WarHams - THE ORK EPISODE ft. Alfabusa

three two one go excellent sexy let's get ready another exciting [Music] episode it's time for the orc episode now we also got to get ready to go up into his holes now looks like so i'm super excited everyone with that i want to introduce everybody who is attending for the orc episode starting off with which first played by speaker d all right i'm playing rich face back and uh i'm speaker d um one of them leave writing thingies in the tts it'll play them spikey gates and rich fish is a blasting get of a flask sorry next up we're a libra [Music] and next we have next we have uh aaron dill playing everybody wait for his name to pop up graca hello [Music] for the lorniverse and next up we have creations played by hokey crow always that's me i'm creighton's war club i was on a mission from the boss across the stars and i'm one zogging good commando and then finally we have a guest with us today alpha booster would you like to introduce yourself to everybody uh yes hello i am alfred abuser i uh i am the creator of if the emperor had a text-to-speech device and uh this my character is is snork it's a very friendly grot from the block from from the neighborhood uh quite lucky very trustworthy a very a faithful type he's of good moral of character and he's looking forward to meeting his new friends yes and we will see your character soon soon well currently we have but the one leading us to our merry arc adventure is none other than the famous thirst in human famous wow wow build me up so you can all tear me down thanks the plan that's why we love you much the conan playing hey all right so yeah yeah yeah um i am looking forward to these shenanigans and dear god intense pain i know intense pain your humongous pain manga such pain well then are we are we good to get underway yes i didn't realize my character wasn't on screen so please i told you we have the introduction i forgot he did he did don't worry they haven't seen and and he is just completely normal grudge it's pretty normal yeah yeah oh yeah all right lads or eventually begins on board the cruiser the big star smasher it's just come out of the scary space and now now it's heading towards something all you lads are in the lower decks waiting for a fighting you'll buy the rocks where they're gonna shoot the rocks down somewhere for a fight but all the cruisers running around real scared like and people are going to the bridge people are going to guns grotz are everywhere it's it's kind of a mad house on here on the ship so what are you all up to lads well well james the real thing all right i is uh checking out the book da book the book the book book da codex that i carry with me always all right all right in cases like this you've got to find the biggest orc and get advice from him it's very true now i'm not one of them book reading sorts shorter for a much more practical sort of intelligence and cunning and whatnot so instead what i was going to be doing is always just going to be sharpening me teeth and boring myself a nice juicy squig to eat take a look at my uh suckers oh boy [ __ ] i'll be fighting with as as you say that a a veritable horde of dozens of tiny gretchen begin running my ass sorry i need to get into the rock and and they they're they're just brushing past you heading towards one of the rocks with with tiny pistols and other gubbins as they they head into this what is essentially a rock with jet packs technical malfunction will someone say something to me yes absolutely a bunch of gretchen have run past you heading towards their rock stay in front of them yes watch what's that you both try to get under the rocky little grotts please understand it's a brief misunderstanding you see to get under the rock it's going to be a little ah okay oh the fee is gonna have to be your two front teeth awesome you're gonna give him to me or i'm all gonna have to tear him out myself oh let's start off right let's start off with an intimidation check that sounds spectacular we go here we go lads let's roll some intimidating forgot it's not going to be particularly hard all right now let's hope that the uh roll 20 thing is incorporate or i'll refresh the page it's taking so long i'm just a normal orc living in a wild world really i never ate a true friend that's why i bully and intimidate people that's the real math of it let's please [ __ ] roll i assume we're having an issue with the [ __ ] roller as usual extremely powerful all comedy no more no more what is [ __ ] about i was about to say i was about to come over and bless your roller okay here we go i can roll for you that's gonna have to be right three successes any complication okay um all right but i can't take him out you have to chase him out man it like opens its mouth towards you you got it everyone up in the launch and i'll be doing this for as long as it'll take so it's not just one you're taking all of them yeah collective punishment yes all right it's like a ticket booth wait who complicated here you were the grot me well i was getting to the complication part the complication part is that you're too busy doing doing this racketeering scheme as the other three lads uh take take note of someone coming into this this portion of the ship this large sort of rock hanger and as you're doing this uh speaker the there are other orcs um cretans look and cracker you see this immense figure enter into into the the deck he's in this set of powered hydraulic armor that's entirely painted blue this this large not immense like massive orc but like a large will be a boy uh walking with his powered armor moving around looking sw like knocking grotz out of the way and raises up one of his arms towards grackka holy yoda abuse oh and you recognize this as this this thing this metallic thing heads towards you as not the boss of the ship but the mech boss this is mcboss mondo here i've got a little mission for you it's real important like graca is staring at him through his very sullen very low set eyes as though he really could not care less but nods his head very slightly cracker you're the biggest grand meanest and well not the weirdest and he looks over at lark but i you you all right he's in this like again this immense sort of suit staring down at you if you didn't notice we just came out with a scary space now it didn't go too well because when we came out the captain went flying across the bridge see he hit his head real bad so when he woke up well he thought the big fart planet out there winked at him so he's real mad at it so he's having to shoot all our guns at it i don't think you can kill a fart planet that way so uh we're trying to keep the grots uh well not firing as fast as they normally should but i'm pretty sure once we're out ammo he's gonna have us ram the thing so uh we need to get onto one of these other tiny tinier planets here one of them has some umi's on it yet we can crump up real good like graca takes a second to respond very slowly with uh all right [Laughter] good good good so the only problem on this little humi uh you me moon thing is they got one of those uh sky cutter guns anything that falls from the sky they cut it down so you need to go down there and take out that gun [Music] is we taking a rock or is we walking oh you're just going to take a rock we're going to send you down to the sky so you can get down there so you can take out the sky cut a gun so that all of our other rocks can make it down [Laughter] you are both there you're you're hearing this uh do you have any questions for for mech boss mondo so far boy mondo as we drop it in under cover at night should we go it in in the daytime oh my fur the shadows well we don't get much of a choice so you're gonna fall right towards towards it in daytime so they're gonna see you coming with this sky gun how many boys coming with us oh none just you marston down a couple other rocks two or three rocks filled with gretchen only two at three gretchen that's right but don't worry don't worry i've thought of this you see i'm a thinker and he takes his big hydraulic power armored you know metal finger and puts it up to his head i'm a thinky one you see so you're probably wondering if they got a sky cut a gun why are we going down in a rock if they're gonna shoot all our rocks it's all right lads i've got a secret weapon snog come here oh boy describe what emerges from the shadows oh no alphaboosa a small little creature comes uh kind of lightly tapping his feet forward uh he something to the effect of smiles at the at the boys in the room and he he gives a small dainty little wave hi hello lads i'm the igrot that was mentioned my name's snork i'm just a little lad uh i like to think of myself as amicable hard-working and yeah quite lucky in life grecca is going to move towards the big mech looking up at him then looking down at snord and slowly looking up at the big mech then back at snorg again very slowly your secret weapons a big head crot well you see you see because i'm a smart know i am sometimes sometimes it looks like snog's face turns a bit purple and then other times it looks like it's a bit blue so what that tells me is he is both lucky and sneaky but most of the time he's green which means he's the bestest which is all the luck and the sneak you're gonna need to get down in this here rock so what'd you say well i have all the bestest colors that you need for your mission is this one gonna gotta talk the entire time i do like talking uh have you boys heard the good word by chance oh yeah get out of it all right i'm gonna go deal with the captain you lads don't have much time you gotta take out the sky gun down there in turn for us to send all of the rocks down so we can get a proper crump with the humi's down there before the captain finishes using all our ammo and tries to ram us into the [ __ ] cloud thing i'm gonna go look at that you let's get in the rock and get down there all right and if anything happens to snog i will come for you all right guys good luck and mekopos mondo turns and makes this sort of ponderous walk out in his hydraulic suit all right bye come on ed let's get over to the rocks now boy hold up hold up i didn't get paid to bring an extra one along with us well here don't worry about that i'll give you all the money that you need i'm gonna talk to the boss boss mundo he's a very nice ladies i'm gonna convince him to give you the teeth that you require uh you don't don't don't need to worry about me greco is looking down at snord very very passively shopping getting the rope great i'm very excited i was gonna smash this one oh it's gonna cramp him real cool it's got a good feeling about it is getting in the rock trying to lead everybody in yeah yeah and like the the interior of an orc rock is similar to a space marine drop pod uh just with like car seat um like belts that you can put across yourself as you sit down i actually imagine it's just like a really rickety pole in the middle but with lawn chairs duct tape to it yes like duct tape to the sides of the walls you can sit in these launchers and the straps that are like intertwining there's a each of them have a hole somewhere and some of it's shredded there's no belts it's just handlebars to hold on for dear life fair oh like the oh [ __ ] handle in a car like for the passenger to hold on to when yeah yeah yeah it's the jesus hands slightly above your head you're holding jesus's hand with it gork handle i think i think it might also be a more candle too so i i finally get to see everyone approach my rock your rock yes yes hello gentlemen what's the occasion greca is stepping forward and he steps very not intentionally he steps forward and he just straight up steps on one of the gretchen he was hassling thank you for being in here hey everyone give him a round of applause thank you for that thanks thank you i tried my best yeah you you you crush one of one of the the grotts uh under foot it's yeah how much damage do i take oh yeah um all right how can you inheritably declare yourself as dead anyway you know that was zorin [ __ ] kill shark i want to see if i get like a permanent injury that's is looking at ritz fist and does not even seem to register that he stepped on a grot he's gonna now for romeo 1d6 please okay oh god here we go ah it's a two very powerful very good very good very good um can you roll me another d6 please coming up ah one even more powerful good good good good good um you you lose your left arm i'm very glad that that that your narrative declaration has caused you guys your left arm so greca just senselessly stomps down and his arm just comes off yeah yeah like from a ragdoll it just rips off like very casually it seems like you stepped on me arm oh don't worry about it can i make a narrative declaration oh okay sure i want to grab the nearest like rebar nearest piece of metal that the end of it looks flat enough like a spatula okay oh your oats fed off don't worry i'll get you something new and i take a piece of metal and shove it into snot's little [ __ ] like armhole or whatever and [ __ ] like there you go it looks like a spatula you could cook us up some homies when we get lentil nice i like this i'm in incredible play that's great well you lads seem like a copy enough crew and just it doesn't sound very lucky to me i i should also point out for our audience um each of our characters has a special ability that is triggered off spending wrath points we'll get to them throughout this snoring special ability which is relevant here is every time he spends a rat point he can make a narrative declaration however in addition to the normal narrative declarations uh these actions will somehow filter into our main warhammer's campaign to [ __ ] over the players uh so i don't know how snork losing his arm will filter into the main campaign we'll find out together you just have like a giant piece of debris sticking out now though so that's like it moves though you can flip yumi burgers with it now ah it's a close combat weapon yeah get a slash slinging slasher now all right hockey voice thing you gotta get in the rock he's in the rock all right i understand big miss big mission from the bus you count me in and i'm going to climb into the rock alongside my new crew yeah this is the last one to get get in along with his assistant god almighty greco is just stepping forward and the the fact that he's not really paying attention to ritz is being like kind of you know when someone's like stepping behind you and like clipping your heels a little bit that's kind of what he's doing to ritz fist you all heard about roaring me coat tails but this is ridiculous knock it off all right lads everyone get in we've got ten seconds seven two the door opens and you feel the the hard press of gravity throw you all up as you are holding on for dear life as the rock begins to stumble uh you know the mortal those like more candles or gore candles uh i don't think snore could like reach them oh yeah you know you jumped up to one uh which actually you know snork you you raise a very valid point about snow um they weren't exactly built for you know his stature yeah yeah yeah i think you're slowly being crushed i think you can roll me an initiative check so for you that's just gonna be 4d6 you can just roll that and oh great let's see here uh just a side note i've never played this before oh yeah no it's okay it's fine but here we go uh we're going to teach you how it all goes as we go along here yeah just just for everyone to understand we're alpha's drinking from the water for the fire hose right now so just just give them a bit oh boy it seems like i'm having the exact same problem yeah yeah yeah the sheet is being a bit weird so just just roll for like slash r4dc yeah i am going to try to fix something up uh you're doing that in the in the chat the bottom right there we go nice too successful all right yeah two successes okay so that's enough for you to grab on to someone uh in fact for for horror sake you grab on to the same foot of graca that crushed your arm i wanna i wanna point out by the way first i'm gonna okay so i'm gonna grab a hold of it with one of my arms and and my tongue okay yes i'd like to point something out grecca is not holding any of the handles he's just sliding around on the rock oh that's good oh that's good yeah okay all right and yeah you've got your one arm on him and your tongue sort of maneuvering yeah the the tongue like the the horrible horrible alien tongue is latched onto his foot okay it's pretty good uh and then you're horrible what happens is what happens when she slides around though no no i actually i just tested it should be good now i we should be good to use the actual rules now i just restarted the api sorry uh say that again snork uh what happens uh he's he's flying around as he's as uh as grega is just kind of sliding back and forth yeah exactly you're like you're holding on your body's being tossed up how much damage do i take shut up we were gonna play a game but i guess kill alpha for six hours you'll take one wound from the from being tossed around it's not about wrath and glory anymore it's just about accruing grievous injuries you guys need to understand something i was in a game with alpha this is exactly what he did and it was awful i'm looking forward uh yeah okay so so yeah you take one point of damage like what are the rest a cretins what are what are you doing as the rock is descending i'll be the last one in someone else okay cretins haven't been deployed to a number of different planets or his many many years around the galaxy uh holding on to the gorkhan work bars pretty tightly pulls a fungus cigar out of his uh dungarees and just lights it on his pant leg you're just smoking on the way down yeah here we go again here we go here we go all right ritz fist rich richfest is recloning having a wonderful time he's gonna look over at uh let's say creighton's as you say so i'll assume the reason we're launching is because the mech boss has some kind of common plan to get past that umi defense grid yeah yeah he's uh he's cutting planes right on the rock and creighton's will look down towards snork you're looking at that sliding around and stuff is fighting like a hockey puck and while this is happening he slides past ritz fist and says no not really richford suddenly understands that he's about to die so he is going to quickly excuse himself and he is going to uh walk towards the back near one of the prometheus or one of the uh puny [ __ ] and i'm gonna go ahead and make a uh tech check to make our descent a lot bloody faster to avoid them defense grids yeah sure give me give me attack check there we go four successes and that's a glory dare warbles yeah um you you are uh you are able to to like activate the the emergency double boosters by pressing the big red button and your rock begins a much faster burn down and almost as if on cue out of i assume these things just have basic windows on them you're looking outside and you just see uh not even a window like a side window like there's a big face like like the the art we maybe have here it's a rock but there's a big metal orc face plate and ritz fist you're kind of at the eye pressing the big red button looking out as one of the these smaller rocks descending with you explodes under a hail of gunfire looks to be like four distinct waves that sort of move in this swaying pattern have hit it and caused it to explode but you're um you're hitting the boosters seems to have uh made the journey a bit easier they're not gonna get rich face back and uh not even a thousand years i mean everything is for gentlemen uh lord you this is all going on what are you doing this this rock ain't going fast enough rich fists we gots to go even faster nearly where you think instantaneously i grab our grottling friend i grabbed him and i can grab him off my leg as i pass by use a lucky one right okay so his tongue was like firmly attached to the foot how much damage do i take [Laughter] [Music] anything is done with a snork but a very robust very muscular you will be very symmetrical okay don't like that you'll be playing this character for at least the next 10 minutes [Laughter] yeah so he has very firmly around the foot of graca for what that's worth oh yeah oh yeah so so yeah um like small embryonic organisms just kind of pouring out like covering his foot yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely yeah that might be that might be happening so uh okay so i'm ripped off i grabbed hold of you and i'm looking at you guys he's a lucky one right oh yeah i'm sure i i am very lucky i am you looks lucky that he's gonna help me do something really lucky i'm sorry what did you say sorry i gargle too much for it i said you're gonna help me do something really lucky oh boy i want i want to narrowly declare because i i assume i'm going to look out the window and i assume i see the uh the ground obviously but we're still a good distance away i assume yeah but i could see all the defense guns or whatever but yeah there's one on a big hill that's just seeming to blow up everything so so i might see like i don't know like a convoy of like lehman russes near like a bunch of explosives or some [ __ ] i don't know and and i'm just like i really don't like them takes that's really gonna mess us up when we get there and i just gotta destroy them so i've gots a plan the plan that we're currently going at a high velocity currently at this speed but once we reach the ground we are not going to be going that velocity so if all if i do's that are something weird and teleport us right on top within russes the rock's gonna smash them real good like so i cast i cast the jump on the rock and i want to cast so this is this is hard as [ __ ] so i want to cast a jump on the rock to teleport the rocket at current velocity to change his trajectory to basically be on top of the lehman russes so when we land at a high velocity we destroy all the lehman russes but we'll be fine because he's lucky okay oh um would you would you are you going to cast that normally or are you going to others okay so now you have a special ability lork okay um that you that you have which is you can spend one wrath die okay and then roll a number of extra equal to the number of orcs within 10 meters in this case it would be ritzvist mr crispin graka um snorg you'd get five bonus dice but all of these would count as wrath dice uh can i can i do a leadership so i can try to maybe improve his role how wait how the [ __ ] is your art gonna encourage me simple he's going to slide by you and say you better do this or i'll crump you i'll take take it i just love that you're like i'll give you a pairing oh gee and a glory yeah like and i just love the idea that yeah you're just sliding across the floor and your eyes like meet with with the terrifying mask of lorcan are just like you're gonna do this or i'll cramp you he says that as he steadily gets quieter as he slides away he's gonna talk inside of the rock are you going to use the the the wrath point to uh to do the the crazy superpower of the joke i mean i i i i i'll say yes because as much as i want to keep it to rerolling being the potential failures it's basically like i it's a narrative it's such [ __ ] that i don't it's reasonable absolutely so boneless five roma's bonus breath die right nice yes okay and uh can i use our one glory [Laughter] we got two glories oh do we yeah there should be two there should be two okay yeah okay so two glory i'll i'll pump it into that so bloop bloop come on character sheet okay i don't think i have any other bonuses right uh just uh just the five extra dice you're gonna have it should be in five six seven okay all right yeah yeah yeah okay good luck everybody i have no more wrath die there we go campaign here we go here we go here we go with no perils carol's a single one of those i'm so impressed good job so um first off tell do i succeed i need to know that before i continue with with a 10 you will succeed i will let you get away because you've also spent two wrath to do a bunch of narrative declaration [ __ ] and you have a lucky crowd and you got a bonus from the leadership of graca it's drive by your ship i'm grabbing are you ready for a ride snork uh i'm not understanding anything but i appreciate it i shake him finally and began to do a chance and everything into like like saying him finally going you must get with us now you almost get ready to go and then we teleport immediately and and the page is quite positively horrifying the teleportation in this i i want to set the scene here you have about a half dozen rocks that are now falling two more of them explode in this scene this were now an exterior shot of the rock and the teleportation in this case isn't like the rock disappears or anything like that in this case and like ethereal like green fist appears in the sky of this moon grabs the rock and like basically slams it down but then arcs at the last minute so that it's now running like parallel to the ground right on top of these tanks and your rock when it was once going down is now going horizontally and crushes through the the top three tanks of this tank column uh the only three tanks in it uh the the immense sort of metallic face ramming into them and smashing the messiah excuse excuse me [Laughter] as i was fighting yeah and so this rock just tears through these three tanks and uh ritz fish you're seeing all this because you're still in the command having just pressed the red button so the rock hits and on the third tank it starts to wobble a bit and you find now the rock is bouncing off of the hillside and falling down what appears to be the side of a cliff after having completely destroyed the tank column of three oh that tanks good all right all right we need to be able to activate the gravity thing and uh just stop falling i'm gonna smash the special stop falling buttons on the brake and iron stone sure the stop button you see you see rick smith's time oh it's a complication but it's two successes i got a crazy question before before can i can graco just like walk out the exit door like as it's doing its tumbling thing and he's fine so he walks onto the cliff before it falls off you're well off the cliff but you could probably like you're a big boy you could slide out one of the open doorways if you want to like as as the button is being pressed to stop you could just slide out uh what would i do to grab the wall um i mean once you're at the wall you can just put your claw into it this is actual rocks i think i'm imagining what he's imagining to like imagine this thing tumbling but it tumbles in a way to where he just takes one step out onto the ground the other foot comes out but it's just like so smooth and just casual oh yeah yeah no no you're gonna have no problem with this crack guy like you're you're fine in fact the complication that risk fist just got is the rock is now tumbling you're all sort of like flying around except for graka who is so weighty he's just still sliding you hit the button gritzfest the stop button and all the stop button does is it fires all the thrusters in every direction at once except the complication is that the current thrusters that are facing like that are pushing you away from the surface sputter and die so only the ones that are pushing you down to the surface are active and so the rock just goes cough funk into the ground um at a very like quick descent angle all of you are tossed about inside the rock except for graka who finishes sliding just to come out into a murky swamp area i hate swamps [Laughter] that's what i'll call a landing boys all right you make a foreign crew indeed you weird boy boy what i'm going to reach into my coat and i'm going to take out ten minted teeth i'm gonna place him in his hand now there's plenty more without where that's coming from i want you to join me crew all they joined the crew wrote as long as you keep the teeth coming there's a reason they call me rich fish boys now wish that come out bloody hell i could sign the commando oh he's quite good too let's start looking for him i start looking under rocks like pick up a rock it's like tiny like don't say me you all start like walking outside of the rock itself yeah we're presumably i don't know if if creighton's actually hiding it but i don't see him that's important creighton's is most definitely nowhere to be seen standing outside as a monolith to orcoid depression i'm going to assume that i'm still held by lork and that he's just completely forgotten about it so like you're like a banana yeah probably by the throat i make a narrative declaration he's holding him by i'm going you don't need to make a narrative declaration every time you get help kirsten don't feed into his [ __ ] why he's making a narrative declaration i bid you i i want to know how snork being held like a like a banana by lork will somehow [ __ ] over the man warhammer's party i'll allow it alpha you're not doing it right i hate you i'm playing bad on purpose all right so morgan are you are you following graca outside into the swamp as well yeah yeah i'm drawn into boys yeah so you you walk out holding holding snoring in your one free hand well your other one is i'm dragging him his face is just going just getting slicked by just all the swamp mud his spatula arms knocking against things oh yeah he's in intense intense pain in about a smooth moment snoring disappears from lorik's hand i kind of looked up my hand all right snow we gotta wait a minute where'd he go oh at that moment lurk may realize the bubbling coming from behind him in the bayou as very slowly cretin's head bandana rises from the buck oh my gosh is this like an arnold schwarzenegger predator moment oh he's hitting me element and it raises up his right arm again by his head now that's a sneaky gay oi what's your name creighton's creighton swap ten teeth you won't i want you to join me crew and play more where that came from i'll tell you what always i always appreciates the offer but if yours travis don't take you the same ways as i do i might not have time to join your crew oh but always consider it considering proper offer all right oh consider a yes with a possibility of no layer but for now i'm just gonna hear yes and we'll work it out later all right now where's that big old guys he's around here somewhere no doubt so greg is just like just just around the corner of the rock having emerged now as this is all going on i want to describe if you've emerged into a swamp there's pools of green liquid around that bubble and there's this constant like like hissing almost acidic uh sense to the area it looks like even the like creations you'd notice from being in like some of the body area nearby that some of your clothing is dissolving just a little bit like it's not not not like eating your skin or anything you're you're too hearty of a boy for that but you can see that there's like a little bit of acid in some of the waters here enough to damage my gear no no no no like if you were spending days in it maybe now your rock has crashed it has become this sort of just like smoke stack in the middle of the jungle and you're you're all like hearing some of the these these sounds of wildlife but but cretins you you hear something nearby in the distance some kind of some kind of chortling cry from the bushes nearby [Music] it sounds like a lot well boys kids quiet down i've seen these ones before real ugly kids real tough skin but they taste real good all right let me talk to him and as you you say this cretans something emerges to this little cleft above you this large reptilian creature that struts out on four legs it has a crocodilian appearance with large beady red eyes uh where is it exactly in relation to let's let's find out together there's seem to be several of them now it's really close we surrounded the poor bastards [Laughter] let him come i've got lots of docker waiting for him oh you's gonna make a noise pacer look for me i assume i hate crocodiles i assume i would get startled by it right again i would i still would get startled by the uh appearance of these of these creatures right oh oh like abs absolutely they are like fear inducing but they they've surprised you can i make a narrative declaration oh yes to be afraid of the crocodile no i mean i need to have a reaction to the fear and my reaction to the fear is grabbing snog and grabbing him by the leg and then using him as like a deterrent device by hitting the [ __ ] crocodile you can put me like right by him for the logic for this to happen like like [ __ ] and then just i'm immediately just hitting him with snog or snoring wait wait so you're like you're wanting to rush up to snort grab snork and toss it at the crotalid like up on the slide let's say i was just casually walking over to him and i'm all like oh hey snark and [ __ ] look at this that [ __ ] and then just merely grab him and start beating the [ __ ] out of it with snoring okay yeah yeah i'll allow that mark mark yourself down to wrath cool cool so uh snore are you resisting this oh no absolutely not good okay so do i need to roll weapons uh yeah yeah use uh weapon skill and we'll say snark is an attack you have okay cool i like uh you are going to strike this crocodilian creature with with snork now are you channeling like like snorgas is a different kind of kind of orcoid creature you're not sure he's a bit he's a bit strange are you like using him like a horse weapon yeah totally channeling your psychic channel his body energy into him to do extra damage yes yeah i'll oh just just make an attack roll as though he were your force staff muscular body you mean you want me to roll the damage of hit yeah yeah so you should have a weapon on your character sheet if you go under combat at the bottom you have demork stick yeah roll the damage of demork stick uh 11 damage ap1 very nice so uh yeah you you quite uh hurt this creature uh so crack this is a good weapon it is you're really always lucky snoke it's it's bleeding and its head kind of cowls back from this it responds are you are you hitting its face by chance top of its head yeah alpha abusive makes a narrative declaration to be bitten by the crocodile well can i go next if one of you is interrupted to go next unless everyone wants to spend the glory to seize the initiative so you can do that yeah uh no uh go first i i recommend doing so we get a lot of why yeah yeah yeah you take take c seize the initiative here totally if you want to go totally lucky okay i seized the initiative right so i want snorg to uh kind of drop out of uh lork's hand and attach itself to the uh crotalin's face and try to uh perform the jean steelers kiss on it oh ab abs are you [ __ ] me are you gonna stir this [ __ ] psychic warp teleporting across galaxy's [ __ ] to be a jean stealer um you're gonna see uh one of your weapons yeah i think you know the one i'm talking about um i need you to roll the attack dice uh it should just be the the black dice symbol uh in that line all right uh this one i hope oh god great oh good yeah zero complication you failed and completely powerful all right yeah this is avid positor yeah to desperately attempt to uh smooch the crotalid to implant the embryonic organism and yeah what happens so so this is a complication uh i am going to say that um in the attempt and the fact that lorca has kind of bashed you around and you're you're sort of disoriented from being used as a weapon um it's just gonna call this complication tongue tied in that your of a positor is kind of like tied up a bit right now causing you to have some difficulty talking as well oh nice all right all right that's perfect probably uh and of course there was this romantic look between you and the crotalit briefly of course yeah i'm happy it appreciated that it's going to go now can it attack snoring instead of me narrative declaration it's it's going to attack snark instead of you yes that's why he's lucky he's an oxfield now this is [Laughter] i think snoring's defense is still low enough that that will hit though what is snore's defense alpha oh uh let's see under combat and attributes touch the combat tab yeah uh toughness too or was it no no sorry yeah please come back go into the top left yeah one two z combat tab the third tab there ah here we are okay yeah it's three okay so oh my god the crotalit will still hit you um but it's gonna have a complication so the complication here is that the way it's biting you um is still going to allow for your avapositor to do its thing what are you i mean it's coming in to bite you and like you've got like this tied up off the positor but it's basically trying to bite your head off so it's giving you a bigger kiss but it's not expecting what you're laying down okay all right how much damage do i think let's find out um oh uh 14 points of damage which uh wow may just like brutalize you let's find out we go into your combat your resilience is three so so you'll only take ten points which is still enough to kill you uh all determination yeah real determination for me help him out with the [ __ ] where that is uh yeah so it'll be under combat anything on combat is going to be under the combat tab so just uh there's a determination uh there should be a role on the right hand side right on the right hand side ah there you go let's say determination and then black dice oh it works that's great okay so you stop one so you're you're going to um to take nine points of damage uh which will be enough to just immediately take you down um and then you will suffer a memorable injury oh [ __ ] yeah all right uh your memorable injuries do you now have a uh what was that do i get a table to roll off of or is this oh yeah roll me a d6 yeah romeo d6 i'll let you do this one perfect uh this is a a twitch so whatever this thing did will now cause you to twitch irritably for the rest of the adventure uh and you are now at zero wounds and your shock goes down by one i'll mark that here for you hey jackasses who's got medicaid because i sure [ __ ] don't know what's a medicaid good yuck [Music] all right so uh that was that was that was the crotalid um who would like to go next oh okay oh yes i i suggest that uh ritz fist or the commando whose name i'm so i'm very sorry the name escapes me creighton sorry oh actually my apologies um zoran can you mark me down a rune point please sure uh also for context i i'm not enabling or bring it up anymore because for some reason the key binding to do that switches my scenes for no [ __ ] reason oh weird you're okay you're just there for now but yeah you're done okay okay perfect um i am using the i'm using the ability really quick uh crikey it bit me whenever a crotland successfully hits a target in melee uh it is now restrained as the crotalit has a snoring in its mouth i'll see things a little bit desperate for our tiny little friend and so rather than unleash this lovely lovely ducker that i'm gonna save for the umis i'm gonna climb to the top of the rock right right and i the these are the engines right the exhaust yeah i am going to in town with their sputtering give out a big all you gets get ready to intimidate interaction i'm trying to try to intimidate all these crotalids as i fire into the air with my snazz okay sure give me give me an intimidation check you got it bush i like that snork is getting like eaten alive and your reaction is to like climb up the side of the rock and shoot into this oh that's two in a complication uh i assume that doesn't succeed so in that case i will spend a wrath reroll sure okay seven and a complication i am terrifying so so yeah the the the crowds are definitely somewhat cowed by this uh you have the option of lowering their defense or making it harder for them to hit you um i think that uh i was hoping to give them a few condition but uh if that is the case i will lower their defense okay yeah like they're they're they're they're kind of cowed i mean the fear condition is the same thing as giving penalty it's mechanically yeah yeah um but but the the complication is of course as you get up on top of the rock to shoot into the air firing wildly you lose your first of three ammo oh what a shame uh which is a very flash gets thing to do yeah that's not good uh i'm going to go and one of the crowd leds is just going to head up towards you that's my go who would like to go next uh greetings oh cracker crates would love to go go [ __ ] save our [ __ ] funny guy freedom okay uh cretins will put a big midi finger up to the commute communicator who's here i'd say commencing gratuis mission before sinking into the muck and disappearing i hate you so much okay i would like to uh utilize my cutting cutting cutting and spend a wrath die to appear above the crota lid but yeah you just appear in the sky above it absolutely so mark uh mark uh hulky down a wrath point please there's something called you guys like to there you go okay hulky's ability really quick so you're aware what cretins here can do is he can spend a raft point to teleport anywhere on the in the area like in the battlefield uh and then replace at his original location a um a cardboard copy of himself that still may distract enemies okay perfect uh so creighton's you appear in the sky and you can still make an attack as normal as i drop down onto the crow lid i would like to use my weapon skill to violently vivisect this creature and attack him with my uh the gate sticker my chopper can i convince him to not kill him [Laughter] i like the idea that you're in this thing's mouth screaming getting ripped apart you're like wait wait hey it's a five are you happy with that i don't like that response well the defense was lowered so i mean you can you can hit it it'll it'll still hit i'm just not sure if you were wanting to fish for for more sixes or something um i mean if you want to do mega mondo damage but you're still gonna hit it uh it's it's defense is significantly lowered you'll actually be able to shift one so okay i'll i'll shift the one for now okay very nice of the big pinch the big pancho as uh took damage before two so its resilience is pretty loud okay yeah uh you're hurting it it looks real bad like real close to death here still up but it's it's not looking good like you come and slice down its entire back it uh it it shouts out in pain um okay who would uh that's that one uh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah mark mark down that glory and go forth uh greca is going to what is my speed actually because i actually never looked at my speed don't worry about it just don't worry about it just tell me what you want to do there's no don't worry i'm going to just go i'm going to charge this chronolone yep and i would like to if possible do a full attack uh yeah yeah you can't charge an full attacker you can charge and attack so you're you're all good there um and yeah okay so you get a uh for chart you get a charge bonus on the attack as well so so i will jump my uh bonus two hit dice up by one oh yeah okay here is the one thing he is exceptionally good at let's see what happens wow he gets an eight i think i could do way better than that so i'm going to wrath that oh okay i could do a 10. so you can shift both of those dice to damage okay so that's two bonus dice for damage now this is gonna be the fun part because i have a power claw and i have not rolled something that has this many numbers behind it high brain lifestyle brother that'll be 15 damage with ap 3 see what the crowd's got going on uh so that'll bring its resilience down to six so nine points and it has um so you one shot the chronology as you rush towards it how you brutalize it i want to point out he's not even like charging he's like charging but like not he's very slowly running so it's like a jog he like jogs over to it and it like latches up to try and bite him and he just puts his claw around the head and squeezes it until it pops it is dead all right um uh that's that's that uh you've ceased to do that i will go uh this cradle it here down down to the south charges the cardboard cutout of cretans and makes a bitey attack on the cardboard cutout that body attack will unfortunately complicate let's do a cardboard thing how do you complicate it against the card oh i know exactly he's going to stop no no no no no he's gonna he's gonna suffer because the cardboard cutout gets stuck in his teeth and so like his upper jaw now has this cardboard cutout that's flat on it very tough cardboard rushing over to the rock and that gets confused like as it's like can i climb up here but can't climb up and that is the end of the first combat round the start of the second combat round which of the players would like to go first may i go first sure i just want to clear that with everyone first is that cool if kraka goes yeah you can go okay uh graco's gonna charge this one absolutely i like hitting kraken just like running up for a buckler express so i get another i get another bonus because of the charge also uh i should remind uh some of you i didn't have it properly written you get an extra bonus die to your attacks with all of your weapons because they all have the wah property and orcs get plus one attacked oh so i actually should okay so add a bonus attack die to all of your weapons basically okay i'm gonna roll again so you'll get two bonus attacked i hear oh geez that's 12. that'll be uh three shifts you can do one two three so three bonuses died brock might die we'll we'll see what happens i roll a 19 oh this one he just like he just like very quickly slams the fist down and smashes it he's not having this he's unless it's a horrifying cry and then falls down quite quite quite dead all right perfect um technically i go you have some glory or any of you i would like to interrupt yes yeah okay absolutely all right can you get i'm not gonna get showed up on this bloody knob i'm a working man's knob and i'm going to take out my snazz gun and shoot me yeah shoot no i'm cleaning up my snazz gun and i am going to begin all right first shot this guy climb it up are you are you okay are you are you spending the wrath to do your special thing that was the most moist daca i've ever heard is that like you were gargling full of water gonna spend one rare point to shoot t3 additional tones with no multi-attack penalties all right roll d3 oh roy so two more times so okay you do these one at a time so what's your first target first target i'm gonna get out that little man over there okay so right here all right he didn't get this is somewhat important so i'm going to spend the glory uh dead my attack pool that's four of shocks uh five will hit all right ten rolling snaze gun damage thirteen sir yeah 8p2 that will that that drops the crotal head that has cretans standing on it and like you just clutter bullets all along its side and it deflates like a balloon so cretans is just standing on its back are you killed you stole me sucking kills choppers right you know that [Laughter] don't worry i'll owe you one won i'm going to open fire here okay [Laughter] let's go five successes uh i'm going to shift shift one shift one all right that'll be 12 damage i pay two okay okay it's still up it's it takes a bun a scoring bash of hits onto it some of them going through the cardboard cretans still in its mouth leave some for the rest of me boys and the last one just feller up here right that's three in a complication sir all right so your your three will just hit the complication will cause you to run out of ammo again oh um leaving you with with an ammo left and the snazz gun will send a whole bunch of shells onto it it damages it it seems to still be doing pretty okay but it's taken a fair amount of damage all right boys the rest is all yours um i will go uh the one at the base of the rock is going to attempt absolutely all right the complication is that it's going to walk into a burner and be caught on fire the fire will sadly affect it on subsequent turns but it is now on fire i love that uh so this flaming this cruddling climbs up the side it's like ignited and on fire and comes to bite at you ritz first well that's not proper uh four little barely yet all right all right and then oh most of the jaws things are complicated jeez yeah yeah this should be all the complications sent out you know could i get okay could i get could i could the complication be i get to hit it no what no hybrid now uh it's gonna do 13 with ap minus one well that is quite dangerous so i'll be wrong absolutely that's all right all right um isn't good so yeah so so that's going to be seven wounds onto me ow you little crop or on me good coat too and uh its complication from the bite attack is that it is now seemingly lost sight of you in the fog so it's trying to find out where you are after biting like bites and then yeah it's it's really out of sorts now the smoke of its cooking delicious flesh giving you even more penalties to its defense all right who would like to go next crates would like to go all right and pay him back for stealing his zombie kill i'd like to spend the wrath die at the teleport yet again oh yeah absolutely this time behind the crotalib where cretans will attempt to literally scorpion the damn thing and just rip its spine out via its tail which chronolod the one on our dear oh [ __ ] amazing amazing you want to teleport to there oh yes i'm oh there's two of them yeah there you are oh yeah yeah no i'm new he's just getting out of hand no no no sorry i'm this is the cardboard one that i'm leaving behind now there's one that's smarter than this apparently not all right so you appear beside the chronology like somehow you just appear in the in the steam of the rock like coming out i'm visually obscured i will appear there and ritzmast has now been bitten and like staggered back this thing is severely wounded in the crudle is on fire and then ritz fist from like the side of it you see another boy come in to come into view took you long enough i'll save this one for you without saying a word he will attack without a straight weapon skull i'm just going to kind of grab at it yeah i enjoy it is our very own scp that's a five uh yeah just use your uh use your chopper damage for this too sure [Music] a little bit it's still it's still up uh unless you'd want to spend some glory to buff that may i spend some glory to do something cool what would you like to like do because remember you can spend glory for extra damage that that is the idea so if you would like to how much would you like to spend you said i heard it a little bit right yeah so like what kind of number are you looking at putting in here to see if you can put this thing down t uh can i can i pump four glory into this sure yeah yeah all right here goes i just assume this is what happens you appear in the smoke behind it like a cardboard version like cut out of cretans come pop springs out of the the first crotalits back as you like dive into its innards and then appear in the smog on the rock several meters away uh coming out with your choppa tearing the back of this crotalid open and then using your other hand to rip out its spine or whatever counts as a crowled spine i'm sure it has some kind of spinal system that you can scorpion but yes uh with for glory you quite murder this crowd now we're even um i guess that's my go uh okay uh the last one here is going to wha uh oh yeah you do have some glory now so you can interrupt yes god look at the pond him let's look at that store going snorland's gonna need your help on this one give me your energy raise your hand to the sky in your spatula and i'm starting up i'm stuck in here just do it in all there i assume i see two little arms come out the side of the mouth well you see an arm and a match yeah i wanted a spatula yes my god got me right lucky then do i get any bonus diet for my lucky grot um i'll i'll give you one one bonus die awesome i cast zap at the crotalit bottom right of me on the map oh zap here we go i believe right and as i roll it i'm basically liking i'm basically like enlarking mork in gokenborg i'll stop you guys and then basically just zap the [ __ ] out of them and then the damage is going to be it says one yeah plus three additional damage dies let me yeah let me do this so one yeah let me just throw three of them aptly hyped up uh you can also shift uh three here or sorry uh two here for one extra damage so you can roll another d6 as well awesome we'll do that then so one two three more additional damage so uh basically 17 14 plus three yeah yeah 17 total uh the green eye the green lightning arcs out from your stamp with tiny tiny little arcs coming out of the the hand and the spatula coming out of the crocodile behind you uh and just pour into this thing and there's a moment where it stares at you looking up in shock some kind of animalistic fear uh its eyes meeting with your mask lork and and you know the cardboard of cretin's still in its mouth and then the scales and meat underneath begin to dissolve and it explodes dr manhattan's style into just nothing excellent thanks for the help growth that's the end of my time i have an incredible prayer good and with that the last of the crowdlines are defeated means you're lucky great uh gm now that the battle has thoroughly ended yes i want to have it so that uh graca is going to get up on top of the rock just behind uh ritz fist and he's going to go over to the now like burnt up uh crocodilian he's going to pull off a leg with his claw and just eat he's munching he's very hungry well it's excellent performing saturday mr crocker i'm gonna reach to my coat which is now stained with a little bit of blood now he's ten teeth tell me more where that came from and enter chronology eats the teeth all right i think that is a yes we've got us a crew boy okay took me a little bit harder forward rich fist yeah crackers got a right idea eat these ones you'll gain them gain the inside know how to navigate your swamps here cretins will also tear off a leg and also begin tearing off the head of this crotalit and scrimshawing it into a nice headpiece as you're doing this one thing you notice cretans is in the distance some ways away are another dozen or so of these crotalids but but they turn and see the devastation rot by you and your companions and almost like shaking their their reptilian heads they turn and they begin to to step into the swamp but when they step into the swamp it's not like they go into the muck or into into any of the water here instead they begin shifting as though as though disappearing as though walking away out of reality so that they can later emerge into a swamp on some [ __ ] hive city and then bite the [ __ ] out of pie brain they were just like [ __ ] this [ __ ] i'm out yeah and they they just all have migrated away this is [Laughter] i'm not doing that [ __ ] you crazy get me out of here find me some smaller guys find me a very small inquisitor and a very angry mechanical man absolutely they related who's there and coming out from the tree line to the east is a group of gretchen 20 of them watch it watch it well if it ain't me uh ah just a bunch of runs well my name is kevin ritzfest and i'll be your boss for the evening okay now the first order of beef dish is any of you gretchen or really patch up someone in a jiffy yes we we can patch up anything well excellent i happen to need some individuals to be admiring my magnificent physique and there's so weird little boy over there with a dumbo lead and he's lost his arm to get somewhere to get it to [ __ ] she said okay we should do but but first we need to we need to build a base where you got a base ear in the bloody rock and then they nod and stuck work on your villagers nice and strong you gave me a stronghold and um i think all right guys i just got to get you together welcome to the dawns of all tutorial in this tutorial i was going to be teaching you how to be an advice we're simply can't immerse myself on this because it's not entirely in my left ear all right if you don't want to eat if you tell real it's alright all you got to do is hit this grot here pointing that snoring you can go to the menu how much how about how much damage you take five mental damage how many moons do i take from the tutorial so much damage all right we're gonna take five minutes everybody we'll be right back with the orc see you see you in a bit welcome to the dawn of war tutorial by listening to me and reading the text that appears in this message box you will learn how to play a skirmish game welcome back to warnham's everyone that was the most cursed evil spell we could have passed upon the world your death comes in 15. you should be glad i think that bit cost us 80 viewers 82 excuse me damn i greatly greatly appreciated the fact that ernville had this like massive delay it worked out on my end it's okay yeah welcome back thurston i think swede's getting a base that's right that's right so in the uh the few minutes we've been on break the gretchen have been hard at work assembling various base building structures though they have now come up to your your group all of your wounds have been restored by by by expert gretchen medics um though any permanent injuries such as special arms or twitches uh remain um however however the the these group of gretchen have approached you so there are some choices that need to be made and we're not big enough to make them we're all right i'll be willing to listen to you supplications and all that so we can build a boy's heart i'll let you have more boys we experience minefields that goes boom if someone comes here we could make some war banners i'll get that'll keep keep everyone motivated between fights and acts like healing lights or we can build an ammo bin that'll let you get more ammo for your guns you can pick two of these [Music] it's part of a skirmish game only way every single weird it'll grow all right now here's the thing [Laughter] lads i've got two propositions for you all the first one is we just build a bunch of minefields that's very funny now here's the real one we get a boy's hat they get some lads on the ground all right then we get us an ammo dump which will be good for a ducker but also probably wouldn't be too hard to uh uh improvise some uh additional tricks whatever lark doesn't care because they never added a weird boy hut sure yeah he's not in this game yeah i'm not in this he's kind of fades away let's go bye now he'll be back get the boys happy we need more make me wait and eat some more orcs yeah we need some more orchards and we need some more dhaka there i wonder so damn i have a bunch of teeth right yes i'm a rich man what do you think possible through the use of persuasion or intimidation to motivate these gretchen to construct a third building uh that is a that is a very very impressive uh demonstration so i would say that's that's going to be requiring narrative declaration uh in order to to properly motivate our our little lads we all get no problems with it all right i'm going to grease some palm spender wrap here i'm going to say look here you gets rich fish back ender don't go a bloody place without a zogging bunch of tricks so you're gonna build us a voiceover you're gonna build us an ammo dump and then we's gonna get us some of those banners so people know that it's me cat and rich fitz that's in charge of this place now you're gonna get to it you can get to it right here and he's a couple of teeth oh oh geez we can use those to stave off the beatings okay yeah sometimes yeah don't get too ahead of yourself and and they they begin they begin taking taking the teeth and running off to uh hit buildings with hammers which magically pop up out of nowhere and by the end of it if you have yourselves de bois hut a wall banner for healing and an m open the ammo bin allows you to restore your ammo so ritz fist you get all your ammo back so you now are no longer in complete worry of losing all of your shots uh the boys hut is assembled but just know boys here yeah you'll have to call boys graca your ability to summon boys is now upgraded oh good yes the thing i shall use you may now summon ten boys good when whenever you narratively declare and finally the the healing is something that will occur uh between encounters very good well i'm gonna say this is a nice little base we made for ourselves don't you think boys uh greco is gonna take his non-power claw his basically his flash gun burner and he's going to kind of jab uh ritz fist and the shoulder with it oh that didn't help you crocker he's going to point his power fist up at the top of the cliff we rolled off of yes there is a there is a gun that is firing still into the sky we're supposed to be up there as a matter of fact we are but have no worries we gonna be up day in just a few moments all we've got to do is come up with a cannot and cannon plan i was just gonna walk yeah well that's we could also do that but just think of it we saw there's a bunch of tanky things up there roy now we crushed a bunch but they're gonna be waiting for us you see so if we just walk there we're not gonna have the element of surprise and you know who's the best bloody kid oh no that's good it's surprising folks i don't care all right but listen anyway queens yay he's behind me i assume of course [Laughter] all right we need to put our aids together now i know a few things about building things fit a little time as a mech boy don't want to talk about it too much but i do know that with our two heads together we can come up with a cunning plan to launch our scorer boys all up in those zoomies up over that cliff who's gonna need a lot of explosives little rocks to make sure they don't die blow up when you launch the cannon and most importantly he's got to find a way to use whatever's going to happen to them the cover for us which needs to get to that killing it don't matter how many boys we throw at him ain't enough flashing whole soul in galaxy didn't keep and get from the enemy chopper i don't have to go up the bridge bridge eh yeah yes we saw some way down you look in the the gretchen points up to the hills sort of sloping up and then there's a stone bridge there's umi's there lots of humies they protect the way up to the sky cutter gun let's cramp them and go on in all right there are many umi's that exactly assume we need to bridge up and we can't go smashing it inch then just um four decides to say it's a lot roy we're pulse fools it's more than always expected we're gonna have to [Laughter] i've got us a plan but we're gonna need to move some of them engines from that their rock now if we go and get our way past the bridge then i'll say the best way to do it with our enemies getting us in their sights and loading up on us with a bunch of docker get noise into smashing range where you blokes do oh so well i'll show you you have to go into the bridge yes we're gonna make a smoke screen okay it's very important to take the bridge the the gretchen leans in towards you there's a strategic point there boy a strategic point is that you bought a power node no we need to get ourselves a power node yes there are no power nodes oh well you know quite frankly i prefer them oily scored sizes as someone who doesn't play rts i'm frothing victory just build some generators let's see if we can get a thermo pool somewhere right spending too much time here i'm gonna need you cracker to use the big old gubbins and i'm gonna need you to have to get some bits off right there rock we're gonna load it into a wagon or we're gonna float it in look you can flow it in can't you we're calling this dlc he can't talk look oh gladio i'm gonna i'm gonna uh take out 15 teeth would someone like to spend a rat point to declare they bought the dlc don't worry i got put back as a mold oh i'm gonna take my teeth back oh you has been spending too much time around rich fish he's learning the old free booting uh hey gm grecka hates this bit so he's gonna go to the rock and get the thrusters off it absolutely i just appreciate you going up to the rock and just just ripping off the engine with holding it your club coming back depositing it so what are we doing in a wagon what yes we need to build a wagon to put this into voice and i'm going to work on it's going to create a bloody big smoke screen that umi's ain't going to be able to see it's gonna make it way easier for us to get nice and sneaky like and pluck them right good hey i was there i was pretty good at stealth myself yeah like conan you know yeah i can work on this smoke screen you looking down at the nearest gretchen you're just gonna help me who's gonna what it's snoring snog you're gonna help you seem to have the blessing of mark [ __ ] he twitches horrible will grab snorg by the leg and start walking back into the shadows his snoring is screaming in pain the good word my chance and eventually the screaming will just stop even though he's walking into the shadow which a wall is probably a foot into the door as you can imagine that creighton's has a a simpsons bush always near him yeah when homer simpson falls back into it he always emerges and escapes in it no matter where he is it's just a bush there it's a bush of opportune hiding mm-hmm it's his scp calling oh my god if there is a shadow there is darkness he is there excellent um all right so the the horror wagon assembly begins um [Music] what's pulling or like pushing this wag army of grotz yeah yep uh can we just have a great wait what about those what about those cool new squig hogs that's all the spells oh the new model yeah oh yeah guys we're not sponsored by wire gw hey guys can i just push it instead of having to product placement they don't pay me where the [ __ ] so we're you're pushing it all right crackers you're gonna have to use your games workshop brain power claw walking around he's been selling those guys our bodies morph into ultramarine intercessors the green memphis guys please we're getting so far off the rails i know okay okay let's come let's come to earth we'll have garaka do it uh do you need to me i guess me and creighton should work together too assembly yes uh what what [ __ ] skill do you want to say you're using for assembling this well i've got myself a tech skill generally you do you do uh how you can give me a tech skill let's say the difficulty is i don't know four that sounds about right all right i'll be spending two glory on this if you gently don't know oh it's fine go right in let's see if what happens oh that's gonna be a 5. excellent excellent you you managed to assemble the body of this uh this horror creighton's wagon you've got snorg with you and you're trying to develop the like the smoke belching implements that will be on this is that right correct we're he's making him extra stealthy extra sneaky what skill are you going to use uh clearly i'm going to use my stealth to demonstrate how to be properly stealthy so that we can achieve the desired effect on this smokescreen i would like to ask a question real quick alpha does snorg have skills being wounded uh good [ __ ] question let's see what can he do if you go to the skills tab anything with a uh like number in the rainbows you have training well he sure is aware of things he's your skill monkey by the way he has a lot of insight and he is good at deception and he is quite stealthy actually can they roll survival uh i'm i was about to say let's let's have uh let's have cretans uh roll the stealth first because i don't even know if snork wants to help or if snoring is going to be trying to proselytize no so yeah yeah he's trying to convince cretins so make me the stealth czech greens there it is three and a glo what is your stealth three i hate you you don't make the character be nice to him cool uh and uh snork you are uh you are proselytizing or are you helping with this yeah is there a seduction skill i'm [Music] deception okay good yeah all right uh so i you roll poorly on deception well yeah you can see that uh cretans has uh has no interest in your uh what you're shilling why are you talking weird like only the only ones above is scoring more i'm lucky because i've got a blessing of the big boy see the big baby there is a bankable giant boy a comprehensively sourceable boy out in space and so big is going for every single creature all of them and that big space boy is coming here and either you fight him or you join them it is big big washy cretins is going to look down at snorg process what he has just heard uh take the fungus stogy out of his mouth look at it and just burn him on his head and just burn him with a cigar [Music] as this happens uh can i have it on the scene yes you finished creating the the pain wagon oh snog i've been looking for you you see i had a question to ask you he has a cigar sticking out of his forehead right now by the way why are they smooch protects as you know i've been i've been making sure i've been supplementing everyone with enough teeth to be able willing to join my crew and uh there's a fee i'm just gonna reach up and i'm gonna rip out two of his teeth thank you for doing business i'm gonna head back oh my face is perfect um so with that you've created the the smoke wagon uh i assume you're just having uh graka push it and it's basically like mobile cover as you're heading up this hillside i rolled up i rolled up for strength by the way oh that's that's perfect that's perfect yeah yeah um so that's gonna get you close now along the way is it just you gracker are you gonna call in some lads or are you gonna wait oh he's absolutely going to call in some other men because he hates pushing the cart as much as he hates other people so he's gonna have other people push the card so so uh like as you shout for help just out of the bush appear 10 boys like all right all right i'm going to help you both shop and push a car all right and like just 10 boys that like have no business being here just appear out of out of the form of the swamp and start pushing with you uh eventually the wagon gets you up towards the encampment but it only gets you so far before it gets stuck but you can tell you are now in a in a fine vantage point with which to attack this this guard emplacement however the umi's here there's a lot of them there's a lot here i roll to push the cart into them um we'll we'll get to that one sec uh let's let's set up the terror that is uh what is about to happen here boop okay look at that cracker i need to because i was not expecting that this session would require a wagon uh i need to load up a wagon asset thank you thank you for web uh roll 20. this is this is the best roll20 has the worst assets ever it it does which will make this so much better because i think i know what wagon he's using [ __ ] yeah here we go okay okay okay okay one second i'm gonna also drop in all of graka's lads or hyper realistic taking a screenshot from the top wagon it's super good what are you talking about don't judge the wagon oh all right here we are oh it's that shitty one it is exactly the wagon i was thinking about it's the exact mini wooden wagon all right so you have made it in through the clutter um you've pushed the wagon close enough the smoke has now like fallen off that the generator's falling off you just have the wagon left but it has got you here outside of the the cover you can see southwards there are several umis that have lined up with various weapons like looking up some of them were like what's that then oh no green skins um but you've got the drop on them so duh drop yeah who would like to go first uh i have a question for the snork alpha can i can i please at least start something can i can i make the opening move be to push the cart through their defensive line that's [ __ ] awesome i'm going to kick it okay yeah strength or athletics your choice let me see which one is better uh believe it or not neither they're they're exactly equal i'm gonna move it over here because i assume this is what you want he's lining it up like he's bowling he rears back gives it a mighty shove for eight and a complication oh my god all right i have a complication that i want to suggest yeah oh i'm just gonna do it visually uh sec see here i want to do this am i surfing i want you to be on it as it is crashing into their lines absolutely excellent you you are trying to get leverage and then you sort of like push yourself onto it i push my legs too hard because i'm not paying attention and i wind up in the cart yes these things happen hell [ __ ] eight i didn't think i rolled like four sixes and a three yes yes uh so very good sound effect uh yeah and you're gonna get like right there um jeebus uh what even like actually just roll me um gosh rule me what is your what is your strength uh score it's my my strength is a six a six okay uh rule me 3d6 i'll give you one success okay this is going to represent damage so if you want to you can toss glory on to this for extra damage on this like ride by taking all of it can i use all four yeah yeah absolutely all right so you you take all four glory and you like line up the shot stumble onto the wagon the wagon goes rolling down there's two line of um uh the front line seems to have uh four or four with last guns one with some kind of a grenade weapon uh in the back or in in the back one the one on the front has a flame weapon you come smashing through and take out four of them with their rifles landing in the middle of their lines as the wagon completely collapsed of audio people he rolled three sixes on his glory roll yeah he had one success previously okay so and in fact you didn't even have to the funny part is i'll take that because it's amazing but you're for for spending extra damage for glory it's just flat extra damage you don't even roll so uh you put the wagon comes crashing down you you break through both of those guard lines and you are in the thick of things graca uh that was the first action um i will say that is a surprise action so i will then let you guys take regular initiative uh who would you like to have going next uh you can nominate uh graca's lads which are a mob i'll i'll let them i'll let your you guys go i will wait to move my men i have a suggestion in that question uh i think this might be an error uh the jump you gave me says you teleport yourself anywhere within range of power but only the jump allows me to teleport others as well would you like to amend this or are we just keeping it just for that's the uh if you look at the boosting boosting it lets you okay i can jump it's all dead boys if you're going to do that so if you're going to do that hold on just a moment hi i think he's about to get messy oh shopping about four years all right i'm going to uh walk over to this cliff and you are taking the action oh is that is that an action yeah i mean like you're also yeah i would like to take the turn if that's okay okay and then you can and then you can uh spend the glory and get in there because i'm gonna do something that's gonna be dangerous to have us there okay all right so i'm going to take the action if that's all right with my computers okay uh i'm going to on this cliff look at all these enemies boys crackers got the good idea lads and i am going to uh take my snazz gun i'm going to send a wrath to multi-shot yes and i am going to [ __ ] unload now um so if i spend my salvo here does that apply to all of my shots uh so it depends are you firing like full auto um yeah i'll drive my i'll drain my clip here yeah it applies to all your shots excellent in that case i'm going to uh begin firing this looks like a giant explosive unstable thing i'm going to start by shooting at that which thing sorry this giant fuel thing oh okay okay yeah sure i mean it's behind some rocks so you're like it'll be difficult to hit fair enough all right absolutely for sure actually uh roll how many bonus shots you get that's a [ __ ] incredibly important thing to know yeah so 53 extra shots it's coming around three there you go okay so your first first four shots uh at the tank [Music] uh all right so let's give it a shot seven and a complication okay okay so surprise surprise the complication is your gun's gonna be out of ammo at the end of this uh seven will hit it uh roll damage all right am i shifting anything one you can shift one okay cool that's gonna be 14 damage ap2 on that big explosive looking thing uh you put several dents into it it looks like you've it's taken a ton of damage it's not quite broken yet though well that's alright i'll give it another shot second shot [Music] full restore uh that will hit no shifts right let's go 15 damages torn lads yeah your your bullets go just grazing over the top and eventually strike home and this thing this this fuel tanker bursts uh spraying flames around and striking at three of the guardsmen here setting them ablaze and just just immediately incinerating murdering them and then blowing up the tank yes now my two other shots this one here and this one here well one at a time we'll start with this one here okay right let's give it a shot that's gonna be six sir okay uh that will hit uh no shifts though orion that's gonna be 12 sir ap2 okay 12 at ap2 uh mark me down a rune point please i'm going to have them roll some determination these guys are not part of a mob and they're not troops so haha boop oh wait come on let me make my bro oh my god wow shizzle not bad okay cool um they seem quite uh quite disturbed but that gun is still around all right i'll finish it off okay final shot uh oh yeah that will that will just take down that that gun immediately click click click click click all right um then i believe it will be my go and now lorc can interrupt yes awkward interrupt this thing okay it's now time we've all got to try to go dear i spend the wrath to do the mega big brain move with all these oaks around me hey this is dangerous oh i want it i want it to happen so you're going to get 13 extra wrath dice on this yeah she might complicate if i don't it's going to be a [ __ ] miracle while i'm doing this i grab snork up by his neck and raise him up to me and going and i'm just like it was gonna give you all the look you got your little kid good give him my wrath all of it are you wait wait do you respond with your alpha posture wait did i say that no i don't think i do let's see what's your wrath skill alpha what does your wrath skill do yeah you can make a narrative oh sorry sorry i thought no i wanted to give him my uh my my die you cannot no no no no he's he is using his thing to get like crazy mario power look do you mind if i don't go along with you he's all coming with me with you all right please please roll this lucky bonus die with my lucky grot uh yeah sure sure sure are you also just gonna do it unbound as well just uh yeah what is unbound again plus two wrath die uh yeah plus two so you'll be plus fifteen right fifteen wrath type plus all my stuff two bonus star here we go here we go let's see what happens hey i got one complication because i was waiting for scar brand you can't re-roll oh i am gonna re-roll it so here comes here's my last wrath die to re-roll yeah yeah wait specifically so things can go worse 23 and no more complications i look at all [Music] here we go here we go okay so me snorg okay so it's it's me and now now the plus yeah just all those that and that and the plus seven okay whatever here's what you're gonna do place yourself okay where you want to be and i will be placing the others in an appropriate adjacent location i put them in the middle okay okay i'm just gonna move the horde down here i'm gonna do that can i do that can i do that and i'm gonna do it so you teleport into the middle of this this umi bastion area you bring seven of the boys the the other three i just want to point out as you're disappearing and like green light is taking you away all the three other boys like shake violently and clutch their heads which all begin to explode as a result of your complications yeah oh all right dude and um three of their heads pop oh my teeth oh nice you look wiggly in their mouth and then you end up in the middle of their line uh i believe i get to go now i mean i gotta move now oh yeah i only can't wait to only cast a warp that's fair and i immediately go behind the rock i wrote over here good luck boys and i just immediately [ __ ] run and get behind a rock amazing and i take and i'm taking cover so it's like all right good luck boys go get them now my turn's over okay okay so as this is going on okay i am going to yeah yeah but you can't repeat sees so i'm going to go i am going to have this heavy bolter here go which um is is quite concerned about the mega armored knob that has surfed into its midst and so it raises up the gun and starts firing like viciously into you um that being said uh it might not be the best here we'll find out so uh real quick uh what's your defense on ironically greca's defense is still only three okay so you're gonna get plus two to your defense because you've got cover from the wagon the wagon all right the wagon however um this thing is is firing and it is firing like that you can see that the the person firing is is quite concerned uh and is just unloading everything he can into you so let's see how this goes there is a sudden like raised gun and then a deca deca deca deck attack uh we'll see how this goes roll it ooh a nine oh so i'll be able to shift two into damage uh no he'll only be able to shift one uh four yeah okay he's defense no no i'll still be defend i'll still hit five yeah yeah oh right yeah defensive fight i'm just thinking [ __ ] pi brain i'm sorry [ __ ] why would you wrong i know i know when you close your eyes and you roll those rolls you're thinking of me at the end of those days um because he loves me uh i will do 18 points of damage so i have resilience 11 and armor value 4. so uh so so the resilience should factor in that i think so that because it has no ap has no ap so i take seven yeah but you get determination i have six determinations so i'm going to roll all six yep uh two six two so i take five shock five wounds yeah two shots and the the gunner's like yeah get some get some great skin here click click click click click click click i'm like having skated you with several of its heavy bolts the guardsman looks up in shock as the as the heavy bolter runs out of ammo and you're still there um all right so that was that who would like to go next i think the options are snork or creighton's or graca's lads snort should absolutely go or unless unless you have something i have a plan it does not include you oh well go ahead uh creighton's not wanting to have been teleported over but inadvertently has played into his hand anyway will just dash back through the back line and stamp her up to the turret here and force his way inside oh sorry take one more wound earn though it does have a p1 oh it does okay yeah bungle okay so you're scampering into the back once this like turret that they have mounted on a rock face here yes and i would like to get inside and presumably it's a man turret i'm gonna jump right in yes there's a there's a guardsman named bimmy inside it who is three weeks from retirement oh wars never change yes i would like to gratuitously kill jimmy or bimmy bimmy sir timmy you may uh you may appear there and make your attack roll on bit me baby must die mode here we go [ __ ] [ __ ] slight loading fast enough 13 and a crit i just assume you like come in dangling from your feet like right behind him and just slit the throat pretty much toss him right out the back the fireman as he falls to his death all right let's see what we got here right is there like an object interaction i can do to like man the turret uh i will say you are getting situated for the remainder of your turn sounds good all right um snore oh gosh we'll die uh the guard squad here is going to go going to shoot unless snorg would like to interrupt we got we got plenty off you got glory either stealth up due to his you know very very insignificant size or alternatively just just just just casually walk up to them try to initiate a conversation abso which okay which who are you are you looking at like the the five-man garden squad with the flamer or the two who've had most of their unit like murdered over honestly i was initially i was initially thinking about the uh heavy weapon squad okay um if that's possible oh yeah like this the guy who's like run out of ammo trying to take out kraka yeah absolutely you can walk up yeah all right so snorg in that case just kind of stalled up stealth stealths up to his side and starts pro uh proselytizing uh and it is uh very very intense and very personal and he asks how he is for the most part like it's very focused on him you are the worst in the world he just want to [ __ ] point out that there is like this poor guardsman who's had a [ __ ] mega knob on a wagon crashed through and brutally murdered four of his friends aims up with this heavy weapon starts firing it runs out of ammo and the [ __ ] orc there's like i took some damage but i'm still here he's [ __ ] terrified and then this little [ __ ] like thing comes behind him and he's like sweet sweet baby sweet baby jesus i know you've had a rough time i know you had a hard day have you considered [Applause] i'm about to get set on [ __ ] fire man [Laughter] i will count this as an interaction attack right so he tries to tries to convince him to uh he's a guardsman so his resolve is terrible so that succeeds with the three oh yeah very easy to convert very very easy oh okay good good good let's see is he convinced questions kind of horror uh as you were proselytizing he's like what's what's happening he's serving the big boy i'll guarantee you got no you'll not go hungry i am awful hungry uh we'll cut away from that to the other squad that like clearly was a threat but you're like no ritz just has this they raise up their rifles and their flamer adverts um can i make a narrative declaration oh sure if you're gonna try to narratively declare like you get another action or some [ __ ] out of combat let's see how that plays i don't really think that's possible at this point what is possible however is that rich face back ender always got a plan and his coat is flame retardant disgusting yourself down that raft point sure absolutely i will say that ritz fist has acquired from orc sources of flame retardant suit [Laughter] no choice a bunch of live guns there too right now i don't know well yeah please shoot him now yes yes the last guns are going to shoot now what a moment oh they're in short range too and fudge it they're going to solve a fire fall up top they're going to like unload all of their guns into you complicating getting them too hot causing them to all drop their guns because they've just now turned to see the horde of orcs behind them but ritz fist uh what's your defense uh three good good good i like hearing i like you can shift three times you're you're going to be in very big trouble i will oh wait wait wait that wasn't what i wanted one sec that wasn't what i wanted ignore that role that is incorrect role sure oh gosh okay i do i do nine points well edge things are looking a little rough uh so nine nine total uh all right so five go three or four i'm going to take three shock and one wound okay and then the flamer um this just means you can't be burnt not that the heat doesn't hurt you die i don't know what it means i mean we'll see what happens i i don't know all right so the flamer fires it's a ballistic skill just to see if i can shift it at all i can shift it one square which honestly is not going to be enough to hit any of the mob or anything like that they are however much more concerned about uh ritz fist there so they are just firing fools um doing 11 points with the flamer okay so what does my flame retardant coat do for me uh your flame retardant coat will give you a bonus to get the on fire condition off on your turn oh that's so good thank you thurston you're welcome it's an orc made problem [Laughter] thank you it was worth a glory it's a plus one okay oh that's my damage from saskatchewan that's the wrong thing what i might be rolling in a better world fair there you go holy cow that's seven that would really come in handy if i had more than two shock yeah um okay i like the speaker dies weekend this is really good you'll get yours speaker d more like speak or die okay okay so that's that um those guardsmen have now fired uh graca's lads are gonna go crackus lads wells pointed towards these two war guardsmen um probably realize the the more like issue of the flamer behind them and so then i issue them orders yeah actually what do you want them to do i would like them to capture the relic points so we can have vision so we can orbital strike oh okay perfect i love that you want to abandon ritz fist i wasn't even going to do that but that's what actually happened are you going to send the mob to hell yes i'm going to have them swamp these idiots okay damn it erdell you had me so excited for a moment i'm not that terrible so so grackle slides rush around these these poor guardsmen and begin a uh a source murdering um gosh let's see here it's a lot of boys uh okay cool gonna roll some dice here okay cool uh they begin chopping through a bunch and kill three of them okay and uh that's going to be enough uh for my favorite part the resolve of the imperial guard the unit of two on the strategic point fail fail drop their last guns and begin rushing back this way only to stop seeing the horde of orcs around these two um the group that is with graca has to make oh my god so the flamer and these oops not that the flamer in these two begin running away uh you can take an attack on them as they run if you want a cracker can i ex let me see do i have any wrath i still have one left i would like to roll a weapon skill to grab flamer fellow okay and i want to use him as a grenade oh absolutely abs make a weapon skill test let's see how bad this goes okay i get an eight okay so even with i need a six for them to pass their resolve tests so these this unit fails too so i'm gonna say that these these two rush off to join up here uh you are grabbing the flamer guy as he is attempting to run waiting for them to kind of get like masked together and then throwing the flamer into the the group of guardsmen i make sure to snick one of the uh the fuel pipes as i do that and then i'm going to throw him right there yeah yeah okay uh robbie ballistic skill ah now you guys get to see what i'm bad at can i take three glory i didn't roll the other and then roll the glory yes that'll be five uh you toss them in uh you toss the flamer who lets out like a s a cry as then [Music] everywhere and uh then they they all quite they all quite die for reference i have a burner however because my ballistic skill is three i may not hit anything ever this is good this is good um all right so that is that is the uh that is the end of the first combat the second combat round who would like to go first i like the nominee alpha please what no no no good no good everyone forfeit your turns we want alpha to go first okay i want to see where this heavy bolter operated romance is going yeah we're also on time so i want alpha to conclude his stupid [ __ ] okay so while snorg is a horrid cenos hybrid between a senseless gretchen and a furiously hungry gene stealer he's still a of great moral character especially in contrast with the rest of the 41st millennium so snork wants to gain the consent of the guardsmen for the james taylor's kiss please okay i'm gonna roll deception for this absolutely so um unfortunately someone donated to make that a complication for you the scheme of reveal [Laughter] oh oh i know the complication whoa excellent well the guardsman and though though the filthy human language is filthy you've learned it to better better proselytize and then you oh you see you see this this guardsman turn and you see his name plate the name written watson on it as he looks you in the eyes oh so it's not jimmy no no no bimmy's uh bimmy's in the other this is this his brother oh no no no this is not jimmy this is this is private watson fair enough okay watson oh no who turns no i would never look him consort we see notes that would be wrong as he stares you dead in the eyes well snorg is quite heartbroken would snog like to shoot man point blank with his gun or or or still use the attacky ass [ __ ] no no snoring snore cannot do that i'm sorry i'm sorry snork is completely [ __ ] useless and he's going to he's just going to he's just going to walk off and complain about the friend zone thurston can i give you a suggestion yes to attempt to spur alpha into action yes can you have private watson here yes talk about his fun new book that he's written uh i could what is the book it begins with an o o r r g [Music] machine oh my god i [ __ ] how did how can i be someone who knows thirsty maybe oh my god my brain is truly not working so stork walks off and the uh the sad hulk music plays as snork begins pacing around on the strategic point capturing it uh would someone like to interrupt with creativity after we broke alpha and now we're going to give him creators i give him interruption took a bad review hit that [ __ ] heavy vulture guy with the [ __ ] lemon rust cannon and this end of this farce we like to go you're welcome cretins would like to go yeah yeah absolutely he's just like aiming down the turret correct please please cranes will fire the gigantic [ __ ] off huge cannon at this lone guardsman absolutely i don't have a stat line for it i'm assuming he just gets atomized uh uh yeah just for a ballistic skill just sure unless the shot goes wild or it complicates oh boy that's really the important it's a plot strength round it's more all right all right all right so so with this the guardsmen are like slaughtered by greca's remaining boys um because there's only two of them the the massive cannon on the turret of the of the bridge area like explodes into private watson who is instantly atomized and and with that there is just this immense explosion which i assume moments later graco walks through unscathed because cool orcs don't look at explosions no he's just gonna be on the other side standing as the smoke clears and he's going to cough good uh and by the end of all of this snoring has uh has captured the objective can we deep strike more orson um you cannot deep strike in more boys but you have captured this this important point leading on to to the final area ahead where you can see just further up the hill is this immense uh anti-aircraft gun that seems to be to be firing up into the sky oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] we're kept we're capping the victory point boys um so do the what does the wabaner do for us between missions uh it will heal you up back to full wounds how kind nice i'm back to i'm back to full wounds but not shocked yes not chuck okay boys that was amazing except for a few things that weren't so amazing but all things considered quite a find out in now we just got the big ol aircraft gun to go okay glad you're as excited as i am i look um i look i look up to the sky and i still see rocks falling correct oh yeah yeah like they're occasional the ship's not launching all of its stuff yet i don't know if you want to do this considering our time scale right now but can i summon rocks onto the anti-aircraft gun arms of all these orcs okay okay here's what i will let you do i will let you have all the boys together and you can attempt to arrange to jump to jump one of the rocks to use it as a as a implement of destruction i will allow you to do this once excellent you can get 11 bonus dice on the check from all the boys nearby you okay and you want to use it unbound that would be 13. wrath dice you'll have to make a wrath declaration to do this okay 13 there we're gonna minus the wrath yup but you're all just capping the point and lurks like hmm all these boys together at once here we [ __ ] go lords snog tell me a funny joke oh me sir all the shame crosses his arms looking very dower looking down into the ground poor snork the friend zone fused me oh jesus christ more bonus toys yeah yeah you get your lucky bonus dice i see what you're doing here let's complicate boys can i throw my last wrath to summon another 10 boys you can oh god thank you you could you could for an extra for an extra 10. god damn it 23 wrath die what a rock of 10 boys drops nearby and they all start getting out what's going on and then just shout over let's see if scar brand shows up boys and roll let's see if the api even registers like yeah i don't think it likes us very much no i'm pretty sure it's mad but i'm waiting on it okay slowly but surely it'll happen will it we gotta do we goats the channel oh god one complication what [Music] really god so the issue though is that it's a it's a lot of successes but a couple of things i wish i had another wrath died uh [ __ ] reroll but we're going to keep it and uh yeah so do we just take over the anti-aircraft gun or just submit things i was not expecting complication well the complication is that three boys heads are going to explode oh died well they they alpha wants to narratively declare that one of the heads was his [Laughter] um oh yeah of course yeah but i guess um sure uh this is how we enter the final encounter i guess um like funny no boss um so there is a large anti-aircraft gun that is on the top of the hill supported by several squads and heavy weapons and special weapons and what what appears to be an august uh umi lady she's pretty weedy actually but she got a big claw on one arm and you see this dizzier claw it's like a big set of shearing scissors [Music] and she turns and looks at you and and seahawks are here get seahawks good evening madame you are being crumped by kevin backender and his crew good night all right who would like to go first should we should we do as we mean to go on and let me go first so i could do something stupid that imperils me yes yes sure zorin go for it all right i'll go first i wish to charge the commissar [Laughter] [Music] absolutely absolutely what does the connoisseur look like there's hold on can i come with uh i'm going to pull that up just one moment my thing my thing my overlay is being silly right now this and i assume snoring is riding on its back can i yeah can i attach myself to your shoulder thurston uh you absolutely can all right you're right there with me alpha come on there you go we're doing this okay so i'm going to attack with my own claw uh absolutely i don't care we don't have a lot of glory to use so uh i will i will you guys to interrupt you will get the plus one uh plus two because it's a wall weapon so someone just gave us like five glory so oh well there you go also there she is look at that lady yeah beautiful job on all these guardsmen did do a wonderful job i will show off more this art in just a sec garrett's a [ __ ] wizard he is a [ __ ] wizard he paints my models yeah he painted your exact little grobbly little bastard too oh yeah yeah the reference sheet for you so i'm gonna add five to my well not up to my two hit i'll add it to my damage okay if i hit uh with 12 do i hit uh yes you may shift four of those so i will add nine to my damage bonus dice yes how does 26 damage sound because i think she's just been pi-brained i'm gonna roll the transformation yeah please please please don't make this as sad as it is it's going to remove speakers speaker dude speaker rolling her determination oh oh she saves two of them oh she is still alive whoa boss fight barely fight boss i give her i like reach around like i'm gonna sever her in half but she's just too hard to cut like a piece of cord wood so all i do is just lightly crush her like like like kind of tin can and her like head just tilts to the side is that's the best you have foul synos as like blood is coming out of her face oh he's tough it's gonna be fun um uh i would like to see you you have all right you have four ruin die for for contact with people i'm not okay updating because it'll change my scenes but yeah yeah perfect i'm gonna go with uh the guard unit um that is right beside her i i'm really okay could i seize actually i would like to seize um fair enough actually actually i i reckon i reckon i could probably do the exact same thing after hulkie has gone so okay cool so for for reference though before before this happens i'm going to spend a rune point to make sure i go before you stay okay as all of the guardsmen around the the the commissar lady raise up their last guns at cracker unfortunately i'm not getting shot at um uh-huh so one moment it's a lot it's a lot of bonus dice one sec please do a lot of diddly please they're firing full auto all into you at close range good we'll we'll see how this goes with less guns here we go i am in awe that you only rolled a four i'm going to spend my second run point to re-roll that and now you're at two so it works out how many how many ones was that that's a lot it was like five and a publication all right yeah you you could like shift both of those together i could shift two of them so yeah okay so that's good so that i can get um okay and actually okay cool and i will use my third one this round to pre-roll this as well and get 11 which i think just does a point of shock to you and the complication and the complication is that all their last guns get hot and they drop them all as they're all panicking trying to take down the terminator of all orcs i wish to impress upon you you have knocked me down to half shock [Laughter] moral victory yay okay um i believe that brings us back to uh cretans in the initiative okay so uh cretans i assume that off to the right side of the map near that uh heavy bolter is just a cliff face correct yes okay so cretans is just going to dive off that cliff face okay uh and then you say my cookie spook powers i'm going to teleport directly behind the commissar okay yeah as like the the heavy bolter watches you run by trails you for a bit and then like as looking over the cliff to try and fire just sees like a cardboard cut out tumble in the wind and then i would like to baxtabu the commissar okay um we'll just move it yeah yeah here uh that's four and a crit oh my gosh yeah you'll you'll hit um roll me 2d6 please okay 23 all right let's learn what 23 and the critical brutal rupture mangled flesh crushed bone and ruptured organs um romeo d3 okay it's d3 wounds and for every glory point you spend you can increase the number of mortal wounds by one so can i increase this by a bunch like four that's a one number you can use five because we have five glory okay i'll use five okay all gone um so like cracka you you came up with snork on your back like grabbed the commissar attempted to crunch um like she took it but was heavily wounded and then cretans just appears behind her and just just does this disemboweling strike from behind and she she is quite dead as this strike goes all the way up from her back and she coughs out blood cretins leans in to the commissary she's about to fade he's not in personnel gate it's just wrong that's the line um yeah that's cool okay uh this now comes back to my activation i am going to see if i can roll a six for these guardsmen no it's not what it's grog uh it's [ __ ] uh grog alphabe because that was an introduction remember uh well it was creighton's interrupting then i interrupted so now it comes back to me no but it was cretin's interrupting and you interrupted and then before so you acted before him then he interrupted oh [ __ ] it would come back to you i'm stupid yes well i'll see you my partner has not uh bring it up i see you try to negotiate with god that's not how this works i appreciate you i appreciate it the sorry roll 20 is now being a pain and i have to reload it so um i i am going to why is it oh my gosh it's completely crashing on me roll 20 api hates me apparently um oh they did just roll a whole bunch of numbers yeah we did remember with our technical difficulties with row 20. anybody who works on the wrath and glory version of foundry we appreciate it if you could make it finished it'd be cool we want to use it but it's not done it's not working and we need it to please thank you um alpha rule me 1d6 because rule 20 is now completely crashed on me that's great oh [ __ ] and not loading at all a5 okay thank you um also please don't delay me about foundry i don't know what the [ __ ] i'm doing go go figure it out i got like 10 dms last time it's like just i don't [ __ ] know you guys do it i don't know what i'm doing yeah oh my god there's a good point technical difficulties also rolls 23 wrath die yeah yeah fair fair fair um all right so the heavy bolter would go but but then like looks up in sheer terror at the disemboweling strike that that has occurred here um i am going to use my i think i have one rune point left yes you do okay i'm going to use my last rune point here to like pray to the emperor that like this this this one guardsman with the heavy vulture can make the defiant last stand that we need um as role 20 continues to just not let me load in for whatever reason i'm really sorry this is annoying technical um but he is he is getting ready to line up the shot uh and we'll be taking a shot that will be hitting our our commando boy in the back once i can eventually maybe one day get back into the game um so in the meantime i will let hand it back to the players to keep things going who would like to go next no you can't pre-kill this heavy bolter it's still gonna fire regardless i i think oh oh oh wait no alphabet has been waiting you go ahead and do your thing out oh yeah even though just to check like okay so he's going to be shooting anyway uh can i still still do something to him you reckon or or is it just that the heavy bolter i i mean yeah he's he would have fired and then technically you're acting it's just because i can't get into roll 20 that it's a it's a pain right now maybe can you close your whole browser i i have it's just roll 20 site is being weird from my location so it's probably server issues because i am in the canadia because every other website is working well yeah it's kind of slammed on uh okay so uh snorg is going to screech in the exact same manner as a head crab and jump at the face of the heavy weapons guy if possible and try to spit the overpositioner into his nose okay okay uh please please make the the avapositor attack the heavy weapons guy the heavy weapons guy okay i'm actually back in so i can make the attack as as snork goes flying over to the heavy weapons attack you complicate with a two uh well first let here here's what's gonna happen i'm gonna uh i'm gonna take this like this guardsman and i'm going to to make attack roll and see what happens um but until then let us see here oh okay not bad uh what's your defense snorg oh well it was [ __ ] it was three right or yes okay so so i'm going to just clip you it's going to be a reduced damage here um [Music] as as like you jumped as the heavy bolter is firing um let's ignore that uh it should be 13 okay so you're going to take 13 points of damage uh which i believe for you will mean you will take 10 points of damage [Music] here we go okay okay okay this is good uh also i'm finally able to fire the the heavy heavy bolter which misses at its intended target but it does hit snork um so snorg your uh your determination there does uh mean you only take uh i believe eight points of damage which still is enough to take you to zero wounds again sorry to survive his [ __ ] entire body you know having well holds like implode inside romeo d6 let's find out what kind of injury you get here oh [ __ ] yeah three uh can you roll me another d6 you can't have another twitch two why can't he have two twitch no no it's not twitches uh so now your right your right foot is damaged meaning you aren't able to walk runner sprint and may only oh sorry no no no uh you just to suffer an injury on on your right foot which means you kind of walk away all right buying limp now okay fair enough now that being said you still have some resources available to you um do you have a do you have wrath points left oh god i have no idea i think you do i think you do um actually you also have glory too so if you want to you could roll like four extra dice and spend all the glory to try to add four four more dice because you just need one more to hit this guy with the avo positor i was talking about gloria what a way to roll 46 use all the glory oh man without saving that what oh oh i'm sorry it's okay someone gave you a wrath um thank you you uh you hit with the awful positor you may roll damage right okay the nasal chamber is filled with tongue move on um and that guy dies actually here's a question guys do you want him to die you're killing him you just want to inject some sweet sweet material through his head it's my it's my one mission in this life i want to implant the embryonic organism and rewrite his gene code in the coming months mission succeeded do i knock him off the cliff yeah in fact he falls but he survives which means that this guardsman is going to run off all right um this would be the point in the telltale game where in the top left corner it would say thurston will remember this alpha did spend a wrath so this is probably gonna dance uh who would like to go next i don't mind going i would like to propose because i haven't gone at all yet yeah okay sure go yeah i haven't gone at all so if we went to a new tournament that's kidding me so sure no we haven't we're still in round one yeah so um i have a plan i want to try some arc [ __ ] to kill all these guardsmen at once and a big arc thing okay okay so we're still at the turn i'm the last person right uh no ritz has to go okay rich hasn't gone yet okay brits you can go next uh after this because i'm going to require grocka's help on this sure no i need you to summon a bunch of boys on your turn next turn oh no because i really really need some boys oh no and i really really like them okay so go ahead and go ritz all right well um let's see everything i wanted to do is sort of be done we got the boys well they're all rather distracted and i'm not about to get shown up here this is my crew after all so i'm gonna sneak up to the entire aircraft and i would like to use a tech check to make this thing bunk as hard as possible so it falls off the cliff onto the cliff below absolutely give me a tech check absolutely you got it you got it i'm gonna be something this big you're probably you're looking at a a six i'm gonna be popping full glory into this okay all right and if this don't work out or got me ref in the chamber if it don't work out i'm going to crawl there's the wrath of the chamber six essays okay so here's what i'm going to assume happens you're going to do that this is going to tumble on downfall fall off the cliff uh mission success as as you you managed to set this up so so the aaa gun collapses down the skully shoot me gun fools uh lark i assume you're not even really caring about this action because what you want to do is have graka go first next round then interrupt with 10 boys on the field correct do you want to write supersede to the [ __ ] i i if if greka is okay with it uh i assume you're just spending your turn summoning 10 more boys uh yeah and then uh you're going to uh unload probably your flamer into some of these poor guardsmen or attack them your choice uh i will tell you what greka is going to stuff the kamisar into his backpack and then he's going to sit down and pass his turn okay um lork i assume you are now yeah okay uh so just for now for everyone we're super singing because we're on time and alpha is like in the middle of the night right now so we're just getting to our garbage is just gonna walk over here and just you could just delete the commissar she's now a part of visitor i guess i don't [ __ ] know he's he's going to like eat that later uh yeah so you'll get 28 bonus wrath dice i assume you're casting some [ __ ] here yeah so here's the plan mm-hmm all these are gonna be like all right boys you don't need to be near me and assume all the boys huddle whatever and now i'm sitting here with the boys spinning the wrath to cast the jump but not on my boys on all the guardsmen and it has to include me to the very very high spot in a scot in the sky except this guy yeah except that guy except that guy he's he's too far away technically yeah but all the guards have been around us it's on this [ __ ] hill except that one guy we did jumping real [ __ ] high like okay roll it please how many orcs how many how many bonuses 28 28 bonus graphics two more if you unbounded one api bed this is two more you [ __ ] know he's gonna roll like 1-1 again just despite me because the last two times he's only rolled one does it count more than one complicated warp yes yes can we get this guy at our party he's a really good boy i look at snark and go do you believe in me little um not anymore [Laughter] so mine is these two bonus dice i guess [Laughter] lord cries i will now also dump all glory which is three so we get three bonus die 31 oh my god all right let's see how this goes i clicked it let's see if it goes there's a lot of complications but there's a lot it's a total of 36. okay but there is one two three four five six uh complications together but there's a [ __ ] ton like one two three four five six seven eight nine like i i would like to reroll it but i don't have enough wrath so unfortunately that's not gonna fair fair fair fair okay yeah fair fair fair and uh sorry go slow come with me amazing and just go all the way up and uh grab as many of them as i can really i guess the ones surrounding our friends or whatever if we want to be technical with it but basically i'm going as high as i can this guy with me and since i haven't gone again eyes are out with me all the complications go off there and then after the complications if i'm not dead then i'm casting the jump again of myself to go back down safely um so all of graka's lads explode doing this nice you you pop the heads on every lad that's come to help gracka they pop like popcorn as you channel this immense wall energy to bring up all of these zoomies into the sky and then they start tumbling down um you no longer have the extra battery to cast to jump to get away um with with super powers as you are falling you can get one attempt at a normal caster to jump let's see what i get normally i got a five wait there's multiple complications they're still unbound though because you would yeah no no you're quite you're quick i complicate three times on the way down you fall down and your head hurts a lot roll me to d6 please oh yes uh 13 uh oh 13 okay plus 30. yeah not a bad roll actually actually it's actually really good yeah it's super safe it's super safe because instead just everyone gets a ringing in their ears and taste of iron and in their mouth as you you you snap back down and everyone gets this bloodlust you're all ready for fightings all of you and your lads even snog are ready for fightings and with that you all look up into the sky and see that dozens now hundreds of rocks are descending onto this planet and a war has come and that is where we're going to end our little orchestra for the day [Applause] good job everybody thanks all thanks everybody for coming over and watching i like to thank alpha bosch for being our guests today thank you for having me on and tolerating my friends the important question very good alpha i am very surprised that snore survived uh are we sure about this well i mean she's gonna have a limp he's missing an arm you're gonna have to update that miniature oh what last last movement before she dies he's eating he's eating something right now he's currently eating while you do this he's very hungry he's trying to consume math biomass well me and ritz got a four so me and you have to roll off together well i got like another four so i i i looked at rich and go i'm holding snore about to just you know just go like yesterday you didn't give me all the luck that i needed i come home a couple of boys died because you know what and then then the rest of the complication triggers and snoring's head just exposed no no god damn it i was gonna give her the rich scott [ __ ] rich fist will take the consolation of all of the dead orcs by just picking up all of their teeth before the other people can get to them and becoming a billionaire with the big boy in space but with that we're done the epilogue is over we are done everyone truly are the green menace thank you so much for coming to the uh episode i appreciate everyone being here thinking into alpha all of our lovely players which you all know and love them we have speaker d we have aaron aaron dill hulky crow and our illustrious game master thurston here hillman so thank you chad for being here thank you all for your wonderful support uh without you warheads would not be the thing that it is and and also i'd like to say thank you alpha for being a super big help for warhammes and everything else because we would not be here without you so thank you thank you too i am very very happy that it's all going so well for you you are really you you are all like truly truly super good at what you're doing here uh i am i am genuinely a fan like okay i'm involved in the project but i listen to every episode it's a lot of fun it's great very good thank you very much all right we're happy that you had had this project come up and had you worked with zorin and thurston to make it be because this has been great absolutely yeah i'm always happy to help a fan oh yeah thank you for having me on thank you for having me you're a very famous very famous man very famous popular man tonight i am very lonely lonely creature you are you are you are but it's okay let's let's start hopping off here fellas thank you let me know thank you very much everyone stay safe we'll go ahead and raid somebody else love you all very much hope y'all have an awesome day and we will see you all next time and they would all be killed by the space mage which oh yeah yeah these these would easily be killed by a space marine a

Channel: ZoranTheBear

Views: 14,558

Rating: 4.9796066 out of 5

Keywords: warhammer40k, 40k, warhammer, spacemarine, space, marine, orks, ork, eldar, fps, voice, actor, entertainment, best, of, highlights, WarHams, WH40K, TTRPG, DnD, D&D, Critical Role, Dark heresy, Wrath & Glory, If the Emperor had a TTS Device, TTS, 40K TTS, Emp TTS, warhammer fantasy, warhammer fantasy lore, warhammer fantasy roleplay 4th edition, warhammer fantasy roleplay, warhammer fantasy battle report, Warhammer, wrath & glory rpg, wrath & glory core rules, warhammer 40k lore, warhammer 40k gameplay

Id: 024s-PdCnyo

Length: 173min 50sec (10430 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 30 2021