Turning Broken Dreams Into New Beginnings | Sheridan Voysey

lovely to be with you this morning each one of you should have received a little slip like this as you were walking in over the next 10 15 20 minutes can you fill that out with something you don't need to put your name on it but this is going to be important as we kind of bring the message this morning to a close you may well have had a dream to get married and you did that's a good thing to put into the fulfilled dream column you may have really really wanted to have a particular career and it never came out maybe that's the unfulfilled dream or it's yet to be fulfilled maybe it's a broken dream you know it's not going to happen as a course of my talking if you could just put a couple of things in there that are really significant to you fulfilled and unfulfilled dreams then we're going to be doing something that with this particular piece of paper towards the end of our message by the time we reach our twenties most of us have a dream don't we it's just it's it's human to dream we might be have want to become someone maybe you want to become an artist or an author maybe want to become a filmmaker maybe will want to become a scientist or an engineer maybe you want to compete for our country in a particular sport we maybe we want to achieve something we want to release the book we want to release the film we want to compete for the country we want to do something that kind of shows that we are human that makes us who we are we want to become somebody we want to achieve something if I was to talk to your mother and she was to take me into the lounge room she'd probably have a very precious bottom drawer that she'd open up and she'd pulled out all the drawings of your childhood and in those drawings would probably be some of those dreams because our dreams inspire our drawings as a child and maybe like me in your teen years those dreams kept you awake at night with excitement when you started to think about what the possibilities could be for you and your life in the future by the time we reach our 20s maybe those dreams are starting to define maybe some the decisions we're making are we going to go to university if so what course are we going to do we're gonna get married those kinds of things and then by the time we reach our 30s and our 40s we've had an opportunity to see some of those dreams spring to life or perhaps to have seen some of those dreams die this is my wife Maren she's smart she's funny she's pretty she's mine I'll never forget the day in the year 2000 when she walked into the kitchen and she said honey I think it's time and bingham Australian male not completely clued unto these things I said honey what what do you mean time for what and she said time we'd started a family and I said what right now this moment fantastic let's go it's gonna get worse than that okay just give me your heads up to get worse than half and it was time we'd been married five years by that stage we weren't running around from city to city were in Perth and we were with a good time did the time to think about that now any couple that makes that decision knows that from that point on every 28 days you're looking for signs of success aren't you right that's just how it works right it's very common after the first 28 days as expectation and it's common for there to be disappointment next month expectation disappointment and then often expectation excitement well the pattern for us went expectation disappointment expectation disappointment expectation disappointment expectation disappointment expectation disappointment after nine months we went got some tests done those tests reveal that there was a significant problem on my side and that without either a divine miracle or some sort of technological assistance our dreamt of child would be very difficult to have now what comes into effect at that point for an infertile couple is a kind of a pendulum swing of emotions so when the pendulum is up this end you're thinking about all the kind of positive is the kind of upside of being childless and all of that exact can bring so you think about the fact you've got well you've got more disposable income you've got more freedom to travel you've got more time on your hands you can go to a cafe on a Saturday morning you can read page after page up to paper you can sit latte after light after light a mums and dads you're not feeling just a little bit jealous right now but it doesn't take long until the pendulum swings the other way and that maternal paternal Drive kicks in that desire to hold your child a desire to hold a little so that starts kicking in for us and when the pendulum is up this end we try all sorts of things to try and remedy our situation we try special diets we try special supplements we tried chiropractic which to this day I cannot work out why we tried healing prayer we believe in a God who intervenes miraculously one particular life in 2003 a bunch of people gathered in the lounge room to pray for us to pray for me and as they gathered around me and as they laid hands on me and they started to pray over me It was as if God walked in the room out of nowhere suddenly I begin to cry now Merrill I've been married about seven years by the stage and she's never seen me cry because I'm an Australian male and we don't cry but I cry this night tears coming from I don't know where and after that night I'm exhausted but this feels like something something has been freed released healed and so for the next 28 days there is expectation followed by disappointment in 2006 we try our first round of IVF in vitro fertilization took me two years to work out the ethics of it from a Christian perspective and we took a particular line in that and we we went down to the IVF clinic and it was a very traumatic process on the woman involved very long needles very sensitive areas and two hours later she's in recovery and then later after that we're in the taxi we're heading home and all our friends and family around Australia in fact around the world are praying for us and there's expectation expectation expectation and disappointment in 2007 some friends come around for lunch and a place into Moran's arms their newborn baby boy and I'm watching their and hold this baby boy and she's doing and she's going and she's doing all the right things you're supposed to do when you're holding somebody else's child like say how pretty it is which is often a lie cause sometimes these things are ugly anyway she's doing all the right things you know I'm looking to myself and I'm thinking well she's not kind of you know running out of the room in tears maybe we're in a good position friends go home after lunch and I go looking around the house Samarin and I finally find her in our bedroom sitting on our bed surrounded by a sea of used tissues and she looks up at me from her tear-stained eyes and she says do you think we should try adoption 2008 the social worker gets up from our table she's just finished the last interview of an 8 month process to assess us to work out whether we are suitable people to look after somebody else's biological child and as she gets up to go out the door and kind of say goodbye and make her way out she turns around and she says to me I know I shouldn't say this I know that you know I'm a social worker I'm supposed to keep my feelings to myself keep it all objective but I'm going to say this anyway you're a very attractive couple I don't think it'll take long until your place for the child just wait for the phone call so we wait for the phone call 1 week passes it's not gonna happen this fast 2 weeks past expectation 3 4 5 weeks past just be patient love it'll come two months past in those phone call 4 6 8 months pass the no phone call 1012 months pass and I thank all 14 16 18 months and no phone call proverbs 13 12 says Hope deferred makes the heart sick 19 20 months Marin's heart is sick by two years without a phone call without any knowledge as to why that's the case are we just not that good looking to this particular these particular people or there's not many children coming through the system at the moment we dis never can know because that's all confidential they can't tell us marian comes to me with tears in her eyes she says I can't do this anymore I can't live in this limbo of expectation and disappointment never knowing when the phone is going to call if it's even gonna ring I couldn't do it with IVA I can't live in this anymore can we do something psychologically this is pulling me apart can we go into IVF again it's in what we discover that you can't be on the option list and do IVF at the same time and there's good reasons for that but it means we're in a decision time we have to let go or by the three years nearly of investment in this adoption process and then if we want to come back we start from scratch to do IVF may not work we keep waiting for the jelly phone call in 2010 we decide we'll do this we will go all out this time we will do round after round after round until it works and so it comes time for our first embryo to be transferred and by this stage I'm pointing the finger at myself very heavily Sharon you other reason your wife cannot have what she desperately wants and you know what's not just your biological fault maybe it's your spiritual fault maybe you have not been faithful enough maybe there's some sort of secrets in what's stopping the healing from coming and so round about this time I decided well you know what maybe the prosperity preachers are right and maybe I shouldn't be asking gods or something I should just be commanding a blessing I shouldn't be asking I should just be expecting so I said oh god I'm not going to ask you I'm just going to expect that this embryo is going to work into a viable pregnancy is going to working out to a child and so I stand in face and I claim and I do everything like I possibly can and there is expectation expectation expectation disappointment next embryo is transferred Lord just say the word and your servant will be healed you know that great prayer of that Roman soldier that Jesus loved he responded you are to say a word and your servant will be healed and this will happen expectation expectation expectation and disappointment another embryo is transferred another and another by mid December of 2010 ten years after that original conversation in the kitchen we have one embryo left and Marin and I've decided this is it if this doesn't work we're not going back to IVF we're not going to start the whole process of adoption again there's no going to be normal prayers we've given this ten years our life has been on hold for this amount of time we need to move on the embryo is transferred by the stage mer and space is shot I'm exhausted got hardly any prayers left in me but we have stateful friends and family who pray for us they're like that story in the Gospel of Mark where there's a bunch of friends that dig a hole remember in the ceiling and they lower their crippled friend down you never hear about the crippled friend having any faith or anything like that but jesus heals and because of the friend's face and that's what they are like for us and so because they're praying because they're kind of believing they're holding out for us there is some degree of expectation expectation expectation and it's followed by a phone call the phone calls from Emily from the IVF clinic and she says it's looking good and Maren says define the word good are we talking good are we talking good and Emily says all your hormone levels are exactly where we'd expect them to be for a pregnancy what can you imagine the elation that starts to erupt amongst our family and friends have been walking with us for 10 years through this whole journey I can't believe it this tears they're finding out while they're doing their shopping they're texting I think we're in the it tears we can't believe that after 10 years wait after praying and fasting and everything else you're finally going to have your child at the eleventh hour isn't that just like God and I discovered that day friends that when you tell your mother she's going to become a grandmother she squeals it's a great party trick tribal lunch today nothing that counseling went saw afterwards my mum squeals my dad gives the Boise victory last reserved for certain dinner family occasions and it was elation everywhere and we are living in Sydney at this time we pack our bags we we drive up to Brisbane and spend Christmas with our families and on Christmas Eve we get another phone call and it's Emily from the IVF clinic and she says to Maren I'm so sorry because there had never been a child the IVF drugs had created a gestational sac and there was no body in the sack even the doctors had been fooled at that moment Maren puts the phone down walks into our room curls up in a fetal position and that's where our 10-year dream of having a child ended we didn't feel like celebrating Christmas up much that year and so late on Christmas Eve we packed up we started driving back to Sydney we stopped at a motel in Coffs Harbour funnily enough we couldn't find any rooms in the end we found one finally we walked in we dropped the bags on the floor and Marin collapsed and the beds in tears and I pulled out my journal and I wrote these words god this is cruel leaving us in this wilderness we've walked around in circles for years tired empty confused one moment we've glimpsed the promised land and the next moment you've barred us from entering it I'm going to be honest with you this morning I'm going to be sharing some of these things that otherwise we wouldn't normally share because as much as we can come to church and praise God and everything there are times in which it's kind of hard right and you're not too sure what God's doing right anybody else been there you're wondering what on earth God is doing what's your broken dream maybe long to be married and mr. or mrs. rides doesn't come around maybe you have longed to have a child like us or maybe a second child same greets by the way maybe have longed for your music to make it to the masses and nobody's downloading your songs off iTunes maybe your art hasn't made it out and you haven't because Korea hasn't gone the way that you wanted maybe you had the dream career and you lost it maybe you had the child and god forbid you lost it no matter what your broken dream is if you have been through a broken dream especially if it's gone over on for a period of time I think you know what I mean by this phrase the wilderness see the wilderness is that barren place between longing and fulfillment and you walk in circles around between this kind of space but you never seem to get here to the to the man or so the woman looks or the healing or to the child or to the dream crea or whatever it might be that you've been dreaming of for such a long time and it's a hard place to live right in the wilderness sometimes it lasts for a long time thank god there's more to the wilderness than broken dreams and disappointment where did I get that language from you know Promised Land wilderness and stuff like that come on you difficult exegetes you got it from the Exodus thank you very much got it from the Exodus where two million people two million Jews after 400 years of slavery in Egypt were set free to go and walk for 40 years in the wilderness before they enter the Promised Land now few weeks after we got back to Sydney we started licking our wounds and started getting our life back in order started to work out what this life is going to look like now I sat down and I read that story I was surprised at the framework that it put around our experience it didn't answer all my questions but it did connect a few dots so for the rest of the morning we're just going to explore that story now we've got two options we can either read the whole of the book of Exodus and half the Book of Numbers together to get the story or its summarized in a few verses of Deuteronomy chapter 8 which do you choose oh you want the short one now I think Exodus chapter 1 verse 1 let's begin Deuteronomy 8 the 40 years of the wilderness wanderings is over the children of Israel are about to walk into the Promised Land tomorrow it's the night before Moses gets up he has a few things to say to the children of Israel and he says them like this remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years to Humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart whether or not you would keep his commands for some people the wilderness is a place of warfare it's a place where you battle against the principalities and powers and so you can get your breakthrough for other people it's a place of resignation you know broken dreams and heartache and pain and suffering is a part of a broken world so you just have to kind of resign ourselves to it interestingly enough Moses sees it as neither a place of warfare nor as a place of resignation he sees it as something else what was in your heart whether or not you would keep his commands can I suggest first and foremost the wilderness is a place of Revelation it reveals something it reveals what's in our hearts it reveals the truth it reveals often things we didn't even know were there this is a family timeslot we've got a few children around in here I'm going to speak in code for a moment to see if you understand what I'm talking about as I mentioned before there came some time but where we had to get some tests done where I had to get some tests done and there came a time for me to provide something that they called a sample okay is about half a dozen people in the middle who understand what I'm talking about a whole bunch of people over here I've got no idea would you like more details I can give them to you if you like how we doing over here you got it are we on the same page okay so I had the opportunity of providing this sample they gave me two options I could either duck into the toilet of the IVF clinic yes Gloria stuff in it I can either do that or the other option was that they could provide a way for which Maren and I could have they cost a home collection same people in the middle know what I'm talking about how you're doing over here which I call details I can give them see our guys go yeah yeah okay no no no what kind of church you guys are so Maren and I opted for the Home Collection and a little while afterwards where we were racing this little specimen jar with its precious contents into the IVF clinic memory remember Maren was holding it like this she had it wrapped it up in a jumper to keep it warm and she was holding it like a precious little chick and we get to the IVF clinic we parked over the roads from the IVF clinic and we find ourselves in this ludicrous position I'm looking at her she's looking at me I look at her and she looks at me and I look at her and I say you take it in and she says I'm not taking it in I said well I'm not taking it in and she said well you you have to take it I'm not gonna take it issue is that I'm gonna take you then it is yours that's why I can't take it in what do I do I walk up to the receptionist and I go hi ah this is for you I'm not taking in well I'm not taking it just in a lady walked down the footpath I started winding down the window I said to Meryn if you don't take it in I'm asking her to take it in there and took it in you know it's probably the last time we laughed like that for quite a few years little did we know the tests but we're going to come into our lives as a result of actually that test when we discovered what the problem was and then suddenly we were on this kind of wilderness journey which we never expected to be on and friends we tried so hard to do this thing here whether or not you would keep his commands we tried so hard you know the beginning of life stuff and making sure that embryos weren't lost and all those kinds of things we tried our hardest like I would love to be able to stand here and say that we walked through the wilderness as Victoria Saints rejoicing in the Lord right the way through but if that's the message looking forward to you've missed got the wrong guy we didn't and I've got Marion's permission to read certain aspects of her journal out to you during this time Marin is saying things like this I wish I could trust God in this I wish that I could trust God has some sort of grand plan for not giving us a child what can you truly pray for when you've asked with all your heart and you're ignored God feels like an old friend who no longer returns my phone calls maybe God has just mean if you read the story from start to finish in Exodus and half of numbers you'll find it throughout the wilderness journey the the Jews grumbled and complained and do all sorts of things and sorry enough they never doubted God's existence when they're going through the wilderness but they did doubt his goodness that's exactly what is going on for Marren during the wilderness and he be asked anyway you know dad and God the gifted there's a god that ever you are wondering if he's good if he's a father and so that's happening there and so could you suggest that maybe what's starting to be revealed was starting to come out of their ins heart is a certain mistrust a certain lack of trust can she really trust God in the midst of this wilderness we would discover that there was something else in my heart that had to come out different one day were sitting by the Sydney Harbour and we're talking about at the future and Marin says to me the thought of life going on as normal if we're not going to have a family everything going on as usual it's just too hard for me to contemplate and I put my arm around her you know husband to the rescue Here I am I said what would be nice for you love what would be a nice consolation prize she said I'd like to start again and start again right I'd like to start again overseas overseas okay I'd like to start again overseas in Europe Europe Europe you really want to go over yet you were in Europe big dream to Marin was about to be denied but he was a secondary dream which I had the power to make true to fulfil for her I didn't like the cost so here's the irony Juno's very same ten years in the wilderness of infertility those very same ten years meant that things were going very very well for me in terms of ministry in Korea Sandra mentioned the open house program that started a little dream that I had in 1996 to start up a radio show to explore life space and culture with Australian mainstream mind and we would have live music and be nationally networks we'd have call ins we have all sorts of things would be ultimately trying to engage the mainstream mind with the things that stays and that came to fruition in 2006 and yes I got to only host it for five years it kept on going after me but it got there and we had a hundred thousand people we had fifty percent of those people not Christian all everything that I wanted for that show came to fruition during that same ten years I had a dream of writing books and I started to write books and I started to sell during that same ten years I had a dream of speaking at conferences that came about as well and now Marin wanted me to give it all up you ask any publisher there's very little chance of an author being published in the country where they're not known to have meirin's dream fulfilled I would have to relinquish my own and I would again love to say it was an easy decision but was a tough one see when you go through the wilderness you find that there's stuff in your heart you didn't even realize was there for Maren it was mistrust you know what it might have been for me a little Idol of Christian influence I have my audience I had people read my books had an opportunity to stand on stage and speak to members and Senators Australian Parliament House I was going to look at all that go and maybe I didn't realize how Tory started to build my sense of identity on those things which are good but they're secondary revealed a little idol when you go through the wilderness what might it reveal of your heart the world myths was a place of Revelation it's also a place of something else so Moses gets up and he has a few other words to say he gets something he says these words I think you're gonna need to click it for me that's not even my slide oh it's a word from God I've got to change my message crazy guy thank you so before at the beginning of his little talk he says in the wilderness you saw how the Lord your God carried you as a father carries his son now he says know in your heart that as a man disciplines his son so the Lord your God disciplines you father son carries disciplines don't miss these words friends because they're really significant up to this point in time in the story the Jews have known God is creator they've known him as warrior they've known him as judge and now they discover him to be something else entirely they discover him to be father now I don't know about you but this is significant did you know that this is the very first time in Deuteronomy where God reveals himself as father the very first time in scriptural history now don't you think it's interesting where he does that he doesn't do it when times are good he does it in the wilderness when times are bad the very time when you and I probably most likely to doubt that he's a good father the wilderness turns out to be a place of discovery the Jews discover God in a whole new way he is not just Redeemer he's not just Lord he is not just liberator he is father and that means they are his children so Maron has this dream she wants to move overseas when Maron started to think that maybe this whole motherhood thing wasn't going to work for her she started to think about careers and she took a brave step she took a brave step to follow her deepest inner desires and dreams career-wise she did what you and I always wanted to do but never had the bravery to do so she pursued what was in us that we all wanted to become all of us have want to become this but she actually pursued it she became a statistician and her field is medical statistics so she went into medical research and she can really started to love it and she thought maybe Switzerland would be a good place to go to because they've got a lot of pharmaceutical companies and they need people who have her kind of skills and then we discovered that the Swiss don't like other people with the beautiful people but if you're trying to get in there outside of the Europe you're not going to be able to get in there you've got to have a visa before you get a job you can't get a job without a visa egg and chicken kind of thing looked like a second broken dream for Marian then she had an opportunity to do an interview with a little University in England somebody knows what's coming and she had this interview one particular nights a very hot summers night she was there she hadn't opened the window and so she's doing this interview for like 30 40 minutes and it's getting hotter and hotter and the perspiration is streaming down her face and they're asking her questions about parametric sample sizes and all those kinds of things are the tools of her trade and she comes out afterwards and I think how did it go so I don't think it went very well at all I said when do you find out she said they'll they said they're gonna get back to me in two weeks next day I got a phone call from Maren she says I've got an email from the interview panel I say fantastic what does it say she says I don't know I haven't read it do you think I should yes of course I thought she opens it up she says okay what does it say here we are pleased to offer you the position of medical statistician at the Center for statistics and medicine at Oxford University mm-hmm uh-huh yeah half of you do that the rest of you are supposed to join in so that's where you go oh all right - try it again at Oxford University exactly let's do it again Oxford University I've ever told you my wife works at Oxford University that's what everybody says so she had this wonderful opportunity and very soon we're casting our belts in at the airport and we're flying off to our new home of Oxford friends this is where John Wesley was kicked out of the Anglican Church to start the Methodist Church I know it's kind of cool I think it's kind of cool CS Lewis wrote the Narnia Chronicles in a little house just up the road and around the corner from me okay I'm just saying actually a little bit further than that but anyway dad's whole King wrote the law of the Rings just a suburb away in his house just for me I'm just saying don't feel jealous at all and so we arrived at in this place this new place at Oxford and we start to get used to the thousand-year-old buildings and it's amazing University that we're surrounded by comes the first day for married to start her job at Oxford University she's bought a new outfit because that's what you do ladies right and she comes down the stairs and she says how do I look I look her up and down my same idea we nose medical statisticians see you in the office today they are going to spill their weak tea all down their beige cardigan but she's anxious we've come a long way this not to work but she comes home with a smile and it actually continues to come home with a smile it's no replacement for a child but what's the second part of Proverbs 1312 Hope deferred makes the heart sick but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life and it's the tree of life she needs so as the months roll on Samarin coming to Oxford is like leaving the wilderness and entering the promised land and for me coming to Oxford it's like leaving the wilderness and entering a whole new wilderness well-connected people are kind of caught putting my name forward to the BBC but the BBC aren't returning my phone calls nobody's asking me to speak at their conferences I think I've got a really winning a book idea and I take it to not one but two publishers and they turn me down why who's Sheridan Boise we've never heard of him one actually said come back to us when you're famous and very soon feelings started to arise within me that I never even knew were there I'm Yours capable of them but I didn't know they were there a sense of depression about what I'd lost a sense of jealousy for those who had what I used to have a sense of envy for those who had what I had never had jealousy and envy and it was so ugly friends I headed in here and it was coming out and a little voice whispered to me around about that time used to be listened to by thousands Sheridan now nobody cares what you have to say you're washed up you're spiritually impotent you're over you're done you're finished two voices at what happens friends is when we go through the wilderness we are stripped of all the good but secondary identities most of us build our lives on so I'm asking this morning who are you if you cannot become the mum you want to become who are you if you never get married you're never a called husband who are you if the credit career never works out who are you if nobody ever downloads your music of iTunes the way you want me to who are you if your art never makes it to the masses who are you if you never become the engineer you want or the chemist you want or the sports person that you want to be who are you Sheridan if nobody ever publishes a word that you write again who are you Sharon if nobody ever invites you to host a radio show again till we use Sheridan if you're never invited to speak on a platform again till we you who are you is there anything more foundational anything more substantial beneath all of those identities that we can build our lives on read the words of Moses again as a man disciplines his son so the Lord your God disciplines you as a father carries his son he carried you this is what's left this is what's left when you go through the wilderness and all the secondary identities are stripped away from you you are a son you are a daughter you are a child of God now tell me one thing that can take that away from you unemployment sickness failure death how great is love the father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God and that's what we are friends I've written about this I preached it I thought I knew it when you go through the wilderness you discover how deep that truth has gone in and I found that it probably got about this far and it needed to go this far and this far and go through the whole of my being and this is what happens when you go through the wilderness you discover who you most truly deeply are a child of God are you with me maybe you're not because maybe I would have been sitting there saying yes I'm with you Sheridan and I'd only thought of it's a place of Revelation it's a place of discovery he's got one more thing to say observe the commands of the Lord your God walking in his ways and revering him for the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land he's bringing you into a good land it's a place of Revelation it's a place of discovery and then the Jews find outsourcer a place of transition after 40 years in the wilderness they enter the Promised Land after 40 days in the wilderness Jesus comes back and he starts his world-changing mission and this is good news for those of us who've lost the dream or gone through the wilderness after the wilderness comes a new beginning so we get used to this new place of Oxford we start going and seeing the wonderful things that have happened all around our place in forward history we drive up to stratford-upon-avon where Shakespeare was born and we had all these different places where his famous people lived and we took an opportunity that a friend had given me to come and spend a weekend with them you might know who this person is his name is Adrian PLAs anybody read and the Adrian PLAs books sacred diary of adrian class age 37 and 3/4 was his a famous book he reminds me that it's rapidly out of date and how he's no longer 37 and 3/4 Adrienne is the kind of guy who when he asks you how you're doing he actually wants to hear the answer and around about December of 2010 just before that phone call had come he had asked me off air on the interview with open house he had actually asked how you doing Sheridan when we've been talking off here I told him where we were up to and he said if you ever come to the UK we would like you to stay with us and we would like to pamper you and we'd like to look after you when you're in radio you get a lot of offers like that it's kind of you know yeah dude yeah when you come in through LA look me up yeah sure it's just another way of saying goodbye I really and Adrian meant it and so we went up to North Yorkshire with his rolling hills and dry stone walls less lovely English prettiness and we ended up spending a weekend with Adrian and his wife Bridget and over that weekend the story comes out one afternoon were walking in this park Maren and Bridget walk up I kind of ahead of us and then Adrian and I are kind of just lagging behind and Adrian says so how are you doing now it's been a few months since we've been in the UK how are you doing now I said well Adrian I think we're doing okay you know the new job for Marin has been wonderful she still gets a bit teary at times but the time between the tears is getting longer so I think this healing there things are a bit up in the air and for me I'm not too sure where I'm going but you know I guess just trust God with that I guess Adrian what we're trying to do is look at the upside of being childless it's more disposable income we've got more freedom to travel we can sit in a cafe on a Saturday morning drinking latte after latte reading page after page of the paper and Adrian says I understand that but that can only take you so far says Sheridan think about the cross think about the crucifixion no matter which way we look at it no matter which way we spin it we can't put a positive spin we can't see the upside in what was a brutal and barbaric isn't and Jesus didn't try to do that he wasn't looking for an upside in the crucifixion Sheridan Jesus will try to do something completely different to that now he had my attention he said Sheridan have you noticed how many people Jesus ministered to while he hung on the cross as to what do you mean he said will you think about it remember Mary his mother is standing right before him and so his mother is his friend John and he says mother here is your son son here is your mother he's looking after his mother's well-being and she gets old while he's hanging on the cross not bad huh he said Sheraton think about the people that were crucifying him What did he say forgive them father so they do not know what they do think about the seat that was crucified next to him What did he say today you will be with me in paradise what about the Roman centurion who has had this revelation surely this was the Son of God he was ministering to him in some kind of miraculous supernatural way and Sheridan just why he's hang on the cross Jesus is paying the penalty for our sins being the sacrifice for our sins he's ministering to us get this Sheridan all of this is happening on the cross during the crucifixion before things come good at the resurrection now I met you but I hadn't seen that before because maybe you like me and you kind of go when you're going through a tough time you go well when I get through this what a testimony it's going to be one of the ministry is going to happen after I get through this wilderness after get through this tough time after I get through this crucifixion and Adrian was reminding me know now in the midst of the wilderness in the midst of the broken dream in the midst of the pain and the suffering that's where ministry comes out yes Sheridan there'll be some upsides to you not having children but some days you're going to feel cold and empty and lonely and it's going to feel excruciating but if you let him God will use this suffering and provide an opportunity for you to serve other people through it in other one ways you otherwise never could later that night we're sitting in his Land room by a roaring fire sipping port how English can you get and we're talking about my failed writing career and how it's not going anywhere out of the blue Adrian says have you thought that writing your story into a book so which story is said he believed it I couldn't even see it he said you're the story you've told us this weekend the conversation in the kitchen in year 2000 and the prayer meeting in 2003 and the IVF attempt of 2006 and the adoption attempt in 2008 and then the phone call on Christmas Eve in 2010 all of that I said what do you mean like am my said yes my said Oh for a start Adrian I don't want to be known as the infertility guy that's what the brand I want but slides Adrian on the qualified to write a book on infertility there's medical people who can do that and Adrian says your story isn't about infertility your story is about broken dreams and starting again your story is about holding on to God when you don't understand him your story is about leaving the past behind and moving to a new future you don't even know what's about I know a lot of people who could benefit from reading a story like that I don't sleep at night thinking about the idea I'm pretty sure my wife's Maren his private wasn't going to be keen on going public with our story she goes away and prays about it she comes back to says I think you're supposed to do this and a few days after that book is released into the world I start getting emails like this my son has Asperger's and my marriages and tatters because of my husband's addiction all my dreams are gone but I've just read resurrection year and now I can start again and I can start finding God again this one my child was stillborn now my husband has asked for a divorce thank you for sharing your story with such vulnerability I'm tired of hearing Christian success stories friends we get that all the time 300 odd letters now that I've received from the direction Year leader readers and the amount of people who say I can't handle another book that tells me about a miracle ending friends I believe in an intervening God who does the miraculous and if we were going to canvass you I reckon it wouldn't take long before you'd be telling me about a miracle story that you've experienced but for every miracle there's a hole 10 20 to 30 maybe a hundred people who don't get the miracle and if all we ever share from the stages in our churches is just the miracle story there's a whole bunch of people who live there often without mentioning a word about it and feel completely and utterly ripped apart and feel like they're cursed of God at the very worst very least forgotten by God but is there not one of the way to look at it yes we believe in an intervening miracle making God but we also believe in a God who let Jesus died on the cross for a greater cause and then resurrected him bringing him to new life which he says he will do with us because we follow a God of redemption not just rescue we follow a God of redemption like this rescue he takes the rubbish that junk and he turns it into a beauty that otherwise could not have happened without the rubbish and the junk so my friends it's time I'll gas the band to come up and we'll just kind of land this that little piece of paper that you've got there if you will be read written a dream that's fulfilled and a dream that is unfulfilled there now the time for us to use it if you haven't then now's the time to scribble it down as a band come up and play and as we kind of move into this prayerful time we're just going to do something really really simple with this you see that a couple of crosses have been set up on the stage here do you remember Abraham and the story of God calling him to sacrifice Isaac have you ever wondered what on earth was that all about do you remember that Abraham had been given two promises by God one he would have his own child wouldn't be his cousin or somebody else that would receive his certain heritance no he'd have his own child Isaac was a symbol of a fulfilling but the promise was much bigger than that you won't just have one son you will have a whole nation in fact look up at the sky can you count the number of stars that's helped that's helped many you're going to have you're going to have a whole nation of people so Isaac was actually a symbol of the unfulfilled dream and God is saying give me the dream give me the unfulfilled dream I want it back and so what Abraham is called to do is lay those dreams on the altar hand them over the risk is if God is who he says he is yes every right to keep the dream every right to not give us the unfulfilled dream but as you know the story just as he's about to do the thing gods jumps in and says no I now know you trust me more than you place your whole trust in this little baby boy as much as you place your trust in everything else for circumstances around you now I know you've trusted me with your one and only Son I'm asking this morning or you trust God with your very precious dreams the fulfilled ones and the unfulfilled ones giving them over to him a dream fulfilled became an idol for me may it not become an idol for you an unfulfilled dream becomes an idol for many may it not become an idol for you a greater tragedy than a broken dream as a dream that defines your life forevermore here's the time to hand it over so we're just going to go into a kind of very quiet worship and Presley if you're already if you want to you can just simply come and prayerfully say this is yours this is yours and so in Jesus name I ask that you would move by us and through us in us by your holy spirit Lord that you would work powerfully in our lives now that we might give our dreams the precious things of a very part of our humanity and pass them back over to you Lord the fulfilled gosh we're really grateful for the fulfilled ones and the unfulfilled Lord we hunger for them we longed for them we don't quite understand why in some cases we haven't got them yet but we're going to give them over to you Lord for you to do with as you wish we commit them to your Lord in Jesus name whenever you're ready if you're ready come along and pass your dreams over [Music]

Channel: Bayside Church Melbourne

Views: 935

Rating: 4.7894735 out of 5

Keywords: bayside church, rob buckingham, bayside, sheridan voysey

Id: fLeXJlu_gzc

Length: 44min 58sec (2698 seconds)

Published: Mon May 08 2017