TOP TIER TUMBLR POSTS V140

i love my mother dearly but ability-wise she frightens me because not only can she find 24 leaf clovers within the span of like two minutes everywhere she can also write her name with both hands on a dry erase board or whatever at the exact same time and have both be a mirror image of one another to add to this i was making breakfast this morning and i hear hey milo look who came to say hello and expecting like a moth or a frog or something of that nature i turn and she's holding a snake yeah mars a witch be nice to her [Music] big deal jesus so your dad sent you here to suffer and die that's what all the rest of us are doing too i hate twitter [Music] no time for mansplaining this place is gonna blow actually it's going to collapse the bombs are only there to break the supports and compromise the structural integrity of the building so much that it collapses on itself you would need a much more powerful bomb to literally blow up the building from the inside out since most of the energy would just be absorbed by th marvel beaches be like mephisto this and mifisto that beach idgaf who you're fisting i'm watching one division for the milf [Music] oh hee feet do you ever sit there and wonder what life must be like for people without anxiety like they just do things without worrying about them first wow anxiety is an excuse i hope you walk barefoot on a world of legos for the rest of your life the first time tony stark had an anxiety attack he thought he had been poisoned think about that my boyfriend just woke up mostly still asleep and told me don't worry it's getting better in a heavy american accent which is unusual for an australian man why are you american i asked to which i got sorry it's getting better in a stereotypical posh english accent why are you english i asked amused what is he normally he managed to ask d you're not anyone else you're you ugh me was the last thing he said in a right proper rosie accent before he fell back into proper sleep i don't know what he's supposed to be sacred image look at this photograph [Music] brigade fertile pregnant one to three months pronoun four to five months prig on it six to seven months pregant eight to nine months pregnant overdue what about gregnant false pregnant concept you and i go to the aquarium for our first date you are nervous as you try to hold my hand but you accidentally knock the cracker out of my hand because you're a piece of crap and you don't use your eyes there goes my damn cracker look what you have done i run away screaming and never return your phone course it's been three years and you still write to me occasionally but i never answer where is my cracker apparently i drunkenly emerald craft the other night and asked when the first shapes mac and cheese came out i'm pleased to inform you all that it was in 1996 and they were in a maniac [Music] shapes [Music] sometimes i'm the bird and sometimes i'm the little girl [Music] oh every day men leave their homes with no bag no water bottle no lip balm no hand sanitizer no extra layer in case they get cold just keys and a wallet shoved into their pocket chaotic and reckless thanks obama this is why obama is not fit to rule america i love being at disney world when it rains because the week will leave and the strong will have five-minute wait times a truer text post has never existed oh no it's raining everyone leave the line for the jurassic park ride you'll get wet thank you for clearing the way for me peasants i remember in second grade i got a new purple sharpener and have this girl who i was friends with asked me to have it and i was like no my mom just bought this for me yesterday and she said if you don't give me the sharpener we are not friends anymore and i just said okay and she was like so you're giving me the sharpener and i was like why are you talking to me we are not friends and i wish i was still as savage as i was back then ask me how gay i'm for jesse graff hint as gay as her leg is high this is the coolest crab this is what the queen and prince philip look like [Music] fun fact melissa benoist has to have muscle padding in her supergirl suit so her silhouette looks like jesse's the actress has to adjust to match her stunt double which is rarely the case stop stop i'm already gay [Music] her arm looks so weird i can't stop laughing i love this picture of peter parker when he was a toddler this is peter parker current day start checking your facts before you post i just texted myself to see if my texts were working forgot i texted myself received that message and then replied to myself with who is this and then received that message two seconds later and was like whoa who is that literally the stupidest thing i have ever done [Music] frick you the raven edgar allan poe op change your freaking url [Music] tighten up whatever you humans have instead of bolts and let's get going fu weep clench your arseholes lads we're on the hunt for pirates [Music] baby girl you could be my webkinz milk cat if you ever think how white people act in horror movies is just a stereotype remember that my grandma used to work in an insane asylum and for fun during her downtime on the night shift she would wander around the abandoned tunnels under the asylum where eight people had died what the frick your grandma is metal as frick [Music] once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn't want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn't get to my kid so they just wandered around my house i'm talking about the sims please don't call the police me scrolling through my posts like a king mediocre mediocre mediocre ha i must show this post haste to mine betrothed mediocre mediocre mediocre parents still aren't home five minutes after they said they'd be home i must adjust to my orphan life one time my parents left me home alone when i was sleeping and when i woke up the power was out so the phones or anything wasn't working and i immediately assumed that somehow everyone on earth except for me had vanished so i panicked and baked 40 to cookies it's true your solution to apocalypse is baking the bean thief green bean the funniest part of macbeth is when the soldiers all cut a branch off a tree to hold in front of them while they march towards macbeth's castle in hopes that he will somehow think they are all trees and not an army the second best part is that it actually works first day of the semester this isn't so bad maybe i actually won't be an absolute mess this time around third day of the semester my favorite thing i've learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like the eight wins cannot move me blah blah blah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes fart or the ancient chinese equivalent on it and he was so mad he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says wow the eight winds cannot move you but one fart sends you across the lake [Music] a healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows open plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped relationships thrive in this environment keep your doors and windows open if this person is meant to be in your life all the open doors and windows in the world won't make them leave i bet it was a mosquito who wrote this [Music] beach just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents my boyfriend would be jet in hit with a baseball bat beside our bed if he ever woke up and said what is he normally about himself then he would not have liked the time he pointed to a corner of our room while he was sleeping and said they share a dimension with earth and they take cats to eat them i always would see these and wonder how it happens when you say swear to god and he bring his ear close to listen to the lie you about to tell [Music] exclusive beetles more popular than church teens want beatles not jesus frick dude they sure do this is the entire observable universe squeezed into one image forbidden donut dreaming about remy ratatouille's mushroom that got cooked to smoky perfection when the little rat got struck by lightning where's these so my vampire mutuals know what kind of snack i am t.i.l on the evening of july 16 1962 president john f kennedy joked he wanted to smoke cannabis so his mistress later brought him six joints to the white house after three joints he felt no effects but then closed his eyes and refused a fourth suppose the russians did something now he said jfk the sweden crap [Music] i don't think i've ever seen a picture that so fully summed up what it is to be a cat owner i want to know what this wikihow is about is that steven universe we are the crystal meth [Music] i think the best part of recent american politics was when trump had covered and was just making the most completely insane statements imaginable from being pumped full of like steroids and to be remorse some crap they say i'm immune i feel so powerful trump told the crowd in sanford i'll walk into that audience i'll walk in there kiss everyone in that audience i'll kiss the guys and the beautiful women i miss this i miss the part where it seemed like he was gonna die so lost in the sauce he turned by a poem where do you want to be in 10 years alarm no alarms this is a real dream this is a doorknob so you can feel like breaking someone's wrist every time you enter your home i just want a hand to put my genitals and that isn't my own there are apparently three types of people [Music] about my day let's focus on the wrong thing i'm really not a very angry person there's just a lot of rage inside me there's something terrible boiling bubbling under my skin ready to burst out of my chest but i'm a chill guy the panorama cat his name is squidward [Music] for some reason i have to dress like the most freakable person at the grocery store or i ain't going i'm going to go shower please watch the reactor core for me while i'm gone don't be mad but something happened at the reactor core daft punk [Music] very channel banana no it's a representation of how beauty is only skin deep you obviously don't understand the deeper meaning behind this photo of a bedazzled banana i'm kind of uncomfortable at the fact that they didn't peel it from the top tumbler everybody i like nice people that do illegal things a trader in turkey bought 36 million dollars worth of copper but then when it was delivered it turned out to just be rock's pain to look like copper eea nasa is that you he's immortal for personal reasons i'm gonna cause a ruckus [Music] godzilla married come the true ending [Music] howdy folks thank you all so much for watching episode 140 of top tier tumblr post i hope that you all enjoyed it again if you did feel free to drop a like comment and subscribe to the channel i'd really appreciate it if you would help us get to 12 000 subscribers i'd appreciate that i want to give a really big shout out to username here he is our first member of the tumblr central channel he has joined or he or she has joined the carl fan club so we have the first official member of the carl fan club i want to say thank you so much i really appreciate your support again if you have an interest in uh going the extra mile to support me and the channel you can find the opportunity right next to the subscribe button when you're watching the videos it's the join button if you were able to contribute i really really appreciate that it really means a lot to me so i want to just give you a shout out because it's the first one it's really a big deal and i really really appreciate it question of the day for everyone yesterday i felt bad because some people like myself a couple months ago hadn't played minecraft before so some of you were excluded from being able to answer what your favorite minecraft block is and so i wanted to do something today i'd be able to unite the channel that everyone could answer and i was trying to think of what a universal question might be first thing that came to mind is if you could live in one place and at one time what would it be that's a good question one place and one time so it could be in the future can be the past in the present and in any location on earth has to be on earth that's a good question for you all to answer i'm starting to feel a little bit better i hope that you all can tell this morning when i woke up i had like that raspy like sick voice going on and it's kind of started to fade out but i'm starting to feel better so thank you all for being worried about that i promise you i'm doing well i hope that you all have a wonderful morning evening afternoon night whatever time of day it is for you and i will see you all tomorrow episode 141 and another epic question of the day peace out guys [Music] you

Channel: Tumblr Central

Views: 11,880

Rating: 4.9599109 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, tumblr memes, dank memes, r/tumblr, top tumblr posts, hot tumblr posts, best tumblr posts, tumblr reads, tumblr trophies, cowbelly, tumblr awards, tumblr central, text posts, tumblr text posts, hot memes, best memes, top memes, cowbelly memes, dank, memes, meme, funny, lol, comedy, humor, best of tumblr, funniest tumblr posts, tumblr compilation, tumblr posts

Id: iE_7qES98Ns

Length: 15min 35sec (935 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 12 2021