What's become clear to you as you've gotten older? r/AskReddit

redick what's become clear to you as you've gotten old or if you can learn to come to terms with who you are and be happy with that then everything becomes easier basically stop beating yourself up in the probably misquoted words of Homer Simpson don't keep blaming yourself blame yourself once and move on the ease it takes to get injured in the length it takes to heal I believe it was greg Giraldo who had a bit about this it's been a while but it went something like him getting old you know how I know the other day I was walking in the park and I tripped on nothing and fell down just totally ate and no one laughed everyone was genuinely concerned and tried to help me you have short term friends and long term friends and both are perfectly fine it's funny because my mom had this saying there are friends for every season some friends come and go and even the ones who stick around for a bit can leave at some point too but it doesn't make it pointless he had never really connected until me and my best friend of ten years parted recently it hurt at first but I've come to terms with the fact that he was there for a reason we learn from each other and have great memories because of it and it doesn't necessarily mean the end of a connection we're both in different places in life and that's okay nobody pays as much attention to what you are doing or how you look as you seem to think look kinda bloated today nobody gives a forgot something in your car and has to turn around in the parking lot literally zero random Ducks were given when I see people turning around to go back for something I somewhat like them more for it because it means they are a human like me that makes that sort of mistake we've all got to deal with the human condition you still feel young on the inside you look at people the same age as yourself and think they look old and then realize you are the same age this is happening to me all the time I turn 40 this year and I still think of myself as being in my mid to late 20s my manager is the same age as me but I look at him like he's much older it makes me sad sometimes because I know people look at me like I'm supposed to be some wise older guy and I feel like I still have no clue what I'm doing an astonishing amount of people will try to spend their lives coasting on the potential they had as kids / teenagers / young adults potential is toxic once you get past a certain point it lets you forgive yourself for not actually turning up and putting the hard yards in because you know you could so why actually bother that's why novels go unwritten and canvases remain blank I'm really not very old but I have been younger than I am now and something I wish I hadn't done was inadvertently train myself to be a very low effort poor work ethic sort of person when I was a kid I blew a lot of opportunities by putting the minimum amount of effort necessary to get everyone off my back and now I legitimately have a hard time doing anything I don't want to do on a systemic level addictive personality poor willpower and a slackers attitude exacerbated by depressive spells that eat up a large portion of the free time I have at it I'm seeing a lot of fellows smart kids my heart goes out to you that was basically my entire schooling experience also a lot of references to ad I've wondered about it in the past but I was always taught growing up that it was way over diagnosed I think back then my mum was worried I'd get turned into a zombie and now I'm worried that if I do go in and they decide to dope me up it'll destroy my focus once and for all by allowing a chemical substitute if you find someone you care about delight them no there are not so many people in that world with whom you'll create a real connection do not lose them whatever is your method to let them know please do it make sure they understand you care about them my parents aren't really perfect and made a lot of mistakes realizing this was very freeing and a little sad for me I have a strong relationship with my parents and I've always looked up to both of them realizing they made mistakes made me view them objectively I consciously desire which part of their lives I want to emulate in which parts I will not instead of blindly following their advice the sad part is knowing they're not perfect and their advice / suggestions won't always solve my problems I kind of missed the safety net from childhood where if I had a problem my parents can always fix it I'm 76 i have only learned two things so far that appeared to be worthwhile sharing trust in your own intelligence and be kind to yourself props to you for staying technologically savvy it would take me four hours to teach my 76 year old grandparent how to spell reddit much less how to use it Cheers people will believe anything rumors are easy to spread because people don't think for themselves and will not often fact check also people will believe what they hear first if someone gossips about you before you tell them the truth they will think you're lying if you tell them the truth first they will decide the gossiper is lying I noticed that even I sometimes do this without thinking and have to remind myself that I don't actually have any proof either way some people are just ridiculously lucky yes and the opposite is also true very very ducking true grimace is a ducking weird thing to advertise McDonald's with especially when it's negative things you care about I used to define myself by my hatred of pop music Apple and fashion fads now I'm older and I simply don't give a about things that don't appeal to me you like a thing I don't cool you dislike a thing I love need some people are awful for no reason and nothing you do can change that and it's not your fault edit wow thanks for gold not blaming myself for others shortcomings is likely to be a lifelong struggle for me keep fighting you all brushing your teeth is actually important acceptance life is all about acceptance girl doesn't like you accept it guy is no longer a true friend accept it people can be a-holes accept it you're sick accept it you lost a promotion or job accept it it's all about accepting reality as how it plays out do the best you can in life love those luckily enough to be in your life and accept the ones that no longer are at the end of the day you're wasting energy on negative things you have no control over in most instances so stop fighting them as it's wasted energy accept it move and then go in a direction of creating positive steps and thoughts that you can actually control time really passes quickly hours are long but days are short The Simpsons movie came out ten years and one day ago spider pig spider pig people who talk more and have more confidence regardless of ability will always do better in their careers than people who are actually really good at their job in my industry being likable is at least as important if not more important than actually being good yep been saying that for years you really need to be doing the things that make you happy I've been seeking jobs my whole life for the sole purpose of surviving the older I get the more I realize I need to be chasing and honoring the things that make me happy I always thought there would be other time for me to do the things that make me happy but that time is now I've been waiting for a time that it turns out has always been now added Sperling my dick simply does not get hard as often as it used to self-awareness it's shockingly worrying how much of the population are so far from being self-aware of their actions and the repercussions that follow I have self-awareness it just kicks in at night when I try to sleep remember that dumb thing you said when you were drunk at one time sometimes things just aren't meant to be you can wish and want and try so hard but sometimes you just don't get what you want common sense is a superpower common sense and common courtesy aren't as common as they ought to be whatever you do don't tell anyone wait until you have achieved a desirable results I struggle with this so much I get really excited about things and tell everyone and then when it doesn't work out I get embarrassed and frustrated currently dealing with this now as I interview for jobs stressing over the things you can't control is pointless no matter how awful they are edit whoa I did not expect this to suddenly become my most upvoted comment thank you all so much for commenting and talking about this with me I'm enjoying reading all the discussion and a very very large thank you to whomever gave me my first taste of reddit gold and a to someone said I spelled woe wrong so I fixed it that I was stubborn and annoying and wrong way more often than I would have expected taste in art / music / design / food etc started to become a whole lot less important to me I used to say that I couldn't date a person who had bad taste in music you know what that's so self-limiting that you're just doing yourself a disservice now I'm married to an immigrant and most of the music she loves I've never even heard before so Who am I to judge in the end it's all the seemingly boring that tends to rise to the top kindness love honesty commitment when I've been burned hard by people enough times character starts to become increasingly more important in how I choose the people I want to surround myself with kids are like farts I only like mine others are disgusting and they often smell bad the best you can hope for is that yours are at least quiet there is absolutely no point in wasting time in a relationship if it's sliding inexorably downhill stop trying to grip with your fingertips and let that duck or smash wasted so much time on girls who were awful instead of learning to love myself and wading knee-deep and clunge that tom is just a cat doing his job and Jerry is a true friends are going to come and go it may be sad but it doesn't have to be bad it makes you appreciate the people that stay that much more I actually find this fact kind of freeing it's a lot easier to not get hung up on your mistakes and shortcomings when you realize the vast majority of the rest of the human beings on this planet don't give a you'd worry less what other people thought of you if you realized how little they did it costs exactly $0 to be a decent human being ask the ducking person out if you're interested in them tell them do something if you're scared about losing a friendship in the process just stop and think about how many other friends you've lost / disconnected with overtime for absolutely no reason [Music] consumerism equals generalized discontent this affects everyone the best way to cheat the system is to learn how to be content with what you have it is a rare subversive gift but if you find it you'll be happy this is a major one at eighteen through 28 all I wanted was a cool car and all the gadgets today I can't see myself in an expensive car and all I think about spending money on is my business or a trip high school drama doesn't stop after high school people who commit suicide don't always want to die they just want the pain to stop I heard a great example once probably on reddit people kill themselves for the same reason people jumped out of the windows of the World Trade Center they didn't want to die the fire was just getting hotter and closer and it was their only escape most suicidal people don't particularly want to die they just see it as their only escape David Foster Wallace wrote that dfw suicide all people are broken we put labels on everything humans have three phases the face the public sees the face friends and family sees and the face only the person itself sees the private face growing up in a world where the only face you see is everyone's public face you start to compare everyone's public face to your private face apperances you think that you are the only one that's broken but we are all broken we all are afraid of what other might think of us but everyone is selfish we are all thinking the same thought it's not until presence of others that we start to judge others humans are afraid to not fit in so in groups we adapt growing up people are so afraid of what others might think of them that we forget to be ourself that I am more like my parents every day mannerisms likes dislikes good and bad stuff habits are different and I am still me but if I was watching myself work and have fun I would probably be more shocked how similar we are [Music] stupidity is an actual thing and most people possess it and some are sadly proud of it gotta be good at something chasing your dreams isn't always realistic edit wow I didn't expect to get such a response I just want to emphasize always I'm just saying not all dreams are the same if you're 5 feet 6 inches and want to be an NBA player you might want to look at something else I'd say pursue happiness and try not to make that hinge on any one single thing when I was in my 20s I wanted to chase my dreams now I just want to do something that's remotely bearable something where I have autonomy and I'm happy doing it even that's harder to find than you'd think that I am going to die fact the only perfect relationship is the one where both parties actually put in the work to make it work I have no clue what the duck I'm doing and nobody else does either at it a good amount of you are taking personal offense to the end nobody else does either when I say this I do not literally mean nobody on the planet knows it's just my way of saying that there is a lot of people that are still trying to figure their out of course there are some of you that have careers families and ambitions and I commend you for that I was just pointing out that many of us are not quite there yet no disrespect to anyone I simply just feel like I always thought adults were in charge of their lives and had everything figured out now that I'm a 21 year old adult many colleagues of mine are not sure about what the future in five years brings let alone what even next week means sorry if I offended anyone but I figured people would understand I was just exaggerating to get my point across and by the way thanks to everyone else for kind comments saying I'll figure out my life in the end I appreciate it and didn't expect this reaction at all everyone out there will get a grip eventually just know that you're not alone trying to figure out what you're going to be doing for the rest of your life I'm clueless as well but we'll all get there someday advice to self it's always better to have friends maintain your relationships you introverted cave beast I just make friends with other introverted Kate beasts on the Internet hi it's me your friend I am getting older but I will never grow up the idea of an adult from when I was young is unattainable it's a myth since it seems popular I decided to throw in few cents when I was a kid I always saw grown-ups as completely separate entities they were commanding composed responsible and aware of the situation I was counting days till I become so well-balanced myself as the time passed I'd realized that all I saw was them trying to set a good example and be responsible deep down there were as much irresponsible as the rest of us doing an average job is viewed as extraordinary having common sense and not being lazy can get you extremely far people aren't out to get you they're just in this for their own game it's not about making you miserable it's about making themselves happy hard work is almost always rewarded with more hard work hell is other people IRL most issues facing society are not clear-cut black and white right or wrong issues yet way too many people choose aside and from that point on are vehemently sure they're right and anyone opposing them is obviously stupid and incapable of simple logic there's nothing wrong with forming an opinion but there is a lot wrong with not recognizing the validity behind someone else's opinion just how short my life actually is I'm 36 and even if I live to see 100 it's only 64 years from now the existential horror of my short life compared with the universe is becoming more and more apparent by the day watching the sunset on a glorious New England summer day on the coast of Maine was existential II humbling whether I or anyone else was there to see it that day would have been beautiful regardless my time here is so phenomenally short I had better see what I'm looking at thanks for listening to another episode of red attacks subscribe and activate the notification Bell so you won't miss any stories feel free to share your own stories below in the comments have a good day [Music]

Channel: Reddit X

Views: 48,501

Rating: 4.9513245 out of 5

Keywords: Get older, get older reddit, AskReddit get older stories, reddit, Askreddit stories, Askreddit story

Id: pIT8OPCiyOc

Length: 17min 6sec (1026 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 17 2019