How are you doing, really?

[Music] i genuinely wish that i like heard that question more with people like with like a i wish i heard that question more like knowing that people's intentions were to hear how i actually was doing i'm fine but not like the best to be honest um i like drank a whole bot a whole bunch with my family last night and i don't remember what i did or said so like i'm kind of like feeling like regret about that and so like that's just like an immediate thing that's making me feel a little bit wonky but like overall like i'm i'm i'm all right just lately with school and work stress a lot of days i just want to go home lay on my floor and scream so that is that is how i am doing yeah just a lot of pressure i'm okay uh all right i'm gonna answer this for real um i don't know life is hard i dropped out of college and i work two jobs that are really really cool but they don't pay a lot and so the reality of like probably not moving out for a really long time is kind of on my shoulders now because like my parents are going to move out of the house and they're kind of like where are you going to go um so i kind of wake up and think about that every morning like do i give up these jobs that i love and get like a job that pays is there even a job that pays for someone that dropped out of college and so i just don't know where i'm gonna go i don't really get asked that often to truthfully say how i feel we were chugging along kind of like um wadding through water that's probably up to you like shin level where it's not slowing you down but it's kind of still hard to move i'm about to graduate and i don't know the world feels really big like there's so many alternative knees that could be spread out from this point like a me that maybe goes to grad school or uh or me that goes to tokyo or me that stays in san diego and it's kind of hard to choose which you you want to pursue but at the current moment right now i'm having a really great time hanging out with my friend we saw some baby ducks that are now like grown you know they're getting on this life so you know i guess i should be able to go and get on with life good i'm just having a nice day and i woke up feeling nice and good i'm really happy why do you say that uh because i met somebody that feels like home so how does home feel uh safe love [Music] me the true answer would be not so well i am like am i supposed to get like a real like in-depth like is that what you want um i suffer from like mental illness and stuff like that and um i've been good for a while i've been in hospitals before and stuff like that but i've been good for a while but lately i just kind of felt like numb like i'm not getting better but i'm not getting worse kind of kind of just kind of stuck in the same place and i don't know it doesn't feel good if i don't think about it too much i'm not getting worse but then it's like i'm not getting better then i'm getting worse you know with my with my own struggles but but yeah that's basically it today i am blessed i um actually have a year in two months sober so my life today when you say how are you doing i can actually really say genuinely from my heart i am doing great i am doing amazing um my god is my higher power and my lord and uh today i'm just i'm so blessed to have my family back in my life and um i woke up sober today so i'm doing great i'm scared that i'm gonna just work like a nine to five the rest of my life and not do anything i want so i'm currently happy but i want to figure out how to [Music] set myself up long term to be happy i'm in a rehab program and it sucks but i'm almost out of there i'm fine on depression meds i'm a heroin addict but i'm doing okay so what led you to make the change my children probably like a 4.5 out of 10. why do you say that because i'm probably worried about paying half my rent before the weekends you know what i'm really insecure i'm doing well but i'm really insecure and that's just how it is and i'm hoping to work through that and to be to feel strong and feel vibrant but yeah knee-jerk reaction insecure honestly i'm confused i'm 20 years old i live in the most expensive city in the world i don't know what i'm doing i don't know if like i'm studying the right thing because it's so white and i don't know if i'm going to actually make a difference so i'm kind of just like in a really weird headspace of what the heck am i doing you know i don't know when i'm where i'm gonna live next semester um i don't know if i'm gonna be able to afford it um i don't know if i'm getting financial aid because i'm struggling academically um what else i'm lonely but it's okay because i have really great friends um i like being alive but um i'm confused i'm really confused i want to say fine but i'm doing good now and in a way definitely better than like two years ago okay well i was how are you feeling two years ago depressed and not in a good place very i was going to uh maybe i shouldn't really admit it though but let's just say i probably wouldn't have been alive by now and yeah that i don't know what changed uh i told my dad how i was feeling and then like he just said let's go for a walk and i'm like okay i'll just go for a walk and then we just like talked about it and i think and stuff like that i'm like well i guess i need to like start doing things like well if i die then i guess i'll have to well who's gonna take care of my birds and who's gonna keep drawing my art and i have to do that so i think i'm okay i think i'm okay i think i've been better and i've been worse i think today i'm having a day of like self-reflection so worse would probably be i'd say a few years ago i was in a really terrible relationship i think i didn't really know who i was i didn't really want to be alone um i think the last few years after that i've been okay with being alone i would never even just be sat here by myself like that's weird i would never never think of doing that so even that in itself was when i was worse probably i think better is just any time after that so i feel like there's still some way for me to go but i'm not there yet i'm doing okay right now because i care deeply about someone for once it is returned into the same amount and so it makes me really happy and gets me through most of my days and so that's why i'm okay right now i battled through uh many struggles in life many trials and tribulations whether it's uh gangs violence drugs but now where i stand i i'm truly blessed where i'm at i i completely changed my life a complete 360 and and that's who i am right now like i didn't do it for anybody else but me because i've been through a lot but i know that that's not going to lead me to anywhere good [Music] how am i doing i think i'm doing better than i thought sometimes you don't still give yourself credit for what you have accomplished really terrible [Music] why is that um i don't know i just have a lot going on i am doing very well today's just been a great day um i became a college graduate today at the end of my graduation just been enjoying a vacation with my wife daughter and family so i feel like a million dollars today i really do i'm actually pretty cold right now um but overall i guess always good trying to be good you know i i'm i'm hungry what i ate for lunch doesn't really agree with me so it's sort of hurting my insides a little bit so you know i'm starting to feel that but then i'm also feeling a little bit hungry now because it's almost dinner time so it's weird because you know i just sort of have this internal pain of hungry and then pain from lunch i don't know how to explain that but it's weird but other than that i'm looking forward to sleeping tonight struggling why is that there's a lot of underlying things that people don't talk about you go how are you and the very subjective answers to say good or i'm doing well but no one really gets to the bottom of it and say oh yeah i'm doing because my dog did on the couch today no one says that so there's a lot of things that people don't talk about you just have to be normal so what are you struggling with right now a lot of anxiety i'm slightly loopy i feel kind of warm i'm a little bit chilly i didn't sleep enough last night i am trying really hard to answer this honestly i am um is there a time limit how am i doing i guess how are you doing and it implies that there's like a shift right or that like you had known from some point how i was doing i don't know how do you feel because it's really what's really hard to describe without going into everything that you don't already know about my life which is kind of what i was saying about it being like a weird shift it's like how am i doing is relative to like everything that's happened for the past always because yeah i feel like there is no how i'm doing so what if i said can you like generally give us tell us who you are and then tell us how you're doing based on that [Music] i'm really bad at this no you're doing great well i'm not from here obviously i'm from atlanta i think me being here is i think it puts me in a space where i am like really fleeting kind of and i maybe that's why it's so hard to answer it's because i'm in like an unfamiliar space and i'm just like i feel like every moment is like a new how i'm doing rather than it's not my normal day by day hey everyone to end this episode i thought i'd talk about something that's been on my mind lately i feel like i don't do enough for those of you who reach out to me in the comments and share your stories and struggles with mental illness so i thought it would be cool to make this episode and in honor of mental health awareness month i'm dedicating it to all of you who've been brave enough to share your stories with me and anyone else who deals with mental illness that's pretty much it thank you guys for watching and i'll see you next week you

Channel: Thoraya Maronesy

Views: 1,520,428

Rating: 4.9826698 out of 5

Keywords: PEOPLE CRYING, MAKE YOU CRY, PEOPLE APOLOGIZE, PEOPLE FORGIVE, people share, 30 people 1 question, social experiment, cut, jubilee, the skin deep, ellen degeneres, interactive projects, yes theory, oprah, the scene, documentary, humans of new york, hony, 100 people share, HOW TO APOLOGIZE, FILMS THAT MAKE YOU CRY, STRANGERS SHARE, THE POWER OF APOLOGY, HEART BREAK, mental health awareness, mental illness, how are you doing, STRANGERS ANSWER, TOUCHING, INSPIRING

Id: 5uzEM0CdBX0

Length: 12min 57sec (777 seconds)

Published: Thu May 09 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/PaulNissenson]

A couple thoughts come to mind.

(1) This reminds me a quote/saying which I am paraphrasing here: "Everyone you meet today is fighting a ferocious battle with something you know nothing about… so don't presume and be kind."

(2) No way I could be 100% honest if someone stuck a camera in my face and asked how I was doing.