[Vinesauce] Vinny - Cosmi Software: 300 Arcade Classics (part 1)

tonight is trash I have a song for you I don't even remember who made this 300 arcade games mostly bootlegs garbage [Music] oh dear God me [Music] yeah okay all right okay that that's enough of that mm-hmm well that's a hell of a start I wonder if Danny DeVito has any feelings about becoming the official spokesman of trash due to his always sunny appearances here's an accomplished director accomplished actor auteur all-around interesting guy and we know him best as the trash man I don't remember who made that song but okay I guess here's a little bit of an applause but this is a Cosme 300 arcade games this is a collection made by Captain technicality and let me read most of these games from what I understand are just absolute garbage really really terrible clones of arcade games and worse it claims to be arcade games but we're talking like you know before flash games were a thing the worst games you could find just bad clones and awful [ __ ] it says here when I was young and I attended the YMCA we had several games on the computer which I would later discover were all from this collection of games I had never heard of any of the any of these games before and I had never heard them since discussed one day I decided to go search for two of these games which stood out strongly in my mind Peter pineapple and Smiley's adventure - my initial search has brought me no closer to finding the games and I began to doubt their existence so could you imagine that it was just delirium the games didn't actually exist as well as my own grasp on reality however my sanity was saved months later when another more in-depth search pulled up a let's play of Smiley's adventure there in the comments someone mentioned a CD called Cosme 300 classic arcade games I found an ISO of the game and Dovan to find that what I had played was only the tip of the trash Berg enjoy Thank You captain technicality that sounds like good lore I really appreciate your attempt at lore this is being this is going through Oracle Virtual Machine and it's a [ __ ] mess you actually have to install each of these games separately so I have a list we're not doing all 300 but captain technicality was kind enough to vet some of the games for me and well 3d ball of defiance is first this stream could go kind of shitty because some of these games don't want to work properly so you know let's hope for the best okay [Music] so you good intro blood medium off Maxwell I'm going to go for blood max of course so we get some nice Mideast already the collection is justified [Music] this sounds like Chrono Trigger music times 10 obviously [Music] what's this you are about to play 3d ball of defiance the exciting puzzle action game puzzle action game the shareware Edition contains three levels if you enjoy it register it and receive the full version of God it wants to give me more cutscenes animation and story huh well now I can start the game do you wish to lose to see the intro yes please give that resolution get it real small you know you don't get any bigger than that here we go the year is 895 ad for many years the kingdom of highs Berg was under the rule of the Dark Lord look at that character face look at that face the people were tired and weary of this life eventually a small group of far Marcil revolt angered at this the Dark Lord summoned the ball of defiance destroy his opposition sounds scary wipe out all who dare to fight back and be rewarded well some intro a wait-wait still going what are the UFO noises Act one presents revoked courts have been taken over by a small group of peasants because of this the road to heizaburo have been cut off destroy all the forts and peasants there should only be minimal resistance what you mean to tell you tell me if I give my credit card info I get more of these cut scenes with a whole four frames of animation are we really this is what the game is wait so I'm the Dark Lord this is this is the ball of death sorry the 3d ball of defiance which means I'm killing peasants and I am the Dark Lord I give it I give it that much borderline experimental oh sorry you didn't miss much so you get two it was too zoomed in I apologize but here's here's what you missed you missed me doing this okay I get to control the ball of death defiance sorry defiance kind of I like mine better the ball of death is much better and that's it welcome to the game and then the ball explodes and so do I could that's the smallest font I've ever seen kit can we why are we doing such small font I don't think if you had less pixels to work with they wouldn't look like letters that's the smallest font you can get no I'm good I don't I don't want to register your game I'm really really I'm good on that so this is um as we all you know this is an arcade classic you might have seen this in the arcade I don't know the arcade classic ball of defiance which of course we eyes [Music] so wait spikes destroy the ball of defiance the the massive iron spiked ball of defiance hmm wrist resummon wrist man ball that's cool cool game pretty sure some of those sound effects from quake like the the meet gibbs sound effect right that's a quake thing oh and thus the ball was enslaved forever mother [Music] well I'm already having so much fun so I have to install games which means I'm going to give you a little bit of graphics look at that the quality of the stream I can I can give you graphics in between the games so the next one on the trash list is abomination bugs so I have to install these to my virtual machine here and then they show up in the trash bin and then I I play them abomination bugs now where do I even find that if I installed it click okay to install I installed and now it's not there hmm all right well this is just fantastic I love installing games that do not appear anywhere so it's going to be like a search you have to search for the games all right - and if only there was an easier search function let's see search I want to search for everything all files and bugs search there we go I found it so we're going to have to do that Oh so already we've got realistic depictions of frogs actually those are just pictures of frogs with some shitty Photoshop work all Pachelbel's Canon [Applause] great care was taken when it came to creating this game you can see nobody has a high score nobody has played this game not even the [ __ ] QA testers Pachelbel's Canon is the soundtrack so yeah I guess we'll do Maus abomination bugs get ready get ready for level 1 this is almost impossible to control I'm not even sure I'm playing the game guys I do not have control over this cannon so it's based on mushroom game what was mushroom game called centipede it's just a just a shitty centipede yeah it's really really really almost impossible to play this with a mouse to the point where I'm not even sure I'm actually in control of the thing it would have been better had I not found the game maybe maybe next time I could just not find the game I'll [ __ ] a real spider again wow there's that explosion that green screen explosion that was used in everything from 1994 forward alright well oh there's the search dog I don't know if anyone remember a search dog but search dog was what's up back in the day ant run Pro ant run sorry aunt Pro run it's described as ant run Pro doesn't doesn't matter really let's see ant so I'm just going to keep using the search function and I have to set it up separately so I installed the game so that I can install it not even J ping mate if only there were an easy way to do this right so again I have to apologize for the delay in between games I understand why they're somebody shareware versions could you imagine purchasing the CD of 300 arcade classics and then you find out that more than half of the games are [ __ ] shareware and you have to buy them so let's click play and okay what was that can you repeat that ants have four distinct growing stages the egg larva pupa and the adults this development cycle is called complete metamorphosis I hate everything okay the ant Kong okay okay where's the exit does anyone see an exit does anyone see an exit so this is Bioshock obviously Bioshock ripped off of Aunt run pro huh oh you just need the proper score I love these sound effects Wow every level every letter is another sound effect what is this who the [ __ ] are these people CEO the CEO has the high score come on aunt aunt fat hello aunt fat aunt fat we learned a little bit at least right I mean that's what really matters most is that we learned we have you know we have the proper information in case you ever need aunt fax and sorry aunt fat because if you need them I got every informations I can furnish you with every informations you need about ants according to this game here we're going to do an actual successful ant run I think I hope that's about as good as I can get it let's go fast oh yeah oh [ __ ] oh god I went too fast [Music] whoops I totally i beaned that one I don't feel alive a good game [Music] so far ant game has had best music oh oh that's what happens you gotta order the software [ __ ] you I'm ready to quit [Music] okay just fax your payment over to ant software calm so I'm now getting credits even though I click the quit game and they're like joke credits to ant transportation vine sauce why you not crop it doesn't [ __ ] matter every game is going to have a different resolution I'm going to have to crop every game separately I'm just going to be lazy and I'm going to say you know what it's not worth it back country killers is next on this list we're going to install that right now the point of this game is to shoot as many varmints as possible what was the name of the the great classic video what was it shooting varmints you exploding varmints just so happens I have a little something here for you yep I come prepared so this is backcountry killers and well there's Bart you've got shotgun kotas day varmint killing isn't a sport it's a way of life because I devour mitts of course Billy Ray's not in the game but nothing gives me that warm fuzzy feeling better than seeing a crispy charred critter [ __ ] Vernon nothing quite as beautiful as the fluorescent glow of an electrocuted rat on a warm summer night I'd like to offer my condolences to anyone in the audience with a pet rat so anyway Bart location rat infestation have a good time opping up a couple of rat infested barns the rats here are fat and slow making this a good location to practice your shop and then of course you have chipmunk fun it's fun the chipmunks are small and fast so this is a good location for those quick trigger folks this is exploding varmints the [ __ ] game dear God and it's absolutely got off ooh you sound of I don't how you reload I gotta click the side of the [ __ ] thing - oh this is oh my god guys listen to the sound effects when I explode a varmint it makes it makes like a blood noise it's like a big juicy like give festival it's also really yep oh god that's that's disturbing and it's so delayed too because the game of course was programmed in an afternoon by a drunk I guess I can just know where's this one going how does the right hide behind that little piece so perfectly huh nice ok I think I've had enough exploding varmints nope nope nope nope we're good we're good um bad toys 3d that's the next one on the list bad toys 3d factory toys have been bought by the company Delta military systems that's all you need to know toys were bought by a military organization [ __ ] everything it's going to be great bad toys 3d cannot find wing I have to install it I'm just just ruining this virtual machine right now I don't even give a [ __ ] [Music] here's another game with an excellent resolution oh my god it's like a wolfenstein clone i say wolfenstein clone not doom clone because it just looks awful you were running very low on this space well really don't mind me don't mind me let's just let's just take care of that oh my god am i playing this so one of the things in the descriptor was try playing this with the mouse oh my god and you have to use the arrow keys oh this is impossible to play Oh No you in order to move forward you have to move the mouse forward 311 megabytes of free space remaining huh I'm good I'm probably going to have to start deleting some old things like jar jar's journey it this is okay I'm gonna just say this I've been doing trash streams a long time my friends this is the worst controlling game I've ever played by far it's someone said it's just like the original movie Wolfenstein you move forward with the mouse you could play that this just you get [ __ ] you get stopped and you get [ __ ] and you cannot play and you cannot kill the smiley faces appropriately it's so so unresponsive I love it okay well that's enough of that oh register for all how much $18 for all 25 levels the new weapon more sounds and more enemies but sounds fantastic so [ __ ] up okay so ninja nanny you need to be deleted I'll see you later freaks game needs to be deleted or installing good games now all these these awful games need to go right now I could use a tums I feel like it's about to become Tom's festival there's there's two gigs allocated but there's there's like I think most of its just going to Windows let's see smart Patrol probably should delete that okay I can install the rest of this garbage still so many left I might have to skip some of these two because there's just too many I what the best part take a look at this window so this is this is how you you scroll through right and you install the games it tells you about them look out it's called best Windows arcade games best Windows arcade games okay what's next next is balls invasion oh wait where even is balls invasion now here it is balls invasion all right tonight stream is balls invasion launch balls invasion please here it is closed balls balls balls balls balls pose [ __ ] it space invaders boy fire shift [Music] sticky keys is back in a virtual machine [Music] [Music] oh my god oh my god [Music] where's the option to turn the [ __ ] off get rid of it don't eat it what is this cool mini though I feel like this MIDI is too good for the game balls 3d you say [Music] what a human voice is that a robot extra sheet [Music] popping those put policies sure game okay I'm typing oh cool hip-hop all 3d now we're not doing that oh I guess it did it registered my inputs balls 3d the name was better than the game by far absolutely absolutely wanted to present better battle pets classic arcade game battle pets from 1999 here we go I don't know if you're ready for this so what the hell is going on here what am I looking at exactly [Music] oh my god it's [ __ ] Pokemon you're [ __ ] god why is this happening I don't know what to do it wants me to switch to 16-bit color mode alright fine we'll do that oh god stop properties display settings I'm on that hang on it doesn't matter I change it to 32 I was on 16 I changes there it doesn't matter cuz that doesn't even nothing matters oh god this is a psychedelic experience now just go with it just go with it trust me it's going to be great first battle what's the name of it Beatle lady beetle classic Pokemon I mean non Pokemon Pokemon don't know which mouse cursor is really mine I'm at the point where I don't even know what's happening holy [ __ ] coconut broke him on someone just said why are there five screens I wish I knew I wish I knew I can catch it let me catch got a catch them all I guess but I don't know which mouse cursor is mine I think I caught it I did it I got lady beetle oh [ __ ] oh no another battle here I know how to get out of this battle alt f4 and ooh I love the variety streams that I do here man am I having a good time Oh battle pets boa bite 3d is next we're still on the [ __ ] beasts oh dear God strap in strap in kids or in for a long night this application has not been to design for this operating system all right so we're going to run this in win95 compatibility mode good enough that works I like here there's an option to turn off animated character oh [ __ ] no wait no I'll bring it bring it back oh no I think I just I feel really bad about that I just dismissed my best friend the only one that was helping me with search dog and now now I don't even have a search dog can we get the search dog back no please I'm sorry search dog I didn't mean to do that to you you're you're fine you can stay by a book online all all my sweet summer child okay boa or bite Street [ __ ] you [ __ ] when those 95 activated I'm sorry what [Music] I real this night stream is making me feel like like I was intravenously injected with wool who is doing the vocals please me why are you doing me why software this was designed by waluigi for Apple go go go okay so it's snake in 3d right I get it [Music] you have to use the arrow keys to move around the 3d space not the worst thing I play tonight [Music] three it's so pretty goddamn bad make no mistake stop bathing me Easter hot be made come on [ __ ] RP and Sean Mullan you both in one which in and of itself is three characters well I'm not saying Peter Molyneux and Sean Murray are characters you know invented characters maybe they are next on the list is bunk so voice crack now I'm going to need that tums till I told you tonight's gonna be a hummus festival dear God I'm already I'm already feeling the effects of these games am I on my weak stomach bonk heads is next so we're going to find out what gnaw beds is all about I mean bonk bonk heads right oh go find it first because nothing will be easy in this collection bonk heads demo other demo of course 1899 you buy this game I can imagine you buy this game wait is that mr. dink holy [ __ ] it's a blue mr. dink this mr. dink is evil this is mr. dink actually his name is stock so would it be an appropriate time to say begone stock yeah I could imagine you spending $60 on this game and then you get it Wow and it's just demos and [ __ ] trials unbelievable here in surface Ville you will find the first tests trying to infiltrate the lower underworld this is good lore it's your job to clear out a bunch of pesky bull dogs remember it the animals from below then go and kick them off the platform Pete is going to have a word with these developers waluigi games wow original game concept i've never seen a game concept like this ever at least not one starring Shrek with Adobe Photoshop lens flare what was it I candy was the name of the plug-in okay dog versus shrek dog wins it's really just a complete ripoff wonderful oh man it is that the Ninja Turtles rat also someone in chat helpfully pointed out that the song was bootleg Billie Jean so far all these quote-unquote arcade classics have been really really awful ripoffs of better games huh Oh only 2495 what's that you want to buy all the games on this collection that'll be about three thousand four hundred ninety-eight dollars please brutal space is next brutal space we're not even [ __ ] past the bees brutal space this is the dead space prequel brutal space 99 I should say I can't read this well what I don't understand what am I supposed to read first whoa what the [ __ ] hot mess is this holy [ __ ] I've seen more concise Chinese instruction manuals that I can't read and yet somehow I can still decipher them I don't know what the [ __ ] this is hardware give a copy to your friends click in play up ok loud noises christ almighty ok we're back here again ok I'm ready I'm ready to play how do we play what how do I begin I can't play the game is the answer you press space it takes you here you press space again you go back to the main menu I'm going to have to email cliff cliff I mean granted the game is almost twenty years old but I'm sure I could email cliff she'll get back to me right like cliff how do i how do i play your game [Applause] okay so spacebar next screen right every button is being pressed but oh I did it okay What did he say oh [ __ ] I can't press anything [Music] write down your score I can make up my own score oh I know I just break it down you have to write down your own score this is amazing so the background is not even moving so any illusion that this could be a side-scrolling shooting game dawn also that is a [ __ ] brutal death sound oh my god this gut-wrenching for a game that's like cartoony and anime welcome animation yeah and he says oh [ __ ] he says oh [ __ ] Wow Wow buggy above the law it sounds terrible buggy above the law get ready for it I don't know if you're ready for it are you ready for buggy I'm sorry can I hear that MIDI again holy [ __ ] it's it's it's nirvana [Music] [Applause] [Music] that's why I feel you I feel you right now Kurt I'm not the only one I'm dying I am I'm [ __ ] dying [Music] I know this song - Daft Punk oh it's so bad welcome to Philadelphia by the way I was just there last week can confirm shady-looking fellows and hoods we're walking around everywhere please do not show that message Thanks what a professional collection of games I guess you just don't go in those houses I'm sorry what I'm dying squirtle squirt Walker and another Nirvana song [Music] gentle Cobain I say that with a high amount of respect and love for Nirvana music this dude really likes in utero [Music] I'm in this for the midis now and what's this oh come on Oh Pookie and Fred again I'm sorry but I can't I can't I can't listen for that anymore so I I don't understand how I died last time good just go through a house good collection of game excellent collection of games very professional quality not no buttons do anything and you Jack the car [Music] [ __ ] Inspector Gadget Brown bricks [Music] yeah that's the only thing that got checked that was a whole level no I know we're good we're really we're fine we don't need to listen to that again this is astounding that this was included in a retail game now you'd find something like this on the Wii U eShop [Music] Kenny Ohio high ends confirm that this is what their state looks like looks like that Brown train is dropping minecraft sorry like I can pretend the Sun is gone and like this is done I don't think I can keep going it says here we need to see how it's being promoted fun and challenging game you take place yeah I wonder like how [ __ ] tongue-in-cheek this was a silent stick-figure sort who is running from the Mafia you joined them in North Philadelphia to start your journey as you go along the levels will get much harder there are no continues the game is Gerren gauranteed to stay on your hard drive for a long time with three different endings it's going to be a while - you're finished while - you're finished I like the clown in the top of the collection that is an amazing thing part of me wants to continue going just just to hear more Middies but I really really don't think I want to so bummer is next CC the description for this one and bummer is five levels you need to defeat household appliances gone awry you'll get to blow up toasters televisions and other harmful appliances smiley face I'm ready I'm ready to install bummer do I install this okay you install it and then you install it I love when that happens there this has happened a number of times restart windows how about [ __ ] you how about [ __ ] you bummer its installer is now frozen you'll never believe where it installed to I'm going to show you after after we have our ears ripped out level 1 destroy all the televisions to win one shot we'll take each one game oh man hey I'm actually filled with rage right now I actually am angry that this game exists destroy all the commute computers to win one shot we'll take each one out right whatever game [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] game sorry so it put it in the same folder as the default windows games like that's worthy of being up there with you know minesweeper and pinball and parts and of course solitaire wherever that is you got spider solitaire - geez and then bummer good that is some horseshit that is some [ __ ] garbage the Installer is still stuck by the way I should point out that it's just hanging it's just there we're going to have an installer up the entire time Wow all right sorry about that I'm good I'm good I'm good just a little angry finally we make it out of the bees and on to the Seas with captain courageous captain courageous there are 10 levels as captain courageous you must neutralize monsters in settings like beaches castles caves and clouds I can feel the person who typed these descriptions just giving up can we go back to nirvana midis enter volume for setup I guess 10 volume please captain courageous artificial intelligence fireworks soundtrack set design rowing consultant stunt person yeah put all your credits right in the beginning yeah I'm okay still a little angry after bummer okay please please end this does anyone want to do this stream for me anyone in the chat volunteer can you just take over please I'm about to go stick a needle in my eye captain courageous no no no it's the obvious thing to say is I'm collecting Pepsi why am i collecting Pepsi that's my attack by the way that's the captain courageous attack amazing to be watching a speedrun of Metroid Prime right now nope nope is he playing captain courageous busy wanting my money back for a game I didn't even buy amazing it ended Metroid 1 oh thank god thank you for that information I'm glad they're on Symphony of the Night now could be watching the symphony of the night run 5 elves burning up and captain courageous that's the exit huh alright good at least at least like I said what was that noise what was that horrendous noise ok God Christ give me strength please looks like we're reset actual machine because captain courageous broke it raw please soft soap please whoever whoever is listening any entity out there let me get through this stream alive these are really bad I know it's almost hyperbole at this point when I do my Sunday streams to say what I'm playing is bad but no no this is legit just a waste yet great now I have to find I have to find this thing I have to look for the thing give me here guys find them arcade games it wants to reinstall them even though they've been installed it that's just strange you know what yeah [ __ ] it reinstall it I don't even care yeah do it so it's it's yeah all right good we've got it we've got it we've got it next game send ryx quest it says just read the Installer I can't wait for this okay send request an excellent role-playing game in Centrex quest serpent head you will be cast in the role of a knight who has decided to infiltrate Castle serpent head the game has good graphics music an interesting dialogue oh it says and by the way yes aan interesting dialogue one whole interesting dialogue hmm all right send Rick all right I'm going to be judging this game based on my expectations based on you know of course what I was just told good graphics music one dialogue what it should say is this game contains graphics and music and words go [ __ ] yourself why does it want to install again now get the [ __ ] out of here sounds like music kinda it's musical so this is a little musical do you don't need the wooden sign your action is unnecessary feels like anything I've done tonight you slowly pull open the heavy castle door okay no need to move the painting all the stuff in here let's do no can't do all right never mind do these graphics look it look at these good graphics can't do anything in there I do Oh do the thing nope don't can't do thing okay all right whatever I don't know I have no sense of spatial awareness like there's a lot of really good games like this shadowgate comes to mind you know I played a number of games that are quite similar but I can't do that's the problem I've been trying to do this whole time and I can't do all of my actions is unnecessary and I I'm I'm outside now you don't need the bucket how do you know I don't need the bucket what if I need to bucket later the game is like now you don't you don't need that mate just don't worry about it just do do or do not all right listen we could go on and on we could play Centrex quest for ages but you got the gist the jizz of it all right next is chicken chopper which is listed under kids games that should be noted each tries to shoot down the devices that shoot him without getting hit you complete it oh my god can we look at the last line of the sentence the main plus here is the fact that you can play the game with here drill stick I'll bet you can so this is a game for kids keep that in mind of a feeling it's going to be anything but one of those installed and install again so we've got a double install coming up and the Installer is frozen so we're already having a good time install 32 right runtime error yeah rod here we go so already there's some abuse you idiot how could you forget to collect the chicken eggs gosh why do I have such a lazy son yeah how could you shut up honey now what are we going to do about this so they're fighting why don't we make him read all of the remaining chickens in the coop shut up on oh wait a sec that's not a bad I dice functional family do it or else ah shut up honey that's three times don't try to act tough are you still here this is this game is for kids [Music] are you kidding me [ __ ] am i eating them in the tournament instantly oh my god video games for a very bad idea today please no more please I can't I can't do this anymore Wow someone in ChaCha said whoever it was from destiny stream who recommended vine sauce I thank you I'd like to apologize it's blood it looked like [ __ ] to me Brown [ __ ] not if not brown blood next is Christmas maze I don't think I don't think I want to continue with the playing this oh there's so many we might have to do a part two of this that's right this could end up turning into a part two stream depending on how much time we have tonight [ __ ] christ there are so many garbage games in this collection including one called doom 95 I can't wait for that one we're getting to that one tonight definitely I got to find out I got to find out I just need to know Christmas Mays how could this be worse than what I just played and yet again yet again the setup is frozen frozen for all time eat a dick you [ __ ] prick good night sleep tight I'm try to run this in compatibility mode nope it's just frozen we I think we need to do a reset alright so Oh power off the machine please the VM has crashed that is what's up that is a good game that has the OP the ability to crash my virtual machine mental so oh it's hanging a little bit I can't press the start button now I can now I can all right let's see maybe there is I don't know virus exe Christmas virus I should also point out that um okay now it works we watched a Big Trouble in Little China yesterday I was feeling really not great last night and so we did like a little movie night thing and Big Trouble in Little China is a John Carpenter movie just so happen to randomly be I just thought of it out of nowhere and it just so happened to be the movies 31st anniversary July 1st 1986 is when it came out i streamed it was like what the [ __ ] but I did actually I fought I fell asleep during the last 20 minutes but I watched the rest of it today I've seen it when I was young watching it again [ __ ] awesome movie if you've not seen Big Trouble in Little China it's insane also I found out that the Thunder God or the Thunder dude of God was the basis of riding in mortal combat or rain ever yes sir try hitting two buttons at once okay so - err please don't hit two keys at the same time [Music] Oh God [Music] yep these walls don't matter please don't hit two keys at the same time we'll [ __ ] you go right through the wall [ __ ] you game I'm cheating and I don't care where's done sir yeah valve anti-cheat is on its way for me okay let's do the quickest maze of all time [Applause] [Music] where's Spencer that's actually Santa's voice that's the real Santa the real Santa only did shitty gigs like this [Music] now nope nope no next is cool run oh boy oh my god cool run the description of cool run is very good yeah I'll just say that an exciting jump and run game for windows 98 95 your goal in this game is to reach the end of the level there are six levels of hopping and jumping through and on dangerous birds and people who keep you from reaching your goal where I don't even know where I just extracted it to but it's alright cool let's see oh here you go cool start it's a test version no this MIDI makes no sense I'm afraid to press the button it looks like Kramer from Seinfeld is exploding in the fetal position hey Jerry Oh Oh No oh my god it's Sonic oh my god yes it's real sonic Sean Sonic why am i jump I'm killing these poor people these poor real people are you kidding me here it is everyone my sonic game for the years I am done after this I don't need to play a real Sonic game because I've already played a real Sonic game this is real Sonic [Music] oh my god it controls like such horseshit please don't do that [Music] it really does control so very poorly but you know it's not that's not why I'm trying to go right [Music] I'm trying to go right and it's going left it's [ __ ] the spin boost is broken and now the bird is preventing me from progressing oh this is [ __ ] unbelievable right okay if the controls are reversed if you want to go left you have to go right when you do the spin boost sorry I let go and then fold left foot oh my god stuff oh boy am i dead oh come on this isn't worth it I'm sorry this isn't worth that I have to stop this nonsense now you quit the game okay okay yes I quit the game [Music] thanks CAD thanks for the cool game CAD you quit the game deficit I can't even look at the game names without laughing at this point a death assault it's not even a funny game name using your jet packs and weapons left rather conveniently for you you must defeat hordes of enemies all that sounds great how the quality of the games they sound [ __ ] fantastic once again the Installer is hanging it totally totally [ __ ] up so I'm going to have to actually restart the VM again [Music] I'm doing this as I can death assaults here we go so it's spelled death assault not even kidding a SS you you know what I need to prove this how the [ __ ] do you misspelled the name of your game in the Installer what level of insane incompetence do you have to have to do something that that's stupid oh wait a minute maybe that's just the name of the game I think that's just what it called I [ __ ] give up then all right I got egg on my face egg is on my face I'm the [ __ ] [Music] [Applause] oh no I know this song [Music] your question is to save the people from the anime you what is the worst title screen I've ever seen and listened to in my own life [Music] [Applause] [Music] stuff Ramin stuff [Music] [Applause] [Music] how was that a Megaman villain that killed me that is some appropriate shred guitar yep that was the Megaman villain that's another Megaman build a snowman dear God they sold this install I need to reiterate that this was sold in a store as best arcade game collection [Music] terrible terrible [ __ ] controls but I don't think I even need to say that sure one more time [Music] nice [ __ ] wait a minute is this green day oh come on no I don't want to learn more about click and play your installers suck your games suck the [ __ ] like steel assets from other games debris 32 with a note from captain technicality saying best game in the collection that intrigues me debris 32 as if an arcade game needs a story it was the greatest crisis to befall the Alliance of Confederated worlds near the heart of Confederation territory lay a massive binary black hole and the Halcon prime system the story is massive there's like eight paragraphs of story about some doctor and gravity engines and neutrino reaction cores gravitational distortion a black hole with enormous mass shattered the very fabric of space with its birth tachyon relays someone was watching a lot of Star Trek shockwaves the street sweeper squadron swear to God that's the name of the squadron okay I need to find out what this is debris 32 it sounds absolutely you know I'm going to use the word delightful because of sterile and I like the taste okay setup has been finished I can hardly wait I can hardly wait to get my hands on debris 32 here it is and immediately we have fart step that sounds disgusting [Music] [Applause] right $20 [Music] are you kidding me it's [ __ ] asteroid what was all that story [ __ ] about why do we need all the story why do we need seven paragraphs of war I like how the editor's note was like as if an arcade game needs a story [Music] absolutely mind-blowing but I just explode I don't know what's happening I mean yeah there's the classic asteroid functionality did this teleport you got a shield spine spine ish I guess he wasn't kidding when he said this was one of the best games in the collection and actually plays it's similar to asteroids as you'd expect an asteroid game to play [Music] it's just I I really I think I need to prove it's not like they didn't rip off of again look at that another [ __ ] telling you how to buy it eat a dick I think I need to prove that the story is that insane but the lives of countless refugees depend upon the squadron and it is only through their diligent efforts that the Confederation has any hope for surviving until tomorrow still you know yeah one of the better games in the collection they're all a bunch of horseshit but that one was well it was enough of a ripoff it was enough of a competent ripoff that I didn't want to punch myself in the face multiple times while playing it and that is an accomplishment I've never seen the word game spelled like this can someone explain this game is called dirt bike and this is part of the description moto cars riders love this gram moto cores riders love this gram for its riding realism you know what we need to go through all of this because I see other typos dirt bike dirt bike is a motorcycle simulation action game using complex physics it very accurately simulates a dirtbike being being ridden over various terrain you design the bike and control the throttle shifting and steering to race against other players computer-controlled Nike in previous high scores registered users can create tricks what the [ __ ] these [ __ ] people did not give a single [ __ ] when making this collection no one cared no one cared of course ideas loved this gram for it's writing rate Lisa oh my god Wow this is like the lowest level of professionalism you could possibly have won releasing a paid product [ __ ] what is the game name of the game dirt bike dirt search for dirt which is appropriate now I'm not going to register all my [ __ ] christ what am I supposed to be looking at [Music] [Music] oh my god this is the worst thing ever [Music] and sort of what's happening anymore if we Emoto course writers love this Oh it's a resolution mismatch okay that's fine let's see let's try standard camera bike to follow bike is not active let's see helmet cam please player 1 thanks so this is helmet cam it's not really helping a whole lot so when a judge said this is actually what 4d looks like if you can't handle it then you're not fit for the future the other Nikes about dirt bike dirt bike is a commercial quality product yeah quality product quality product tracks unregistered users can only novice an expert okay [Music] no idea what's that no idea novice Mike please don't do my heart [Music] Oh [Music] well I could sit here and get a headache all day but why don't we instead locally instead move on to doom 95 this is the moment that I've been waiting for and I'll speak for yourself but I've been waiting for this one okay so doom 95 is a mixture no it says what more can you say then this is one of the most played games in history enjoy all right brace yourselves here we go doom 95 um new game please okay so this is the resolution that we're working with [Music] excellent somehow even doom was [ __ ] up amazing I've seen doom run on a calculator better than this and that's not even a joke I've seen doom run on a keyboard led like a [ __ ] mechanical keyboard like number pad [Music] I've seen do run a watch [Music] [Music] Oh got it music sounds discordant - people are saying trying compatibility mode so you know what let's do that properties windows 95 compatibility mode let's see maybe I'm the [ __ ] nope still not working [Music] um setup we have to run setup [Music] setup has been run successfully properties compatibility mode ok let's try again new game while there's a little color now I don't know if the color was there before but we've got color this is probably a result of the [ __ ] virtual machine I'm sure doom 95 runs fine on some computer what if I just stretch this an excellent [Music] here I'm going to make this work nice there we go now this is this is [ __ ] racing [ __ ] I can actually play Duma on what appears to be a game boy it's actually semi playable now perfect [Music] doom guy just looks super depressed like it's like a really depressed gelatin soul I'm sorry doing guy I didn't I didn't mean to hurt your life by playing this penny psychedelic actually [Music] it is done I've completed one level [Music] well I've never streamed all of Doom one but I have streamed doom 64 in its entirety so if you haven't seen me stream doom I streamed recent doom and there you go I've streamed 2016 doom and a extreme doom 64 I've done plenty of shitty doom odds I love I love the series but I haven't played all of it so you never know maybe one day one day I'll return to do them who knows for now however we're not doing any more of [ __ ] doom 95 we're going to just do another shitty game I guess we could do a couple more I don't know how far down the list I am actually I'm like one third of the way through but there's still a couple of amazing games that I have to try out like for example the next one is et's turbo pig bash just based on the name alone how could you go wrong defcon cow I think it's um people are saying they want defcon cow but I think it's just defender again on that defender it's um hey you know what this one's not on the list let's give it a shot I'll deviate from the list this one time because that sounds like a really [ __ ] terrible game name DEF CON cow okay so it's another demo of course press one or two doesn't matter [Music] alien alien music um graze please thank you raise versus grazed what the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] normals fine just just select graze versus graze that tearing each other apart no wonder they're dying they need to do hybrids I don't I don't understand this however I see ET and I see Captain Picard is aboard [Music] thank you left ear am i shooting am i shooting VHS tapes and peep and people oh it's like a [ __ ] puzzle game how I go down I need to figure out how to [ __ ] play this properly but I see like match three yeah it's just now if it's a NZ to go up and down and x2 to shoot men [Music] it's actually not completely terrible I wonder if they paid Gene Roddenberry's estate for use of Captain Picard is aboard probably not right now why would they do that or Steven Spielberg for et they wouldn't they wouldn't do that right was enough to do with Taos have we figured out what this has to do with cows yet also is that Gorbachev it's [ __ ] Gorbachev oh and Scully all this is Scully vote Scully and Mulder but they're turning into grave all right I really thank you and good night because aliens abduct cows yeah I guess so well cow mutilations in particular goes what a [ __ ] joke [ __ ] what was the next game on the list we had one it sounded great et's turbo pig best so we got an advanced cameo of ET without even knowing ET was going to be in there so I mean you got a double ET you're going to go home with that at least if nothing else during tonight's stream you got double ET [Music] okay this is another one that doesn't actually load the setup okay we got to restart the machine 300 arcade games kind of reminds me of action 52 they're advertising all these games like you know with a large number like they do this with plug in place too they say here's 300 games best value eat a dick best value and so you buy it because you're convinced that 300 games is a good value and then you buy it you play it oh what's that oh I have AIDS now mmm that's a shame so yeah I don't recommend this if you see a thing with 300 games or more or even like 50 games you generally want to stay away from that so let's see we're going to try this et Pig turbo Bosch one more time here so it's a very specific installer that [ __ ] up its the click in place [Music] go what was that yes just as I predicted a be fun yet should I stay current with automatic updates you guys think seems like a safe bet right you know just just stay o the music music doesn't loop really very well I'm just going to go get something drink hopefully we get something interesting that happens something interesting going to happen nope right again small font that was so not worth the effort that was absolutely not worth the effort oh that was the games factory that time click and play doesn't work very well either but that was it was a little different there's a little different eat a dick so I'm a little angry earth destruction is next do a couple more and then I have the new tattle-tale update for you but yeah earth destruction you are a squared faced alien shape first of all Wow can we can we just think about that for a second you are a squared faced alien shape that is descriptive with enough ammo to destroy the earth each explosion awards you points however your explosives are very powerful and it is possible for you to create a hole and fall in it fall in it losing the game I mean if these people can't be bothered to write a proper description what the [ __ ] am I doing with my life playing the games I don't I don't know what's worse me or them earth welcome to our F earth destruction are you kidding me hey no stopping it the best part you monitor can give you brain damage what why is that quote sounds familiar but first of all yes brain damage yes that's this whole stream is brain damage but what what the [ __ ] was that from control shoot arrows Tim okay so yeah effort good effort being put into this game here no no I'm not talking about them talk about the song the brain damage quote looks like I'm number two reefer madness look at these names Scott oh that's my Nick spectra site looter lon or I on Jack and Jill mmm forbidden donut mmm invisible Cola this stuff can gives you brain damage that just sounds so familiar the most low effort game and there's been some [ __ ] low effort teams in the collection and yet somehow it doesn't get as bad as this what a [ __ ] bunch of horseshit alright next up is elf bow which may sound like ELF bowling the elves are on strike and Center result resorts to ELF bowling hmm okay I played this one already many people have played ELF bowling so that that of course is on is on the docket but I'm not going to do that one you've seen ELF bowling before I'm sure it's just one of those things that's just born and you know what else bowling is and if you're unaware of it google it it's stupid alright next is fire guy and the description is racing game with original graphics all right well that's good to know because so far there haven't been been a whole there haven't been there haven't been a whole lot of games with original graphics so that's pretty impressive I'm already already on board unfortunately I can't find it and I can't even search for it I searched guy I searched fire let's try again guy found it all right good we did it install fire guy and the Installer is hanging which means the next time I have to go after Chris any key where's the any key oh my god Seinfeld I'm so done with this world original graphics huh yep we got original graphics but we got Seinfeld music Oh carry this officially the second time Seinfeld has come up on tonight's stream Douglas what kind of hell has you wrought upon the world with your video game ok don't Indiana Jones Homer Simpson original graphics so I can't shoot I was told I could shoot I cannot you this about sums up my life [Music] I can choose with the other control okay x-files we got x-file oh my god this collection is so [ __ ] 90s oh it's my job to walk into the light now little fire guy is on his merry way to the afterlife that's it he's stone dead Monty Python joke now you killed him is he pining for the fjords hi how are you okay hello you dick this is [Music] this is one of the worst collections of games I've ever played and I say that almost every week the time I well and truly mean it just pick up dem coins the shooting in this game is really really bad it only works sometimes great a [ __ ] game eat it great [ __ ] game arcade games 300 arcade games biggest and best compilation [ __ ] charlatans snake oil salesman con artists hyperbole let's do let's do three more these next three sound pretty good I'm not going to lie hyper polo for example this is a game where you play polo with a car as your polo mallet I don't even know what the [ __ ] that means so yes we have to play this anyone else like kind of jonesing to watch Indiana Jones now and that's going to require a system reset [Music] all right so where were we right we were right we were about to play a terrible game meaning I do a search for it what was it again poll hyper polo polo install hyper polo quit installer oh you want to quit the install it or no no no you can't [ __ ] quit the installer more quality sound effective hyper polo it's you against the chromers steer the pit slave into the red vaporizer while keeping him away from the blue blue vaporizer beware the heretic the heretic scores opposite I don't know what that means controls are pretty [ __ ] bad too is an excellent excellent noise wow this game amazing sorry a little loud it kind of sounds like me sneezing which if you didn't know my greatest moment at a convention ever was caught on tape thank you Jeff for this footage my man put that sneeze on the internet that's real just so happened someone came up to me with a camera just as I was about to sneeze can't beat it can't beat it yep well at least you put it on the Internet so yeah best moment and yeah I am I am real I'm apparently a real human being I've been told so let's see ok what's the next game the next to sound amazing for example that was hyper polo next is hyper axis one so it sounds like an edgy like space game we're going to find out in just a second and then there's one more after that so and then we'll save the rest for another time we're about halfway through that's exactly the halfway mark about well almost hyper axis has six levels to it I know that doesn't seem like much but it will be a while before you can conquer the third level that's actually the real description in the Installer I practice guy Gon's have invaded this sector use your mouse to aim whatever the structure these down the [ __ ] what is this music crazy guitar solos is like [ __ ] melting guitar solo and of course I have a mouse blazer I don't just mean I'm using the mouse to shoot I'm killing my to shoot lasers I'm harnessing their power my mushy sure one of those sound effects that was a turkey gobbling let's just search you know let's just straight up to the turkey ma'am over all right okay stop now huh huh dear [ __ ] God and the final one tonight is kill ball read the wall of text trust me it's worth it now when you say something like that it's got to be amazing so here we go kill ball kill ball version 1.0 lethal pong arcade style paddle game for one or two players okay I'm assuming in game there's going to be more story more lore so before we do anything have to find that war kill ball sounds like a [ __ ] sport in the Mad Max universe and of course it's using the worst installer on the [ __ ] planet so that's going to require a reset let's hope it's worth it man let's hope it's worth it okay yep finally finally we reach our final game of this collection for the night there are more games after this but kill ball will it be worth it probably not okay install this [ __ ] setup is creating icons and it's freezing it's hanging on setup as creating icons maybe you don't have to create icon setup maybe you can just you know play the game just install it let me play the game kill ball mm okay here it is finally here it is wow look at that that is a good font it's free is Wow okay it's neon it's it's really really [ __ ] colorful what do I do I accept type test if you've not paid alright so resolution changes okay so I'm supposed to read this this is not lore this is like do not steal my game so let's say that's actually kind of funny considering it's just pong this program will be fully functional for the first four days about the time you get when you rent a game at a video store but this is free and after that only the death mode and deathmatch will be unavailable if you to you so if I were you I would do these first nice sentence by making half the game first two modes freeware hopefully more people will see it and by leaving out my favorite ways to play it hopefully enough will bother to register it so I can make a new and better versions as I did with the cubix games also available online and at my website of Omni center.com whatever sells the most I update the most Zr fireworks is now up to version 13 after over 5 years of updates because that's what people have paid for the most because you can register online now at WWDC m.com I've lowered the prices on my games to 995 from 20 hoping that this will mean more will register hopefully the reasoning will prove sound and I can keep the prices low plus all the games on a CD is only $10 extra making programs like this is my only income so please do not try to get around the shareware restrictions or tell anybody even passwords hopefully they are cheap enough now people will stop doing that for those who have never heard of a help file and believe me I've heard from many click help on the top menu bar and then click help or press f1 while running this program it will tell you things like where to put your fingers on which keys what not the ones you would think of how to use this game with a mouse what the different levels do and other such things it is easier to look up than to try to guess these messages go away when you start playing playing and when program starts if registered or if the four days are up I assume by then you will know these things enjoy the game now that it's done I can stop playing it I hope that's encouraging Jared wants to stop playing his own game he's like [ __ ] I hope that's the end of it [ __ ] amazing what an amazing accomplishment and video games $10 this is $10 hopefully people will play my favorite game modes Wow I know what's happening is it's too fast it's tied to the CPU clock speed I'd like to try again I'd like to try a different game please thank you look at all these some deathmatch mode huh paddle size easy pet data size so it's like a very customizable pong Pro paddle size set ball speed I don't know slower times 100 please thank you now the game is actually [ __ ] playable if this is slower times 100 man what was the website again Omni Center it's still no it's [ __ ] that domain is gone the website is for sale skander calm is still up zed l'm oh my god look at this the website is still here so Omni centres got oh my god I can't stop the game so let's let's take a look at some of this this beautiful webpage like straight out of 1999 I don't know I don't even know what the [ __ ] I'm looking at cubics legend 2014 what the [ __ ] this dude has has Drive I have to I have to commend Jarrod for making these games and sticking with them you know what I mean like this is a level of dedication like he does not change in the way the website looks [ __ ] that not changing the way the games look still going 2014 version this dudes been making games for more than 15 years and it's just the same games every year virus-free good [ __ ] well well good for you Jarrod I hope I hope I hope you win an award all the while the clown stares at you well that was interesting so yeah that's part one of what the [ __ ] is the name of the [ __ ] again I don't even know what I called this was Omni was it called Oh cause me bad arcade classics that's part one of 300 arcade games that was some hot garbage there's plenty more including Peter pineapple punch um rats Salim and Deana on flob and noops Odyssey and wet willy skateboarding so that's just a little teaser for what's to come that whoa gonna be careful how I board that yeah there's some there's some good ones here and this one I don't even want to read I want you to just read it on your own take a look at the name of this one how could that be anything less than spectacular how the [ __ ] do you spell spiders with an ex and still remained and still retain your humanity is what I'm wondering so that was excellent and I really thank you captain technicality for this collection and yeah up next is tattletale the update plus a little something called everything is going to be okay which I think I'm going to do first because it seems like a kind of a short nonsense thing so stick around I'm going to do a little shameless self-promotion so if Redbox makes you unreasonably angry then you should probably ute or look away and I'm okay with that completely so we released a song today called Reno and I made like a little quick music video nothing substantial you'll see that very quickly and we're pretty proud of it and I'd like to show you the song it's a little Queens of the Stone Age II and after the song I'll be back with some more trash well actually it's kind of good and just to let you know for anyone who's curious the album does not have a release date but we're thinking maybe another month or two and when it comes out it will be $1 for the digital download or if you can't afford that there will be free downloads too so you don't even have to worry about buying this thing it'll be everywhere for free but I think we're going to do vinyl for those that are intrepid enough to want something like that but otherwise yeah this is just something I really like doing and sharing so here's a Reno be right back

Channel: Vinesauce: The Full Sauce

Views: 175,726

Keywords: Vinesauce, Vinny, Cosmi Software, 300 Arcade Classics, PC, Microsoft Windows, Game Collections, Quality

Id: Os4nfexNPgo

Length: 133min 26sec (8006 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 04 2017