What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

the narcissist needs to be the center of attention and anybody else that's getting any attention is a threat anybody else that's getting laughs anybody else that's getting focused on anybody else that's of interest we need to get rid of them because all the attention needs to be on the narcissist they have a really pathological need for admiration they need people to tell them how smart they are how interesting they are how special they are show them how entitled they are and if that doesn't happen they get very upset they get very frustrated and they can go on the attack and when we say a lack of empathy these folks just don't have the ability to stand in somebody else's shoes somebody might show up late to work and you say oh you're never late what what happened i might say oh just as i was leaving this morning my dog got out and was hit by a car and killed my dog what would be a normal reaction people would go oh my gosh you must feel terrible i'm so sorry not a narcissist a narcissist doesn't have the ability to identify with that person's feelings so they might say huh well you're here now or uh what kind of dog huh well you'll have to get another one so anyway what i want to talk to you about they have no ability to reflect feelings they have no ability to identify with what that person might be experiencing at the time and be empathetic now this is different from sympathetic i'm talking about empathetic where they can identify with that person's feelings put themselves in their position for a minute and understand how they might be feeling they don't have that ability which is why it's very difficult for them to ever have a close relationship with anybody so we're talking about a sense of his self-importance and entitlement preoccupation with fantasies they create this world of how special and how important they are they believe that they're special they believe that they're unique they're very exploitive they're very arrogant so you'll see them doing something that you would think oh my gosh they must be embarrassed about this they don't read the room you might see them saying or doing something that anybody would be embarrassed to say or do and everybody in the room is rolling their eyes the narcissist doesn't see that because they don't read the room they're not interested in anybody's opinion they just want to know that they're the focus of attention and they assume everybody thinks they're as special and unique as they think they are again they're very envious of anybody else that thinks they're special or has a unique perspective or point of view now understand that when we're talking about these kind of people they're very very difficult to get along with unless you're willing to subordinate your interest your needs to these people at all times and if you're not they're going to put you in your place now stop and ask yourself if you deal with people like this in your life how often are you going to encounter somebody that is truly a narcissist now there are people that you know kind of think they're special and they may kind of be show-offs or whatever a lot of people are that way sometimes when i'm talking about a narcissistic personality disorder i'm talking about a consistent pattern of behavior that you'll see over and over again not occasionally not they just have a day where they just kind of think they're all hot stuff i'm talking about a pattern of behavior across time now these people tend to gaslight you if you try to call them on their behavior in fact i always tell people that ask me about it they say look i've put up with all this that i'm going to put up with so doc i'm just gonna call them out i'm just gonna confront them and get in their face and let them know you're not special you're not unique you're taking advantage of me and i'm not putting up with it anymore so what do you think doc don't you think i should do that you know what i always tell people don't bother don't bother first off they already know what they're doing you're not going to tell them anything so if you're doing that you're doing it for you not for them because they're not going to change based on what you say to them what they're going to do is gaslight you you're going to hear a lot of statements like you're the narcissist i never said that i'm not angry i'm not taking advantage of you i'm not that way you're that way look at you you're judging me they're going to play the victim role and attack you and before it's over they're going to be in a victim role and telling you that you're the one with the problem and trust me they have more staying power than you do they will never give it up these folks don't respond to therapy very well at all about a third of them that get into therapy they'll get up and walk out in a rage as soon as you start to take their inventory about a third of them will find something about the therapist they don't like and they'll start criticizing and trying to get into a battle of wills try to win a debate rather than learn anything and you know the remainder they might try to listen for a period of time some might get some better but i can tell you generally speaking i think some of these people actually get worse in therapy than better because the therapist tries to point out to them what their deficiencies are such as a lack of empathy and they say what do you mean and they might use the example that i used of what happens when somebody comes in and says their dog got run over so what they're doing is basically teaching the narcissist how to mimic empathy so all they've done is make the narcissist more dangerous because now the narcissist at least knows how to mimic the first layer of empathetic conversation or behavior and that's why i say they've actually made them worse they now have given them the tools to at least hide their narcissism a little bit better you

Channel: Phil in the Blanks

Views: 774,810

Keywords:

Id: eI65CbmTlAc

Length: 7min 32sec (452 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 19 2021