TOP TIER TUMBLR POSTS V139

zoom class sense me who has not done any work the entire time and treated it like a podcast i'm free worst experience of my freaking life trickle down therapy when one person in your friend group is able to get therapy and teaches the rest of the group some of the strategies they have learned you know how someone can say i respectfully disagree what about i disrespectfully agree for when you hate someone but they are unfortunately correct the dumbest freaking thought i had while half asleep this morning villain i shall now use this machine to pinpoint the location of every person you love so you can watch as i freeze them with my evil mega ice ray hero wait no machine dings immediately showing the location of the villain villain um every time someone starts telling that they want to supplement their body with computer parts i'm just like okay great but don't cry to me when your memories of loved ones or your ability to run are locked behind pay walls you did it you broke super punk down to its bare essentials [Music] 10 30 me let's do a quick squid sketch 11 30 me what just happened i don't know if i should laugh or cry 10 out of 10 my friend family photo of my to brain cells and the thought that they worked so hard to produce [Music] the only people who get upset when you said boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none that's why they perceive it as a personal attack because your boundary encroaches on space they're used to owning eg yours [Music] sometimes i just get so freaking impressed by the term pre-raphaelite like imagine being so freaking important that anything that comes immediately before you is pre you boy you are not ready to hear about jesus [Music] unfortunately due to several experiences in my youth i cannot just walk up and join the circle of people talking but it does sound lovely thank you go ahead and mingle are four of the scariest words in the english language thank you and good night go ahead and mingle find the dog cat friendly looking houseplant to hide behind i do unironically love saying the before times when talking about covered if we are gonna be in a deadly pandemic we might as well talk like we're in bad yay let's allow ourselves that i have been referring to it as the event and everyone immediately gets it no one ever needs clarification no one asks what the vaccine is for either like we are living in zombieland middle-aged white woman whose entire personality is liking harry potter vs middle-aged white man whose entire personality is liking star wars fight they are dating and calling me slurs on twitter they also have a tinder where they beg for threesomes theorem i have a big mouth proof [Music] hate how they force bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s as if bugs bunny wouldn't love smoking weed to be perfectly fair bugs bunny would also love taking money for starring an anti-weed propaganda and then using said money to buy weed help i read that as in tea weed propaganda what i would give to eat lunch with my friends in school and peel the sticker off my fruit and put it on their clothes and say you cost 60 cents or you're a pair i miss that this almost has 100 notes are you guys okay we miss putting stickers on your friends too wait wait wait wait you know how dogs and cats like to chase balls and other toys when they are bored like how fetching and rolling objects around a smooth surface is an important way that pets add stimulate to their environment yes okay so this is why humans invented sports ball thomas the spank engine i think humanity in the middle ages was on to something when they allowed only priests to be literate it still freaks me up that an old schwarzenegger terminator was the governor of california from 2003 to 2011 wrote nine plus books has an active reddit account and marry jfk's niece [Music] these boots were made for walking [Music] you're white and you work at starbucks i bet you love cold brew don't you this ask makes me feel like a beast in a zoo having my biology facts read to a crowd of spectators i do but how do you know this the oompa loompas are a greek chorus first of all i hate this so much second of all imagine if the two switched places veruca falls into the trash chute chorus pray there no more for mortals have no escape from destined woe wisdom is the supreme part of happiness and reverence towards the gods must be in violet great words of prideful men are ever punished with great blows edipus stabs his eyes out oompa loompas oompa-loompa-doopty-doo i've got another riddle for you what do you get when you sleep with your mum a curse on your kids for decades to come i don't believe in the moral panic re-horror and i think more horror writers are generally normal people but there's definitely something wrong with stephen king did you know that world-renowned writer stephen king was once hit by a car just something to consider so i was hit by a car once he is not special if you die because i poisoned you how is that my fault like i'm sorry you aren't immune to my poisons i think that's genuinely something you need to work on fix yourself before blaming others you must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen [Music] actually strokes wool until finding light switch what a turn on get out why does everyone say get out when somebody makes a pun don't get out get in here and make more puns turn up the punts not once did it cross my mind that grew from despicable me was russian i just thought he was freaked up [Music] i'm a social vegan i avoid meat are you british you someone unfollowed me for this i think online class should be like among us there's an imposter that's not actually a student and tries to sabotage the rest of the class that's already how it is elaborate teachers women that wear men's cologne are hotter than god women are hotter than god water's so freaking good like glug beach lol this post always shoots up and notes around 2 am i'm onto you water loving fricks every day i wake up and attempt my silly little tasks while daydreaming about fictional characters behind every girl boss is another bigger girl boss they call this a pyramid scheme i think i think they prefer the term mlm i think you're thinking of wlw multi-level war cutting scheme [Music] yet another unrealistic expectation for women [Music] rippers don't believe it ripples go freak you're gullible ass if you believe this croc of crap for even a second you dumb beach ripple as it's not devils that vacate annoying men in classes are the backbone of our society i will never be able to thank you enough for wasting 20 minutes of class time and pointless dialogue with the professor while i go on my phone you vampire me an intellectual [Music] necromancer hope i'm not just a blog to you but a huge beach and mood ruiner as well [Music] rinse me brush me pamper me in my chambers and in the wet and dying final gasps of long-defined summer as you wash me in the porcelain sink awake what is your dream profession child of a rich person who doesn't have to do anything am i the only one who thinks people look hotter when they are in underwear and not when they are naked one it's this whole leaving it to the imagination thing that we humans like two genitals are freaking weird looking bro three have you seen olympic it's like a sad sea creature sad sea creature till one of the leading advocates of circumcision was john harvey kellogg inventor of the famous breakfast cereal he advocated the consumption of kellig's cornflakes to prevent masturbation and he believed that circumcision would be an effective way to eliminate masturbation in males did he ever think that people would masturbate looking at tony the tiger [Music] idk wild navy is literally always ahead of the game in terms of uncanny valley plus retail horror melon dramatic what are you doing with your life this makes me feel melancholy [Music] steve harvey said this morning if you going through hell keep going why would you stop in hell and that moved me even a broken clock is right twice a day wish i was a background character in a horror video game hm just coughed up blood probably nothing time to return to my job at the cdc where i'm treating animals for cough up blood and turn into evil goo disease [Music] i'm but a monster in a factory and god is the mcelroy wheezing fondly as he watches my horrible body clip through a wall art history is an endless loop of learning how fricked up and crazy every artist is art history professor will show you a painting of four oranges and be like the guy who painted this killed his wife [Music] did you know all the chicken models in chicken run were something around their neck they are usually scarves or pearl necklaces this was deliberate as they hid the visible scene between the head and body of the plasticine figures production staff was worried people would catch on and ask why this was they didn't frick i just assumed those chickens like to access a rise [Music] i just remembered how in middle school a bunch of boys would go around and tickle girls chins and shout balls on your chin and this guy i knew did it to this tiny quiet unassuming girl and like at the speed of freaking light she grabbed his arm and headbutted him directly in the nose and he passed the frick out [Music] angry man complains about nbc's gay logo change doesn't realize nothing changed this is a whole nother level of ignorance [Music] if you're wanting to bulk up this year but don't have time to get to the gym just fill a compression shirt with delicious foods till that the blob fish is actually a normal looking fish it just decompresses when you take it out of extreme depths imagine aliens discovering humans and nicknaming us after what we look like when we explode in the vacuum of space [Music] apparently in holland they were trying to do the world record for the longest domino chain and then a bird came in and knocked 23 000 of them over then they shot the bird and got fined because it was an endangered species if one story has described my life as much as this story has i'd like to hear it i remember until i was 10 i spelled saturn like satan and i went to a christian school and they called my parents because i rode satan a soft like a bunny and they wanted the priest to talk to me satan is glad you appreciate the effort satan uses garnier fructose to lock in moisture me trying to do my homework at 3am i've connected the two dots you didn't connect crap i've connected them [Music] come on barbie let's go party who are so is that a yes or a no trying to make plans with your friends [Music] if my calculations are correct biscuits and triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called manuscripts a singular skit just one an edible cracker with just one side mathematically impossible and yet here i'm launching on it this image is surrounded by negative energy fire lord obama leads the fire nation's first strike we've been smekladorfed you know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don't sing along no one will understand how much this just broke my heart this post got 500 000 notes because people think it's some profound observation but it's actually about my mother not singing along to fergalicious in the car because she was mad at me when you're trying to act normal in front of a group of people you barely know and someone mentions one of your special interests and i'm like no that's the thing i'm passionate about howdy folks i hope that you all enjoyed episode 139 if you did feel free to drop a like comment and subscribe to the channel i would really appreciate it exciting news i have officially created channel memberships for those of you that are interested in going the extra mile to support me i made a community post about it yesterday but i'm sure not all of you saw it so if you are interested in going the extra mile to support me going above and beyond i was i was also inspired by the union so the first one is i believe carl fan club it's 2.99 a month second is carl colt and i think that's four i think it's five it's either five or ten and then the third is red gang and i think that's 20 i don't remember exactly but it's all broken down so if you are interested in that i would really appreciate it if you would sign up for membership whatever you would feel comfortable with but if you can't i'm also very understanding and i still love you no matter what still working on the q a i don't think you have anything else to say that's the big thing that i had to say so for the question of the day this will be very very i feel like yes i feel like my best one yet is still the ghost one but yesterday a lot of people sided with me and chose water as the thing they would drink if they could have one thing for the rest of their life so you know i thought that was very interesting now i will ask you something that was asked to me in my last live stream uh what's your favorite minecraft blog i'm currently afk and minecraft at a spider farm so if you could only use one block in minecraft what would it be let me know i hope that you all have a wonderful morning evening afternoon night whatever time of day it is for you and i will see you all tomorrow episode 140. peace out guys [Music] you

Channel: Tumblr Central

Views: 16,125

Rating: 4.980237 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, tumblr memes, dank memes, r/tumblr, top tumblr posts, hot tumblr posts, best tumblr posts, tumblr reads, tumblr trophies, cowbelly, tumblr awards, tumblr central, text posts, tumblr text posts, hot memes, best memes, top memes, cowbelly memes, dank, memes, meme, funny, lol, comedy, humor, best of tumblr, funniest tumblr posts, tumblr compilation, tumblr posts

Id: xGiXuaZbvNU

Length: 15min 38sec (938 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 11 2021