"What Is The Simple Truth About Marriage, Divorce And Remarriage"

I am delighted to be with you and to be a part of this great program again every year it just gets gooder and gooder as a little boy said and we really do appreciate the chance to be a part of it what is the simple truth about marriage divorce and remarriage now who gets to answer that question who gets to decide what truth is when it comes to this subject or any subject for that matter but you know there are a lot of different views that are held on this and so which one is the truth and is it really that simple these are the questions at which to address tonight now I want to point out that if a theistic evolution is true there's no explanation for the origin of marriage for the rules concerning it or controlling it it's all just happenstance and each society just makes their own rules as their society dictates but if there is a universal creator and marriage belongs to him and he made it then he can control it can he not is it not his to decide what is right and what is wrong you see that's the bottom line of this whole issue it's not what brother so-and-so might have said that is the definitive final issue although he might have worded it well and helped us and I'll even quote one brother in particular near the end of the message that helped me with a good illustration on this I think but it's all the bottom line is that all boils down to there is a God in heaven Daniel 228 and he has spoken from heaven to man in this book right here you remember the statement is the simple truth well what is truth in John 17 and verse 17 we're told by Word is truth I think of Psalm 33 and verse 4 for the word of the Lord is right and all of his works are done in truth and then if you'll go with me in your Bible for just a moment to psalm 119 I want you to zoom in on what's stated in verse 141 particularly that last phrase in psalm 119 verse 141 where the Bible just comes right out and says by law is truth make it verse 142 they'd be even better since that's where it is 142 thy law is the truth now go to verse 1 51 verse 151 and you'll notice a statement last part of the verse all thy Commandments are truth and so when it comes to the simple truth about marriage divorce and remarriage this has to be our standard it cannot be the latest poll or what the congregation wants or what someone thinks that the congregation wants it has to be about what God said in his inspired book and so with that said I want to now ask these three questions first what's the simple truth about marriage the bottom line about marriage is just so clearly shown to us in Genesis chapter 2 you remember that God had made everything and everything that it made was good good good and good chaleur and I want you to keep in mind that the first thing he saw that wasn't good was that man should be alone but he took care of that and aren't we grateful that he did there in Genesis chapter 2 you'll notice that the Bible says in verse number 23 that Adam as he looks at the bride that God has brought him the Lord God in verse 21 caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and the rib verse 22 the Lord took from man from that he made a wall man brought her unto the man and then Adam said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out a van and therefore the editorial comment is given shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one we're both naked the man and his wife and they were not ashamed did you notice something in this passage that's so simple and still so true today God's designed for marriages original design for marriage involved a male and a female it involved one male and one female God did not bring two females to Adam and say here are your wives he did not bring a man to Adam and say here is your help meet the god of this universe who controls it made a woman brought her to the man and that's his design someone says but I don't like that I say this all the time but I say it because I still believe it's true if you don't like God's system design for marriage then here's what you do you go out and create a universe create some human beings of your own and you can come up with whatever rules you want to but wait a minute you say I I can't do that right that's exactly the point is it not you and I cannot do that and so what do we do we bow to the one who could do it who did do it and we acknowledge his superiority and wisdom and power to us because we can't do what he could do I tip my hat to him every time and say God you know what all things you know what its best and so one man one woman together for life that's the original simple truth about marriage how far do you have to read in the Bible before you see people corrupting that simple design for marriage not far Genesis chapter 4 and verse 19 Lamech took to himself two wives and so it began and then you read in Genesis chapter 6 that the sons of God were looking at the daughters of men and saw that they were fair and they chose to them any wife they wanted to they chose any wife without regard to any other consideration it was all about physical beauty and not about anything spiritual and the next thing you know the world has become so corrupt that every imagination of the thoughts of man's heart was only evil continually and then God has to destroy the world with the flood and I would suggest to you that a lot of the downfall of the society that led to it being destroyed by a flood was not paying attention to God's rules for marriage that's where it started now as you think about this Esau forty years old when he takes a couple of lives that were Hittite and how did that work for him and for the family the Bible says these women were a grief of mind to Isaac and Rebecca Genesis chapter 26 verses 34 and 35 and then read with me Deuteronomy chapter 7 because here is God regulating the people whom they can marry now do they say wait a minute who do you think you are to tell us who we can and cannot marry no because God had every right to regulate marriage it's his it belongs to him and so he told them as his covenant people verse 3 a bitter anima 7 don't make marriages with these Canaanites those people in the promised land know my daughter thou shalt not give to his son or his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son why not they'll turn away thy son from following me that they may serve other gods and he warns them explicitly not to do this file that away for what we come back to later in the message what was the simple truth about God's law for marriage for them as far as the people they could marry in the land of Canaan he told them don't marry these folks did God have the right to tell them that or not yes or no he did now Jesus did you change the truth on marriage because centuries had passed between Genesis 2 and your comments on it in Matthew 19 Jesus did you in mark chapter 10 and Mark's account change your views or change the scriptural view of what marriage is I want you to go to mark 10 with me and notice that the original question in mark chapter 10 interestingly enough was not even about getting married it wasn't even about getting remarried the original question that they asked Jesus in mark chapter 10 was about putting away which will address next in verse two of mark 10 the Pharisees came to him they asked him is it lawful for a man to put away his wife and they were tempting him when they asked this question now it's interesting Matthew doesn't tell us the blow-by-blow way in which this all unfolded he just gives some summary statements but there was obviously some back-and-forth going on between Jesus and the individuals asking him this because you see them in Matthew's account making a claim that Moses had commanded this writing of divorcement and then Jesus is saying well what did Moses command you command you and they said well Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement and to put her away and Jesus what's your response to this for the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept but from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female and for this cause shall a man leave his father mother cleave to his wife and there'll be one flesh and verse 9 what God has joined together let not man put asunder how many times have you heard that at a wedding ceremony is that still applicable tonight yes was it applicable in mark chapter 10 yes it was still just as true as it was in Genesis chapter 2 and so the simple truth about marriage has been trans generational it has covered different covenants and ages of Bible history it's not peculiar to one age of Bible history it's the universal ordinance I want you to notice next what's the simple truth about divorce the simple truth is that God hates it Malachi 2:16 he doesn't want it to occur in fact I think it's interesting in marks account of this whole equation in verse number ten in the house his disciples asked him again about what the Pharisees had asked him about earlier in the chapter and he says unto them whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another committeth adultery against her did you notice something missing in mark 10 and verse 11 there is no accepted before clause Jesus what are you doing I'm giving you the general rule now some have made the erroneous allegation that because this was spoken to his disciples that it was the rule only first followers and that others would not be bound by the same rule but I want you to go to Luke's account in Luke 16 of another episode where Jesus is addressing the Pharisees in Luke 16 and verse 14 they were by no means his followers they did not want him to do what he was doing they were fighting against him every which way and what did Jesus tell the Pharisees in Luke 16 18 whosoever putteth away his lines notice it doesn't say next except it be for fornication it just says whosoever puts away his wife and marries another committeth adultery and we're so merry after that it's put away from her husband committed adultery and so what's going on here is Jesus contradicting himself by no means he's simply giving the general rule on these occasions but he would also add more information in other passages and accounts now when I was a student at freed-hardeman some of you may have been students back in the days of Bader gymnasium and you might even remember this when I was a student there in the early 80s there was a sign a little placard up over the door of the gym as you entered it said no food or drink in the gym and then you go into the other door it said no food or drink in the gym one of the doors have this little placard hanging right next to it except during ball games so what's the general rule the general rule is no food or drink in the gymnasium are there any exceptions to that rule yes there is one except during ball games there's your exception and so what's the general rule don't divorce your mate and then get married again on top of it don't do that that's the general rule are there ever any exceptions to this general rule the answer is emphatically yes in fact I would invite your attention to Matthew chapter 5 and this is Jesus teaching in the Sermon on the Mount and in Matthew chapter 5 in verse 31 it has been said and is it an interesting that throughout the Sermon on the Mount six times Jesus says here's what you've heard people say but here's what I'm going to say to you and three of those six times he said here's what you've heard of all the time this is something you've been hearing for a long long time but I'm going to tell you this now what have they been hearing they've been hearing well verse 31 if you want to put away your wife just do it give her a writing of divorcement but I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife now watch saving for the cause of fornication causeth her to commit adultery and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery now how is it that by not putting away my wife for a reason other than fornication I caused her to commit adultery how could that possibly be if I put away my wife for a reason other than fornication that's not a scriptural reason and she does not have me and more because I put her away and she's going to be tempted to contract another relationship which she has no scriptural right to do in which case if she does do that by putting her away for a cause other than fornication contributed to her becoming an adulterer that's what the Bible says emphatically in this passage and so it is a big deal the simple truth about divorce is I don't want you to do it I don't want you to do it except and here's the only time you're permitted to do it saving for the cause of fornication now you go to Matthew 19 and you'll notice that in Matthew 19 as this conversation between Jesus and the Pharisees unfolds what do you notice in this text Matthew chapter 19 the Bible says that he tells the look you think Moses was granting you the Liberty to just divorce and and remarry for any reason of your choosing that he was commanding you no no that was something permitted only because of the hardness of your hearts not because that's God's original ideal or plan in fact he says in verse number 8 of Matthew 19 last phrase but from the beginning it was not so and I say unto you whosoever shall put away his wife now he's going to give it a closet we don't read in marks encounter Luke's account except it be for fornication and shall marry another committeth adultery and loose old marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery now if you've ever wondered whether preachers are being too strict with their teaching on marriage divorce and remarriage and you think that maybe they're not nearly as loving as Jesus was and that we just somehow become hyper critical of those who are divorced and that we some have lost our love for them I want you to notice the disciples interpretation of what Jesus said is quite telling is it not in verse 10 his disciples saying to him well at the case of the man be so with his life it's not good to marry if that's the only reason for which you could divorce and subsequently remarry with divine approval then seems like you'd be better off not to get married than to be in a marriage where you've only got one out one one exception one escape if if it becomes necessary to leave the marriage this seems like there there ought to be more this is business Jesus says we'll look not everyone's going to accept this and receive it save they to whom it is given he said some I will tell you they're eunuchs because they were born that way from their mother's womb they had no choice in the matter some were made eunuchs because other men made the Munich's they had no choice in the matter and there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake he that is able to receive him let him receive it but if it's going to get married here the rules may apply now I remember very vividly a man coming to me and my very first work and after talking with him it became very clear that he did not have a right to remarry and he knew it he wasn't - trying to get someone to convince him that he was ok but he told me this he said look in my early 20s I made a tragic choice and decision I lost my wife to it and I am now in a position where I cannot scripturally remarry as long as I live he was white-haired and advanced in years when I met him but he'd lived for decades making himself a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake because he realized that to do otherwise would violate divine teaching he's passed on long ago since I met him I want to ask you something if you remain faithful till the day of his death in the ways that God demanded of him and required of him in his word will heaven surely be worth it all yes or no well that seems so confining and so cruel my friends would you rather have 20 30 40 50 maybe 60 or even 70 years of marital companionship and lose your soul forever or live faithfully to God as a single individual as Paul was capable of doing without never getting married he never got married and so it's possible to live faithfully for God and and not get married or not get remarried wouldn't it be better to follow God's divine plan than to lose your soul forever in torment that's what this boils down to now the simple truth about remarriage is the last thing I want to notice before I start giving you some some views that people have come up with I want to give you some simple answers to refute the simple truth about remarriage is this whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication and shall marry another committeth adultery and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery now the meaning of this passage is not complicated I'm contending in loving ways tonight that the truth on marriage divorce and remarriage is simple the only thing that makes it appear to be complicated are the choices people make in violation of God's clear teaching not the teaching itself that's what seems to complicate things guy in Woods was a favorite of so many of us in this room I'm sure here tonight I don't worship the man I never did but I do think that he said something so wise when he told the story that I'm about to tell you and this was one of the last sermons that he preached before he passed from this life and I'm sure he said it many times in many places but I heard him say this he said someone came up to him and said brother Woods we have such respect for your years of study and scholarship and we've been in a real controversy about matthew 19:9 and what it teaches about marriage divorce and remarriage and so what we're asking you to do is to delve into this passage and give us your critical analysis of matthew 19:9 after all your years of study what do you think the best and simplest explanation of that passage is brother wood said that he said in response to them I will give you my analysis of the passage the passage means whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication and shall marry another committeth adultery and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery but I don't think you understand what we're asking you to do appreciate that we know what the verse you know how it reads but we want you to give us an exegesis of it I mean delve into the nuances of the language in all of the text and everything that it says and please give us your exegesis your commentary on matthew 19:9 and brother wood said all right here is my commentary on matthew 19:9 whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication and shall marry another committeth adultery and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery and then he said this and i will never forget him saying it the passage doesn't need explaining as much as it needs believing and that's still true tonight now I'm not cold-hearted and callused about this subject no I am NOT in fact I'm going to tell you before I look at some ways in which people have tried to justify the stain in the marriage that doesn't meet the scriptural requirements I'm going to tell you that years ago at a local work I was doing there was a young couple that came to us they were on fire for the Lord the young woman had actually quit her job at the fitness club where she worked because she said the clothes they require me to wear there are so tight and form-fitting that I do not feel like Christian modesty would allow me to work there anymore under those circumstances she was there every time the doors were open I baptized her into Christ her husband had been a member of the Lord's Church and then she had a Bible study with me afterwards and I had even asked about their original situation their marriage and she said that her husband had the cheated on her and that she had divorced him and so I believe the best first because that's what love does until it has other evidence to believe otherwise one Sunday morning I was preaching a sermon and I didn't even comment on matthew 19:9 I merely quoted it and after services the husband came up to me and he said if what I just heard you preaching your sermon is true I'm afraid I might be living in adultery I said I hope that's not the case but let's sit down and talk about it here's what happened while she was still married and her husband was away on business she and her loneliness she said met this man at the pool the public pool another sermon for another time and she said that as they began to gaze at one another at the public pool they both were attracted to one another and the next thing you know she said we were together and I said now you while you were married we're together with this man she said yes I said so you were guilty of committing adultery yes the Lord never envisioned matthew 19:9 being used by guilty party to put away another equally guilty party someone says but the divorce dissolves the connection of the bond between the two parties but brother Gus Mickle's was wise enough and others were wise enough to note that there are some other handcuffs involved in this relationship and people have responded to some of these arguments that some of these preachers have made by noting that you're also tied to God in your obligations to him and that's what makes this an issue and so heartbroken I talked to them and realized more and more that they did not have a right to be together they seemed so perfect for each other when I got home that night I walked in my house and my wife met me at the door I'm not trying to be dramatic I'm just telling you what happened I just started crying she said what is wrong and I said this this must be how it starts for some preachers but pray it will not happen to me what are you talking about I said for a fleeting moment for a fleeting moment on the way home this thought flashed through my mind this couple seems to be so perfect for each other there's got to be a way that they can stay together and then I realized I'm not making the decisions about who has the right to stay together and who does not I am obligated to follow the wisdom of one greater than I smarter than I more loving than I you can't say that God would give these rules because he doesn't care about people because let me ask you this how many brokenhearted children more would we have if God's rules weren't so strict about marriage divorce and remarriage and so I said you pray with me right now that I will never waver from the truth no matter how much I like the couple involved and we prayed that prayer and I wept those tears I know that if my children ever make a decision to get married and then violate these rules I will still love my children I will I will still love my children but I will never if God is my witness pray for me I will never allow myself to suddenly decide that maybe the Bible is not as clear as I thought it was on marriage divorce and remarriage you ever heard this statement no man turns against reason until reason turns against him I think Hume might have made that comment I know this very few men that I've ever met no man I've ever met as a matter of fact has turned against the simplicity of the teaching of Jesus on marriage divorce and remarriage until that teaching turned against him or a family member and then suddenly we have to restart the issue my friends there are some simple answers I want to give you in closing to this subject number one one error you hear is this the truth on this subject is so elusive that you can't really know the truth on this subject I know of a congregation where my dad once preached where the eldership got up before the membership and said the following we have just returned from a seminar on the subject of marriage divorce and remarriage and after attending the seminar and hearing all the different views presented by so many different good brethren we have decided that as an eldership we don't have a position on the subject and so we will not ask any questions about your marriage or your divorce or your remarriage because this thing is so murky that if good brethren can't agree on it then it must not be something that God expects us to really settle is it true false that first Corinthians chapter 6 says adulterers shall not inherit the kingdom of God does the Bible say that or not yes or no do you believe for one moment that Almighty God would make something a Salvation issue and then failed to give us enough information to be able to figure out whether we're guilty of the sin that would damned our soul do you think for one moment that God said adulteress you're not going to make it to heaven I didn't give you enough information in this book to really clearly show you whether you are or are not an adulterer so just you know good luck that's blasphemy I promise you the Galatians 5 which Lister's one of the works of the flesh verses 19 to 21 first Corinthians 6:9 and following the Bible is not muddy or murky on this subject it is absolutely clear and we must not back down from teaching the truth on it just because some individuals have determined that they're going in a different rection we've got to be loving but we've got to be firm now here's one you hear well Matthew Mark Luke and John are not a part of the New Testament and therefore the marriage laws that are taught in Matthew Mark Luke and John do not apply to New Testament Christians because those things were said before Jesus died on the cross and the Testament is the force after men are dead Hebrews 9 15 17 jesus said those things before he died so that's Old Testament legislation not New Testament legislation and therefore we don't have to hold people accountable to those things have you ever heard that how accurate is that well wait a minute Matthew Mark Luke and John true they do record some events and teaching that took place prior to Jesus's death on the cross but when we're Matthew Mark Luke and John written after the establishment of the church after the New Testament came into force and that's why they're properly put as a part of our New Testament and besides it's interesting isn't it people want to get rid of Matthew 19 because oh it has those marriage laws in it do you know in the previous chapter Matthew 18 Jesus gave legislation for how to deal with the situation if you have a fault with a brother you go to him and him alone if that doesn't work it out you get two or three others to go with you and if that doesn't work it out you tell it to the church wait a minute Matthew's an Old Testament document the church is a New Testament thing we're told friends Matthew was written in the New Testament age and Jesus gave some anticipatory legislation that would be binding in the New Covenant age such as except a man be born of water and of the spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God that's John 3:5 let me ask you can we bind John 3:5 on people today yes or no if you say yes then how can you then get rid of Matthew 19 and say it's not binding you've got to take it all now close cousin to this view that Matthew Mark Luke and John are not a part of a New Testament is the view that says well non-christians are not amenable to the law of Christ anyway and thus they're not accountable to his marriage law stop if they're not amenable to the law of Christ how do they become sinners the Bible says that sin is the transgression of what the law first John 3:4 if I'm not amenable to the law of Christ then how pray tell would I become a sinner and violate a law not even amenable to if I have violated that law that I'm accountable to it and I'm accountable to how much of it all of it and that needs to be clearly understood tell me how the Corinthians could have been guilty of the things Paul indict them for you were idolaters effeminate you were drunkard you were revilers you were extortion as you how could they have been any of those things if they hadn't been under the law of Christ they were under the law of Christ and they needed the forgiveness that only comes through Christ and interesting Hebrews 7 12 makes this clear the Bible says that with the pre the change of the priesthood there's what a change of the law and guess when Jesus became high priest he's the high priest right now he is the high priest and the law of Christ the sacrificial system that saves me is not the law of Moses it's the law of Christ and that's true for everyone now have you heard this next one baptism washes away sins therefore the sin of adultery I committed in the past as a sin that's been washed away I'm no longer an adulterer because that sin was washed away let me ask you first of all is baptism the only requirement for the remission of sins yes or no it's not the only thing Peter said in acts 2:38 rip can't and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins can I ask you something did Jesus say he that believeth and is baptized shall be saved yes if someone told you I do not believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God would you still baptize them yes or no well you'd better not what if someone says young living in a sinful situation but I don't plan to get out of it well baptism will wash that away okay here's the thief he's embezzled 25 thousand dollars from his company what if it says this baptism washes away all sins I stole that money before I was baptized there for the sin of stealing that money has been washed away and therefore it's forgiven and I can keep the money yes or no if farmer John can't steal farmer Joe's wife if you can't steal farmer Joe's cows rather I should say without having to give them back pray tell what doctrine allows farmer Joe John to steal farmer Joe's wife and and not have to give her back I'm telling you this idea is simply simply inappropriate for us to overlook because repentance is a requirement and baptism does not wash away consequences notice next someone says the Apostle Paul gave an additional reason for divorce and remarriage in 1st Corinthians 7:15 if I'm deserted by my mate that I'm not under the marriage bond anymore a couple of things Paul knew very well what the word for the marriage bond was in Greek in fact he used it in verse 27 he used it in verse 39 he did not use the word for the marriage bond in verse 15 he used a different word for bondage there now he's referring to the marriage bond why wouldn't he use the word that he used in other places in the passage to refer to the marriage bond because he's not referring to the marriage bond in first Corinthians 7:15 and there is a tense use it's a perfect passive participle negative therefore here's the force of it it literally means was not bound and is not bound and never would be bound your soul devoted to Christ yes but you your marriage to your partner you've never been under such bondage to your partner that you would be required to give up your faith in Christ to keep them from leaving you you have never been under such bondage and you are not now under such bondage and you never will be and then someone else says well you know preacher of a loving God would never expect an unscriptural a married couple to rectify their situation by ending the marriage especially if children are involved I want to close out my comments by going to Ezra chapter 10 with you for a principle here that certainly needs to be remembered remember the argument is a loving God would never require couples who are unscriptural II married who have children to separate in Ezra chapter 10 what's going on here remember I said remember Deuteronomy 7 God told them don't marry strange wives for and wives don't do it what are they doing here what are they done here in Ezra 10 verse number 2 second ayah says to Ezra we trespassed against our God and have taken strange lives of the people of the land but now there's hope concerning this thing and we're just never going to do it again that's not what he says he doesn't say let's all promise that what we did in the past will ask God to forgive us for and then we'll never do it again these are covenant people by the way they were already in a covenant relationship with God and you'll notice that the Bible says here in this verse verse 3 let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives watch and such as are born of them according to the counsel of my lord and watch this part because it does take this and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God and let it be done according to the law I'm telling you it takes courage to do what some have done and I admire them so much for doing that verse 4 says be of good courage and do it there's some weeping going on the last phrase in verse 1 they wept very sore I've cried tears you've cried tears and we're always going to be doing that but look at the last part of this chapter every chapter 10 and we'll just look at verse 10 and 11 I'll close out here Ezra tells them you've transgressed you've taken strange wives now therefore just say you're sorry and everything will be okay no verse 11 make confession under the Lord God of your father's do is pleasure and in addition to the words that you speak separate yourselves from the people of the land and from the strange wives and did you notice what the people said verse 12 as thou hath said so must we do I'm not standing here and telling you that it's not emotional or that it's just easy but I'm standing here and telling you that I don't want to stand on the day of judgment and have you look at me and say preacher you knew the simple truth about marriage divorce and remarriage why didn't you tell it to me let us all dedicate ourselves to the proclamation of the simple truth about marriage divorce and remarriage let's do it with compassion but let's do it with conviction and clarity and never back away from what God's Word says

Channel: Jim Milam

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Length: 43min 18sec (2598 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 16 2017