What's at The Core of Your BPD?

hi my name is dr. Daniel box and I'm a licensed psychologist in state of Texas and today I want to talk about the core content of borderline personality disorder let's take a moment think about what thoughts feelings and memories impact you most which of these tend to drive you to engage in unhealthy beliefs behaviors and pattern the things that drive you to engage in your beliefs behaviors and patterns are what make up your core content and well don't you identify it for you today in this video ok and discuss what what makes it so hard to get to and to change so let's get started so the two parts of your personality so there are two parts to everyone's personality there's core content and surface content and if you watch my videos you know I've talked a lot about core content in surface content surface content is the result of the activation of your core content surface content intends to be your beliefs behaviors and patterns right that you engage in and at least can be adapted or mal adapt individuals with personality disorders for this video we're specifically talking about borderline personality disorder but again this happens in all personality but in personality disorders these folks tend to engage in maladaptive beliefs behaviors and patterns that perpetuate the personality disorder in this case borderline personality disorder now most videos and stuff you hear about on BPD that tends to address surface structure but what about what's underneath what about what is the root of your BPD okay that is your core content now core content these your core concepts made up of the parts of you that when activated they drive you to believe behave fall into these beliefs behaviors and patterns and for those of BPD they tend to be largely self-destructive now as we go forward in in this video it's important that you know that it's okay to turn it off at any time to pause it if you need to because some of the stuff we're talking about because it is your core content may bring up a lot of stuff for you and that's okay if it's bringing up too much take a break the video is not going anywhere I'm not going anywhere it's fine just take your time just take a break because this is a process that takes a really long time core content is like that okay that is because it's linked to parts to the parts of you that are very central to your psychological makeup that is related to past hurts experiences and it's linked to your psychological defenses as well hey these are called your defense mechanisms and we're going to talk about that as well so let's talk about finding your core content think of a common behavior that you engage in this could be cutting yourself well the EMA will say common maladaptive behavior this could be cutting yourself refusing to to let go of a loved one or an idealized others drinking drugging punching walls or other people and so on all of all those those behaviors well what is a feeling or a thought or an image or a memory that is related to your past that drives you to behave in that way hey you may have to dig deep to find it and through some uncomfortable content to get there but it's important to get there when you're ready now for some folks it is best to do this with a mental health provider someone that can help guide you someone who who understands what's going on with you is not gonna judge you for okay so that's important as well and if you don't feel comfortable joining this on your own that's totally okay you can do it with that mental health provider as well some folks feel like they have enough coping strategies management management strategies that that they are able to to do this on on their own okay so first one of the first things I will do my clients with any personality sorter well actually when they have a personality sorter or not is to find their core content now some common ones for my clients with BPD our worthlessness loneliness vulnerability abandonment emptiness but also being able independent determined having an integrity and so on so notice that all of the core content that I listed are not negative that is because all of our core content is not negative now your BPD wants you to believe that it wants you to believe that your core is negative that your value is worthless that you are unforgivable a consistent failure that's what your BPD wants you to believe but the reality is that our core content is not all maladaptive it is not all negative then we have positives as well everybody does and all parts of your psychological makeup is not all negative it's important to know that your BPD wants you to believe that as we just talked about remember your BPD lies to you it distorts your image distorts how you see the world right how you see what's going on and how you see yourself so remember right that this is a distortion it uses what's called a BPD lens right which is another video that I've made as well okay and it uses this to distort that view so that you can't see yours from your core content or that you only see the negative because if you see your core content authentically you can work to change it and we also have to recognize that your core content has defenses when you feel someone has tapped into your full core content on your therapist friend significant other or whomever taps into your core content what do you usually do what's that immediate defense that that comes up and do you act out do you put out a lot of hateful energy on on to someone someone else who is safer so do you put it on a safer object you use humor do you rationalize using statistics refuse to believe believe it's true try to block it out of awareness or do you split see all good or all bad these are defense mechanisms they keep your core content safe hidden and intact these are the things that are built around it's a defensive wall around your core content that makes it difficult to get to this is part of what makes it difficult for a lot of mental health providers to get to that central component core content of BPD and a lot of times the defenses are so strong that the therapist will give up the client the therapist will get about the client will give up somebody's given up and that keeps that core content safe and that actually reinforces a lot of those defense mechanisms but if you know they're there you know which ones are there you can work to get around them all right and get over them underneath whatever it is to get in to hit and tap into that core content to overcome your BPD you have to get to that core content but because it's so well defended it's difficult right as I just mentioned so what I did is I made a worksheet of common defense mechanisms and there's little check boxes on the left and go through those defense mechanisms and think about all right when I when my core content is activated think of what your core content is think back to those memories think back to those experiences what brings it up what is it is it abandonment it's as emptiness is it loss is it independence some some of my clients when they feel a loss of Independence independence is very important to them that when they feel this loss of Independence that triggers that surface structure behavior and if if that someone is doing that the way they manage that experience that is usually defense mechanism so go through identify what that core content is what is that defense mechanism that's in place and that surface structure behavior you can download that that defense mechanism worksheet go through it check it out remember we're building that insight okay well now that you have an idea of how to identify your core content now that you you have a worksheet or a way to identify your defense mechanisms we've worked a lot on surface structure behavior throughout my videos so now what do we do now what do you do well we're moving through this video quickly but this by no means is simple or a quick task getting to that core content dealing with that core content but now that you know how to identify your core content and the Associated defense mechanisms you can use this information to help you recognize beliefs behaviors and patterns that are associated with it and instead of falling into maladaptive surface content right surface structure behaviors you can identify and use adaptive ones to help you lessen and control your BP in therapy this is what my clients at all what my clients and I work on most sometimes four years after they let me in and I can get around the defense mechanisms and that can take a really long time in many cases it's building up trust this building understanding its building insight awareness what are these videos what are they based on building insight and awareness all right and some folks who the videos have been very kind and they said that they that they trust me so that component is done now we need to do is we need to get around those defense mechanisms to get to core content and explore it and once we get to that core content that explains or helps us provide a framework for what is going on with with the client and what is going on with that individual and how they see the world and their BPD lens and all those other BPD factors that that they're dealing with it's calling all of these maladaptive patterns beliefs behaviors and patterns is so disruptive in their life and it is possible to get down there it is possible to get down to that core content and to do it differently my clients have done it I know that a lot of folks have done it they've written me they've said that they've done it's amazing you can totally totally do it if you want to learn more about about core content you can check out my latest workbook the borderline personality a sort of workbook and it will walk you through identifying your core content lessening its impact building adaptive strategies to do things differently and to grow beyond your BPD and it is possible thank you for your time and attention please leave any any comments or thoughts that you may have about this video or your core content thank you again very much for your time and attention if you like this video check out some of my others and subscribe that would be great thank you very much and have a good day thanks bye bye

Channel: Dr. Daniel Fox

Views: 116,454

Keywords: The Heart of Borderline Personality Disorder, borderline personality disorder treatment, bpd and stress, bpd treatment, controlling your emotions, dr daniel fox borderline personality disorder, dr fox borderline personality disorder, dr fox bpd, impulsive, life hacks, psychology, self improvement, understanding emotions, bpd, mental health, therapist, bpd symptoms, quiet borderline, signs of bpd, symptoms of bpd, symptoms of borderline personality disorder, psychologist, cbt

Id: sAClXSTKVRA

Length: 11min 4sec (664 seconds)

Published: Thu May 30 2019