Ultimate X-Men Pitch Meeting Compilation

so you have a superhero movie for me yes sir i do uh superhero movies are so much fun oh yeah super fun so this one starts in a nazi concentration camp in world war ii oh my god yeah and that's when we're gonna be introduced to the movie's villain magneto when he was a kid what's magneto's deal he controls metal and he's super powerful oh yeah yeah he's so powerful that he has a newton's cradle in his office but it's just metal balls that he's controlling with his mind why what do you mean why like why is he doing that who's he doing that for i guess for whoever walks into his office you know they'll be like oh look at those things go i shouldn't mess with this guy seems extremely unnecessary for him to do that but i imagine it's gonna look cool oh yeah if i'm being honest that's the only reason that's gonna be in here that's the only reason that really matters so yeah magneto's whole thing is that he thinks that mutants are far superior to humans so tell me a little more about mutants like what's their deal oh well basically mutants start developing their superpowers around puberty oh wow then i think i might actually be a mutant no no idea what you're talking about when i hit puberty i developed the super power to speak in a lower voice forever ah that's not a superpower you developed around puberty that is puberty i'm a hero well okay sir so anyway we're gonna meet this young mutant named rogue who's just discovering her powers oh whatever her powers she get a deep voice basically if she touches somebody she absorbs their essence and powers and whatnot so if you touch her you die oh i think my wife might have something like that are you saying that your wife has mutant abilities well she must because last night i wanted to get a little intimate and she was like if you touch me i'll kill you i don't think that's a mutant power i think that's your wife despising you oh yeah she does hate me that makes a lot more sense so anyway rogue is gonna run away to canada and meet this dude wolverine and what's his deal oh well he has crazy healing powers and his skeleton is plated with a super strong metal called adamantium very cool yeah he's gonna be in a cage match and every time he throws a punch you're gonna hear like a metal noise we're gonna do that every single time he has a fight we're never gonna do it again ever oh quickly abandoning things is tight so anyway rogue is gonna sneak onto the back of his trailer and then they're going to get ambushed by magneto's evil henchmen saber-tooth how did he find them i don't know fair enough but then these nice mutants storm and cyclops are going to jump in and save the day well how did those guys find everybody oh i actually have an answer to that one see there's a telepathic dude named professor x and he's able to locate mutants using a machine called cerebro so why doesn't professor x use cerebro to track down magneto well magneto has a special helmet thing so professor x can't track him or read his mind oh and magneto made those special helmets for all his henchmen too no he's the only one that gets to wear one so professor x can just track one of the henchmen and find them all well yeah but he's not gonna why not because then the movie's problems would be resolved too quickly oh stretching things out is tight we're also gonna have a really cool scene where professor x mind controls sabertooth and grabs magneto by the throat so magneto's definitely gonna get them all helmets after an incident like that right no like i said he's the only one that gets to wear one well okay then anyway i imagine professor x is gonna rip off magneto's helmet using the guy that he's mind controlling no he's just gonna grab him by the neck but he has a golden opportunity to capture magneto yeah but then the movie's problems would be resolved too quickly right okay getting real stretchy we're also gonna have this mutant mystique who's like a shape-shifter oh how can we tell who she's shape-shifting as she's gonna flash her eyes yellow whenever she's feeling super evil who does she do that for us gotcha so anyway later magneto's gonna use a machine to activate mutant powers in the senator that hates mutants oh interesting but the senator's gonna end up getting some water type power so he just squeezes through his cell bars wait magneto didn't know what kind of powers he was gonna get no or he would have put him in a cell that didn't have bars so what would happen if the senator got crazy powers capable of killing magneto well i guess magneto would have died oh what a massive gamble yeah i guess he got really lucky wow so then magneto's gonna want to turn a bunch of senators into mutants so he brings his machine to the statue of liberty and there's gonna be a big final fight and storm's gonna fight against this toad guy very exciting yeah and i wanted to make this into a super badass moment to set her up as a cool character for the sequel so i had to think of an awesome line for her to say was that hard to do no it was super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah i just had her crack a little joke before killing him oh kind of like a john mcclane and die hard kind of thing so what's the joke she's like do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning the same thing that happens to everything else and then and then she hits him with some lightning so wait when does the joke happen that was the joke the lightning thing yeah yeah that didn't seem like a joke as much as it did just stating facts about lightning well she's a teacher not a comedian cut her some slack oh okay i guess that excuses the terrible lion let's hope so so what do you think of the movie i like it yeah yeah it really feels like something we can make a franchise out of you know something that's ours that nobody could ever take away from us [Music] so you have an x-men sequel script for me yes sir i do and because of the way we ended the first movie we have a couple of things we need to get out of the way like what well like wolverine took off on a motorcycle to look into his past right right so he's immediately gonna be like well couldn't find anything and go back to the mansion oh didn't put much effort into that at all and another thing is that mystique is still taking the form of senator kelly wait she's still senator kelly how long's it been a little while i guess so she's been sitting in on meetings voting on bills going home to senator kelly's family golfing yeah mystique is a full-time public servant now but sometimes she flashes her eyes yellow to nobody in particular so she's still evil oh flashing your eyes yellow when nobody's looking is super evil we're also gonna have storm back in this movie and now her kenyan accent is completely gone oh what happened to her accent i guess she spent the months in between movies going to speech therapy or something wow interesting priorities also halle berry threatened to club me with her oscar if i didn't take out her character's accent she was having a tough time with it in the first movie anyway so in this movie we're gonna have this bad guy striker attack the x-mansion with a bunch of dudes that's not good and wolverine's the only adult there and he ends up escaping with rogue and bobby and this guy pyro okay so then they go hide out with bobby's family in boston and what happens there well bobby is gonna come out as a mutant to his parents and they're not gonna be understanding at all they're going to be like have you tried not being a mutant oh i didn't realize this was a cheap wedding what do you mean because that metaphor is thinly veiled oh solid burn on my writing ability sir that one hurt my feelings fantastic anyway so then the cops show up because bobby's little brother is a dirty rat and they think wolverine's holding knives so they tase him no they immediately shoot him in the goddamn face oh my god boston pd doesn't mess around yeah but he's fine well thank goodness so then the x-men take off in the x-jet but they get chased by some fighter jets uh-oh yeah so storm makes a whole bunch of tornadoes wouldn't that be incredibly destructive and dangerous for the people down below yeah i guess she killed a bunch of people or at least destroyed their homes whoops so then what happens well the fighter pilots have to eject from their planes but one of them manages to fire off two missiles oh so what does storm do well at that point she decides to stop helping what couldn't she hit them with lightning or something probably but she's not gonna why not doesn't feel like it huh so then gene takes over but she messes it up and the x-jet gets hit wow storm picked a horrible time to stop helping she sure did so the x-jets start spiraling downwards wow it's gonna be tough for them to get out of that situation actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah just before the jet's about to crash magneto stops it with his powers he's gonna stop it from where well he's like standing in the forest clearing next to where the plane's going down so he just kind of catches it how could he have known the exact flight path of a jet doing evasive maneuvers at 500 miles per hour oh that's a good question yeah it is and uh the answer is uh magnets magnets yeah magnets well that works for me oh thank god he is magneto after all he sure is and what else happens in the movie well wolverine's whole thing in this movie is about wanting to find out about his past right okay and so he's gonna find out that stryker was the one who injected him with adamantium well and what does wolverine do with that information absolutely nothing huh and then striker's gonna use his own son jason to control professor x and cerebro and try to kill all the mutants in the world oh boy yeah but magneto's gonna stop him and be like hey kill all the humans instead okay so what happens with the humans well professor x starts to do his thing so all the humans in the world kind of freeze up and have these crazy pain seizures wow so we're actually gonna have professor x kill a bunch of people that's dark no he's not gonna kill anyone they're just gonna kind of freeze up in pain but what about the humans that are driving on the freeway or piloting planes or in the middle of surgery wouldn't they all die right right so how do you explain that one i'm i'm just gonna go with magnets again if that's cool fair enough magnets are tight anyway so then a dam is gonna break because cyclops is the freaking worst and all the x-men are gonna have to escape from the water exciting but then the plane isn't starting so gene has to sacrifice herself wait what yeah she gets out of the plane and controls it with her mind cause there's some water on the way isn't there a mutant on the plane that freezes stuff there's two actually because storm has a whole big scene earlier where she freezes stuff and they didn't even try to freeze some of the water make a protective barrier or something they do not so then yeah gene dies but also she doesn't because sequels wow so what do you think it sounds great man just make sure you don't go too deep into wolverine's origin though why not well because that's amazing material for a spin-off you want to make an entire movie about wolverine's origins oh yeah for sure i think that's the best way to do this character justice [Music] so you have an x-men 3 script for me yes sir i do and at the beginning of this one cyclops is going to be really sad because jean grey died in the last movie that's right she did yeah so he's going to go revisit the lake where it happened and she's going to pop out of the water like what's up i'm back so she was hanging out at the bottom of a lake this whole time just waiting for somebody to show up i guess so oh underwater patience is tight it sure is so they're gonna reunite and share a little kiss well it's gonna be crazy to see how those two characters move forward after all so cyclops is gonna die what yeah she kisses him and his skin goes a little and then he dies off screen or something i don't know and that's the end of cyclops yeah i wanted to show that i'm a big boy and this is a serious movie so i figured killing off a main character right at the start is a good way to do that i guess it will be cool to see the repercussions of his death and how the x-men deal with it oh there won't be any repercussions he's just dead and nobody cares and i'm a big boy oh really yeah yeah so what's going on with gene how come she killed her boyfriend and hid in a lake well the dark phoenix part of her's in control now oh we're doing the dark phoenix storyline that's a fan favorite from the comics that's right but we're gonna do it a little differently uh-oh yeah instead of the phoenix force and whatever this is just gonna kind of be her full potential that professor x suppressed or something that sounds like it's gonna be so much worse yeah i can't really dive into the whole cosmic entity phoenix force because there's like a whole other storyline going on oh there is well there's gonna be this whole thing where this lab got their hands on this kid that makes people lose their powers and they used him to develop a mutant cure so we're gonna do the hugely important dark phoenix storyline but as kind of a background thing right so a lot of the time jean's just gonna stand around in the background looking real upset huh but at a certain point she's gonna make professor x explode professor x is gonna explode yeah i'm a big boy and this is a serious movie i thought the death of cyclops was to show that you're a big boy and this is a serious movie well look i gotta keep the drama going in this thing so once in a while i'm just gonna you know completely destroy something we set up in the first two movies well okay then so tell me more about this cure storyline well we're gonna have magneto gather a bunch of mutants together oh what kind of mutants one's a little porcupine that you shouldn't give hugs to and the other is a gps tracking device those don't sound super exciting well if you want to talk about exciting magneto is gonna use gps lady to track down mystique who's on this prison transport bus oh that does sound exciting yeah but then she's gonna get shot with a cure needle and lose her powers if the guards had access to the cure why didn't they already use them on the mutants they captured i don't know fair enough and is mystique gonna get her powers back eventually no she's done she's gonna become a snitch and then be out of the movie but people really liked mystique she was super interesting well i figured we could get her out of the movie to give some other characters their time in the spotlight so we're gonna focus on gps tracker and porcupine yeah but also a guy that can multiply himself and this guy juggernaut who runs through walls oh i already missed mystique she's done yeah you said that so anyway then magneto and his crew want to go destroy the lab on alcatraz that's making the cure oh so what do they do well magneto is gonna use his magneto powers to lift the golden gate bridge oni's gonna drop the bridge on the facility that's really cool no he's gonna move the bridge over a bit and connect alcatraz to the mainland what why well he's like charles always wanted to build bridges right but it feels like the only thing that would do is give his enemies a way to attack him from behind yeah and that's exactly what happens so so then there's gonna be a whole big battle scene even though magneto could easily end it at any time even though magneto could easily end it at any time and why doesn't he well the thing about magneto is that he'll use his full powers for dramatic transportation but never for fighting well then i imagine dark phoenix could just kill everybody for sure but she's mostly just gonna dramatically stand behind magneto why wouldn't she just kill everybody they want to kill though well if phoenix and magneto use their full powers then there's no need to have a fun little battle where the lesser mutants use their powers okay gotcha yeah so there's going to be this whole thing where magneto's crew are trying to kill the little cure boy wow so nightcrawler teleports in and saves the boy no he doesn't why not well because i forgot he existed until you just brought him up so he's not in the movie fair enough so anyway eventually wolverine and beast are gonna stab magneto with the cure needles and he's gonna lose his powers oh wow but then jean grey's gonna go all dark phoenix and start destroying stuff oh boy yeah but wolverine can regenerate so he starts walking towards her very cool and his clothes are going to disintegrate as he walks pg-13 his shirt is going to disintegrate as he walks but his pants are fine there you go and then he's going to stab her with the cure needle so she loses her powers too no with his claws so she dies what yeah so now we have three dead main characters two great villains that lost their powers one character that i forgot and also rogue gets rid of her powers voluntarily i have to say it's gonna be difficult to leave the door open for sequels after all your big boy stuff actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah we're gonna have a little scene at the end where magneto's in a public park and he makes a little metal chess piece move shouldn't he be in jail or in hiding isn't he like a world famous terrorist you think so but apparently you can destroy the golden gate bridge and face no consequences i didn't know that so what do you think of the movie to be honest i'm not exactly sure about the way that we're handling this whole dark phoenix thing i'm pretty sure it's the right way to go i don't know it feels like people might hate it tell you what if people do hate it we could just retry the storyline in a decade or so [Music] so you have an x-men origin story for me yes sir i do and i was thinking we could just call this one wolverine actually i'd like to call it x-men origins wolverine that way people know that we have a bunch of these in the works you don't think we should wait and see how this one does first that's probably fine we're gonna make a ton of movies in the x-men origin series well okay then so what happens in this one well it's gonna start off with wolverine when he was a little canadian boy what do we establish there basically that he has a brother named victor who also has powers do we really have to show them his kids to do that yeah it's an origin movie so you have to have them as kids in there oh okay i didn't know that was a requirement uh-huh so then we're gonna have him and victor fighting through a bunch of wars in history wow that actually sounds like an awesome basis for a wolverine origin movie yeah wolverine fighting alongside humans and world conflicts it's gonna be amazing that sounds fantastic definitely so we're gonna have about three minutes of that oh three minutes okay it sounded like you had a good thing going well they say too much of a good thing can be bad so i'm gonna keep it to a bare minimum in this movie that seems like a bad idea but the way you said it sounded kinda wise so i'm on board great so what are we gonna move on to from there well they're gonna be in prison and this guy stryker is gonna come along and recruit them onto a team of mutants for secret missions oh yeah yeah and on their first mission victor's gonna climb a building and do nothing and wolverine's gonna stand around and do nothing they're not gonna do anything on the mission not really hey can we go back to the war stuff no this is what we're doing now okay worth a shot and one of the mutants is named wade wilson and he's like a wisecracking helicopter all right i guess then the mutants are gonna start killing people and wolverine's gonna be like i don't like this i'm out leaving was an option apparently so then we're gonna jump forward to like six years later oh another time jump yeah because time is a man-made concept and everything is meaningless and nothing matters ah that's a good point so now wolverine has a girlfriend and fans are finally gonna find out how he got the name wolverine how so well his girlfriend's gonna tell him a story about how the moon is lonely because she had a lover but he was tricked by a trickster and now he's forced to roam the earth and sir what's up was the story too boring no it's probably fine i don't know what happened there okay well long story short there's a spirit named wolverine that howls at the moon why would a wolverine howl at the moon isn't a wolverine like a wolf or something no no it's a completely different animal not not even a canine oh well that's embarrassing i have this whole big thing about a wolverine howling at the moon yeah that's not something they do should i change it that's probably fine okay good that would have been hard work working sucks oh yeah so what else happens in the movie well then his girlfriend's gonna get killed by his brother oh it feels like i should care but i don't did i miss her character development no you didn't she didn't have any ah that's why so then wolverine's gonna want to kill his brother yeah i guess he would and stryker shows up like hey i could do some weird tests on you and make you indestructible if you want wasn't he already indestructible since he's lived for hundreds of years and he's been shot a bunch of times yeah but now he's gonna have metal in him oh i guess that's different so stryker's gonna pump wolverine full of adamantium and then tell his men to wipe his memory why didn't he wipe his memory before the procedure i don't know fair enough so then wolverine's gonna run around naked and be taken in by an old couple nice of them to take in a muscular naked dude oh yeah and we're gonna have a scene where wolverine uses their bathroom and checks out his new metal claws oh sweet that'll let me practice my editing skills your editing skills yeah i always wanted to try that cgi stuff maybe i'll make his claws myself shouldn't you hire somebody that has experience with that stuff no i could probably handle it plus i have 25 days left on my adobe after effects trial so i gotta use that for something yeah i guess so so then what happens well then we're gonna answer the big question fans have been wondering about since the first x-men movie oh yeah yeah where did wolverine get that leather jacket oh i didn't realize people were wondering about that well as it turns out an old guy gave it to him and then died well good to know i guess and we're also gonna have wolverine walk away from an explosion in slo-mo and not even look back at it hasn't that been done before i don't think so okay just checking so anyway then we're also gonna have a scene where the whole movie turns into a silly cartoon oh that's fun cartoons are fun and then wolverine's gonna go to kill striker but we're gonna find out that his girlfriend wasn't actually dead ooh plot twist right why did they fake her death because that works we're also gonna find out that she can manipulate people just by touching them and make them do whatever she wants oh wow and striker made her get into a relationship with wolverine to make him do whatever he wants why didn't she just touch wolverine and make him do what stryker wanted why did she have to get in a relationship i don't know but also stryker is forcing her to work for him because he's keeping her sister captive so why doesn't she touch him and make him let her go she doesn't think of that i guess huh and then wolverine's gonna free a whole prison full of cameos ooh cameos are tight yeah but then striker unleashes a modified version of wisecracking helicopter guy and now he's named deadpool how was he modified well he has super long blades that come out of his arms how does he bend his arms when they're retracted i guess he doesn't huh and he also teleports and he shoots lasers from his eyes and his mouth is going to be fused shut wow there is a lot going on there uh-huh so then wolverine's gonna climb a cooling tower why would he do that because that's where i want the final fight to take place right but why would he go there for the final fight yeah but why would the character go there because that's where the fight's gonna be well okay then so then he and his brother are gonna fight deadpool for a bit and then cut his head off wow and all the cameos are gonna be saved by a creepy sex doll that kinda looks like patrick stewart wow so yeah that's about it wait so in the previous x-men movies we have wolverine not knowing about his own backstory yeah that's true well we're creating a big plot hole here it's gonna be hard to explain the memory loss actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh so i'll just have striker shoot him in the head with some memory erasing bullets but one in all the mutants he saved to remember him yeah i wouldn't overthink things i certainly didn't fair enough so what do you think well that deadpool guy sounds like a whole lot of crazy are you sure that's the best way to handle that character 100 people are gonna love what we did with deadpool so you have a wolverine movie for me yes sir i do so we're gonna meet wolverine back when he was a prisoner of war in nagasaki in 1945. okay i can see where this is going and it sounds a little insensitive i don't know the meaning of the word it means not sensitive oh right that makes sense and that is a good way to describe it i guess so what happens to logan well he saves this guy yashida from the atomic bomb using a metal door and his body well wolverine must look messed up after that yeah he's gonna look like a sun-dried tomato has been doing crossfit and is seeing some pretty good results oh a super fit tomato anyway then he's gonna wake up in bed with jean grey oh so they're together now isn't she dead she is so then wolverine wakes up again oh a dream within a dream you got me yeah you idiot you thought he was done dreaming but he's not my concept of reality's been shattered and i don't know how to feel anymore great so gene is gonna be like this sexy ghost-like character that's haunting wolverine for the whole movie oh attractive ghosts are tight yeah and so then this girl yukio shows up and wants to talk to him what's her deal does she have powers yeah she's able to sometimes dream how people are gonna die but in very ambiguous ways that leave it open to interpretation okay i made foreshadowing into a character oh okay gotcha anyway so she tells wolverine that he's gotta come with her to japan because that guy from nagasaki is dying and he wants to say thanks oh but i guess wolverine doesn't remember him huh no he remembers what about all that stuff we keep doing about him having memory loss oh you mean that thing where we keep driving home the fact that he doesn't remember his past yeah yeah i forgot that was a thing so it's not anymore oh okay remembering stuff is hard yeah i hate doing that so anyway then he goes to japan okay and yashida is like good news we can transfer your powers to me so i'll be immortal and you'll be mortal and you'll die eventually oh yeah i guess at this point in wolverine's life that would be a nice relief yeah but wolverine's like no no no no when he goes to sleep oh okay and then he wakes up and there's this mutant with her tongue in his mouth oh my god who is she well she dresses in green and she walks around all seductively and there's poison in her mouth i thought poison ivy was a dc character she is this is viper oh yeah she's practically not poison ivy well okay then anyway so then wolverine finds out that yoshida is dead yoshida dies after going on a whole thing about immortality yep he's he's dead no he's not uh-huh yeah you know he didn't make it and he died and so now he's a dead person no he's not a dead person he's an alive person okay he's not dead but maybe if we pretend like it's not super obvious a couple of people will be surprised i don't think anyone's gonna fall for that but okay so anyway then some bad guys are trying to kill yashida's granddaughter mariko so wolverine has to protect her why does he have to do that because oh okay yeah and they're gonna take a bullet train together and wolverine's gonna have to fight some guys on top of it oh what's that gonna be like it's gonna be like i failed physics class that's probably gonna make it better to be honest yeah probably also wolverine's gonna get shot a bunch of times oh well that's not really a problem for him well we're gonna find out that that viper lady messed with his powers so now he takes damage oh man it's gonna be hard for him to get through the movie if he can get hurt actually it's going to be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah it mostly just means that sometimes he's going to wince in pain that is a very minor inconvenience so anyway wolverine and mariko head to just outside nagasaki to hide out okay and they talk for a little bit but then it starts to rain and their clothes get all wet oh so they make love what no they don't yep they do i'm sorry it's movie law what do you mean if two characters get caught in the rain that scene needs to be immediately followed by a kiss or a love scene well what happens if i just have them dry off and get changed you'll be executed oh my god well i guess they make love then despite there being no real chemistry there oh very romantic and very law-abiding and then she's gonna get kidnapped uh-oh yes a wolverine has to go save her and fight a bunch of ninjas and bad guys wow and that viper lady's gonna get shot in the heart with an arrow oh so she dies no she takes the arrow out and sheds her skin so she's fine what yeah it's just like a viper you know you stab them in the heart and then they shed their skin and they're totally fine i don't think that's a thing where did you hear that a crazy guy shouted it at me on the subway oh okay as long as there's a source anyway so then she dies for real like a minute later oh and there's gonna be somebody inside this big silver samurai armor and wolverine's gonna have to fight them very exciting and it turns out that yashida is alive and he's inside the armor yeah i know ah damn it yeah sorry anyway he tries to steal wolverine's healing powers so yoshida's plan was to lure wolverine over to this place so he can weaken him and steal his powers yeah pretty evil right but didn't they already have him like at the beginning of the movie what do you mean why'd they go through all that extra trouble of faking a death and luring him to a new place when they had him he was sleeping he was poisoned well if they did all that then then the movie would have been over in like 10 minutes oh that's too short for a movie yeah so we gotta go with this you know unnecessarily complicated plan can't have a 10 minute movie anyway so then he throws his sheet off a cliff well great and so that's about it sounds like a lot of fun well thank you very much and i think it'd be really great if we make this thing r-rated oh no no way oh why not well i mean if you have an r-rated superhero movie you alienate the younger audience oh so it wouldn't make any money exactly there's just no way that could be successful i'm sorry [Music] so you have an x-men movie for me yes sir i do and this one's gonna take place in the past oh so is this like a prequel or a reboot yes well okay then so we're gonna start off in a nazi concentration camp and this bad guy shaw is gonna kill magneto's mom well that's not very nice of them it's not so then magneto's powers get unleashed and he just destroys everything he kills guards he shoots metal everywhere sounds exciting yeah so this guy's shy is like oh okay good to know your powers are unlocked by pain and anger wait magneto didn't do anything to the guy that actually killed his mom nothing at all because we still need him for the rest of the movie oh okay so he needs to not get hurt and at the same time we're gonna have baby mystique break into the x-mansion and meet baby professor x why does she break in there because she's scared and hungry so she wants to look in the fridge she's a hungry child so she breaks into a mansion and raids the fridge that's what we're going with huh then we're going to jump forward like 20 years and grown-up magneto's going to be on the hunt for shock because he wants revenge wait what happened in those 20 years unclear how did he escape from shaw i don't know why is he just now on the path to revenge because this is when the story starts well okay so anyway magneto tracks down some former nazis in a bar cause they'll know where shaw is okay and then he kills them but he gets information from them first no he just kills them well it's gonna be tough for him to find shaw if he just killed the guys who know where he is actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yes he in the bar he sees a picture of shaw on a boat in miami okay yeah so he knows that shaw is on a boat in miami and there's no need to question them at all but that picture could have been taken at any point in time and since he's on a boat he could be anywhere in the world by now well that's a good point but it turns out he is still on a boat in miami so it all works out oh and what's going on with him now well it turns out shock can absorb energy and reuse it and he also has a couple of other bad guys on his crew oh yeah well there's emma frost who's a telepath and could turn to diamonds there's nightcrawler but red and there's a guy who makes tornadoes sometimes wow and what's shad's plan here well he wants to trick the usa and russia into starting a nuclear war so all the humans can die and the mutants can survive if he has a telepath and a teleporter can he just get into the specific room he needs to to fire the missiles himself probably but he's going to go with this complicated plan instead how come so the x-men can stop him fair enough anyway so professor x is going to end up going to talk to the government and then he's going to do this cool thing where he just freezes everybody just so we can talk to one person oh he can freeze everybody that's gonna be useful moving forward yeah you'd think so so then he and magneto are gonna go on a little recruitment mission and make a team of mutants oh that's fun and we're gonna find out how they all got their nicknames how does that happen they just they gave them to each other oh okay yeah that's pretty straightforward anyway shaw is gonna end up attacking the base where they're all hanging out why does he do that well he goes to see them like hey you guys want to join me and most of them are like no so he's like okay never mind why doesn't he kill them well he does kill one of them but only because he tried to attack him well who does he kill this dude named darwin and he has the power to adapt to anything to survive so how does shock gillum with like a ball of energy and how come he's not able to adapt to that because fair enough there's also this dude hank mccoy that really wants to find a cure to some of the weird physical stuff that comes with being a mutant oh right because he's blue and hairy right not yet actually he just has some weird feet but he wants a way to hide them what about you know shoes oh ignoring the existence of shoes is tight what's up with your toes you can't see my toes right now sure i can anyway so hank ends up making this serum using mystique's blood but right before the big final fight he tries it and that turned some blue and hairy why would he test something like that right before going to save the world he wanted to look good for the big fight i guess pretty weird priorities he didn't want the bad guys to laugh at his feet i guess that would hurt his feelings which could be distracting we're also gonna have this thing where emma frost is in custody oh that's pretty cool and she's gonna show the guards that she can easily escape well why doesn't she i don't know well okay and then later shaw is gonna absorb the energy from a nuclear core oh i bet he's gonna do something cool with that nope oh okay never mind and so we're going to end up in a situation where the x-men have to deal with the cuban missile crisis or something oh we are yeah there's going to be a ship full of americans and a ship full of russians and the x-men have to stop them all from starting a war well good thing professor x has the ability to freeze large groups of people as established earlier in the movie yeah well he's not going to do that though why not because by the time i got to writing this scene i forgot that i established that power so he's not going to use it fair enough and so then he's going to get hit by a deflected bullet in the spine and that's how he loses control of his legs they didn't have bulletproof suits or anything actually we're gonna make a point of having hank make bulletproof suits and professor x is the one that points out that they're bulletproof i guess hank is just really bad at making stuff i guess so so then as professor x is lying there paralyzed magneto's gonna be like all right who wants to join my team let's go not really the time for that not really but they're gonna split up and red nightcrawler is gonna teleport them away so how do the other mutants leave unclear sir aren't the american and russian forces still right there they are huh so what do you think well honestly i think it might be a little risky to go back in time like this we might make some mistakes that mess up the timeline don't worry about that sir i got it under control all right if you're sure 100 [Music] so you have an x-men movie for me yes sir i do so in this one we're gonna have some x-men from the original trilogy and from first class oh how are we gonna do that please don't say time travel with time travel uh-oh yeah so the movie starts in the future with some of the x-men being killed by these giant sentinel robots okay but since kitty pride could send people's consciousness to the past she basically warns their past selves not to be there wait i thought kitty pride's thing was that she can run through walls and stuff well in the comic that this is based on another mutant sends kitty pride's consciousness back in time so so how come you're giving kitty pride that ability so that we can have ellen page in the movie and no other reason well okay then so then the x-men are gonna decide to send wolverine's consciousness way back in time and he has to try to stop this crappy future from being set in motion and why him well we're gonna say that the time travel thing basically shreds your mind but his can regenerate is that just an excuse he came up with to have wolverine be the star you're damn right i respect that yeah so in the 70s he still has his bone claws wow and he needs to stop mystique from killing this guy trask who invented the sentinels trask yeah remember that guy from x-men the last stand he was played by bill duke that actor from predator oh yeah hey maybe we could get that tyrion lannister guy to play him he's really popular right now you want to recast bill duke's character with peter dinklage yeah yeah yeah i mean okay those are just two extremely different humans oh well i'm sorry i don't see color or height or age oh sir it sounds like you should visit an eye doctor you might be legally blind oh that's some solid advice thanks so much large grey shape you're welcome and so how far back in time do they send wolverine well mystique kills trask in 1973 so they send wolverine to right before that happens wouldn't it make more sense to send him a little further back than that yeah but that wouldn't be as exciting so you're manufacturing a ticking clock narrative where there doesn't need to be one that's right please pay me for this oh i will anyway so to find mystique wolverine has to find professor x and magneto but in 1973 they're having all kinds of problems oh they are yeah beast made the serum that lets professor x walk again but he loses his powers so professor x is just a dude now exactly because if he had his powers he'd be able to solve the movie's problems in like two seconds so what's he gonna do he's gonna tag along on most adventures even though he can't help in any way well okay then so then they need to get magneto but in 1973 he's in a big non-metallic prison under the pentagon well 1973 was really not the ideal time to send wolverine to no it wasn't so anyway magneto's in jail for killing jfk wait what yeah but later we're going to find out that he was trying to save jfk because jfk was also a mutant what i want to know more about that oh too bad oh man so anyway to get magneto out of jail wolverine's like i know a guy and they go get quicksilver how does wolverine know quicksilver unclear huh so then as they're breaking out of the pentagon some guards shoot at them oh no but quicksilver's so fast he's able to run around the room and knock out all the guards as the bullets are being fired wait what yeah it's gonna be this incredible scene where he's just listening to music and moving stuff around and nudging the bullets out of the way i mean that's like a god-like power he could literally go grab mystique and the movie would be over yeah definitely this guy is good well it's gonna be hard to keep the movie going if quicksilver can just you know end it actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah we're just gonna have quicksilver you know stop helping what do you mean he's gonna go home i don't know what to tell you but how can we possibly explain him not helping maybe the rest of the mission's too dangerous for him he's just a kid they literally had him break into the pentagon listen if you don't want the movie to be over you're gonna have to climb on up off of my back okay i'll climb so anyway we're also gonna have mystique keep trying to murder trask by taking on the appearance of people around him right that makes sense but he has this little device that detects when mutants are around so he keeps catching her wait we're saying that since the 70s the government's had the ability to detect mutants that's right i feel like that's going to mess up a bunch of the storylines we created that's the entire point of this movie oh it is yeah we're just going to introduce the concept of timeline so everything makes sense and nothing makes sense and nothing matters and i don't even care oh finding excuses for our sloppy work is tight so anyway then president nixon is going to unveil these mutant-killing sentinels to the public and there's going to be a bunch of security so they have those mutant detectors set up no just metal detectors oh and magneto's going to secretly put metal inside the sentinels so he controls them oh that's smart because if he makes the malfunction in public the program's never gonna move forward yeah and he's also gonna you know drop a stadium around the white house that okay that ruins everything and at the same time but in the future the x-men are being attacked by more robots uh-oh so we have this awesome situation where the hero's mind is off trying to complete a task while his body's about to be destroyed by sentinels right i've seen the matrix okay good so yeah that scene from the matrix but with x-men great yeah so all the mutants in the future are fighting sentinels so kitty pryde could keep doing her thing with wolverine wow and then back in the 70s wolverine's gonna get stuck at the bottom of a river so he can't help anymore also i guess kitty pryde can stop sending his consciousness into the past what do you mean well if he's done all he's gonna do the future is just gonna play out as it's gonna play out right he's not affecting the past anymore oh well we're only gonna have the future get fixed when mystique decides not to kill trass but kitty and wolverine no longer have anything to do with that yeah well whatever well whatever then so yeah because mystique showed compassion everything works out what about that whole thing where magneto lifted a stadium and dropped it around the white house well humans don't care about that because mystique showed compassion okay but there's still all those she showed compassion all right i guess that solves everything then so then wolverine's gonna wake up in this future where everything is perfect and gene never died and nobody ever died and everything's amazing wait so wolverine's consciousness was just hijacked by a different version of himself from another timeline that's right a version of himself that has no memory of the past 50 years as they happened yeah it's gonna be a pretty nice moment that's actually a horrifying moment a version of wolverine was basically just mentally murdered by another version of himself yes such a sweet moment if you say so and then we're gonna see that in the past wolverine was picked up out of the river by william striker oh that's a clever knot it's like that's how his claws are gonna end up covered in adamantium yeah and then stryker's eyes are gonna flash yellow so we're gonna be like oh that's mystique what pretty cool twist right but wolverine has to end up with stryker eventually right because he still has the bone claws right but this is mystique but why do that i don't know fair enough then so what do you think well it sounds like a hot mess but i think if we get the right director on board it's gonna work out did you have somebody in mind yeah i was thinking we could bring brian singer back into the franchise oh he's definitely somebody you want to be associated with [Music] so you have an x-men prequel reboot sequel script for me yes sir i do it's going to be called x-men apocalypse oh it sounds serious how does it start well we're gonna meet this godlike mutant apocalypse in ancient egypt right and he freaking loves pyramids ah they were all about pyramids back then and he's about to use some gold stuff or something to transfer his consciousness into the body of a guy who can heal himself okay and then people are gonna attack him and his followers and the pyramid is gonna crumble and fall into this super deep pit which is maybe something the pyramids had underneath them wow anyway so then thousands of years later apocalypse is gonna rise again in 1983. oh yeah and he's gonna run into a young storm and then decapitate some guys with some sand oh my god that guy is powerful oh yeah he's basically a god so then storm brings him home oh not like that oh and he's gotta catch up on what humans have been doing this whole time so he touches a tv and absorbs all our history what kind of ancient power lets him do that how does that even work unclear but storm's gonna be like what are you doing and he's gonna be like learning oh he sounds like me when i try to talk to women what are you talking about yeah usually when i talk to a girl at a bar she'll be like what are you doing and i'll be like flirting and that works for you well let's just say that no not once well okay then so anyway after checking out human history for a couple of seconds instantly apocalypse is like you know this whole place has to go i can understand that yeah i can't blame him on that one so what does he do after that well he's got to get four horsemen together because that's like his thing if he has godlike powers why does he need four horsemen because that's like his thing well okay then so he decides that storm is gonna be his first follower so he gives her just the cutest makeover uh besties yeah and then they go recruit this lady psylocke who has this cool energy blade thing oh what's she gonna do in the movie she's gonna do a bunch of flippy flips and cut a car in half and look really upset the whole time a very angry flippy lady and then the third horseman is this guy angel right i remember angel from x-men the last stand he was just discovering his powers yeah well this is a different take on him because we played with timelines and days of future past i don't know that being in a different timeline means you can be born in a different decade oh definitely get off my back about timeline stuff oh okay yeah it's a free pass to do whatever i want so definitely don't bring it up again gotcha that's my bad anyway then they're gonna go recruit magneto and he's all bummed out because the family he created between movies is dead ah bummer so what did the horsemen do for apocalypse exactly betray him for the most part oh yeah and him recruiting them is gonna help us fill up a good chunk of the run time well okay then so then on the good guys side of things we're gonna meet younger versions of characters like cyclops and jean grey oh who else are we going to meet we're going to have nightcrawler oh jubilee's going to be there oh jubilee what's she going to do in the movie i just told you oh anyway so apocalypse is going to end up taking over cerebro and taking control of all the world's nukes oh my god well if he wants to destroy the world that's a good way to do it for sure so he launches them into space oh he does yeah that's not how he feels like destroying the world up to him i guess so then havoc uses his chest beam to destroy cerebro and the whole mansion blows up uh-oh yeah and luckily quicksilver happens to be walking by so we're gonna have a really fun slo-mo thing where he saves everybody oh that's fun yeah it's gonna be funny there's gonna be a dog eating pizza and quicksilver's gonna drink some soda so fun to watch very fun and then we're gonna find out that havoc died oh my god you really switched the tone on me yeah and he's scott's brother too so geez he must be devastated he will be a little sad for one scene yeah wow anyway so now apocalypse and his four besties have kidnapped charles oh why'd they do that what's the plan here well apocalypse wants to use charles to tell everybody on earth that he's about to destroy their stuff and the people that survive are gonna survive why would he need to tell them that why not just do it i don't know fair enough so then the plan is to have magneto destroy a bunch of cities while apocalypse transfers its consciousness into charles wait what yeah pretty evil right apocalypse wants to mind control everybody pretty evil yeah but he's gonna do those at the same time yeah yeah why not just wait until magneto's done destroying stuff he's impatient i guess and why send that message from earlier if he's just gonna mind control everybody anyway this is just how he wants to play things i don't know what to tell you okay but anyway back at the mansion striker shows up in a helicopter right after the explosion what like right away how did he react so quickly unclear but he goes ahead and captures the main characters why does he do that so he can have this big side quest with the sole purpose of forcing a wolverine cameo into this thing oh people like wolverine they do and he's been in the hands of striker for a while so he's in full weapon x mode at the end of the last movie mystique had him while disguised as striker so how did the real striker get him unclear huh so then we're gonna have a big final fight scene where the x-men try to stop apocalypse and magneto just destroys cities well it's gonna be hard for the x-men to take on someone with god-like powers like apocalypse actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah charles is gonna be like hey gene unleash your power and so she does that and that solves everything oh that worked out pretty well it did and so at the end magneto's gonna help rebuild the mansion and charles is gonna be like well see you around old friend wait didn't magneto just destroy cities and kill a bunch of people he did but he helped them a little bit at the end so all is forgiven oh instantly forgiving mass murderers is tight yeah it is and so i guess by the end of the whole thing mystique is kind of leading the x-men now huh why would she be the leader because jennifer lawrence plays her oh right okay we can make that happen yeah we already said she ages slowly so that works and we'll just have to figure out the rest of the casting what do you mean well this takes place in the 80s so like beast would be in his 40s we'll have to get a new actor to play him i figured it could still be nicholas holt he's like in his mid-20s yeah but we could just pretend like he's in his 40s like him with makeup not even no just pretend oh yeah and we could pretend that rose byrne is in her 50s we can get nuts with this i don't know man this seems a little weird nah it'll be fine okay maybe for this one but we should probably stop this random decade jumping gimmick we're doing because it's gonna start to get out of hand or here's a better idea i'm listening you could just shut up about that what [Music] so you have a wolverine script for me yes sir i do wow so what happens in the movie sir what's up with the language sorry it's just that deadpool was such a big success that i'm all about swearing right now oh you are yeah i mean look at this wad of cash can you believe it that looks like about three dollars yeah there's more where that came from my purse is full of cash so you made this wolverine thing r-rated too right did you say you have a purse so you made this wolverine thing r-rated too right yes sir i did there's gonna be a bunch of f-bombs and graphic violence and two boobs oh that's the perfect number of boobs this movie's gonna be a lot of fun no it's gonna be bleak as hell oh it is yeah logan is old and dying and professor x is even more old and more dying and every other character we've ever met is dead oh getting bleak is tight yeah you like getting bleak yeah check this out did you ever stop and realize that sometime in the future you'll be thought of for the very last time wow that is incredibly bleak i know right so anyway logan and this mutant caliban are taking care of professor x and his mind is super worn down and he has these telepathic seizures that make everyone freeze up oh no yeah so he needs medicine and constant care but logan has a plan oh he does yeah he's working as a limo driver so he can save up and buy a boat how would being on a boat help the situation they're in well they'll be on the water so professor x's seizures won't affect people but they'll affect logan and caliban well caliban can't really go because he's like super allergic to the sun so the plan is to go somewhere where there's going to be less help less access to food less access to medicine and a huge risk of sinking and drowning every time there's a seizure to be honest i just needed a reason for logan to accept a risky job for a lot of money and i was like boats are expensive maybe he needs a boat fair enough boats are expensive you need like several pursefuls of money to buy one do you carry a purse so what's the job he accepts for a bunch of money well there's this nurse gabriella who worked in a top secret lab and she needs help getting this little mutant girl laura to safety okay so she tells logan that she'll give him twenty thousand dollars if he drives them to north dakota so they can cross the canadian border and be safe from the guys chasing them why would crossing into canada stop the guys from chasing them because nothing bad ever happens in canada oh yeah if i understand correctly canada basically has a force field around it and nothing bad can get in i did not know that it's just basic geography well okay then so tell me more about the bad guys well they're called the reavers and they're led by this guy donald pierce oh what's his deal well he rolls into every conflict super cocky-like even though at the end of every conflict he loses like 60 men unbreakable confidence i respect that so anyway the reavers end up killing gabriella how did they find her she was carrying around the same phone she used while working at the lab so it was probably pretty easy what well she had a video on there that she wanted logan to see so she kinda had no choice what was the video it was this video that she masterfully edited together showing the experiments they do on kids at the lab i mean this thing has voice over narration and security camera footage people are gonna be like wait is she a nurse or a documentarian well what a talented lady anyway so then laura's gonna sneak into logan's car and go to mexico where he's keeping professor x okay and then the reavers are gonna come knocking and she's gonna massacre a bunch of them because she has the same powers as wolverine wait if she massacres a bunch of them why wasn't she able to protect gabriella i don't know literally every time she encounters reavers from this point on she absolutely destroys them must have been off her game guess so so then what happens well then logan is stuck in this position where he has to take care of a child and an old man right so we've got this really unique arc for him where he's like a reluctant hero actually i feel like that's been his exact story arc in every single movie yeah but now he drops f-bomb so it's different true we're also going to throw in the scene that wolverine fans have been waiting for for years oh you talking about berserker rage well yeah no we're gonna have that later in the movie what i'm talking about is a scene where he helps professor xp what yeah that's the kind of stuff fans have been dying to see i feel like we have different understandings of the fanbase if you're not excited to see that i guess we do huh so anyway professor x is gonna have a massive seizure in a hotel just as the reavers are arriving oh boy now we're gonna have this really cool scene where logan struggles around and he stabs them all in the head and when the seizure stops they're all gonna collapse at the same time if the seizures are telepathic wouldn't people just collapse as soon as they get stabbed in the brain oh yeah i guess so because it's not like he's freezing time or anything yeah exactly but it's gonna look really cool if they all fall at the same time though so cool that people aren't gonna question it oh yeah i'd say so well then let's do it awesome so what else happens well later they're gonna meet a really nice family and go to their place for dinner oh that's nice yeah and logan's gonna be like well we gotta go cause there are murderers chasing us right but professor x is gonna be like let's stay the night logan what's the harm in that everybody will probably die right so everybody's gonna die including professor x obviously so then laura is gonna suddenly reveal that she can speak why wasn't she speaking in the first place i don't know we're not gonna explain it it's fair enough and now logan's like really sick and tired and it seems like he's gonna die oh no so they go all the way to north dakota where there's gonna be a showdown with the reavers and a clone of wolverine it's gonna be impossible for logan to take them all on if he's dying actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah luckily the kids have like a magic potion lying around that activates his berserker rage that is very convenient so yeah then he's gonna go crazy and kill everybody and his evil clone's gonna impale him on a tree oh my god but then laura's gonna shoot the clone in the head with an adamantium bullet oh so the clone is gonna have his memory erased what no he's gonna die oh it's just that in x-men origins he got shot in the head with an adamantium bullet and just kind of forgot stuff that movie hey you said a bad word i knew you were the right person for this movie wow hearing you say that is the highest honor i could ever hope for doesn't get any better than that i know [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Pitch Meeting

Views: 2,140,383

Keywords: Pitch Meeting, xmen, hugh jackman, wolverine, professor X, marvel, xmen in the mcu, ryan george, james mcavoy, patrick stewart, michael fassbender, ian mckellen, raven, jennifer lawrence, james marsden, cyclops, halle berry, storm

Id: IPQRF4dpERg

Length: 48min 23sec (2903 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 11 2022