Use These HACKS to UPGRADE Your Mindset

life can often feel like someone's literally drowning you especially if you're in an extreme case of anxiety or stress or depression and i feel like you just need to feel like you can just come up for a tiny bit of it my thought my emotion my energy and my body are my instruments of function they are not impediments in my life the person can say with their five percent of their conscious mind i want to be healthy i want to be happy i want to be free but the body's on a whole different program so then how do you begin to make those changes whatever position you're in right now you can change no matter what it is no matter how horrific no matter what you've been through no matter what you've done like there is a way out from under it if you are in a dark place and you hear change is real change is possible doesn't that lift your mood don't you want that to be true and once you allow it because you have to allow it once you allow that to lift your mood you're like i feel better just by thinking i can change that was huge for me that was like moment one was when i realized i actually can change so this thing that feels like a death threat this like smothering cloud of just like despair it can clear away and it immediately and it's not like oh it went from gray skies to blue skies it wasn't that immediate but it was it literally immediately a lighter load just because i realized i can change so i was like whoa i can change none of this is a death sentence that's so like just amazing that was enough to get me going and people are always looking for how do i have that energy i'm depressed i'm down on myself how do i get the energy to push through man you've got to find a way to find energy in that you can change so whatever position you're in right now you can change no matter what it is no matter how horrific no matter what you've been through no matter what you've done like there is a way out from under it but part of it is allowing that sense of lightness to be there so i allowed it and so it began to lift off my shoulders which then encouraged me to take more action to read more to get better i started my obsession with gaining skills that reading isn't about checking a box it's about actually getting better at something that lets you do something and i need a better way to explain this this is one of those things like if people really understood what i'm talking about right now this one fact would change their life forever you don't get skills because it looks good on a resume you get skills because it lets you do the thing you want to do if you're playing soft music or you have ear plugs in less sensory information coming to your brain so you're disconnecting from your environment if you can sit your body down and tell it to stay like an animal stay right here i'm gonna feed you when we're done you can get up and check your emails you can do all your texts but right now you're gonna sit there and obey me so then when you do that properly and you're not eating anything or smelling anything or tasting anything you're not up experiencing and feeling anything you would have to agree with me that you're being defined by a thought right so when the body wants to go back to its emotional past and you become aware that your attention is on that emotion and where you place your attention is where you place your energy you're siphoning your energy out of the present moment into the past and you become aware of that and you settle your body back down in the present moment because it's saying well it's 8 o'clock you normally get upset because you're in traffic around this time and here you are sitting and we're used to feeling anger and you're off schedule oh it's 11 o'clock and usually check your emails and judge everybody well the body's looking for that that predictable chemical state every time you become aware that you're doing that and your body is craving those emotions and you settle it back down into the present moment you're telling the body it's no longer the mind that you're the mind and now your will is getting greater than the program and if you keep doing this over and over again over and over again over and over again just like training a stallion or a dog it's just gonna say i'm gonna sit and the moment that happens when the body's no longer the mind when it finally surrenders there's a liberation of energy we go from particle to wave from matter to energy and we free ourselves from the chains of those emotions that keep us in the in the familiar past and we've seen this thousands of times in fact we can actually predict it now [Music] well a habit is a redundant set of automatic unconscious thoughts behaviors and emotions that's acquired through repetition the habit is when you've done done something so many times that your body now knows how to do it better than your mind so if you think about it people wake up in the morning they begin to think about their problems those problems are circuits of memories in the brain each one of those memories are connected to people and things at certain times and places and if the brain is a record of the past the moment they start their day they're already thinking in the past each one of those memories has an emotion emotions are the end product of past experiences so the moment they recall those memories of their problems they all of a sudden feel unhappy they feel sad they feel pain now how you think and how you feel creates your state of being so the person's entire state of being when they start their day is in the past so what does that mean the familiar past will sooner or later be predictable future so if you believe that your thoughts have something to do with your destiny and you can't think greater than how you feel or feelings have become the means of thinking by very definition of emotions you're thinking in the past and for the most part you're going to keep creating the same life so then people grab their cell phone they check their what's up they check their text they check their emails they check facebook they take a picture of their feet they post it on facebook they tweet something they do instagram they check the news and now they feel really connected to everything that's known in their life and then they go through a series of routine behaviors they get out of bed on the same side they go to the toilet they get a cup of coffee they take a shower they get dressed they drive to work the same way they do the same things they see the same people that push the same emotional buttons and that becomes the routine and it becomes like a program so now they've lost their free will to a program and there's no unseen hand doing it to them so when it comes time to change the redundancy of that cycle becomes a subconscious program so now 95 percent of who we are by the time we're 35 years old is a memorized set of behaviors emotional reactions unconscious habits hardwired attitudes beliefs and perceptions that function like a computer program so then person can say with their five percent of their conscious mind i want to be healthy i want to be happy i want to be free but the body is on a whole different program so then how do you begin to make those changes well you have to get beyond the analytical mind because what separates the conscious mind from the subconscious mind is the analytical mind and that's where meditation comes in because you can teach people through practice how to change their brain wave slow them down and when they do that properly they do enter the operating system where they can begin to make some really important changes so um most people then wait for crisis or trauma or disease or diagnosis you know they wait for loss some tragedy to make up their mind to change and my message is why wait and and you can learn and change in a state of pain and suffering or you can learn and change in a state of joy and inspiration i think right now the cool thing is that people are waking up everything in life comes down to what your own value system is so what's your identity what are your beliefs what are your values what are your habits what are your routines when you figure those out that like if you just gave me a sheet that told me what those were about somebody i would tell you what the outcome of their life is gonna be and for me implementation being willing to face the fears the anxieties the unknown um the need to stare at my inadequacies so i can figure out what skills i actually need in order to go and do something because implementation is really a question of skillset so it that's why motivation ultimately is going to let you down it's like you may be motivated to go do something but let me walk you through exactly what will happen you're motivated to try this thing which you don't know how to do and you suck at it and so you go do that thing you suck it hurts your ego because your ego is tied up in being right being good being talented worthy all those like permanent um set states that people don't realize are malleable and so they get stuck in that it damages their self-esteem so they want to run in the opposite direction psychological immune system kicks in reminds them that that was stupid anyway why were they worried about even trying that and so they back off and any one time doing that's not a big deal it's just that people do that over and over and over and over and over and my thing is that's such a predictable pattern in humanity it's like what do you have to do to counteract that and the thing you have to do is emotionally reward yourself for being willing to take the steps so okay i know i'm gonna do this i'm gonna suck at it it's gonna hurt it's gonna hurt my self-esteem and so what do i need to do to make sure that i don't trip up over that in a way that makes me turn and run in the opposite direction number one stop valuing myself for being good at something and start valuing myself for being willing to learn so that's just a core part of my value system is i'm a learner that's my identity being willing to put in the energy to learn and get better is a part of my not only my belief system that people can do it but part of my values that that is important to do as a human you should do that so when i see something that i want to accomplish then i know that i'm going to have the fortitude and the stamina to see that through because it taps into my identity of the learner and my value system of this is important and should be done so then i just keep going down so i hit the wall of my inadequacy and i don't meet that with stopping i meet that with cool now i know what i have to get better at i'm now aware of what the skill set is and so now that i know what skill set i need to develop and i believe that it can be developed then i just put the work into developing the skill now the one thing that i think it's lost in all of that is people lose desire and they think that that means that oh it wasn't as important as i thought it was or i didn't want it as much as i thought i did the reality is that even desire is something that you have to learn to cultivate to turn into a raging inferno like your wants have to become needs and i think there's some weird pushback people think that like if it's real if it's love then there's no energy that's put into building that up and i think that's bs so you think that that desire is a teachable concept desire is definitely a teachable concept the real question is building that desire will that actually work and so i think people have something in their mind of something they were forced to do that they didn't enjoy and there was no natural inclination towards that and i'll say yeah you're probably never going to be able to build something there so that's like trying to start a fire with wet moss it probably is not going to happen but if you have something where it really is a spark of real interest it's not a love it's not a passion but it's a spark of real interest now that's something that you can work with and really turn into something by building it because there is a process that goes along with building that desire there is a process that takes something from interest to full-blown passion and if people are willing to go along that process then you really can evolve that initial just sort of oh it's a spark of interest to the very thing that i'm willing to give my life over to completely [Music] well an apple tree is not trying to be an oak tree but an apple tree wants to be a full-fledged apple tree that effort is on in every life so is it in human beings but the problem with humanity is just this that for every other creature nature has drawn two lines within these two lines they live and die so their idea of full fledge is hitting the ceiling of their life but if a human being hits a ceiling he gets frustrated and miserable [Laughter] because nature this process of evolution has delivered to us to a place where there is only the bottom line there is no top line though some human beings are trying to breach the bottom line and go below that effort also is going on so essentially what human life is is when life was in the other forms of life that you see on the planet nature determined a certain compulsive instinctive ways of functioning once you become human these lines have been removed you can act consciously that means what you call as human potential is not of any kind of measurable limit it can go as far as you desire or as far as you have the courage to walk so when we say human potential unleashing human potential it is not about reaching the peak it is a trajectory because what our life is is a combination of a certain amount of time and energy time is rolling away for all of us at the same pace if you sit it rolls away if you sleep it rolls away if you do something it goes away if you don't do anything it goes away you're happy or miserable it goes away time is running out for all of us so it's only the energy that you can do different things with if you bring your energies to a certain level of intensity and possibility what somebody does in 10 years you may do it in one year this means if you live here for 100 years it feels like in people's impact that you've created it feels like you lived here for a thousand years simply because you have managed your life energies in a certain way so for me a human being being impactful means how conscious have you become this is very important because if you're in compulsive cycles then your energy gets wasted in so many things if you observe people in a day let's say let's take 24 hours in that anyway most people by prescription in america they sleep for eight hours [Laughter] so eight hours means one third of life is gone in the remaining two thirds they have to eat they have to you know shower bathroom this that all these another two three hours gone so literally 50 of life is gone daily basis just for basic maintenance of this life 50 of the time is gone in maintenance remaining fifty percent what they have if you look at every single move that they may make with their body their thought process their emotions you will see a whole lot of it is happening in compulsive cycles or in other words if you are a little sensitive to life you will realize you are the biggest issue in your life so this is one thing that i am trying to do with people that you are never the issue in your life i'm not the issue my thought my emotion my body is never the issue my thought my emotion my energy and my body are my instruments of function they are not impediments in my life but i would say for 90 of the human beings their own body then the compulsions of the body the compulsions of their thought the compulsions of their emotions are ruling them most of the time so when you yourself are a problem well your own self-help there are some people who think that their talent and intelligence are fixed traits that's a fixed mindset then there are other people who believe that their talent and intelligence are malleable traits that can be developed and they are developed through challenge and those are people the growth mindset so people that believe they can grow into basically whatever they want to become do humans have limits yeah almost certainly but there's such a gap between where you are and the upper bounds of human limitation that to even worry about limitation just doesn't make sense we put people on the moon so like once you accept that we could figure that out it's like you're not aiming at anything crazier than that so it's going to fall within the limits of what humans can do so going after that and developing that mindset and being aware of what carol dweck calls the false growth mindset which you alluded to earlier where people think they're thinking in the right way they think they're implementing something but they're really not [Music] we all get to decide what our values are what our belief system is what our rules in life are the code of ethics that we live by those are all decisions that people mistake for empirical truth but if you want to know how just unempirically true it is look across all societies they don't share it so we just decide that stuff it's usually handed to us by our parents which is what makes us confuse it with just being true but the reality is that we're all constructing this belief system value system honor code all of it and it's going to determine what we do and how we do it now if you choose to breathe life into from a value and belief standpoint putting in that work to get those skills then suddenly that energy of like whoa this is going to let me do something that lets me serve all of a sudden like wow that's uplifting in and of itself so you feel good as you're doing it now as you're feeling better about it you're going to want to do it more and so that became that self-reinforcing loop of i want to do this more but to do it more i have to become aware of my blind spots and that's where self-awareness comes in but just like any other skill like you have to cultivate you have to get better at it you have to see disconfirming evidence you have to come to realize where you have been blind now often those moments where we realize we've been blind they're emotionally devastating i love inspiration and motivation but it is the neurological equivalent of candy it's rad it has its place but everyone because those just happen to be fleeting neurological states yeah you you just have to find something that's way more grounded you need a mission you need a grand why you need to know what it is and and this is not a discovery it's a thing you decide i decided now because i tell it as a story people think oh it was unavoidable he meets this kid rashaan and that coupled with all the people that he worked with the quest it's sort of inevitable that he decides that he's going to build impact theory and try to change culture to give everyone an empowering mindset yeah well literally a year before i decided to found impact theory my mission in life was to end metabolic disease so it's like you decide and then you point yourself at something nothing is ever going to feel right like this is what i was put on earth to do it won't feel that way until about a year or two years after you've been saying that's what you're going to do that that's what you're committed to and actually acting in accordance with it and then you'll be like yeah this actually is my mission you have to learn how to emotionally recalibrate so when i was the kid in the server room and there was a whole bunch of people farther ahead in their entrepreneurial journey than i and they all heard the same message about you can be a partner and none of them did anything with it i started asking why aren't they doing anything with it and i realized the answer was i could self-soothe faster than they could and so yeah it hurt when i was told i was an idiot that really sucked especially hearing it from someone you really respect but i decided to not spin out of control not waste three days being hurt by it but instead to re-center and just ask are they right because if they're right there's something to learn here and if they're not right just move on and if they are right learn the lesson and so i just slowly started collecting it and the lessons and the image i started thinking was whenever somebody throws an insult at you you have two options you can let it hit you in the head or you can raise your defenses and defect it and your defenses are the psychological immune system they're real i'm not making that up so all of us have this thing that comes to our aid when somebody says something that hurts you then you're like oh well they're mean anyway they're a jerk they're a bully whatever i don't have to take them seriously and so that makes you feel better and you believe maybe that they're being cosmically punished in some way being a bully is its own punishment and all that so and ah like that allows you to relax and they've done studies that show people with the highest level of self-delusion are the happiest so there really is something to it but the people at the highest level self-delusion are usually not the ones that go the farthest because they don't stop to recognize where they really are to own the pain of that so i thought okay instead of raising my defenses i'm going to lower my defenses i'm going to let that rock hit me in the head because at my feet now is actually a nugget of gold and i'm going to pick up that nugget of gold in form of the lesson that the person is throwing at me and here's the thing to realize when people really come at you they're really trying to hurt you they have sinister intent they're going to come at you with something that's true nobody comes at you with the stuff that's not real they're going to hit you with like the thing that you're the most secure about in the world so even the people with the gravest of intent are the ones that are giving you the most powerful gift because you may be blind to it or maybe you didn't want to acknowledge it but if you can let it hit you as much as it hurts then bend down pick it up and learn from it now you can do something where i found the um the deepest hooks into how powerful this can be for somebody is when you talk about trauma and you've talked about how people experience a traumatic event but they then basically rehearse it and how that then has this knock on effect so what is that why do people find it so hard to get past trauma well the the stronger the emotional reaction you have to some experience in your life the higher the emotional quotient the more you pay attention to the cause and the moment the brain puts all of its attention on the cause it takes a snapshot and that's called a memory so long-term memories are created from very highly emotional experiences so what happens then is that people think neurologically within the circuitry of that experience and they feel chemically within the boundaries of those emotions and so when you have an emotional reaction to someone or something most people think that they can't control their emotional reaction well it turns out if you allow that emotional reaction it's called a refractory period to last for hours or days that's called the mood say to someone hey what's up you say i'm in a mood why are you in a mood well i had this thing happen to me five days ago and i'm having one long emotional reaction if you keep that same emotional reaction going on for weeks or months that's called temperament why is he so bitter i don't know let's ask him why is he so bitter why are you bitter well i had this thing happen to me nine months ago and if you keep that same emotional reaction going on for years on end that's called a personality trait and so learning how to shorten your refractory period of emotional reactions is really where the work starts so then people when they have an event what they do is they keep recalling the event because the emotions of stress hormones their survival emotions are saying pay attention to what happened because you want to be prepared if it happens again turns out most people spend 70 percent of their life living in survival and living in stress so they're they're always anticipating the worst case scenario based on a past experience and they're literally out of the infinite potentials in the quantum field they're selecting the worst possible outcome and they're beginning to emotionally embrace it with fear and their conditioning their body into a state of fear do that enough times body has a panic attack without you you can't even predict it because it's programmed subconsciously so then you say to the person why are you this way and they'll say i am this way because of this event that happened to me 15 or 20 years ago and what that means from biological standpoint is that they haven't been able to change since that event so then the emotions from the experience tend to give the body and the brain a rush of energy so people become addicted to the rush of those emotions and they use the problems and conditions in their life to reaffirm their limitation so at least they can feel something so now when it comes time to change you say the person why are you this way well every time they recall the event they're producing the same chemistry in their brain and body as if the event is occurring firing and wiring the same circuits and sending the same emotional signature to the body well what's the relevance behind that well your body is the unconscious mind it doesn't know the difference between the experience that's creating the emotion and the emotion that you're creating by thought alone so the body's believing it's living in the same past experience 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year and so then when those emotions influence certain thoughts and they do and then those thoughts create the same emotions and those same emotions influence the same thoughts now the entire person's state of being is in the past so then the hardest part about change is not making the same choices you did the day before period and the moment you decide to make a different choice get ready because it's going to feel uncomfortable it's going to feel unfamiliar if there's going to be some uncertainty why does it feel so uncomfortable is it because of the the the neurons that fire together wire together so i've there's like an easiness to that loop just because literally and you've talked very eloquently about this the way that the neurons connect in the brain how rapidly i've seen you show footage of how rapidly those connections happen which is pretty incredible um is is that what makes it so discomforting for people i think that i think that the bigger thing is that we we keep firing and wiring those circuits they become more hardwired so they're you have a thought and then the program runs but it's the emotion that follows the thought if you have a if you have a fearful thought you're going to feel anxiety the moment you feel anxiety your brain's checking in with your body and saying yeah you're pretty anxious so then you start thinking more corresponding thoughts equal how you feel well the redundancy of that cycle conditions the body to become the mind so now when it comes time to change a person steps into that river of change and they make a different choice and all of a sudden they don't they they they don't feel the same way so the body says well you've been doing this for 35 years all you're going to just stop feel suffering and stop feeling guilty and stop feeling shameful and you're not going to complain or blame or make excuses or feel sorry for yourself well the body's in the unknown so the body says i want to return back to familiar territory so the body starts influencing the mind and it says start tomorrow you're too much like your mother you'll never change this is going to work for you this doesn't feel right and so if you respond to that thought as if it's true that same thought will lead to the same choice which will lead to the same behavior which will create the same experience which produce the same emotion [Music] so pain is a good thing physically because that is your preservation self-preservation mechanism [Music] but suffering is something that you do in your mind so pain that happens in your body you take it in your mind and multiply it a thousand times or a million times depending on how capable you are or how stupid you are and suffer it a million times over right now most human beings are like this what happened 10 years ago they can still suffer what may happen day after tomorrow they already suffer they are not suffering life they think they are suffering life they are not suffering life they are suffering the two most fantastic faculties that human beings alone have a vivid sense of memory and a fantastic sense of imagination i want to know how close to encapsulating the notion of thinking like a monk can you get like how like if you were to give somebody just a nutshell notion of what that means what would you say it means to live a life in alignment and what that means is that you live a life where what you think what you say and what you do are aligned with your truer self and what i mean by your truest self is the self that was not given to you by your parents or by your education or by media or movies or not the self that you've created to function in the world so i think if you strip away all of those expectations obligations and opinions what you're left with if you live in alignment with that then you're thinking like a monk the monkey mind is what we all experience every day so the monkey mind is jumping from branch to branch it doesn't want to focus on the root of the issue it wants to find the next banana it wants to find the next excuse it wants to find the next instant gratification right that's the monkey mind and so the monkey mind is never going to help you focus on your strengths and the reason going back to one of the earlier questions you ask the reason why we struggle to find our passion is because the world has constantly pushed us away from our strengths we've constantly told to focus on your weaknesses oh you've got three a's and a d you should be working on that d let's get that up to an a right i remember in my school they had this excruciating exercise where you'd be ranked 1 to 180 on every subject every year and they'd send the list home to your parents so there were 180 students in my year group and every subject art math english science geography history you name it you were ranked 1 to 180 in every subject based on your test results and scores and that was like painful when my parents received that and the crazy thing was i would always outperform always in art design philosophy and economics i was in english i was always in the top half if not in the top quarter if not in the top five right of my whole year group and stuff like science and geography and math i was kind of like in the middle and and towards the bottom end of my year now granted i went to a competitive school so i was still okay at those things but the interesting thing was that my parents and my friends parents would never look at what you came one or two or three in they'd be looking at the things you came 90 100 110 in and so we've all been programmed to say oh your strengths are they're fine they're good the way they are but why are you not performing at this and so the one way to know your strengths is to ask yourself what do you do that you feel the most confidence doing and it could be something as simple as i'm great at organizing birthday parties it could be like that may be your skill right that may be your strength or it may be something like i'm really good at putting on makeup or it could be that i have a great sense of fashion it could be any of those things and if you don't know it yet you can also do an exercise where you sit down with a colleague a family member and a friend because you need people from all areas of your life and you ask them what do you think i do that i excel in that i stand out in or if you could trust me to do one thing in your life for you what would that one thing be if we know that people are struggling with the monkey mind they they're telling they're filling their cup up with a lot of things that are self-destructive maybe too big of a word but it's directionally correct that things that aren't leading them to joy to peace how do we bring the ashram to them how do we go about you know beginning the process of healing i know a big part of your journey was questions questions questions questions questions what are the right questions um do we have to meditate is that optional do we have to give up sex like where where did we fall when you got to that part in the book i had to laugh out loud so what how do we bring the ashram to people how do we help them like now start doing things specifically to empty their cup to refill it with something that's going to lead to to peace and to joy and yeah the first thing i'd say is i think everyone needs the feeling that they can just come up for some air life can often feel like someone's literally drowning you and you feel like you're drowning and floundering especially if you're in an extreme case of anxiety or stress or depression and i feel like you just need to feel like you can just come up for a tiny bit of air so for that in the book i talk about the 3s model which is your sights sense and sounds what we see what we hear and what we smell has a profound impact on our mental state and we actually underestimate our sense and i'll give you an example all of us have been walking around with masks and someone said this to me the other day and it hit me they were saying to me that now that we all wear masks and do this the whole time i think my over there they were doing this all the time they realized they couldn't hear people properly and the reason they couldn't hear people properly is they realize they don't use their ears they use their eyes to see people's lips and so actually they're not even using their ears that much they're using their eyes to follow the lips and know what someone's saying so actually we depend so much on our eyes in every interaction how many times have you been looking at someone attractive and you forgot what they were talking about right you're just so engaged with your eyes that you completely even forgot to listen right or you're so lost in in the vision of something again and you're in a daze you can't smell anything you can't taste anything so we've got to learn to reactivate our senses so i'll give an example of what i mean as monks our life was sight designed sound designed and scent designed what's the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning for 80 percent of people the first thing they see in the morning is their phone and the last thing they see at night is their phone that is poor sight design because you don't even choose what the first message of the day your mind receives it actually made my stomach drop that's a gnarly thought it's true yeah right imagine the last thing someone sees is not their partner or their spouse the person they sleep with they see their phone and the first thing in the morning they look at is their phone and guess what it's not a good site but you're looking at a message that you didn't design for your mind you're looking at a picture or an image that maybe came through on your instagram feed that you didn't choose for your mind so now you've started your j with envy jealousy comparison competition collab like all of the all of the monkey mind stuff and the monkey mind is excited the monkey mind's on the monkey mind's like yeah we're ready to go and now you've started the day with the monkey mind so my advice is start your day with a quote that you love start your day with a picture of someone that you love or your family start your day with a work of art that inspires you start your day with seeing the first thing that you see make it so closely connected to your soul and your goal and your purpose that your monk mind naturally comes alive so as monks the first thing that we saw was sometimes a teaching that we'd keep next to us it might be a spiritual text where i just ripped it out of a book and stuck it there next to my bed so i woke up to that just wake up to something that you actually want to see when you wake up and make it intentional and make it focus it could even be a reminder on a sticky note i remember for a long time i had one when i was a monk that said i am not this body just to disconnect from the fact that i was more than this body and because we didn't have mirrors in the ashram it was very easy to forget i was this body or i've had other ones where that say to me i'm exactly where i need to be and i've read that in the morning and that just reminds me because so often i wake up feeling anxious that i'm behind on my day or i'm late and then i actually make up a mess whereas if i read i'm exactly where i need to be and i remind myself i can start my day there so that's sight this and that's simple easy for anyone to do you don't have to change your mind you don't need to meditate you don't have to do anything the second one is let's talk about scent design now one of the things i've been missing during quarantine is going to a spa or going to like a resort because i love massages and i love spas and like me and my wife love getting away and if you think about it whenever you go into a spa or a massage space or whatever they're called or a resort you can always feel relaxed from the moment you walk in just through the power of scent it could be the most basic room in the world but a scent can literally illuminate a whole room so sense like eucalyptus lavender sandalwood if you've got a diffuser or a candle and you can make this a part of your routine before you start your work day just have a candle that you breathe in for four seconds and breathe out for four seconds [Music] live through the moment where i know what i would do when i have money and i have to give it up to do something and i choose to go do something that makes me feel alive i've had the moment where i've had all the money in the world and i know what i do do i retire and the answer is no i don't i keep going as if i had urgency for what though you could say oh to have the impact to leave the legacy but i don't think legacy at all in the slightest if you told me tom you could spend the next 40 years building the sink but no one will ever know who you are i'd be like fine does it does the impact actually happen and carry on yes perfect it is that experiment of thinking like whoa we can actually make the world better and that people will go on to do amazing things the only thing that matters to me is what i think about it it doesn't matter what other people think about me that's irrelevant i can't control it it's going to change from my life it just too many people have said if you stay in the game long enough you will see yourself become the villain so i know like right now people come up to me crying and thanking me for their help i'm one sentence away from saying something that really upsets people and then people come and are like you i hope you burn so it's like i get it i know how that plays out so i don't care about that it's beautiful when it's positive and i've helped somebody but i'm only worried about what i think about myself so i know about myself the thing that i'm moving towards is really thinking that i'm making impact and while it's possible that on a long enough timeline i will stop being neurochemically rewarded for that and not care anymore and thus i might slow down and not want to do anything but nothing in my 42 years of experience lead me to believe that that is true about me so i am there's nothing there's no shortage of things i'm so excited about that the thing that scares me i have two fears my wife dying because we have this beautiful shared experience and i don't want i don't want to try to recreate that and it can only be recreated in real time so it would take me 18 years to get back what i have with her and then the other thing is brain damage because if i can't process data the way that i process data now i worry it won't be as fun so like the struggle of everything the trying that's i value myself for that and that's what i really love and then just innately and i don't know that i did anything to earn this i love change so where other people are freaked out by change dude i welcome change aggressively the bigger the shake up the better and so what i tell people is because you're more likely to believe something negative don't even worry about what's true worry about what empowers you when it comes to just yourself i'm not talking about you know fake news or you know a post-truth world i'm just saying for yourself there's both of those narratives are based on facts so the truth of one or the other doesn't matter one is empowering and one is disempowering act in accordance with the one that's empowering if you look at that as a philosophy of life which is let's just accumulate let's just hoard and let's just celebrate on my own we know people and stories about people who will not be satisfied that way to just have you're one of them you and lisa and i ca and i can say this honestly and i said this to liz the other day are two of the most generous loving people and humble people that i know despite all your success and incredible achievement and that's what endears people to you it's not what you have that endears people that may endear some people to you but what keeps the right people around is that you both have these human qualities because you want to serve you want to help you want to support and collaborate and so for me i feel like we either live and then we leave the opposite the other opposite life is our life is just about giving it's just about service it's just about helping that's not sustainable either and so to me i've discovered through real monk wisdom that life is actually embracing polarities it's actually about doing a dance and knowing which way to go at the right time so i believe as much in strategy as i do in sincerity and i believe in much as generosity as i do in generating value for myself and i believe as much in giving as i do in growing and i think as soon as you start to say no it's either or you have to choose i think that's where we start to lose a part of ourselves and that's why i add that compassion to passion because i know a lot of people who do what they are passionate about but actually lack meaning and purpose in their life because they haven't turned it into a service look at yourself in 10 15 20 years time and ask yourself the question is that where i want to be and if the answer is no then you need to find a new part to just get to understand yourself you don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are

Channel: Tom Bilyeu

Views: 346,464

Keywords: Sadhguru, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Joe Dispenza, Jay Shetty, Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, interviews, how to be successful, interview show, Think Like a Monk, becoming supernatural, meditation, isha foundation, control your thoughts, change your habits, how to train your brain, control your emotions, stop the negative thoughts, negative thoughts

Id: vG9wxvLDTQE

Length: 42min 28sec (2548 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 31 2021