What Are The Unlikely But Probable Scenarios That Make Your Job Worth It?

I'm a delivery driver and today I had a hot girl answer the door with no pants on what highly unlikely scenario at your job makes you feel like you won the lottery also a delivery guy here got an order once to a North Shore experience turns out to be a strip club walk up to bouncer with the sandwich he sends me upstairs a topless girl walks over and leaves me a generous tip it was my first time ever in a strip club and a stripper tipped me best delivery ever you know that you're winning at life when the stripper stuff singles down your pants me I sent you a comped for that design you wanted boss looks excellent the client loved it - no revisions needed lies I worked at a hippie dippie grocery store for a couple years on my last day near the end of my shift I helped a 60 something-year-old man find enough Quinnie at a feed half of America and he took me out to an expensive bar to meet his old war buddies he got me sourced on top-shelf whiskey and upon dropping me off gave me 20 bucks and said never work at a crappy place like that again librarian here a guy came to my Reference Desk once asking if I could look up his mother's death certificate apparently he had been told for his entire life that his mother died while giving birth to him he never believed it because he had a vague memory of being about three or four years old coming into his mother's bedroom and having his family member tell him to hug his mom and say goodbye in the memory she was very sick everyone in his entire family told him he was crazy for remembering that so I do some research into the local death Records index and I find her death certificate takes me five minutes tops I tell the guy looks like she died on May whatever 1945 he starts crying he says I was born in 1941 this guy has been looked down upon and called crazy for his entire seventy year old life he shakes my hand and gives me some sort of Mexican blessing he is a Hispanic male I work at a make-your-own stir-fry place people gather their food and we cook it on a big grill right in front of you and hand back the cooked food we have a tip jar we split with all the cooks luckily our money checks is not reliant on people generosity otherwise we would all be broke as Frick anyway some guy with a two-foot long beard with suspenders comes up and tips us all and home made their jerky it was delicious I was working at my mom's restaurant back when I was 21 as a waiter one night I get this family that comes in that's really friendly they were my only table as it was near closing time so I had plenty of time to give them some extra attention and to make friends one of the family the daughter obviously was about 19 and was absolutely gorgeous anyways after they get done eating and bullshitting for a while the place was closing up but one of the girls on says to me why don't you come over and join us for some drinks after you're done cleaning up I decide to take her up on the offer what happens from there was basically a long night of drinking and her family basically shoving the daughter towards me sort of a go get him girl type of situation me and her went back to my place that night and had quite a good time we ended up dating for about six months was a pretty good time all around not me but my old roommate it was his first day delivering pizzas and he got to a house where the total was almost exactly $20.00 a girl answered the door and then realized she had no extra money so she walked back inside to ask her friends if they had extra for the tip apparently so she wouldn't stiff him and she walked back out empty-handed with her however her two lady friends supposedly came with her and they asked him if their boobs would do for a tip without waiting for a reply they all three flashed him at once and closed the door this is all according to him but he sounded so dumbfounded while telling the story I actually believed him at any rate I wish that would happen to me got an $80 tip one night at work I work at Olive Gunn I almost cried rent utilities and my sister's birthday was coming up I was able to get her a wonderful present : I tipped a guy at Olive Garden about that much once guy was so awesome never an empty beverage stayed out of our way didn't bother us about dumb crap best waiter I've ever had so he got a 100 percent tip no regrets almost the same story I worked for a satellite company installing receivers Dish Network DirecTV I get to this house and an elderly guy answers he shows me the house as it's a four-room installation the living room has a passed out girl on the couch in underwear and a tank top I'm stunned he just says I don't mind her my daughters like to drink their bartenders to just work around them I go to the next to room to find equally hot chicks in underwear passed out I felt like calling every dude I know just to scream what's happening so I get the installation done and show the guy how to work the remote he says hang on let me wake up my daughters I'm not good with this techno crap I thought the girls would be creeped out that I had been there the entire time they were knocked out even though I was only 20 years old at the time they didn't even put on clothes so the entire tutorial I gave they were half naked it was amazing a kid asks an insightful question and I can answer it and the whole class benefits an entire game as a little league umpire without a single look of disappointment or anger from anyone in the gang feels good man I just like having calls where everybody forgets I'm there I'm an interpreter of a sort and I just like it when nobody remembers I'm and between them and the person they're talking to where I fade into the background so spectacularly my involvement goes completely unnoticed that's what I like that's what I strive for I spend every day hoping I'm a nobody kind of an odd job come to think of it I land the airplane I work at the library and sometimes when we discard books I get to take them home probably the coolest book I got was a Russian atlas from the 50s I'm an RN midwife every day I have a patient get through labor and delivery with a healthy baby at Mon that is a good day best day ever was delivering a baby with a congenital heart defect in gastroschisis and having the child survive labor delivery and his subsequent surgeries we had no prior warnings about either anomaly and so we had to work on the fly not only that but the mother had a class-3 hemorrhage meaning she lost about 35 percent of her blood volume we got her bleeding under control transfused her and she eventually recovered fully that day I felt like I had truly won the lottery fellow delivery driver here it was the middle of the hottest day I have every experienced in my life so of course we had twice as many deliveries as usual I rang the bell to this drug lab house and who comes to the door an 18 - 20 year old nine stroke ten with no top on best day ever I read that as two girls aged 18 - 20 and nine - ten I hit compiled and that crap compiles runs and is exactly what I wrote it to do that means you did something really wrong that you won't notice until later I work in an office it can be boring at times recently Eric from Transworld and this is a recorded line started calling looking for my boss when I tell Eric that my boss is not in he insists on me giving him my boss's cell phone number I don't so pretty much every day I get a call from Eric looking for my boss and letting me know that I have to be honest with him because it's a recorded line after being polite and ninety calls later I answer the office phone hello this is Eric from Transworld this is a recorded call as your boss yeah hi Eric long time my man how's the dog I don't have a dog is your boss there no Eric can I take a message well do you have his cell phone number well since you asked nicely I do we you like it yes okay it is one eight zero zero two four four two six two five aka 1800 big d ck fast forward ten minutes Eric calls back is this red leaf yup that is real cute directing me to a P number mind I tell you that this is a recorded line Eric if you are stupid enough to believe that a cell phone number starts with 1800 then I think you have some other phone calls that you need to be making I direct him to a different number every day and he calls its annoying and funny at the same time basically this is pretty childish and immature but Frick it I am a grown butt man and live some stupid debt collector wants to call and harass my company all day then dang if I am NOT going to have fun while it lasts I work in a fairly upper-class area of Sydney Australia it's right next to Fox Studios and cinema Paris both places where movies are filmed premiered I've served Robin Williams countless pyram stars Anthony the wiggle only yesterday and many others it's a weird job selling things to people who have such a reputation most of them are incredibly down-to-earth I work in hospitality so when someone acts like a respectful human being and not a total C I am absolutely thrilled what a transparent lie no one is ever a decent human being to service industry personnel I had a rather nifty business recovering data from people's crashed computers one customer I was working on paid me about $800 for a whole hour and a half for work that's not all she also gave me some extremely potent marijuana and I got to go swimming in her pool after smoking when I was done the little things in life I work at Walmart once a customer treated me like a human once I asked a Walmart employee a question and got treated like a customer they even walked me to the product I was looking for just kidding this never happened a few friends of mine sell singing Valentines every February last year one delivery was to a college girl who answered the door in a town soaking wet to hear them tell it they sang as slowly as they thought they could get away with as a paramedic any patient that's over 250 pounds and walks I'm an EMT and I'd settle for the patients that actually tell me that they're going to vomit I work at a help desk and it's my job to fix people's computers we have a lot of fun fancy neat interesting looking things on the walls on occasion someone will walk in and when I ask them if they need any help they respond with a simple nope just looking around it is bliss I once joined the computer to the network and it worked if you're just gonna make up a fake story at least try to make it believable to the opie had the same exact thing happen about a week ago a woman in a hotel greeted me with just her head peeking out so I was the delivery guy and came out in only a shirt completely clean-shaven good figure great curves I had to stand out a thank you and try not to say no you just gave me the tip I used to edit Piron ography and one day someone brought in a free box of muffins it was awesome I got a message back after sending a narrow report in Windows XP screenshot or it didn't happen getting all of my work done in under an hour and having absolutely nothing to do for the rest of the day I was a waitress once I had a table full of nice people who genuinely made an effort to talk to me and they tipped me well I work for a catering company last week I did the small party for some good old boys and they hired a stripper so I got to see a hot girl get naked while getting paid I had something like that happen while delivering sushi I was walking into an apartment complex populated by college students and a bunch of girls were getting drunk around a BB Q out front pretty cute bunch out of my league bunch anyway they are giggling and making drunken comments about me my raw fish in slacks I doubled as a bartender and driver so I go in make the delivery and come out a few minutes later and all the are giving me the bad poker face I look at them trying to figure out what is going on when one gestures to her left with her eyes I look over and on the sidewalk is one of the girls naked from the waist down spread-eagle with a butt on the concrete and her junk blowing in the wind she says in a very bad British accent hello this is my and it says hello all the girls start laughing and I just stand there looking at the half-naked giggler taking a few moments to check out her exposed privates when one of her that is says okay show's over you can go now tries to hook up printer without CD installer searches for software online printer setup absolutely amazing this happened to me too I let us search for drivers while I went to look for the CD it was an older printer but my sister's laptop hadn't been used with it before and thwn I look back at my screen to see found drivers I was amazed couple 500 Alba's hits a little too close lifted the whole comb tent off the ground everyone hit dirt mortar knocked a co-worker off an ATV but he wasn't seriously hurt felt like winning the lottery that no one died I used to deliver pizzas I had three incidents one knock on front door no answer go around to the side where there is a large glass patio door lady on the couch spread-eagle going at it with rubber dong she sees me rather coolly covers up comes to the door and we complete a rather normal transaction two old creepy guy comes to the door with his robe open he has a raging hard-on asks me if I want to come in to party I say no we complete a rather normal transaction three young girl 20-23 or so opens the door and she is buck naked and hot as crab nice boobs and a shave downstairs she seems a little nervous I'm stunned and don't know what to do she takes the pizza and turns around to put it on the coffee table as she bends over to put the pizza down I get a real nice shot we complete our transaction but as the door closes I hear a guy's voice bust out with laughter I still FAP to the image of her putting her pie on the table I'm a currently clocking for three months at a law firm and since our Christmas party two weeks ago I've been sleeping with the super ridiculously attractive HR coordinator we freaked on her desk the night of the Christmas party and have found somewhere to do it every lunchtime since really just wanted to share that with someone as I'm having a hard time keeping it a secret at work the office life frickin rules it wasn't actually at my job but it was just after and across the street 19 years old I finish up work and I'm going to meet some friends after so I change in the bathroom I run across the street to buy some booze this girl who looked to be about 17 stroked 18 was with her mom who was buying 15 plus bottles of wine I get in line behind them and as the girl was looking around she notices me she was gorgeous real cute kind of girl who just looked like a total sweetheart so I'm standing in line with a case of beer and a 2/6 of vodka and she notices me I give her a smile and she just seems to melt I'm not Tooting my own horn here I never get hit on or really noticed by girls unless they're drunk so I was shocked she kept looking back at me and smiling her mom is still getting the 15 or so bottle of wine from the one cashier who insisted on getting one at a time her mom finally just goes with him to carry more as soon as she's gone I say something stupid can't even remember exactly what having a party probably or something equally as intrusive she giggles and says yes asks if I'm doing the same and I say yes she takes the case of beer from my hand to inspect it and assures me it's a good beer then hints to keep quiet to her mom about it we introduced ourselves and keep talking about various drinks and stupid decisions we made she's right next to me now she awkwardly asks me if she gave me money could I buy her a Mickey of something I tell her I'll just get it for her because I am a total sucker after her mom comes back she finishes paying and hauling all the wine out to her car I can't see the parking lot but I figured they were gone because I didn't think this girl was going to say wait that guy is buying me alcohol I pay and head out and she's sitting on my car she says so where are we going she notices I'm confused so she says she told her mom she was meeting friends I took her to hang out with my friends he ended up staying the night at my house then we hung out a whole bunch after that when people put their shopping carts back when people aren't picky about how they want their groceries packs I understand cold with cold don't damage your ugly bananas and you're already broken eggs but don't ask care me to bag your crap color Cordy anted oh and say thanks to Emmy not just the cashier I bagged your freakin groceries udong bulb dyma bagger appropriate username detected working as a mechanical bull operator at a country bar certainly has its perks I've been doing it for about two months now so far a couple perks I've noticed some guy slipped me a $100 to knock his boss off the bull girl's boobs coming out due to excessive bucking getting hit on all night getting a few numbers and free alcohol I work as a taxi driver in Reno Nevada and we always hope for a fare out to one of Nevada's many brothels it's a great deal for us as it's usually $100 roundtrip plus we also earn 20 percent of what the customers spend and we get a free meal while we watch the girls dance but but I felt like I hit the jackpot when a customer of mine pulled out $200 handed it to a girl and told her to take care of me we ended up eating pizza and splitting the money while he spent $1,500 on another girl earning me an additional $300 I was brought in late as a co-founder of a start-up in Silicon Valley in 1998 founded originally by a couple of engineers from India I was a marketing MBA but knew Photoshop and HTML we were about to run out of seed capital and were having problems with our dev team in India launching our alpha when the CEO said one day we need somebody to go led the team in India everyone just looked at me and I did one of those things where you look behind yourself to see the person they must be talking about a few days later I was on a plane headed for Hyderabad with absolutely no plan and no idea what the heck I was doing it was an amazing experience we launched on time and use the Alpha as a proof of concept to raise twenty million dollars of VC before flaming out in the dot-com bust but the experience made it easy to get all sorts of jobs after that I didn't see any boobs though I was doing a prairie restoration cutting out the trees this past spring and tantor Pope walked over to the nearby woods did my business turned around and found five huge morel mushrooms I think it was the trees attempt at bribing you to let em survive I started working on a coffee plantation this year in Southeast Asia at first it sucked with boiled rice every mealtime lack of clean washing water lack of proper English conversation and three hours of electricity at night but then I discovered being the only 20 year old white English boy for hundreds of miles pretty much makes you the hottest bachelor in town my job became pretty freakin awesome if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now [Music]

Channel: AskReddit Is Fun

Views: 10,897

Rating: 4.9117646 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, emkay, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, askreddit school, r/askreddit how to, impossible, job stories, work stories, delivery, dream job, best job

Id: AmrRUQQfNS0

Length: 21min 23sec (1283 seconds)

Published: Fri May 08 2020