When Life Hurts | Jimmy Evans

coming up on the overcoming life with Jimmy Evans I love the Lord but I was afraid of those moments of silence because I knew in those moments I was vulnerable because God was wanting to talk to me about some things I didn't want to talk about they hurt too much there was too much shame there the devastation of certain events in my childhood and let me say about the silly thing about hiding from God you're hiding from your healer [Music] [Applause] this morning I want to talk to you about the five emotional facts of life and these are things that are true for all of us and the first is life hurts this period god never promised us a life without pain he does promised us that he would be there to heal us and to help us in the circumstances whether it's our own sin or failure parental failure death of loved ones especially when it's untimely or tragic disappointments abuse rejection betrayal whatever it might be life hurts and it's just inevitable that the older we get the more hurt there's going to be in our lives the second emotional reality of life is unless we deal with pain properly when it occurs it accumulates within our hearts and this is why I call this series The Hurt pocket there's a place in our hearts that when we don't deal with pain properly it drops in that pocket that place there where hurt accumulates and you know there are two unfortunate realities in life and the first is very few of us know how to deal with pain when we're growing up and even as adults if you have really wise parents who are godly people and who help pastor you through the difficulties of life you're very very blessed but most of us were not in that circumstance and even if our parents were Christians most of them don't know how to deal with pain and so we just kind of do our best and in my life I'm gonna tell you about some of the things that happened to me in my life but as things happened to me in my life that were painful I didn't know how to deal with pain so I just didn't I just hid it I just denied it I pretended it didn't exist but I had problems later on with that the other unfortunate reality is that time heals nothing and there's this old saying that time heals all wounds no it does not time heals nothing and in my opinion pain gets worse over time number three emotional reality of life emotional fact of life is accumulated pain and unresolved problems compromise our mental emotional spiritual and relational health as things accumulate within our lives they begin to compromise us that's why the hurt pocket needs to be emptied on a regular basis we're going to experience pain and as we experience that pain once we know how to deal with that pain we can keep that pocket empty but unfortunately when we don't know how to deal with pain and we're dealing with it in wrong ways the more that accumulates within our hearts the more compromises this now I'm going to tell you my silly story and the reason I'm telling you this is kind of a silly story this is something that in my life that that happened to me that illustrates this point but this is not the worst thing that ever happened to me there were things that happened to me when I was growing up there were devastating to me but I can't share them it just wouldn't be appropriate but I'm gonna share this and I only say that to say as I'm telling this I just don't want you to be thinking well Jimmy boohoo you know I'm sorry for you but you should have lived my life well I understand that I'm sure that there are many of you that had more painful experiences that I did but but this is not the most devastating thing that happened but it changed my personality and it proves this point well I have two older brothers Damien and Lucifer and they and we all went to the same schools while I was growing up we never moved when I was growing up but we went to the same skills and so my brothers went six years at Paramount Terrace Elementary School I went five years there and in the sixth grade between my fifth and sixth grade years they changed the boundaries and so I was informed in a summer between the fifth and sixth grade that I was gonna have to go to Coronado elementary school the next year well that you know I would say the word devastating but you know it wasn't that bad but I took it hard at 11 year old boy and so they told me you're not gonna be able to see your friends again at Paramount Terrace you have to go to Coronado well at the end of that year they changed the boundaries again and they told me that I could go back over to the junior high that my brothers had gone to that all my paramount terrorist friends were at so eagerly I went over to Crockett junior high and had two great years play football basketball track had great friends wonderful experience and then in the ninth grade they changed the boundaries again and so in the year between the summer between the 8th to 9th grade I was informed that I couldn't go to Crockett i had to go to stephen f austin so i just didn't want to so my parents went back down to the school administration office and they told my parents well ok since this has happened to him before he can go to Crockett but he can't play sports he's ineligible and so you can't play sports so I thought well okay I hate that but you know I'll just watch my friends play and I'll you know tough out the year and go on to high school so I didn't play sports but I wouldn't watch my friends and so I was on the sidelines during the football game watching my friends and there was this vending truck at the end of the football field one of those kind you know pulls up and lives up the side and they have soft drinks and candy bars and those kinds of things so I went down bought a coat and I was saying they're buying the coke in the cheerleaders I knew the cheerleaders on the other team and while I was standing there they walked up started talking to me kind of started flirting with me who can blame him think about it and so they walk up start talking to me so I talked to him walked back to the other side of the field you know watch the rest of the football game came to school the next morning and there was a note for me to go to the principal's office and you know how that is that you know that's not good news and on the way down there I thought well what you know why am i being called and I knew there were many reasons I capital punishment might be appropriate but I was just trying to figure out you know what it was so anyway I get the principal's office and the principal says bend over you're getting swats I said excuse me he said bend over Evan's you getting spots I said what for he said you know what for and again I was calculus I wasn't gonna confess anything I was just thinking okay what did I get caught out and I said sir I don't know what for and he said you went to that vending truck yesterday at the ball game and I bent over I said yes sir I went down to bought a coke and he said those cheerleaders who came up and you started talking to him and I said yes sir he said it's against school rules to go the other side of the field during a football game and I said sir I didn't go the other side of the field I said I just took a few steps on the other side of the vending truck to talk to those cheerleaders he said the vending truck was in the middle of the field when you passed that vending truck you were on the other side of the field it doesn't matter how far you passed it when you passed it you were on the other side of the field now bend over and he gave me hearts was and that's when they broke my spirit all the things that had happened up to that were just painful and frustrating but that's when they broke my spirit and I went back to class and I had my little jaw set and I thought you people are gonna pay you teachers you principals you school people you know you're gonna pay and I sit back down in class and my friend said Evans what happened and I told him they said oh no really I turned to my friends I said let's have a contest guys and I said really what and I said let's see who can get the most swats this year my friends went awesome they weren't smart but they were sweet and so for the rest of that year we had a contest to see who could get the most swats and I won I was constantly in trouble which meant I got more swats I was winning the contest and I was frustrating all the teachers and principals which was wonderful for me that was my whole point and so the last time I went to the principal's office that year I was a little behind one of my friends I thought oh I've got to get in trouble get some good swats here and pull back in the lead so I I did something that was assured three or four swatter and they sent me to the principal's office when I got the principal's office the principal met me and said you see my face one more time this year young man you will not see high school do you understand me that was a bad moment let me tell you another shocking moment my life is the day that he joined my church in Amarillo I thought I thought I was in heaven I seen the rapture some I didn't know but you see my face one more time you will not see high school and and I mean I was mad at him he was mad at me we locked eyes and like go ahead make my day I was so mad at him you know and just annoying him was a wonderful thing so somehow I got to high school when I got to high school I was always in trouble ten years ago a woman in our church named Rolla walked up to me and said pastor Jimmy my mother stopped teaching because of you and I said who's your mother and she told me and I said oh yes I'm sure she did yeah I remembered everything so anyway I was horrible in high school was always in trouble because I was mad and I was hurt and it accumulated and I didn't know how to deal with it when I met Karen in high school I was an athlete I was a pretty good kid and I was an athlete and I just played sports in high school but I began smoking drinking fighting and being immoral and I I look back in my past one day and I was thinking when did when did I change when did I become a bad kid what when did all these things happen that moment that moment in the principal's office when I mean I want to say something to all the young people here I'm a dance teachers and principals and school administrators have a very very tough job to do and they deserve respect okay and I made a wrong response I want to say that very clearly I wasted those years I truly did and they were only trying to do their job and I just you know I got hurt in the process and I made a wrong response and so the pain that accumulated in me compromised mentally spiritually emotionally in every way I just became an unhealthy person everyone experiences pain on the journey of life these unresolved hurts impact every relationship in our lives but God desires to heal and redeem us in this inspiring series called The Hurt pocket Jimmy Evans will show you how to identify and resolve life hurts the steps to making peace with your past and how to create positive legacy for generations with your gift of any amount we'll send you the book when life hurts which will show you how to remove and resolve every negative event from your past that is keeping you from your god-given destiny and with your gift of $65 or more you can receive the hurt pocket series on CD or as an audio download plus receive the life-changing book when life hurts if you want to receive access to the hurt pocket series on DVD or a video download as well as when life hurts they're yours for a gift of $90 or more you can experience a new level of freedom and fulfillment today [Applause] number four emotional fact of life is we all deal with pain in some way right or wrong you have to deal with pain you can't not deal with it and so all of us deal with pain in some way is the issues never the issue when you're when you're dealing with alcoholism or drug addiction or or food addiction or gambling addictions or sex addictions or anything the issues never the issue to an alcoholic alcohol is not the issue pains the issue we're dealing with pain and when a person goes to Alcoholics Anonymous and they've helped millions of people break alcohol addictions but when you go to Alcoholics Anonymous then they have their 12 steps the first step is fess up start talking about that thing you won't talk about see every time there's pain in our life the devil puts fear and shame around it so we'll keep in the darkness fear and shame we don't want to talk about it it hurts too much we're too ashamed of it or whatever but understand this anything of the darkness is in the devil's domain because he's the Prince of Darkness whatever's in the light belongs to God because he's the God of all light so the devil's greatest interest in our lives is to keep pain there by putting fear and shame or whatever it is upon that thing or just secrecy when I became a Christian you know and even when I had my quiet time so I could read my Bible and pray I could spend time with God as long as it wasn't silence because God you know that book boundaries that it's a great book for people to read I don't think gods have read that book God will put his finger out in the middle of your cereal bowl and stir he's God he owns us and he wants to talk about what he wants to talk about and he doesn't talk surface stuff the weather sports what'd you kill last weekend that kind of stuff he goes right to the heart of the matter abuse anger bitterness hurt betrayal he wants to talk about what's really on our hearts and as a young believer I I was afraid I love the Lord but I was afraid of those moments of silence because I knew in those moments I was vulnerable because God was wanting to talk to me about some things I didn't want to talk about they hurt too much there was too much shame there the devastation of certain events in my childhood and let me tell you about the silly thing about hiding from God you're hiding from your healer when he touches paint it doesn't hurt when he touches paint it goes away jesus said come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden I'll give you rest for I am gentle and humble and you'll find rest for your soul see when you're hurting your worst nightmare somebody jabbing at it he doesn't jab he's very gentle and he touches the Bible says that a bruised Reed he will not break in a dimly burning wick he will not extinguish until he leaves justice to victory and that means if you're the most shattered broken life in the world he will not deal with you roughly or disrespectfully he understands and he's a healer and he'll take the devastation of your life and touch it gently in heal it he's the only person who can heal the wounds of our past and I want to say in those moments when I wouldn't be silent and let the Lord deal with me I continued to paint continue to hurt and I just went went and did and did always busy until the day I sat in the presence of God finally and let him begin to deal with the issues of my life the fifth emotional reality of life is the only way to stop the hurt and totally resolve it is to turn it toward God to empty the Hurt pocket okay this is Matthew 5:4 this is one of the Beatitudes I'm sure you've heard the scripture before blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted okay Jesus is always right I'm gonna disagree with him for just a minute that I'm gonna come back in the great thing because he's always right there are a lot of people who mourn who aren't blessed there are people all over the world who are in anguish but they're not blessed and they're not comforted so when you have a simple read of this and you think people are blessed because they're mourning that is incorrect and let me offer a paraphrase a fuller prayer phrase of this to explain what this does mean blessed are those who turn their pain toward God for their pain will be validated understood and healed you're not blessed because you're mourning Jesus is saying you're blessed if you'll turn your pain toward me and he was talking about a nation that was devastated under Roman occupation bring your pain to me I'll comfort you I'll take care of that pain pain emotional pain only heals in the presence of light it's not like your body it won't go away if you don't talk about it it won't go away if you deny it it's still there it's still accumulating it's still changing and compromising the way that we live our lives but Jesus says blessed are those who mourn but blessed are those who bring their pain to God because our comforts you and here are the emotional requirements the essential requirements for emotional healing and I'm finished number one is just honesty before God you got to get honest is Lord I open my heart to you and I trust you with these issues of my life that I'm hurting and talk about those things in the presence the Lord he's he's not ashamed of you there's nothing that you've done that will make him reject you regardless if he you did it to yourself or someone did it to you and when there's abuse and when there is failure and when there are all those things in our past again the devil puts fear and shame there to keep them in darkness and we've got to break out of that understanding that God is not my problem God is my solution and God is not trying to find a reason to reject me he already found a reason to love mean it was Jesus our sins are forgiven we have been accepted by God and we're his children and we can boldly go before the throne of grace with any issue in our lives to find mercy in our time of need he's my healer he's my friend he's the great physician he knows how to heal my pain and by the way Jesus senators and understands pain more than any other person in the world he went through more of it when we go to Jesus with our pain he understands that he sympathizes with it that's what the Bible says but I have to get honest I have to bring it into the light number two is responsibility to God I've got to take responsibility for my behavior I can't people may have done things to me life does not for me my response to life forms me but my parents did this my brothers did this my friends did this whatever it might be but understand this even though they may have done it to me I can overcome it I'm not a victim I'm not a helpless pawn on a sea of fate I'm a disciple the Lord Jesus Christ and I can do all things for him who gives me strength I'm not helpless and you see in family systems I'm thinking of one family right now who had a lot of dysfunction in their family in pain and three children one came out full of hate and still won't talk to anyone thirty years later the other one came out addictive a rebellious and addictive drugs alcohol all kinds of things and her that way to this day and the other person came out turned to Christ turned back led their parents to the Lord and disciple their parents we have a choice we have a choice in how we respond life doesn't for me my response to life forms me and I can make right decisions but it always begins with responsibility rather than blame transfer remember when Adam and Eve sinned and God came up to Adam and said what is this you've done and he said that woman you gave me men have been saying it ever since then he went to Eve said what is this that you've done she said the devil made me do it well come on they were grownups they could have taken the right response but instead they blamed each other listen regardless of what other people have done to me that's fine I take responsibility for my own behavior I'm gonna take responsibility of what God tells me to do here's the bad thing if another person is the problem they're also the solution I'm helpless regardless of what they did Jesus is the solution and if I do the right thing I can overcome take responsibility for your behavior and number three is mercy from God for me and to those who have hurt me now I would say two things as I close forgive yourself sometimes we can we may be able to believe that God forgives us and he'll forgive anything that we've done sometimes we don't forgive ourselves regret is one of the greatest things the devil uses to cause misery in our lives just regret because Jesus died for me on the cross I don't have to live with regret I am forgiven and whatever I did wrong I can learn from it let me say this I want Karen I almost divorced I was a horrible dominant verbally abusive husband and God now uses that to heal millions of people around the world the greatest failures the greatest scars in your life turned to God can become the greatest glory to God in your life but the devil wants you to live in regret and not live in victory don't live in regret give yourself mercy give yourself a little bit of mercy okay and then give that mercy to other people forgive the people that have hurt you in your life I played football basketball ran track baseball a boxed I swam I did all kinds of things growing up and my father never came to one of my sporting events I asked him every time I played sports daddy I'm playing football today daddy I'm playing baseball today and he never came to one of my events sporting events and I had the best relationship with my father in the last twenty years before he died just he was my dearest friend and he he came to the Lord and he was a different person but growing up he was distant quiet and never involved himself in my life and I didn't understand that it was hurtful obviously you know and I used to fantasize I used to look on the sidelines at other boys dad so needs to fantasize that was my dad because I knew that was the closest I were gonna get to to my dad being there and I never understood why my dad was the way he was until my aunt's told me one day stories about my dad and my dad was the was among nine siblings there were 10 kids in the family and they lived in abject poverty his dad was a sharecropper face my dad slept outside every night on a cot he never slept indoors growing out and in the wintertime he slept horses they meet once a week they were very very poor and eat vegetables every day hate meat once a week on the first day of school my dad showed up at school he didn't know their report he didn't anything measured by but he showed up for school and he walked in and he had overalls and bare feet and when he walked in with his bare feet other kids started making fun of him and my dad ran to the front yard of the school grabbed a tree and wouldn't let go until his parents came to get him and as soon as my aunt's told me that story I gave my dad mercy because I here's what I thought my dad he stayed at work he didn't come to my games but my daddy was a hard worker so that I'd have a roof over my head and shoes on my feet and I did and bless my daddy the people who hurt you we're hurting themselves and it doesn't justify what they did but it sure explains a lot of it and because I don't know everything people have gone through I'm not qualified to be their judge only God is but we all have pain we all have to deal with that pain and when it accumulates it compromises us but thank God for Jesus thank God for his love thank God for His mercy and thank God that he can touch every area of our lives and heal us you know we all deal with pain in our lives no one lives their life on this earth without experiencing some pain that's what we all have in common but as a pastor for over 35 years I can tell you that there is a huge difference in the way that people deal with their pain and I've walked a lot of families through grieving and through death and through really terrible circumstances and I've seen some people who you know they hurt and they grieve but they get through it and they get on the other side of it but I've also seen people who don't they never get through the grief they never get through the pain I was telling about my own story there in that message and I'm healed I mean I'm healed and I live a healed happy joyful life but the difference is letting God be God when I talked about Matthew 5 and Jesus said blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted when we bring our pain to God and let him be God see the worst thing you can do when you're hurting is to ask the why questions you know why me and why now and why this and why that because there's no answers in most cases you just don't get the answer of why this person died when they did why this event happened when it did why somebody else seems to be more blessed than I am when you are going through pain the most helpful thing is to trust God and just to know he's on your side that he loves you when I was going through my pain I didn't know what was going on I didn't know how to respond to so I responded poorly and I lost several years of my life really more than that to anger in rebellion in to all of those kinds of things and I regret that I deeply regret it I didn't know better then but I know better now and I'm saying to you don't let the devil steal one day of your life being angry bitter hurt grieving turn it to God turn your pain toward God trust him with your heart trust him with those areas of your life that you don't understand because he does understand him and he is a faithful wonderful God and he's madly in love with you I want you to turn your pain toward God we're gonna continue this series now I want you to stay with us but I'll see you next time on overcoming life find help and healing from the pain you carry with Jimmy's inspiring series The Hurt pocket available on CD DVD or as a digital download will also include Jimmy's companion book when life hurts The Hurt pocket series on CD or audio download and the book are yours for a gift of $65 or more or receive the series on DVD or video download and the book for $90 or more The Hurt pocket series will show you how to identify and resolve the hurts of life God's desire to heal and redeem you and the steps to make you peace with your past let me tell you about the silly thing about hiding from God you're hiding from your dealer when he touched his paint it doesn't hurt when he touches paint it goes away when you support the overcoming life with an online gift of any amount we'll send you Jimmy's book when life hurts create a positive legacy as from the hurts of life experience the hurt pocket series today thank you for watching the overcoming life with Jimmy Evans

Channel: Jimmy Evans

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Keywords: Jimmy Evans, Christian, marriage, Marriage Today, Daystar

Id: hQN7163nTUY

Length: 26min 58sec (1618 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 22 2018