>> WONDERFUL PEOPLE. HAPPY MONDAY, EVERYONE. I AM BACK FROM A LONG VACATION. YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE STITCHES. BUT I LOOKED PRETTY GREAT. THIS IS HOW I LOOKED BEFORE I LEFT. THE DOCTORS REALLY PERFORMED MIRACLES VERY I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL THE GUEST HOST WHO DI A GREAT JOB WHILE I WAS GONE. >> DO NOT ADJUST YOUR TELEVISIO SCREEN, GREG DID NOT GET MORE RIDICULOUSLY GOOD-LOOKING. WE HAVE THIS STAGE CREW REMOVE THE SIPPY CUP BECAUSE I DON'T SPILL OR BE LIKE PRESIDENT BIDE WITHOUT. >> IT'S A BOOK THAT NO ONE IS BUYING, CLICK THE PLUS PARETSKY IT'S THE. >> THEIR BILL WAS SET AT $0 WHICH IS THE SAME VALUE AS GREG'S AUTOGRAPH. NICE PENMANSHIP. >> SURE, THE READINGS PLUNGED, IT WAS AN EMBARRASSING DISASTER AND WE ENDED UP HAVING TO LET G ALL OF THEM. AT LEAST THEY THOUGHT OF DOING THE WHOLE SURE SHIRTLESS. BOY DID I MISS YOU GUYS. WHAT I DIDN'T MISS WAS THE NEWS. NOTHING CALMS YOUR SENSES LIKE TOTAL NEWS BLACKOUT RATE IT BEATS AN ALCOHOLIC BLACKOUT, RIGHT, JB? >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. IN FACT, I REALIZED WHEN YOU DON'T LOOK AT THE NEWS IT'S LIK ONE OF THOSE I EXAM IT ONLY MATTERS IF YOU'RE TOLD TO LOOK AT IT. WHEN THERE IS NO NEWS, YOU FIND THE BEST REPLACEMENT IS HYSTERI FROM THOSE MISERABLE WRETCHES. SECRETARY OF STATE HE TOLD THE GUARDIAN THAT IF REPUBLICANS WIN , THE COUNTRY COULD LOSE THE RIGHT TO VOTE IN LESS THAN THRE MONTHS. THAT'S NOT INSANE. SO DID SHE TELL THE GUARDIAN, THE NEWSPAPER, OR HER OWN PERSONAL LEGAL GUARDIAN WHO KEP HER FROM HER OWN HAIR. THAT IS THE NEWS, WHEN THERE ISN'T ANY YOU READ FOR THE UNHINGED STAR SPIRIT. >> ART OUR DEMOCRACY HAS BEEN PUT IN PERIL. THERE ARE SEVERAL CRIMES HERE THAT COULD HAVE BEEN COMMITTED INCLUDING OBSTRUCTION. >> IF ANY MEMBER OF THE INTELLIGENCE AGENCY HAD TAKEN THESE DOCUMENTS OUT, THEY WOULD BE IN JAIL. >> ED TEXT LEVEL LEGAL EXPERT ANALYSIS OF THE AFFIDAVIT IS WH ISN'T HE IN JAIL? PRESIDENT STICKY FINGERS ALREAD STOLE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS, TOP-SECRET DOCUMENTS. >> I LOVE HIM. MAINLY BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE MY DAD'S SHAVING BRUSH. THAT'S A COMPLIMENT. ON CRAZY CABLE, TO MAINTAIN EYEBALLS, EVE GOT TO GET EVEN CRAZIER. ELAINE SEEN THERE IMPERSONATING A DANDELION. HE HAS CRACKED THE CODE OF CABL TELEVISION, SAY THE MOST ABSURD THING AND IT NEVER HAS TO COME TRUE BECAUSE NO ONE IS KEEPING SCORE. IT'S NOT NEWS IT SIMPLY STUFFIN COINS INTO THE TWITTER SLOT MACHINE. EXCEPT THE MATTER HOW DUMB YOUR IDEAS ARE COMING YOU NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR IT BECAUSE IT'S LIKE TAKING OUT A STUDENT LOAN. JUST LIKE THE FAMILY PHOTOS ON MY DESK, IT'S NOT REAL. AND YOU NOTICE THAT WHEN SOMETHING REAL COMES ALONG LIKE THIS, THE WIDELY RESPECTED STATISTICIAN CLAIMS LIBERAL PUBLIC HEALTH APPROVAL OF ITS COVID 19 VACCINE UNTIL AFTER TH 2020 ELECTION THUS DENYING TRUM A WIN BEFORE VOTERS HEADED TO THE POOL. CALLING THEM PUBLIC HEALTH ELIT IS LIKE CALLING A TAPEWORM OUT WEIGHT LOSS CONSULTANT. WHATEVER YOU THINK ABOUT THE VACCINES, HE HAS PEOPLE THAT WH IS WORSE THAN HITLER? WHEN WERE SET READY TO SACRIFIC LIVES TO KEEP TRUMP FROM LOOKIN GOOD. THEY WANTED TO CALL HIM A KILLER , IF THAT'S NOT THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE JUSTIN TRUDEAU. LOOK, SILVER IS NO TEMP TRUMP FAN, BUT HE POINTS OUT THAT HIS ACTIONS LIKELY SAVED HUNDREDS O THOUSANDS OF LIVES FOR IT IF THOSE PEOPLE'S NAMES WOULD STIL HAVE PROBABLY ENDED UP ON THE DEMS VOTING RULES. BUT AGAIN, IF YOU BELIEVE TRUMP IS HITLER, WHAT IS A FEW THOUSAND DEATHS TO KEEP THEM FROM KILLING MILLIONS EVEN THOUGH TRUMP KEPT US AWAY FROM WHERE IS THE WAY JOE KEEPS US AWAY FROM COMPLETE SENTENCES. MAY BE IT'S UNPROVEN, BUT YOU'R TALKING ABOUT THE SAME PEOPLE WHO SUPPRESS THE LAPTOP STORY T WIN AN ELECTION, SO WHY WOULDN' THEY DO THAT HERE. MEANWHILE THEY SQUEEZE THE REMAINING DROPS OF JUICE FROM THE MAR-A-LAGO RAID. WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE NUCLEAR CODES ANYWAY? MAYBE THEY ARE UNDER THE BED WITH A CUP FILMED. THAT'S MOST ACTION JIMMY FALLON SAW IN YEARS. THAT WAS A NEEDLESS CRACK GREAT VIDEOS OF A CRACKED OUT HUNTER AND HIS PLAYING HIDE THE HARD DRIVE, NO STORY THERE UNTIL MONTHS OR YEARS AFTER THE ELECTION. THEN YOU GET THE CONFESSION FRO A BATTERY-POWERED OBSTACLE ABOU SOMETHING WE KNEW ALL ALONG GREAT THEY SEE MY POINT, AMPLIF THE STORIES LIKE THEIR FORMER CLINTON ASSOCIATES. OR RATHER, AMPLIFY STORIES THAT ARE EASY TO SPECULATE ON LIKE DOCUMENTS OR RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION OR KAT'S MARRIAGE . I KNOW WHEN I'M ON VACATION WHA PASSES FOR NEWS HAS NO EFFECT O ME UNLESS I'M IN MEXICO AND THE NEWS IS ABOUT A CARTEL MEMBER LEAVING A HUMAN HEAD AT THE CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST, I DON'T CARE. I ALSO KNOW WHEN JOURNALIST GO ON VACATION, SO DOES THE NEWSBREAK IT'S LIKE THEY BOTH OWN A TIMESHARE TOGETHER AT BOCA . SO IN THE ABSENCE OF FACTS, WE GO FROM NUCLEAR CODES TO DOCUMENT TO INDICTMENTS. INDICTMENTS, THE MEDIA LOVES THIS WORD ASSUMING YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. YOU GUYS WATCHING ME RIGHT NOW DO AND THAT'S WHY THE MEDIA HATES YOU SOMETIMES. SOMEONE ONCE SAID YOU COULD INDICT A HAM SANDWICH, AND I BE IT WASN'T VERY IMPRESSIVE. HE WOULD KEEP ON TAMPERING WITH THE DEFENDER. SO FAKE NEWS RULES IN REAL NEWS IS REDEFINED AS HATEFUL SPEECH. IS THE REQUIRED WAY OF? YES, BUT DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. BRING UP THEY ARE ANTI-SEMITIC. YOU POINT OUT THAT IT'S YOUNG BLACK KIDS THAT IS RACIST TO. HIS CITIZENS ON TWITTER CALLS A AND ADMITTING WING WRONGDOING AGAINST YOUNG PATIENTS, IT IS THE CITIZEN WHO IS GUILTY. A PERSON GETS BANNED FROM TWITTER FOR DOING WHAT PEOPLE USED TO CALL JOURNALISM, SO WHAT'S LEFT IS AN ARRAY OF BOTTOMLESS WHAT-IFS THAT ARE PERFECT FOR HAPPY DRAMA QUEENS ON CABLE, THIS DEATH THAT IS IGNORED AND PROBABLY REAL THAT COULD AFFECT YOU, HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE, HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE. THAT WAS GRATUITOUS. I NEED A SHOWER AFTER THAT. I ACTUALLY DO. I STINK. BUT REAL STUFF IN LIFE, JOURNALIST DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT EIGHT USED TO BE THE DOG DAYS OF AUGUST WHEN PRODUCERS WOULD DO ANYTHING TO PLUG A WHOLE, EVEN ASKING AMATEURS TO HOST FOR ME. TUNE INTO ONE NATION AT 7:00 O'CLOCK AND 8:00 O'CLOCK. IN MY NOT ENOUGH? >> APPARENTLY NOT. I AM SO TIRED OF HAVING TO DO CHARITY FOR THIS GUY. IT'S LIKE SPONSORING A CHILD FROM OVERSEAS BUT THIS ONE COMMUTES FROM LONG ISLAND. FAKE NEWS IS YEAR-ROUND, IT'S THE PROFIT MODEL, SO WHAT TO DO WITH THE MEDIA HACKS, I SAY TUR THEM ON AND A ONE-WAY TRIP TO SOMEWHERE THEY CAN'T EVEN TWEET FROM BARRY TELL THE LADIES OF THE VIEW TO PACK EXTRA MUUMUUS BECAUSE THEY WANT BECOMING BACK SOON. MAYBE WHEN THEY'RE ON PERMANENT VACATION THE REST OF US CAN FINALLY GET SOME PEACE. WELCOME, TONIGHT'S GUESTS, SHE KEEPS HER WINE WHERE SHE KEEPS HER CHILDREN, INSIDE A CARDBOAR BOX. FOX NEWS ANCHOR AND THERE IS. HE IS OUR FAVORITE BREWER, THIS SIDE OF ANHEUSER-BUSCH, THE COMEDIAN THE NEW YOUTUBE SPECIAL , SOMEBODY HAD TO SAY IT JIM BREWER. SHE IS ONE HEMINGWAY YOU WILL NEVER FIND IN CUBA, MOLLY HEMINGWAY. AND HIS NAME IS AN UNDERCOVER STRIPPER AND HIS BUCK SEXTON. WHAT I ALWAYS LIKE ABOUT YOU IS A NEWS ANCHOR, YOU NEVER TRIED TO GET PEOPLE TO TRUST YOU. NO. NO, FIRST OF ALL, YOU ALWAYS WANT TO UNDERSELL AND THAT IS M MOTTO IN LIFE VERY JUST SET THE EXPECTATIONS LOW. IN THAT WAY IF YOU ACTUALLY GET SOMETHING RIGHT PEOPLE ARE LIKE THAT'S INCREDIBLE. >> IT IS FUNNY HOW THEY USE THE SAME PHRASES, THE USE THE SAME FOCAL AND THEY HAVE NO MEMORY O EVERYTHING THEY SAID BEFORE WHICH IS LIKE IF TRUE OR SHE'S GOING TO JAIL, WHAT IS IT, ARE YOU OBLIGATED TO HAVE AMNESIA I ORDER TO DO THE NEWS? >> ABSOLUTELY. YOU JUST HAVE TO TELL THE NEWS IS IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT AND MOST OF THE TIME IT'S UNBELIEVABLE SO YOU'VE JUST GOT TO FAKE IT. THAT'S WHERE TRUMP CAME OUT WIT FAKE NEWS FREIGHT A LOT OF THE PEOPLE AND THE MEDIA ARE FAKING IT UNTIL THEY MAKE IT IT, BUT A LOT OF THEM AREN'T MAKING IT. >> IF THEY FAKE IT UNTIL THEY MAKE IT, THEY SHOULD GET FIRED. I'M SURE HE WOULD LOVE TO COME ON, YOU'VE BEEN SO KIND TO HIM. >> I THINK I WOULD FETCHING HIM. ISN'T THAT REALLY WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT? JIM, WHERE YOU STAND ON THIS? YOU ARE NOT IN THE NEWS, DO YOU FEEL LIKE WHENEVER YOU TURN ON THE NEWS YOU'RE GETTING FED OVERLOAD? >> HONESTLY, ANYTHING THEY SAY, I KNOW IS COMPLETE OPPOSITE. WHATEVER IS GOING ON, I KNOW IT'S A FULL-BLOWN NITROGENOUS WASTE AT THE END OF THE DAY. I DON'T BUY ANY NEWS WHATSOEVER. EXCEPT FOR FOX NEWS OF COURSE BECAUSE WE HERE DELIVER NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. >> OF COURSE. >> OF COURSE. >> WHILE YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA. >> I LIVE IN NAPLES, FLORIDA. HOME OF THE PASTEL COLOR PANTS. CAN THAT PRESS MEDIA EVER REGAI TRUST? >> NO. >> ZERO. THEY LIED THROUGH THEIR TEETH. AND BACK TO, YOU CAN HATE TRUMP ALL YOU WANT, HE'S THE FIRST HUMAN BEING THEY CAME OUT FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS, FAKE NEWS, AND FOR CENTURIES, FOR YEARS. AND IT IS WORLDWIDE. IT'S RIDICULOUS. >> IS THAT AUSTRALIAN OR NEW ZEALAND? >> IT WAS SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN. I LIKED IT ANYWAY. MOLLY, DO YOU FIND IT WEIRD WHE YOU GO AWAY ON VACATION YOU COM BACK, WHENEVER I GO AWAY, NOTHING BIG HAPPENS SO I FEEL LIKE IT'S ABOUT MAYBERRY. >> YOU CAN TAKE TWO DAYS OFF AN YOU COME BACK AND IT'S LIKE YOU'RE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFEREN COUNTRY MAJOR THINGS HAVE HAPPENED. I TOOK MY ONE DAY OF VACATION THE DAY OF THE MAR-A-LAGO RAID. I CAME BACK AT MIDNIGHT AND I SAID WHAT HAPPENED HERE? , I REALLY CHOSEN THE WRONG DAT TAKEOFF. BUT THE MEDIA ARE SO BAD AT THESE THINGS. PARTICULAR WITH THAT STORY I'VE BEEN FINDING IT FUNNY HOW PEOPL ACT LIKE WE DIDN'T JUST GO THROUGH THE FBI FAKING EVIDENCE TO GO AFTER THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN AND DOING ALL SORTS OF DEPLORABLE THINGS AND NOW THERE ACTING LIKE THIS IS JUST A BRAND-NEW DAY, THAT NEVER HAPPEN , THEY NEVER RAN THE RUSSIAN COLLUSION HOAX. YOU HEAR PEOPLE SAY YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT WE DON'T KNOW. I HEARD THAT FOR YEARS DURING THE RUSSIAN COLLUSION HOAX I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE. >> IT'S PRETTY FUNNY BECAUSE THIS FACT DEPRESSION STORY, IF TRUE, IT WOULD BE HUGE. BUT WHY DIDN'T IT GO ANYWHERE? I WAS AWAY, I THOUGHT THIS IS GOING TO EXPLODE, I WISH I WAS AT WORK, BUT THEN IT JUST KINDA PETERED AWAY AND THEN THEY STARTED DOING MORE STUFF ABOUT THE RATE INSTEAD. WHEN SOMETHING IS HAPPENING THE GO BIG ON THE OTHER SIDE. >> I WROTE BOOK CALLED GREG ABOUT THE 2020 ELECTION I TOLD THE STORY IN THE BOOK PFIZER CAME OUT AFTER THE ELECTION AND ANNOUNCED THEY HAD IN OCTOBER GOTTEN EVERYTHING THEY NEEDED T DO IN ORDER TO GET THE VACCINE APPROVED AND IT WAS CLEAR PEOPL WERE OPENLY SAYING THAT THEY HA TO DELAY THIS ANNOUNCEMENT UNTI AFTER THE ELECTION AND YES, I MEAN THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS THAT WERE DONE THAT WE'RE IMPROPER TO AFFECT THAT ELECTIO AND COULD GET REMEMBER READING THAT IN YOUR BOOK. FANTASTIC BOOK. YOU CAN STILL GET IT. ITS IT'S AVAILABLE? >> IT IS. WHAT PROFESSOR DID YOU ROLL? >> IN SHOWED THEM A QR COLD OF WHERE THEY THAT. DID YOU GET MARRIED OR SOMETHING ? >> ENGAGED. >> TO FOX NEWS EMPLOYEE. >> OH REALLY, FOX NEWS. YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT YOU AND JUDGE JEANINE WOULD HIT IT OFF, BUT IT GAVE GIVE THE JUDGE IS A LOT OF FUN. THROUGH STORY. >> WE WOULD HAVE A HELLUVA TIME. >> YOU'RE KIDDING ME. >> WHAT ABOUT THE ZUCKERBERG STUCK? HE GOES TO ROGAN AND SAYS THIS INCREDIBLE THING IN THEN BUSY TRYING TO PUT UP THE FBI RESPONSE FOR IT. >> LYING IS THE POINT. THAT EVERYBODY NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THIS NOW. THIS ISN'T A SURPRISE OR HOW COULD THEY HAVE GOT THIS ALL WRONG WHEN YOU HAVE HELMETS WITHIN THE FBI LET IT COME FORWARD AND TALK ABOUT ELECTION DISINFORMATION. THERE WAS NOT A SINGLE MISINFORMATION TIDBIT IT IS ALWAYS REPUBLICAN DISINFORMATION . WHEN FAUCI, I THINK PEOPLE HAD TO GET IT TO THEIR HEAD THAT HE WAS JUST THE HEALTH DEEP STATE. HE WAS THE BUREAUCRAT OF MANY DECADES. IT WAS A MISTAKE FOR TRUMP TO KEEP THEM ON. WE ALL KNOW THAT. TRUMP HAS BEEN HONEST ABOUT HIS PERSONAL DECISION FOR THE PURPOSE OF ALL THESE OTHER INSTITUTIONS IS TO BE BATTLING PROPAGANDA MACHINES FOR THE LEFT . I WORKED FOR SOME OF THEM BY TH WAY, 51 OR WHATEVER IT WAS FROM A THIRD NOT SO STUPID THAT THEY THOUGHT THE LAPTOP WAS MISINFORMATION, THEY WENT THEIR CREDIBILITY ON FIRE PURPOSELY T GIVE FIRE TO THE SHUTDOWN OF TH STORY SO THAT RELATIVELY LOW INFORMATION FOES CAN SAY WELL, GUESS THERE'S MORE CIA PEOPLE GOT THAT. >> WE HAVE TO DO A HEARING 50 T DAYS OF HEARINGS TO INTERVIEW EACH PERSON THAT SIGNED THAT LETTER. I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR HURTING YOU WITH THE LADIES BY SAYING YOU ARE ENGAGED BECAUSE IT PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE DATING AS MUCH. I MEAN YOUR NAME IS BUCK SEXTON. WHOSE MONOGAMOUS WITH THAT NAME. WHAT'S BAD IS YOUR FORENAME IS PROBABLY LIKE JERRY SLAVIN SPIEL . OR IS THAT THE OPPOSITE? I AM IN IDIOT. WE NEED MORE BLUE-COLLAR JOURNALISTS, PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE, THAT'S WHAT WE NEED TOO
