TUMBLR POSTS V304

john f kennedy my wife is making me do this stupid parade someone kill me now please is this real yeah you can tell it's a tweet from the 60s because of the aging [Music] got a really good idea for a dnd character i'll never get to use you can't say that and not share your idea it's a talking horse you'd think this come with some kind of magical backstory about getting turned into one but turns out they were just born that way you find out their mother was a centaur therefore there is a horse-headed minotaur and they have a sister who's a perfectly normal human they're a rogue slash flat because nobody ever suspects a horse is the culprit you're an orc guard in a fully garrisoned and protected fortress two miles into a mountain you're standing post and suddenly you hear a knock outside the door you know you're not authorized to move from your post but your curiosity overtakes you and you open the door a horse is standing there as your brain races to think of some explanation for the sudden and unexpected presence of this horse it leans in and whispers no one will ever believe you how many points to intimidation is this worth car the f did the fire nation beat [ __ ] anyone their element can't douche to any of the others shoot fire at an airbender they blow fire back in your face now you got burn face a water then descends away but you and you defend with fire congrats dipsh now you've turned that attack into steam in your eyes at best or boiling water on your skin at worst you throw fire they throw rock you get it with hot rock wore over literally the only way the fire nation fought enemies was the slow technological vehicles drills and airboats and fuking ambushing people and it was mainly ambushing civilians against the geneva convention the fire nation's army is full of war criminals do you think they have the geneva convention in adler they don't even have geneva they don't even have geneva i hate the word fandom so much chubby f stop turning things into fandom i saw a post today about the bedroom fandom no it's king interior design sometimes people are interested in interior design it is not a fandom shut the f up i hate this website things are heating up in the anti-fandom fandom [Music] i like got this splatoon stuck on my ceiling and i'm not able to get it down you're not going to believe what object dislodged itself from the ceiling and began its descent to the floor creating a loud meaty slap sound upon impact waking me up in the tender hours of the night i think i'm gonna nap actually i didn't sleep super great sorry i'll see everyone when i'm up hatch you have the sleep shed you have a cat hatch i respect that i live my entire life by the philosophy of a cat sleep when tired play when bored eat when hungry show up to those who love understand your own value if someone touches you and you don't want them to make them bleed if you manage to run across this line without falling into any of the adjacent states they let you pee in the white house whenever you want i don't know why people call luigi the lesser brother he is a multi-millionaire with multiple homes who has been on just as many adventures as his superior brother mario and has on multiple occasions being called in to save mario it's bullsh propaganda and i won't stand for it anymore not to mention he actually it now has a personality and isn't suffering from silent protagonists and rome he's drenched in personality look at him go he's also got a bigger pp according to matt put and he's got a bigger pp according to matt put if i were a children's show animator i would simply not be a pervert thanks to sucker oh i forgot this is dead gonna be the funniest thing if you change your earl when i woke up this morning my first thought was no one visits my grave anymore and i was really sad for a few minutes so i lay on my bed with my eyes shut and then all of a sudden i opened my eyes and was like wait i don't have a grave what the f you were possessed find the spirit that possessed you and visit their grave you jackass [Music] you know when you're eating a sandwich and you go to take a bite and like a huge chunk of your favorite part just slips out like say you're eating a bit and you accidentally pull out a whole piece of bacon and you're torn because on the one hand that bite is going to be the best bite ever but on the other hand the rest of your sandwich just lost a valuable team player three minutes into the game and no one's sure how it's going to be able to cover that loss who knew my most popular text post of the year would be about eating a sandwich i did not order this box of cat how are you complaining look at its face it's literally making the face high school teachers if you don't show up with a dress and full makeup or a fitted tuxedo to class every day to college your professors will execute you college professors i once had a professor slam a thermostan on his desk and say to us there's more pressure in my sinuses right now than there is at the bottom of the sea this thing's full of nyquil i'm going to drink it while i teach and when your heads are replaced by swelling rainbows i will cancel the rest of class the class ended up being 17 minutes long your professor was trying to fight god oh you're using an ad blocker we here at multi-billion dollar corporation work really really hard in our mom-and-pop shop to make this website and rely on ads for pp wars to operate fully will you whitelist us one yes i will i love you too no i'm a piece of sh bottom feeding scumbag who eats to do and picks my nose and i deserve to be publicly executed i went through an entire character arc during quarantine i became more evil if you're curious one of my biggest fears is that one day i will be standing in front of a microwave waiting for my hot pocket to heat up and my microwave will suddenly explode impaling me instantly with shrapnel apparently this is more eligible than i thought whole leash modern brain he warm food medieval brain magic hot box will kill me if i don't kill it first gods but they have patreons pledge at least one dollar per month to be counted as a follower for five dollars per month you get free coffee and bagels at the local place of worship for 15 per month they'll answer at least one one prayer per month okay i hate to intrude but didn't this happen and isn't it why martin luther wrote his 95 thesis me being raised on 90's internet rules we're telling someone online your favorite color was giving out too much personal information watching gen z youtubers give out their real first and last names and telling everyone the exact city and apartment complex where they live watch me roll up to the picnic with my bag of wet fruit this is how they make lacroix blonde hair is so romanticized and sought after and brown hair is considered clean but consider with actually got eyebrows anonymous asked you i'm blonde and your post is so rude i'm literally blondes away prettier at least brunettes have eyebrows gets in my little clown car gets in with you gets in with you gets in with you gets in with you gets in with you gets in with you gets in with you you ever meet a kid socially you're immediately like i want to adopt you as my own so i can instill into you the values of dignity and compassion and respect for self and others that your guardians have so obviously neglected so that you may escape the unhappy future that lies ahead of you with all the smoldering ashes of wasted potential but also like i punt you like a football drop the vape you little turd i'm gonna take an active interest in your passions and buy you pants outfit when was your last dentist appointment you wanna go to summer camp and then you didn't did you want me to kidnap a child i need a superhero who teaches fems after so specifically so they can make their own costume but then enjoys it so much they start getting into cosplay in their spare time edna's origin story holy sh edna mode is absolutely an ex-superhero who gave up crime fighting to pursue her passion for fashion airports are weird like i'm dressed like it's 95 drinking wine and there's a dude in a three-piece suit next to me someone in pajamas someone who looks like they are going to the gym after this and like a million button-up shirts update i'm hammered second update i'm sober now but very [ __ ] tired and in a different airport additionally i have no idea where the f i am important information i'm fairly sure dow glass adams was just [ __ ] paged what the hell have you checked if you're alive buddy i haven't cared about blood pumping through my veins since 1920 you just gotta move on and do your own thing so you're saying there's a chance you're tumbling your airport adventures from the afterlife i'm saying it doesn't matter because i have access to the internet this entire thread is a big mood [Music] do you

Channel: BrainyDude

Views: 39,138

Rating: 4.9617119 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, posts, tumblr top posts, top posts, tumblr stories, madlads, brainydude, funny tumblr stories, funny tumblr posts, tumblr posts, funny, reddit, subreddit, Tumblr top posts, reddit top posts, clumsy, comment awards, Best of reddit, top posts of all time, r/tumblr, memes, dank doodle memes, best of reddit, tumblr awards, tumblr memes, askreddit funny, askreddit, reddit stories, reddit memes, funny reddit, best memes, tumblr wumblr

Id: sz_5sYqji4A

Length: 11min 10sec (670 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 20 2020