- [cackles] - You won't be laughing evilly once I rip these straps
into smaller straps! - Those straps are made
of unbreakable strapium. - But those are unbreakable! - Exactly. But I'm sure
your fairies could break them. - Gulp. - Oh, no. We gotta tell Vicky. - You mean Viv? - Yeah, sure, that one. - Two suitors left, one single ornate feather. - One of you is
a handsome prince who has obvious chemistry with Lady Vivian.
- The other, a rich boy
who I'm now certain is evil. [sinister music plays]
- [dubiously] Who, me? - Yep. - If I may,
I have a clear choice of who I want
to gently kiss my cheek. - We are the parents. In this era, we alone decide. But you like Dumont,
right, sweetie? - Yeah!
- Ooh, yay! We'll be right back. My wife
and I have discussed it, and the single ornate feather
goes to... - Prince Dumont. - Drat! I had so many evil plans, most involving flan. - ♪ Out you go,
out you go ♪ ♪ I've never sat on a couch,
you know ♪ - Never sat on a common couch? You can't be serious! - Well, Lady Vivian, the time has come to place the single ornate feather in Dumont's hat. [romantic music] ♪ ♪ - [whispering loudly]
We'll give you some privacy. - Well, I suppose
the only thing left to do is gently kiss you
upon the cheek. [both sigh] [twinkling] - Uh, yes! That is exactly
what we're gonna do. I just need to powder my cheek. Don't move a muscle. Keep puckering. - [strained] Uh, as you wish, but I shan't stay
puckered forever. - You guys, I was just about
to get cheek kissed! - We know, but Vicky
captured Roy to capture us! - Fine, I'll call him. Where's my phone? - In the 21st century, dear. - You could write him
a letter, and maybe he'll get it
in a month or two... unless the mail carrier
gets lost or gets a paper cut and dies. - Fine, I'll go to the quad. - Sweetie, I'm afraid in the "Action High" version of Dimmsdale,
you can only be in your mission control seat. - With no dates or friends. - That's it! Sorry, Roy,
I'm staying here. - No!
- You're his only hope! We can't interfere, or Vicky will catch us. - And I assume Batman is busy. Or if he's not, he's just
straight up ghosting me. - Fine, I'll abandon all hopes
of ever getting cheek kissed. I mean, how bad could things
with Roy really be? [energetic music] - You can't hurt me
with your stanky flan. Nothing can hurt Ragin' Roy. - How about this laser? - [whining] Owwie,
that hurt me! I want my mommy! - Tough beets, Boris! This is real life! Now then,
if I may bring your attention to this incredibly long spool
of fuse, I'm going to unravel it
offscreen, and then I'll light it. If your little fairies don't show up
by the time this fuse hits that rocket... [cackles] You can say do svidaniya
to Planet Earth! [cackles] - [hoarsely] I just have
one question. [normally] Did you make
the fuse incredibly long so you could go fart offscreen? - Shut up! - [hoarsely]
Well, old Roy, looks like you've got yourself
attached to a real rocket. - [half-heartedly]
Ragin' Roy, do you read me? I'm here to save you. - Really? Aw, that's cool of you. - It is pretty cool,
considering I was just about to get
cheek kissed by my crush. Now tell me what you see
so I can get you outta there. - I see tree...
- ♪ Mopping a tree ♪ - Bench, table... - ♪ The life of a janitor's ♪
- Tree again. - ♪ The life for me ♪
- Another bench. No, that's the same bench. Zina, will you stop singing? I'm trying
to tell Viv what I see. - That's it! Zina's the side character. In every episode
of "Action High," there's a side character
who can secretly kick butt. It's super predictable, but
it might be our only way out. - Hey, Janitor Zina, can you kick butt? - I don't know, but I'll kick
anything you want. Just tell me you love me. - I... - I wasn't farting! [fuse sizzling] Well, well, well,
if it isn't the unsuspecting janitor. I suggest you continue
mopping that tree. I've got a boy with fairies
to launch into space. - Ragin' Roy was about
to tell me he loved me! - Eh... - [ululates] [dramatic music] [grunting] - Mission Control? - What, Roy? - Ragin' Roy
don't usually do sorrys. It's one of his best qualities.
[chuckles] But I'm sorry. I should've let you have
your moment. - Thanks, Roy. And I admit,
you were right. Shouldn't have to change
the world for a guy to like me. - Yeah, especially because
in regular Dimmsdale, you're way too smart
and special for Dumont. both: Aww! - Run, my love. I got the lit fuse. - Is she okay? - [farts] - Yeah, she's alive. - You wanna put that fuse out? And then plug your ears?
- Ooh, you're weird. I like that. [fizzling] - I wish everything
was back to normal. - Yeah, normal, where
no one's kissing my cheek. Also, I'm kind of hangry. I wish for a sandwich. [upbeat music] ♪ ♪ - Go talk to him! You got this, chica. - I don't got this, chica.
- You got this, chica. I really don't.
- You got this, mamas. - I don't! - Go talk to him!
- Nuh-uh! - Go, go, go!
- No, no, no! - Fine, I'll go talk to him. - Don't you dare! - Mamas! Where's that voice been hiding? - I don't know. Dumont Prinze
just makes me crazy. I mean, look at him. What is it about guy
who eats cake with chopsticks? - [dreamily] Sophisticated. Now go get him, girl. Oh, just keep in mind, if you say something and he
responds with "That's wild," that means he's bored, and you gotta pivot. - Ooh. You got spit in my eye. - But if you say something
and he responds with "that's sick," it means your pivot
was practically perfect. - Okay, got it. [sing-song] I've got
the perfect opening line! [light music] ♪ ♪ Is that my-croscope or your-croscope? - What? - I said, is that my-croscope
or your-- - It's neither
of our croscopes. I'm just holding it
for my friend who needed to use the bathroom. ♪ ♪ - Why would anyone
bring a microscope to the bathroom? [thud]
- Ow! Which one of you twerps left a microscope
in the bathroom again? Was it you, Vivian Turner, who I suspect to have fairies? - [quickly] No, it wasn't me. - Hmm. Exactly what someone
with fairies would say. I'm watching you. Ow, ugh! - Teachers, am I right? Any-scope, what are you getting after
this weekend? - Gonna hit up some parties. - Nice, nice, nice, nice, well, I'm about to crack open this new novel about an
Amish detective girl... - That's wild. - [shouting] Pivot! - Uh, just kidding! This girl will
be going to "partays" all weekend long. - Oh, sick!
- Yes! - Whose party?
- Shoot. Whose party? Was that your question? To me? Because... You know what? [sad music playing]
There is no party. I just lied to impress you,
which was dumb, but I'm gonna spend
the whole weekend reading and watching
"Riverpound." And before you make
fun of me for loving
British costume dramas set in the 1800s, just know--
- Shh. - I love "Riverpound." I love how the bookish girl
always gets a gentle kiss on the cheek
from a prince. [hopeful music playing] Viv? - Viv? Viv? Vivian!
- Oh! What-- what happened? - You fainted. Dumont asked,
"Whose party?" and then you said,
"Whose party?" and then, boom, straight up fainted. Someone posted
a Clik-Clok of it. - Oh, this could not get
any worse! - Oh, boy howdy,
does it get worse. Dumont commented,
"That was weird lol," and then my mom commented, "He is definitely not gonna
ask you out now, Vivian." A little kick emoji. - I'm just gonna curl up
with a ball of cheese and watch "Riverpound." - Baby girl. I thought I told you to pivot. - Oh! - Well, I'm pivoting home. - The dating world is so tough. Aren't you glad we don't have to deal with all
that stuff anymore? Now that we're a perfect pair. - Yeah, not a pair, Zina. ♪ ♪ - You spin that ball
like you'll spin my heart. ♪ ♪ - Previously
on "Riverpound"... - Lady Buttunia,
I'm now going to kiss you the only way we know how to
in Riverpound, gently and upon the cheek. - [mouth full]
He's such a rake. [loud kiss] [both sigh] - I bet if Dimmsdale
were like "Riverpound," Dumont would be gently
macking on my cheek instead of me, alone,
snacking on my cheese. - Oh, they're about to decide if it's finally time to feed the ducks. - Now, have we considered
the duck feeding from all angles? - Oh, my God, have they still not
fed the ducks on "Riverpound" yet? - How long can they talk
about something before they do it on that show? - As long as it takes. - They need to consider it
from all angles! - Vivian! [dramatic tango music playing] Hey girl, hey,
just checking on you. - I'm guessing you saw
the Clik-Clok of me. - Fainting?
Ow! We don't know
what you're talking about. - Rachel
literally commented on it. - My comment got, like,
40 likes. - [sternly] Rachel. - But I hope things work out
for you and Dumont. Who knows? Maybe he likes the way you, what's the word for it? Oh, look, we've exited. - Can everyone
please just let me binge "Riverpound" in peace? - No, I hate "Riverpound." We should watch "Action High." - Ooh! - Now there's a show! [upbeat music playing] - ♪ It's "Action High" ♪ - ♪ Instead of math,
they learn to punch ♪ - ♪ "Action High" ♪ - ♪ Instead of Language Arts,
they learn kicking ♪ ♪ No time for prom
when there's a bomb ♪ ♪ Raction Righ ♪ [coughs] - Did they say "Raction Righ"? - Reck reah, they did. - Ugh, every episode
is the same. They defuse a bomb, the villain captures someone, a random side character reveals they have
amazing fighting skills. At the end, someone says, "How about some nachos?" and everyone laughs
like it's funny! - [laughs]
Nachos! Funny. Let's go watch it somewhere away
from these haters. - And eat some nachos. Raction Righ! Whoo! - You know, none of this
would have ever happened if Dimmsdale
were like "Riverpound." - Yeah, fainting's cool
in the Pound. - And I bet Dumont
would be crazy for me there. - You think he'd kiss you
gently and on the cheek? - Only one way to find out. I wish Dimmsdale was
like the show "Riverpound." narrator: Welcome
to Dimmsdale. Starring... - Oh, no, I'm the duck guy
in "Riverpound"? narrator: [laughs]
Yes. [elegant classical music] ♪ ♪ - This is the best wish ever. - Look at all
the old-timey kids doing old timey stuff. - Watch the goo,
watch the goo! Chamber pot coming through. - Zina! - Sorry, love, can't talk. I'm a chamber pot maid, I am. ♪ 'Tis the life
of a chamber pot maid ♪ - Okay. If this is anything like
"Riverpound," I'll just be sitting here,
reading under a tree, and soon Dumont-- - Pardon me, madam. They call me Prince Dumont because that is my name and my title. Perchance,
are you reading a book? Perchance under the tree,
perchance? - Why, yes,
this very book under this very tree, per this very chance. - [chuckles] You're not like other girls,
are you? - I'm not. At all.
- Viv! - Ahh! - I can't believe you made
Dimmsdale like "Riverpound." - [scoffs]
It's Lady Viv, and yes. - Can I make it
"Action High" instead? I'm tired of wrangling ducks! They're bitey! - Not until
I get my cheek kissed. - What am I supposed
to do until then? [ducks quacking]
- Oh, no. I let the ducks loose again. And they's being extra bitey,
they is! - [groans] [brassy music] - ♪ She's a stranger from afar
and he's a local star ♪ ♪ And now they're family ♪ ♪ And they have OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪ - ♪ Normal floaty fish ♪
- ♪ Until we grant your wish ♪ - ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪ ♪ New shirt, blue skirt,
instant dessert ♪ - ♪ Swim wear, lazy chair ♪ ♪ Chocolate square,
time to share ♪ - ♪ Gold throne, clear phone ♪ ♪ Dino bone, silly clone ♪ - ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪ ♪ It flips your lid
when you are a kid ♪ ♪ With Fairly OddParents! ♪ ♪ In real life ♪ [dreamy music] narrator:
Hornet Royalty Gus has just listed
all his best qualities. - Not enough! - Out with ye! - ♪ Off ya go,
off ya go ♪ ♪ At night, I sleeps
in a trough, ya know ♪ - No! both: Next! - Ahoy, ahoy,
lords and lasses. Allow me to cut to the chase. I'm rich. - Oh, he seems rich. - I'm getting that vibe
as well. Continue with your wooing. - This is amazing. - What's the point of all this? We all know you're gonna
end up with Dumont. - They have to consider it
from all angles, Wanda. Why must you be so loutish? - So in conclusion, I am rich. - [tearfully] Beautiful. - [tearfully]
He's just so rich. - One question, though. Are you... evil? [sinister music plays]
- No... - Good enough for us. - Well, Nathaniel,
since you and your money are the last suitors before us,
I hereby declare you-- - Wait! - Dumont! I was beginning
to think you wouldn't show. - How could I not? You're bookish. - Prince Dumont, you may be charming and handsome
and well top-hatted... - But can you beat rich and suddenly moustached and most likely not evil? - Hmm.
- Look, if I may offer a gift
that pales in comparison to Viv's beauty... - Ooh, a bribe! - He might be rich, too. ♪ ♪ - It's beautiful... despite being smudged
with chamber pot goo. - Oh, s'my bad, it is. - I also wrote
an epic poem about-- - Viv, I'm bored! Can we do an "Action High" now? I am sick of these ducks! - Ah, can everyone talk amongst themselves about
how I'm not like other girls while I talk
to my insolent stepbrother? [talking indiscernibly] - Would you calm down? I'm just trying to get a gentle cheek kiss
from Dumont, and then you can wish
for Dimmsdale to be like "Action High." - That could take forever! Took them six episodes
on "Riverpound" to finally decide
to feed the ducks. - They fed them? Spoilers, Roy! - I don't get why
you're doing all this. You shouldn't have to change
the world to get a guy. - I'm gonna ignore
how insightful that was because being wooed
is kind of awesome. - Milady,
is your stepbrother bothering you? - Actually, he is. He's getting in the way
of my gentle cheek kiss. - Just for that, gruel for supper. And for dessert, flan! - No! Flan is just sugar boogers
floating in its own snot. - Toodle-oo, flan boy. - [chortles haughtily] Oh, lady Vivian, so droll. - Cosmo, Wanda. I want outta here. - Honey, I agree that
"Riverpound" isn't your style, but don't you think it might be
a good idea to let Viv have
the spotlight for a minute? - Mm... no. I wish that Dimmsdale
was like "Action High". - Oh, well, we tried. - ♪ Dimmsdale High ♪ ♪ Ragin' Roy ♪ - ♪ He's got
a gnarly eyepatch ♪ - ♪ Kara-Ty ♪ - ♪ He'll kara-ty
your face off ♪ - ♪ Rootin' Tootin' Ray Ray ♪ - ♪ I guess she's a cowboy ♪ - ♪ Mission Control Viv ♪ - ♪ She's stuck to a chair ♪ - Geez!
- Deal with it. - ♪ Janitor Zina ♪ - ♪ You know
what a janitor is ♪ - ♪ Daredevil Dumont ♪ - ♪ Skateboarding ninja
with no interest in Viv ♪ - Come on!
- Deal with it. - ♪ And Evil Vicky 'cause ♪ ♪ We gotta have a bad guy ♪
- [growls] - ♪ On Rimmsrale Righ ♪ - Okay, I seriously
can't get out of my chair. - Hah, I know,
'cause it's ♪ Rimmsrale Righ ♪ [coughs] Oh, yeah, that's the take. [siren wails] [police scanner chatter] [helicopter whirring] ♪ ♪ - [hoarsely] Ugh.
[spits] Splinter. Gettin' too old
for these picks. - Ragin' Roy! Are you thirsty? - I could drink. - Thanks for keeping
our High so safe. - [clicks tongue] Two hydrogen atoms,
one oxygen atom. So far, so water. But hold on! The third ingredient... is bomb! Citizens! Code explosion! [energetic music] - ♪ Rimmsrale Righ ♪ - Ragin' Roy
to Mission Control, Ragin' Roy to Mission Control. I've got a hunch
that I'm holding a bomb. Do you read me? - Actually,
I can't read anything because all my books are gone. - Yeah, that's because in
"Action High," the only books are bombs! - Of course they are. I cannot believe that you
wished us out of "Riverpound." I was this close to getting
a gentle cheek kiss, and now I can't even
get out of my chair! - Serves you right
for making me wrangle ducks in "Riverpound" Dimmsdale
for a whole hour! - Look, how about a truce? Half the town,
including the quad, can remain like "Action High." - You've got a deal. - I'm not done. The other half, including
Fancy Dance Dance Studio, will be like "Riverpound." - So you're telling me
that Dimmsdale's gonna be like a banana dessert and split? - Wait, didn't you have a bomb
you're dealing with? Shouldn't I help you
defuse it before-- - Ah, I've got a bush-ier idea. ♪ ♪ All in a day's bush. - ♪ Rimmsrale Righ ♪ - Cosmo, Wanda? - Look at me.
I'm a jet pilot. [imitates jet plane] Honk-honk!
Move it, cloud! - [groans]
What's your wish, Viv? - I wish
that Dimmsdale was split. Half "Riverpound,"
half "Action High." [dramatic music] - Yeehaw! I'm a cowboy,
I guess. Good heavens. I'm a countess, I suppose. [gentle music playing] [energetic music] [police scanner chatter] - [sighs]
Another great day, mullet. One thing I can't resist,
besides danger? A tarsty plate of nachos. [gas hissing] What's that gas? Why am I so sleepy? Surely these events
aren't connected. [thud] [energetic music playing] - Oh, strap. This can't be good. - [Russian accent]
It's not good. Quite the contrary, in fact. - Oh, no! It's Vicky von Evil! You'll never get away
with this. By the way, what is this? - It's simple, really. I've long suspected
you two have fairy godparents, so I've put you
in a high-stakes situation that forces you
to call upon your fairies. And once they poof in here, I'ma steal 'em. - And what happens
if I don't have fairies? - Then I'll have
one less twerp to deal with. You'll be launch-a-doodled
into space, straight to Jupiter's
stinkiest moon, where all they serve is flan. [cackles] - Mission Control, help! I'm in a narsty sitch! [chair squeaking]
Mission Control? Mishin contra? - We're sorry,
the Mission Control you're trying to reach is off
getting that cheek kiss and therefore cannot save you. Good luck. - Ruh-roh. - ♪ Rimmsrale Righ ♪ - ♪ Rimmsrale Righ ♪ - [cackles] - You won't be laughing evilly once I rip these straps
into smaller straps! - Those straps are made
of unbreakable strapium. - But those are unbreakable! - Exactly. But I'm sure
your fairies could break them. - Gulp. - Oh, no. We gotta tell Vicky. - You mean Viv? - Yeah, sure, that one. - Two suitors left, one single ornate feather. - One of you is
a handsome prince who has obvious chemistry with Lady Vivian.
- The other, a rich boy
who I'm now certain is evil. [sinister music plays]
- [dubiously] Who, me? - Yep. - If I may,
I have a clear choice of who I want
to gently kiss my cheek. - We are the parents. In this era, we alone decide. But you like Dumont,
right, sweetie? - Yeah!
- Ooh, yay! We'll be right back. My wife
and I have discussed it, and the single ornate feather
goes to... - Prince Dumont. - Drat! I had so many evil plans, most involving flan. - ♪ Out you go,
out you go ♪ ♪ I've never sat on a couch,
you know ♪ - Never sat on a common couch? You can't be serious! - Well, Lady Vivian, the time has come to place the single ornate feather in Dumont's hat. [romantic music] ♪ ♪ - [whispering loudly]
We'll give you some privacy. - Well, I suppose
the only thing left to do is gently kiss you
upon the cheek. [both sigh] [twinkling] - Uh, yes! That is exactly
what we're gonna do. I just need to powder my cheek. Don't move a muscle. Keep puckering. - [strained] Uh, as you wish, but I shan't stay
puckered forever. - You guys, I was just about
to get cheek kissed! - We know, but Vicky
captured Roy to capture us! - Fine, I'll call him. Where's my phone? - In the 21st century, dear. - You could write him
a letter, and maybe he'll get it
in a month or two... unless the mail carrier
gets lost or gets a paper cut and dies. - Fine, I'll go to the quad. - Sweetie, I'm afraid in the "Action High" version of Dimmsdale,
you can only be in your mission control seat. - With no dates or friends. - That's it! Sorry, Roy,
I'm staying here. - No!
- You're his only hope! We can't interfere, or Vicky will catch us. - And I assume Batman is busy. Or if he's not, he's just
straight up ghosting me. - Fine, I'll abandon all hopes
of ever getting cheek kissed. I mean, how bad could things
with Roy really be? [energetic music] - You can't hurt me
with your stanky flan. Nothing can hurt Ragin' Roy. - How about this laser? - [whining] Owwie,
that hurt me! I want my mommy! - Tough beets, Boris! This is real life! Now then,
if I may bring your attention to this incredibly long spool
of fuse, I'm going to unravel it
offscreen, and then I'll light it. If your little fairies don't show up
by the time this fuse hits that rocket... [cackles] You can say do svidaniya
to Planet Earth! [cackles] - [hoarsely] I just have
one question. [normally] Did you make
the fuse incredibly long so you could go fart offscreen? - Shut up! - [hoarsely]
Well, old Roy, looks like you've got yourself
attached to a real rocket. - [half-heartedly]
Ragin' Roy, do you read me? I'm here to save you. - Really? Aw, that's cool of you. - It is pretty cool,
considering I was just about to get
cheek kissed by my crush. Now tell me what you see
so I can get you outta there. - I see tree...
- ♪ Mopping a tree ♪ - Bench, table... - ♪ The life of a janitor's ♪
- Tree again. - ♪ The life for me ♪
- Another bench. No, that's the same bench. Zina, will you stop singing? I'm trying
to tell Viv what I see. - That's it! Zina's the side character. In every episode
of "Action High," there's a side character
who can secretly kick butt. It's super predictable, but
it might be our only way out. - Hey, Janitor Zina, can you kick butt? - I don't know, but I'll kick
anything you want. Just tell me you love me. - I... - I wasn't farting! [fuse sizzling] Well, well, well,
if it isn't the unsuspecting janitor. I suggest you continue
mopping that tree. I've got a boy with fairies
to launch into space. - Ragin' Roy was about
to tell me he loved me! - Eh... - [ululates] [dramatic music] [grunting] - Mission Control? - What, Roy? - Ragin' Roy
don't usually do sorrys. It's one of his best qualities.
[chuckles] But I'm sorry. I should've let you have
your moment. - Thanks, Roy. And I admit,
you were right. Shouldn't have to change
the world for a guy to like me. - Yeah, especially because
in regular Dimmsdale, you're way too smart
and special for Dumont. both: Aww! - Run, my love. I got the lit fuse. - Is she okay? - [farts] - Yeah, she's alive. - You wanna put that fuse out? And then plug your ears?
- Ooh, you're weird. I like that. [fizzling] - I wish everything
was back to normal. - Yeah, normal, where
no one's kissing my cheek. Also, I'm kind of hangry. I wish for a sandwich. [upbeat music] Oh, strap! That's where the barn went? - Viv. You need to come
downstairs right now. I got a surprise for you. - I'm good. This book has given me
enough surprises for today. - [whining] Come on! - Okay, fine. - Yeah! ♪ ♪ [whimsical music] - Ladies and gentlemen, Lady Vivian approaches. ♪ ♪ - Come get your cheek kiss,
my dear. - One moment. Roy, did you wish
for the living room to be like
"Riverpound" just for me? - Yeah,
I was kind of a huge jerk, and the least that I could do
is make sure you got your cheek kissed. - Aw. Thanks, Roy. [romantic music playing] ♪ ♪ [giggles] [both sigh] [both sigh] - How was that? - That was... That was...
[splat] - Oh, man, Viv. You landed right
in a pile of chamber pot goo. - ♪ 'Tis the life
of a chamber pot maid! ♪ ♪ ♪
