Mistakes Women Make During S€x As Shared By Men! (r/AskReddit)

men have read it what are some mistakes women make during sex girls listen it's all about the downstroke that's like penetration penetration equals good upstroke isn't the same upstroke is withdrawing upstroke equals not good so please don't yank on it like a lawnmower you're ain't gonna start nothing that way I was wearing a condom and my export it it'd be funny to stretch that reservoir tip and let go like a rubber band wasn't all that funny I'm oh yes a one time a girl asked me to come on her but I was wearing a condom so I attempted to pull it off fast so I could oblige her well I stretched it about three feet before it slipped out of my grip and snapped right on the head of my dick at the exact moment I came y'all never want to feel your jizz get forced back into your pee pee hole trust me on that my balls are not stressed toys please don't squeeze them so hard please don't ever just stick a finger up a man's ass everyone's foreign policy is different then consider my port international waters I can tell when you are giving me a pity and it's a total turnoff if you don't want to do it then say sir don't try to discreetly insert your finger in my [ __ ] we know what you're up to if you want to try it just ask greetings sir may i insert my finger in your [ __ ] kind regards here is the [ __ ] as requested kindly do the needful best lifting her hips up at the wrong moment causing my thrust to retarget the exit lane nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition putting their thumb in my butthole and saying who's a cute little thumb warmer yes you are yes you are this story pretty much sums it all up don't surprise men while having sex buckle up guys because you're in for a story several years ago seeing a local girl and she's at my place lovely evening moves on to some light kissing some touching and pretty soon we're naked I'm lying back on my bed she's down using her mouth on me now being the gentleman that I am I am focused on holding in a fart I could leave and head to the bathroom but she's seriously good so I'm just putting all my energy on keeping that fart inside me nothing too difficult I can handle this if I keep my attention away from how great her mouth feels in focus on keeping my ass shut after a while of fantastic tongue action she looks up at me from between my legs and says don't worry now up until now I haven't been worried at all I was enjoying this evening I was fully aware of the situation and I had absolutely no cause to worry about anything but now she told me not to worry I started worrying I started worrying a lot what was she into now what I would like to say happened next is this she gently eased a very well lubricated thumb slowly inside my back passage while keeping me in her mouth and treated me with care and dignity that did not happen this happened she said don't worry I started worrying and then within a second she rammed her thumb up my ass deep and dry it felt like sandpaper being parted by cheese grater the shock of having a thumb forced inside me with the force of a thousand suns caused several things to happen one I screamed - I half sat up and third and possibly worst I released the fart I was holding which was not as she suddenly discovered a dry one her thumb was fully inside me and I released my clenched sphincter to allow the deep rumbling liquid hell fourth picture what happens to the water when you put your thumb over the end of a host pipe and spray it into the air then replace water with shart hose pipe with my ass and the air with her face she understandably jerked hard backward from the brown spray however in doing this she pulled her thumb straight back out of me I clenched harder than a camel's eye in a sandstorm and then for some reason came she screamed and ran to the bathroom and turned the shower on I fell back onto my pillow smelling of sweat SH asterisk t income we don't talk anymore treating my dick like a trampoline when on top it's easy to get carried away I get it but in the blink of an eye I could lose all I hold dear to me working an earth reverse cowgirl is a death trap leaning back too far when on top some dicks aren't that flexible when fully erect if I'm starting to sit up when you lean back it's because my shits about to break off mine just pops out lil dick gang faking pleasure if something isn't working for you let the guy know if he thinks he's doing well he won't change anything if you let him know what you like and don't like he will change most guys get a lot of satisfaction from your pleasure quit asking when are you going to come seriously it's now going to take longer because I'm thinking of a response not exactly during but expecting guys to always initiate want your guide to feel desirable don't want your guy to worry that you're just sleeping with him every now and then to shut him up jump his bones I'm so tired of this it's not only the man's job to keep your sex life alive if you can't remember the last time you suggested sex believe me your man does and you're gradually eating away at his self-esteem I realize this isn't a gender specific thing as a guy I've only experienced the issue through that lens if you can't remember the last time you seduced your wife you need to put more effort into the assumption that just because they're there we should be rock hard we need some warming up as well sometimes asking for payment after the sex I went out with a girl from the tinder last week after the date we were making out in my car and she ended giving me a [ __ ] after she asked me how much are you gonna give me I was stunned I studied that I didn't had any money and she replied haha you idiots how much rating one out of ten for the VJ we cracked up afterwards I always struggled to come so any girl that actually accomplishes it has a ten in my book she took it in the mouth and spat it out of the window she took it in the mouth and spat it out of the window who says romance is dead the guy who stepped in it tugging on my deck at near relativistic speeds does not equal a [ __ ] had it happened once and it was very unpleasant the penis is very sensitive especially near the top so just moving your hand a little is enough ever being with a girl that just lays there yeah that when you're giving a [ __ ] you're not milking a cow don't death grip it don't death grip it especially because she will never match my own death grip don't make fun of me for being vanilla while in front of friends and then come home and lay there like an embarrassed fish when I suggest something dirty I feel like I've vilified my partner here to clarify she is incredibly sweet and very affectionate we are both competitive and will often jab at each other in public we've both crossed a line before and have talked about it she had done this a few times before I finally told her it was hurtful to say that especially in front of others the constant yodeling r-iii Co LLL aah almost every [ __ ] I have ever received feels like I'm having my penis yanked out of its socket the correct speed of a [ __ ] is not and never has been 4000 rpm as a female virgin with autism this thread is very educational don't pretend to enjoy it just for our benefit if something isn't working for you communicate sex should be enjoyable for everyone involved and you don't need to appease our ego if you're not enjoying it sexual chemistry doesn't always come right away and the only way it can be built is if partners communicate what they like and don't like to each other don't be afraid to tell us what you want if you don't feel anything in a certain position or angle of insertion let us know and switch it up it has the added benefit of extending our stamina when switching positions positive reinforcement can go a long way easy with the bouncy bounce during reverse cowgirl penis isn't meant to fold in half no enthusiasm also too much enthusiasm and it hits the side wall hard Olli that really put me off sex for a while the main mistake girls make is not listening to my post sex PowerPoint presentation review I spend hours on them animations teeth going up too far when they're on top only to slam back down on your dick when it's out beam there felt that pain think of a [ __ ] like sex yes sometimes it's fun to go hard and not stop until climax but it's also fun going slow playing and touching and rubbing not just sucking non-stop Imoh on the flip side of this giving head for a long time is literally painful it hurts your neck jaw sometimes your tongue and you can't breathe well I'm happy to make the sacrifice but damn not high-fiving back after sex don't expect him to know what you want him to do without any hints or help no hints just tell them what you want failure to provide feedback during intercourse you don't have to scream like a porn star but let me know if what I am doing is working towards getting you off it can be nonverbal also just move my hand if it isn't quite on the right spot squeeze me harder if you want me to go harder set the pace yourself and for God's sake if you are thirty seconds out just whisper at tiny I'm almost there so that we don't come up five hundred feet short of the runway also if you are in a relationship where sex is going to be a regular thing then use the post-coitus pillow talk to say what you liked or didn't all sex should have a brief planning phase in an after-action review or at least that's what the army does when they you thanks for your cervix not doing anything you ever have a girl up on top come down wrong and bend your dick in half because I have if there is a hell I know what pain awaits [Music] [Applause] [Music] you [Music]

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Views: 377,142

Rating: 4.9501829 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, best of reddit, best of askreddit, reddit stories, reddit story, Funny reddit, funny askreddit, funniest posts, top post, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny reddit posts, best askreddit, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2020, Hilarious stories, Amazing stories, Best cringe, Instant karma, best karma, Best posts, viral, meme, memes, funny memes, dank memes

Id: whf8yFawv5Y

Length: 11min 37sec (697 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 06 2020