Vir Das | Stand-Up Comedy | Indians are Racist-ish

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] ladies and gentleman Indian people we spend our lives claiming that were victims of racism don't we but yet all Indians back home ready for the races right but it's this strange dichotomous field racism mixed with like feudalism and servitude in a curry like if a beautiful American girl blond hair blue eyes comes down to Delhi and is walking down the road because she's insane within two minutes there will be two fat balding paunchy indian men across the road looking at her like madam hello man ah think about the dichotomy of that racism while they are creeping her the out they are still calling her madam there is respect there and look like most Eastern cultures our version of racism is what we adapted from what was taught to us by the British I'm sorry it's true this isn't the first brexit to happen in history ladies and gentlemen it's just the first intentional one all right Britain ruled America the road Africa they ruled the Orient I feel like Britain must look at America the way Venus looks at Serena like I trained you you learnt this from me nob I'm going to tell you a story about racism ladies and gentleman and I guarantee you at some point you're going to get uncomfortable but hang in there with me there's a good ending so I was surfing in the south of India couple of different nationalities me couple of grits couple of Aussies black guy named Marcus as Marcus is holding his surfboard walking down to the beach he stopped by a Tamil villager who says saw saw saw stopped you you black lucky now hang on this man then goes to his house wakes up two sleeping children from their afternoon nap as they rub their eyes and says he black lucky now I submit you that that is not racism on two counts ladies and gentlemen number one there is no malice in that man's heart there is fascination there is curiosity and number two this happened in Tamil Nadu where the villager and his whole family are ten times darker than the black guy and then the kids around Marcus and they playing with him and his he's playing back and they're looking at his hand and looking at their own hand and they touch his hair and they touch their own hair it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen it is the most honest simple non judgemental naive way of acknowledging our differences acknowledging them because we are different aren't we ladies and gentleman my hair is different my skin is different my color is different my values are different and it's okay to talk about that if we just talk about the fact that we are different and acknowledge why we are different instead of pretending that nobody is different and since secretly thinking we are different we might finally all be on the same page and be less different if you took that man out of Tamilnadu and dropped him right here in the middle of New York City he'd walk around in Holland just going you black back you black black you black black dragon tree blood Eddie blood blood and when he got out of the hospital he went back it's okay he wouldn't understand what he has done wrong because to him political correctness is not a concept that he understands like it is stupid in your head see it once learn educate yourself find out why it's wrong never see it again do you agree with me yes or no good so let's start tonight so white people I submit to you this all Indians Pakistanis Bangladeshis Nepalese and Sri Lankans we all look the thing please confuse us or you like we essentially the same people it's okay the only difference between me and a Pakistani person is increased musical quality and decreased life expectancy that's it [Applause] [Music] Hey [Music]

Channel: Vir Das COMEDY

Views: 10,326,745

Keywords: Kapil Sharma (comedian), Bollywood Tabloid, Akshay Kumar, Denver, Acting, Shahid Kapoor, Salman Khan, Theatre, Eddie Murphy, Cricket, Bill Maher, Goa trance, The Colbert Report, Amazon.com, George Carlin, Los Angeles, Jimmy Fallon, Sonu Nigam, Jack Black (company), Hrithik Roshan, Tenacious D (album), The Denver Post, Dave Chappelle, Kumail Nanjiani, Denver Nuggets, Wanda Sykes, Rock and roll, Sunburn, Music festivals, Seth Rogen, Jack Black

Id: xU-zhajzad4

Length: 4min 59sec (299 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 16 2017