What if You Talked in Subnautica? (Parody) - Part 1

[Music] excuse me out of my way moving i lose an old lady [Music] gotta go go go go launch go thought this was the bathroom where we going oh how am i going to get back someone will come get me right well never mind oh boy it's okay stay calm uh well that's not gonna be good oh come on who designed this thing ikea stay there oh damn it oh man what smells so good ah it's me i'm cooking let me out there it's open ah oh god that's hot ah what do i do uh fire extinguisher how do i there we go good it apparently put out that edm music too i'd rather died well time to check into snapbook need to update my status to slightly cooked but smelling good man this thing is moving slow how bad is the wifi here you have suffered minor head trough whatever i'm perfectly carrot yeah okay i might have had drama outcome this pda has now resulted in emergency mode with one directive to keep you alive on an alien world oh man no insta snap book ugh might as well just die now good luck um uh yeah i don't know what to do uh let's just see what i got on hand some flares a nutrient block and something gross and water i could turn on the radio get some tunes going i guess it's damaged though need a repair tool or something maybe i can buy one let's see if there's a hardware store outside [Music] oh the aurora suffered orbital hull failure cause unknown zero human life signs detected zero human life am i dead no that's silly or is it wonder what's going on down here does this thing have a basement nope well i could go for a dip i'm gonna need a better mask what are you little guy you're adorable and you and you i'm going to gather all these little fish and mushrooms wow wow they're full of acid last birds was this thing a fabricator i wonder if it can make a good cup of tea ttt i don't see tea in here a battery yeah sure might as well oh what else we got um water mmm fish water that'll be tasty i guess i can cook these pepper sounds fishy the fabricator cooks small organisms while disposing of the skeletal structure bodily fluids and internal organs thus rendering them safe for human consumption yeah thanks still fish though it is common for those accustomed to synthetic foods to be repulsed by eating an animal carcass remember that humans survive this way for millennia you can too well thanks for those somewhat non-encouraging words snorky alexa now let's try this alien fish gross and the fish water yup yup something almost but not quite entirely unlike fish i hate it there's got to be a good place somewhere around here to vomit maybe if i gather up enough scrap i can build myself a spaceship out of here only i knew how to do that survivor's log let's call this water world hardcore mode day one i've been stranded on an alien planet that appears to only be water i'm gonna be doing a lot of swimming kind of wish i'd worked out a bit more than never before landing here i'm gonna be sore tomorrow also the wi-fi here is atrocious what do we got in here what's this hello little guy but hey where you going guy was it something i said all right an oxygen tank hopefully that'll help me stay under a bit longer not sure what to make next alexa how do i make a spaceship alexa oh well time for more fish water i wonder if i can eat these people eat seaweed right probably better than fish life on this planet grows in unusually distinct and diverse ecological biomes further study recommended i agree though i need to study to find out what distinct diverse ecological biomes all mean when i find that out though i'll get back to you you know if i wasn't terrified of this place before at night it's beautiful which somehow even makes it more terrifying pretty sure all these water dwellers want to eat me and now i can't even see them coming oh it's a good thing no one can tell i'm peeing myself whoa that is a big moon detecting increased local radiation levels guess alexa can tell i'm peeing myself with damage to the aurora's drive core sustained during planet fall yeah the drive core definitely has nothing to do with my pee after drinking that fish water nope oh boy all right i made the repair tool now how do i use it now that ain't it let's just hold it up to this and it magically fixes itself that's one hell of a tool all right power let's repair the radio and get some toon skis going after that maybe fix the wi-fi what do we got here we have a message [Music] nine hours that's um uh guess i'm gonna be here for a while yay a knife weapons were removed from standard survival blueprints following the massacre on abraxas prime the knife remains the only exception yeah because no one ever killed anybody with a knife before wait what happened little braxtous prawn all right let's try this thing out fabricator i need you to reattach a finger survivor's log water world hardcore mode day two every muscle in my body burns like the surface of the sun also i hate fish damn suicidal guppy what evolutionary advantage does exploding solve oh hey i got another message are they coming for me we're plugging some holes in our emergency sea glide so if we're late for the rendezvous don't panic also don't go home without us other survivors three out signal location uploaded to pda fine guess i'd better go see if they're okay damn that sea cow has some major gas issues all right attention life pod three anybody there you copy sea glide i'll take that anyway this is crewman dent i'm here to fix your mess anyone here guess not finally i could tell which direction the ocean is in and it is all of them i better get out of here before whatever made this hole comes back what is this thing can i like sonic these bubbles and get air while i'm down here what was that ah i'm afraid of the dork i'm afraid of the dark i'm afraid of the light survivor's log water world hardcore mode day three everything in the water wants to kill me i'm also starting to wonder which one of these fish isn't gonna taste like fish consider disguising the flavor of unsavory meat with salt or locally sourced herbs and spices oh thanks alexa i suppose i could garnish these fish with seaweed or fish water or rocks or other fish cause that's about all i got how does this thing work this is kind of fun are these blades sharp fabricator finger again oxygen yeah oxygen's overrated yeah fine let's go oh boy pass it out only died there for a moment back to it come on get some air get some air here we go go go go go go i'm like a dolphin the hell are you you sure are a big and aren't you can i ride you like a pony uh finally i can use my legs again local radiation readings suggest the aurora's drag core has reached critical stage ah that doesn't sound good will occur within two hours how worried should i be and should i be looking for a bomb shelter can this make one of those bomb shelter bomb shelter i don't see a bomb shelter in here alexa okay every noise in this place unnerves me can we stop it with the noises survivors log day four i found a whole bunch of ship parts all over the place i'm hoping maybe some of this will come in handy alexa also won't shut the hell up but i've kind of learned to tune around a lot like these creepy island whale noises gal shut up [Music] vending machine maybe i can get a candy bar or uh [Music] oh alexa alexa how the hell did i get back here also alexa why the hell didn't you say anything that can't be good oh boy it's coming up time to meet my maker face to super critical face 18 minus 10 oh the waiting is gonna kill me if the explosion doesn't bring it on [Music] well that wasn't so bad a little loud but i've heard worse oh good radiation hopefully that doesn't affect my brain or anything time to grow some new feet a new message yeah goody mutants from the aurora are finally ready to eat me this is ozzy from the cafeteria what the hell guys whoo hey i love that guy he made the crazy gravy train delicious bay on the way down now we're hanging on the edge of a cave system and this grim looking snake thing is trying to beat through the hulk grim looking snake thing get us all ready signal location uploaded to pda grim looking snake thing well ozzy's on his own survivor's log day seven we're gonna go check on ozzy to see if he survived because we're a big softie granted it's been a few days since we received that message i wanted to but you know i figured we'd let the snake do its thing before jumping in but oh there he is that is a big hole he's probably fine right ozzie you cool you didn't get your head bit up did you that'd be ironic well no sign of aussie new message maybe it's him this is avery quinn of trading ship sunbeam aurora do you read over yes we're here please nothing but vacuum these all terra ships they run low on engine grease send an sos you offer to help they don't pick up aurora i'm out on the far side of the system it's gonna take more than a week to reach your position do you still need our assistance over yes please i'll try them again tomorrow damn charter's gonna have us blowing our credits running errands for altera a week uh whatever see if we need your help we got this i don't need anybody nope no you do not that's right i sure don't that's right yes indeedy survivor's log day 17. we've built a submarine thingy called the sea mouth seymour oh seymour sorry it's okay we're going exploring today welcome aboard captain vashti matey we set sail for the wider planes warning maximum depth reached hull damage imminent whatever press on what's that what what is that retreat retreat reverse what the f was that thing it looked like a snake on p90x with the jaws of life strapped to its face and class life forms in the region no [Music] it most certainly is not what have we found mushrooms pretty mushrooms and snakes big giant snakes you know we just ran from a snake we don't need this survivor's log day 20. we've started building a base yes yes we have we were unsure where to build it i wanted to build it further out but i thought on the edge of the red grass stuff was probably good we may move it later we just need to gather more parts for it however we have ourselves a new fabricator which we shall call tui oh and we went and visited the aurora earlier met a friend your message aurora this is son it's him we just picked up a massive debris field at your location i didn't know how bad how many of you i didn't know that's okay we're over it we're now on route to your location we're gonna bring you home sunbeam out they're coming for us what else can i say guys the only time i parked a rig this big on a rock that small was in vr microphone's still a bad option all right but so are all the others that's less than comforting but it's okay we're gonna make it do we have another one this is officer keane in light pod 19 the captain is gone i have assumed commander mutiny the last thing the captain did was give me coordinates for dry land dry land one and a half kilometers southwest of the crash site stay together and good luck this message will now repeat hey mateys we head for dry land survivors log day 24 due to our eventual island expedition i've relocated our base despite my objections whatever you shut up now you shut up things are coming along nicely we've added a moon pool and a whole bunch of other stuff it's a nice home away from the other homes we've had none of which are really homes more just places that aren't water i hate water today we're gonna go find out where this island actually is rubies we're finding awesome stuff now what's in here diamonds you gather are the property of the all-time cooperation you will be liable to reimburse the full market price your current bill stands at 3 million credits what motivational note craig mcgill crash landed in the acid swamps of boreal 9. that boy if he can do all that you can survive one more day says you we're surprised we've lasted this long one more day might be one day too many we're working on borrowed time as it is plus if we owe three million credits after this we might as well drown here rather than in debt this is sunbeam it's my best friend i thought i was your best friend well after you of course now shut up and try to listen andromeda and we have a saying there there's no bad without the good no good without the bad sounds like you tasted a bunch of the former but that only means you're overdue a whole lot of the latter might just be we're in we're scanning for somewhere to park we'll be in touch when we find it sunbeam out does that mean we're due for more bad i don't know neither do i did he say good first or bad first whatever he's coming and we love him and he will love us yes he will love us there better be something good in here like pizza or no just pizza with no anchovies dear god no anchovies survivor's log day 25 we shall call this not-so-watery world apparently we've been living in the ocean for weeks when we could have been living in a tropical paradise not sure what these trees are but we don't care we're eating them because they aren't fish nutty with a distinct aftertaste of fish damn it it does seem we were not the first ones on this planet faces have been built out here and have nearly rotted away at our best guess we say it's been several years what the hell are you um we have land starfish and we think they're pissed off you know using our legs feels kind of weird let's get out of here huh ah that's better we have decided to continue living in the ocean because buoyancy on land is weird ah the old home we haven't been here in a while ooh message aurora we're approaching the planet now we have a landing site for you that's well it's better than the alternatives we've sent you the coordinates they're here only 40 minutes oh we're not ready we haven't showered in uh weeks we need to get a haircut and shave and lose several pounds it's almost time it's almost time suppose it makes sense they land on an island it's as good a place as any but they're going to miss the water experience and if there is a hardware store and a wendy's in there we're going to lose our mind what the hell there's nothing in here it's basically a goth apple store except for this green cube i wonder if i can make a ninja turtle with this we've only got a couple minutes left better get back someone hold our place in line should be able to see them by now shouldn't we the thing is uh doing things is it like a transformer or something that's pretty cool i don't know what it is but it looks like a giant telescope survivor we see high i don't know how you held out down there yeah we may do we broke an atmosphere and we're descending towards the landing site we hear you is that a building down there this is an apple store what do you mean you can't identify it we see you hold on so turning back now positions everyone touching down is ten nine eight seven why you stop counting it's coming from the building uh guys [Music] foreign almost draw myself in a recording booth that have been a first i've relocated our base despite my objections whatever you shut up no you shut up talking to myself is really weird

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Keywords: Subnautica, Subnautica game, Subnautica PC, Subnautica PS4, Subnautica XBOX, Player, Protagonist, Survival Game, Subnautica Survival Game, Machinima, Subnautica Machinima, Subnautica Talking, Subnautica Talk, Talk, Talking, What if, Talked, Hilarious, Fun, Funny, Joke, Humor, Comedy, Press Start To Laugh, PSTL, Press Start Laugh, PS2L, HiveLeader, Hive, TheHiveLeader, Brad, Nord, NordVPN, vpn, sponsored, XBOX, XBOX ONE, Steam, EPIC, EPIC GAMES, Steam Games, Video Game, Sub Nautica

Id: G9js8va0hrM

Length: 21min 52sec (1312 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 10 2020