ULTIMATE Best of Inappropriate Moments | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

it's weird the door's unlocked that's too bad I love watching you pound one out Charles what that was sexual which part all of the parts oh this is so cool you can shoot around corners I love guns I'm gonna make such a good dad not even gonna touch that the Amy Santiago story oh daddy's gonna dish out some daddy discipline as a fellow Daddy I approve stop saying Daddy you gotta pop a pair Santiago I know that you hate Halloween but stick with me and I promise you you will love it can you magically make everyone kind sober and fully dressed kind sober and fully dressed good news everyone we found the name of Santiago sex tape I did something really stupid I need your help you know I'm kind of a sexy bad boy who rides motorcycles into work and it's always breaking the rules in the name of Justice I don't like where this is going well I also maybe sometimes bring home case files to work on them after hours and I might not be that great about returning them oh God are you aroused because of what a bad boy I am you oh no for that he could think [Music] I think you could pull that off look I need to get those files can you please give me a ride fine I'll get my stuff but this better not bite me in the ass better not bite me in the ass name your sex tape but seriously hmm texting that's the most intimate thing you can do to a lover with your fingers other than washing their hair what's up little man what's up feeling sexy huh yeah I feel sexy yeah you look sexy you know I do it's out for that door we got distracted oh she has an amazing tongue strong Supple great bud density all right the linoleum awaits my dear oh boy I know we're undercover but I'm starting to get real nervous about this contest you need to see a therapist it stands this way how did you manage to step on both of my feet at the same time I'm horrible at this when can we stop I'm horrible at this one I know I know title of my sex tape yeah well done title of my sex tape let's go free and innocent woman nice dreams are coming true you and me kept my lady off together I mean you know how that sounds right geek blast a cold air coming out of that box name of Amy sex tape hey man come on not cool I'm going through something just let me have this one you really hurt my feelings by leaving me off your team oh I had no idea you felt that way well it doesn't feel great to be left out right totally I get it I'm sorry Captain Holt what where the camera is nice try Ray Ray there's no camera Jake I was being serious okay fine if you're telling the truth then I sincerely apologize but since you're not I will defeat [Music] defeat oh my God [Applause] we'll crack it I'm gonna go grab some coffee great [Music] hey uh now that it's just us there's a thing I wanted to say odesza you why doesn't your mouth work why doesn't your mouth work title of our sex tape your sex tape what no we all have our thing you're a muffler I'm a boner are you ready to go streaking what as my dad and I called getting blonde streaks in your hair we should do to her ponytails on road trips you just take a little lemon up top and let the sun do the rest we call it giving each other road head you just said you called it going shrieking it had a couple names what is all this no I think Halloween is for jerks well this Halloween I was the jerk sorry about tonight I'm sorry about tonight we found the title for Santiago's follow-up sex tape I'm sorry I couldn't convince you to love Halloween it's not it's not your fault I was terrible it's not your fault I was terrible is also one of your sex tapes Halloween is unbearable but it was slightly less unbearable with you don't I'm in my happy place right now hmm pesto mmm carbonara dexia train is leaving a station check out this Caboose later spots just let them have it [Music] Rosa Charles you're completely naked you have the right to remain silent you have the right to an attorney we'll call ourselves the night boys kind of sounds like a male escort service the Midnight Man even worse the dark stallions looks like we're going with the night boys what is this champagne mixed with 30 year old scotch and top shelf tequila Captain said a two drink Max but he did not set a price limit smart hmm oh God it's horrible yeah shoot Nevada the olive juice ew okay so listen the thing I said to you before I went undercover about how I wish something had happened between us romantically that wasn't nothing that was real what are you saying I know that you're with Teddy I'm not trying to change that and I get their stuff I can't control but this morning I told you that I didn't mean any of it and that was a lie I just don't want to hold anything back well thank you for saying that as long as we're clear that I'm with someone and nothing is going to happen I'm with someone nothing's gonna happen maybe your sex tape he's back oh what do we have here a 34 year old Caucasian male who is dead very dead cause of death initial assessment blunt force trauma but what do I find when I probe a little farther bruising around the neck and ocean water in the lungs ooh how long have you been dead body four days gross exploding odors oh uh 24 hours perfect here we go you gotta have something weird and tragic going on nope not unless you call hooking up with a girl at a funeral weird and tragic home run her name is Lieutenant Singh she's super hot we receded next to each other two funerals ago and there was hard eye contact all through Danny Boy last funeral we made out in the parking lot this time something naughty This Way Comes no what do you even know about this person oh we don't know anything about each other she says she likes that about us it's just pure animal attraction this is creepy and unlike you even know her first name oh um do animals in the wild know each other's names look all I know is Charles Boyle is going to that funeral and he's going to put the bone back in Boneyard before you go both of you requested to have this Saturday off but I need one of you to work oh I could take that shift the last time you worked a Saturday you watched the cartoons the entire time well that's when you're on work this out and get back to me sorry I can't reschedule I have tickets to a Ted Talk on power poses and getting hope it doesn't get too sexual oh I hope it doesn't get too sexual title or sex tape but seriously what is taking so long also the title of your sex tape now the first step in learning how to cook is learning how to taste so close your eyes and open your mouth this isn't Burning Man boil ah sorry I think feeling a little awkward yeah me too how do we make it not weird I know let's just get super drunk yes great idea pardon me ma'am could you please bring us four Kamikaze shots and four for me as well ah I like your style see we can do this we're back on track we're keeping it light and Breezy so we broke a rule yeah I hope it wasn't a mistake I hope it wasn't a mistake title your sex tape good guy Charles sorry how do you explain this I have no idea I put the plaque in my office Jetta come here come here come here baby the hell yeah thank you return to my office please what's up you little turds wait what is going on we have the plaque yeah the vent to rub it in your faces I just got it out of the Venture rabbit in your Face's name your sex tape what Jim ah now I work out in my garage throw the tire around grab a couple big ropes and do this mm-hmm here's my number maybe I could come over sometime and I don't know you could work me out oh no we don't have any more products we're problems oh and one more thing they're guilty no we are not please do not address the jury Mr Peralta but but one more butt and you will be in contempt one more button your content name your sex we all miss Jake and Rosa which is why we have to keep working the case there has to be some way to exonerate them I've been looking but I can't find anything and I don't know what to do I can't find anything and I don't know what to do title of your sex tape what is happening right now nice jeans Boyle those are surprisingly low wasted how's it here Gina I'm more than just a piece of ass now describe what you taste cheese and Sheena and I are casual lovers no yes I am time for me to get out there and spread my wings get out there and spread my legs what is he doing here if we find James and he's unstable doctor take it talking down hello Peralta Plus on the ride over he gave me a quickie a what a quick therapy session we talked about so much did you know that I have a tendency to be unconsciously sexual yes it's a real tough not to bust up you're doing it again oh okay I think I hear it you think you hear it okay this is the boiled decision making manual one of these sections will help you with choosing your partner here we go what do you prefer eyes or butt brains or body brains uh sorry nope that's for deciding lunch horrifying I'm sorry I don't know what's happening right now I'm so confused I don't know what's happening right now title your sex tape shaking I'm definitely going to title of your sexy [Applause] sex tape I can't believe I'm Frenching in the closet I feel like a teenager I feel like I'm 40 again chewing the shiso leaf it'll give her a kissing Umami flavor [Music] delicious perhaps you two would take me to a meeting of Gamblers Anonymous absolutely and Jake before we go I need to admit one more thing of course anything when I made you tell that table that you were living in your mother's basement it wasn't for the case I was just messing with you well played sir but the joke's on you my mother has a fantastic basement title your sex tape too soon all right let's go I got us a motel room across the street the street meet me there I'll meet you all right m-e-a-t Boyle are you set on the turkey this year's bird will be as moist no as juicy as no as wet as you can well just say it'll be good man it'll be good man detectives hello shirts button wrong huh so it is well how can I help you oh we came by to get that autopsy report is detective Peralta here I haven't seen him thanks for coming by hold on found him ah thank goodness you're here I am so lost Peralta what do you have to say for yourself the whole NYPD knows where you are and they're coming for you right now okay thanks for the tip let's kill them both get out of here before the cops come wait no no no I was lying about the backup I came alone titled by sex tape I hate to ask this but have you considered shutting the truck down you're always bragging about how much oils love to give up I can't I'm in so much debt I took out a loan for the truck I got Amy to invest no the only way out of this hole is to keep digging that's not how holes work title your sex tape Charles look I've had another man deep inside me this whole time ever since then it's been orgasm City yeah you know gross right guys I need a recommendation for a good restaurant it's Marcus's birthday and I want to do something nice oh do you want my classic romantic or gastro sensuous never mind is this gonna be one of those scavenger hunts Boyle because that pasta pot isn't feeling itself come on Terry let's just see what the plan is Charles what are we doing I don't know anything about it why don't we take this map and this Sextant and Charter course to the restaurant title of your Sexton tape ah did not work at all but I love that you attempted it title of your Sexton tape all right let's go you're getting married right here right now what come on Boyle I don't even have a dress you could wear genus I'm sure it's white there's no way Gina was going to wear a white dress to my wedding no it definitely was but I thought you'd just wear a gray pantsuit or something I would never wear a gray pantsuit to your wedding I promise you that this is happening Jake and Amy are getting married tonight title of my sex tape what yeah whoa wait I gotta look forward give me half hour you know how it is when you have a chance to bed an older woman you know that is not an older woman that's an old woman that's someone's grandma she was actually that's how I met her she had a replacement hit with some serious torque no like having sex with a Transformer hey chuckle bunny it's me you disappeared last night and you were acting weird and and I'm worried it's because I'm moving too fast I really want to see you and I know it's 3am but we should feed each other falafel in our own okay ah good morning Captain Holt you're looking refreshed interesting I didn't sleep a wink let's just say Kevin no longer has me in the guest room nice My Two Dads straight Smash in it sorry that came out weird title your sex tape but more importantly how did it go with commissioner Kelly do you think he killed her and dumped her body in the park sounds like couples counseling is going really great for them sorry my partner doesn't believe in therapy oh that's fine it's hard for some people that title you're sex tape sweet ah the boils are here good tidings Genevieve pillow you're looking sexy as a minx I was gonna say festive due to the scarf the bra underneath is insane it is okay Rosa listen to me there is no party just get off my donut already don't lie to me boil or you will be eating your bone marrow custard through a straw that's exactly how you're supposed to eat I'm glad we're not interested in each other as human beings oh how about if you tell me things about yourself and then I tell you how little I care about them okay not interested I was born in Dallas who even asked you I like that I don't care what you like hey what's up I came as fast as I could title your sex tape nailed it worst morning ever yeah it was stressful but we got the guy surprised you two were taking it so hard we were talking about our lunch you self-absorbed son of a [ __ ] bread it's completely inedible there's not even any soft Parts in the middle we can pull out that'll be your sex tape Towing this is all over I'm gonna rub her body and pate and then rub it off her with a Cornish hone I'm just gonna give my phone back okay nobody sucks up like a boil of course you knew that already because you're so smart just did it to you fine little man ring it okay looks like you and I are in a good old-fashioned suck off don't call it a suck off why not why shouldn't oh yeah yeah yeah yeah totally yep sir Jacob really pissed me off and I want to help you take him down wow that's an intriguing proposition you certainly could be useful thank you to Jake I gotcha Peralta you're not fooling anyone why does everyone think that's where a camera would be because the cleavage cloaks the camera with its curves that'll be all Spy sorry I say cleavage I know what you're thinking where dumb guts go uh yeah the this guy needs a dentist because he's got a big old cavity I love that I'm dealing it you cannot steal what is a gift thank you okay so whoever did this they weren't careful with the organs they just sort of grabbed whatever and yanked title of your sex tape oh that's just something we say back at the 99 interesting because around here sex tape is what we call the adhesive you use to reattach a severed penis oh I'll have to pick some of that up why anyway I don't know Jake I'm afraid I'm gonna think about it every time I look at your crotch then stop looking at my crotch toys for boys I don't know if I like that adult toys still sounds wrong male toys you know what let's just not call them toys that's my fault I started it you got it we'll just call them plate things we will not let's do this oh my God I'm melting I'm literally turning into a puddle Genevieve hold me I Got You Babe oh honey flat asses it's right on top of my Ute I'm gonna pretend none of that was said for the sake of the child hey Captain what delicious water I'm drinking sorry that we didn't check in before we left we're just out of the DMV following up on those Saturn owners lies Captain how do you know where you're here I followed you John Kelly gave you a hot glue didn't he how dare you disobey me come on sir it was a good tip and we're trying to catch a serial killer well then let's see this tip this groundbreaking tip that threatens to blow the case wide open okay I know this tone Here Comes Petty Holt nah [ __ ] I'm not being petty you just said nah [ __ ] show me the tip oh okay yeah this is turning into a live sex show yeah let's go oh no I wasn't saying it in a bad way Jake yep oh what what oh god her meeting the mayor her dog sitting for Bo Obama Malala giving her an award but no photos of watch that's because vampires don't appear on film perhaps we should be looking for a 17th century wood block print good idea let's keep moving wow that's sleep apnea mask is something else huh I gotta say ever since I got her her she touches my lips Jake she's her we can car accompany the bone boys no more bone less moon no workplace bone buds that's the one I'm registering it you are glowing brother to sister you've never looked sexier come on man Gina it's our first annual boiling Eddie Christmas are you excited about going to town on Daddy's nog Christmas is canceled Charles ruined it so I guess it's fair to say case open my God I have Goose flesh so now I'd like to move on to a real suspect I want to see detective Diaz in the Box don't ask for him what are you doing do we out totally or sex tape yes obviously it's the title is 16. everyone's taking my stuff and sure nothing would make me prouder than being your big daddy radical I bet you're an awesome fluffer yeah I bet you fluff those other Riders right out of their biker shorts I could picture you as a teenager fluffing all of New York City Cheryl stop talking fluffing has a different meaning just stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong really Gina and where does my nose belong if not inside our parents I'll see you tonight at my place God I hate you don't be late is this about the tickets it is indeed about said tickets and said Proclamation about said tickets is in fact Jake just tell us no one is liking this I'm loving it you sound so smart oh thank you my loyal subject Charles now as you know this decision has been quite hard upon me title of mine sex tape but I have made it at long last no I always hope that I can reconcile things with him one day but he's not gonna let that happen what can I tell you we're not meant to have sons there's a demon in our jeans no the title of my sex tape is cockpit Larry and the mile high Stuart eye what Stuart eye it's plural for stewardess yeah okay there's more where that came from I got a real wet mouth wasn't expecting to get this emotional it's not bad for an old robot huh you need more sleep sir did you just make a joke I believe I did yes I guess in the end we rubbed off on each other quite a bit tired of your sex movie did I do that right it was perfect [Music] foreign [Music] foreign

Channel: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Views: 838,219

Keywords: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, brooklyn 99, b99, Stephanie Beatriz, Rosa Diaz, Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg, Detective Charles Boyle, Melissa Fumero, Detective Amy Santiago, Detective Jake Peralta, NBC, Terry Jeffords, Amy Santiago, Sitcom, Chelsea Peretti, Andre Braugher, Gina Linetti, Terry Crews, Joe Lo Truglio, brooklyn nine nine, brooklyn 99 funny moments, b99 funny moments, brooklyn 9 9, brooklyn nine nine funny moments, best of brooklyn 99

Id: 9TtI6wIVWeY

Length: 20min 59sec (1259 seconds)

Published: Wed May 31 2023