Totally Forgiving Ourselves Part2

I want to continue with the theme of totally forgiving ourselves this is part two of the subject we're dealing with a trilogy actually I wrote a book called total forgiveness and then a sequel totally forgiving in ourselves there's a third that I will deal with later on totally forgiving god I need to say something about that title that doesn't mean God is guilty of anything no it means we set him free and say it's okay that he allowed what he allowed which we may not always appreciate or understand but we impute to God perfect justice and perfect righteousness but I want to talk today about totally forgiving ourselves and we deal with a very interesting question the difference between true guilt and false guilt many years ago when I first wrote this book I sent the manuscript to two or three friends and I was amazed how many were more helped by this distinction between true guilt and false guilt that to them set them free more than anything else I'm not saying that will have the effect with you but the purpose of this talk is to help you to forgive yourself now this is for people and this is very very common who say I know God forgives me I know that Jesus died on the cross for my sins I know that his blood washes away my sins I know God forgives me but I cannot forgive myself well I'm not going to repeat today what I myself have been through I had to do this to my surprise late in life after I was retired from Westminster Chapel I had to deal with a problem of my own and I've dealt with that in a previous talk I won't go into that now but what I do want to deal with is this matter of false guilt and true guilt now true guilt is when we have sinned against God false guilt is when we feel bad about something but it's not sin it's not sin but here's an example of confessing true guilt I'm gonna read some from some 51 this as far as we can tell was the very prayer that David prayed after his committing adultery and murder here's the way he put it Psalm 51 have mercy on me O God according to your steadfast love according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin for I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me and against you and you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight so that you may be justified by your works and blameless in your judgment well David confessed his sin and this is an example of real guilt now somebody is going to wonder whether my own problem not being able to forgive myself because I was not a good parent because I put my family first sorry that's what I should have done I put my church first and my preaching first and my servant preparation first over the 25 years I was in London and the guilt that followed it's just enormous and I just felt terrible for it the question is was this true guilt or pseudo guilt well the word pseudo guilt comes from the Greek word pseudos that means lie in other words you feel bad you feel guilty but God didn't put that guilt there it either came from the flesh or it came from the devil but not from God but then the question is my own neglect of my family was a true guilt or false guilt I could tell you it was true guilt true guilt I said against God I can tell you now I did and I am so ashamed over it and I can tell you another thing my children have forgiven me and I will refer again later to Romans 8:28 all things work together for good to them that love God according to his those who love God those who are the called according to his purpose because I want you to know that if you have truly sinned and even if it's pseudo guilt by the way even that will work together for good but you've got this promise because God wants you to forgive yourself he does as a matter of fact how much enjoyment are you getting from knowing the fact that God forgives you if you are still carrying this burden around day and night because of something in your past you wish you hadn't done it if you could just turn the clock back when I finished our 25 years at Westminster Chapel I was asked by my publisher to write a book on those 25 years and the last chapter was entitled if I could turn the clock back well if I could turn the clock back I would have put my family first I believe with all my heart that had I put my family first I would have preached just as well but I can't get those years back until the guilt was tremendous almost overwhelming but I was able to forgive myself and I want you to be able to do that and one of the ways that might set you free is to realize difference between true guilt and false guilt now here's the thing as I said pseudo guilt comes from this Greek word pseudo that means lie remember Satan is a liar that's what he does he lies he's the father of lies and what he will do is play into your pseudo guilt he won't lie to you and he will try to deceive you and do everything he can to bring you right down well pseudo guilt that's when he makes you feel bad or something that wasn't really sin in my book totally forgiving it ourselves I tell about a Girl Scout 11-year old girl scout who had sold over 12,000 boxes of cookies said she had a record for it and they asked her what was her secret in selling so many Girl Scout cookies and she said I just look at them in the eye until they feel guilty well it will work but that is pseudo guilt another quote by dr. Henry Kissinger he said one of the advantages of being a celebrity is that if you're bored with the company they think it's their fault well it's an example where a person will have false guilt and think oh I'm not very interesting the person didn't enjoy being with me now I want to give some differences between true guilt and false guilt but let's make it clear true guilt is when there is sin false guilt sin is not the issue but although it is not a sin if we have false guilt it becomes a sin if we know it is false guilt but continue to accuse ourselves so an example of false guilt is worrying over what people think about you now at first at first that's not a sin did I offend this person did I hurt their feelings person will come up to me and say you walked right by me and didn't speak to me and I think oh I am so sorry or I think I might say I didn't see you I and then now they feel worse because they think oh I'm so unimportant he walks right by me doesn't even see me and then I feel worse than ever oh I remember going to see a man who had been asking me please come and visit me please come and visit me and I was feeling guilty I just didn't have time but finally I made the time and I went to see him and I stayed there over an hour and I thought well at least now I won't feel guilty anymore and so after an hour I said well I must go and he said leaving so soon I feel worse than ever I wish I hadn't gone but that's not guilt put there by God that's of the flesh and if I am NOT careful the devil will use that and bring me right down so when we lived in the Florida Keys of one of our Deacons at Westminster Chapel had bought to be a new motor for my boat we lived right on the water in Key Largo and I love to fish that's my hobby if I can we live in Tennessee now we live on a lake and I take the boys out on the dock and and they catch fish the point I want to make this deacon bought me this motor and I would sit and work on a book and see that boat out there at the dock and think I ought to be using that boat because that man paid a lot of money for that motor but I think I've got to get this book done because the publishers wanting it and then so I would go out and go out in the boat not so much to fish but to be able to say I'm using your boat and I would feel guilty if I didn't but then the whole time I'd be out fishing I'd feel guilty that I wasn't back working on this book because I need to get this done pseudo guilt that is not sin but if I let it go on and on and entangle me it becomes a sin so what we need to do is recognize the difference between true guilt which is when you sin against God and you're culpable before him and guilt that is that is not sin because you certainly don't want to hurt people's feelings but if you worry too much then the devil will get in now worrying about what people think of you you see can lead to serious sin the verse that I have sought to be governed by over the years is John 544 where Jesus gave the reason the Pharisees missed Jesus he the reason they missed their Messiah he said how can you believe who receive honor one of another and seeking out the honor that comes from the only God in other words we are to live before an audience and one we are to be governed by his opinion what he thinks he's watching he knows everything that we've done and it's watching us all the time and if I live to please him I'm living for an audience of one but at the same time if I heard a person's feelings I don't want to do that and I want not to do that but if I'm not careful I'll let this go too far and they care more about what they think than what God thinks so what we need to do is develop a sensitivity to what is sin and what isn't sin and false guilt is not sin but here's the thing the devil if you are driven by false guilt and he will use that if you're not careful to bring you right down and then it becomes a sin well here's the irony true guilt is the easiest to deal with false guilt is the hardest to deal with here's the reason if it's true guilt all you need to do is confess your sins confess them and when you confess them go 1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness it's done just like that you see God doesn't hold a grudge he doesn't say well how come you have taken so long to forgive me to confess that sin so that I can forgive you he's not going to say well where have you been no the sooner we confess it the better because he forgives right on the spot true guilt is the easiest to deal with false guilt is the hardest to deal with and so the wonderful thing God forgives immediately but false guilt won't go away well now why is it so hard to forgive ourselves well I can tell you the twin sins of self-pity and self-righteousness they keep us in bondage so self-righteousness this is the thing we feel like we must do something to compensate or we say well I know the blood of Jesus washes away my sin but I must show i'ma show how sorry I am and do this and before you know it you try to do things to compete with the blood of Jesus don't ever do that recognize that the blood of Jesus doesn't and washes away all your sin and if you're giving in to self-pity this is what it leads to you're feeling sorry for yourself all the time do you know what I hate to tell you this but self-pity gets you nowhere I'm sorry but it doesn't work you think that if you are feeling sorry for yourself that God's countenance want to come along and pat you on the back and say oh I'm so sorry for you that doesn't work there's a verse in James the wrath of man does it work the righteousness of God in other words what you're doing that's wrong you're Eggar your guilt your self-righteousness self-pity it's not gonna make God's start feeling sorry for you know it you must get over that at once get rid of self-pity and then when it comes to self-righteousness recognize that the blood of Jesus is all that God is looking for but then the question does come up and I want to deal with that what about the need for restitution what is restitution well that is making things right for example if you stole money and God forgives you do you get to keep the money that's a way I would have of putting it the answer is your forgiveness will not be forfeited but you will be plagued with more guilt than ever and in that case it is a sin to hold on to something like that and you can say all you want to that the blood of Jesus washes away all my sin but you you need to know right now that is not going to work with God and think that I can rob a bank and keep millions and then just say God I'm a sinner I'm sorry and you think you're going to be forgiven if you're sorry for your sins and you confess them if you're really sorry yes yes God forgives you but if you try to take advantage of his forgiveness and the blood by doing that which goes right against his holiness and his scripture I can tell you God will deal with you he will deal severely with you and the reason he will deal with you is because you've been purchased by the blood of Jesus he owns you and he can do what it wants to and I can tell you you're a fool dear friend if you think you can sin like that stealing or doing things that go right against what you know is holiness and sanctification and if you do this God will deal with you so never think that the past will work together for good just because you're a Christian now by the way Romans 8:28 let me read it or quote it carefully we know that all things work together for good to them that love God to them who are the called according to his righteousness love God that's present tense not once loved God or will of God know all things work together for good to those who love God that's present tense that in the here and now and the proof that you love God you will be thankful for what he's done the doctrine of sanctification is the doctrine of gratitude you're grateful to him and you show it by a holy life and in the case of restitution you must turn the money back or let's say you're holding a grudge against somebody I have to tell you when Jesus gave the Lord's Prayer and said if you forgive not men their trespasses your heavenly Father will not forgive you your trespasses this is not a condition for salvation because the can addition for salvation is the same you transfer the trust you had in your good works to what Jesus did for you on the cross the blood washes away all sin but if there is unconfessed sin or there's sin where you have stolen money or sin where you have abused someone and you know that you need to confess that you need to go to that person you need to apologize and make sure they know that you're different if you don't if you don't God will deal with you and there's no way I'm sorry but there'll be no way that you'll be able to have the joy of forgiving of God's forgiveness and forgiving yourself but in fact you have violated this principle well it's hard to forgive ourselves because we are so self-righteous so God wants you to live a holy life and if you're living a holy life in gratitude to God and you're trusting the blood of Jesus not your holy life to get you to heaven you are saved but if there are things in your past that need to be put right where you've heard a person severely abuse them whatever that has damaged lies you need to go to that person and put it right whether it's giving back money or apologizing or you will never have joy so this matter of self forgiveness is contingent upon living a godly life well not forgiving ourselves if we are Christians is competing with the atonement if we do not let the blood of Jesus do what it's designed to do but there's another reason we have trouble forgiving ourselves and that's because we've got an animator now I have already mentioned the devil and the devil knows your past it's for hard to forgive ourselves because we have an enemy who plays into our past remember what I would call the 3 R's of spiritual warfare recognize refused resist recognize refuse resist first of all recognize what is sin sin against God recognize that the devil is hounding you recognize him and next you refuse him you just will not listen to his lie just won't listen to him at all and then resist because the Bible says resist the devil and he will flee from you remember as I said earlier the devil does not want you to forgive yourself God does don't give the devil pleasure in seeing in that being you in that when you're being in that bondage now Romans 8:28 I call it the family secret why is that well it's because the Apostle Paul says we know that all things work together for good to them that love God to them who are the called according to his purpose we know who are the we what we in the family the family of God we know the world may say I don't believe that well we didn't think you would because those in the family believe it those outside the family can never understand how we can say all things work together for good to them look good to them who are a call to Corey's purpose you see we know by the way you may ask well how do we know that well two reasons first the Bible promises it and second the Apostle Paul uses the Greek word boy da knowledge you see there are basically two Greek words for knowledge one is you know skill and one is a dog makino schoo refer or gnosis refers to revealed knowledge theological knowledge that's from Ginoza or again ausco like God reveals things by the Holy Spirit and that's solid knowledge but that's not the word Paul uses in Romans 8:28 when he says Ottoman we know he uses a Greek word that means knowledge of a well-known fact we know that sky is blue we know that the Sun is hot it's hot in July if you're in the northern hemisphere it's cold in January or if you live in the southern hemisphere it's hot in January cold in July these are knowledge of the well-known fact the distance between Hendersonville where we live in Nashville roughly 10 miles knowledgeable well known fact in other words it's not revealed knowledge this is something everybody knows well we know well known fact because we learned by experience we've learned by experience and that's the word Paul uses he could have used the other word because we could say God reveals this to us but it doesn't use that word we have learned this and I can tell you this you put everything right to bring honor and glory to God you walk in the light that God gives you you honor the blood that Jesus shed on the cross and God will honor you with joy unspeakable and full of glory so whether it's restitution confession these things if you want your past to work together for good I've referred to my failure as a father you might like to know more a book of Joel says that God will restore the years which the locusts have eaten wonderful verse it's a way of showing that God will put things right well do you know what I don't deserve to have what I have but we moved from Florida to Nashville and at that time our son TR and wife Annette lived in Florida daughter Melissa lived in Dallas but it wasn't long till TR amused in Nashville our daughter moves to Nashville and not only that my son TR he now works full-time with me I don't deserve to get to heaven he's actually at my right hand right now you might like to know that this is our living room in our home in Hendersonville but because of the corona virus we're locked down and I began to get requests for my sermons and TRS turned our living room into a TV studio but the point I want to make here I am in my old age I'm 84 and my son TR travels the world with me and I don't deserve that I don't deserve that it's an example how God makes all things work together for good our daughter Melissa just 45 minutes away from here Louise mentions almost every day she says aren't you thankful that we have our family so close to us I'm just saying that all things work together for good to them that love God to them who are the called according to his purpose a principle we must never forget about Romans 8:28 the fact that something works together for good does it mean it was right at the time so sometimes a wife will say to the husband see there shows that I was right I told you so but now that doesn't mean that she was right God can make something work together for good so don't ever take credit and say well it shows I was right because look how it happened no that's what God can do give God the glory and I don't deserve to have my son travel the world with me I don't deserve to have our daughter so close and happily married just a few miles away but God is good and I want you to know whatever is in your past and I mentioned the other day when I first gave this introduce this program or this teaching you've let people down you fell into sexual sin you've had an abortion you're unfaithful in marriage you were sentenced to prison for a crime you abused your children you lied to your best friend you ruined another person's career you injured your health through carelessness you wasted years with the wrong company you gave wrong advice and hurt another person's future you waited so long to get right with God I'm giving just examples of what might be in your past the thing is God will make whatever is in your past work together for good that doesn't mean that it was right at the time don't ever think that because something has worked together for good that means it's right and one other thing when it comes to making that promise true don't try to make it true by what you do sometimes we say to ourselves well all things work together good I've got to do something make sure this happens and and make sure this works together for good don't ever try it perhaps you've messed up in a situation and you think oh dear I want to put this right and the Bible says all things work together for good and it's up to me to make this work together for good no it isn't if you try to make it work together for good it will get worse it will it will get worse it's not your job look let the past be past don't give the devil pleasure by working overtime to try to make something happen watch what God does he said vengeance is mine I will repay the Lord when it comes to vindication he will vindicate you if you have vindication coming and as for your failure leave it with God because that's the word he's saying to you right now whatever is in your past however bad God says leave it with me and as surely as you love God as surely as you are the called according to his purpose God takes over because the blood of Jesus is at stake his honor is at stake he's the one that's going to make it work together for good and you see the temptation is when something works together for good you you're tempted to to take the credit for it don't ever do that or don't do anything to try to make something happen now Romans 8:28 is designed to cover the past you need to realize that Romans 8:28 all things work together for good doesn't refer to the future it refers to the past you see the future if you say well I think I'm going to do this because it's going to work together for good you know what you're getting ready to do will be bad if you take that line and say well it will work together for good listen that's abusing this principle and God will deal with you and perhaps severely Romans 8:28 does not refer to tomorrow it refers to the past in two ways your pre-christian past and your post-christian past well pre-christian past that's things that happened to you before you became a Christian before you were converted God will see that all things work together for good but then there will be those who say well look my problem is not my pre-christian past my problem is my post-conversion past and it's since I've been a Christian that I've done things that I wish I hadn't done well some might say look it's only your pre-conversion past that we'll work together for good not your post-conversion past well I what say if that's the true Romans 8:28 would have no meaning for me at all because I was saved when I was six years old I can't remember much about my pre-conversion past but I can tell you this since I've been saved all those years ago oh there's so much so much that's wrong oh I'm so thankful that God says as for the past leave it with me well someone will say but wait a minute does it refer to your sins surely Romans 8:28 only refers to where you tried to do good but it didn't work out or some would say Romans 8:28 refers to accidents things that happen that will work together for good sickness will work together for good but somebody wants to know what about my sins what about my sins well they work together for good well I can only say if it doesn't refer to my sins Romans 8:28 doesn't mean much to me at all it's not my mistakes that worry me it's where I really failed God and I'm sorry and that's the wonderful thing when we love God that means we've repented when we love God that means we're not the way we used to be God says watch what I do by the way I'm looking at my notes here and I refer to Matthew chapter 1 verse 6 in my notes I wonder if you have read Matthew chapter 1 verse 6 lately hey you know we don't give a Gospel of Matthew to a new Christian because well it starts out with the genealogy so we don't want to get discouraged so we tell them remark Luke or John because if you start reading Matthew and you're a brand new Christian and you just say well let's see I'm gonna read the Bible Matthew chapter 1 the book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ the Son of David the son of Abraham Abraham was the father of Isaac Isaac the father of Jacob Jacob the father of Judah and brother did you you think what is this this is pretty boring yes until you get to verse 6 and look what verse 6 says Jesse was the father of David the king and David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah do you realize what's going on here do you recall that at the beginning of this program I read from Psalm 51 David's prayer after his sin you see what happened one of the saddest stories in the Bible every year when I go through my Bible reading plan and I come to 2 Samuel chapter 11 I think Oh wish I didn't have to read it I just want to skip on but then you want to skip several chapters because here's what happened David saw Bathsheba the wife of Uriah and David lusted after her and he used his powers King to get her to come and sleep with him and then she sends word a few weeks later we have a problem I'm pregnant and David knew that Uriah was in the battle all the time and there's no way it could be his child and so David does the unthinkable - just bring right to the ultimate point he had Uriah killed and now David had murder on his hands adultery on his hands and for a couple of years he got away with it and then Nathan the Prophet exposes it and says the sword will not leave your house it is probably the greatest sin in the Old Testament certainly in a sense what David went through it and yet David is called a man after God's own heart there was nothing right about what David did nothing right except for one thing David repented he repented and he was so sorry and that's why he said have mercy on me O God according to your steadfast love according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions wash me thoroughly from my iniquity cleanse me from my sin and that is David repenting and he's sorry for what he did and this is why I've been saying on this program today if you want to be able to forgive yourself it's not quite enough just to say I trust the blood of Jesus for my salvation if you want fellowship with God and peace and joy and you want to please the Lord you got to put things right David put things right and I want you to know the second half of the life of David shows him an obedient child and God was pleased with him and what we have here in Matt Matthew chapter 1 verse 6 is where we have the genealogy of Jesus Christ and when you think of how David had more than one wife God could have let abigail one of his wives be the the ancient ancestor but you know what God chose Bathsheba and in fact even says it in Matthew chapter 1 verse 6 Jesse the father of David the King David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah of all things if you didn't know the past if you didn't know the history and you just read Matthew chapter you would be inclined to say well I guess that's the way it was supposed to be no there was nothing right about what David did the fact that something works together for good doesn't mean it was right at the time David failed god it was a shameful thing but you know what when you read the first chapter of Matthew and read about the heritage the ancestry of our Lord Jesus Christ the Messiah lo and behold David's sin is covered by the blood of Jesus and a part of the genealogy of Jesus just to show just to show that all things work together for good you see this is why we have Romans 8:28 it refers not to the future but to the past and I can tell you as surely as your sins are forgiven and you love God all things work together for good by the way the question might be how good is good is there good better best well I know this when God created the heavens and the earth he looked over his creation and he said it's good and now we're talking about fallen creatures redeemed by the blood of Jesus when they mess up and they're forgiven we're told all things work together for good and if God calls it good that's good enough for me and he wants you to know that he knows your past he loves you he knows your pain he wants you to forgive yourself because he forgives you and walk in the light in a manner that honors him and I can tell you you will see that in your own case what has haunted you and hurt you will work together for good because we have a gracious God Heavenly Father asked you to take this word and apply this word by your Holy Spirit in Jesus name Amen

Channel: RT Kendall

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Id: jXZtfU1iBsA

Length: 42min 29sec (2549 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 25 2020