Tucker: This is how dumb CNN is

good evening and welcome to tucker carlson tonight we're going to start with an obvious observation that's what we specialize in it feels like this country is losing control of inflation it feels like it's getting worse in dallas over the weekend a bottle of water was going for eight dollars that's water which we used to get for free from the sky now eight bucks and people are paying it too if you were thirsty in downtown dallas on saturday morning it didn't really have a choice this is not a small development inflation will make this country poor and it will do it faster than anything else will anyone who doesn't understand that intuitively is an idiot or is irresponsible or both if you think covid or climate change or police brutality or iran is a bigger threat to the united states and the devaluation of the us dollar then you by definition should not be making meaningful decisions you're a so with that standard in mind let's check in with our friends over at cnn to see what they're covering today on their news channel oh it looks like they're planning a palace coup at the white house just another day in washington turns out cnn's researchers have discovered that joe biden is elderly and unpopular breaking news and therefore he's probably not the best vehicle for the ambitions of the democratic party going forward obviously biden isn't going to serve two terms so as a public service cnn has assembled a list of people who should replace joe biden it's all pretty amusing when you think about it apparently somebody in cnn's math department finally finished the complicated calculations and concluded that joe biden who's already had two cerebral aneurysms will be 86 years old by the end of his second term wait what 86 years old cnn had no idea joe biden was that old didn't tell us about it either clearly this is not going to work time for someone new that's what they're saying and honestly as you watch this you can start to feel a little sad for joe biden he's been in office less than a year and already his own supporters are measuring his coffin but of course they are this was always going to happen professional democrats are not sentimental people they're stony-hearted realists joe biden has served his biological purpose he stopped bernie sanders in the primaries he made america safe for private equity carried interest is still in the tax code mission accomplished so it's time to pull joe biden off the stage before he gets even older and less popular that's what they're thinking it turns out supporting joe biden was never about any specific ideology we on the right fell for that one but these people have no interest in principles or ideas loyalty is a foreign concept to them they care only about power it's kind of scary really thankfully this same group is also stupid stupidity is their one redeeming quality if they were smart they take over the world they're certainly ruthless enough but thank god they can't do that because they're too limited by their own bigotries and their tiny intellects how dumb are these people well they assume that everybody else is just like them and that's always the hallmark of true stupidity these are the geniuses who believe salvador and immigrants want to be called latinx they can believe that because they don't talk to salvador and immigrants they only talk at them so they have no idea that the average salvadoran has social views that are so terrifyingly right-wing they would be banned on twitter instantly assuming salvador and immigrants actually use twitter which most of them don't because they're smarter than cnn anchors remember nancy pelosi was out there a couple of years ago talking about ms-13 when they were terrorizing salvador and immigrant communities and she was assuring us they were little angels they're children of god she said cena never sent a camera to an actual salvadoran community to ask what they thought of ms-13 the people terrorized them what do you think we do with ms-13 well cut them into small pieces and feed them to the dogs that would have been the answer didn't see that on cnn what's their views on the trans community have to wonder do not put that in the air either cnn hasn't even thought about doing those interviews because they assume they don't need to the people seeing believe that everyone who didn't vote for donald trump must have the same opinions and concerns as the average dingbat trusteefarian and bozeman they imagine a world populated entirely by people like themselves college-educated liberals with empty personal lives and thank god they're wrong a world like that would be as sterile and bossy and anti-human as the white house press secretary imagine eight billion gensakes horrifying but in reality humanity is far more interesting and far more yes diverse than that not that cnn has caught on nor do they have any idea how unpopular they are most americans are not racist no matter what you might hear but an awful lot of them secretly do hate the nasty uptight self-righteous entitled white liberals who run cnn and people like them if you were to ask your average truck voter who do you really dislike no not that anyone would ever ask them that because nobody cares what they think but if you were they'd probably say to the cnn camera crew actually i'm not mad at black people i'm mad at you dislike of that group of people the people of all the power in this country is probably the deepest well of prejudice in the united states and of course it's totally justified does cena know that no of course they have no idea wait till you see their list of replacements for joe biden each one is tailor-made to appeal to the dingbat trustefarian in bozeman and no one else first on the list of course is kamala harris and that makes sense she's the vice president the problem is nobody likes kamala harris no one has ever liked kamala harris from her earliest days on the playground to her high school years in canada to right now which is december 15 2021. why is kamala hair so unpopular because here's what she's like and is that a socialist or progressive perspective no the value of educators when they had pregnant kids [Applause] it actually was mike pence on the debate stage but and said where is apparently it left me like a block behind i'd fallen out the stream [Applause] and i looked back up and i said freedom [Laughter] so kamala harris is a charmless phony who has such total and utter contempt for your intelligence that she fully expects you to believe that her fake life is real and that's bad but honestly it's not necessarily a deal killer in politics no one ever called richard nixon charming yet nixon won the biggest presidential landslide in american history in 1972 so what's the difference the difference is richard nixon was competent he had skills he could do things kamala harris doesn't and she can't kamalaires is totally incompetent she's zero skill she's never done anything harris can't redecorate her own office she tried recently and she made it uglier so this isn't going to work we'll have to take kamala harris off the list sorry so how about pete buddha judge he's on the list of course everyone at cnn loves pete but a judge he's just like them except a little spicier and much more glib until a few years ago pete but a judge dated women now he's openly gay and a father and reads the atlantic magazine and uses unintelligible buzz words many many unintelligible buzz words in fact unintelligible buzz words are pete but a judge's entire vocabulary you want to talk like pete but a judge is not hard take a phrase or issue any phrase or any issue and add the word racism bingo you have a promising future in the democratic party do you think that people who support president trump and his immigration policies are racist anyone who supports this is supporting racism our health care system is burdened by racism we know that our housing is burdened by racism our schools are burdened by racism yes the uniform is burdened by racism but it goes far beyond that it is a matter of concern for every american that we dismantle systemic racism before it ends the american project in our lifetime oh and rhodes are racist too certain kinds of people love this if cnn anchors could do science which of course they can't but if they could pete but a judge is the candidate they would create in their basement lab road scholar mckinsey consultant no actual achievements of any kind people to judge couldn't even run south bend indiana he tried couldn't and that's not really surprising but a judge has never shown any interest in improving the lives of actual people his only real skill is talking about himself every presidential election cycle you see someone like this democratic candidates who are in effect media creations new york times pretends they could actually get elected but no every election cycle the voters laugh at these people ask beto he's been there so pete but a judge is off the list but in his defense whatever but a judge's fault at least he's not elizabeth warren elizabeth warren is the candidate for voters who find kamala harris too authentic combo's just too real for me i'd rather have the manufactured version someone who pretends to be saying american indian so if that's you if that's what you're looking for you're gonna love elizabeth warren here she is drinking beer with the man she claims as her husband just like a totally normal american totally normal watch this hold on a sec i'm gonna get me um a beer hey whatever my husband bruce is now in here um you want a beer i'll pass on the beer for now i'm gonna pull this doodle and sit down i'm gonna get me a beer oh are you now elizabeth warren maybe you will but not in the white house that's not gonna fly the truth is if you're going to replace someone as old and familiar as joe biden is you're going to need someone fresh and new someone who's faults the country isn't already very familiar with maybe that's what cnn was thinking when they included illinois governor jb pritzker on the list unfortunately even if you've never even heard his name before jb pritzker's faults are just too obvious to ignore pritzker may be the only elected democrat in america who is unhealthier than joe biden a couple of years ago pritzker broke his leg and then admitted he had no idea how he did it he hasn't seen his leg since 1993. now we're not judging obviously but is this really the president you need during a covid pandemic jb pritzker is a walking underlying condition plus and not incidentally he has destroyed the state of illinois almost 13 million people live in illinois though thanks to jb pritzker there are far fewer them every day but cnn did not bother to interview a single one of them so go ahead and wish jb pritzker the best but don't count on seeing him in the white house anytime soon but if you're still fixated on replacing joe biden with a governor cnn has a few more ideas for you cnn is recommending gretchen whitmer of michigan and phil murphy of new jersey now you read that and you pause and you begin to suspect that maybe this whole list is cnn's stealthy attempt to test you to see what you will believe how ludicrous can they write it phil murphy phil murphy almost lost his job just last month he was nearly defeated as an incumbent democrat governor in a state that has a million more democrats than it has republicans how much do people in new jersey hate phil murphy that's how much they hate him but now he should be president come on it feels like some pothead intern at cnn just pulled up the wikipedia entry for democratic governors and then copied their names into the story that's got to be what happened how else did gretchen whitmer make the list come on now you should also know that cnn recommends a former mayor that would be mitch landrieu of new orleans now you'll be excited about this if you think joe biden's hair plugs aren't quite absurd enough otherwise huh actually mitch laner was a perfectly nice guy it's charming and friendly but the question is how's new orleans doing these days is it cleaner is it safer is it a better place to live how are the schools come on if you've been there you know on the other hand if mitch landrieu is going to make the list then why not bill de blasio why doesn't bill de blasio replace joe biden he certainly has got the time to do it he's unemployed this could be bill de blasio's chance to turn all of america into penn station what a campaign slogan that would be de blasio 2024 make america filthy again we can't wait for cnn's endorsement of that no doubt it's coming so at this point we're getting toward the bottom of cnn's biden replacement list and that's where we find the name of one stacey abrams abrams was once a state representative in georgia now she describes herself as a quote voting rights activist whatever that is electing stacey abrams president of the united states would amount to the single largest act of equity ever committed in the modern era unfortunately would also signal the end of the modern era you know exactly the kind of country you would get with stacey abrams in charge is she unqualified for the job oh of course she's unqualified but she's also when this is an extra bonus totally delusional to this day more than three years after the fact abrams have never conceded that she lost the georgia governor's race she still claims that election was stolen from her but wait a second you ask isn't that an attack on democracy when you challenge an election result in this country you are as liz cheney often tells us shredding democratic norms you might as well be living in moscow at that point because you my friend are doing the bidding of vladimir putin you're an insurrectionist and yet stacy abrams is not living in moscow she's living in atlanta in pretty luxurious circumstances actually all made possible by the huge amounts of cash she has raised fighting for quote voting rights a few years ago abrams spent nearly a million and a half dollars on residential real estate for herself despite owing the internal revenue service 54 thousand dollars in back taxes now that is equity in action so once again you know precisely who stacey abrams is but still there is something about her that's not quite as repulsive as the rest of the people on cnn's list say what you will about stacy abrams she's not synthetic she's no pete buddha judge who was clearly implanted with some kind of neo-liberal master chip when he worked at mckinsey must stop climate change now no stacy abrams isn't really like that she's a grifter obviously but there is still a spark of recognizable humanity within her she's clearly got an active personal life here's an excerpt from the softcore porn novel she wrote called hidden sins [Music] their tongues tangled danced and she reveled in the movement she splayed eager palms against his chest and tormented the flesh she found there too far away she gripped his waist to pull him closer until she stood cradled between his hard thighs that voiceover comes from our highly talented producer mr alex mccaskill but imagine stacy abrams doing the same thing imagine stacy abrams standing on the west front of the capitol building three years from now at her inauguration reading her own words from hidden sins as she faces the slender but rigid washington monument somehow strange as it sounds we can imagine that in fact we can imagine it vividly cnn would be thrilled by the whole thing and we know for certain that jeff toobin would cover it i'm steve ducey i'm brian kilmeade and i'm ainslie earhart and click here to subscribe to the fox news youtube page to catch our hottest interviews and most compelling analysis

Channel: Fox News

Views: 4,225,466

Keywords: cnn, democrats, left, mainstream media, carlson, fnc, fox news, fox news channel, fox news media, fox news network, fox news voices, tucker, tucker carlson, tucker carlson monologue, tucker carlson monologue tonight, tucker carlson tonight, tucker monologue, tucker monologue tonight, tucker reacts, tucker tonight

Id: IRJpIwBGT40

Length: 15min 54sec (954 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 15 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/ItsEntirelyPosssible]

His boi trump shouldnt have made money machine go brrrrrrrrr so fucking much.