We could have told you this day one: Gutfeld

happy tuesday america and i mean all of you except for fox and friends do you see i want my bathrobe back and my luther vandross cds so last week the biden administration finally admitted the president was being a total when he accused border patrol agents of whipping illegal immigrants those were the actual words totaled the head of the border patrol announcing the results of their absurd months-long investigation into an incident that both the dems and the media used to demonize innocent agents after an extensive review the us attorney issued their decision not to prosecute the case opr found no evidence border patrol agents involved in this incident struck any person with their reigns intentionally or otherwise thanks for the heads up chris but we could have told you that on day one those claims were already debunked by everyone including the guy who took the damn pictures what a waste of taxpayer money and all cover their asses but i got two words for you instant replay they use it in sports to clear up a questionable call and this one wasn't even questionable even the migrants said don't you dopes know how horses work but a second look should have cleared up any confusion immediately like an nfl ref upon further review the reigns of the officers never made contact with the illegal immigrants therefore there is no unnecessary roughness call please reset the clock to 2016. so oh yeah but instead the dumbest president in history smeared american citizens who were just doing the job he refused to do while he sat in a pool of his own ignorance among other fluids to see people treat it like they did horses barely running them over people being strapped it's outrageous i promise you those people will pay and as we all know it also evoked images of some of the worst moments of our history where that kind of behavior has been used against the indigenous people of our country has been used against african-americans during times of slavery saw horrifying images that do not reflect who we are who we aspire to be or the integrity and values of our truly heroic personnel in the department of homeland security the horrific video of the cbp officers on horse on horses using brutal and inappropriate measures against innocent people once again all of these are wrong but more important none of them apologized or even owned up to it of course kamala still hasn't apologized for her tweet defending race hoaxer justice millet and joe never apologized for the tweet he tried to send from his toaster oven they're just gonna gonna assume you're too distracted panicking you with the latest monkey pox baboon aroids or chymphyzima sounds like a good drink they think they won't be held accountable and the sad thing is they're right and they're laughing at us you can hear kamala's cackle either that or somebody punched a hyena so they deserve no mercy tonight and here's why joe biden publicly condemned an american without any due process something no president should ever do kamala compared border patrol agents to slave owners how is that not hate speech how does that not put a target on their backs sorry lady if there's anyone with a link to slave owners it's someone named kamala harris and i'm just quoting her dad professor donald harris who wrote quote my roots go back within my lifetime to paternal grandmother miss christie descendant of hamilton brown who was on record as plantation and slave owner of brownstown which is the town of jamaica who knows if that's true really but if it is that would make kamala the first vp to owe reparations to herself she could spend the money on a public speaking class of course alejandro mayorkas is an incompetent clown this guy looks like he should be assembling christmas toys in the north pole not being char being in charge of immigration every time i see him i want to pull his ears like that weird rubber doll [Applause] by the way that doll has a name it's panic pete which i guess beats plato pete that's a reference to a different story meanwhile four agents are still to be punished for using bad language and unnecessary force something i'm sure hunter does every time he's with a hooker sorry these guys are border patrol agents doing a brutal job they aren't teachers at a finishing school in switzerland but we see the media and dem's true colors no matter the crisis they only care when they can find an american villain 50-plus migrants paris stacked in the back of a truck big deal they say but can you imagine if that happened under trump's watch the media would have had him pegged as the driver but today you won't hear biden say i promise you those people will pay unless he's advising hunter on how to cut a deal with a gas company thank god we have a doctor nearby diversity of this community as distinct as the bogotas of the bronx as beautiful as the blossoms of miami and as unique as the breakfast tacos here in san antonio [Applause] looks like looks like joe is rubbing off on the doctor and not in the usual way you think a real-life medical expert would know the difference between people and inanimate things but i guess when you're married to joe it's hard to tell i wonder joe what do you think of dr jill's comments hey hey hey look look leave my wife alone she's a doctor all right she'll get you and look she's right i've been to those bogadas they're full of breakfast tacos and and you know jill got that from me that's my nickname for the hispanic people i say hey come here my little breakfast taco let me take a whiff of you oh oh i got sour cream on my nose you know they like it they like it uh you know all the minorities like me i don't care who you are the latinx people the malcolm x people they all like me it's good it's good to laugh but the treatment of those agents isn't funny at all it's positively orwellian were living in 1984. and no wonder joe loves that year it's when he turns 60. now the agents could be suspended for 14 days so you want a dystopian society how about one that says you're innocent of a crime but we're going to punish you anyway sorry this is america not a porn flick it's like that old line from the head of stalin's secret police show me the man and i'll show you the crime i'd do that with this guy but we'd be here till 2040. but all this stuff is happening right now right before your eyes they're not even hiding it because they know they don't have to not with today's emasculated media if we had a real press you could not do this real journalists would know those were reigns on those horses and not whips and anyone saying otherwise was a horse's ass let's welcome tonight's guests jeso brainy zombie stalker new york post business reporter lydia moynihan [Applause] well you can't put him in a box unlike most of his belongings actor writer and divorced comedian jamie lisa well she'll steal your heart and then your wallet boxes contributor cat tim and good luck throwing him under the bus my massive sidekick in the nwa world television champion tyrus wyden jill tyrus good to see you by the way and i love the hat man of a lot of hats around here so i started changing it up yeah it's a nice hat yeah it's a really nice hat thank you you can't have it's too big for you i could it would be a boat for you yeah i could turn it upside down and go snowboarding yeah was kind of what i just sledding would have been a better tournament or boating like i said before you went there but it's cool you were hot do your thing no um i didn't hear it anyway bogatas have you been to a bogata no no but i have been to speeches by out of touch old white women before and you know what i think this is the result i'm gonna take a little bit of the heat off of the administration this is what happened when you don't have a good transition of power i think what happened was is like i think the trump administration played some pranks on them i think they took all the chords for these xerox machines and left with them so nobody reads anything they all just wing it and this is the entire administration has been winging it they don't know what really happened at the border because no one watched the video right they just told each other about it so whenever they talk they don't know the truth they just and then biden gets up there and bless his little heart he couldn't even get horses out yeah he was like you're going to ride this and miss this pur mr ed great show love it like that's literally because nobody because the administration took the chords and i think you should have played the rest of her speech because it wasn't she just didn't call latin americans breakfast tacos like she kept going she was like and all my african-american ribs and my in my white bags of oatmeal and you know we're all favorite fattening food none of us are anything exciting like like no one got to be celery or something healthy we were all like what would i be what would you be yes if i were a food if you were a food yes you'd be a pomegranate why it's little it's tiny and as soon as it gets close to your mouth you want to spit it out that was pretty quick mm-hmm pretty quick a lot of hats yeah you do [Laughter] you know jamie it's good to see you you look fit good to see you scooter that's so weird tyra said that an egg roll cut me off on the way here [Applause] [Laughter] [Music] no he deserves it he deserves it he deserves it i don't care how did you get divorced again this was fun right this is a really fun speech by joe who are their speech writers each other what are they doing do you is it is it true i mean do you think she mispronounced it because of being out of touch like we all go to bode is it because things are delivered and the i wish she had gone on and on though like man we went to the bogeta we uh then we went home and joe mewed the law one and i did the lahandra like i don't think they do regular people stuff they don't know what to say but how weird is it that they just pretended the video was different than it was yeah incredible like we could we could see i always feel bad when i see like a policeman on a horse i always wonder does that mean like you did something wrong do you know like if you're a really good copter think oh here's a car and a gun and then if you're not that good they're like oh here's a horse in the whip and if you really suck they're like here's a bicycle and a flashlight okay put all your stuff in the basket i would rather i would take the desk job over the horse job right in a second yeah because you know desk doesn't like you know drop the big load yeah he so you weren't supposed to make any jokes about that gut felt yeah but you know they didn't they didn't catch me there's usually there's an alarm system about poop jokes now and they did i float i'm right under the radar lydia you are a reporter let's start with that i like to think of myself as such yeah yes so in your line of business you would issue a correction why can't any of these people admit and they were wrong and issue their own humanitarian correction if they will have they ever admitted they're wrong i mean i think this is peak 2022 that somebody's cancelled not for something that they did but for something that fits someone else's agenda and i think it's pretty clear the agenda is that joe biden is not doing well with hispanic voters he thought this was the perfect situation to frame himself as the savior and the facts didn't line up but you know that was then and this is now we've moved on i think my favorite thing from this whole saga though is the national association for hispanic journalists issued a statement condemning jill biden's remarks and they ended it with we are not tacos yes there you have it we are not tacos but cat what if i identify it as a top you pro you try you probably will i will i have a hard shell but inside there's so many spicy ingredients all right a lot of beef all right all right no that little boguta blossom breakfast taco mash-up was one of like the derangest attempts at a compliment i've ever heard and like most of the ones that i get begin with if i were 50 years younger well you're not so you probably shouldn't type those next seven paragraphs but does your wife know you're on here um but it also proves that in reality the bidens are not as woke as they pretend that they are and they just latch onto certain buzz words they were like oh this is called le tinx inclusion but there's an x for the s perfect i'm gonna go there and say that i love all my little tacos like if they actually were paying attention to these things and not just listening to what other people are telling them to say and do then there would not have been this very strange i don't know error i don't know what they were trying to do so i'll just say strange thing yeah you know i i do think that any time you try to kowtow to diversity it's embarrassing because you're pointing you're actually doing exactly the opposite of what you're supposed to go yes i see you're different you're not supposed to do that you're not supposed to say that oh i get it you're different that's why it doesn't work it makes everybody uncomfortable all right we got to move on up next put up your dukes because here come the news hey sean hannity here hey click here to subscribe to fox news youtube page and catch our hottest interviews and most compelling analysis you will not get it anywhere else

Channel: Fox News

Views: 788,631

Keywords: fnc, fox news, fox news channel, fox news gutfeld show, fox news media, fox news network, fox news voices, greg gutfeld, greg gutfeld reacts, greg gutfled monologue, gutfeld, gutfeld monologue, gutfeld monologue tonight, gutfeld panel, gutfeld!, gutfeld! tonight, kat timpf, kat timpf gutfeld, tyrus, tyrus gutfeld, tyrus murdoch

Id: MOtDc130xXU

Length: 16min 21sec (981 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 12 2022