Vinod Venkatraman | Heart Touching Testimony

readings to you in the mighty name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ hello I'm Bea northern cat Ramon and I hailed from the state of Kerala India I was born and brought up in a very Orthodox Hindu Brahmin family on 12th December 1983 we as a family we're about to commit mass suicide that's about 37 years back I just want to share with you how is that a person who's supposed to be dead and done 37 years before it's still alive what does that happen in my life which has made me to survive that suicide attempt and still be with you today to start with I just want to read a verse from the Holy Bible the book of Job chapter 42 and was to say it's like this let me just read it for you if you have your Bible with you you can just turn to JoVE the book of Job which is right before Sam's chapter 42 verse 2 let me just read it I know that you can do all things no purpose of yours can be throttled I just want to tell you one thing maybe towards the end of my speech you all will come to know that the God whom I am worshipping and whom I am serving is capable of doing everything and none of his plants will be throttled I thank once again the Lord Jesus giving me this great privilege to meet you through this webcast I said we as a family we hail from this Orthodox Hindu Brahmin culture we hailed from a place called : gourd which is a part of northern Kerala which is a bordering place to Tamil Nadu in 1960 sizzle my parents were like they don't know each other at that time they were in married they moved out of Kerala for official purpose to get a job and for the livelihood my mom she moved with the parents to a place called Jamshedpur and my grandfather he started working in tata steel's as their audit manager and the father he was bored in to Tamil Nadu where he got a job he was growing and flourishing in the job by the time they got married he was a manager in a shipping firm which was involved in the activities of stevedoring and ships handling and those kind of things dad was running good very well settled mom also was the only child to her parents so pampered and loud and provided with much more than what she asked they both got married the married life started off very well dad was a very Orthodox devotee of this Lord Ayyappa which he has a temple in a hill station called Sabarimala he was a devotee who worshipped that shrine twice a year for almost 22 years he did that that's life started off very well happily their married life started one out of the other children went brown I am the eldest I had three brothers and I have one sister I hope you are listening to me keenly let me repeat I had three brothers I have one sister today I am just going to share with you what does that happen in our life which completely made his a upside-down dad started off his work and his family life everything was going so smoothly with his friends as we all do he do socialize every now and then maybe once in a blue moon day once in a month he just go have some you know like fellowship with his friends spend some time one of his friend who was working together with him saw the growth of dad in his work automatically jealousy came into him he was trying to pull that down through several ways which he could not but he could not go ahead with but then finally what it did was he catch all of somebody who is good at witchcraft he did some kind of a witch graph against me dad so dad became an addict to alcohol from that point of time he started to drink and drink and drink if you have your Bible just turn with me to the book of proverbs which is right after science and chapter 23 if we mother we can see towards the end the words of chapter 23 the writer he explains your starting was 29 who has whoa who has sorrow who has strife who has complains who has needed bruises who has bloodshot eyes those who linger over wine who go to sample balls of mixing wine and he tells us when the wine is red when it sparkles on the cup when is gold on smoothly do not gaze at wine because in the end it will bite like a snake and poisons like a wiper you eyes will see strange sights and your mind will imagine confusing things you will be like one sleeping on high seas lying on top of the rigging they hit me you will say but I am not hot they beat me but I don't feel it when will I wake up so I can find another drink this was the exact story of my dad he became an hardcore addict to alcoholism because of his habit he lost his job he thought I don't need a job now I know people I have contacts I'm good enough in my walk I have money so he started his own business in our three months time he has to wind it up several other ventures he ventured into everything was enter into a loss he could not stand form in any of us the ventures that he ventured into then he thought let me just open up a general store non-perishable items I'll sell nothing can happen to that he opened up the shop spending a huge amount of money there was a lot of money at home it was mom she being an only child for her parents they gave almost I heard about 1.5 kilos of gold even more than that and there were houses all all utensils that you need everything was done at home so he started that shop he kept two of them two of the people for walking there and he tried running the shop every day morning he goes the moment he gets 50 or 100 rupees in the cashbox he will just walk off with her to the shop to drink he left the whole store into the hands of the servants within six months time they completely looted everything other than the shelves there was nothing again into loss then dot dad he thought there is no need for me to work anymore I have so much money generations of mine can sit and eat without working so his life was like this when will I wake up so that I can drink again but dad as I said he used to go to that hilltop twice a year during those days used to take a fast I don't know what happens to him but during that period he doesn't consume alcohol we get to see your dad as my own dad my mom she used to get to see her husband as how he used to be we enjoy that period but it will perish very soon the moment he comes back from the temple on the way itself he'll be fully drunk and he will be coming and serving the things that were devoted to those god and goddesses in a complete set of mindset filled with alcohol again our counting starts when will dad go back there slowly we started losing our money the Assad started eroding one after other a dad started selling and then the rest he started keeping it for loan and taking money but there was no income so he could not pay back anything about 12 years of time we went off in 1971 dad and mom they got married by the time it was 1982 and 83 we lost completely everything there was nothing for us left we don't even had food to eat he won't believe I just had a pair of trousers shorts maybe and a t-shirt nothing else if mom has to wash that and put it for drying me being 10 11 year old at that time I was 72 born 1972 I had to stand naked there's only one towel at home first tremendous pressure upon mom dad was like this somebody will come and say your husband is lying somewhere maybe next day somewhere else mom has to go pick him up put him in a rickshaw and bring back home and make him sleep by the time we all woke up he's already gone he was so much wandering there was no money even for us to eat food but somehow or other he manages to get drinks he used to drink this slowly slowly slowly started affecting mom she slowly started developing hatred 'no steward's her husband by seeing the life of her only daughter my grandparents my maternal grandparents they both died because of heart attack within three months of span there was no relatives who are willing to cope up with us there was no friends to my dad everybody has given him because from everybody we have taken money but we have not paid back to anybody to a house owner there was a pending friend of about six months one day he came and he said kindly just leave my place I know you could not pay back past six months rent I'm just writing it off please vacate and gave me we came to the streets one of the colleagues of my dad's who was a peon in his office he was a Muslim uncle he took us to go to his home gave a shelter and food for the next six months a life was literally changed from a very luxurious life we were literally into deep poverty we don't know how we are going to eat we don't know what's the next step that we are going to take we slowly slowly lost all hope several people came and gave several councils to my mom she started visiting temple after temple she started visiting priest after priest she started doing all the rituals that they asked her to do but there is no change in the life of that in 1982 and 83 when he was just going to those shrines which I was just mentioning before they used to carry a bag packed with few items which they use to worship the deity there along with the he used to carry his liquor bottle also on the way to the temple he drink in the temple shrine he will drink on the way back he will drink little bit off hope that we had only at least during those time he won't consume alcohol even that was shattered mom started losing all our hope in between she got a small job in a nursery school taking care of some nursery kids she used to run about 400 rupees a month in 1981 82 83 we don't know where dad will be but on the first of every month he'll come home he will beat mama he will abuse her and he will snatch the salary cover and run away again one month of struggle and starving all these things added up to the hatred Ness in two moms she started hitting him the hatred got converted into Roth by the time I lost about two of my brothers one was a 10 month old boy and other was a 10 year old boy this is how it goes in 1982 the 10 month old boy was affected with cholera and you might be knowing the symptoms for cholera is vomiting and diarrhea we admitted him into a government hospital we didn't had funds to take him to any private hospital they treated him maybe bought I think 16 or 17 days several bottles of blood then Saleem was just given as ibn to him they discharged him we could see that his vomiting and his diarrhea stopped by the time he came back home two days he was okay on the third day morning when mom was just trying to feed him she found her son to be dead and no more such one we rushed to a private hospital and we came to know he was affected with cholera the Hospital the government hospital was able to treat the symptoms but not the sickness this was a big thud in mom's heart she became so sad and sorrowful again people came consoled her comforted her and gave her hope by making her to wish it several other deities and do several other rituals I think paid off in 1983 October the same thing happened to my next brother called Vimala he just completed his ninth year that was his birthday mom cooked some Puri and some you know like potato sabzi we all ate some leftover was there he just took that up and wanted to give it to the there was a circus team which are just doing circus on the roads he went distributed and came back he started a vomiting in loose motion mom took him rushed him to the hospital which is about 13 kilometers away from a home he was there for about a week my landlady by the time we shipped it to house my landlady and he said we know why can't he just go inquire about your brother and come back we went we enquired about and I found him mom said he has been treated well his loose motion and vomiting has stopped God willing tomorrow he'll be discharged so I'll come back take care of your brother and your sister I'll come and cook good food so with lot of hope and happiness I came back home the next day morning in a cycle rickshaw about twelve in the noon mom reached our home we all were wondering how come mom could come in a rickshaw because the bus stop is hardly hundred two hundred meters away from our home no rickshaw person will come for such a short distance by the time mom reached home she just fainted on the rickshaw itself my younger brother was lying on a lap she just I entered upon him even then there was no movement upon on him so the ante ran and she sprinkled some water and asked mummy mommy's name is Lolita say she called lolly what happened she said oh my elder sister what can I tell you rimmel isn't no more morning he had he was just saying he was thirsty so I went to a nearby tea shop to get him some hot water by the time I came back the next bed people said he has done and normal he had hiccups thrice like this price and then he is done and over same issues they treated the symptoms but not the sickness I didn't had any money to bring the cops to my home on the dead body of my son to my home so I have to tell lies to the rich Avila I didn't have money they are not treating him I could not say that it's a dead body else he won't come so for 13 kilometers I was just carrying this child in my lap and I was sitting in this hot Sun to reach home it took some 4 to 6 hours time here to reach him dad came to know this he came back he started beating his heart and he started crying and telling mom Lali I know all this is because of me hereafter I will never drink I have given up alcoholism I know it's all happened because of me he was just lying on a on his on her feet and asking it forgiveness so mom thought it's good even after losing two of my sons if my husband can change nothing like it reverse we have three more children all the cremation and everything happened dad was not consuming alcohol as he promised but all that withstood for another three to five days on the sixth day again he started drinking mom got very furious a lot of arguments happened before them no changes in his life that's when her hatred nests became Roth and Roth prompted her to murder him just to kill him she bought poison on Twelfth Night December 1983 she bought poison she cooked rice and in the broth of the rice she makes the poison she fed the rice to all three children which is me and my brother and my sister we all ate and we slept mom was waiting for dad to come so that she can feed him the poisoned broth and kill him and then her plan was to make us the children drink that and she will also drink and we as a family commit mass suicide well there was no further hope for us on that night when mom was just mixing up this poison tears were running down in her eyes she started shouting it was in a Hindu religion we have been taught there are 33 crores of god and goddesses like 33 millions of God and goddesses she started calling one after the other name by name and she started screaming if at all that is any true Living God who can hear me who can see my sorrows who can understand my situation and if you just come down to help us to save us from this situation I will follow you and I will just go back following you and you alone we don't have time to live but we want to live we don't have an option in front of us but we don't want to live I don't know what to do if I told there is any true Living God please come and help us like a mad woman she was just literally crying wholeheartedly you know Peter when he was just preaching at the house of Cornelius he is making a statement which we can read in the book of Acts chapter 10 verse 34 will we read like this you can also just turn with me book of Acts chapter 10 verse 34 it says like this then Peter began to speak I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism was 35 but except from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right also just turned with me to the book of Exodus chapter 3 verses 7 and 8 when God is just telling Moses about the Israelites who are being tortured by the Egyptians in Egypt he says here like this the Lord said I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers and I am concerned about their sufferings so I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land a land flowing with milk and honey you know what happened mom will just keep on crying all of a sudden this room was illuminated as such it was glowing thousands of lights were glowing there was a huge pillar of light which is ascended from above from that light that came a voice calling my mother by name my dear daughter Lalita I am the true living god whom you have been screaming out to my name is Jesus Christ only me and me alone can save you other than me there is no other Savior who is there in this world to save people from eternal death Lalita if you believe me you will see the glory of God and I will not just save you from this physical death and also from eternal death lengthe do you believe me mom was so astonished and he started telling the Lord the voice that came how can I believe you I have just heard about you in my corn men times my god and goddesses could not do whom I have been serving for years together now how could I believe that you will change my husband how could I believe that you will redeem me how could I believe that he will give me back a new life the Lord caught all of her hand and took her my hand to a temple this voice now has changed into a trance a wishin one was seeing in that vision Lord was holding her hands and taking her in front of a temple there were three people who were begging a leper a blind and lame Jesus touched all the three of them the lame started to walk the leper was healed from his leprosy the blind started to see Jesus started telling mom I have cleansed today all the leprosy of sins from your life I sprinkled pure water upon you you will be cleansed and he said all that isn't darkness in your life it's going to start seeing light from today onwards you will no more be in darkness all that is stagnated like a lame foot will start moving tomorrow morning 6:15 only your husband will come when he comes and knocked the door you just share with him all that you have seen and you take him to rope Street two Assemblies of God Church in that church there is a pastor by name jabo monedas he will explain you what more you have to do on that night after seeing this vision mom slept then and there in the kitchen itself you know if mom would have not slept on that twelfth night December 1983 today I won't be standing in front of you that's why at the beginning I just read a verse for you from job 42 was to none of your purposes can be throttled my mom purposed to kill my dad and to us as a family but God purposed me us especially me for that matter today to be with you and glorify this God to the stretchy mone see you could see whose purpose has been fulfilled mom started hearing somebody knocking the door you know one thing the sama says God gives sleep to his beloved whatever be your situation how much ever trauma that you are undergoing whatever be hopeless be a situation how much ever pressures and pain that just suck you are undergoing whatever be your suffering you know if you look up to this God whose name is Jesus he is the hope Giver he is the hope of glory he will come into you and he will fill you with the hope and his glory he is the only hope for the hopeless he is the one he will give you glory he will just lift you up from the ashes and he will lift your head somebody was knocking the door long went and opened up the door it was dad exactly the time was 6:15 I am talking about a God who just tells if he says it is done and over he will never go back from his words mom started explaining this to my dad initially he was very resistant he was just beating mom saying What nonsense are you talking you're trying to convert a Brahmin into a Christian who poisoned you but later God gave wisdom to mom and grace to my dad to accept it they both went to Hope Street there God showed them this Assemblies of God Church when they started entering there was a wife just coming from inside brother when dirt ramen please come in I have been waiting for you dad was surprised to hear somebody calling him by his name dad went and asked that person are you pastor Javanese us yes he then dad started laughing and said oh now I could understand you and my wife have met before you are the one who poisoned her and you have already converted her as a Christian and through her you're trying to convert me also you both are playing this drama to make me a Christian never it will happen the pastor said brother don't get annoyed as how I am seeing you for the very first time I am seeing your wife also for the very first time the God who came in a wishin to your wife last night came in a dream and to me and he explained everything about you let me tell you your father had 2 wives your mother is the second wife whom he married after the death of his first wife your mother had seven children only six are alive now the first one was dead when he was a baby out of you six there are two boys and four sisters and you are the youngest dad again started lafi he said all this information my wife also most that's what I was just telling you then the pastor said it's not at over mr. Venkatraman dear brother I will tell you one incident rather two then you will understand that I know things which your wife also even don't know it's not both my ability I know this the God who wants to call you has revealed those things unto me and he started telling me dad Phi of you were together consuming alcohols four of your friends were dead and over because their liver got ruptured and you also have your liver is also ruptured now you have been only given a three months no time to live is it true and above that your wife doesn't know this is it true mr. manga drama dad started crying he was broken he started to weep like a child he asked the pastor pastor tell me what should I do the pastor said see rangatira man do you want to lead a life free of this addiction of alcohol do you want to get rid off this death which is fast approaching you on top of all these things do you want your sins to be forgiven do you want to be saved from the power of sin so that you no more sin do you want it be entering the eternal life and be with God in eternity there's only one way just repent and turn into this God Jesus who came in the vision to your wife confess all your sins in front of him and plead and to him to ask him to forgive you and cleanse you with this blood and then with your mouth you confess that Jesus will be my Lord from today onwards I won't be leading your life according to my own whims and fancies and my will and wish but rather as I am confessing Jesus as my Lord I'll be under his lordship and I will ask him to rule over me and whatever he says only I'll do that whatever he shows only I will do that wherever he wants me to go one day I'll go there if you do this brother manga Raman God in His mercy was full of grace and who is compassionate who has called you who has chosen you even before the beginning of the world will forgive you will cleanse you with his blood and give you a new life dad started confessing all his sins he was just literally so crying and crying he confessed by his mouth that Jesus is Lord and he believed in Jesus according to the gospel that the pastor explained and to him and he believed that Jesus the Saviour of the world the God the only true God who came down in human flesh and died as the restitution for the forgiveness of sin of the human mankind and on the third day he was by the Lord Almighty from among the dead for our righteousness and that day 13th December 1983 God in all his mercy through Jesus Christ forgave all the sins of my dad completely delivered him out of the addiction of alcohol he saved him from the chains and the power of sin on the same day dad got baptized in the name of the Father Son and the Holy Spirit and he owed Jesus he was close with Jesus and he joined the church on that day it was 13 December 1983 he was about to die in three months the God in His mercy extended his life for another twenty long years in those 20 long years dad never ever consumed alcohol anymore he got rid of all his worldly habits on top of all this he got back this job and a position and started earning as much as he used to be even much more than that God started using him mightily on above all this he started witnessing this only true God who pulled him from her this pit and clenched him and made him to stand firm in Christ he started witnessing him among lot many non-believers and Gentiles more than 50 families came to know this true Living God through my dad he starred he was working along with his work he was pastoring a small church of about 100 150 people how wonderful is this Lord you know we were not knowing him we were worshipping idols we were worshipping creatures we were worshipping so many things which are not at all God which a man made but is true living God who came down as a beam or as a pillar of light and revealed himself and tomorrow that's how we as a family were saved from the physical as well as the eternal death my dear friends I just want to offer you this time to ask you if any of you have not had accepted this Jesus as your Lord and Savior and if you haven't believed upon him that he died just for you and your sin to save you from eternal death if you believe upon him as we see in Acts chapter 10 verse 43 to those who ever believed in his name will receive the forgiveness of sin which is a Redemption according to Ephesians 1:7 and that's possible through his blood which cleanses us from all our sins not only that as we see in Romans 3:23 24 everybody sinned and shaul and falls short of his glory but those who believed in him through that redemption he freely made them righteous my dear friends the scripture says there is no one righteous no righteous not even one but there is a great possibility the only way that you can become righteous is by getting your sins forgiven that's possible only you calling upon the name of Jesus this is the time for you to repent for your sin and turn into God and confess it unto him all your sins and in His mercy he is full of mercy he is full of grace he is a great compassionate God he will forgive you today he will cleanse you from all your sins he will get rid of all those idols would have taken the prime plays in your life and he will come inside you and he will reign over you he will take up the throne in your life and he will become your Lord if you confess him to me the scripture says to becoming a righteous you believe into him and to be saved from the power of sin you come for Jesus as Lord it is a great opportunity a God is a God who will deliver you from all your addictions from all your sin here is a great opportunity my dear friends to lead a life without sin to lead a life as how Jesus lived to lead a life pleasing unto God to lead a life obeying every single command of God if you're struggling come on this is the time I came to know this Lord at the age of lemon my life was so wonderful growing in the Lord I was very good at Sunday schools I used to learn all that they teach I was first in everything I was the one who will quickly take up the Bible references when the preacher is presiding that I was the one who used to clap with the loudest sound if someone claps with a better sound than me I get upset I go back home and try clapping and clapping and clapping practicing it so I was ahead of everybody and everybody was praising me everybody was quoting me as an example but after my great 10th exams I went to study diploma in textile technology in a place which is about 300 kilometers away from my home I stayed in the hostel I had no Christian friend there at home there was a lot of pressure for you to pray and to read Bible and to buy heart washes and to tell that your mom then only you will get breakfast there is no such torture there is no such restrictions in the hostel I became a very free man slowly slowly slowly I started drifting away from the Lord because there was no prayer life I was not a regularly I became an I just stopped reading the scriptures slowly I started giving up going for fellowship meetings I drifted away into worldly passions I know the alcoholism how bad it was how difficult it has made our life how much we were troubled because of that even knowing all those things I again went into alcoholism over and above that I started smoking I ended up telling lies I used to smoke about 40 cigarettes a day I consume a lot of alcohol but when I come home I cannot be like that because I was fearing my dad and my mom you know most of us are like that my dad and my mom they don't know what I'm doing in my hostel my brothers they don't know what I'm doing in my hospital my pastor doesn't know what I'm doing in my hospital none of my friends know what I'm doing in my hostel in my private life how I am none of them knows so I was just thinking I am deceiving each and every one of them because I'm smart enough but when I come home I cannot be like that because I fear my dad and my mom you know what is unfortunate that is the God who sees everything in front of him everything is open and naked you cannot cover up anything even whatever you watch underneath your bed spread inside your bathroom covered inside your book your mom doesn't know your father doesn't know your friend doesn't know even your pastor doesn't know you can fool all of them but my dear friend I I didn't know that there's one God who sees everything who knows everything who is watching you every minute rather every second you cannot run away from his sight I didn't had this revelation or this understanding because of that I never feared God you know Pro ops chapter eight was 13 I think it changed like this fearing God he's hating evil not doing evil is not fearing God my friends hating evil is what fearing God I never had fear of God when I came home I could not be what I used to be so what I used to do I used to wear a mask of righteousness a mask of holiness a mask of godliness you know my dear friends Paul is writing to Timothy in his letter 1 Timothy chapter 4 verse 7 and 8 practice godliness he exercised godliness my dear friends if we do not exercise godliness we have to pretend to be godly we have to act that we are godly we will have to deceive people to make them falsely understand what we are not actually you know 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verse 33 says bad company spoils good character irrespective of whom you are irrespective of how long you have stayed with the Lord irrespective of how beautiful Christian family that you been - irrespective of whose child you are be it a pastor or a priest or XYZ whoever it is if you get into bad company it'll spoil your good character it's a done deal I was lusting I was covetous I was a drunkard I was a chain smoker I was a hypocrite yeah see in Galatians chapter 6 verse 3 it says if you think you are as somebody when you are nobody you deceive your own self you don't need Satan to come and deceive you you'll become Satan himself and you will deceive your own self that's what I was doing I thought I was deceiving everybody and I thought I was smart but the scripture is saying we know you are a fool because you are deceiving your own self my diploma education got over I got a job I started earning quickly my salary rose up to five digit and then to six digit I got married I god gave me a beautiful wife he blessed with me - wonderful with two wonderful boys we got a transfer from Chennai to Delhi the first ever one in my office history of about 21 years to be transferred from a regional office to a head office at Delhi a very wanted person I became a very wanted person in the industry very well-known I became an textile expert I worked for about 20 years I started earning a lot of money I had all kind of luxury at life I'm more than into a company which is based at San Francisco heading the entire Asia regional work of product development we were wholesaler of home textiles there was money there was fame there was everything but still I don't have a true relationship with my lord I know so many of us are like that we pretend to be righteous we pretend to be holy we pretend to be godly because we do not exercise godliness we don't have a private prayers we never read the scriptures as we are ought to be praying and reading the scriptures has become a duty for us you know Jeremiah in his book in chapter 15 I think was 16 he says let me just read it for you a minute Jeremiah chapter 15 was 6:16 when your words came I ate them they were and my joy and my heart's delight there were my joy and my heart's delight it's like eating sweets and ice cream for Jeremiah the Word of God it was never and to me like that in those days even if I have been asked to pray I'll just run and pray and go to war I never wanted to spend time with my lord I never wanted to fellowship with him you know 1 Corinthians chapter 1 was 9 says like this let me just read it for you that also 1 Corinthians chapter 1 was 9 it says like this God is faithful who has called you you my dear friend into fellowship with the son Jesus Christ our Lord I have a main calling he has called us and he has made us righteous is basically to fellowship this Lord not to pretend I was just earning I had money I had home I have car a beautiful wife I have wonderful children I have position I have fame I have beauty everything was there I had helped I was prosperous you know these are the measures that which which with which we measure the blessings of God you know but God is telling one thing to his realize to Jacob in the book of Malachi we can see that in the book of Malachi chapter 1 versus 2 I think it says like this I have loved you she's the Lord but you ask how have you loud us was not easier Jacob's brother declares the Lord yet I have loved Jacob but Esau I have hated have you ever thought of this my dear friends he's up sold his first birthright no shoes were there with essa he some married wives according to his pleasure which doe it grieved his parents but nothing happened to him he did all that was against the Lord nothing happened to him he was given Mount Seir a wonderful place to live they were princess in his generation he was leading a beautiful life but on the other hand we can see Jacob who was struggling and struggling and struggling and struggling and struggling his brother hated his father he has to deceive his father so he was deceived by this father away by his father-in-law at least ten times his father-in-law changes wages his life was full of deception and problems and pain and suffering you know why God is telling Jacob I love you yes how I hate rain a sow's life nothing is happening he is so beautifully leading his life and you say you hate him but to me you say you love me but I have been tortured left right and center he lies were put into 400 years of slavery in Egypt except two of them all the sixth black 3548 men who came out of Egypt along with Caleb and Joshua all of them were dead in the desert and God is telling no no no I love you can you believe this the writer of Hebrews says in chapter 12 verse 6 the God disciplines those who love him my dear friend even after your running wild even after you live a hypocritical life even after you leading a life deceiving many even after you leading a life without any true relationship with the Lord if till you are growing your prosperous you are healthy the God is not disciplining you you have to be afraid you were heading towards hell in my life when everything was okay I was affected with the skin problem called psoriasis it started off like a dandruff in my head then it moved into my years I started getting some silvery patches then to my neck then to my elbows then into my hand then my enter a body Hetal foot by the year 2008 I was completely spread with this sickness like the scales of the fish I used to peel off my skin about three to four dustbins full of skins we gather daily when I clean off the blood will whose psoriasis it aggravated and it ended up in two psoriatic arthritis both my hip my knees and my ankle joints were affected I could not take a step ahead I have to resign my job I lost about 35 kilos of weight my face got mud because of this I almost became like a leper I used to cry day and night with pain you know in the book of Job chapter 33 there is a worse which I just want to read it for you book of Job chapter 33 even today morning I was just reading that with my father-in-law and we were meditating on that here it says like this was 14 for God does speak now one way now another though no one perceives it in a dream in a wishing of the night when deep sleep falls on people as their slumber in bed he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings to turn them from wrongdoing and keep them from pride to preserve them from the pit their lies from perishing by the sword or someone may be chastened on a bed of pain with constant distress in their bones so that that body finds food repulsive I could not eat food the skin that peels off his all protein I started losing protein I lost about thirty three kilos of weight from 83 kilos I all of a sudden became 48 very thin very weak with all my bones painting 24/7 I could not even turn to take x-rays to conduct any tests the doctors used to struggle minutes and asked to find a nerve in my hand to insert the IV needle so that they can feed me that's what it says here for someone maybe chaste and on a bed of pain with constant distress in their bones so that the body finds food repulsive was 20 I'm reading and the soul loads the choices meal the flesh waste away to nothing and their bones once hidden now stick out they draw near to the pit and the life to the messengers of death my life was like that I lost my job I lost everything I lost everything I was admitted into a hospital called Ernakulam Medical Center which is in question Carla I came to attend my in-laws wedding but I could not I was better than they asked me that both your hip joints both your knee joints and both your ankle joints was all gonna nor we it's not a rheumatoid arthritis so that we can treat you with steroids no this is psoriatic arthritis we cannot give you steroids row that will aggravate so they said only possibility is those six operations six replacements of joints all these things will be refinished with hardened plastic it'll take six months for six surgery after that 18 months of physiotherapy you will walk like a robot I just said god I cannot bear this pain it's not one day two day two thousand eight nine and ten I was three years I was suffering severely because of this then on 24th June 2010 I decided to commit suicide even before the several atoms I have made I say right to you job 42 to his says I know that I can you can do everything and none of your purposes can be throttled several plans I made to commit myself suicide myself but nothing worked up on 24th I wanted to just kill myself by snapping my nose it was a Sunday my wife and children they went to the church all of a sudden from the mid of the assembly they called me she said I'm coming back to the hospital I could not be there oh I started you know feeling sad or if she comes I cannot die I told her please don't come finish off the worship and then come she said no I'm not coming sorry I'm not being there sorry I'm coming back and I told her I just want to change the topic that we are talking I asked her what were they preaching today she said it was from Sam 118 you please read it by the time I come back I was praying into God God I know if I commit suicide I might end up in hell and I was always asking God God can you show me a passage from the scripture which can strengthen me but even after committing suicide I can still go to heaven I thought that's the answer that God is giving me through my wife from Sam 118 I kept the phone I opened up the scriptures and I turned unto Sam 118 you know to my surprise my eyes were fixed on was 17 not on was one was 17 of Sam 118 who reads like this let me read it for you I will not die I will not die but live and will proclaim what the Lord has done on in 19 it says the Lord has chasing me severely but he has not given me over to death he has chasing me severely but he has not given me over to death I shall not die but live and declare the works I started crying and telling Lord thank you for giving me this promise that I'm not going to die I'm going to live to declare they works what is their Lord for me to declare then the Lord told me you know I'm going to heal you without any surgery no knife will be kept in your body and I'll make your body as a renewed one I'll make your skin out of a child but one thing I didn't like in you he said I asked Lord tell me what is that he spoke to me from two scriptures both these scriptures talk about the same thing let me read it out for you the first one James the book of James we just right after the book of Hebrews that is James chapter 4 verse 6 it says like this but he gives us more grace that is why scripture says God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble in 1 Peter chapter 5 verse 6 it says humble yourself therefore under God's mighty hand that he might lift you up in due time and right before that it says God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble he told me we know I know you are a hypocrite on top of that you became very proud because of your beauty because of your richness because of your knowledge because of your intelligence because of all your prosperity it is not you gay who gate it is not you who gain any of this it is me who are giving you everything but on top of that instead of humbling you you became proud I have to oppose you I don't want you to go to hell so I have to chasten you in this bed I have to discipline you on that day I lifted up my hands and cried unto the Lord and surrendered my life unto Him and I confess my sin in His mercy he clenched me he forgave all my sins he reinstated me as his child he poured upon His Holy Spirit upon me as he has promised me no knife is it to be kept in my body without that he delivered me out of the hospital on the 2nd of July he reinstated my health he reinstated my wealth he reinstated the life that I have lost he reinstated the relationship with his true Living God from there on my life started to grow spiritually in 2012 had an opportunity to visit Bihar when I went to Bihar for a mission trip to see the work what God is doing there I came to see a lot of people believers who are struggling with sin like how I used to be without knowing what is sin that's when God spoke to me we know why can't you disciple these people why can't you teach them the Word of God I told him god I don't know even one word of Hindi he told me I'll put the words in your mouth he will be my spokesperson I will use you for my glory then I had an opportunity to meet our dear brother dr. ABP Matthew who is heading India mission a mission organization based in Bihar I shared with him this is what the God spoke to me he said brother we have been praying for such a person for years now immediately I was moved and I started working there along with my job I used to come there for a year I started at keeping people there through the Word of God by conducting a two-week discipleship training then the God put into my heart it's not enough what you're doing so he enabled me to give up my job and take up this as my full-time duty not as a profession as a duty since 2013 God is using me in the mission fields of Bihar Chhattisgarh Madhya Pradesh Rajasthan and other Pradesh an India mission the organization and dr. ABP Matthew and all my fellow coworkers that had given me the helping hand God is using me to teach the Word of God to these people in a two-week discipleship training several people are repenting and being torn apart torn apart by the Word of God which is sharper than any double-edged sword the word is shaping them the word is cleansing them the word is renewing their relationship with the Lord as we read in mark three thirteen and fourteen he chose the twelve so that they can be with him and if they are B if they are with him he will send them to preach and have authority over demons and heal sicknesses that's how God is using me enabling me to be with him and he's sending me to preach the Word of God and he's helping me to minister and to his people and to the Gentiles my dear friends I just want to give you this opportunity to join with me in prayer if any of you are struggling with any of these passions the worldly passions be it youth youthful passions be it love of money be it whatever it is let me tell you one more thing for the last six years I am NOT taking any financial support from the mission organization with whom we are working I am not working for them I am working for the Lord he is providing me all that is needed we are blessed with two wonderful boys as I said the elder one has completed his degree in physics his bachelor's in physics from one of the top most colleges in India since defense the younger one has finished grade 12 it's all because of God's mercy he's providing us all our needs see this is another opportunity of ki keeping his promise which he told me on 24th June 2010 you shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord that's why I am talking to you through this webcast please submit yourself into the Lord turn unto Him and accept your failure you cannot hide anything from him everything is open and naked in front of him confess it unto him tell him Lord I'm struggling with this there are so many sins which has entangled me kindly deliver me I'm just going to pray for you join with me in phrase father we thank you for the wonderful time that you're giving us thank you for this great opportunity to minister to your people a lot for your glory for the you are a God who can do everything and none of your purposes can be throttled father thank you for saving me and your family thank you for using me for your glory I just want to pray unto you like me is there any families who are hearing me any persons you are hearing me a lord was struggling with any addictions hypocricy pretending for the youthful passions worldly passions love of money lust father give them grace forgive them alone all this sin and a lord fill them with your spirit as you said I'll pour out my spirit in you and I'll make you to walk according to my statues and may decrease make them a Lord obedient children of God give them grace so that when their sins are forgiven they receive more grace so that they do not sin any more but rather obey you wholeheartedly give them grace to believe and continue to believe in you father we pray for all these opportunities that you are providing us through your people bless them and use all of them for your glory in Jesus name I pray thank you my dear friends for giving your time to hearing me may God bless you and use you also in the days to come amen god bless you thank you

Channel: Your Living Manna

Views: 89,263

Keywords: Christian, Sermon, Testimony, Pentecostal, Kerala, India, Israel, Jesus, Holy, Spirit, Spiritual, yourlivingmanna, livingmanna, Religion, Christ, Worship, Christianity, Inspirational, Lord, Ministry, Word, Yeshu, മലയാളം, ക്രിസ്തീയ, പാട്ട്, devotional, hymns, IPC, keralam, Malayalam, Songs, Gospel, Music, Devotional, Song, (Religion), (Deity), Bible, ആരാധനാ, പരിശുദ്ധാത്മാവു, ദൈവം, സുവിശേഷം, യേശു, കൃപ, വചനം, christian, faith, helpful, joy, life, love, peace, pray, prayer, praying, scripture

Id: BjHxa2rD7Cw

Length: 69min 3sec (4143 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 05 2019