TUMBLR WUMBLR V183

the weirdest thing I've learned while working for pest control is that snails love rat poison and will activate it but hate SESAM seeds I should add that rat poison has no effect on snails and they just get super fat cause they gorge themselves in boxes of rat poison absolute units of course then they go and get eaten by birds / raccoon / whatever and deliver like 10 times the lethal dose of rat poison to whatever's eating them and kill it horribly snail use toxic it's super effective a [Music] restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the service should show some skin so the owner added a potato skins special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the West Virginia Foundation for ape information services that's exactly the appropriate response in other news reading the reviews for caps has become my new favorite pastime caps is the worst thing to happen to caps since dogs it's literally incredible I hope I never see it again what happens in musical theater should stay in musical theater finally a whole new generation can discover that the caps musical is two hours of human fur line hybrids without genitals having no touch 6 and begging for death via song by the time I left the theater I wasn't even sure what a real cat looked like anymore I felt the light inside me slowly fading first off full disclosure I'm not a cat person second off after watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's cats I'm not altogether sure I'm a movie person anymore either is it happy impeachment or merry impeachment I don't want to offend anyone treasons greetings impeach navigate my younger brother is suing tellin 'td they literally had him Claire Dalton up in the middle school clay I'm the brother just got a weighted blanket fellas I'll keep you updated update one idli update to convey Yao Li can guarantee you 9/10 times caches do not give a fly-in flip what you buy listen I have seen people buy laxatives and adult diapers you think I'm gonna give a damn if you're buying tampons for your wife like B I probably didn't even look at the package I'm just concerned with getting its can't be beat mother [ __ ] and we are done this is helpful for people with anxiety beep beep motherf ker who is she hache I die every time I see this post because everyone thinks it's a cat but it's a first use I'm screaming what the feet in capitalism can't be that hard how much HP does it have the world boss capitalism has 1 million nine hundred and fifty one thousand four hundred and eighty four HP but it also has a companion boss called the state and that boss has two million four hundred and eighty seven thousand three hundred and thirteen HP and if you don't get them both to zero at about the same time they just start spamming shields and heels on each other and the state starts using Oh hko attacks on your entire group damn that must be why marx recommends a party we'd have finished this raid by now if someone didn't keep splitting the party fourth international rushing and alone Lee drew up skies III her skin is so pretty bout oh thank you I made it myself momentarily forgot minecraft skins were earthing was very concerned a girl I'd like to convince me to stab a man so I did felt guilty for a bit then promptly forgot about it and walked around with the murder weapon for a couple of hours going about my business walking my dog eventually I was cornered by a plainclothes police officer who asked me why I had a bloody knife I told him I was looking after it for my bogan cousin he said you're under arrest and I was like no I'm not watch this and then I woke up that's a god damned Power Move nobody half full water bottle left behind on the floor of a public bus rolls around Obi is an optimist what is the difference between falling in love and having a crush if they get a haircut and they are ugly it's a crash that's a weirdly valid point how come humans don't lick to show affection lesbians do bi spat out my drink here's a picture of my cat no one asked for this is absolutely what I asked for thank you whenever somebody says like so what did you do today just look off into the distance and say the right thing then stare right into their eyes and say I hope the LAN King it is impossible to CGI futur allistic Lions who can also remote Chronicles of Narnia well first of all through God all things are possible so jot that down wow it was actually done a billion times better before I totally forgot ng L as then was so well rendered I forgot they didn't just train a liar I'm gonna be perfectly honest people could have told me they straight-up trained a lion and I would have believed them 100% yet I ain't sayin she's a gold digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about gold in them there hills I don't know so yeah she is probably a gold digger [Music] in other news my flag is being held up by sticky hands I've punched into the ceiling hey ope quick question look at this picture that's in my German textbook please lead us oh mighty universe frog I think it's very brave and sexy of me to still play pockemon games in the exact same way I did when I was 5 years old ignoring all start changing moves this is an offensive move only household if you effectively strategize using stat changes in battle fu the only stat we care about changing is changing the enemy's HP stat to zero sometimes people try to tell me that scientists of Paragons of rationality and I have to break it to them that I have yet to work in a lab that didn't have at least one weird secret shrine in it new guy why is all of the equipment in this room covered in toys me don't touch those new guy me they need the toys to function if they don't all have toys they get jealous new guy new guy me when something breaks just take the wizard and wave it around for a while they seem to like that I think one of the reasons I like armor and masks so much is because I enjoy not being identifiable as anything more than vaguely bipedal and hard to kill with Malay weapons black caps are wonderful because you can stare into the void and not only dis avoid stare back sometimes it drops up to you happily and begs for Pat's the void is loud and once chicken people talk about women being emotional and overreacting but you don't see a woman making an arch-nemesis out of an albino whale and obsessively chasing it down like a lunatic for 585 pages since I made this post I'd multiple women telling me they would absolutely hunt down a whale for an extended period out of a bloodthirsty desire for vengeance and I want to apologize for engaging in gender stereotypes my friend works two jobs and doesn't tend to specify which one he's talking about so he'll say stuff like a lady died at work today and the rest of us have to play a fun little game called nursing home or Yankee Candle today he goes someone threw a candle at me at work and I think I can finally reliably pin down one of his anecdotes but nope it was a wretched nursing home gay penguin couple give an egg after failing to hatch stones at Berlin Zoo a pair of male king penguins at berlin's who are about to become parents by adopting an egg abandoned by its mother [Music] do you have anything to say gay rights yesterday I read this article and it just made me so happy I particularly love this quote we are sure they would be good parents because they were so nice to their Stern who said femoris aren't family cars because air from the grill is diverted out those channels that baby will be launched out at sufficiently high speeds fantastic [Music] [Music]

Channel: BrainyDude

Views: 59,915

Rating: 4.9486237 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, posts, tumblr top posts, top posts, tumblr stories, madlads, brainydude, funny tumblr stories, funny tumblr posts, tumblr posts, funny, reddit, subreddit, Tumblr top posts, reddit top posts, clumsy, comment awards, Best of reddit, top posts of all time, r/tumblr, memes, dank doodle memes, best of reddit, tumblr awards, tumblr memes, askreddit funny, askreddit, reddit stories, reddit memes, funny reddit, best memes, tumblr wumblr

Id: -DUrEK9QBuA

Length: 10min 1sec (601 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 22 2019