What are your WORST and WEIRDEST Experiences with Dating apps? - Reddit Podcast

what are your worst and weirdest experiences with dating apps he made me watch his homemade rap videos and tried to like his own Facebook page on my phone met at a coffee shop she's there early I order my drink sit down and she looks at me and this is her first sentence let's cut to the chase I need a father for my four Sons I got up and left just like their actual fathers huh I met a girl for a date who turned out to be much better looking than her photos which is always a nice surprise the date went well just dinner and a walk and we said our goodbyes the next day she invited me out to a friend's birthday party down town as her plus one I wanted to go but I had to work the next day and wanted to be able to drink a little since it was a bunch of people I didn't know she said that's all right you can park at my house and sleep over cha-ching so of course I said yes fast forward to the middle of the party I'm enjoying myself chatting it up with her friends and having a good time and the next thing I know she absolutely loses it and storms out of the leaving me there drunk with her friends I still have no idea why one of them told me she wants you to go after her and I said freak that it's our second date which not a single person blamed me for I stayed at the party and switched to water while I continued talking with her friends that was over a year ago and I still regularly hang out with them they've since stopped talking to her two- date relationship and you got custody good job perfectly nice date 20 minutes into it she says I'm I'll be honest I know what I need in a man and you don't have it at 25 I would have been crushed wondering what it was would have kept me up for days being 35 I thanked her for being blunt and was happy to have an unexpectedly free evening I'll be totally honest at 45 I would have greatly appreciated her honesty and then cried myself to sleep that night regardless of anything else I would have felt like a complete failure but I would have respected her honesty I completely sympathize with both of these viewpoints I guess it depends on how much I like the person and how high my hopes are after a first date in my 30s I'm still not immune to the whole getting star eyed after one date effect not me but my friend went on a really great Tinder date a few months ago she said they really seemed to hit it off they got some margaritas had a fun but very deep conversation about life and other philosophical things and then made out a little bit she didn't hear from him for the rest of the weekend which felt odd because she had such a great feeling about him she usually has a good radar for these things she ended up stalking him on Facebook to see what he was up to he had self-d deleted she was lying about her age and wanted a baby starting immediately okay to elaborate the profile said she was 19 and she was really really freaking hot so I was pretty interested we text and talk on the phone she does cutesy kind of immature stuff but I blow it off thinking she's just awkward at flirting one night we're texting and she starts sending me pictures and these were quite adult in nature so now I'm extremely interested in meeting up up she agrees but on one condition no protection I'm curious about her medical history I try to stay clean despite being a filthy man hassy so I ask when she last got tested oh I haven't been to the doctor in a couple of years she says so I inquire how she has birth control and of course she doesn't turns out she saw that I was a single dad and just assumed I'd be okay with siring another Offspring she was wrong she got extremely upset and originally begged me to reconsider and that she needed a child in her life when I remained unwilling she dropped the bombshell she was 17 and more than willing to go to the cops about the pictures I had on my phone if I didn't give her a baby delete delete delete every freaking thing and block her right there and immediately I don't have Tinder anymore we went out for drinks and then walked around the park and it was an enjoyable date I took her home and parked next to her apartment she said I shouldn't park there because I'll get towed I said I only need 3 minutes to walk you to your door she said seriously you should Park in visitors since you can stay all night and not get towed I responded oh don't worry I only need 3 minutes to walk you to your door I'm not a smart man we went to her place ate some special fungi and then did the deed she was a biter and it was like doing the deed with a giant spider needless to say I didn't have a great time and she kicked me out I sat in my car outside for two long hours tripping on shrooms and trying to come to terms with what felt like dying woke up the next morning with large bite marks never do shrooms with strange tin Kinder girls funny I went on an Okay Cupid date we ate the same special fungi we had a great dinner great combo and made out at his place he pushed for more but I was trying to take a new slow approach 10 minutes later I'm sitting in my car in his apartment parking lot mildly tripping and looking at the pretty lights and thinking about how time works he never called me again all in all not the worst but certainly not the best mushrooms and online dating maybe not met with a girl who ended up being 16 I was 18 at the time she told me how on her last date the guy drove her to a secluded area and told her she had to give him head or he wouldn't drive her home and she asked me not to do that to her I took her home immediately and never met another girl online again it kind of sounds like she's got you beat for the worst Tinder story to be honest my profile picture is a toilet the first time I met a girl we actually talked about toilets for an hour your pick is a toilet and you got a match thanks for rubbing it in not an awful date but after I told him I wasn't interested in pursuing it further he insisted I left my socks at his place and I had to get them because they look like really nice socks and I'm sure you'd want them back this went on for several days obviously it was a weird ploy to get me back to his house I just think he could have thought of something way better I mean it was winter so clearly I put my socks and shoes back on before leaving he showed up with his iPhone on a lanyard around his neck but he introduced me to Reddit so so I guess it went okay and I should really thank him cuz I met my fiance on Reddit and he's in the process of moving halfway around the world for me friend from class matched with my then girlfriend now ex he informed me of the match and proceeded to set up a coffee date instead of him showing up to the DAT I did I had the pleasure of watching my girlfriend freak the F out I mean I hope that she became your ex minutes after this encounter and that you didn't both get stuck in an absolutely poisonous relationship of mistrust and nastiness after after WS I have a doozy so last year after getting out of a horrible sort of relationship I decided to try something casual and use Tinder got lots of responses and everything was going well the dates were mostly lackluster and I figured I was just being too picky so I decided that the next five people to ask me on dates get a yes bad move so the first guy I go on a date with wants me to drive into the city 45 minutes away so we would have more stuff to do annoying but sort of understandable as I'm in a suburb without much exciting things we meet and he looks like his pictures we say hello and he tells me that we're going to go play soccer in the park cool I love sports on the way we start talking and asking questions about each other and I'm getting the vibe that we aren't such a great match I love to travel and he has zero desire he only likes obscure Sports and I love them all but hey I'm here stick with it the entire time he talks about how he makes so much money and how embarrassing it is for his friend to only make 60k a year at his dream job I make half of that I would have left considering the love connection or lack thereof but I figured I'd be polite until after lunch we head out and we arrive dollar Taco which don't get me wrong we don't have to splurge but he looked me up and down and said you've got to earn your meal first and gave me a creepy freaking smile nope I Fain a fake cell phone call and have to leave but he insists on walking me to my car we get there and I try to shrug him off and get the freck out but then it happens he leans in for a kiss but not just any kiss open mouth tongue out and as he leans in his crotch brushes against my leg unfortunately for him the soccer shorts didn't conceal his raging hard eggplant so I did what any caught offg guard girl would do I accidentally laughed in his mouth oops I was too awkward to say anything and just got in the car driving away met up for a coffee after having quite a nice chat over Tinder for a few days he sits down and says hey nice to meet you then continues to pull out his laptop and sit there in complete silence for the next hour I had nothing with me but my phone since I thought coffee date means conversation should have left sooner so I show up at the coffee shop and the B- word was just sitting there with some guy that looked like her boyfriend they just sat there on their laptops and phones while I drank my latte at a nearby table like an idiot I'm seriously considering that this is the actual story I met one absolute Sharma after talking for a few weeks after agreeing to meet at a nearby coffee shop I show up right on time 10 minutes later I get a text from him to come outside seems sketchy but there's people about so why not I stand directly in front and he appears out of nowhere in a hoodie we walk a bit before he asks me to walk down a Darkly lit Street I say I'm uncomfortable and he immediately starts walking away I assume he's joking and call him only to hear him screaming at me on the other end he sends me a text a couple of days later insulting my hair and telling me to suck my big eggplant you n-word BW in all honesty that's so sketchy I'd consider reporting that to the police it really sounds like he's looking for Vic VI IMS and he might have succeeded at some point just for people who are wondering you can call the police on a non-emergency line and tell them the situation it's not about getting the guy arrested he didn't break the law but it's about informing them in case they've had some other attacks or crimes that could be similar in nature my wife once did this a couple of hours after having a similar experience turns out they were looking for a guy who had the mo of the guy she described and they wished she had called them sooner even though technically he didn't do anything illegal to my wife I got matched with a friend of mine I was really interested in and everything was really cool we ended up dating a couple of months after the first night we spent together then she slept with one of my best friends that wasn't really cool if you want to be my lover you got to get with my friends Albert E Roosevelt you can submit your own stories to be featured here on the channel the story submission link is in the description below and if you want to listen to some viby music in the background check out easy mode also link below and subscribe my first date with this guy would have been his cat's funeral luckily I had the common sense not to take it that far I'd matched with a guy and we began to be hitting it off so I gave him my cell number and of course he became increasingly strange he was telling me about his cats and how he was worried about her because she was very ill okay I understand having a sick pet is sad then he began to tell me about their relationship and how she was always there for him yep I'm close to my animals too that's fine but then he began discussing how he doesn't know what to do if his cat passes away and how he might just self delas unless I'd be willing to take his cat's place um no after that I stopped talking to him he started messaging me furiously he told me how his cat had died and he needed me to talk him through this I expressed my condolences and try to shake him off he then proceeds to explain how we should meet up at his cat's funeral I don't respond I didn't intend on becoming a skin suit anytime soon his last text to me was an angry ramble describing in graphic detail how it was to eat his cats ashes he consumed his cat one when I was someone's Tinder nightmare I got way too drunk puked on myself Total Blackout two Tinder nightmare went on the date 5 minutes into the conversation he flips it to September 11th conspiracy theories and doesn't drop it even after I explicitly state that the conversation is inappropriate told him later by text that I didn't think we were compatible QE 2 months of 3:00 a.m. phone calls where he pretends to be a furniture or renovation company that that had problems delivering my order to clarify I asked politely for the subject to be changed before letting him know it was inappropriate for those others who've Express that this doesn't sit well with them I guess it's good we're not dating I think it's a healthy level of perspective to be able to admit that you've both had and been a nightmare date at some point in your life we all go through stuff people there are some fun follow-ons to that Second Story the fact that someone rationalized phoning at 3:00 a.m. pretending to be a furniture company makes me laugh hello this is Ikea speaking first date is going well she's way out of my league and seems very much into me later we're back at my place after dinner and making out on the couch a little we head into the bedroom and the clothes are coming off just as I'm about to slip it in she says wait what you should know I have herpes very funny no I really do and I'm in the middle of an outbreak you're joking I'm not do you need a minute being fairly herpes naive I reply uh yep I go out to my porch and sit down on a chair after a minute I hear her crying in my bedroom she dresses and comes out she asks me if I need some time to think and I tell her that I do we talk a little about other things I drive her home and then spend the weekend completely torn up weighing my options is she worth getting herpes over you've only known her for 6 hours ultimately I go out with her a few more times and it turns out not only does she have the herps but she's bat crap crazy I dump her and she tries to self-d delete another hilarious a story in and of itself and I test negative for herpes back to the drawing board we went on three or four dates I 30-year-old male was starting to get feelings and I liked this girl 25 on our fourth date she asked if I could watch her cat while she was moving Apartments I'm not a fan of cats sorry YouTube but I'm a nice guy and kept the cat in my home office long story short she doesn't answer her phone for over a week and only picks up her cat when I sent a message saying it's going to the local shelter within 24 hours was frecking Tinder matched with this guy we talked for a little bit and we didn't really seem to have anything in common so I didn't plan on going out with him when I finally did decline he threw a fit and pested me promising a lovely night out and to just give him a chance that should have been my first clue now at this point in my life I was admittedly very picky about guys I'd go out with and this guy as well as my roommates encouraged me to just go because maybe I'm missing out on a nice person fine we go to sushi no raction nothing in common horrible conversation every time I tried to lead with a subject he ended it what's your favorite restaurant I don't know do you play any sports no the conversation was a dead end at every turn had a terrible time good sushi though I insisted I pay half the bill and we walked out then he grabbed me by the arm very aggressively insisting we go to Starbucks for coffee I said no thank you I just ate I'm very full I have a test tomorrow whatever but he literally overpowered me and pulled me in in and sat us down at a table now I was freaked out we sat awkwardly silently I asked are you getting coffee or he smiled and said no I don't want any I said okay so why are we here and he slipped his hand between my thighs and credit carded me under the table I was mortified and moved away I said I'm going home now I thank God I drove separately as I got to my car he asked so when can we go out again I almost laughed at him but I was polite because I'm a huge wuss I said said well you're very nice lie but we don't have much in common and I don't really feel the chemistry but thanks for showing me the new sushi restaurant you're a freaking seaword you're just the same as all women I thought you were different you dumb bimbo piece of crap F you I got in my car and left when I got home I had many texts from him and his roommates from date guy I got a lot of Frick you and from the roommates I got a few angry and concerned ones like my roommate came home really upset and teed up what the freak did you do to him you're a beward I literally had no idea people could be like that it really soured my Tinder experience but I had fun laughing at the texts with my roommates we went on three dates the next time she asked to see me I told her I was visiting family and wouldn't be available until the following weekend in that moment she freaked out and sent me a seven-page long text about how I destroyed what could have been a perfect relationship and that she wanted to marry me still if I would just put her first she then left me me a voicemail of her singing You've Got It Bad by Usher while crying and saying she loved me over and over two days later she sent me pictures of her burning a bucket list she had made for us kind of glad I got out of that one unscathed recently met this guy on Tinder and have been on three dates with him first date went really well until his car got towed second date we went to his place got drunk and banged ended up with protection stuck inside me and proceeded to freak the freck out and had to go to ER third date he got me high for the first time got me way too high freaked out again and started pinching his chest really hard and speaking Tai he added me on Facebook after that 8 out of 10 would go on date again I genuinely can't tell if this person is being sarcastic with the racing or not it sounds like you guys had fun together even if all three dates got weird on some level I wonder if these two went on any more dates and what levels of Destruction were Unleashed were you able to speak Tha before getting high I want to know too i' like to learn thae and this sounds like the easiest way I once once on a date with a woman who claimed she hadn't smoked green herb since like the 8th grade because once she started getting into white snow what was the point but now she was smoking to help with the nausea because her shrinks put her on lithium it was a lot of info for the third sentence of a date I met a girl on Tinder I think I won her over with my jokes about loving dirty socks and old Greg we talked for a while and finally decide to go to a lake we both both love nature we go meet hug and sit down on a blanket by the lake we talk for a bit about 10 minutes later I hear a Splat she looks down and laughs I look down at her leg there sitting on her right leg is a big white pebbly bird crap I ask did a bird just crap on your leg she says yes and laughs again before the date we'd promised no bull crap we must be ourselves I don't think before I catch myself wiping the bird crap off her leg with my hand I go to the lake wash my hand off and go and sit back down we have a little laugh talk for another couple of hours and decide to call it a night we go back to our cars and I give her the goodbye I wasn't sure if I should give her a hug or a kiss at this point I didn't want to be invasive as I'm hugging her and thinking about the kiss I start to harden up down there I regret the decision to wear athletic shorts I think I have two options one turn around after the hug and walk back to my car two try to conspicuously tuck the little guy into my waistline of my athletic shorts and go for the kiss I go for option three um things are happening down there I can't keep hugging you we laugh I hug her again and say I'll talk to you soon we promised we'd be honest but on my way back to my car I just keep thinking crap too honest too honest I turn on my car and wait to see if she's going to leave first then she gets out of her car and walks towards me with something in her hands I roll down my window you forgot the banana bread I made for you I couldn't believe I made her come back to the awkwardness to make her give me the banana bread bread she had made for me I take it from her we both still laugh a bit about the boner thing and I put the banana bread on the passenger seat then and this is the part I still can't believe she leans in we kiss a gentle small but amazing kiss she walks back to her car and drives away I do a couple of fist pumps and then drive home on my way home I start to question what the freck just happened so much about myself to doubt but so much greatness to it what just happened I'm driving home and Bohemian rap city comes on I have a Way's World moment I will not let you go fast forward 3 months we're still talking I saw her tonight we went to a creek again we've gotten Poison Ivy from each other been camping shared great music it's all been so great I don't ever want to leave her when we look back she says I won her over when I wiped the bird crap off her leg needless to say that bird was my wingman and yeah I read the title as worst or weirdest experiences but I've only gone on one Tinder date so technically this is my worst Tinder experience it's also my best when you subscribe make sure to hit the Bell to turn on 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Channel: Am I the Genius?

Views: 7,548

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Id: O6MVNYoPKMQ

Length: 20min 52sec (1252 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 27 2024