GUILLERMO, HOW ARE YOU DOING,
HOW ARE YOU FEELING, TELL US EVERYTHING, ARE YOU MORE IN LOVE
THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED? >> WOW, YEAH, SPEECHLESS, JUST,
YOU KNOW, SHE IS THE GREATEST THING. JUST THE SWEETEST, MOST
CRYINGEST-- NO, NOT AT ALL. SHE IS A REALLY EASY BABY, HAVE
I COME TO KNOW. >>
>> James: THAT'S SO GREAT. >> I LOVE HER SO MUCH. >> James: WE'RE SO HAPPY FOR
YOU, WE REALLY, REALLY ARE, WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR ALL THREE OF
YOU. >> THANK YOU. >> James: IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL
ALTHOUGH I KNOW YOU ARE SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE AND YOU ARE
HERE RIHT NOW BUT I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO SEND A SPECIAL MESSAGE
TO YOU WHEN THE SHOW AIRS, OKAY. HI GUILLERMO, IT'S
TWELVE-THIRTY-SEVEN IN THE MORNING AND YOU'RE UP WATCHING
THIS SHOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME, BECAUSE YOUR NEW DAUGHTER WON'T
STOP CRYING, HANG IN THERE BUDDY, LOVE YOU. YOU CAN WATCH THAT TONIGHT. >> THANK YOU. >> MY IN-LAWS WILL TELL ME ABOUT
IT. >> James: THAT'S RIGHT, THEY
DO, DON'T THEY. THAT IS WHERE YOU FIND OUT IF
YOU ARE ON THE SHOW OR NOT. FROM YOUR INLAWS. HOW GREAT IS IT TO HAVE GE AIR
MOW BACK ON THE DRUMSK BAND T IS JUST SENSATIONAL. >> Reggie: GROOVY, ALWAYS
GROOVY. >> James: ABSOLUTELY
SENSATIONAL. TIM, ARE YOU WEARING-- WHAT ARE
YOU-- I. >> I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS JUST ON
MY DOOR WHEN I GOT HERE. >> James: STAND UP, LET'S SEE
IT. >> DOORROBE. >> James: THAT WAS HANGING ON
YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU GOT THERE AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO QUESTION
WHETHER YOU SHOULD WEAR IT LOOK, I LIKE IT. >> YEAH, I PEAN I LIKE IT TOO. >> James: IT'S GREAT, AN WHEN
THE SHOW IS FINISHED, HANG AROUND AND FIX ANYTHING TAT
NIEDS FIXED AROUND THE BUILDING. ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY FINE. LOOK AT THAT. NEWBORN BABY, WE ARE SO HAPPY
FOR YOU, G, WE REALLY ARE, IT IS GORGEOUS AND GLORIOUS. I WONDER WHO IS THE NEXT PERSON
ON THE "LATE, LATE SHOW" STAFF WHO IS GOING TO HAVE A BABY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK. >> DIANA ANY MINUTE. >> James. >> CHRISTINA. >> James: NOT PEOPLE WHO WE
KNOW ARE ALREADY PREGNANT. CHRISTINA IS ON MA TERNITY
LEAVE, JOANNA NEXT WEEK. I'M TALKING WHO HERE-- YOU
THINK, REG. >> YEAH, ROB. >> James: I THOUGHT WERE YOU
SAYING YOU. >> I NOMINATE ROB CRABBE FOR
NEXT CHILD. >> James: YOU THINK ROB, YOU
RECKON. >> BE A BIG SURPRISE TO MY WIFE
AT THIS POINT. >> James: WE DIDN'T SAY YOU
WERE WANTING TO HAVE A CHILD-- WE NEVER SAID IT WAS
GOING TO BE SARAHS. >> GOOD POINT, GOOD POINT. >> James: YOU KNOW, I THINK
WHO IT COULD BE? YEP. TIM'S UP, BABY. >> YOU KNOW WHO IS IT IS GOING
TO BE. >> James: WHO IS IT GOING TO
BE. >> PATTI LUPONE ABOUT EIGHT AND
A HALF MONTHS FROM NOW. >> James: YES, I THINK ARE YOU
RIGHT, I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, DAIFER? DAVE? >> THERE IS A FIRST TIME FOR
EVERYTHING. (LAUGHTER). >> James: CARRY ON THE
BROADWAY LEGACY. WELL, SHE'S HERE TONIGHT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. >> James: WELL, IT'S THAT TIME
AGAIN. THE NATION HAS BEEN WAITING. IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS. THE WHITE HOUSE HELD A VIRTUAL
SUMMIT TODAY, WITH PRESIDENT BIDEN MEETING WITH C.E.O.s FROM
THE AUTO, TECH, BIO-TECH, AND CONSUMER ELECTRONICS INDUSTRIES. THE MEETING GOT OFF TO A ROUGH
START. BIDEN COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO
TURN OFF HIS POTATO FILTER, THE SUMMIT WAS CALLED TO DISCUSS
A SEVERE SHORTAGE OF SEMICONDUCTORS. THANK GOD THAT RENOWNED TECH
EXPERT JOE BIDEN WAS ABLE TO STEP IN. HE WAS LIKE, OK, FELLAS. IS THERE A WAY WE COULD REPLACE
THE COMPUTER CHIPS WITH SOME SORT OF PULLEY SYSTEM? BUT IT'S TRUE, THERE'S CURRENTLY
A HUGE SHORTAGE OF SEMICONDUCTOR CHIPS -- THAT ALL STARTED WHEN
PEOPLE BOUGHT TONS OF LAPTOPS AND OTHER ELECTRONICS TO USE AT
HOME DURING THE SHUTDOWN. NOW, WHERE I'M FROM WE ACTUALLY
CALL THEM SEMICONDUCTOR CRISPS. THE SHORTAGE IS ESPECIALLY BAD
FOR AUTO MANUFACTURERS, WHO HAVE LOST BILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND
HAVE HAD TO SHUT DOWN FACTORIES. THEY USE SEMICONDUCTORS FOR
ESSENTIAL FEATURES LIKE THAT BLUETOOTH CAPABILITY IN YOUR
CAR, THAT SO RARELY WORKS. YOUR BLUETOOTH WORK IN YOUR CAR,
OF COURSE IT DOES, YOUR CAR IS AMAZING. >> YOU KNOW, EVEN PORSCHE CAN'T
GET YOUR STUFF TOGETHER. IT IS LIKE, IT IS NOT CONNECTED. LET ME TURN IT OFF, LET ME TURN
IT ON, IT IS NOT CONNECTED. >> James: THE PHRASE YOU CAN
HEAR ME NOW STRKS THE STUPIDEST PHRASE WE AS A SOCIETY HAVE
ADOPTED. BECAUSE YOU JUST DON'T NEED THE
WORD "NOW." YOU CAN HEAR ME? YOU CAN HEAR ME NOW? WHAT ABOUT NOW? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? >> CAN YOU HEAR ME FIVE MINUTES
AGO, YOU CAN HEAR ME FIVE MINUTES AGO, WHAT ABOUT NOW. >> James: WHAT ABOUT NOW, CAN
YOU HEAR ME NOW, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? >> HOLD ON, LET ME GET OUT OF
THIS ELEVATOR, 16 STORIES UNDER THE GROUND AND CALL YOU BACK. >> James: DO YOU EVER GET IN
THE ELEVATOR HERE, MID PHONE CALL AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHEN
IT IS GOING TO CUT OUT? >> YES. >> James: SO I ALWAYS TRY TO
TALK JUST BEFORE THAT BIT AND GI YEAH, GO ON. AND YOU JUST MISS, YOU MISS
ABOUT FIVE SECONDS OF THE CONVERSATION. AND IT'S FINE. >> Reggie: YEAH. >> THAT IS HOW YOU ENDED UP
DOING CATS, RIGHT. >> James: IN THAT MOMENT, IN
THAT MOMENT. ALL I HEARD WAS JUDI DENCH, IAN
McKELLAN, AND WHAT I MISSED WAS YOU ARE GOING TO BE DRESSED
LIKE A CAT. ARE YOU GOING TO BE DRESSED LIKE
A CAT. YOU ARE GOING TO DANCE AROUND
LOOKING LIKE A-- AND IDRIS ELBA, TAYLOR SWIFT, AND I'M LIKE YEAH,
I'M IN, I'LL DO IT DAMN THAT ELEVATOR. >> OH MAN. AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS? IN HONOR OF NATIONAL PET DAY
YESTERDAY, FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN TWEETED THIS IN HONOR OF THE
BIDENS' GERMAN SHEPHERDS, CHAMP AND MAJOR. SHE SAID, LOVE THESE TWO. IT MAKES SENSE TO TWEET
SOMETHING LIKE THIS -- AS WE ALL KNOW, DOGS COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND
SOCIAL MEDIA. AND THIS IS NICE, ALSO IN HONOR
OF NATIONAL PET DAY, JILL BIDEN GAVE MAJOR HIS FAVORITE FOOD, A
POUND OF HUMAN FLESH. IAN, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF
YOU HAD SOME DOG TRAINING EXPERIENCE. WHAT'S THE KEY TO WHIPPING MAJOR
INTO SHAPE? WITHIN I HAVE ACTUALLY ALWAYS
BEEN A CAT PERSON. AND WHAT I FOUND WORKS WITH THEM
IS NOTHING. >> James: YEAH. I ALWAYS TAKE A CAT OVER A DOG. EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. >> ALL THE TIME, YEAH. >> James: CUZ I LIKE AN ANIMAL
THAT COMES INTO YOUR HOUSE, CHECKS IT OUT, GOES YEAH, THIS
IS NICE. GOING TO NEED MY OWN DOOR. I LIKE IT I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE,
I WILL NEED MY OWN DOOR. AND THEN, AND THEN I WILL NEED A
LITTLE TRAY, SOME PEBBLES IN, THAT IS WHERE I WILL TAKE A
[BLEEP], AND THEN, AND THE FOOD WILL BE NEXT TO THAT GRATE,
OKAY. DOGS, FOLLOW YOU AROUND ALL DAY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT? YOU CAN COME WITH ME. HANG ON TO ME IF WE'RE OUT
THERE, OKAY. I WILL LET YOU KNOW IF I WANT TO
JUST HAVE A RUN BUT I LIKE IT WHEN YOU TUG. AND IF I GO OUT WITH YOU. >> IF YOU SAY THROW A TENNIS
BALL A DOG WILL PRETEND TO GET IT, IF YOU THROW A TENNIS BALL
WITH A CAT, IT WILL CUT YOUR-- . >> James: YOU ARE RIGHT, IF
YOU DO IT WITH A CAT THEY WILL JUST GO SHALL-- I'M IN. JUST GO SHALL-- I'M IN. AND DID YOU SEE, THIS THE
UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY SENT OUT A BUNCH OF ACCEPTANCE EMAILS TO
INCOMING FRESHING MRN THE OTHER DAY. THE ONLY PROBLEM, BEING THE
EMAILS WERE SENT OUT BUSINESS MISTAKE TO 500,000 STUDENTS
THINK PLAIMED IT ON A DPEUTER. SOME STUDENTS WHO WERE ACCEPTED
SAY THEY NEVER APPLIED TO THE PROGRAM, VISITED OR EVEN WENT ON
ITS WEBSITE, WHICH IS CRAZY, THE ONLY SCHOOL WHERE YOU ARE
ALLOWED TO GET IN AFTER DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS USC. IMAGINE NEVER A PLIING TO THE
UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY, GETTING ACCEPTED AND THEN EVEN WORSE,
GETTING REJECTED. BASICALLY YOU ARE WALKING DOWN
THE STREET AND SOMEONE COMES UP TO YOU AND GOES I WILL NOT MARRY
YOU. THIS FALL I WOULD LIKE ME AND
YOU GO BACK TO FALL, WE GET A DORM ROOM TOGETHER, WHAT DO YOU
THINK, YOU INTO THAT. >> ABSOLUTELY, YEAH, I'VE GOT
ALL THE HOODIES, BASKETBALL SHORT COMBOS STILL SAVED IN A
BOX SOMEWHERE. >> James: YEAH. SHOULD WE DO THAT. >> I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT,
YEAH. >> James: WHAT SHOULD WE
STUDY. >> COMMUNICATIONS. >> James: EXACTLY. NOONE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS. >> NOTHING. >> 100 PERCENT. >> James: WE JUST SHOW UP,
COMMUNICATE, GONE. >> AND THEN STRAIGHT TO THE
CFETERIA. >> James: DONE. OR YOU KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO,
RELIGIOUS STUDIES, NO RIGHT OR WRONG, NO WRITE RIGHT OR WRONG,
JUST THAT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND I BELIEVE DIFFERENTLY. >> WHEN JONAH GOT SWALLOWED BY
THE WHALE, I THINK WHAT THEY WERE SAYING WAS THE WHALE WAS
THE INTERNET-- INTERNET. >> James: AND WILL YOU GO I
DISAGREE. I DISAGREE. FINE, DOESN'T MATTER. >> THE INTERNET WASN'T AROUND
BACK THEN, GOD KNEW ABOUT IT. >> James: WASN'T T HOW DO YOU
KNOW. >> GOD HAD THE INTERNET. YOU PAUSE, I'M OVER MY-- HERE, I
DON'T-- . >> James: I HAVE NEVER HEARD
THAT, I NEVER HEARD THE PHRASE I'M OVER MY SHEEZ HERE. AND
AND FINALLY, TODAY WAS NATIONAL GRILLED CHEESE DAY. AND TO CELEBRATE, KRAFT GAVE
AWAY INCENSE THAT SMELLS LIKE YOU GUESSED IT, GRILLED CHEESE. SO IF I UNDERSTAND THIS
CORRECTLY, IT'S THE SAME EFFECT AS COOKING A BUNCH OF GRILLED
CHEESE SANDWICHES, WITHOUT THE PART WHERE YOU GET TO EAT A
BUNCH OF GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES? GRILLED CHEESE INCENSE. AND IF YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT THIS
IT WILL GO GREAT WITH YOUR TACO IS BAE THROW PILLOW, YOU BASIC
BITCH. KRAFT IS CALLING THIS THE
GRILLED CHEESE-CENSE, BECAUSE MY WIFE LEFT ME, I HAVE
NOTHING, AND AM NOW LIVING IN MY PARENTS' BASEMENT FOR A WHILE
UNTIL THINGS START TO MAKE A LITTLE MORE-CENSE WAS A BIT TOO
LONG.