What I Wish I Knew Before Marrying A Texan | Ron Pearson Comedy

but I married a woman from Texas do we have any Texans in the room wo calling Cry of Texas welcome where in Texas are you from San Antonio San Antonio fantastic my wife her name is Tanya Turner she's from Tyler Texas and her brother's Todd Turner so it's Tanya and Todd Turner from todler Texas and that is East Texas so for her her accents really thick for her high is a three syllable word how'd you stretch that out high should be one syllable she has a phrase y'all right y'all means everyone right but she has another phrase which is all y'all which apparently is everyone plus everyone else and my wife is Southern so she loves to cook but why is it when my wife goes on a diet the whole house has to go on a diet no one else in my family can eat because she is not buying food and she is not cooking food 2 weeks into my wife's diet I'm so weak and emaciated I can't even speak I just blink to the children save yourselves 3 weeks into my wife's diet kids in Africa start sponsoring me my wife went on a tofu diet tofu you know what tofu is straight from the pit of Hell that's what tofu is tofu is a white Jello-O it has no flavor or taste or smell that you cook in a pan next to another food and it sucks the life out of the other food now that is demonic tofu is one of China's biggest exports you know why they don't want that stuff either tofu is a Chinese word it means spam there's only one country in the world that doesn't like tofu and that's England too much [Applause] flavor they have bad food and tee tell warm English I all that good emotion just my keep it on Testify the motion love [Music] that

Channel: Ron Pearson

Views: 3,183

Keywords: ron pearson, comedy, stand up comedy, magic, juggling, comedian, ron peerson

Id: FEVqe4XZCIk

Length: 2min 29sec (149 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 27 2023