Every Star Wars Movie + Show Pitch Meeting In Chronological Order

so you have a Star Wars prequel script for me yes sir I do a surprise to be sure but a welcome one okay right off the bat that sounded awesome and I'm gonna steal it for the script uh yeah go for it thanks so what happens in the movie well I'd like to gear this one towards kids a lot more you know makes sense that'll help us sell toys exactly so what I did was Focus heavily on politics oh kids love politics oh yeah my kids will not shut up about politics same here they're like Dad can we go read some books on trade regulation and I'm like shut up and play with your Nintendo 64 you nerds well your kids are gonna love this movie because a major part of it has to do with the taxation of trade routes to outlying Star systems uh the taxation of trade routes to outlying Star systems is tight oh yeah so anyway the greedy Trade Federation blockades this planet Naboo in preparation for an invasion right okay so the chancellor of the Republic is gonna send Obi-Wan Kenobi and his master Qui-Gon Jin to negotiate with the Viceroy so Obi-Wan is an apprentice in this movie well in the open opening tech scroll we're going to call him a Jedi Knight and at the end of the movie we're gonna have a thing where he becomes a Jedi Knight ah the Jedi's so nice they knighted him twice exactly hasn't he already said that Yoda is the one who trained him though yeah whatever fair enough so is Obi-Wan like the main character in this thing well I wouldn't say that so who's the main character I don't know probably not important to know that anyway anyway so this bad guy Darth Sidious orders the Viceroy to kill the Jedi oh how are they gonna do that they're gonna gasp them for about 15 seconds and then send some battle droids to shoot at them oh I like the sound of battle droids is it hard to destroy them now super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah they're really bad at their job and the Jedi cut through them like butter they don't sound very threatening they won't be so what happens next little Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are gonna use four speed to run super fast and Escape oh four speed I bet that's gonna come in handy later in the movie they will never use it again oh they won't okay and then they're gonna see that there's a droid army preparing to invade Naboo so they're gonna be like we have to go warm them so what do they do they sneak onto the Droid ships they're going to try to warn the Naboo of an invading Army by flying in with the invading Army that's right huh and then they're going to end up on Naboo and meet this creature Jar Jar Binks oh what's he like oh he's gonna be a fan favorite he's like a giant lizard rabbit thing that says funny stuff what kind of funny stuff like oh distant gonna be messy me no watching okay and at another point he's gonna be like Yusuf should follow me now Okie day I'm not sure I get it well trust me people are gonna love jar jar if you say so he's also going to be banished from his Society oh being an outcast is actually pretty badass what did he do he was too clumsy okay never mind so anyway he's gonna tag along with the Jedi for the rest of the movie how come because that works and they're all gonna rescue Queen Amidala from a couple of droids and then Escape through the blockade isn't that gonna be hard to do no super easy barely an inconvenience wow so then they're gonna go to Tatooine and realize they need a new part for their ship bummer and jar jar is gonna step and poo are people gonna think that's funny yeah poop is hilarious well okay then so Qui-Gon is gonna try to buy the part he needs at one of the smaller shops he finds do they have it yeah the flying bug salesman says he has the only one in town is he telling the truth I don't know qui-gon's gonna take his word for it and not check anywhere else so qui-gon's gonna buy it well all he has is some credits that the guy doesn't want to accept so he's going to look around town to see if anyone's willing to exchange the credits for other currency now he's going to set up an elaborate bet involving a boy in some kind of Space Race thing called pod racing okay this sounds overly complicated it's so you could sell video games oh that's fantastic I love it and this boy is actually Anakin Skywalker AKA Darth Vader oh very interesting like a teenage Darth Vader no like a teeny tiny little boy Darth Vader oh people want to see Darth Vader as a little boy right maybe exciting stuff and he and Queen Amidala are gonna have kind of a mother-son Dynamic going on oh that's cute and in the next movies they're gonna bang what anyway so Qui-Gon senses that Anakin is strong with the force so he wants to get his midichlorian count midichlorians oh yeah they're microscopic life forms that allow the host to detect the force so now we're saying that to use the force you need to have a bunch of microscopic life forms in your blood that's right and we're also going to imply that midichlorians are what fathered Anakin we're implying that tiny life forms somehow banged Darth Vader's mom something like that I guess that adds to his backstory so anyway then they're gonna ditch Anakin's mom and go to Coruscant for a bunch of politics and meeting and talking and talking and talking and talking I hope that takes up a big chunk of the movie oh yeah solid 30 40 minutes I love it and Qui-Gon is going to explain to the Jedi Council that Anakin is special and needs to be trained and they're going to be like nah how come they say he's too old and they sense fear in him and they all just feel really weird about it so their plan is to just hope it all works out pretty much huh then the characters are gonna go back to Naboo so what do they do with Anakin they can't just bring a child to a war zone they're gonna bring a child to a war zone interesting choice yeah and they have to pass the blockade again nah the blockade is gone now now come because that works and then we're gonna have a grand finale with a whole lot of stuff going on oh what kind of stuff well this bad guy Darth Maul is going to kill Qui-Gon oh no and he's almost gonna kill Obi-Wan oh taking on two Jedis I can't wait to see what this bad guy does in future movies oh he's gonna die oh he is yeah he's just gonna stand there while Obi-Wan does a bunch of acrobatics and cuts him in half wow and then Anakin is gonna accidentally blow up the ship that's controlling all the droids lucky kid yeah and he's gonna be like now this is POD racing ah that doesn't make any sense yeah cause he's like this this is this is this is POD racing but it but it's not pod racing right no it's not so so why does he say that because he's all excited so he's like this is now this is POD racing okay so how does the movie End well then the Jedi are gonna agree to let Obi-Wan train Anakin why because Qui-Gon wanted that right but didn't they feel weird about it yeah they still do so what's changed Anakin blew up the ship I guess wasn't that an accident it was huh so what do you think of the movie well I'll tell you one thing if people don't like this movie I doubt we'll ever see any Star Wars prequels ever again probably a good move [Music] so you have a new Star Wars movie for me yes sir I do amazing I'm really excited to get started on this one CGI technology has come a long way oh it has oh it has so I think we should use it in you know every scene every single scene I don't know if that's necessary sir most of the script is people standing around talking about politics well what better way to make those scenes more interesting than by having them be 95 computer generated I feel like there might be a better way we can also make most of the characters in CGI too it just feels like as technology gets better Through The Years this might not age well I don't think you understand how good this CGI is gonna look it's gonna be photorealistic if the photo is a screenshot of a PS2 cutscene oh like a PlayStation 2 cutscene that does sound fancy yeah it's never gonna get any better than that we need to go all in right now you're probably right oh I am so what happens in the movie oh well at the beginning of the movie padme's decoy is going to be killed in an assassination attempt oh no yeah it's gonna be really sad as she's dying she's gonna be like I'm sorry I failed you failed her wasn't that literally her job yeah I guess she didn't really understand the job description because she did great wow so anyway Obi-Wan and Anakin are assigned to protect Padme just in case there's another attempt on her life and what's going on with Anakin well he's about 10 years older now and boy does he have his creepy pervert stare on lock oh good for him yeah and he's like obsessed with Padme so he's just gonna be throwing those in her Direction the whole movie oh he is yeah at a certain point it's gonna get so bad that padme's gonna have to be like please stop looking at me like that and that's just gonna make it worse huh so anyway they have to keep Padme safe right so they Place her in a secure room or something no no no they put her in a normal room with a big old window but they stay in there with her no they had some cameras in there but she shut them off because Anakin was making her uncomfortable always watching her in a creepy way oh this guy's a predator yeah Darth Vader is a real horn dog jeez so anyway this flying thing shows up and plops a couple of murder worms into her room murder worms why not explosives again well after they killed the decoy the bad guys decided they needed to be a little more discreet why I don't know well okay so Anakin and Obi-Wan save her and then chase down the Assassin very exciting yeah and it turns out the Assassin was hired by another assassin Bounty Hunter guy Django Fett wait an assassin hired an assassin yeah the Assassin hired an assassin to assassinate somebody and then follow the Assassin to supervise the assassination and then assassinated the Assassin when the assassination went wrong okay I'm pretty sure that doesn't make sense but you said the word assassin so much that I'm all thrown off and I'm just gonna go with it great so what else happens well Padme needs to be protected some more because there's all kinds of incompetent assassins after her right so the Jedi decide that Anakin should be the one to go with her to her romantic home planet and take care of her oh were there not any other Jedi oh there are a ton of other Jedi but they're gonna send this irresponsible pervy one with incomplete training interesting choice yeah besides all the important Jedi need to sit around and talk about their feelings so they can't go right they freaking love talking about their feelings so Anakin and Pad may head over to Naboo and he's just trying super hard to get into her space pants and she's not into it not at all until he finally strikes a chord with a little speech about how much he you know freaking hates sand oh and that's what does it for her yeah and he also calls her soft and touches her exposed skin without permission oh dissing sand and rubbing skin is tight oh yeah it's irresistible so she kisses him but then she's like oh no I can't because she met him when he was a child and this whole thing is super weird no she's over that now now it's because she's a senator and he's a Jedi is that not allowed nope it's not why not because well okay then anyway then Anakin's gonna have a dream that his mom's in trouble so they head over to Tatooine okay and when he finds her she's like now I'm complete and she dies oh my God yeah so then Anakin just massacres the Tuscan Raiders that kidnapped her and then heads back to Padme geez does he tell her what he did yeah he's like I didn't just kill the men I killed everyone the women the children well it's gonna be hard to make her fall in love with them after something monstrous like that actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah it seems like that makes her like him even more because a couple of scenes later she's like I truly deeply love you that is how women talk um I'm glad you said that because I've never spoken to a real one so I just took a wild guess so is there anything else going on in this movie besides the love story that will be most of it to be honest oh people will be into that right uh fingers crossed but we're also going to have Obi-Wan wandering around investigating stuff oh yeah yeah he's gonna find this place where some aliens are building a big Clone Army why are they doing that because like 10 years ago a Jedi named sifo Diaz told them to and then died oh tell me more about the sifo DS no oh okay anyway So eventually Obi-Wan gets held captive on Geonosis by a bad guy named Count Dooku okay and so Padme and Anakin try to rescue him but they get captured too oh no yeah so they all get put in this big arena so they could be killed by monsters wouldn't it be better for the bad guys to just kill them immediately instead of placing them in a situation where they can escape probably but then the movie would be over so they're gonna go with this stupid dumb idea gotcha so then this big kitty cat monster is gonna swipe at Padme oh what happens to her well her tight shirt turns into a tight crop top oh thank you kitty cat and then a bunch of Jedi show up and a bunch of clones show up and they fight a bunch of droids so Count Dooku tries to escape on the Speeder bike thing oh a bike speeder thing huh is that gonna look cool no it's gonna look like somebody in a Walmart parking lot that hit the gas too hard on their scooter oh okay so then the main characters chase him but Padme falls off the ship oh no yeah so she's like man I gotta get to the hangar to go help them how does she know they're going to a hangar unclear huh so then Anakin and Obi-Wan get to the hangar and fight Dooku a little bit very fun and then Yoda shows up and has a big old lightsaber fight with him doesn't Yoda need a cane to walk he does but when he's fighting he's fully able that doesn't make much sense well do you want to see Yoda bouncing around like a pinball with a lightsaber or not not really well it's gonna happen so definitely get off my back about it okay I'll do that great hey how come Yoda and the Jedi couldn't detect all this dark side stuff happening this whole time well the dark side of the force was being clouded so they couldn't see it what was clouding it the dark side of the force um anyway then Padme and Anakin get married well so she was really into that murdering women and children thing he did sure looks that way anything else I should know about well we're going to introduce a little baby Boba Fett in this movie why Would we introduce a young Boba Fett well if we give characters more backstory one day they can have their own spin-off movies oh that's very smart yeah I'm sure people would eat those spin-offs up I'm sure they would unless one of them tanks early on and ruins everything can you imagine [Music] so you have a new Star Wars script for me yes sir I do it's gonna be called episode three Revenge of the yeah actually I got your email about the title and you realize we can't do that right well what do you mean well you can't use that kind of language in a movie title and it also just feels like immature potty humor oh no it's Revenge of the Sith oh okay I must have misread it I was like is this going to be about a toilet that backs up no it's about Star Wars stuff well I'm relieved so what happens in the movie well we're gonna start with a bunch of space stuff happening like a whole lot of it it's not really going to be clear who's who but it's going to be like yeah something's happening for sure very exciting and Palpatine's been kidnapped by Count Dooku so Obi-Wan and Anakin have to save them okay they go fight Count Dooku and Palpatine convinces Anakin to cut Dooku's head off yikes must have been tough to convince him to do something like that actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah he just makes a very compelling argument and that convinces him well what does he say to him he says do it oh very convincing yeah yeah so what else happens in the movie oh well Padme is pregnant now and her and Anakin are just super in love oh they are yeah so we're gonna have some amazing romantic dialogue going on between them like what well for example he's gonna be like you're so beautiful and she's gonna be like it's only because I'm so in love and he's gonna be like no no it's because I'm so in love with you oh very romantic and realistic because people talk like that yeah I don't want to toot my own horn or anything but you know Shakespeare can suck it I'm the greatest writer now oh dethroning Shakespeare is tight it is so anyway Anakin has a nightmare that Padme dies and he's like oh I don't like that at all okay so then the whole movie Palpatine's gonna be like Anakin you know if you join the Dark Side you can stop people from dying that is a pretty good sales pitch and what else is going on oh well Yoda's gonna go fight alongside some Wookies against a droid army oh why is he doing that so we can have some Wookies in the movie oh people like Wookies yeah we'll have Yoda fight alongside Chewbacca doesn't that create some problems for the original trilogy like Han Solo doesn't believe in the Jedi but we're saying that his partner fought alongside one well yeah but if we don't include this Chewbacca scene We're not gonna get to see Chewbacca oh yeah that is a good point okay keep it in we're also gonna have OB he won go fight this bad guy General Grievous and what's his deal well he was trained in the Jedi Arts by Count Dooku oh he was and apparently he was also trained in the helicopter Arts by a helicopter oh very cool anyway so much later in the movie Anakin's gonna finally figure out that Palpatine is a Sith lord well it took him a while that's the most obviously evil character I've ever seen yeah so he tells Mace Windu who goes to confront Palpatine and how does that go oh not well Palpatine shoots some lightning at Mace Windu and he deflects it back and starts to kill him oh and Anakin's standing there like oh boy I don't want either of these people to die so Anakin tells Palpatine to stop shooting the lightning so Mace Windu can stop deflecting it at him nope he cuts off Mace Windu's arm and Palpatine sends him flying out the window oh my God yeah Anakin was conflicted about it but as soon as he did it he's like well I guess I'm evil now wow ready to go and so Palpatine is like hey I need you to go murder some kids real quick and Anakin's like yep I'm on it oh wow that's a huge escalation wasn't he conflicted like two seconds ago yeah but he decided to be evil now so he's fine with killing kids geez yeah and then Palpatine calls for order 60 86 which makes all the Clones kill all the Jedi oh no except our favorites oh okay good oh and we're also going to find out why Anakin is called Darth Vader oh and why is that because Palpatine was like this is going to be your name now oh right okay anyway so then Obi-Wan watches some security footage of Anakin killing children and pledging himself to Palpatine so he's like oh this guy's up to no good he's not wrong and so he goes to tell Padme and she's like there's no way Anakin would do something like that I don't believe you didn't Anna can tell her in the last movie that he killed a bunch of Tusk and Raider children yeah he did tell her that but I guess she forgot because she's real dumb now oh okay so then Obi-Wan has to go kill Anakin and they have this big lava fight like it goes on for a while and Obi-Wan's gonna be like Anakin Chancellor Palpatine is evil and Anakin's gonna be like from my point of view the Jedi are evil oh okay that's just some placeholder text right you're gonna put in some less ridiculous dialogue it was placeholder dialogue but I forgot the login information for my laptop so we're kind of stuck with it now oh okay that's fine so then they keep fighting but at a certain point Obi-Wan goes up a hill a little bit okay so he's like well it's over Anakin I have the high grounds what is he talking about well Obi-Wan's a little higher up than Anakin so that's basically Checkmate you know you can't win if you don't have The High Ground what about in Phantom Menace when Darth Maul had The High Ground and Obi-Wan killed him oh well that doesn't count though why not because I forgot about that oh fairy now so then Obi-Wan chops off Anakin's Limbs and leaves him to burn to death oh my God and then Padme dies after giving birth to Luke and Leia wait nine months have passed apparently yes they have wow so what happens to her were there complications during childbirth no no no she just doesn't feel like living anymore what are you talking about she was so sad that she died I don't know what to tell you yeah maybe we should go with the complications thing okay we'll go with complications okay great in the sense that she just got out of a complicated relationship and died from sadness ah never mind so then bail Organa takes baby Leia and Luke gets sent to Tatooine to Uncle Owen and Aunt baru why did they bring him there so that Anakin can't find him so they bring him to his actual family and let him keep the Skywalker name I feel like he'd be easy to track down yeah well I kind of have no choice but to shove everybody into their starting positions for a new hope so it doesn't really matter matter if it doesn't make sense oh okay gotcha yeah like Yoda pieces out to Dagobah because he's embarrassed oh and then Palpatine's gonna hook Anakin up with the Darth Vader costume and tell him that padme's dead oh and what does Anakin say he says no it seems about right and so yeah that's about it that's the story of Anakin and Palpatine and stuff wow yeah we spent a lot of time with them it's gonna be nice in the future to make more of these movies and kind of steer away to other villains oh for sure it'll be nice to switch it up a bit [Music] foreign so you have some Star Wars milk for me like the blue milk no like another way to milk the franchise we bought for billions of dollars oh right yes sir I do amazing so what did you have in mind I was thinking we'd do an Obi-Wan Kenobi show for Disney plus oh that's a very recognizable name it sure is Sir so this would take place 10 years after Revenge of the Sith and Obi-Wan is living on Tatooine and looking at a little boy through some binoculars uh watching people through binoculars is tight generally not no sir but this is a 10 year old Luke Skywalker he's from the Star Wars holiday special amongst other things yeah so Obi-Wan is keeping an eye on him you know in case anything happens oh right and you know in the past 10 years Obi-Wan hasn't been doing any training or four stuff so he's pretty weak now so how is he intending to protect Luke if anything happened oh unclear but so then on Alderaan a 10 year old Princess Leia gets kidnapped oh she's from Rogue one a Star Wars story yeah other things too though and she almost gets away because these bad bad guys are like clumsily whacking their faces on tree branches and stuff falling over oh wait is this a cartoon occasionally it is Sir yeah well okay then so then her adoptive father Bale Organa goes to see Obi-Wan like what's up dude you gotta save her he doesn't need a pretty powerful dude wouldn't he have a bunch of AIDS and guards and security people and stuff yeah but Obi-Wan's the protagonist so he asks for his help right and it turns out this Inquisitor Riva planned the whole thing because she wants to get Obi-Wan what do you mean well see she found a connection between the two of them in the archives so she's like oh if I take bail or Ghana's daughter he's definitely gonna go to this guy he hasn't spoken to in like a decade for hell oh a very big leap and why does she want Obi-Wan because he wants to impress Anakin Skywalker he's from the Mandalorian nope oh I got that one wrong yeah no he's from practically everything else and he's Darth Vader now and if she brings him Obi-Wan he might make her grand Inquisitor oh wow wow wow wow so Reva actually ends up stabbing the current Grand Inquisitor because he wanted to take credit for capturing Obi-Wan who then escapes with Leia Riva has forced Powers she does and we're gonna find out later that she was actually a Jedi youngling who survived Order 66 when Anakin tried to kill her and so she works for him now yes he became a ruthless Hunter who kills Jedis because she wants to get back at the guy who killed Jedis I guess that makes sense and eventually Obi-Wan and Leia get stopped by these Stormtroopers who have this face scanner thing and after it scans his face he shoots them all if he was going to shoot all of them why wait until his face was scanned into their system I don't know and so now he's gotta Escape but there's a freaking laser fence those are hard to get around they are except for this one which is very easy to walk around oh well good yeah so they Panic for a second trying to get through but then Obi-Wan realizes he can shoot the control panel and get through well I mean you just walk around well this is much more exciting sir I guess so anyway then they're immediately about to be captured again but this lady tala saves them oh she does she works for the Empire but doesn't like it so she decides to help them Escape through the secret tunnel she has going okay but then freaking Darth Vader shows up so Obi-Wan decides to stall for time so Leia and tala can escape but Obi-Wan doesn't really have Force Powers anymore exactly so Darth Vader just kicks his butt and starts a fire and drags him through it oh no it's gonna be hard to get out of that situation actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yes he wants Darth Vader puts the fire out tala's gonna show up and help Obi-Wan Escape by starting a fire how does that help build Darth Vader can't get to Obi-Wan Through Fire sir but he was literally just doing that yeah so then Obi-Wan escapes all right and so since Leia is on her own she actually gets kidnapped by Riva who somehow teleported to the end of this tunnel she gets kidnapped again we're doing that again yeah second time in three episodes turns out she's very bad at not getting kidnapped sure seems that way so how did she get unkidnapped this time will Obi when Kenobi sneaks her out in this big old trench coat he's wearing and she's hiding underneath it just a guy in a massive jacket with four legs two of which are tiny and that works yes is this a cartoon again it's a cartoon again I told you that would happen from time to time right you did tell me that so Darth Vader's angry at Riva for letting them Escape but she's like sir whoa I put a tracker on Leia's toy so that's pretty cool right on the princess of alderaan's toy that's right seems like they'll probably end up on Alderaan yeah that's definitely the Final Destination but now they'll be able to track that interesting plan So eventually she manages to get all the good guys trapped Behind these big blast doors and she's having a bunch of Stormtroopers try to blast them open uh-oh but then Obi-Wan stalls a little by saying he wants to talk to her and he figures out the thing about her surviving Order 66 and then she opens the door with a lightsaber seems like she should have led with that maybe and so then they decide to team up to try to take Vader down how do they do that well she just goes ahead and tries to stab him after 10 years of planning she just goes in for a stab yes does it work no obviously no that doesn't work right that makes sense yeah so she gets stabbed with a lightsaber so she dies I'm having a big hole burned into your intestines isn't fatal in fact that grand Inquisitor guy he's alive too he was too angry to die oh okay so then there's going to be a big fight between Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi but Obi-Wan still doesn't have Force Powers oh will those come back oh they do what happens he thinks about stuff and they come back well great so Vader gets The High Ground and Barry's Obi won under some rocks and then walks away and leaves them for dead Okay does nobody take a second to verify that the person they've tried to kill is actually dead not in this particular show no oh okay and then Obi-Wan escapes and slices Vader's helmet open and they have a little chat about what well Vader's like hey I'm the one who killed Anakin Skywalker okay and he's kind of crazy happy about it wow so then Obi-Wan is like wow well okay then I guess my friend truly is dead and he walks away wait why doesn't he kill him if he truly thinks his friend is dead and this is a crazy murderous monster guy well Vader's got to be in several movies after this so it's kind of like oh it's a contract issue he's got to be in those movies right and meanwhile Reva has figured out who Luke Skywalker is how does she figure that out Well turns out bail organis and Dopey won a message being like hey I know we said no Communications but here's a detailed communication because I think maybe something happened to you why send that if you think something happened unclear so then Riva goes to kill Luke and he passes out why so that he doesn't see a lightsaber and mess up the cannon that makes sense good call but then Riva can't bring herself to kill this child so that's a nice little Redemption Arc so he's killed a bunch of Jedi for like a decade though right yeah but not the one that's the most important to the IP that does sound like a good guy moved to me and then Obi-Wan gets to meet Luke and he says hello there oh that's the thing the internet likes it sure is Sir so what do you think well I think it sounds great but I do think we should maybe slow things down after this you know I don't want people to get Star Wars fatigue oh really yeah I just think that's the best move creatively no I'm just kidding we're gonna keep turning these out till they stop making money well you got me sir [Music] so you have a Star Wars script for me yes sir I do and this one's all about a young Han Solo sounds kind of unnecessary well look at it this way aren't all movies unnecessary oh yeah that's a good point I'm sold great so what happens in the movie well Han lives on this planet karelia and he's basically a slave for a giant evil worm Crime Boss Lady Proxima oh wow she sounds interesting yeah super interesting so she's barely gonna be in it oh yeah Han's gonna expose her to sunlight and she's gonna burn and go back into the sewers but how does a giant worm that can't be exposed to sunlight run a crime syndicate from the sewers I have so many questions well that's too bad because we're moving on all right then so anyway Han's gonna try to escape with his girlfriend Kira but they're gonna get separated bummer yeah and he's gonna join the Imperial Army so he could become a pilot and go back and save her well that's nice of him and so that's how he's gonna get his name what the guy who signs him up into the Army is like do you have a people and Han's like no so the guy's like okay let's just say your last name is solo because you're alone so Han Solo wasn't his real name nope but now ever everybody's gonna know how we got it I just assumed that was his name so I don't feel any different now that I know yeah well it's an origin story so I kind of made my way through the stuff we kind of know about him and provided specific explanations for all of them once again that seems unnecessary you're unnecessary that makes me feel inferior and now I feel like I need your approval so keep going great so we're also going to provide some backstory on Hans golden dice Han has dice yeah you could kind of see them in the original trilogy and they show up in the Last Jedi well I guess I didn't realize they were that important they weren't really but we're going to provide some backstory for them that's going to blow people's minds oh yeah yeah so they're like a good luck charm or something okay so yeah that's that's what they are once again I don't feel any different now that I know that we're also going to explain how han got his Blaster oh how did that happen someone gave it to him right that makes sense and we're also going to explain why he calls Chewbacca Chewie oh why is that because he thinks Chewbacca is too long to say I feel like we had all figured that out on our own already well we're gonna spell it out well okay then so anyway then Han's gonna be in the Imperial Army for three years wow Han Solo and the Imperial Army that's going to be super interesting to see sounds pretty nuts right oh yeah so anyway we're gonna skip right past that oh we are yeah we're just gonna jump to the very tail end of it all right if you say so I do so then Han's gonna meet this guy Beckett who has a crew and they're gonna fly away from the war zone okay but before that Han's gonna get thrown into a jail pit thing and that's where he's gonna meet Chewbacca oh Chewie what's he doing there oh he's being kept as a prisoner there and also he uh kills and eats people what yeah so he's gonna try to do that to Han wow it's gonna be hard for Han to get out of that situation actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah turns out Han can speak Chewbacca's language so they become friends and Escape together how does Han speak Chewbacca's language because I wrote that in the script but when did he learn that when I wrote it in the script fair enough so anyway Han and Chewie are gonna go on a heist with Beckett and his crew to steal some hyper fuel coaxium stuff okay but it's gonna go wrong and some of Beckett's crew are gonna die like his girlfriend's gonna blow herself up Wow we must be devastated well he's barely gonna be affected by it okay then so then Beckett's gonna explain that they were actually stealing the stuff for this guy Dryden boss and he's gonna be mad okay so they're gonna go see him at this gangster place and Han's gonna run into Kira his girlfriend Kira that he's doing all of this for that's the one so his whole motivation was to get a ship and fly back to her but now she's there now she's there feels like it just messed up the emotional Drive of the movie uh whoops whoopsie so as it turns out she works for Vos now oh so earlier when you jumped forward three years that was just so she could have time to join boss's crew uh you got me I thought that was a weird time Jump like how is Han not able to get his hands on a ship for three years yeah I just needed three years to pass for the story to work yeah I see that now so boss is gonna want to kill Han and Beckett and Chewie but they're gonna be like wait we can steal a bunch of unrefined coaxium for you okay but Voss is gonna be like first of all that stuff explodes if you don't refine it fast enough and second I don't want this Trace back to me in any way right so they're like well we're not attached to you in any way so it can't be traced back to you oh that's smart yeah so that sells them on it and then he's like take my second in command Kira with you what yeah he wants her to keep an eye on things but you just said the whole thing is that he doesn't want to trace back to him that's right feels like sending his second in command is pretty traceable well I want her to be there though right but you just said that I know but I want her to be there though well okay if that's what you want it is so then they're gonna go see Lando Calrissian because they need his ship and he has this Droid companion L3 who has a wacky personality okay good I was getting worried there wasn't going to be a wacky Droid in this movie yeah and she's all about equal rights and freedom for Droids very wacky yeah and later she's gonna die and they're gonna kind of implant her Consciousness into the Millennium Falcon oh my God that's awful no it's gonna be kind of a sweet moment the Droid that was all about Freedom gets her Consciousness trapped in a ship for eternity right isn't that sweet it sounds absolutely horrifying from her perspective like the last thing she would have wanted right but we're gonna play it like it's a sweet thing they made her into a prisoner it's like something out of Black Mirror yeah it's gonna be a nice moment so anyway they're all gonna go on another Heist together very exciting and the coaxium's about to explode so they have to take a shortcut on the Hessel run oh we're going to show the Kessel Run that Han was talking about in A New Hope yeah instead of leaving it to the imagination we're going to show people exactly what happened and kind of take the mystery out of it so how did it go down well they run into a giant tentacle monster thing a giant testicle monsters are tight no I said tentacle oh and there's going to be a black hole thing and they're gonna have to escape the black hole thing and the monster it's gonna be nuts the monster lives next to a black hole Yeah I guess it does I guess my questions are why does it live there and what does it eat if nobody passes through there those are good questions thank you so anyway the characters are gonna oh you're not gonna answer the questions no I'm not so anyway the characters are gonna go bring the coaxium to Voss okay but then everyone's gonna betray each other and Becca's gonna shoot vos's guards and run away with the coaxium why wouldn't he shoot Vos too because I want Voss to stay alive for a final fight right but it doesn't make sense for Becca to shoot the guards and not him yeah but I want Vos to stay alive for a final fight well okay then so then there's a final fight and Voss dies right and then we're gonna find out that Kira is evil because she has a Skype call with Darth Maul wait what yeah he goes by mall now I'm confused so this takes place before Phantom Menace no no he didn't actually die in Phantom Menace our fans gonna get that real fans will we covered it in some animated stuff but what about everyone else and they'll figure it out he has robot legs that you could kind of make out all right well cameos are fun I guess and then Maul's gonna ignite his dual lightsaber why would he do that well the audience really liked that about him so so we're gonna show it right but he's like Skyping with Kira right yeah yeah and he just lights up his lightsaber to show her I guess huh so what do you think well I mean it's definitely a risk to make a movie about such a well-loved character well if we're not taking risks we're not doing anything worthwhile well I gotta agree with you on that one [Music] so you have a Star Wars script for me yes sir I do and this one's gonna be called Rogue one oh Rouge one I like it no Rogue one right Rouge one r-o-g-u-e Rogue exactly r-o-u-g-e but that's different from what I said yeah whatever let's hope this doesn't become a problem in comment sections online yeah I hope so so what's this movie about well you know how in the opening text crawl of a new hope there's mention of some Rebels that managed to steal some plans for the Death Star yeah so what I'd like to do is you know that as as a movie you want to make a movie about a line from a text crawl yeah everyone's been wondering how did the rebels get their hands on the plants uh have they though maybe well all right so how does it all go down well we're gonna start with this evil dude krennic who wants to force this guy Galen urso to come work on the Death Star so galen's gotta hide his wife Lyra and his daughter Jen oh so they have to rush into hiding and they could kind of take their time with it chronic lands like stupid far away how come so that the good guys can shout Exposition at each other fair enough well at least Jin's mom is gonna be with her no she's gonna die oh she is yeah instead of taking care of her daughter she's gonna go back and try to shoot a bunch of guys with a little pistol why would she do that because she's a mom in a Star Wars movie so she can't be alive for long right that makes sense so then we're gonna jump forward in time and meet this dude Cassian who shoots his friend in the back oh he's a bad guy no he's one of the main Rebel good guys oh really yeah and we're also going to meet a rebel extremist named saw Guerrera who's visited by an imperial pilot that defected why does he defect his Galen urso sent him with a message about the Death Star oh so Sai is gonna help him now sod doesn't believe him so he uses this thing called the bore gullet on him borglet yeah it's like this tentacle monster that can tell if you're lying or something but the side effect is that you lose your mind oh so it's gonna be hard for the pilot to be of any help for the rest of the movie actually super easy barely an inconvenience he doesn't lose his mind yeah someone's gonna remind him that he's a pilot in the next scene and we're never gonna talk about it again seems like a weird thing to include if it's not going to have any effect on anything yeah super weird huh so anyway jyn was raised by saw so the rebels sent her and Cassian to go to talk to him how does that go well on the way they make friends with these two guys chirot and base what's their role in the movie they bicker about the force and they're gonna flip a switch later well flipping switches is tight and so then Jin's gonna see a message from her dad and he says he built a fault into the Death Star that if you shoot it the whole thing blows up oh wow you're closing up that plot hole from A New Hope yeah that plot hole always kind of bugged me so I you know wrote an entire movie to fix it you're a little crazy aren't you yes sir I am so what happens next well everyone's gonna say the word hope so much it hurts your ears no that's fun hope and then Grandma tarkin's gonna be like wait Grandma Tarkin is in the character played by Peter Cushing that's the one you know he passed away in 1994 right yeah but you can like CGI and back to life or something right I guess is that a little unethical though that's probably fine that's probably fine so anyway the bad guys are gonna fire the Death Star at the planet Jetta where all the characters are oh so all the characters are gonna die now they're using like a less intense setting on the weapon so everyone has time to talk and fly away oh well that's nights of them yeah it is so everyone flies away everyone except saw he stays behind why would he stay behind he says he's tired of running seriously that's what we're going with seems like a weird unnatural thing to do yeah well I had to kill him off because he kind of served his purpose and having him around would cause problems oh plot convenience I get it right because later I want the rebels to not believe jyn when she tells them about the message doesn't she bring it with her no she forgot it because plot convenience gotcha so anyway they're gonna track down Jin's dad and he's gonna repeat that her nickname is Stardust because that's going to be important later okay and then he's gonna die in an explosion wait another character is gonna die in an explosion literally every character except A wisecracking robot's gonna die in an explosion you didn't feel like mixing that up a bit I did not fair enough also they're all gonna explode immediately after serving their one purpose in the movie usually flipping a switch or something that's pretty harsh yeah I mean if someone's no longer useful to me why would I keep them alive right oh you're talking about script writing right not real life uh wouldn't you like to know security secure already security anyway then we're gonna have a scene where krennic goes to see Darth Vader when he's taking a bath and then gets choked by him oh so that's like a sex scene oh God no it's like it's like a badass thing okay because the way you described it yeah no my bad that's okay and then later Jin's gonna give a big motivational speech to the rebels about getting the plans and they're gonna be like nah oh bummer but then her and some people are gonna take off in a ship anyway oh very rebellious Rebels yeah and they're gonna be asked what the name of their ship is and the Pilot's gonna be like Rogue one hey Rouge one that's the name of the movie that's right that's kind of right I love when that happens it is fun so then they're gonna go to this planet called Scarab what happens there well the main characters are gonna have to turn some important knobs and flip some important switches very exciting and then die in explosions you're really doing that explosion thing huh I am well all right then and then the rebels are gonna find out that some people went rogue so they're gonna send a bunch of ships to help out weren't they against it yeah but now that it's actually happening they're gonna do a convenient 180 on the subject that's convenient and then Jin's gonna send the plans off into space with with a big satellite and then I'm guessing she dies in an explosion yeah super big explosion wow and then Darth Vader's gonna have such a badass scene it's gonna make him seem like a pansy in the original trilogy oh really and then Leia's gonna get the plans and say the word hope one last time like a young Princess Leia yeah you can make her young with CGI right please stop making me do that all right so anyway what do you think well I think fans will love it you know I think it's gonna do great awesome although to be fair we can slap the name Star Wars on anything and it's guaranteed to be a hit that is true [Music] so you have a movie for me yes sir I do it's going to be called Star Wars and it's set in space that is where stars are this is off to a great start yeah so the ship that's a part of a rebellion is going to be bordered by some evil Soldier dudes called Stormtroopers and the big bad guy Darth Vader Darth Vader huh what's his deal well he's super strong with this thing called the force it's like this thing he can choke people with oh yeah so it's like a rope no it's like an energy type thing he can sense things with his mind he can move things with his mind okay okay so he's like a space wizard yeah kind of like a space wizard with very bad asthma I guess that's intimidating yeah and so he and the Stormtroopers capture a bunch of rebels and this Princess Leia oh Princess Leia huh tell me about her oh she's badass and beautiful as can be you know skin like Porcelain Hair like a continental breakfast what and in a later movie We're actually gonna find out that she's Darth Vader's daughter and with all his super powerful force abilities he's not able to tell that his daughter standing in front of him apparently not well okay then anyway before she was captured Leia managed to put some plans to this big Death Star space station into a Droid R2D2 okay and so R2D2 and this other whiny Droid C3PO take off in an escape pod oh so do the Storm Troopers shoot the Pod down no they're like oh there weren't any life signals on that thing so it must have just malfunctioned do they not know that droids are a thing they do they just have to be extremely Dumb In This Moment how come so the movie can happen oh okay so then these Droids land on this planet Tatooine what's going on on that planet well there's a whole lot of desert and I'm hoping that in about 30 years or so when computers start getting good we can add in a bunch of random aliens walking around what why I don't know fair enough anyway so the droids end up getting picked up and sold who did they get sold to the uncle of Luke Skywalker who's the main character oh the hero of the story yeah and his uncle tells him to clean up the Droids and he's like but I was gonna go into Toshi station and pick up some power converters oh whiny here rows are tight I like this guy already yeah so he ends up seeing this hologram message that Princess Leia left on R2D2 and he's like that's a very attractive hologram kind of a weird reaction to a cry for help a little bit yeah anyway in the recording she's like help me Obi-Wan Kenobi you're my only hope okay and so Luke is like hmm I wonder if she means old Ben Kenobi who lives around here if that is what she means this guy's horrible at picking fake names yeah not super creative so anyway then Luke is gonna get attacked by some sand people and Obi-Wan is Gonna Save him because he's a Jedi Knight which means he's super good with the force oh that worked out it did but then we find out that the place where the droids were sold got all shot up and Obi-Wan is like oh only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise oh pretty scary yeah and then Luke finds his aunt and uncle murdered oh my God he must be devastated no he's all right oh okay so he goes to Obi-Wan like I want you to train me as a Jedi because I don't have anything anymore well yeah got over those deaths real fast yeah so then they go to this Cantina where there's all these weird types because they need to find a pilot what kind of weird types are we talking we're talking a guy with chin balls a werewolf uh you know Satan oh that does sound like a bizarre mix and then they're gonna meet with this guy Han Solo and what's his deal well he's really cool and he doesn't believe in the Jedi and he has this giant bear dog best friend named Chewbacca Chewbacca yeah he actually fought alongside a Jedi master named Yoda and he always goes so Han Solo doesn't believe in the Jedi even though his best friend and partner fought alongside one that's right but we're only gonna find out about that Yoda thing like 30 years from now okay you're gonna have to stop mentioning things that'll happen 30 years from now that doesn't make any sense I mean I'll try so what else happens well then Han gets held back briefly by this guy Greedo because it turns out he owes money to this guy Jabba the Hutt okay and then they shoot at each other and Greedo gets hit oh okay so which one of them shot first I don't think it matters oh okay so anyway then Stormtroopers end up shooting at them as they leave on Han's ship oh so which one of them gets hit by these Sharpshooters nobody Stormtroopers have just the worst aim but you have Obi-Wan saying that they're super precise oh whoops whoopsie anyway so meanwhile on the Death Star the bad guys are gonna blow up Princess Leia's home planet oh my God she must be devastated oh she is for about 10 seconds oh wow these people don't have much emotion So eventually Han's ship gets picked up by the Death Star oh man it's gonna be hard for them to get out of that situation actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah they just hide under the floors on the ship as the Stormtroopers search it the Stormtroopers don't use their technology that detects life forms no I guess they forgot they had that wow and so then Han and Luke take out some Storm Troopers and steal their gear and it's just the perfect size for them oh very lucky and then they go rescue Princess Leia what happens to all the other Rebels that were captured at the same time as her I don't know fair enough and then they end up in a shootout in a hallway with some Stormtroopers and do they have good aim or bad AIM now oh bad aim from now on for sure okay just checking and then Princess Leia shoots a hole in a wall vent and they dive into a garbage compactor oh wow wow wow yeah so you know that takes care of the Stormtrooper problem can't the Stormtroopers just you know walk up to the hole and shoot them yeah but they're not going to how come because that works and meanwhile Obi-Wan Kenobi runs into Darth Vader uh-oh and he's like you're only a master of evil Darth is this first name Darth no oh and then they duel with these lightsaber swords they have oh what's that gonna be like it's gonna be like two old guys who just woke up from a nap started fighting with their canes I guess that'll be fun to watch and Obi-Wan's gonna be like if you strike me down I'll become more powerful than you could possibly imagine in what sense in the sense that if he dies he'll be able to like communicate with Luke telepathically sometimes that just sounds like he's going to turn into a very specific type of mental walkie-talkie I don't know if that's more powerful than you can possibly imagine well maybe Darth Vader doesn't have a very good imagination we don't know okay that's a good point so then the hero C Obi-Wan fighting and he sacrifices himself so they don't try to rescue him oh wow wow wow yeah and so Luke is super sad he sat her about the death of an old guy he barely knew that he was about the people that raised him that's right but he's only sad for like a minute oh these people suck at Green so then they check out the Death Star plans and it turns out there's a little vent that if you shoot it the whole thing blows up okay and then Obi-Wan uses his new mental walkie-talkie powers to tell Luke to use the force and blow up the Death Star and so yeah that works fantastic and then Han and Luke both get medals what about Chewbacca no oh very harsh and so yeah that's about it it sounds very cool I guess my one question is why would the Death Star have such a big fault built into it oh yeah I guess that is kind of a weird plot hole I guess I could find an explanation but I feel like it would take like two hours okay I mean I guess it would be pretty cool to explain it though maybe like 40 years from now I thought I asked you to stop doing that I said 40 this time oh yeah that's a good point let's do it [Music] so you have a Star Wars movie for me yes sir I do so you might have heard that Mark Hamill had a car accident and broke his nose so we're gonna have to kind of address the fact that his face is different oh way ahead of you we're gonna start the movie on this ice planet called Hoth right and then this monster is gonna you know punch him in the freaking face oh that'll do it yeah so Luke wakes up in this cave and this monster has frozen his feet to the ceiling what how did he manage that I don't know but it happens off screen so you have to accept it oh I do okay good to know anyway so Luke sees that his lightsaber conveniently fell right next to him and not outside as he was being violently dragged through the snow oh very lucky yeah so then he grabs a lightsaber using the force and frees himself while somehow not cutting off his own feet wow skills and then he cuts the monster's arm off oh great so he can finish off the monster and spend the night in the cage he sure can but instead he's gonna run outside what isn't it freezing yeah he's gonna run right out of the cave in the freezing cold at dusk is he able to keep himself warm with the force or something no not at all he passes out pretty much immediately oh but before he passes out the ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi shows up and he's like you need to go to this planet Dagobah and meet a Jedi master named Yoda who actually trained me he shows up to tell him this right before he passes out in the cold yeah he waited for this moment after three years of Silence Obi-Wan is kind of a drama queen okay and he say this Yoda guy trained him exactly except he didn't what yeah Obi-Wan's kind of a liar too oh a very sassy ghost anyway so then Han Solo shows up and stuffs Luke inside a dead camel dinosaur oh that's nice of him I guess yeah and these camel dinosaurs have warm guts so Luke is able to survive in the cold wow anyway so then back at the rebel base Leia kisses Luke because she wants to show Han she doesn't care about him oh a little love triangle huh that's cool that's like a relatable human story Oh you mean relatable as in I should have them be related no that's not what I meant at all I mean I guess they can be related if that's what you're into it's not I didn't write the reveal in the next movie you weirdo oh no anyway so the Empire finds out about this rebel base and they attack with these giant atat things what are those they're these giant things that walk super slowly and can only shoot directly in front of them oh it doesn't sound like a very effective weapon oh they're very effective against enemies that are directly in front of them so the rebels just don't attack them from the front oh no they do oh they do yeah so a bunch of them get killed and they're trying to shoot these things down but they have these big shields uh-oh but then they tie them up and make them fall and then when they shoot them they explode the shields don't work anymore when they're on the ground apparently not well great so then Han and Leia try to escape but their hyper Drive isn't working so they have to play hide and seek for you know the whole movie oh really and at the same time Luke takes off with R2D2 to go to Dagobah he doesn't have any problems escaping none whatsoever so anyway he gets to this planet and it's just a big swamp and that's where he meets Yoda and what's Yoda's deal well he's tiny and green and he says his words in like a backwards order why because oh okay so after some convincing Yoda agrees to train Luke to be a Jedi oh what kind of training are we talking we're talking front flips climbing things lifting things with his mind uh some more flips a lot of flips oh being a Jedi requires a lot of flipping it sure does so anyway after a couple of days of doing flips and a swamp with a puppet Luke has a vision that his friends are in trouble so he's like I gotta go okay and Yoda's like no you better not go and even Obi-Wan shows up to be like yeah no you need to finish your flippy training with this puppet who trained me but also no he didn't oh so what does Luke do well he decides to ignore the puppet of The Ghost and he takes off oh ignoring ghosts is tight that's what I do all the time with a disembodied ghost head that lives in my office what are you talking about there's a ghost that lives in here uh nope there's nope there's not well okay then so anyway then Han and Leia go meet Lando Calrissian who's an old friend of Hans okay and he acts all friendly but it turns out the Empire got there a couple of minutes before Han and Leia so they get captured and Han Solo gets frozen in carbonite oh no and then Luke shows up but it quickly becomes clear that he has not done enough flippy training Darth Vader overpowers him yeah he cuts his hand off oh man you love when people get their arms and hands cut off don't you yeah I do I just had to write that in there very weird anyway so then Luke is like Obi-Wan said you killed my father Invaders like no I am your father oh Luke I am your father that's a great quote that's not the quote though it's no I am your father Luke I am your father I love it okay whatever so anyway then Luke is like you know no right and by now he's out on this thing with nothing below him but a huge drop oh man it's gonna be tough for him to get out of that situation actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience who said that I mean they are right it is going to be that oh really yeah he just lets himself fall and he happens to land in a fun slide thing oh they should call him Lando am I right that's not funny okay anyway so then Luke is hanging from a thing in the sky right and he uses his brain Force walkie-talkie to ask Leia for help oh wow that's a whole lot of convenience it's a whole lot of force usage sounds like the same thing from a writing perspective yeah it's the same thing wow and so yeah that's it what do you mean that's it that's that's it it's over but Han is still frozen in carbonite and Darth Vader is still out there does this movie not have an ending no not really people are just gonna have to come see episode six in a couple of years episode six what do you talking about this is the second movie of the first Trilogy which is technically the second Trilogy because after this we could do a Trilogy taking place before this and after that we could do a Trilogy taking place after this oh I'm very confused trilogy trilogy I mean okay yeah I mean we need to make a bunch of these movies right now in the 80s before people lose interest in this Star Wars fad yeah true I guess people won't really be into this franchise Beyond this decade [Music] so you have a Star Wars sequel for me yes sir I do so Lucas concocted this amazing plan to save Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt oh amazing so what's his plan it's pretty straightforward they send in Leia in a disguise with Chewbacca as a prisoner okay then Luke sends a hologram of himself via C3PO and R2D2 and gives them as a gift right also Lando's infiltrated the places like a guard and Luke also goes in person and gets thrown into a monster pit is it sounding like a lot then he has Leia unfreeze Han and everybody gets caught so they all get brought out for execution where R2 shoots Luke's lightsaber over to him and he saves the day it feels like this plan could and should go wrong in a thousand different ways yeah well it doesn't it goes exactly to plan how did he know that was all gonna work like what if they just took R2 apart right away for Scratch uh the force I don't think you could just use the force as an excuse we're gonna have to address the fact that Luke's plan is insane Princess Leia is going to be in a gold bikini along the way plan's probably fine as is great so what else happens oh well Boba Fett is back oh people love that guy for some reason so what's he gonna do bounce off a wall like a cartoon character and die immediately oh my God yeah so that's all done geez so anyway then Luke goes to Dagobah to finish his training with Yoda oh and Yoda's there making himself some food but when Luke shows up he's like oh you know what I think I'm gonna die actually oh he's just gonna die when Luke shows up yeah but before he dies he's like Luke to finish your training and become a full Jedi you have to go confront Darth Vader but wait in the last movie he was like you can't go confront Vader until you finish your training oh whoops whoopsy yeah so tell the opposite now well yeah total 180. so then Luke has a chat with Obi-Wan's ghost and he's like hey you told me my dad was dead but then I found out that Darth Vader is my father so what's up oh calling him out on his lie yeah but then Obi-Wan's like well from a certain point of view I wasn't lying oh man such a sassy ghost the sassiest ghost and so Luke also finds out that Leia is his sister wow so that kiss they shared is real weird now it sure is so Luke tells her that they're related and she talks about how she remembers their mom and how beautiful she was oh so Leia grew up with their mom no their mom died at childbirth from being too sad what yeah pretty dramatic way to go right so how does he remember her mom if she saw her for like a minute when she was like a minute old I don't know oh impossible baby memories are tight anyway so the big threat in this movie is that the Empire is building another Death Star oh I bet they're not leaving in that little Port where if you shoot it the whole thing explodes no they definitely don't include that wow so it's going to be tough to find a way to destroy this one actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah see they don't have the port anymore but they do have this tunnel that leads to a reactor that if you shoot it the whole thing explodes they are very bad at making these things yeah they are wow anyway so the good guys find out that there's a shield generator for this thing on this Forest planet called Endor oh and how do they find out about this Shield generator oh well actually we're gonna find out that the evil emperor is the one who leaked the information so he could Ambush them oh so we just sent them to a random location or to a decoy oh no he sent them to the actual one what if it was a lie why not lie about the whole thing I don't know but he's also the one who leaked the information about the death star's new weakness oh okay I see and so that part is fake and even if they attack it it's not going to blow up oh no that's real too what is going on well if he gave them fake Intel they wouldn't have a chance at winning wouldn't that be what he would want yeah but that's not what I want I want the heroes to stand a chance and for them to stand a chance he had to make the emperor an idiot that's right well okay then so anyway the rebels get all camo'd up and head into the forest oh yeah I guess they really need to blend in with the surroundings huh yeah and C-3PO is all like wait they dress in camouflage but they bring a Big Shiny Gold robot with them that's right so then the main characters get captured by these super cute merchandising opportunities oh I like the sound of them yeah and they think that C-3PO is like a golden God but they want to cook and eat everybody else oh so does C-3PO just tell them to stop no he says it's against his programming to impersonate a God so he can't tell them what to do so how's he gonna help that he's gonna wait a couple minutes then tell them what to do oh okay yeah so anyway then there's gonna be this big battle on Endor in this big battle in space gonna go see Darth Vader to be like hey do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and savior the light side of the force how does that go oh not well at first Darth Vader brings him to see the emperor and they have this very uncomfortable conversation that leads to the emperor trying to kill Luke with lightning oh no yeah it's pretty rough but then Darth Vader steps in to save his son and Chucks the emperor over the railing ah he became a good guy he did and so then Darth Vader is dying and we get to see him without his helmet oh wow what does he look like I'm gonna say mashed potatoes oh not what I was expecting but okay anyway so then Luke escapes off the new Death Star just before it explodes and the Rebels win wow very cool yeah so they're gonna have this big party with the merchandising opportunities and then Luke's gonna see the force ghosts of Yoda and Obi-Wan and of Anakin Skywalker he sees Darth Vader's Force ghost he does it's gonna be a very sweet moment but doesn't that mean that technically Palpatine is also still out there as a force ghost no I feel like it does though he's gonna come back isn't he [Music] so you have a new Star Wars show for me yes sir I do so we're gonna follow Mando right Mando huh that's what I call my love vandals well please stop doing that sir cause Mando showed for Mandalorian and he's this badass Mandalorian Bounty Hunter oh very cool yeah and this client sends him after this target that he wants alive or dead but this target turns out to be a very valuable merchandising opportunity oh yeah it turns out it's a baby Yoda wait a baby Yoda oh my God oh my God what was that what happened your eyes they had like it was like dollar signs in them what do you mean there were dollar signs in your eyes like where my pupils are like in front of them I think it was in front of it was dollar signs that's not possible that's what it was I mean you heard that cha-ching noise right that wasn't just me I did did it hurt I mean it was uncomfortable for sure am I dying I don't know uh can you hold on for a second please I guess yeah okay what do you mean by dollar signs in my eyes it made like a cash register noise that's not possible medically it happened you know Mr Producer guy it's not uncommon for people to create imaginary scenarios to deal with overwhelming information it wasn't imaginary I have a witness and this witness you trust them and their ability to see I mean he has glasses but huh it happened uh-huh I was uh working outside and a uh I remember a pretty woman walking past and I'm told that my eyes just kind of shot out of my head and my jaw dropped in a way that should have dislocated it wow and I made this a Wooga sound as if I was some kind of horn and for the longest time I felt insane and I've been working on myself and I'm starting to accept that maybe that's something my body does when I see a pretty woman you know and maybe that's okay you know that's so true and I want to thank you for sharing that with the group um Mr Producer guy would you would you like to share your story with with us um yeah hi my name is producer guy and uh I heard about I guess a merchandising opportunity that would make me just a ridiculous sum of money and my eyes just kind of behaved like a cash register and I don't know what to do with that you know I feel like I'm going crazy I don't know what's wrong with me um you know if I may it sounds like maybe you just really like money huh yeah yeah I guess I do and you know maybe sometimes that manifests itself physically and maybe that's okay yeah you know what that is okay isn't it yeah it is I have to go go on get out of here all right I'm back oh good yeah I went on a little journey of self-discovery turns out I'm okay with the fact that I Love Money Great Character growth sir although I'm pretty sure we already knew that about you yeah I've been standing here for three days waiting for you to come back amazing used to your garbage can as a bathroom uh using my garbage bin as a bathroom is tight so what else happens in the show right okay so Mando is with this Droid who wants to kill baby Yoda because he's like listen the Bounty orders were quite clear I thought it was to bring him back Dead or Alive God I don't know anymore you've been gone for days okay sorry geez so anyway Mando kills the Droid and saves baby Yoda and so throughout the show he's gonna become kind of a father figure very adorable so Mando goes to a planet right because he's got to get a thing but he's got to make a deal with some individuals in order to get it and help them face some threat they're facing okay so then he's gonna do that and get slightly betrayed hacked but it's going to work out in the end and he's going to get the thing he needs and baby Yoda's gonna do cute stuff the whole time I like the sound of that right so times eight times eight yeah times eight or well for two seasons it'd be times 16. what are you talking about the formula sir that's the show pretty much every episode just so many side quests oh so what do you think well I mean I mean that sounds good could I get more details though I guess if you really need them what kind of enemies are they gonna go up against oh a whole bunch of enemies Mando's gonna get shot at a lot uh-oh but pretty much by Stormtroopers who don't know how to aim and when he does get hit well his armor makes him pretty much Invincible oh not a whole lot of serious threats then guess not but at the end of the first season we're gonna meet this big bad guy moff Gideon and he really wants baby Yoda because he has Jedi Powers oh yeah how we're gonna meet him we'll see Mando's in a building talking to that client that had hired him to kill baby Yoda and a bunch of Stormtroopers okay and then out of nowhere moff Gideon's gonna have his man open fire and kill his own men and trap Mando inside inside this building why well because he's given them till Sundown to surrender if moth Gideon already had men inside with Mando why did he kill those men and then give the good guys time to plan and Escape because the good guys need time to figure out an escape plan or their show is over that makes sense anyway so then there's going to be a big fight and Mando's gonna get so hurt he's going to have to take his helmet off is that a problem yeah because see he's not allowed to take his helmet off in front of another living thing that's part of his Creed With Arms Wide Open what that's my Creed obviously not relevant to what I was talking about so he's gonna take his helmet off in front of this reprogrammed Droid that he had killed but he doesn't like droids okay so that's gonna be a big learning point for him you know it's okay to fully put your faith in artificial intelligence or Disney plus algorithm has been suggesting we start pushing that kind of message right kind of aggressively now that I think about it nothing to worry about there sir so Mando's eventually going to learn that he needs to bring baby Yoda to a Jedi so it can be trained okay so in the second season he's gonna try to find one and do every single side quest he can along the way like what oh for example he's gonna meet this Marshall that's wearing Mandalorian armor so he wants to get it back right so he strikes a deal where if he helps this guy kill this big monster that's bugging the town he'll give him the armor back very exciting but then at the end of the episode we're gonna see Boba Fett watching them turns out it's his armor he's from the other thing he sure is Sir amazing and so he's gonna follow Mando around because he wants to confront him and get his armor back wouldn't it have been easier for him to get it off of that Marshall guy instead of a Mandalorian warrior hey shut up and Mando's also going to meet some characters from The Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels oh boy what are they gonna do same thing as Boba Fett sir show off some cool action scenes and promote their own Disney Plus shows I like the way you think thanks sir so at another Point Manda wants to get some plans to locate moth Gideon's Cruiser and he's got to team up with this ex-imperial Mayfield and what kind of creature is he he's a Bostonian oh I love science fiction so they're the only two that can go to this term terminal because everybody else in their squad is on the bad guy's radar and this machine scans your face it scans your face yeah so Mando's got to take his helmet off which is a pretty big deal and it scans his face and he gets the coordinates hey was that machine just checking to see if he had a face yeah you know I guess to make sure he's not a robot or like a known enemy so as long as you have a face and you're not a known enemy you can access the bad guy information that's what we're going with So eventually there's going to be this big Showdown against moth Gideon and he has these crazy droids called Dark Troopers yeah and these things are nuts I mean Mando struggled to survive against one of them and then there's a bunch of them that they're about to come face to face with sounds like it's gonna be hard to get out of that situation actually it's going to be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah cause he freaking Luke Skywalker is gonna show up and Destroy them all he's from all of it he sure is Sir amazing I was starting to get concerned that this Star Wars project wasn't going to be about the Skywalkers in some way well it is Sir and then there's going to be a very sad moment because Mando's got to leave baby Yoda to go be trained by Luke well that is sad but the important thing is I'm gonna make so much money off baby Yoda merch yeah I actually wanted to talk to you about that I thought it might be nice if we could hold off on creating baby Yoda merch just for a while just to make sure there aren't any leaks and the fans can really be surprised to the pilot what but money but a cool and surprising experience for the fans but but my money but the experience this goes against everything in my nature but but okay there's some character growth sir [Music] so you have a new Star Wars show for me yes sir I do it's gonna be about this badass space bounty hunter in Mandalorian armor dealing with bad guys that's okay we already have that show yeah no that's true but this one would be about Boba Fett oh people love that character and that thing he did in the original trilogy where he was you know briefly in it oh yeah it was like an origin story or something because he fell into a sarlacc pit and died oh well no actually see he didn't die at the beginning of this we find out he survived wow how do you get out of the sarlacc pit by getting out of it that makes sense actually that was a good strategy on his part yeah so it seems like his armor helped him survive but then some jowas steal it from him and leave him for dead freaking Jawas and then he gets picked up by some Tuscan Raiders freaking Tuscan Raiders no he actually ends up becoming friends with them oh he does yeah so see the show's actually gonna follow Boba Fett and his new role as a Crime Boss on Tatooine right right but whenever he takes a dip in a bacta tank we're gonna see flashback Dreams and Nightmares and stuff of him bonding with the tuscans oh watching an older man have nightmares while bathing is tight okay and so what kind of important stuff are we learning from these flashbacks a little baby lizard latched on to his brain stem and so he walked around and got a cool branch and made it into a pointy stick with his new friends oh all right so now he's got a pointy stick and he's learned the value of friendship or something anyway all his friends die oh my God we're also gonna flash back to when he saved fennec Shan's life and asked for her help help to do what to go back inside the sarlacc pit to get his armor he wants his armor back and you say he crawled out of the sarlacc pit with his armor in the first episode oh yeah whoopsy so anyway they become friends and go to become crime bosses on Tatooine what kind of crimes are they gonna do not a single one oh okay yeah they mostly walk around town trying to get people to respect them but nobody does because there's like four of them yeah that's a pretty tiny Crime Boss team but at a certain point they're gonna hire this young gang of cool looking cyborgs and what's their deal well they look like they're from Back to the Future too and they have these very colorful Vespa Scooter things it doesn't feel like it fits with the vibe or look of Tatooine at all yeah but Counterpoint colors are fun to look at I like to look at them that is a good point I like purple so they're gonna have this big old chasing with the mayor's assistant it's gonna be super slow paced very exciting wait did you say slow pace I may find out the mayor's working with these bad guys called the Pikes yeah so there's a war coming it down oh boy anyway so then Mando's gonna be trying to use that dark saber he has but he's not super good at it wait Mando okay you know din Jaron played by Pedro Pascal so anyway he's gonna be hold on that's that's a different show that's the Mandalorian yeah we'll see I was getting kind of bored and I really like the Mandalorian so I figure we do a couple episodes of that show where's Boba Fett gonna be that doesn't matter he'll be off screen doing something or other what's the show called again the book of Boba Fett but he's not in several of the episodes yeah no he's uh baby Yoda will be though oh my little green money baby and freaking Luke Skywalker too who sometimes looks like a real person nice anyway so we're going to spend a solid 20 minutes on Mando putting together a new ship why because he needs a new ship all right and then Luke's gonna give baby Yoda a choice you know either continue your Jedi training with me or go back with the Mandalorian what does he choose oh he chooses to go back with Mando because he likes him a lot so the whole main storyline of the first two seasons of the Mandalorian trying to get this baby Yoda to a Jedi that's just kind of undone in two episodes of a different show yes well okay then so then finally Mando joins Boba Fett and it's time for war against the Pikes oh boy so Boba Fett is like well I guess we could go set up in this bunker type thing that I have but then one of the cyborg kids is like no we're gonna stand up and fight right here in the busy part of town where all the people are that doesn't make any sense so Boba Fett's like yeah okay that sounds good it doesn't though yeah well that's going to be kind of a recurring thing in this show Boba Fett's gonna order people to do stuff and they're gonna be like no and he's gonna be like okay really yeah so then there's this big old war on the streets of Tatooine oh wow wow wow wow wow one of the cyborg kids going to do a little spin move before shooting it's going to look very cool possibly why would he do that because maybe it'll look cool it might I don't know what tactical Advantage does doing a little spin give them well now it'll be uh I don't know dizzy I guess before aiming listen sir he's gonna do a spin move all right I'm gonna need you to get all the way off my back about it okay let me get off of that little thing of yours and then there are going to be these big droids with massive Shields and they start firing all over the place and everybody's shooting at these shields but they're impenetrable so I bother shooting unclear and so Boba Fett is like these Droids are gonna destroy the city if we don't stop them yeah man well it sounds like that's going to be hard to do actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really you see he goes to get this big old Rancor that he knows and learned how to ride off screen and this thing starts destroying the city I guess that's helpful and with the help of the rancor they get those freaking Shields down ah so now everybody can fire on the droids yeah but no they're gonna stop shooting the droids at this point now that the Shields are down what why unclear and so then Boba Fett's gonna have a big Showdown with CAD Bane who's CAD Bane oh he's like the big bad guy of the show we're going to introduce him in like the before the last episode I feel like if you want this showdown to have any weight you should maybe introduce him earlier and spend some time building up this rivalry of theirs oh fans of the Clone Wars know this is a pretty big deal what about other people no maybe we should there's just there's not really time for it sir but we're gonna spend two episodes with the Mandalorian yeah and 20 minutes of one of those episodes is him building a ship that he wants okay but maybe we cut down a little on that stuff and spend more time building up the protagonist and the antagonist no oh okay and so Boba Fett wins and now he's a good guy with a heart of gold that's all right that's not really Boba Fett's deal just an old softy who has dreams in his bathtub and goes around town suggesting things and then just doing whatever the other person wants to do all right so what do you think well listen I think it sounds like some content for sure it is yeah and I mean if we have the Mandalorian and baby Yoda in the finale I don't see how people could not like it [Music] you said you had a new Star Wars script to pitch me yes sir and I know you bought lucasfilm for four billion dollars so there's a lot riding on this yeah we really have to find a way to capture the essence of the original trilogy I mean I know that's going to be tough actually super easy barely an inconvenience really yeah well I figure we can just redo some of the stuff from A New Hope redo stuff can can we get away with that yeah well not like a lot of stuff maybe just have like a force sensitive lead character from a desert planet that dreams of a better life some incredibly important information stored in a lovable Droid a powerful bad guy with a mask and a red lightsaber and a bad temper a Cantina full of questionable characters and Strange Music the main female character getting captured and brought into a giant star base that can destroy planets followed by a rescue mission to get her out and then if there's time a bunch of ships that get sent on trench runs to hit a weak point on the base and blow it up the lightsaber death of an old Mentor figure witnessed by the lead character just a couple of things like that oh people won't be mad about us copying minor stuff like that right no I think if we call it fan service we'll be good that's a good point so tell me about the new characters oh this is gonna blow your mind one of the main characters is named Finn he's a Storm Trooper but Stormtroopers are evil that's what's amazing about this Finn realizes that killing innocent people is bad and he doesn't want to do it that's really good that's going to humanize Stormtroopers exactly they used to be these disposable things in Star Wars and now it's like these are people these are real people with real emotions and feelings right and Stormtroopers didn't choose this life like they were put into this at Birth it really makes you see Stormtroopers in a new light so how does Finn Escape oh well he kills a bunch of Stormtroopers and gets away oh cool yeah he and Poe have like a little Stormtrooper murder Rampage Poe oh yeah Poe is this awesome resistance pilot and also an opportunity for us to pull a Dumbledore if we want hola Dumbledore yeah that's when you wait a couple of years to reveal a character's sexual orientation oh yeah there's kind of maybe a thing between him and Finn we we hint at it interesting and then there's Raymond oh who's he no she is the big star of this movie and her name is Raymond Raymond yeah you don't like it I'm not crazy about it okay uh I ran that by everybody in the office but and Everybody Loves Raymond everybody He Loves Raymond okay look tell you what I'll shorten it to Ray yeah that's better and maybe change the a to an E sure thanks that that feels better so anyway Rey is the new hero of the franchise I'm listening when we meet her she's like super resourceful and has all these skills and she's gonna lose everything and have to go through big changes no she's just gonna kind of realize that she has other skills too oh so instead of having a character Arc no it's more of a character just upwards line very interesting and what's her backstory oh we're barely gonna talk about it so everybody could come up with theories smart and then there's kylo Ren he's the son of Han Solo and Princess Leia and he's evil really what's his deal well he wants to be just like his grandpa Vader and he has these really intense temper tantrums oh you know what I can picture him already you have some ideas for casting yeah so you know that show Girls yeah yeah that show that's all about women and real takes on their stories and their lives exactly so I'm thinking of the guy from that show oh so the big breakout star from girls can be the guy from girls Adam Driver he'd be perfect I'm all for it now tell me about the story what actually happens in the movie right so everybody's trying to find Luke Skywalker because he's the only Jedi left he's the Last Jedi yeah I like the sound of that remind me of that later yeah sure thanks so anyway there's an important part of this map that probably leads to him that's being kept inside this little Droid called bb8 what's he look like imagine if a salad bowl fell upside down on a soccer ball and for some reason you wanted to hug it that's going to sell a lot of toys oh for sure so bb-8 ends up alone on this planet called jakku jakku basically tattooing oh yeah and then there's kind of a string of coincidences and that leads us to the end of the movie coincidences oh yeah a lot like what well bb-8 happens to stumble upon Rey who happens to be Force sensitive and Finn happens to have his little Spiritual Awakening when they capture bb-8's owner Poe so he helps him Escape because he needs a pilot and then they happen to get separated during a crash on jakku and then Finn happens to put on his jacket so bb-8 can happen to point him out and then they escape in a ship that happens to be the Millennium Falcon and Rey happens to be a world-class pilot and then almost immediately they happen to get picked up by its owner Han Solo who also happens to be the father of the big bad guy and have happens to bring them to see someone who happens to have Luke Skywalker's lightsaber which happens to have a huge connection with Rey because she happens to have Force Powers so when she gets captured by kylo Ren she happens to realize she has powers that help her escape and then the resistance blows up the big bad guy base because it happens to have a big weak spot that they happen to know about because Finn used to be a janitor there and Rey doesn't kill kylo Ren or vice versa no the ground happens to open up between them and they can't finish fighting doesn't that all feel a little too convenient yeah but I think we could chalk it up to like the will of the force or whatever okay you don't think people will buy it well maybe just to be safe we can distract people with random cameos that could work who would you get uh just off the top of my head Maybe foreign stuff set up from the force awakens that we have to pay off in this movie so let's start with snoke what do you have planned for snoke sure well you know how he was this dark ominous hologram figure yeah well in episode 8 we're gonna see him in person and he's gonna be more of like a disfigured old Playboy he is yeah and he has like a really flashy gold robe on it looks like what they probably give you if you rent a suite at a Trump Hotel interesting yeah so overall he looks like a Hugh Hefner fell face first down An Elevator Shaft and then they did their best and so do we find out more about him as a character oh yeah definitely so you know how in the first movie it was like who is this guy what's his deal yeah well in this movie we confirm that he's like an evil guy oh okay saving him for a bigger role in episode nine no he dies he does yeah kylo Ren Cuts him in half wow do you think the fans are going to be disappointed or what do you mean well I mean we kind of baited fans for two years with questions like who's snoke and now he's dead right that's what makes it so surprising oh true I didn't think of it that way plus it gives more weight to the reveal of raise parents oh yeah about that they are nobody oh really yeah kylo Ren says he saw it in a vision so that they're dead they're nobody is he telling the truth no I don't know we're just gonna kind of gloss over it okay so what about the other big Cliffhanger what's that well at the end Rey is handing Luke his lightsaber back it's like a huge moment oh yeah well he just tosses it over his shoulder like garbage oh yeah and then he squeezes some boobs and goes fishing who's boobs just this big alien sea cow with four boobs a big alien sea cow with four boobs yeah and then the alien sea cow with four boobs looks at Ray like you've seen this so we're really taking all the stuff that the force awakens set up and just throwing it out the window pretty much yeah but here's the thing I don't think JJ actually had answers to those questions what makes you say that well I mean you've seen lost true okay I see what you're saying yeah so I figure let's just kind of wipe the Slate clean fair enough let the past die kill it if you have to oh yeah yeah I like that can I can I add that in sure thanks and oh actually there is one big question we are going to answer in here what's that how does kylo ren look without a shirt on uh is that was that was that was that a big question don't tell me you've never wondered I no no I don't think I have well the answer is surprisingly good well okay yeah dude works out so what else happens in the movie oh well there's a really powerful scene where kylo Ren with his shirt on is gonna kill his mom Leia like he killed his father exactly but at the last second he stops himself wow but then it's too late Leia's command post is hit by another ship from the first order incredible yeah and we see her body floating through space and it's a really beautiful end for the character because you should ever fly back what Leia have her fly back like Mary Poppins um but how you know Mary Poppins yeah yeah I know Mary Poppins have her fly back like Mary Poppins but how she uses the force I don't know okay I mean I don't really have plans for her for the rest of the movie but she could be in a coma it's cool yeah no sure I'll have her fly back like Mary Poppins awesome thanks I I really like Mary Poppins you're welcome so I'm still not getting exactly what this movie is about okay well basically imagine a car chase Yes sounds exciting now imagine that chase was happening in space and really slowly right so basically that's it the first order is waiting for the resistance to run out of fuel so they can blow them up that doesn't sound super thrilling it's not and also the resistance can't go light speed because the first order can track them now so they just kind of they just kind of float around for the whole movie so then Finn and this new character Rose go on a super long side quest that doesn't work it doesn't work at all not even a little and they go to this casino City and they see like slave children and slave animals oh that's awful yeah and they managed to free the animals so they're like you know what no matter what happens this was worth it not the slave children no they're still slaves and what's the deal with this Rose character why is she in this well she's there so Finn can have someone to say funny things to right makes sense also at the end of the movie Finn is gonna make this amazing self-sacrifice and save the day and she swoops in and stops him why because she wanted a little kiss oh that's cute I guess yeah and it really comes out of nowhere because there was no romantic chemistry there whatsoever and she stops him from saving the day doesn't that put everybody's lives in danger it does I mean Luke shows up and saves the day but she didn't know that was gonna happen and what about some of the other characters what about bb-8 well bb-8 is now a superhero really yeah he's basically the best fighter in the movie wow what about uh Captain phasma oh well I thought she was really underused in the first movie agreed so I did that again oh yeah and also she dies wow but we do find out her armor is like really strong like Blaster proof how come only she has that armor and not all the Stormtroopers I don't know and Rey yeah she gets a lot stronger in this movie with little to no training or struggle it's like the classic hero's journey but you cut out all the middle stuff exactly uh what else happens we have R2D2 and C-3PO they both show up and they're like hey hey we're in this fan service and also there's a purple haired vice admiral that keeps secrets for no reason and kylo Ren and Rey slide into each other's Force DMS okay now let's talk merchandise okay you mentioned bb-8 but I feel like we need something new to sell toys yeah makes sense I know it's going to be tough to come up with something that people just blindly throw money at actually super easy barely an inconvenience really yeah just what are what are two creatures that people find cute I don't know uh seals and Penguins perfect I'll mix those two together and put a bunch of them on Luke's Island are you gonna incorporate them into the plot somehow no okay this is fun what else can we come up with okay uh what are some amazing gifts you'd surprise your wife with I don't know maybe a puppy or some jewelry okay so how about [Music] foreign so you have a Star Wars sequel for me yes sir I do so in the opening text crawl we're gonna find out that Palpatine is alive again and he sent out a transmission to everybody oh Palpatine is back how is that possible well the dark side is a pathway to many abilities some would consider unnatural oh very vague what does that mean it means get all the way off my back about this and don't bring it up again oh okay let me get off of that thing so it turns out he was pulling the strings this whole time like he created snoke seriously yep we just we didn't see him because he was in a basement with strobe lights it's so strange that we never hinted at this at all whatsoever in any way yeah pretty crazy but this was this was always the plan was it though I mean I mean yeah I wouldn't start a Trilogy without a road map you know I wouldn't I didn't do that well okay then so what happens in this thing well you know how in The Last Jedi we found out that Rey's parents or nobody right yeah between that and the broom kid it seemed like maybe we were going for like a hopeful message like the force can be with anyone you don't have to be related well it turns out that Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter oh she is yeah yeah pretty cool right so that means that Palpatine has gotten you know intimate oh my God yeah no I guess it does oh no oh no no no no no oh I'm picturing it so am I and I hate it do it uh he for sure said that okay maybe we can move on I would literally love nothing more so what happens in the movie well the good guys want to get to Palpatine but to do that they need to get a thing okay but to get that thing they're gonna have to go to a place and get another thing and go to another place and get another thing okay it kind of sounds like a lot of fetch quests like in a video game well people love video games that's a good point video games make money so where do they go well they go to Burning Man and they meet Lando Calrissian remember he's from the other movies he is and he's like I have a bad feeling about this he says the thing he says it and then the good guys are gonna get chased by storm troopers and end up in a tunnel uh oh that's not good actually it is because they find a dagger that's a clue to the exact thing they're looking for oh wow what are the odds of ending up in that exact spot after a Chase astronomical but this is space so that's okay can't argue with that so anyway then Rey heals a giant snake and they get out of there she heals snake what are you talking about well you can heal people and animals by giving them some life force or something I decided oh suddenly deciding that the force can do things is tight it is so anyway this dagger has Sith writing on it that only C-3PO can understand but he can't translate why because of his programming but actually why to extend the plot a little okay gotcha so they need to go to this other planet to translate it but Chewie gets captured oh no yeah and he's been taken away on a ship but Rey accidentally blows it up oh my God she kills Chewbacca that's such a powerful shocking moment I can't believe it well that's good because it doesn't actually happen What well I want this film to have impactful moments but I don't really want to deal with the actual impact so I'll usually you know undo them immediately oh really yeah so Chewbacca blows up but it turns out he was on another ship so it's okay okay C-3PO has his memory wiped and has to say bye to his friends but R2 has a backup so it's okay wow Ray stabs kylo Ren but then heals him so it's okay could have been an interesting one a planet blows up with the characters we know get off it somehow so it's okay wow so not really many consequences lenses at all well when Luke said no one's ever really gone in the last movie I really took that to heart as you know a storytelling device yeah sure seems that way yeah so both Luke and Han are gonna come hang out a bit too sure why not so anyway then they're gonna go to another planet to meet a Power Ranger that Poe used to date and a little alien dude named Babu Frick oh what's his deal oh well he's just the cutest little merchandising opportunity I love it so then they go rescue Chewie and they get helped by hux because it turns out he's a spy now oh interesting it'll be cool to see how that plays out through the movie oh no he dies right away oh he does yeah we'll see in The Last Jedi we turned him into a little baby boy so I had to replace him with somebody intimidating if you say so I do so then the good guys go to another planet and discover that the dagger points at a thing they need to get to go to a place what the dagger tells them where to go yeah it turns out that somebody made this thing so if you stand in a very specific spot and pointed at the Death Star wreckage it shows you where you need to go and they just happen to be standing in that specific spot and they just happen to be standing in that specific spot wow wow wow so then Ray finds this GPS thing that she needs but then she's grunted by an evil version of herself for about 10 seconds why does that happen so we can show it in the trailer that's smart so then Rey and kylo ren have a fight and Finn is also there for some reason oh yeah what's Finn up to in this movie well he's gonna be there for sure that sounds good to me he's also going to meet some other ex-st Stormtroopers that defected too oh that's good driving home the fact that Stormtroopers are like real people you know exactly and Finn's also gonna kill a bunch of Stormtroopers oh he is yeah he's pretty good at it now but I guess he has no choice right so it's like a somber moment when he has to do it I don't know he shouts Wu a lot when he kills them wow I don't know how this guy feels about Stormtroopers unclear sir he also has a big secret he's about to tell Ray when he thinks they're gonna die oh what is it I don't know fair enough and what about Rose what about her well I mean she was a major player in the last movie her and Finn kissed at the end of it right yeah but she has to study so she has to study I mean she would have gone on the adventure but she has like a lot of studying to do well okay then and what about Maz Kanata are we gonna get answers answers about what well in the force awakens Han asks how she got Luke's lightsaber neighbor and she was like good question for another time oh yeah well that is a good question for sure yeah but like probably best for another time did you forget to pay that off I forgot to pay that off that's okay it happens I mean a lot so anyway then Rey's gonna go confront Palpatine on this planet called exigo okay and the resistance are gonna fight a massive Fleet of Star Destroyers how did Palpatine build so many Star Destroyers and and staff them by being off screen for several movies that works for me so what ends up happening on testicle exigo what did I say well Palpatine is like you know Ray if you kill me my spirit's gonna take over your body I guess that can be a thing and then Ben shows up and Palpatine's like ooh a force dyad a force dyad a force Diane so then he turns into a dementor and starts sucking the life out of them so stuff is just kind of happening huh stuff's just kind of happening so then he throws Ben off a cliff thing uh-oh and then everything's just going awful I mean there are way too many enemies in the space battle oh man it's gonna be tough for the resistance to win now actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah because he just went it seems like all hope is lost Falcon's gonna be like on your left and a bunch of Heroes show up what sorry Lando's gonna be like we're here and a bunch of Heroes show up oh very cool and then Palpatine's gonna use lightning to attack Rey and he's gonna be like I am all the sick wow wow wow wow and then Tony's gonna be like and I am Iron Man what sorry Ray's gonna be like and I am all the Jedi I love it yeah so he's shooting lightning at her and she's blocking it with a lightsaber yeah yeah and they're struggling but then she uses two lightsabers and that does the trick he gets hit with his own lightning couldn't he have just stopped shooting the lightning yeah but he doesn't that's kind of his thing it does seem to be that guy zaps himself a lot so then Rey dies oh okay but then it turns out Ben isn't dead because falling off of things doesn't really mean anything in Star Wars right and then he transfers some Life Force to Rey so she wakes up wow they should kiss what they should have a little kissy kiss well I don't really know that there was like a romantic make them kiss okay yeah so they kiss and and then he dies oh he dies well yeah he transferred the last of his life force to her oh so she can like transfer it back to him now well yeah but she does doesn't oh Savage so then all the good guys are gonna have a big party very fun and Lando and this ex-st Stormtrooper girl talk about how she doesn't know where she's from and he's gonna be like well let's find out what does that mean unclear sir either a spin-off Adventure or he's gonna hook up with somebody 55 years younger than him well well that's either exciting or gross potentially both so what do you think overall well it sounds great but one thing's kind of bugging me what's that sir well you said that Palpatine like transmits a message I just wish we could hear what it was oh yeah I actually had a pretty cool idea about that oh you did yeah yeah yeah have you heard of fortnite what [Music] hey guys it's Ryan here hope you like that pitch meeting there are over 100 episodes of pitch meeting on the channel that you can check out I also have some other videos on there so click around also let me know in the comments section what other movies you'd like to see these pitches for don't forget to hit the like button the Subscribe button the Bell button the button button I don't know thanks for watching guys I'll see you next time

Channel: Pitch Meeting

Views: 3,013,720

Keywords: Pitch Meetings, ryan george, lucas films, star wars pitch meeting, disney+, disney series, yoda, grogu, obiwan, mark hamill, luke skywalker, princess leia, han solo, harrison ford, natalie portman, daisy ridley, kylo ren, adam driver

Id: jaBWs65wnw4

Length: 86min 40sec (5200 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 08 2022