W.C. Fields - The Diner Sketch

ah morning your phone but he hasn't gasha ah ah got a menu thank you thank you has very good coolers on this menu roast beef gravy oh just fits gravies some goes on outside is that steak New York cut water pop oh no extra charge for the cold shower how do you think it's too hot for pork chops oh that practically eliminates everything but Hammond Ang's forgot about that ah no ham had two four minute eggs and blasts up yes cup and some whole wheat right there's some white bread yes and they get away from there and a cup of mocha Java with cream milk milk yes that's fine too in a water easy yeah I don't never come and Home Slice get the best of everything so a go enjoy a cool and another thing you're always squawking about something if it didn't a steak it something else I just walk about the steak there I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here you're as funny as a cry for help you also pulled that old gag about breaking your fork in the gravy iein said anything about breaking the pork in the gravy you should you be an old Follies girl you know there's something awfully big about you uh-huh I could do you think it is like your nose nothing office thing about you too hi honey hi you job give me a cup of Jamal probably means mocha Java hey what's the mall in Seoul I'll be 35 cents 35 cents thank you have you any imported cigars stinger OU's for for a nickel oh that's fine as long as you're imported you know if anybody ever comes in here and gives you a $10 tip as good mais it carefully because a lot of counterfeit money going around I'll give you the total to care there if I get any counterfeit nickels or pennies I'll know where they came from yourself clever huh who told you I was clever all your friends at the studio told me Oh drat I told him nothing had another thing don't be so free with your hands listen honey I was only trying to catch your weight you take things too seriously baloney Mahoney malarkey a big kablooey cooked Luna haven't him call that for two days I suffered from high blood pressure for years down a lost meadow and I had to give it up very comical then huh it's nice it's fine aren't you a little confused uh in which way your hat oh thanks a thousand times yes mistook it thank you excuse me blippi pie haha take the shutter Faneuil off very fortunately didn't burn my hat

Channel: Kovacs Corner

Views: 4,864,059

Rating: 4.7502632 out of 5

Keywords: W.C., Fields, Jody, Gilbert, diner, restaurant, waitress, cigar, hat, Never, Give, Sucker, an, Even, Break

Id: yOHGr8r5Cs4

Length: 5min 43sec (343 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 18 2010

Reddit Comments

[u/decayingteeth]

I often think of the quote: Kabloona, I haven't been called that for two days.