♪ Holla at ya boy, I'm
at the 7-Eleven parking lot ♪ ♪ Patron and La Croix,
well into my 30s ♪ ♪ And still permanently lit ♪ ♪ Yeah, I'm not good
at this adult shit ♪ ♪ I've been a grownup
for a long time now ♪ ♪ Can you help me tie this tie?
Because I don't know how ♪ ♪ All of my friends
have good jobs, houses ♪ ♪ Pensions and stocks ♪ ♪ But moving on
is an achievement ♪ ♪ I can't seem to unlock ♪ ♪ My clothes are all arranged
in a giant pile ♪ ♪ I think my cat is dead
in there ♪ ♪ 'Cause I ain't seen him
a while ♪ ♪ Wear clothes four days
in a row ♪ ♪ Smoke cigarettes in
the shower, when I was a kid ♪ ♪ By now, I thought I'd work
at Nintendo Power ♪ ♪ If you invite me out
to something, I'm probably ♪ ♪ Gonna pass, tonight
is the high school reunion of ♪ ♪ My senior class, they're all
talking 'bout their children ♪ ♪ Wives and career paths,
while I'm at home high as hell ♪ ♪ Making dick castles
in Minecraft ♪ ♪ I call this beauty
the Wang Trade Center ♪ ♪ It gets hit by penis planes on
the 'leventh of Schlongtember ♪ ♪ And never forget,
better yet, always remember ♪ ♪ Not a single penis plane
hit Tallywhacker Seven ever ♪ ♪ Jizz fuel cannot melt
steel boners ♪ ♪ But insurance paid off double
to their Bilder-balls owner ♪ ♪ I know that was
a sophomoric rhyme ♪ ♪ But that is not all
that I'm doing ♪ ♪ With the years of my prime ♪ ♪ I also run a forum ♪ ♪ For hentai
of Land Before Time ♪ ♪ This is Littlefoot and Ducky ♪ ♪ Engaged in a sixty-nine ♪ ♪ But it's embarrassing to be
this age and still start ♪ ♪ To sweat when someone asks
to use your laptop ♪ ♪ For the Internet, here we go ♪ ♪ This game is called
Autofill Russian Roulette ♪ ♪ And there's only three safe
letters in the alphabet left ♪ ♪ Oh, God, please don't let 'em
type a "Y" or a "P" ♪ ♪ Or an "X" or an "R"
or a "T" or a "B" ♪ ♪ Yo, on second thought, hey,
give that laptop back to me ♪ ♪ Angle the screen and
discreetly click Reset History ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ I'm not good
at this adult shit ♪ ♪ Holla at your boy ♪ ♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking
lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪ ♪ Well into my 30s,
and still permanently lit ♪ ♪ Yeah, I'm not good
at this adult shit ♪ ♪ Huh, maybe
I don't respect myself ♪ ♪ Taco Bell four times a week,
I don't do this for my health ♪ ♪ But I cannot eat
at home because ♪ ♪ It always makes me nauseous ♪ ♪ Brita filter
ain't been changed ♪ ♪ Since W. was still in office ♪ ♪ Yeah, take to the streets,
we running all this ♪ ♪ Doughnuts in the parking lot
down at where the new mall is ♪ ♪ So while you sit and watch TV
with your dumb wife ♪ ♪ And dumb baby,
I'm out there bombing the city ♪ ♪ And got the whole squad
with me ♪ ♪ Yeah, the squad's pretty much
just Raoul ♪ ♪ He speak English
not that good ♪ ♪ But he still
seems pretty cool ♪ ♪ He doesn't know it, but he's ♪ ♪ Probably like
my closest friend ♪ ♪ He lets me read magazines
without having to buy them ♪ ♪ Dinner at a gas station,
taking out some cash ♪ ♪ Eat an egg salad sandwich
standing over the trash ♪ ♪ Got so much garbage in the car
that I can't see out the back ♪ ♪ My entire grocery list
is just liquor and snacks ♪ ♪ Every day, when I wake up,
I eat a bag of sour worms ♪ ♪ Every day, when I wake up, I
eat a bag of sour worms ♪ ♪ Every day, when I wake up,
I eat a bag of sour worms ♪ ♪ Every day, when I wake up, I
eat a bag of sour worms ♪ ♪ It's time I grow up,
but I don't know how to start ♪ ♪ For Halloween, I gave kids
Nicorette and old Pop-Tarts ♪ ♪ Sleep with the TV on, 'cause
I'm not cool with the dark ♪ ♪ And I'll turn around and go
home instead of parallel park ♪ ♪ Friend's wife
is breastfeeding ♪ ♪ At brunch on the strip ♪ ♪ Put my shades on so they can't
tell I'm trying to see nips ♪ ♪ Still need to ask them both to
help me figure out what to tip ♪ ♪ Then take an Uber home
because it's noon and ♪ ♪ I'm pretty ripped, and
I don't know if it's heroic ♪ ♪ Or depressing as shit,
but don't think I'll figure ♪ ♪ Life out,
so I might as well quit ♪ ♪ And if you ever get tired
of trying to work it all out ♪ ♪ You know where
to come and find me ♪ ♪ If you want to hang out ♪ ♪ Holla at your boy ♪ ♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking
lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪ ♪ Well into my 30s,
and still permanently lit ♪ ♪ Yeah, I'm not good
at this adult shit ♪ ♪ Holla at your boy ♪ ♪ I'm at the 7-Eleven parking
lot, Patrón and LaCroix ♪ ♪ Well into my 30s,
and still permanently lit ♪ ♪ Yeah, I'm not good
at this adult shit. ♪ ♪ ♪
Don't you dare lie to me. How's the movie coming?
Why aren't there any good sketch comedies on tv anymore, and what's your opinion on sketch shows in general?
Trevor, how did the Pentagon's security system not manage to capture any photos or videos of the plane on 911?
One of my favorite things about your style of comedy is your subtle references to conspiracy theories. Are there any you legitimately believe?
notice me dad
I still bump the Dinosaur Rap when I'm in my friend's car.
I'm taking this all literally and you've confimed all my suspicions.
Do you ever get a chance to come out to Ohio for shows? Also do you ever get a chance to hangout with all the guys together? Story of Our Times has been great so far. I need to watch the special tho. :(