- And then all of
a sudden I hear, (mimics clearing throat) and I'm terrified
and there's this guy who's standing behind
me and he looks pissed. (funky music) You what up? My name is Opey and
this is the time I did psychedelics at the zoo. First of all, when it comes
to doing psychedelics, you should definitely
do it in nature. Do not do it at the zoo. That's a huge mistake. I was in San Diego. Me and my ex girlfriend,
she was like, "Hey, I got mushrooms. "Do you wanna do it?" And I was like, "Hell yeah,
I wanna do mushrooms." Like, I've always
wanted to do 'em. This was the perfect time. And she was like, "Wait,
let's do it at the beach." And I was like, "No." She goes, "Let's
do it at a hike." And I was like, "No." And I was like, "You know what? "Let's do it in nature. "Real nature. "Let's go to the zoo." Which (sighs) not the move. 'Cause the zoo is not
real nature, you know. Like, no one ever like
encounters a wildebeest while holding a churro. But we get there. We're in the parking lot. She shows me the mushrooms
and I'm just like, "All right, how
much should I take? She goes, "Well,
I'm gonna take one." And I decided I'm gonna take
three which is three too many. I should a take none. That's what I shoulda done. I'm not feeling anything. I'm like, "You know what,
I'm gonna take one more." I took another stem, so I'm up
to four mushrooms right now. We start walking around
lookin at the animals. We see a couple
peacocks, see a flamingo and I'm like, "You know what,
I'm gonna go to the bathroom. "I'm not feeling anything." So I go in the bathroom
and I'm washing my hands and in front of me
is a sign that says, "Please help us conserve water". And I'm looking at
this sign really hard. It's very, like, 3D reflective and it starts to like move, almost like it was doing
a body roll, you know, like it was listening to
an SWV song, you know. And I was like, "Oh my god. "The zoo people built
a sign with a rhythm "so that I would save water. "Like, this was on purpose. "Like, they spent years
trying to figure out "the perfect sign so
that a guy like me "would definitely save water". And so that's exactly
what I started doing. I started like trying
to cup it in my hands and try to put it like
maybe in my pockets. Maybe I could just
take this water and do something good with it. 'cause you know,
the earth is dying. You seen "And
Inconvenient Truth". We're trying to save
water here, man. At the zoo. And then all of a sudden
I hear (throat clearing) and I'm terrified,
and there's this guy who's standing behind
me and he looks pissed. He looks so like angry
at me and I was like, "I'm just trying to
save water here, dude. "What's the problem?" And he goes, "You've
been washing your hands "for the last five minutes." And I could tell he
knew that I was high because I told him. I straight up was like,
"Yo, I'm on mushrooms". And he was just like, "Cool". And I just walked out and
I run up to my girlfriend. I'm like, "Do you feel 'em?" She goes, "Yeah". And I'm like, "I feel 'em too. "Let's explore the zoo." I was expecting to like
communicate with the animals, vibe with them on some
Wild Thornsberry shit but I realize at that
point, the zoo is a jail. The animals don't
wanna be there. The animals don't even
know why they're there. That's what's even scarier. It's a jail where people don't
even know they're in jail. It's so sad. Like, I just saw
like tigers pacing, peacocks just being
super depressed. If you ever see a depressed
peacock, that's really sad. Like the feathers were down,
they're not strutting around. They got like a
limp to their walk. And at one point I walk up
to the gorilla enclosure and this big silverback
gorilla gets up walks up to the glass,
looks at me and smiles and I'm like, "Oh my god,
he knows that I'm high". So I run. I just run away. I'm scared at this point. I'm terrified, I'm looking
at all these animals, they're looking scared, they're
not even like trusting me and I don't trust them. And then I get to
the bear enclosure. There's no one around me
and I see these two bears. There's a polar bear
and a grizzly bear and they're laying
right next to each other and it's beautiful. They're sleeping, they're
like interconnected 'cause like the mushrooms
are really kicking in and I see their fur
just like melding in and I'm just like,
"Yeah, this is it, man. "This is what it's all about. "Like, if these two bears
from different cultures "can coincide and be
next to each other, "why can't we as
humans do that?" And my girlfriend walks
up to me and she goes, "Where have you been? "I've been searching
for you for 30 minutes". And I wanted to turn
to her and be like, "Look, this is hope." And before I could
say that, she goes, "Ha-ha, look at that
dirty-ass polar bear." And I realized that was
just dirty polar bear. And I just turned
to her and I'm like, (bomb exploding)
"We're doomed." And then I ate some
chicken nuggets and went home and cried. - [Announcer] Tales from the - [Computer] Trip,
trip, trip, trip. (beeping)
