>> On behalf of the Library of
Congress welcome!
We promise you a very fabulous evening tonight.
We want to thank our partners in crime the other wonderful folks from
Netflix. They will be in shortly.
We also want to think of course the members of Congress who are
here tonight, especially the members of the Congressional LGBTQ Congress.
We want to welcome the staffers that are here tonight! [applause] The staffers include
the members of the LGBTQ staff
Association, the Senate Glasscock is in the library's own LC glow.
If you have looked around we are surrounded by a lot of young
people. The conversation tonight is
about LGBTQ issues for young adults. We are welcoming all the youth
groups in the Washington D.C. area who joined us here tonight
from Georgetown to American mile to L.A. you are all here
tonight. Thank you for coming. [applause] Raise of hands, which
one of you, this is your first time to the Library of Congress?
That's pretty good, usually have two thirds of the audience raise
her hand. Her most of you you've been here
before and hoping you've seen a
beautiful building of what this is. There's more to this building
and that main meeting room. We are whole lot more than
books. We are trying to do the library
now is bus the treasure chest open so you only what the
library has. We are more than that feeling,
we are more than books. We have the collection of 23
presidents which includes the contents of
Abraham Lincoln's caucus during his assassination, George Washington's handwriting,
Abraham Lincoln's address. There's a lot of treasures but
there's more than historical Documents. We have Roger and Hammerstein. Someday you may feel future Leonard Bernstein. Please welcome from Netflix the
director of North American public policy Miss Corey Wright. >> Hi everybody good night.
Thank you for being here this evening.
I am Corey Wright I work on North America public policy on
behalf of Netflix and my team here we appreciate you coming out this evening.
I have if you think use of my own to make. I hope you will bear with me.
Thank you to Roswell and his team at the Library of Congress
to host is here. If you have a chance yet to
check out the amazing artifacts in library collection they are
right outside of the theater when this is through. Thinking of course to the LGBTQ
low class for partnering with us.
We are really happy for such an amazing turnout tonight. Of course the amazing a cappella
performance was gorgeous. [applause] Last, but never least
the number of Congress were able to join us here this evening we
really appreciate your presence and your dedication to these
important issues. At Netflix we work really hard
provide a stage for the world's most
compelling stories and storytellers. See can find something that
engages you and speaks to you. You'll have that moment where we
find that movie or that T.V. show that is just what you need,
just when you need it. For me, Queer Eye is that show.
It's so easy when you turn on your T.V. or you look at your
phone to be overwhelmed by the negativity, but just when you need it the Fab five
remind you that a little understanding, a little
compassion in the French talk can really help the world feel a
whole lot better. [applause] I work for Netflix
are not supposed to have favorites, but
if I did, Queer Eye would be one of
them and judging by the turnout tonight I suspect a few of you
feel the same way. We really appreciate you having
you here tonight. We hope you enjoy the panel and
thanks again. [applause]
>> All right, I know you getting sick of me so it's time.
Monitoring tonight's discussion is Pulitzer prize-winning
journalist Jonathan Capehart at the Washington Post. You also see him at MSNBC.
It's hard to believe it's been a year since we been introduced to
the Fab five. Since then we have learned to
French Tucker shirts, remind yourselves too much stress every
day but most importantly to love ourselves more.
We met every day Americans become inspirations and heroes like
Palm of Georgia, mama Tammy of gay Georgia, Jess of Kansas and the Jones sisters
of Missouri. [applause] You have to admit
this one, through three seasons we have all laughed and all
cried. Please welcome to Washington and
to the Library of Congress the cast of Netflix Queer Eye Bobby Burke, Jonathan
brightness and Jonathan K Capehart. [music] [crosstalk] >> That was good content. >> I was too late.
You've all been introduced, I assume you have been introduced. I'm Jonathan Capehart from MSNBC.
Thank you to the library of Congress were holding his
incredible gathering of these incredible men who have given us
an incredible show. As you can see here I have
questions. You know what, I will put this
aside because I don't know if you know
this, but we asked the audience to submit questions and so, I have them
right here. I'm going to ask the questions
that have come from the audience. The first one – if you hear
your name it's almost like the price is right. If you hear your name no coming on down.
I hate to be the buzz kill, but scream so we know where you are.
Thank you! Sally Morgan. [applause] Sally Morgan is 12
years old. >> Hi Sally Morgan! June [crosstalk] Sally Morgan 12
years old, how can kids be more confident in themselves? PS it's pronounced squirrel! [applause] >> That's why I didn't strike
you. [laughter]
>> That's a gorgeous question. I think confidence is so easily
swayed by comparing your experience of
other people in comparison in general.
What is the most sure thing you will ever have is your
relationship with yourself. As you proceed in your education
in your life the more you can love and
accept yourself the more other people's opinions and goings-on
of the world won't rock your opinion of
yourself so much. And then honey you are confident
you know?
>> I just want to add to that I think in education helps as
well, not only the education you get in school but also leaning
into things that you are passionate about and where your
interests are and just learning how to nurture those.
The more you know about something the less fearful you are in the more
confident you will be in yourself.
Whatever that is for you whether it's music, art, history.
Whatever it is. Find people of similar passions.
>> What about math? Don't forget about math.
>> The jury is still out on math.
All the other things I think have pretty much been proven. [laughter]
>> Can I ask something about the show before I go to the next
audience question? It seems as though y'all have
been friends forever. The chemistry between all of you, all five of you feel like, binging on the show it
feels like a been dropped into these well-formed relationships.
How long did it take to get to know each other? >> During casting there was
about 40 when we finally came in together.
The five of us within the first day, day and a half all found
each other. Even before your cast we
instantly felt a connection to each other and I think the
producer saw that. It was very natural for us to be inquisitive about each
other and learn more into like each other because we
automatically liked each other. When you're catapulted into
filming a show together we are together 24
77 days a week you spend more time with each other and some people spend an
entire lifetime. We have learned so much about
each other.
The good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly.
The everything. It's made us have the type of
chemistry that you can't manufacture. >> Do you have a pet peeve about
the other? >> Jonathan was asking about a
pet peeve and this is where you let him know about the temperature. >> Stay on your side.
>> The only pet peeve we have onset really, the only time we argue
is with the temperature. >> Bobby runs very hot.
[laughter] >> Put the mic down. Take his Mike!
Jonathan always wants to wear something that may not be always
seasonably appropriate. Those three are a nightmare.
>> We are the easy-going ones. >> Or any of my long hair people
out there? You get very sweaty in your hair
is freshly blown dry in here six together and you get the dreaded
Bermuda triangle. Which is like this triangle of
skin that flashes out.
You have your hair parted in the middle on the side in your scalp
sticks out and this is my nightmare because the writings
on the wall. My mom graduated high school
with no hair. I'm living on borrowed time. That's why get worried.
It's not the temperature is sweating in the hair sticking
together. If I had to volume it and I had
a gorgeous cough like you I would not worry about my sweaty
forehead. You don't know what it's like.
Rebecca York we just work through it.
Hi Rebecca. Rebecca asked, Queer Eye
highlights the positive in our society and how we can build
bridges across difference. While that is important it
brings up some real issues that actively
affect LGBTQ. In your opinion, what are the
most pressing issues for youth in our community and what best can we, especially the
members of Congress in the room, and
pointing at you Sean Maloney of New York, what can they take
to do better for our youth? >> I think that there is a
laundry list, but to get started I think to
started off, if you look at LGBTQ youth growing up
today it's based on the assurance and
confidence that their heterosexual or gendered counterparts felt basic civil rights.
That affects you on a macro level of how you are perceived
by society and also on a personal level of what your
self-worth is.
>> The equality act is what he is talking about.
>> In making sure this country has a system in place. You can have demonstration in
schools but also guns are huge issue for people in high school in this country. [cheering] The targeted
discrimination that the transgender community continues
to face and how that affects people's education is also
relevant. Let's get out there!
Sorry, I love you guys so much. You may disagree but you don't
have to leave. Give us an hour!
I think one of the most important things, a lot of times
people say you're going into these very conservative homes and you're just ignoring the fact that they have very
different political views and they may have voted in a way
that really does affect our civil rights.
If we are not visible, it will never change.
If we are not out there showing those people who may have voted in a
way that is very judgmental towards our civil rights, if we
are not showing them we are people just like they are,
and they aren't thinking about us when they vote.
And they are thinking about people that are different than
them in the way their votes affect us. I think our biggest ally is visibility and making
sure we are setting a great example in making sure we are out there and proud
and showing everyone out there that we are just like everyone
else and we deserve the same rights as they do. [applause] >> I'm going to be really honest
I'm not as informed on American politics is my counterparts.
>> He's British. [laughter] However the thing I
see that's very problematic is we seem to have a government
that does not speak out when injustices committed against our community and even if the laws take a long time to
change I don't agree with why it takes so long to change, but
even if it does take a long time to change I wish the
current administration was speak out against the hate that is
delivered to our people. >> The problem is our current
administration is speaking the hate.
[applause] >> I do know. >> I can understand why you're
so concerned. Rebecca I see where you are
concerned and I'm sure you feel a lot more
confident in this country felt the leadership supported your
basic human rights. As long as the people that are
in power – I worry will never get the security we should
expect. Not just hope for but expect. >> And deserve!
[applause] >> With this incarnation of
Queer Eye you are not in the bubble of
L.A. or the bubble of New York. The first two seasons were in
Atlanta. This current season –.
[laughter] >> Which is great!
This current season season three is in Kansas City.
Kansas City, Atlanta of the South, we talked about the current
administration and what it is or isn't doing. There are voters in these places
to support the president. I'm just curious what was it
like being Queer Eye, the Fab Five in red
states? >> I felt really powerful going
to those places. I don't want a Queer Eye that stays in New
York and LA. That's a low hanging fruit as
far as I'm concerned. The gaze already hopefully don't
hate us for being gay.
It's good for us to be around people who have not had the exposure to us.
I going to those kind of states and having real conversations
with them to say forget what party you follow. Forget what your opinions on the
president. One on one conversation with one
of us for a week and then at the end of the week tell us that you
hate us. That's not possible.
You can't hate us for who we are because we are showing our
humanity. >> What I loved, I grew up in Missouri I
spent 17 years of my life try to get the hell out of there.
Going back actually felt really good because I saw how much it
has changed since I was 17-year-old kid
trying to get the hell out of there
because I was being persecuted and it was not accepted.
To go back now and see how accepted we were granted it was
a little different. We are coming back on a T.V. show, but you could see that
things have changed and it really gave
me hope in this really drove home
the point of the more we are visible, the more people will
accept us. The more people realize,
people's biggest fears about things they
don't know. When they see us more they
accept us more. >> Yes. And also what I really learned
in the last two years is the importance of state legislature. [applause] One thing that I
experienced when we got to Atlanta the
election was going on and it's all that I could
talk about first three weeks I was there.
That was the timing of what went on.
I remember talking to an uber driver on the way to the airport
to go shoot Game of Thrones on a weekend and nobody knew who I
was. I was not trying to name drop
that but nobody knew who I was then and nobody knew that I was talking to them
about anything. And they said who are you voting
for? And I said if I voted it would
change. What will it matter to me?
As a 21-year-old kid who lives in downtown Atlanta it matters a
lot. So complacency and knowing who
your representatives are, obviously this is a federal election.
Stacy Abrams honey came so close. [applause] The state legislature
we may change in Georgia we made gains
in Missouri.
I think what we have classically considered to be more red states
are changing and. I think some people are going
back into the middle of America and migrating out of L.A. to New
York and going back to the cities that maybe the hope is
not lost on people Missouri and Georgia.
We have to talk to people and engage with people. Like Kim was saying it's hard to
hit people up close. I think people that don't know
it's because they just not have been
exposed. We have to work really hard to
get in those uncomfortable places and have those
uncomfortable conversations with people because I think 2020 it's
on the table y'all.
We can do this in the Senate it's not that hard! You got to be talking to uber
drivers and talk to people. You to chat about it it's not
that far away. [laughter] I made a mistake and
I said Kansas and you're in Missouri.
Jonathan I will pick up on something you just said.
Having those uncomfortable conversations, have you had an
uncomfortable conversation that did not make it on their? >> Me and Joey had a great one
about minimum sentencing in Missouri. We were in the salon for a solid
eight hours we talked a lot about the
injustices. [crosstalk] >> That was a fantastic
transformation, wow!
>> That someone who I would not think was a corrections officer
would have the same feelings I have about the militarization of
the police force or the failed war on drugs. This was actually someone who when I was wheeling and
dealing all the things you know I wheel and deal about on my
twitter honey, she actually we went that far apart and I was
very surprised by that.
That's why it wasn't on the T.V. show. >> Re-surprise your points if
you were similar? >> Yes because she was an
officer in a corrections facility. At that it would be looking out of there looking like Angelica
from Rugrats. >> We filmed 40-60 hours per
week and the show gets down to 45 minutes. Episode two of season one, the police officer has a
sign in his yard make America great
again in his bedroom. That episode ended up being more
about the relationship between him and
Cromwell. Corey and I had a two hour car
ride for the week and talk about the election.
We talked about why he voted for Trump in his reasoning in all
his reasoning was incorrect. [laughter] He was talking about
how he just really does not like how
Obama never ever talked about blue lives and it was always
black lives. Where did you get that info?
Yes he does. He absolutely supported everyone
who was in the right. Where you getting this info?
And I said you only watch Fox news? He said I don't watch Fox news at all.
I got them to think about where he was getting his info and
started to educate himself more. Corey has now gotten into local
politics .
It goes back to having the uncomfortable conversations we have to listen
to people though. How I got him to opened up was I
listened. Don't go in there telling people
your point of view, listen to them
first. >> I'm typically likeliest to
the hair. Sometimes were not scary just to
look at my twitter. >> He's very good at listening
intently. >> I want to listen over here.
[laughter] >> Anthony did you have a
conversation that was uncomfortable in any of the
seasons? >> Uncomfortable conversations
with me? I tend to – I don't know if
it's the fact that I'm Canadian and I feel like even
though have been in this country on and off for over 13 years, I still feel like I'm a guest here
and I don't feel like my spot here is very safe.
I've heard stories about Canadians who cross the border
and come back and aren't able to come back because
of basically being asked to the support and having what's it called? Having border patrol. [laughter] I've heard those
horror stories and I tend to trade a
little more carefully. The conversation personally that
would make me a little more
uncomfortable for the main reason why I'm so comfortable
being on the show talking about my sexuality which is something I've always kept very
close to my heart. Something that I have shared
with loved ones and friends and family but not anything I've
ever really spoken about in the public space.
I look back at her time with A.J. for example in season one, that was an opportunity
where he was sharing so much about his
experience in the type of man he wanted to be or that he thought
he should be. The fact that he did not want to
be too feminine in his clothing choices I realized holy ship if he's willing to
share so much with me I have to be able to do the same. I'm sure there's some interviews
somewhere but I've never referred to myself as gay. I've always felt more
comfortable fluid. I've been in love with women and for me personally it
feels like in some way disrespectful to them hi, it's
okay because it means something to those relationships.
It's not a judgment against people who have a label because
if it's something that is important to you power to you absolutely.
For me personally I've always felt more comfortable not having
one in just considering myself fluid is the word of the day for
me. I may change my mind tomorrow
but that's how I feel today. The point is I don't feel like I
have to decide I want to continue to
be myself. My father says be humble and
don't be a dick. [laughter]
>> I'm sorry I actually swear the least out of all of us.
I apologize. But yeah. [laughter] >> Addison more.
Where is Addison more? There's a whole section over
there. [cheering] Addison more what is
the best way for someone who is LGBTQ to use the platform for queer, trans and
non-binary? >> I will take that one.
I didn't want to talk too much. [laughter] I think visibility
for me, being visible and being in my
community no matter what the comments will say whether three
people watching the 3 million your voice matters.
It does not matter how many eyes look at it, it's how true – you asked
the question? It matters how authentic you
were to the passionate you're bringing to your platform because I think that
brings her humanity to your voice.
You can't be afraid of people up close.
You are a celebrity and everybody so lovely. Most people are so lovely.
I think it's really staying true to what moves you makes you feel
passionate. When someone is coming for your
people get all up on that twitter.
[laughter] >> Actually sometimes twitter
yes, but maybe call you up and get on the center for
transgender equality and get on their twitter make a little
donation honey. Also money moves things – no
it does. We have to raise money for candidates for non-binary and transgender and where people are
protected. With the equality act.
[applause] >> I will ask a question about
Jeff, Skyler. I will come back to Jeff. Talk about pull my heart out. Based on your experiences with
your heroes, what help can be
provided for this aced LGBTQ? Just was kicked out of her home
when she was 19 because she came out.
Skyler was a transgender man also kicked out. >> I live in Salt Lake City Utah
and we have a system for people who
need support and most importantly
LGBTQ youth. They can put you in touch with resources and if they have a in
Utah of all places, there is bound to be something similar in
every state. I would suggest you find your
organization in your state that can offer you support.
Also, the younger generation, you guys have access – news Instagram and Twitter a
lot. The use Insta handles.
You love some social and that's a good thing. >> I watched seven hours of
gymnastics videos alone today. [laughter]
>> There's nothing wrong with living social and it can be a
great tool. There hashtags you can find
local support systems in local communities that can truly offer
support you need. Yes, social can be a great
resource if you're struggling to find something locally to you it
can be hashtag away. >> There hotlines available as
well. To hear a human voice, somebody
speaking so you don't feel like you're having this conversation on your own.
>> National suicide hotline that something that could apply to
somebody which is on my instagram account. >> If you are one of those youth
who are lucky enough to have parents who
are amazing and love you no matter what and accepting no
matter what, find those local LGBTQ places where kids who
aren't as lucky as you have to go.
Go there, volunteer, donate close you have grown out of.
Give back to them because you were lucky enough to have
parents that love you. Help them. >> The main theme of Queer Eye
is love yourself. How do you then say two teens
were going through it, emotionally.
How do you connect them to let them know not only it gets better which is
a future message, but that they can get through this which is a
here and now message? >> For me having gone through
those type of situations, it does get better in the way I show them and tell them is I went through a lot.
I did things I'm not proud of just to survive, to make it
through. Every single thing I went
through has made me the person I am today.
I did not kill me, it made me stronger and it will make you
stronger. You will get through it.
It will get better. [applause] Everything that you
go through in life is what makes you the person that you are. None of it is bad. Hang in there, stay strong.
The more you go through the stronger you will be in more
successful you will be. >> I used to see this positive
as affirmations is a very American
thing. The bricks are very cynical. [laughter] I have been in
America a few years now and and I started
practicing positive affirmations for myself years ago and it
really does help. [laughter]
>> What is your positive affirmation?
>> I will share them with you. Let me tell you why.
>> How do you not sure your positive affirmation!
>> It's a personal thing. Private.
>> He tells himself he loves himself in the mirror as he's
brushing his hair. >> I will segue into letting you
continue to finish a thought. Out of all of us he has the ability to show
one set with a smile on his face. >> A professional.
[cheering] >> Can I tell you what it is?
You might make fun of me! >> No we won't. >> Sit here while I tell it. >> Repeat yourself affirmation. >> There are so many people
saying something negative especially in social media.
The amount of times or the something on social media that's negative,
the clause are always out and people are fighting the fight.
I thought I want to something where I feel better about
myself. Every day you mentioned when I
brush my hair that's not my do it.
When I brush my teeth it takes me about two minutes. >> Some brushes have timers.
>> While I brush my teeth I do in my underwear.
I do my underwear for a reason. >> He doesn't want to get to
preach on thpaste on his shirt. >> Let me finish!
It gives me time to look at myself and really say these are
the things I love about myself physically in these of them as I love about myself
emotionally. Then assessment for the day no
matter what happens in the day, no matter what somebody says to
me, if they say something vulgar or say something racist or say something homophobic I think at least
there are three things a little about myself.
At least I'm finding every opportunity to make myself happy
as opposed to just accepting the hate that is thrown my way.
>> I would never make fun of that.
I love that! [applause] >> At first you think I feel
cheesy AF but I don't want to be the
reason I am not happy.
>> I won't be the reason I'm unhappy. Wow!
>> That's so get out of your own way sort of thing.
I love that. I can't believe he never told me
did positive affirmations. [laughter]
>> You literally in a room of all Americans.
>> I married an American I can say that.
>> That's not how it works but okay. >> That is true. >> I don't have a last name. Jackie 24?
Thanks Jackie 24 when you felt lost or stuck in life what
helped you move forward? >> Celine Dion.
[laughter] >> There goes my answer.
When I was most lost in my life was probably when I was in a
pre-college. My early 20s, I was back in
Montréal, I was studying commerce. No shame to anybody who loves
commerce and I still can't fully explain what the major was. And I was very unhappy and had no
direction and no idea what it was I wanted to pursue in my
life. And there was a teacher, his
name is Victor giveaway and he was my English teacher and he
called me into his office one day and he basically looked over
my grades and basically told me, we started chatting about what I
wanted to do with my life and he became a mentor. I used to go see him sometimes
unannounced once or twice a week just to check in.
Sometimes just to hang out. Other times to just silently
read a book for 20 or 30 minutes and just be
around him. Ended up actually getting me in
touch with the social worker who got me in touch with a
psychologist. Most the question? [laughter]
>> I was thinking I think he got off track.
>> What was the question? [laughter]
>> I have a point. >> I wasn't ready to admit to
myself that I needed help. My parents were not available
for that hill. I went to a teacher and I
realized throughout my life whether I was in high school or
the University I have always sought out mentors through
teachers that would actually listen to me that
I respected.
I think during all the darkest. Because of my time I did a lot
of things wrong, but one thing I did write is that I did not keep
it for myself too long and it comes back to what I was saying
previously about when you have a conversation in your own head
starts become a problem. Actually reaching out to
somebody and getting some professional help in the end was
the best thing I could've ever done for myself. Something I continue to do to
this day. >> I came back!
I got ADD but it comes back. It comes back.
It's how we get through hard times and what helped you move
forward. >> Mine is more sinister.
Yours is beautiful. A true reflection of your
personality. This is a true reflection of
mine. [laughter] You know me too well.
I was not meant to have the life I have now I was raised in a
very strict community and household.
I was told this was not a life that was okay for me and every day I
encourage myself to prove my worth and show that I can have the life I want to have
and be incredibly successful. One of the most successful
people in my community. And will prove it one day.
That drive got me through every day, every time I was feeling shit about myself that's
motivation that got me through thinking I would prove my worth. >> You know that all too well!
>> If you find yourself in a dark prolonged dark rut, as I have
often, doing something that I was
passionate about has always created a thread that has created every success in
every moment of happiness that I have ever had.
Whether that passion was helping people or learning to figure skate or
whatever, it has been. [INDISCERNABLE] For a long time. It was honestly growing up in a
rural town being mercilessly bullied.
It was cheerleading. That was a group of people only
codify her only myself backwards those girls would
protect me.
I was passionate about learning how to cheer.
Whatever your passionate about learning to do that will put one
foot in front of the other to get you out of that dark rut.
>> Jonathan since you brought it up, my next question was going
to come to you about bullying. Since you brought it up, you
have long talked before about the fact that you never fully
experience being in the closet. You have been bullied as a
result of it. How did you cope with it? For the LGBTQ plus kids and
maybe some adults, how do you deal with the bullying?
How do you cope with it? >> Great question. I think that when I was young growing
up, it was a lot of watching figure
skating, watching gymnastics and eating pop tarts and praying for
it to be over. Honestly. I think what I have realized as
an adult because having the success in the public eye has
also brought a fair amount of criticism and bullying and kind of like they were again
put it so much more intense than it was
in junior high. The feeling of bullying is awful
whether it's on that the scale or whether I was 14 I think what really has got
me through is the relationship with myself. That is the only thing we come
into this world with an is the only thing you live with. Everything else – not that
it's not important, but you have to have a really strong
relationship with yourself and know that none of this is permanent.
Success is not permanent, the not success is not permanent.
Your love is not. Nothing is permanent.
Hate to break it to you but it's true.
>> Can I ask you also Jonathan. I don't think we fully answered
your question earlier.
I think we fully answered your question earlier. We concentrate please?
[laughter] You asked me about loving yourself and I think we
need to add in one more thing about that.
So many times we see in her show that people don't take care of
themselves because they think there is some shame and loving yourself or that they
feel like it's selfish. I think it's important what you
say, but also add in there is no shame in
accepting that you love facets of yourself and parts of yourself and allow them to flourish.
So many times we see on are shown people just feel like they
can't show themselves love. They can't practice self-care
because it is selfish. There's nothing selfish about
that. >> That it's vanity. >> Yes!
>> Knowing that is not permanent in the relationship itself is so
important. As I've experienced this success
of met some people I looked up to my entire life and what I
have realized is you are no different than you and you
are no different than me. The people we looked up to and
read about, the president Obama! Everyone that we really look up
to the have insecurities, they have all sorts of stuff.
I think it's really helpful to know that Jonathan and 32 is insecure and
worried about things just the way was when I was 14. Everyone is going through the
same thing it's really not permanent.
If you are being bullied and you're in a bad situation now,
it will not last forever. Find your obsession with guinea
pigs or figure skating or whatever it is for you and just
taste that down as much as you can.
Until you can leave the bad situation you're in.
>> Bobby? What is your fascination and
your obsession? >> His is figure skating, what
is yours? >> Ranch dressing.
[laughter] >> We had the most beautiful
pizza today, wood-burning oven, real Barada, tomatoes the most airy, fluffy leaves of
basil and this one's like I want a bowl of ranch. [laughter] >> Now were growing up? Growing up honestly I put my
passion in music. I love to sing, I love being in
bands. It's a lot of times were queer
kids end up. Everybody is so accepting and
loving the matter who you are what you are. Now my passion is really the
environment. I'm the one going around onset
making sure things are recycled and vacation were not wasting
electricity. If we don't stop what we're
doing to our planet literally nothing helps.
For me it's the environment. That's my passion.
[cheering] >> Ali Steinberg American
University pride. >> That's a fantastic name. >> Age 20. >> When doing so much emotional –
pay attention! [crosstalk]
>> I'm getting a workout appear. >> Ali Steinberg American
University. When doing so much emotional
labor for people on the show how do you leave enough time and emotional energy
for yourself and your family? The question I wonder after
every episode I watched, when I figure
it –. >> When I figured out I'll let
you know. We are exhausted.
For me it's like a pocket of joy.
It used to be that my old minimum of recouping after doing
12 people here in the salon that day, 40s and I was go home,
order something gorgeous and don't leave until Monday.
Saturday, Sunday, Monday just wrecked. Now that pocket of alone time is
from three hours instead of the
weekend. It shorter I have to condense it
honey. You tube figure skating live with
cats go to sleep. Yoga! What about you?
>> It's easier to answer the things that bring me joy before
that I long for now that I fantasize while I'm
filming. >> I did not realize are going
in this direction. [laughter] >> It doesn't have to be sexual !
Self-care for me is actually sitting down and reading a book or just sitting down. >> I'm a Pisces and a level
bath. >> Please try to take only one
once a week it wastes a lot of water.
[laughter] >> Isn't the bath better than
the shower? That whole plastic thing the
whole straw thing honey, I was so scared.
The bathroom is very important to have my float in my soul to
my records and that's another big one.
>> How long do so? >> I get super pretty nice day
for an hour. When it starts to get really
cold that's when it's time to get out.
>> You don't add water? >> In Japan our bathtub self
regulated its heat. >> I just for myself so badly
and that. My Google translate would not
work on the button. Honey I was scorched.
Wow! But they were electric honey! [laughter] >> Not necessarily from ending
episode but just my life has come to we get
to experience incredible nights like this where we get to share our
stories and everything. The time spent with family, my
family have neglected so much since the show came out and that's one of the
sacrifices about having a life like this is that when I have
five minutes to just even check in with my sister needs to feel
guilty I stop calling her for a while.
What I realize now is even if I called her and I literally have
two minutes in a car about to get out what is going to call
you tell you I love you. Now tell me about all the
medical issues that your cats having endeavor issues with the
kid or whatever. Tell me normal things.
Little pocket like that to connect with loved ones.
>> We have a common theme we only have very little time, but
we are usually away from her loved ones animal with my
husband a lot. But what brings me so much joy
is being at home.
If I had three days off I will sit on myself will with my husband and
–. >> You always Insta story when
you do. >> I love to cook and bake so
spend the majority of my day in the kitchen and sat on the couch
and set my husband and I don't want to talk to anyone else. I just want to watch –.
>> You love nature. >> He wears TiVos willingly. >> I'm so granola when I'm in
Utah you have no idea. >> Granola!
>> Bobby a way to get in on the question and I have five minutes of
lightning round. >> Season one and season two
there were many nights where I would come home and cry because it was so
emotionally overwhelming and the connection to see us make with
our heroes are real. And again they are 40-6 years of connections that are condensed
down to you 45 minutes. There's a lot had to work out
myself and my own feelings on how to deal with that, motions I tucked away for
so many years. I find that keeping myself
tethered to the things that I did before, making sure I'm
spending time with my husband, the hikes, spending time with
friends that have been there for me and family. If your family is not there,
your friends that are your family.
Spending time in making sure that you're making those moments
with people you love the most, that's how you keep grounded. I also love orange theory. >> You love to do physical
activity. He does!
[laughter] >> What I want from each of you
and I say this now so that you can
think of your answer, but at the end of the show there is always the Q eer Eye hip tip. Maybe give one that has been on
the show preferably one that has not been on the show and I will
start with you Jonathan. >> You just want hip tip? Just explained to you what this
is? I'm sorry I was zoning out. >> On the fly hip tip. >> If you need a minute I have
got it. >> The items in your closet or
saving for a special occasion, why
saving that special occasion? Don't want to feel special every
day? [applause]
>> Where that ball gown to work! >> My issue is when is the Queen
actually inviting her over for tea?
Probably never so use that tedious for another occasion. >> I figured mine out. >> Where prom down to Class.
>> If it makes you happy it can't be that bad.
Cheryl Crow! [laughter]
>> I will do my hip tip but pretend this is a haircolor box.
Thinking about doing a box of color at home. No you're not.
And then those who spend now is going to staying here for the
four years we grew out. Your wallet and everyone around
you will say thank you so much put it down away from the haircolor isle. [applause] >> This is literally not a wives
tale in nice had so many ugly headlights because people live.
Once your hair has had haircolor on it in their it's not though, it was
four months ago it's gone. No it's not. Four months is up.
My hair, my link right here that is three years of hair. You need to think about that. If you do not have money for
your whatever you want to have that
ruin the permanent line. It's a nightmare and expensive
to get rid of it. Are you still watching? [laughter]
>> Bobby? >> My hip tip is passionate is
in my home? What are the trends?
Screw trends. Find the one item you love if
that item really brings you joy as Marie
conduit says it's a big inclination that it's a design
direction and you should do it. Find the item you love and go
from there. >> It's Bobby's one it m policy honey. >> His one item was cat stuff.
>> I'm kind of thinking a special 12-year-old girl who is here.
>> Sally. Where is Sally? [applause] >> Thinking about what it was
like when I was 12 years old I was living in West Virginia and
I used to bring these lunches to school my mother would take
great pride and care in making lunch. [crosstalk]
>> Come here Sally! >> It's happening, it's
happening! [applause]
>> You could have tripped you ran there! >> I apologize for my breath.
I think back about what it was like being 12 in West Virginia
and I would see the difference between the kids who have
lunches in the kids who did not. I remember how much it affected
me and it was only 10-15 years later
that I started thinking about it and thinking I had the opportunity to actually give weather was have
my sandwich or half of my meal and I did not do that.
I thought about it but I was too embarrassed to do it when I was
12 years old. And these kids often the didn't
have lunch at school I can only imagine what they had or didn't
have for breakfast or dinner. If you're in a position where
you can share your food with somebody, you may never know
what effect will have on their lives, but I think it's a really important thing to do.
[laughter] >> Sure your food! Enke for coming to say hi to us. us.
[cheering] >> Thanks Sally.
That's a great way to end this. Jonathan, Bobby, Antoni Kaz.
Thank you so much for putting up with us. [applause]
>> I think we are going back through the doors. >> Thank
