Trump Holds Superspreader Rallies And Whines About Covid While Joe Biden Offers A Competing Vision

[Music] hello ladies and gentlemen welcome to a late show i am your host stephen colbert folks the 2020 election is just one week away mark your calendars and then get a better calendar because it should be on there already on november 3rd i will have a live live election night special over on showtime and yes because it is pay cable i am willing to do full frontal nudity as long as it is tasteful in keeping with my character and forwards the plot of the results from pennsylvania which i hear is going to be a close shave which i will also need before the full nudity so far biden is ahead in the polls and in the early voting and apparently the secret to biden's lead is that people find him likable okay so people like biden because he's likable fascinating though to be fair anyone can seem likable next to donald trump well almost anyone but the biggest news in the election is the coronavirus and things are only getting plagiar and i'll tell you all about it in tonight's edition of catch a third wave endless bummer i'm rounding the turn dude i just keep talking and he stays there okay in the past week i wasn't sure the u.s averaged over 70 000 new cases a day the most in any seven day stretch of the pandemic it's especially bad in swing states new infections are raging in wisconsin things are so bad in wisconsin that it's changed its state motto from forward to stay back trump's pandemic approval rating in badger state has dropped from 51 in march to 41 in october and his rallies could backfire even more polls show that holding rallies in defiance of coronavirus health recommendations has fueled voters disapproval of his handling of the pandemic apparently voters are not responding to his campaign's closing message let the maskless man spit on you it's it's clear message the virus surge could have a big effect on trump voters so far 66 million people have voted early in fact projections indicate the majority of ballots will be cast before election day for the first time in history as ben franklin so wisely put it early to bed and early to vote get him out of the white house before he digs a moat most of the early voting has gone to the democrats and on the other side trump has spent months warning his supporters against voting by mail so the gop is essentially betting all of its chips on a strong election day he's taken all of his chips and putting it all on black people not voting but they have already in massive numbers and the disparity in early voting means that trump needs a huge turnout on election day in the middle of a surging pandemic it's the last act of trump's death cult all right children of magga put on your nikes fill your thermos with kool-aid and go vote then i promise we all board the spaceships to the comet herman cain we'll see you soon now biden is getting a boost from one of his former rivals billionaire mike bloomberg seen here in fun size for halloween bloomberg has been paying for pro-biden ads in florida and this week bloomberg will be funding a last-minute ad blitz in ohio and texas but he'll be reaching out to texas voters with his trademark texas style howdy and hello fellow cowpokes as you can see from this powerpoint your texas longhorn steers are a wonderful source of pastrami next slide last night at the white house they held a confirmation of everything we've ever thought about them for more on this story we go now live to the inevitability desk [Music] [Applause] welcome to the inevitability desk i am and always was going to be stephen colbert huge day for the inevitable we can project water is wet death comes for us all and last night judge amy coney barrett was confirmed 52-48 which means donald trump now has as many supreme court appointments as he's had wives and unlike trump wife these positions last a lifetime this has been the inevitability desk back to me steve thank you stephen now not everything about baron's confirmation had to happen the way it happened because after the senate vote barrett went to the white house for a hastily thrown together swearing-in ceremony and boldly political photo op with president trump which is not normal a member of the supreme court hasn't behaved this inappropriately since justice kennedy appeared on the bench wearing a t-shirt that read it's not a gavel it's a chick hammer amy coney barrett joining the court could let conservatives limit voting in the election but on the bright side they're already doing that because yesterday along ideological lines the supreme court rejected a request to extend wisconsin's deadline for counting mail-in ballots a decision which could disenfranchise up to a hundred thousand voters or as the conservative justices called it a good start [Music] vintage lawyer joke slam this was a dumb ruling during a pandemic when many americans are voting by mail just to stay safe but the dumbest part came from supreme court justice kavanaugh seen here arguing the case of brett v bartender who cut him off kavanaugh ruled against letting all the votes be counted citing the supreme court's decision to arbitrarily cut off voting and hand the white house to a republican in 2000's bush v gore that case is the worst thing to come out of 2000 and a lot of bad things happened that year we still never got to the bottom of who let the dogs out reopen the cold case apparently justice kavanaugh has graduated did you like that joke over there did you like that one i did too you know i did too apparently justice kavanaugh has graduated from local microbrews to huffing paint thinner because in bushfigure that court specifically said our consideration is limited to the present circumstances which means this ruling could not function as a precedent well i guess it's too much to expect brett kavanaugh to listen to someone saying stop don't do this in his opinion kavanaugh wrote that states who try to count ballots that arrive after election day could be hit with chaos and suspicions of impropriety hey brett have you looked out the window chaos and impropriety is the 2020 prom theme three weeks ago some pretend militia yahoos plotted to kidnap the governor of michigan and we're like oh yeah that happened one person who wasn't having any of kavanaugh's argument was justice elena kagan seen here imagining a 13-member supreme court in her descent kagan wrote justice kavanaugh alleges that suspicions of impropriety will result if absentee ballots flown in after election day and potentially flip the results of an election but there are no results to flip until all valid votes are counted exactly if we don't count all the votes we're not declaring a winner we're just saying who's ahead at midnight there's a reason you never hear a baseball announcer say hey is the bottom of the eighth base is loaded all tied up tampa bay three los angeles three it's a hit a long fly ball and let's call it there folks we're willing to project the dodgers gave me my job so they win hey wisconsinites looks like brett kavanaugh doesn't want your mail-in vote to be counted in madison or milwaukee or oconomowoc or waukesha or oshkosh bagash so you make your voice heard anyway drop off your ballot in person to learn how visit our site better know ballot dot com slash w i which of course stands for we the people speaking of votes the candidates out there on the road are trying to get some today trump was in michigan for one of his super spreader rallies and before he took the stage cnn gave this cogent analysis jeremy president trump has to hope that the blue wall isn't uh rebuilt along the great lakes is that behind his travel plans today yeah there's no question brianna first of all excuse the volume levels here we've got ted nugent on guitar in the back here playing a rendition of the national anthem but as for the president's campaign schedule he will be traveling to three states today he's gonna be here in michigan i can't believe cnn put that on air as analysis of what's happening and i can't believe how perfect it is as an analysis of what is happening because i think that clip captures exactly what's going on inside our skulls right now we're all trying to figure out what's going on maybe listen to that quiet voice telling us the right thing to do but donald trump is trying to drown all that out with cat scratch fever after his non-stop rally schedule you can tell trump's getting pretty tired to get him on stage in michigan they evidently had to lure him there with a honey glazed podium what the hell is going on was was rudy his opening act the last week of the campaign is traditionally when candidates crisscross the country making their closing arguments to american voters and today these two candidates struck slightly different tones biden gave a speech in georgia in a place called warm springs which is also how you could describe trump's mattress in that russian hotel room [Music] one more for old time's sake while trump was in lansing michigan let's hear their competing visions for this historic american moment over 225 000 people have lost their lives to a virus many of those lives lost in the cruelest way possible covent covent covenant covey kevin cook covert covent coleman coleman too many among us spend more time shouting than listening more time fighting than working together more time demonizing and denigrating others than lifting them up aoc plus three who knows less about this stuff than any human being on earth but she does have a good line of crap well once more become one nation under god indivisible a nation united a nation strengthened a nation healed without tivo television is useless okay two slightly different candidates but somehow somehow the american people have to listen to that quiet voice in their head and choose the better man and maybe just tivo the other we got a great show for you tonight dr sanjay gupta is here but when we come back meanwhile join us won't you [Music] [Applause] you

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

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Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: AgxaZHt_iPk

Length: 12min 0sec (720 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 28 2020