Tony Robbins MASTERCLASS On How To CHANGE YOUR LIFE Today! | Lewis Howes

i said look where i am right now because i wouldn't assemble the story that my past equals my future the past only equals your future if you live there if you're using a rear view mirror to guide yourself you're gonna crash so what you've been through is horrific what you've been through is unjust i'm on your side but if you hang on to it i think you gotta have a dream the school of greatness yeah please welcome every time i get the chance to interview this is interview number four now for the show with you the last three interviews have done over 6 million views and changed millions of people's lives um we've done them on your plane we've been in hotels and now we're virtually here and every every time i get to interview you i i have a ritual you may not remember but i've telled the story of how i first saw you in person so i want to tell it really quickly so i set the context here about 22 years ago my dad bought myself and my mom tickets to an event that used to host that was like a big three-day conference success all these great speakers came actually um trump was there um larry king was there all these great football coaches it was in saint louis missouri and you came down on stage at one point i'm sitting about halfway back in the arena on the floor level and you came off stage and walked down i remember vividly there was a song don't worry be happy that was playing i don't even know if you remember this part of your experience you remember that yes you came down i mean i'm sure you you had this story at all your events but you came down off this song it came down you stopped right next to me i'm probably 50 yard line back in the arena so halfway back you stop right over me you don't look at me you look out you say something to the crowd i have no clue what you said but i remember the energy you poss you possessed in that moment and i was like i want to have that confidence one day and that energy and that that's that moment has stuck with me for the last 22 years so i want to acknowledge you for constantly being an inspiration to not only myself but millions of people around the world from your way of from your way of being the way you open your heart and the way you see other people so i really really appreciate your consistent your consistency over the four plus decades of work and my my first question is what is it like being a father of a daughter yes i i'm 61 which i can't even believe i'm 61 but thank god i feel better than i did when i was 30 physically and i've trained harder i'm stronger and psychologically better so yes i just have a brand new daughter i have five grandkids that are older than my daughter and i've got five kids in total my oldest is 54 and my youngest now is four weeks tomorrow so it's uh it's beautiful she's the greatest gift and she's a rainbow baby we tried so many different ways so we're just so so grateful to have her and um we're keeping her life out of social media i'm certainly mentioning her but we don't show her pictures and don't talk about her name just to give her a little bit of space from what the world is like where everybody's trying to get likes for something i don't want my daughter to have that habit so we're going to give her a little space there but it's very kind of you'd ask and there's no greater gift i'm you know anybody who's a father or a mother out there knows there's nothing anything else you experience in life nothing comes close what and what's the biggest lesson she's taught you in these first few weeks well she's already restructured my life like no one else has i mean i can sit there and hold her and obsess about her and i'll be like 40 minutes have gone by and i'm just staring into her eyes you know it's that kind of thing so she's put a little balance in me that's for sure and and you know also you know i've i like you i'm obsessed with being fit and strong and alive is required for what i do and to do it at the quality i want to do for 44 years plus and i'm planning to do it for a lot longer so but you know when i start thinking about her life i'm 61 i remember telling my wife i said i'm not having a kid after 50. i said i'm not going to be you know you know 80 years old with the kids high school graduation and so forth but now it's like for me to see her at 30 plus i got to be 90 plus so um i'm you know i'm well on my way to making sure that happened but it's giving me even greater incentives i love that uh for all the the young people here who are maybe they're they're just having their first kid and they're in their late 20s early 30s around that range what are the three habits or skills you wish you would have known then that you wish all of them start to learn at this age in their life it's a tough one because i think at every stage of your life you look at life differently so it's hard to tell someone in their 20s how they should be until they've experienced certain things there are certain things they'd just be words but if i was going to give a couple habits i'd say the first habit is to not judge yourself too hard because i think that's what young people do a lot and i think people do of all ages you know when you're 61 years old and you've lived as much life as i have a little less judgment of myself in this area uh you know it's not making everything life and death because then the kid feels that and it isn't all life and death you know uh well i've got to be honest i thought when my daughter's crying is like i hate anybody in pain you know if i was going to just pierce me and make life so difficult but fortunately never when she doesn't cry she's like i told my wife i don't know how this kid came from us because this kid is so zen she cries when she's got to go to the bathroom and there's got a diaper she cries when she's hungry but otherwise she's pretty zen but the cry even then is different for me now so it's not life and death i'm not hyper judgmental of it and then the third thing is decide what's most important that you want for your child the two or three most important things for me is that child feels so incredibly loved and for me not yet but as the child develops it's developing a sense that life is something that's calling to you to give something not to get something i think if i could give any lesson to my child it's the lesson of contribution which makes life so meaningful the depth of relationship that comes from having such a deep love i think those two things are the minimum but you've got to decide what do you want for your child because you know they're their own being you're gonna have your plans how you think they should be and then they're gonna be how they are right and but what you can shape is their value system and not every individual value but the the global values that you know that life is a balance that of course you're gonna go to extremes but balance is how the body maintains it's how life gets imbalanced is like look for that it's like life is not about me it's about we that life is calling to you to give something don't ask what your country is asking for you as you know a democratic president once said what do you do for your country we kind of lost that theme not only in our country but in our parenting and so i see a lot of kids today that are like they're what is my parent doing for me i could never imagine that thought in my life my whole thing was like not one of my what can i do for my parents was my focus you know what can i do and all those little patterns lead to a life that is more meaningful and fulfilling but i don't think over controlling is not going to get you where you want to go based on my history because this isn't my first rodeo i got four children before that three of which i adopted so i was 24 and had a 17 year old son instantly an 11 year old a five-year-old and one on the way so you learn to grow differently and you know my former spouse who had those kids she'd been married twice before me so they were from different parents and so i adopted them all and brought in my life probably got some of the greatest growth in my life from that experience of parenting and and for those that grew up and don't feel like they got the love they wanted or the love they deserved or the love they were supposed to have or whatever and people haven't learned how to love themselves whether it be because they didn't get it from their parents so they didn't learn it how can they learn to love themselves later in their life when they never really felt it i think this idea of loving yourself as a cultural obsession has no basis in reality here's the challenge when you're born what do you got to do to be loved nothing because your mother's on drugs natural dogs oxytocin so you look like a lizard and she thinks you're beautiful right you know you're fat you all over you throw up and you're still beautiful right for a while you're unconditionally loved and thank god we wouldn't have survived otherwise i'm so i love women so much i have so much respect for women even more so going through birth again no man will ever fully appreciate what a woman does or what a baby demands of mother if you're breastfeeding and the energy and the no sleep i mean it's just it's amazing what women do in our lives but the point is in the beginning you're gonna do nothing and then the oxytocin wears off and suddenly you do the same scream or yellow throw your food now you get yelled at or hit or the worst one of all you get ignored and then fear enters your body and then the rest of your life you're looking for how can i get this unconditional love and i remember in the beginning asking myself because yeah i studied all animals and what the level of dependency they have and you know human beings have the longest period of dependency for survival of any creature other than other primates whales will be dependent for a year birds for a few weeks and boom get your house out there and fly you know it's a different world we have this long dependency it's just the nature of how we are and i thought to myself so why why don't we just have unconditional love all the time and i think my answer is because then you never grow or give anything to life you think everything is about you unfortunately there are a large population of kids that are raised in a generation of parents that were helicopter parents that thought everything should be about the child and they wonder why they're selfish today or why they you know don't seem to have great relationships where you got to be with somebody else you got to put somebody else out of you that's what love is love is putting somebody else ahead of yourself loving yourself usually comes from most human beings by starting to have a value and just appreciating people not because of what they do not because of what they have just because you feel their essence and it's easier to do that with somebody you love than is with yourself but when you start to with somebody else and you're not judging you're truly loving them then it's much more natural because you're already doing the loving you're not getting it from somewhere else someone may say something look you a certain way as a trigger but all love is self-love this i don't love myself if you've ever been someone who felt loved you loved yourself they didn't love you they said something needed something with their eyes and you use that as a trigger to release love inside of you but loving yourself every moment all the time is not the secret to success having appreciation for yourself is different than constantly loving now in the bible it says love thy neighbor as thyself so i think it's a worthy goal and it's useful but most people are obsessed with it and i think get on about living a life that's meaningful and you'll love yourself as long as you focus on you you're not going to love you because the human brain is always looking for what's wrong what to protect what needs to be changed it's a survival instinct and so it's looking for things to fight or flight or try to freeze or pretend or not there about yourself but when you're in a bit of service when you're trying to search something more than yourself that's when the higher part of your consciousness is there that's when your heart is flowing and when you're doing that you're not thinking about you and therefore you feel love and i can tell you my own experience i've i don't have to no one else have to earn love with me but my strategy has been i got to earn my own love right i got to be worthy of my own love i don't do that somebody else how do you do that well by helping millions of people for 44 years now i'm finding the stage well yeah i love myself i'm not there right i enjoy myself or appreciate it but along the way i've always earned it now i don't think that's necessarily healthy or not but i like what it's done with me if i know people that just think they're god's gift to creation and they don't add anybody to any other human being and they're to be around they love themselves so i just i would challenge that whole belief system i'd say it's appreciating yourself it's loving the people around you and the more you can unconditionally love others the more you'll unconditionally love yourself but try to start with yourself when you're not doing with others forget it it'll never happen was there ever a moment where you didn't uh unconditionally love yourself and and if so and if so when did that shift where you stopped that and you started saying okay i appreciate myself because of my contribution and my service and who i am what was that shift i don't think it was ever i just didn't love myself there were times obviously be angry with yourself or frustrated yourself or thinking you know i'm not doing enough i mean i can remember my birthdays to be honest with you probably up to my 40th birthday including my 40th birthday you know you have a birthday with a zero on it once you're over past 30 you know 35 sometimes five years on it as well people look at their life differently culturally and and i just think it was but sure enough i would do it i remember turning 40 and i was really really unhappy i was like jesus i've not done enough i've not helped enough people i know tens of millions of people at that point already all over the earth in a hundred plus countries at that point but it was still kind of stuck in my head so i would earn the love by over delivering change somebody's life like i don't get it because somebody says oh i love you tony i mean i appreciate that or oh you're the greatest it's got to be my standard my standard's higher than their standard for me right so when i get up and someone's going to kill themself and it's they're suicidal and boom turn around they're no longer not going to kill themselves but they're transformed their life is there you know that's when i'd go okay you know now we've hit the center of what i'm made for now you know i deserve to feel this euphoric feeling within myself and appreciation and even then i still know it's god coming through me i don't have the delusion it's just me but i think sometime after 40 i finally saw the stupidity of it i accumulated enough that i looked at life with fresh eyes and i could say by the time i turned 60 a year ago i noticed it was interesting because my birthday i didn't have an ounce of it i was just like you know how could i at this stage of my life when i've had the privilege of serving so many humans in so many contexts you know from turning around you know guys going to kill themselves with ptsd to helping kids turn around to getting kids off cocaine or adults to you know help people build multi-billion dollar businesses from nothing and when i've lived this long i can't go by without hearing half a dozen stories a day or dozen stories a day from people telling me how something i did change their life so it's not that i'm so smart now it's just i've stacked it by the way though stacking is the way you can do things most of us stack the negative if you are really angry it's not usually because it's just the moment it's that it happened again you know it's like if you've ever lost it or overreacted to your kid or to a friend or business or even within yourself it's because it happened again we hit this one two three many point and then our nervous system overreacts but what i've learned is you can stack the good and but for example if you're if you go into a state of really strong anger for more than five minutes your immune system is suppressed between an hour and a half to two hours that's a physiological fact but no one had done any study i started stacking good like okay let me stack a dozen great memories feel them see them experience them and i felt this biochemical change that didn't just last a half hour an hour or 10 minutes it went on for a day or two and so i think i've learned to stack the good so just having the experience is not enough you got to stack the good to be able to appreciate it but i i think just come back to the main point here from my perspective which could be completely just my perspective so i want to point that out i think the more you find unconditional love for others the easier it is to find in yourself and i think the focus is serving and loving and that's what will get you the point where you start doing it but if you want to speed it up stack all the good you've done you'll feel great about yourself i already know all the comments that have come through thousands of comments tell me but what about my family that's toxic what about my partner who is toxic and how do i love someone unconditionally when they don't respect me i can't trust them what about situations all those reactions are natural human reactions from ego because it's all about you me me me what i'm not getting what i'm not doing and that's why you're in pain and so don't i'm not telling you like i haven't done this but i've done it too in the past but it's an old pattern i don't really do anymore and it used to affect me now not a dominant one i wouldn't have become who i become early in my life i developed this belief that life is calling not to give me something life is calling for me to deliver things for me to bring something to life and i felt the the joy that came from not getting but giving and i got hooked on that core pattern and then the pattern of learning so i'd have something to give which i know one thing i respect about you louis is that you have that same pattern in you you're you're always trying to learn more because underneath it all you also want to give it you want it you want it for you but you want to share it right and so those patterns help me not be what they're not giving and all this language language today people don't understand the power of their language like toxic what the hell are you talking about you've been wanting too much social media and thinking about yourself or somebody raised you to constantly judge your videos we live in a culture now where people you know you're evil or you're like me that's basically how it is right the whole world everybody else does it more unless they do what you do think what you think experience you think i mean being a liberal i was a liberal right being a liberal growing up meant you i would i would fight for your ability to say and believe whatever you want different than me today now everybody wants everybody to think the same thing otherwise they're evil or otherwise they could hurt me whatever happened to sticks and stones will break your bones and words will never hurt me we have this whole thing that words are evil words are action word it's bullsh and all it does is make you incredibly weak as a human being and you're more than that we all are more than that but you know what like a kid that's never broken their bones definitely afraid of breaking the bone but if you're a kid and you're rough and dumb you broke multiple bones they heal you don't have any fear of it there's so many kids that have been raised to be safe and secure every moment anything that's insecure or unsafe they don't want to be a part of including language and what it does is make you incredibly weak and fearful and that's why there's so many people that are abundant that are angry all the time because they're angry because they're not growing so don't get me wrong i know some people are not a good influence i'm not denying that i'm just saying you're more than somebody's influence unless you obsess about it every moment and make them wrong so you can make yourself feel superior morally psychologically or spiritually that's stop the pattern we've all done it catch yourself because if you want joy happiness and freedom and extraordinary life it will not come from blame never there's no pride that comes from blame i don't mean fake pride where you make to feel good i'm talking about real pride pride is something you earn like people tell me oh i have no self-esteem because my parents used to say this or they'd say that i'd say that's such i'm not saying it's both they didn't say that i said it's that's why you need self-esteem self-esteem does not come from what people say about you self-esteem comes from what you experience about yourself see someone tell your whole life you're a piece of crap and part of you go you're full of it i'm going to show you lots of people have done that they never bought it or someone tell you you're beautiful your whole life you go i'm not really beautiful so what people tell you doesn't matter at all it's what you stack it's what you assemble it's what you create it's the habit of what you put in your head and today i don't blame you because we got a whole culture that's always blaming somebody else for something in their life but blame is not a strategy for pride that's why you're listening blaming people they're all angry all the time listen if i wanted to blame i grew up in an environment i didn't even share it to my mom past then even then i didn't share i grew up in a pretty rough environment my mom was a beautiful soul but when she drank alcohol and she mixed it with prescription drugs it was a different creature and it was a violent creature and i have a younger brother five years younger and a younger sister seven years younger and my mom would get nuts and i didn't want them to get hurt so i was 5-1 in high school she grabbed me about hair and smashed me against the wall until i bled now i never shared this and i'm not denigrating her in any way i only shared it like four or five years after she died um because i was talking a group of kids in new york city all without fathers um 80 african-american about 20 percent hispanic out of their group roughly no white kids and i'm talking about your biography is not your destiny and it doesn't matter what you've been through what you decide now is what's going to control your life what you decide each day going forwards inside your life and i look at them seeing me i can read their minds this big tall white rich guy is going to tell me biography doesn't matter so i said you know let me tell you my story and i told them the whole story way more than i'm telling you and everyone was crying their eyes up when they're done i said look where i am right now because i wouldn't assemble the story that my past equals my future the past only equals your future if you live there if you're using a rear view mirror to guide yourself you're gonna crash so what you've been through is horrific what you've been through is unjust i'm on your side but if you hang on to it you have no future and you have no one to blame but yourself and these kids to their credit man they just responded to the challenge because they first cried their eyes out hearing all the stories my mom would think i was lying and i wasn't lying she poured liquid soap down my throat till i threw up and i wasn't lying so it's not the physical abuse it's the fact that this is the person you love most that's trying to hurt you that messes with your head so i could have been messed up for life but i didn't because something inside me says i'm responsible for this life and part of that's because i started reading when i was 13 14 biographies of people the greatest people in history and reading their lives and finding out guess what their lives were far from perfect some of them had worse lives than i had but when you have no reference and all you just go online you talk to other people making everybody else toxic and i'm like this and they didn't do that then you get to have the life just like those other people why are they online so much because they don't have a life right don't be one of those free yourself from the chains of your past i'm not saying your past doesn't matter but listen my mother i tell people this all the time and it's the truth if my mother had been the mother i wanted to be the mother she should have been i would not be the man i'm proud to be today because i had to become a practical psychologist way before any schooling figure out when's she gonna go in the mood how do i change your state how to protect it from the kids what are we i mean it was felt life and death and it was to some extent so i developed skills at such a young age then when i learned things i just added to my skills but i had a core sense of certainty i could turn anybody around because it started with my mother and thank god for her and she encouraged me in so many ways she did so many great things and she loved me even though it didn't look like it at times so right but if your parents if the people around you said all the things you thought they should have if they had just not been toxic if they'd encouraged you you wouldn't have any muscle and right now you don't have any muscle because you're using that as an excuse if you're thinking that and i'm not attacking you brothers and sisters i'm calling to you because i know you're more otherwise i just keep my mouth shut we're just you've been hypnotized by a culture of weakness now having said that i'll say one last thing i know you haven't got other questions but it's so important what you asked yes there are people that you don't want to hang out with that will not serve you but then move on don't sit there and talk about it constantly don't waste your time and you say but what if it's family tony mine was family too and you learn to grow you go there in my life if someone can get your goat if someone can piss you off if someone can make you feel less than that's god coming to you saying grow you need some spiritual growth there's got to be some change in your perception your belief your emotions your spiritual look of life so that can't happen anymore and when it happens like at 61 i've been through so many of those things and i like do things in mass i took on big challenges so i'd have to grow more but then life throws them at you too when they come you just go okay it's gonna have me until i grow what needs a shift in me so that no longer has an impact but you know jim rohn used to say my original teacher he used to say tony what happens if i've got a cup of coffee here and he'd say what if your worst enemy drops sugar in your coffee what's going to happen and i go well you have sweet coffee and he goes what if your best friend your mother your father your brother your sister your loved one drops one drop of strychnine i said you'd be dead he goes that's right life is most sugar and strict night so watch your coffee this whole thing was stand guard at the door of your brain but some people take they go oh my god you can kill me it was a metaphor these people are not so toxic they're toxic because you give them energy so if your mom's crazy and constantly criticizing you and it drives you nuts just go that's my mom that's her way of showing love and i find a new perspective and no matter what she does just stay in a beautiful state and love on her and think boy think of all that she cares and feels for all that she's frustrated in life or all that she's going through that's made her this way and think i don't have to go through this i can love her it's like your growth is the only limit to your happiness if you're not happy you're not growing in some area and usually it's a place where you're blaming your point in the finger i don't care if it's government don't get me wrong people can be unfair unjust that's for sure happens but you can't control that you can't make it not happen what you have to do is become stronger than any of it so you're free freedom comes from growth freedom does not come from control because control is an illusion you can't control everybody no matter how hard you try you can't control what they think or feel and not everybody's going to be fair and just and you my dear friends and i have not always been fair and just whether we admit it or not it's just the nature of being a being a human being but we can make the largest pattern fair and just and loving and powerful and serving and growing until it becomes the dominant thing inside you and then you experience life as being great not your great life's great because you're living a great path it seems like what i'm seeing and hearing from a lot of people that this past year everything has fallen apart for them their health their relationships their finances their mission or purpose and these their spiritual awareness like every area of life has been in breakdown mode for for some people not everyone some people have had incredible lives and have stepped up to the occasion and broken through on all these things but i'm seeing a pattern of a lot of people breaking down in many areas hypothetical scenario let's say you you could only focus on one thing to get you started you only have the time and energy to focus on one of these areas your health your relationships are all breaking down your finances you're failing failing everywhere where should people lean into first to kind of create that foundation so that everything else can start to rise as well i think before you answer what to do you're going to answer while you're there it is not because of the pandemic i remember when 9 11 happened and people tell oh my god my life was destroyed because of 9 11 and there were people in the same building who turned their life around became grew spiritually closer to their family made their businesses larger and the same building burned down right i know in my case you know 9 11 comes if you can imagine you know i'm fortunate to have now more than 80 companies and all these different industries and obviously you know i've done pretty darn well but by most people's standards of business and life but my core mission is what i do for a living that's why i'm here talking to you right now it's getting people to be free and alive and have the level of fulfillment that they deserve to have i know they desire but i also believe they deserve to have but to deserve to have it you got to do certain things right and so you're not in the place of being overweight because you lost your job so stop the bull blame blame is not a strategy for a meaningful life blame is not a strategy for greatness so you got to resolve that number one and then your question was what's the one thing to focus on if you only focus on one i think it's smart to focus on one thing primarily focus on too many can be overwhelming other people it's good to focus on multiple things it depends on your personality so i wouldn't presuppose but then the answer would be whichever thing you're most desirous of changing whatever thing is giving you the most pain so if it's your relationship i'd go full force on that now in the world we're in today you know you don't usually have the the privilege of going okay i want to work on just being happy well i continue to be happy while hell's breaking those you can sit in this chair and be totally euphoric but if you do that in a western culture people come and take your furniture right so you probably have to work on both your business or financial side and some personal side i would be working on both and to me the way to attack that if you're not sure which area is to start with the body and i know you can relate to this lewis because you and i both share this in common it's like i always teach physiology first as you well know if you change the body you'll change the emotions if you change the emotions you'll change your decisions you'll change the quality of your life because the quality of life is your emotions it's not what you get you have a billion dollars and commit suicide people have done it right you can have beautiful relationships and commit suicide you can have people loving you and be sad all the time our pattern of emotion is our home and you have to upgrade your home you have to train it and one way to train it is the emotion comes the way you move the way you breathe the way you speak so if i said to your listeners uh there's a depressed person behind the curtain over here and i'll give a hundred thousand dollars to their favorite charity if they had to describe their body their posture and they're depressed you tell me i'll just use the example what does that person look like they're this lunch down they're looking down at their feet they're not looking upward their their shoulders are over they're are they are they breathing full or shallow do you think they're shallow are they talking fast or slow they're talking pro if they're depressed they're probably talking fast because they're not calm well no that's usually stressed depressed is different than stressed they slow they're probably talking low volume slower than and all those physical characteristics change your biochemistry towards this feeling of being depressed and in depressed state you won't do anything when i used to be depressed i don't get it anymore i just took it out of my life i even took the language of it out of my life because the words you create create a biochemical response but when i did that decades ago because i was like having those thoughts like is there a reason to still be here that kind of crazy in your head i got out of it by using anger originally i'd much like sometimes if somebody's really sad or depressed i'll make them angry and be like what's he doing to make him angry because angry is much more resourceful than depressed from anger i can get into laughter i get you know taking action i so and then gradually i got what i didn't need anger it was about growth it was about contributions about meaning so there's like stages to go through but to answer your question they should work on both their business side of their life and personal one of each and in order for either one of those to work you need to be in a strong emotional state and if you start with your body like you know i start every morning and my cold water started morning with my workout i started every morning on feeding my mind right so there's certain things you got to do physically so you're strong enough to remember the truth because remember fear is physical you feel you throw to your gut so's courage courage doesn't mean you're not afraid it just means you're strong enough you push through in spite of the fear right and courage feels different in the body so when you go lift or you go for a sprint or a strong run or you jump in that freezing water when you push your mind to go beyond what's comfortable you feel a strength inside you and that strength will help you to change your body your emotions your relationships whatever but then the other thing i want to say is model someone who's successful don't just do this by trial and error like find somebody who has what you want ideally maybe more than one person two or three and see god what are they doing different than you in their relationship what do they believe different than you about relationship if it's their body what are they doing they're not lucky they're doing things differently you might be slightly biochemically different but there's patterns there that you can see and so instead of learning by trial and error which can take decades you may never learn jim rohn taught me success leaves clues man find someone's got what you want study what they do every aspect of it and then add yourself to it and that's the pathway to speed of transformation so now like you know i've done it i'm not the only person there's so many companies that went from worse off than they'd ever been in their history to the best off because they found a way to pivot but that required a psychological piece of not blame so maybe it's time for you to think for yourself and model what works instead of just what you're told that's something to consider for yourself it's one of the reasons you've got millions of people that model after you just like myself in many areas of my life i've got three final questions is that okay to ask your final question okay want to be respectful of your time since we're at the top of the hour just want to make sure i'm good um you mentioned i had uh you know i had the opportunity to go to fiji with you and dean graziosi and a group of people about a year and a half ago and you mentioned that winter was coming this was in 2019 i guess or yeah right before 2020 and you mentioned winter is coming i don't know how how where what what type of crisis is happening but something's going to happen it may be in six months and maybe in the next few years but something is happening and from people that went through 9 11 to the housing crisis of 2008 2009 to then 2020 what would you say if people want to prepare themselves to create more financial abundance over the next 10 years with winter coming maybe again sooner than later what should people be focusing on in order to earn more and invest more so that they're not overwhelmed financially with the next winter well first of all i want to acknowledge that every generation if there's a book every once you read it's called the fourth turning it's not a great read i'll be honest with you in advance i read it 25 years ago one of the most seminal books i've ever read because what it will show you is that every generation goes to different stages a winter time a really really rough time a springtime like after the rough times we usually see this easy growth you know a summer where god i'm working hard it doesn't seem the reward and then a fall where all the rewards show up in a major level but those seasons which maybe 10 20 years are a way of thinking for some people those seasons happen in their youth some midlife some later because there's a cycle of history it's a thousand years of history you can study it's fascinating i'm not gonna try to explain it to you right now but if you want perspective it's there the generation you're speaking of the millennial generation very special generation i don't mean special like you're so special special because they have a unique place in human history they've experienced certain shocks at a certain time they are an archetype of one of the four seasons of life the last one was called the great generation think about this if you were born in the year say 1900 1901 1902 something like that when you're coming of age 20 years old when you want to think about your life and where it's going and all that stuff right i'd say 1910 excuse me when you're coming of age if you're born in 1910 the stock market crashes the biggest depression in human history at least that we're aware of modern history happens you know 50 percent of people seem to be losing their jobs there seems to be no hope whatsoever right as you're coming to your early prime gonna make things happen oh so that's 1929 what happens a decade later when you're about to turn 30 another seminal time in your life world war ii breaks out holy sh the whole world likes it's going we're talking about world war all over the earth and it looks like hitler's gonna win and that we're gonna have nazism everywhere and countries are dropping like flies and the economy is going through the floor and you just turn 30. but guess what at 40 the greatest bull market in the history of the world began for that generation but they were so tested and so strong from everything they've been through but then they were tested by their own kids who didn't have to go through that suffering who thought life should be easy for them and said look at you you're not balanced you aren't fair to women and they weren't right but they were busy fighting wars to get to the point where you'd have time to do that it's like see people say you know art for the sake of art's sake is for the well-fed right you know it's like you know these people have a different so it's not like challenges disappear but they're called the great generation because they found their way through those things because it was a generation that was not taught to look for excuses i think the millennial generation is the next great generation if they play their cards right and i think there's enough great people in that generation to help lead a new direction for it and i think there's technology allows them to connect in new ways but technology unfortunately also pits them against other people because if you've seen the social dilemma you know there are people manipulating your brain and your biochemistry and your dopamine right now so but i think they'll figure that out i think they really will now the answer to your question i want to give that context because without the context all this is about survival or doing okay for yourself and i think you're not going to feel a great life just trying to take care of yourself don't get me wrong it's like if you know the indian tradition in india that they teach these four aims of life the first aim is artha artha and what that means is prosperity and security that it's important to take care of that because when that prosperity security is there it's not like that's not spiritual taking care of yourself and your family is part of life and so you need to do that and then the next level of development next aim of life is comma k-a-m-a and that means pleasure and it's good to find pleasure and like if you found good work that serves more than yourself you're going to prosper but then do you enjoy it and do you enjoy your life and do you appreciate things and it's like finding that appreciation it isn't just sensuality or sexuality it's music it's art it's family it's all these things it's the history of your own country and finding the good right and then the third level for that most people have heard of is dharma which is you know your purpose or your truth but notice you really don't have a real clear dharma most people unless they got some level of prosperity security some level of enjoyment of life that they get to the point of thinking broader now some people early on are trying to find their purpose what's my purpose what's my purpose i gotta find my ultimate purpose who said there's one freaking purpose where did you get that delusion and why does it have to be so huge i know like when i was a young kid i had this purpose statement the person in my life is to be a passionate loving incredible creation of what god shows is possible by serving all its humanity and lifting them and i mean it went on and on and on now like what's my purpose how can i help i mean serving is what my purpose is i don't need all this and that means i can do it when i introduce when i say hello the mailman i can do it in front of 50 000 people i can do it with my child right and there's lots of different purposes as you go through your life but most people try to get that they haven't figured out what the hell they're going to do they haven't even figured out enjoy their life your purpose will unfold if you do the right thing so now to answer your question precisely and specifically in short order you need to put yourself in a position if you're going to be successful is to have ideally your own business or a business where the more value you add the more you earn you can work for someone else and do that if you have stock options you could do that if you've got bonuses but to me autonomy if you really want an extraordinary life i believe this is just personal preference this is my opinion this isn't the truth for everyone is if you can find yourself in a place where the more value you add the more you can grow mentally emotionally spiritually and financially then you can write your own ticket right and so owning your own business to me is one of the ways to do that or partnering with somebody in a business or working for somebody but where they treat you as a partner you get a piece of the business so you don't have to be only on your own but if you're going to grow you need to make whatever business you're part of even if you work for somebody else you got to think like an owner because if you do you become one and if you think like an owner and you're going to succeed then you've got to model the people that are successful it's like why we put this challenge together it's not just me we've got about a dozen of the best people in the world all different ways because they're like oh tony can do this but what about where's jenna kercher with her camera and what she's doing making a couple million dollars a year being a mom enjoying her life right so they get to meet them all and not just be inspired but this is specifically how to do it because you know and i know there's you get to have that i didn't have 20 years ago or even 15 or five years ago some of it but certainly not 30 years ago it cost the fortunate stuff everything's for free now you put up a podcast and reach millions of people that was impossible in the stage of my life so there are ways to leapfrog because of technology that you want to take advantage of so you want to model somebody that's incredible but then what's going to make that business work or not is two things do you understand who your ideal client is you can't be a client to everybody you got to know who's mine you can help everybody but who's your ideal client who's the client's going to stay with you when the economy gets bad because as you said winter always comes i was saying winter came then because i knew we'd had a bull market so long that we're going to have to have a bear market we usually have one every five years we have this unbelievable long period of time without having one and i wanted people prepared because when things go down is your greatest opportunity right now your greatest economy your life is happening because we're coming out of winter and we're not fully in springtime yet although the economy is heating up and it's artificially heating up they're going to pour so much money into it that you can be an idiot and do well in this economy but you want to take advantage of this time because when it goes back again because it will we can't just keep printing dollars forever or putting ones and zeros and computers without inflation we're already starting to see it and most of you don't know inflation is i remember buying my first house at 18 years old a triplex at 18 interest it's hard to make money at 18 yeah now you got like two and a half for people right now it's different universes so you got to be prepared for whatever is coming and the way you do that is know who your ideal customers who you can add value to fall in love with them what do they need what they want what they hate and not fall in love with your product fall in love with them so you can keep meeting their needs and then come up with an irresistible offer if you have those two things you're going to win i mean i remember i saw there's a great little series out right now on um i think it's the history channel they've done these series in the past you may have seen them louis like the the you know the the people that shaped america and they show like all the you know the guys that built standard oil like the rockefellers and so forth they're doing one right now and the food that built america and it's fascinating and so one of those stories was about the pizza business and i won't run it for you but one of those was such a perfect example was domino's pizza he was going bankrupt he couldn't figure out what the hell to do he couldn't make any money no matter what and then one day he had a problem delivering something and somebody was pissed off and they go i will not accept this pizza if it takes more than 30 minutes and he was and he heard it and then he tried on every call domino's pizza we delivered within 30 minutes or your pizza is free he made an irresistible offer not just that we'll deliver by 30 minutes but i will be penalized you will get it for free if you don't that offer turned dominoes from a losing company to the one of the most dominant pizza companies in the history of the world having an irresistible offer and knowing who his client was he went for kids in college he targeted them because they ate more pizza and you could deliver more to the same dorm with more people so he knew his ideal clients you know who else he wanted to serve he came up with the resistable offer done deal unbelievable business and this is one of the things you guys are teaching in the own your future challenge which if i want everyone listening or watching to sign up for this it's completely free you can go to lewishaus.com future it'll take you right there you guys are doing this week-long challenge you and our friend dean graziosi talking about how to build and scale an irresistible offer talking about how to build a business a side hustle whatever it is using your knowledge and information to build something to earn something on the side that eventually you could take what's unique about this challenge and it's not just me is that it's a bunch of people is we're going to use technology each step of the way each day so you start to build a business that you could start to launch at the end because there's technology you can do in minutes that used to take months or years and or if you already have a business how to grow it dynamically so it's not just going to be sitting back with philosophy we're going to be calling you there's no charge for the program the charge is you got to take uncomfortable action each day using a little bit of technology we'll show you how to do and then you're going to have something really at the end not just inspiration i love it yeah i want everyone to to sign up for this is completely free lewishaus.com future um there's gonna be a lot of great content a lot of my mutual friends are gonna be on there teaching sharing some of their their greatest strategies about how they've built and scaled their businesses and brands so make sure you sign up for that final two questions uh this is a question i've asked you before you probably don't probably remember i think last time my interview was four or five years ago but it's called the three truths and i'd like to make it a spin this question um it's a hypothetical scenario imagine it's your last day on earth many years away you get to accomplish and live as long as you want to live but eventually you got to turn the lights off and for whatever reason tony you've got to take all of your work with you your written words your audio the video no one has access to your content anymore they steal the books out of people's homes and it goes with you to the next place hypothetically but you get to leave behind three things you know to be true the three lessons you would share with the world and this is all we would have from your information what would you say are those three lessons that you would share with your daughter or to the world if this is all we would have to remember you by life is not about me life is about we the quality of life is the quality of relationships and relationships are grown by giving not by demanding not by judging um i'd say secondly uh love is the answer with strength you have to have love and strength together if those two resources anything can be transformed anything can be accomplished because with love and strength you'll have a larger vision um if it's true love i don't want to have a love with in a sense of just trying to get something i mean true love which is about how can i give something but still having strength also so you're not run over and i'd say um i'd say constant never-ending learning will make life not only interesting but the meaningfulness will come because you'll have something to give and that will tie back to the first piece that i described so i mean there's so much it's hard to reduce to three things but i've taught my head those would be my first three i love those and dean uh graziosi said one of the greatest lessons you've taught him is about love and relationships and he said that you told him you feel love when you give it rather than when you receive it and also in relationship never keep score and so i just wanted to mention that as something that has been impactful for him and so many of your your friends that you've taught this to especially myself and in relationships and understanding relationships uh before i ask the final question i want to acknowledge you tony as i uh as i've done many times before and i will continue to do for as long as you're alive for constantly being a symbol of inspiration to so many people for constantly showing up you don't have to do this stuff anymore you've done a million times over the work of helping so many people and the the ability the amount of growth that you continue to have and wanting to serve at a higher level continues to inspire me like you'll never know and so i want to acknowledge you for leading the way for for constantly serving so many people that will never know that you touch their lives directly because you're doing it not for them to know you're doing it on every area of life i really appreciate who you are as a human and my final question is what is your definition of greatness i think greatness is service i think great service is a great life i think um you know as you live your life and i'm fortunate enough to uncover this earlier in my life not because i'm such a good person i think just because i love people and because i then attracted really brilliant people 20 30 years my senior who had been through all the patterns in the end it's not what you get that's gonna make you happy it's who you become and it's who you've been able to touch and um you know so i think greatness is service i think greatness is finding the way to do more for others than anybody else uh because that'll also come back to you in spades from the standpoint of your own sense of internal pride not external but your own sense like people could take away everything i have they can't take away who i become as a man by my service and by my growth so i think um i think purpose and and having a sense of progress are the two things that create a great life if you've got a higher purpose than yourself that's going to give you the motivation and the energy to drive when everybody else is exhausted and you're exhausted and if you're making progress you'll feel the rewards that come from that i think those two are twin powers in a great life tony robbins thanks for all your service and generosity my friend i'm so grateful and thanks for being here thank you it's great to see you again so just finished up this amazing interview with tony robbins and i was reflecting on some of the things he talked about i've had the chance to be around him a few different times we've had three previous interviews that were all incredible i think got over six million views on those i've spent some intimate time in some mastermind meetings with him i've been to his live event so i've i've had the opportunity to be able to be around him a few times i have a lot of mutual friends who are very close to tony and i just wanted to share some of my big takeaways from this interview and also what i've learned from him since i've really been aware of him as a kid growing up and one of the things that he mentioned here was a lot of people struggle especially after a breakdown in life whether it be this pandemic or some type of breakdown and lots of things have broken down your finances your relationships your health your purpose your mission you're not clear on what you want to do next he really said you know focus on these different areas but make sure your body is strong when your body's strong then you have the energy the presence the power to make better decisions to have the focus to work on those relationships to give the attention and the creativity to launch your business all these things stem from the foundation of your body and i can speak for personal experience that when my body is really out of shape and i'm not moving and i'm not working out and i'm eating horrible for weeks or months on end and and it's really i've just kind of lost my my physical body in that sense i feel less i feel like i don't believe in myself as much i feel less confident i don't feel as good in my relationships i don't feel as confident in business and it really stems from having the energy the clarity of the focus and make sure you put the attention on taking care of your body make sure the nutrition the sleep the physical activity you are making this a priority you're putting this in your calendar scheduling it first on a daily basis what are you going to do to set yourself up to win he talked about making sure you set yourself up to win by finding the right model of people on how they do it there are a lot of busy people out there who've got kids and families and businesses and responsibilities who are also able to take care of their physical body and their health so modeling those individuals i think it's really important to find a personal advisory board tony talked about this towards the end where he's always finding his his mentors who are 20 years senior right he's finding people who've been there done that so he can accelerate that time and that learning curve something i've learned from him that i think is extremely important to find the model of success he mentioned finding three people so why not find your own personal advisory board of individuals who have the health or the physical body and the the physical activity and the nutritional side of their life figured out find people who have the financial side figured out i'm doing this on a consistent basis i've got more than three people in every area i've got coaches and therapists and you know billionaire friends and physical specimens that i'm always trying to learn from and then he said focusing on one thing at first like focus on this get it under control so you have the energy to do more things i think when you schedule that priority the thing that's the biggest pain right now and scheduling it on a daily basis this becomes a non-negotiable for you that's when you can really start to see results and changes when you're taking that consistent action so that was one thing i took away number two is stacking positives you know think about it we've got you know neuroscientists and psychologists who've come on the school of greatness say that there's what 50 000 or 80 000 thoughts a day that a human being has on average and who knows what the actual statistic is but most people will agree in the the science world that our thoughts are on repeat so we're if we're having negative thoughts consistently and we're having them on repeat consistently then we're stacking negative thoughts and this has been used to protect us and to make sure we're looking out for what's harmful and things that are bad and all the things we can fix but he said stacking the positives and he said he removes the language of depression from him he's like i'm not going to get depressed first it was depression then i said no i'm just going to get angry because anger will give me energy it'll give me something to at least work towards and take action on maybe it's not the best action but it's better than the depressed action which is nothing so stacking the positives and rewarding yourself oh i had lots of great thoughts today i had lots of good memories today i didn't focus on the negative thoughts and the negative memories i'm stacking the positive you may piss people off by just being a positive human being and i'm not saying suppress your feelings and hurt and pain you can still feel and work through those but then get back to a positive state you know the world makes room for passionate positive people you don't want to be around negative people with a bad attitude that don't take action that doesn't inspire you in an intimate relationship a a partnership in your business hiring someone for your team that doesn't inspire you the world makes room for positive passionate people and so figuring out how can i make it a game in my mind where i'm training myself to stack positivity stack positive good thoughts quality thoughts not negative suffering thoughts that was another thing that i really loved stacking positivities and again you may piss people off because they're not in the mood and they're negative and you're positive but i'd rather you piss people off for being positive then piss people off for being negative the next thing that i said that he's talked about which i thought was really fascinating is loving others is when you'll truly love yourself and really the key to success is to to be in service and and to learn how to love and contribute to other people and i i love this perspective because i think a lot of people are in this mode of wanting and i need someone else to love me and i need my family to love me and see me for who i am and i need my partner to love me the way i want to be loved and i'm all for the five love languages and actually just learning how to communicate and give and receive love but i like his perspective perspective in saying you know what it's not it shouldn't always be about me me me and what i need but how can i serve how can i love others unconditionally which is really hard when someone isn't receptive or when someone's defensive or when someone doesn't receive your love um but that's when you can really elevate yourself to another level is when you can learn to love someone else and not need it in return but in return you love yourself because of how you're giving love to other people just that perspective shift i thought was interesting i'm also a big fan of just learning to accept yourself accept yourself through your past your pain your hurt your shame the things you've done to hurt other people all that stuff like accept yourself and then make a commitment moving forward on how you're going to show up differently to create a new positive attitude for yourself a new energy a new contract with yourself in the world so love yourself by loving other people i love that he said loving yourself is not the secret but really loving other people he also mentioned we not me as one of his um truths and i'm a big fan that we're all in this together that you're you're in this together with the world but also it's we not me in a intimate partnership it's we not me in a business it's we not me in a team a sports setting it's we not me and everything and friendships it needs to be be about we not me and for most of my life i'll admit it i was about what can i do for me how can i gain a leg up how can i look better than others how can i be the winner and someone else be the loser in every context of life and that didn't work it it made me have a surface level of fake confidence it made me feel a little bit better for a moment but then at the end of the day just more and more suffering less fulfillment and really less confidence when i was coming from that place but when you are in a position to say you know what i'm here to shine the light on you i'm here to lift you up i want to be of service to you it'll always come back it may not come back directly in that moment but it'll always come back around when you're focused on how can i serve how can i show up to help someone else succeed how can we all win together how can we all grow and improve together and that's really a key in my mind is coming from a place of we not me and it's really hard when you lack it's really hard when you're suffering you're struggling you don't have any money you don't have the love you want all those things when you're coming from that place of i don't have then you are going to be in a much more miserable environment because you're keeping company that is not positive and it's focused on me not on how can i serve not how how i can contribute how i can give how can lift others up i think it was zig ziglar that said if you want to accomplish all your goals in your life help everyone else accomplish their goals you know we we learn through other models of success that those who help the most people in a business become billionaires typically the ones that have the biggest followings of users on apps or customers and they are in service to those customers they help them solve the biggest pain point or problem those are the ones that are rewarded financially because they were in service for others not about themselves and then the last thing that he mentioned which was building an irresistible offer i think when you can create an irresistible offer in your business or in your personal life that you show up in such a way that is so irresistible that you get the partner you want of your dreams that you get the friends you want of your dreams that you attract the team members the colleagues the you know all these people are attracted to you like a magnet because you are irresistible and you're creating an irresistible offer to not be around you the people that have to be around you because you're a magnet you're attracting them and again you become irresistible when you are able to go beyond your pain go beyond your fears your doubts your insecurities your lack of confidence you become irresistible to everyone around you you become a magnet of opportunities of love of attraction of all these things by your energy your way of being of how you show up for other people you're not a magnet you're not irresistible when you are a taker when you are negative when you're blaming when you're doing all these other things you're not irresistible so create an irresistible offer in your business and you'll be financially abundant become irresistible in your life and you'll create abundance in your life you'll feel love support guidance friendship connection that you've never felt before when you show up being irresistible and that takes working on yourself that takes developing skills that takes overcoming your challenges your pain that takes being vulnerable it takes being uncomfortable in so many different ways it takes taking care of your body which we talked about in the beginning it takes a lot of different things but greatness doesn't come to everyone who just shows up and says i'm negative give me everything i deserve it greatness comes to those who are willing to look within and see all the different pain and shame and frustration that they might feel and they learn to use that pain and to heal it embrace it overcome it and really be of service for other people in the gifts and talents that they develop within themselves that's what this is all about i've learned a lot of lessons from tony robbins over the years this is just some reflection right after this interview that i wanted to share with you we've got so many other big lessons that we've learned from tony and some of our previous three interviews and what i want to do is share some of those best moments with you right now because these moments blew me away when i was sitting across from tony and he shared these stories and these insights so i want you to watch these right now and before we get into it make sure you check out the challenge the own your future challenge if you go to lewishouse.com future you can sign up for free you can get opted in to go through this experience and learn about how to create an irresistible offer how to build and scale your own business by tony robbins dean graciosi and many other my friends who are top business leaders and digital marketers in the world so make sure you go to lewishouse.com future right now sign up it's absolutely free i want you to get this information and now let's dive into some of the most mind-blowing moments with tony robbins [Music] i feel like i've done a pretty good job of earning a lot of money over the last few years yes when before i never knew how to make money yeah i was an athlete i was trying to make it to the nfl that was my only focus was playing sports i didn't never learned about how to make money yeah so when i was able to dive into this and really learn the ins and outs of making money but actually allowing money to make money for you exactly make money while you sleep make money while you sleep it was so interesting and i feel like i've done a good job of making money over the years but there's so much more in here that i'm like fascinated by oh it's interesting because i did the same thing you know i come from a very poor background and we had no money for food at times quite literally and it was it was rough so i want to make sure money wasn't a you know an issue for my future family so i figured how to make money and i figured when i was i don't know 23 i figured how to make a million dollars in a year i went from 38 000 to a million and you don't do that by some new strategy there's a psychological shift as well as a strategy shift right but then i made the same amount of money for seven straight years even though i built a dozen more companies i have more people than ever but it was like unconsciously well you want more than a million dollars what are you you know you're greedy and i was it i was actually staying where was i was in um i was in milwaukee wisconsin and i arrived at two o'clock in the morning on my birthday i didn't have a private plane so i had to go like four different connections from where i was and i get in this place and it's a horrible place and i call my kids and i'm talking to this woman on the phone named maria used to run my house and take care of my kids i said you know maria i'm sorry it's so late but i want to talk to my kids oh happy birthday excuse me this whole thing and then she walks me to mr robbins you know she says i never dreamed i'd live in a castle because i had a place called and i just want to thank you i feel like a princess she goes last night i was sitting in jacuzzi looking out at the water and thinking oh look yeah but i'm in the ramada inn in those days looking at this moose head going this woman is really rich so i finally decided listen if i can make them you know 38 000 million that it's not about money it's like growth so i went i'm gonna make 3 million but i want to make more of it while i sleep but then i really began to realize it doesn't matter how much money you make it's really your capacity to take your creativity and stop trading time for money it's the worst trade in the world everybody's a financial trader they don't realize their trader they're trading time and you can't get more time so this book is how to take anybody an average person a millennial just getting out of college with a bunch of debt and saying how do i really make this work or baby boomer saying how do i still retire and the way i did it was i said i want to interview 50 of the most brilliant financial people in the world most people don't know that i i've been working with paul tudor jones one of the top 10 financial traders in history for 21 straight years and he hasn't lost money in one year in 21 years right we made money and the tech you know blow up that happened in 2000 and 911. in 2008 when the market was down 51 from top to bottom he made 28 positive right incredible so every day literally he emails me i monitor him i come see him i work with him and he pays me seven figures a year to be able to do this and i've been able to continually help him go to the next level but quite frankly i've learned more from him i think than i could ever teach him right and he helped me open these doors so this book is the best from every self-made billionaire that i could find carl icahn i mean i'm sitting down with this guy he just made two billion dollars in the last 18 months off a 30 million investment off netflix he sent an email or a tweet out tweet out about apple saying was undervalued and became two hours later was worth 17 billion more by a tweet so the people i've got to hang with over the last three four years have been i've got a phd in finance from the people controlling the world's finance and what i'm trying to do is the reason they did that is make it simple bring it so i could train anybody else because in this business what you don't know will hurt you financially so i want to know how to protect people and how to help people maximize and that's why i did the book it's it's incredible and what i want to know is why we weren't taught these things growing up me too tell me right so if you were if they were like okay tony we're giving you the the key to the education system yeah and how would you apply what teachings would you apply into about finances learning about this how to generate wealth as opposed to trading time for money but really leveraging it and investing the right way what would you start implementing well the first thing you want to teach anybody a a child a kid anybody is that you'll never earn your way to freedom you just don't you look around and you see you know curt schilling if you remember from boston red sox yeah in a hundred million dollars a year he's broke bankrupt asked warren buffet so what made you the wealthiest man in the world and he smiled and he said three things he said living in america has great opportunities having good genes so i lived a long time and he said the last thing is compounded interest and we all know about compound interest but i i give an example the book of this guy theodore johnson worked for ups never made more than 14 000 in income in his entire life in a year and in old ages worth 70 million dollars and how do you do it all he did was he took a percentage of his income his percentage was 20 now his family said you can't we can't save any money but he met a friend who said if you pretend there's a tax and the tax just took the money away from you and you never see it the money just comes out of your account goes an investment account you'll be financially free so he was disciplined he didn't look at it it happened 70 million dollars by compounding so people's mistake is and kids don't know this adults don't know this that you won't earn your way there but you can compound your way there what i want to do is say where do you put that money now that's the trick right well the first trick is actually doing almost nobody does right the second trick is you really have to understand where you're going to get hurt because the fees the fees are just destroyed people you have a whole chapter about the fees i was like this is incredible isn't it wild it's nuts how do you lose so much money just on the fees well just so people have an understanding 96 of all mutual funds never match the market i mean they never beat the market so i was just on a morning show this morning and and michael bloomberg's uh one of his guys that has some of his money so why i'm you know this is the only industry i know of where people think they can be a doctor they think they could be a financial planner and i said to him i said well look the statistics warren buffett taught me this you said ray dalio told me this david swenson who took yale from 1 billion to 24 billion in two decades these people telling me nobody beats the market except a couple unicorns that nobody has access to and i said i didn't say you're not one of them said here's the truth 96 of mutual funds don't match the market that means four percent succeed now what are your chances of picking the right mutual fund people don't know what they're doing they put their money in a 401k they pick a mutual fund not knowing what it is if you play blackjack and you and i play and you get two face cards and your inner idiot says hit me i wanna i wanna go one chance in a million whether you're ace you have an eight percent chance of winning right if you try to get a mutual fund you got the four percent chance of winning so what i show people is not only do you not get the result thinking logically if i hire someone else to do it they'll do better than me but in addition you pay around 2 000 more than it's worth meaning you get the same exact product the same stocks if you own the index right you want a piece of all of america's best companies say the vanguard 500 index 500 top companies that cost point one seven percent like less than two tenths of a percent versus the average mutual fund is three point one seven that's incredible compounded over there over but first just hear that so you understand it's like if the average car sold in america is a honda civic it's twenty thousand dollars you get the honda civic for twenty thousand or you can pay three hundred fifty thousand that's the difference between point one seven and three one seven but if you look at it over a period of like how old are you 31 31 okay so let's assume you and buddies at 35 manage to put aside 100 grand and you manage not to add any more money but to grow it at seven percent spite of ups and downs in the market and you're 65 how much money do you have well if you paid one percent in fees over those 30 years 100 grand became 574 000 bucks not bad for never adding another dime right if you had three percent of fees have the same growth but three percent of these you now have three hundred oh and twenty four thousand almost half as much quarter million dollars seventy seven percent less money and you have the same return it was just the fees so the world most people you ask them what are your fees they have no clue right so i've created a site where people can go they can type it in you find exactly what your fees are and what you should be paying and it just it's highway robby where in the world would you pay two thousand dollar two thousand percent more for the same exact product you can only do it because the financial industry makes things so opaque so convoluted and people feel overwhelmed and hard to understand very understanding that's why i try to come in here and go look time to become the chess player not the chess piece let me teach you so you understand what's going on it's not that complex they use all these big words yeah but when you know what's going on you don't get screwed and more importantly you take advantage of the system instead of letting the system take advantage of you [Music] with all the tools you've learned and this wealth of information over 39 years almost four decades yeah strategies to break people through to help them overcome their challenges um if you can only have if you have to strip them all away you can always use one strategy or one thing to use what would that be i wouldn't okay part of why i'm effective is because i don't buy that uh i'm always looking for more strategies because one strategy will work with one person not with another um but philosophically i would say that uh the capacity to strengthen and increase your hunger is the one common denominator amongst the most successful people you know uh you know richard branson's good friend of mine and peter guber steve wynn all these guys they've never lost their hunger most people are hungry to achieve a certain amount make a certain amount of money and then they get comfortable and relax or to get a certain level of fitness and then they relax but you know richard is as driven today as when he was 16 years old starting i mean he's like on fire and he's 65 years old warren buffett is 85 years old he's as driven today as when you know he began the journey right and so people that have that hunger i believe intelligence i love people that are wickedly smart and i work to be wickedly smart by educating and training myself and so forth and training my brain but intelligent there's a lot of intelligent people can't fight their way out of a paper bag right absolutely hunger is the ultimate driver because if you're hungry you can get the strategy you can get the answer if you can't model it you can find it so hunger modeling would be maybe the next best skill knowing that success leaves clues like why reinvent the wheel if someone took the j this plane uh was uh mickey's plane who owns the miami heat and owns carnival right i mean you can learn so much from them like mickey blow your mind what this man has been able to do in his life and so why would i go learn by trial and error and maybe take 10 or 20 years when i can learn from somebody in a few weeks or a few months or a few hours something that could save me a decade that's what it is that's why that's why i read 700 books in the first seven years because i was like if somebody takes 10 years their life they pour into a book and i can read that in an hour two or three or four why wouldn't that so how does someone continue to stay hungry or re you know rediscover what they're hungry about the best way is get around where it's better and things will hit you say it again get around where it's better and things will hit you who you spend time with is who you become so you know when i started coaching all these billionaires you know there's a part of me that said i you know i i'm smart in certain areas as they are i gotta step my game up it's not about the money it's about how can i take the invisible and make it visible how can i find a way to add more value to other people to such an extent where economics are not a question whatsoever and then i can take those economics and do even more where i'm not there i look as money as portable power i can leverage my money to do things for people even when i sleep now i love doing these for people and i work 18 20 hour days still but it's really nice to have the leverage of that as well sure um in a few sentences what would you say is your current vision for life what's what's the vision you have and what's the legacy that you want to leave behind i saw uh have you seen hamilton the play in new york i hear it's incredible everyone is raving about it you've seen it right nick yeah it's amazing it's an extraordinary it's amazing yeah i loved it i i thought it was a lot might be a lot of hype but it was as good as the promise there's a line in hamilton that i thought was really interesting it says legacy is planting seeds in a garden that you'll never see and that was really interesting um but so for me i know what's the garden you want to create you'll never see yeah for me it's human lives for me it's it's i love my life is about being a blessing in the lives of the people i meet i hope that whoever decides to watch your video um i hope something here will strike them and they can say you know i gotta get in proximity or i gotta raise my standard or i'm gonna go master my damn money i'm not gonna dabble i hope that it stimulates someone in a way where it becomes a blessing in their life and my legacy is the lives that i've touched and my legacy is the institutions that i'm building right now that when i'm gone will continue to touch people my foundation the work that i'm doing with mentoring with kids i mean the ability to touch another generation but my heartfelt prayer every day is be a blessing and you know it's interesting sometimes you're a blessing just by giving somebody a few moments just by loving on them just being with them sometimes you're being a blessing because you coach them or you intervene with them you can be a blessing in so many ways but that's my daily focus and it's not what i'm going to build for the long term it's really what am i going to do right now why is that and why do you want to create that legacy um again it's less about legacy than it is about doing what i'm made for while i'm here and maximizing i you know i want the end to have me i want to be climbing them out and when i die not sliding so to me it's about growth and it's about giving those the only things that fulfill human beings i always tell people if you want to be happy it's one word progress if you can make progress and if your progress is not only within yourself but it's actually doing something of value for more than yourself you're going to be a damn fulfilled person yeah how do you stay grounded in your personal and intimate relationships when everyone wants a piece of you you know you sell out events 10 20 30 000 people come to your conferences pay tens of thousands of dollars everyone wants to interview you uh you're coaching presidents billionaires world-class athletes they call you they want you to help them break through the next level how do you stay grounded in your marriage or with your kids or with you know friends my mom my mom's craziness gave me a great gift um i wanted to be a professional athlete and uh want to be a professional baseball player and when i got cut from the junior high school team i figured out i'm in trouble so i decided to become a sportscaster sports writer and so i took typing when i was in junior high school i was the only boy in an all girl shorthand class so i could capture everything because i wanted to be the best reporter best sportscaster i interviewed howard cosell and woody hayes and dodgers and rams i got a job working for a daily newspaper when i was 13. and then i got this huge break which was i got these interviews no one had like joe namath when he was so famous i got these interviews and uh here in l.a kttv channel 11 is now a fox channel um they were trying to get viewership and so they kept trying different kinds of sports casters they even tried fanny fox the stripper and and somebody watched some interviews i did and went holy this 14 year old kid i was about to be 15. he's brilliant he's getting interviews nobody else is getting you know so they called me up and they offered me the job to be the nightly sportscaster at as i was turning 15. wow and i was out of my mind like the dream i was gonna have when i was like 25 or 30 was happening you know i'm gonna be 15. and my mom said to me your ego's too big and if i let you do this you're even getting bigger and she not only would not let me take the job she made me quit my job working for the parkers bolton which was a daily newspaper in pomona california doing sports and i hated her and i was devastated but it created a sensitivity inside of me that that that along with i think watching athletes who would not sign a card for a kid because they were making money selling cards would make me so angry that i said i'm never going to be one of those people and so i'm not you know i've certainly have plenty of pride in what i've been able to accomplish and people have been to help but i always know i'm just a guy and while i've worked my ass off i've also had grace in my life you know and it i think when you achieve things it comes from incredible obsessive focus massive action and figuring out the how to execute and do things effectively and it's grace and i never forget that that's a part of the formula for where my life is today do you think people need a little bit of ego to have that kind of drive and insanity or obsession or is it more just belief in a bigger vision i think um you know ego can produce drive but that kind of ego will make you not be fulfilled yes and um and we all have it until we get a few hammers because in the beginning when you're young especially a young man i think even more so than a woman um you know you're trying to find yourself you're trying to prove yourself to the world and really you're trying to prove it to yourself like in the very beginning for me i used to attack psychiatrists and psychologists because i care about people so much and because i learned how to handle them in an hour and they're working with someone for seven years and i just go crazy but i was also attacking them because i was also defensive because i didn't have a degree and so i figured i'm going to be on the offense i'm going to show them but as i grew up i realized holy these people care just as much as i do now i've trained a hundred thousand therapists around the world with my partner chloe madonnas we make films of people's lives like suicidal people people who've been through hell and you get to watch how i do it as i do it and then you can see them two years later to know it really worked right um do you ever question choices or decisions you make today okay and does does everything you touch turn into what you want it to be no of course not no no um failure is part of life i mean uh the difference for me though is i look at failure as a stepping stone to success it's a speed bump i know i'm going to fail but it's not failure if you learn something and so gosh i've made so many mistakes i've screwed so many things up but every time i do it just becomes it becomes a way for me to explain to someone else what it takes you know it's like here's what i've done i think i have the ability to influence people because i talk about my failures i talk about all the things that mess me up but i show people that i didn't let it stop me and you don't need to stop you and i think i think that's really the secret that area and if everything you touched was successful you probably gotta relate to people as much no you'll be related and also it's be total and everyone knows and also you'd be bored silly i mean think about it if you just said i want this it happened i want this and it happened you know people don't value what they don't fight for you know it's like you see kids sometimes in it you know your parents will say you're not going to value this if you don't work for it and you're kidding i'll value it just give it to me right but it's true you know the things we've worked the hardest for we value the most so i think you know the purpose of a goal is not getting it anyway the purpose of goal you know is what who you become who you become is going to make you happy or who's going to make you sad so um i'm not looking for an effortless approach there's no such thing now i'm curious about relationships and building wealth is it important to or how important is it to have the right partner in a marriage or an intimate relationship and relating to building wealth does it matter who you choose their mindset does any of that play the effect on how much you're going to make or it won't affect how much you make but it'll take out your relationship a lot right you know getting on the same page is really really important but when my wife and i met my wife we both grew up very poor but i decided that i was going to find a way to add so much value that money would never be a question for my family and you know it would never stop me from giving or doing or sharing anything and i made that decision early on so i became an earner ways of earning she became a negotiator a cost manager her mom's number one thing is somebody comes in she was sharpen your pencil that's not a good enough deal and so when we first met i remember we were we're in new york city and this dates me how old i am but i remember when they first came out with digital cameras the very first digital cameras from sony and it was like such a cool thing you could take 12 pictures or whatever it was but we were down in new york city we're in times square and we went into one of those camera shops it was christmas time and i saw the camera and i was like so excited about this camera and i said you know what we get one for my brother my sister my mom and you know i came up with that and i was like 12 cameras and they were very expensive then i think they're like 1200 or 2000 each they were really crazy now they're like 200 for the same yeah no they're not not even it's a million times better yeah but i go into the counter and the guy goes oh my god tony robbins can i take a picture with you i'll put on the wall and i said sure and she goes hey just sharpen your pencil what kind of deal you're going to get my boyfriend here and i wanted to grab her by the throat and just go what are you doing here it's like what are you doing and she's like no no what's the deal here and he goes oh well uh i gave you 10 off she goes sharpen your pencil 10 you're not taking a picture with my boyfriend and i'm wanting to murder her right and i was so mad i mean i was so mad and so she got like 15 off and free camera cases and all this stuff and i'm shaking my head we left i was like i am so we have this big fight wow today i just call her squeaky she's my squeaky girl she wants to go to walmart as if we'd ever need to go to walmart you know and what i do is i'm delighted by the difference and i go you know what what a beautiful gift i've been in relationships before where i gave everything and the people were totally unconscious with money so they answered your question it's nice to be on the same page but you know one day i told my wife i was coaching someone and the person gave me a quarter of a million dollar bonus i don't care who you are it's mind-boggling it was like he didn't have to it wasn't part of the deal he pays me a million dollars a year plus a piece of the upside and you sit down you did so much for me i just want to give you this additional quarter million dollar bonus it wasn't the money it was the generosity that just knocked me off my chuck seat and so i called my wife i said honey paul gave me a quarter million dollar bonus i mean it's like he's so generous and she goes oh that's nice honey hey do you know what i'm making for lunch and i'm like wow so i used to get upset about now i'm like that's my squeaky little girls i'm thrilled she doesn't have to think about it i'm in charge and um so i don't think your partner has to one of you has to master it and you have to have some alignment okay right but you don't want them to be against you essentially well sometimes they're going to be we were against each other in some ways we're having fights but will you eventually decide is do i want to be right or do i want to be in love yeah i'd rather be in love personally right and then also i just said you know i'd say listen honey i'm i understand your intent i had to go to her intent instead of being frustrated with her saying this is really actually a cool quality and she's my opposite in that area and it's a we're a good we're a good balance now i want to ask you how you personally handle a breakdown because you i've been to your workshop and uh incredible experience thank you and you teach people how to overcome their fears and how to handle breakdowns but how do you personally deal with it and do you even have any breakdowns yeah they sent me a list of questions you had just to kind of give me that was one of the questions and i was like you know it's interesting it's breakdowns it's certainly not something i experience but it's not because i'm so talented or so brilliant or so fearless it's just you're like an athlete you're an athlete yeah you're in shape right you're not going to have a reaction in your body like somebody who doesn't take care of themselves right so you know i believe i don't believe in emotional intelligence i think it's useful but i'm more interested in emotional fitness because intelligence is a capability fitness is a state of readiness interesting if you are fit you can take that demand right now you can deal with it you can deal with that physical stress that emotional stress same is true with psychological fitness emotional fitness right so i'm pretty fit and part of that is not because i'm so smart part of this i i've taught this for decades i remember i had a woman who came on my seminars in um in her i don't know early 80s probably and she would run in this room five ten thousand people i think was you know she had a couple of ten thousand person events and she would get in this front row fight her way through there and she'd jump and go for it at one break she came up to signing a book for her and she says she goes mr adams i've seen you at like eight of these i've seen you like when you're really i know i can hear your voice you're hurting or you haven't slept and she goes you always seem to be so up all the time how come you're so up and i said well part because i attend all these seminars yeah so i'm teaching it so there's a fitness of that but there's also you know i've i've buried three fathers and one mother and you know that affects your life i've uh you know i've had a physician look me in the eye and say you have a tumor in your brain wow and so i've had those moments that when you've had extreme stress and you push your way through it you build psychological muscle it's like it takes a lot to knock me off you know in the early days we didn't have 50 000 to keep the doors open how do we do it then i had you know graduated to 5 million and i graduated to uh a partner that mine who kind of didn't do things well and i ended up owning 100 million dollars because i had to take on his debts 100 million dollars and but when you do all that stuff you know now my companies do five billion you know a year so uh you you keep expanding what i would call really the circle of your the threshold of your influence sure you know everybody has a threshold of control and if you get beyond it you kind of freak out so it takes a little bit more i don't know if you don't have breakdowns it's not a breakdown do i get pissed off or get frustrated or tired yeah but breakdown honestly no so how do you handle if you get tired of something i sleep when i can't i mean it's honestly it's pretty simple but you know when when i've had uh challenging times i mean i have so many tools yeah you know i pull them out and mostly so it's like you as an athlete you know you don't just physically break down right you take care of yourself so i'm constantly training that i think most people don't train their mind and emotions it's like i think the most powerful muscles to me are not physical they're strong as important as they are it's like faith is a muscle courage is a muscle determination's a muscle playfulness is a muscle you know passion unexpressed weakens you know faith untested gets smaller so i'm always i i call it deep practice i'm always pushing myself to the edge and pushing yourself the edge makes you stronger yeah in the book uh i was really excited to hear you talk about you say the secret to wealth is gratitude somewhere in the book it says that i think maybe it was someone else you were referencing yes it came from john templeton and every day i practice gratitude when i wake up and every night i always try to say to my girlfriend or someone i'm talking to before i go to sleep three things i'm most grateful for right now why so i was pleased to see that i was like i'm on the right track if i'm living in gratitude but why is that the secret to wealth well sir john templeton is probably one of the greatest investors in history he people don't know his name uh he started out with nothing um he wasn't sir he wasn't from the country came from the us and he decided that he wanted to understand wealth and so he saved ten thousand dollars a huge amount of money in those days and when hitler invaded poland he developed a belief his belief was you make your money in times of maximum pessimism like if you were around a 2008-9 you remember what was like right you could have bought you know the sands in las vegas you could about their stock for two dollars and 28 cents today at 67 wow it's a 3 000 return not bad um you could have bought uh citibank for less than a buck right so people in those times he understood that and so what he did was and everybody thought the world was gonna end he took ten thousand dollars he bought every stock on new york stock exchange it was a dollar or less including companies everybody thought we're going bankrupt but when things are bad people think it's gonna be bad forever when things are good i think it's gonna be good forever and they're always wrong life's cyclical so there's a season for everything so once we got through world war ii and a few years later guess what those same stocks made him a billionaire so when i asked him i said what's the secret to wealth his responsibility touched me goes you know it you teach it i said what's that he said gratitude and i said why do you say that he said because if you got a billion dollars and every day you live pissed off and frustrated the quality of your life is called pissed off and frustrating right but if you have nothing but you're euphorically grateful for whatever you have you're the richest person that you're gonna know he said so it doesn't matter how much money you got if you don't have gratitude so i do the same thing by the way i have a process i call it priming where i get up every morning i do mine in the morning i just radical change to my body kind of alter my state and then i do 10 minutes i never miss and my first three and a half minutes is what i'm really grateful for and i make myself think of at least one of those three that's something really simplistic there's something giant you know the wind on my face the look in one of my kids eyes you know something of that nature and then i do three minutes of strengthening healing and i do three minutes of what i'm gonna create my world and i do that for a minimum of 10 minutes every day because i believe you have to condition you don't just hope that stuff shows up you set your intention each morning every day yeah very cool so what are you most grateful for recently in your life so many things um well it's thanksgiving so one piece well one is uh my daughter is 40 years old and she's she's blind forever and she's going to bring me a grandson wow congratulations thank you very much that's cool um but also it's thanksgiving so for me it's a very emotional time because my family was fed when i was 11 we had no food at thanksgiving and uh it touched me so deeply and i decided i was going to get back so when i was 17 i fed two families and then four and then eight and then i didn't tell me i was doing it and then i got my friends to do it and my companies grew and you know i've had 42 million people now over 37 years and uh but you have a challenge for this right well this one what i did is i decided you know i'm writing this book and in the middle of writing it last summer most people don't even notice congress cut food stamps they don't call food stamps anymore but i lived on them so i know what they are food stamps my family family lived on them but they cut it by 8.7 billion which means you eliminate 2 million people from the rolls overnight and they still need to eat so i support all these non-profit organizations and feeding america is the largest in the country and so i thought i want to call attention to this so if i donated all the profits of this book in advance how many people could i feed because i normally feed two million through my foundation and i match it so i need four million a year and uh they said you could feed 10 million people i was like wow i mean and then as the years gone by i got more and more inspired and so now i'm going to feed 50 million people personally i'm not just in the book i'm writing a larger check on top of it but also i'm working with feeding america to get matching funds to meet 100 million people incredible so to go from my family not being able to eat to feeding 100 million people is a pretty amazing sense of gratitude and a sense of grace and yeah i've done my part but there's been grace in that as well it's amazing it's it's incredible what you're doing and very inspiring so thank you for doing that so anybody gets a book your feedback is for you yeah but it also feed on the average 50 families everybody 100 is being done not only more than that yes that's amazing now i think i also read in the book i don't know if you said this or someone else said this but the key to living is giving yes now i think i might have heard you say this actually back when i first saw you when i was 16 an event and um i remember thinking i don't have anything to give i don't have any money you know how am i supposed to invest my money yeah 10 20 every month and then how can i give on top of that but i really understood that you know it's so valuable and important to give and i work with a lot of non-profits myself building schools for kids around the world and i've seen a big impact in my life and the way i'm able to serve people sir john templeton told me that uh he's never seen anyone tithe which you know tithing's usually 10 of what you earn for at least a decade who didn't become incredibly financially free wow and i think the reason is uh i had a moment like when my whole life changed it was kind of twofold i had i was i was really young like yourself back then right working my tail off trying to build a business and you had big goals you know you don't always succeed to start with right together right you know it was hard and i remember i was so frustrated because i was working 18 hour days and nothing was working and i was broke and i felt embarrassed you know i should be doing better than this and so i was driving home from orange county on the 57th freeway in san gabriel valley out in their place in pomona california probably just not anybody else i remember so vividly because it was almost midnight and i was at this breaking point and then i was like why am i not you know doing better and then i just pulled over the road and i used to keep these journals i still have them written journals and i wrote in big lines you know the secret to living is giving and i started to cry and i realized i am so focused on what am i not getting focusing on what i'm giving yeah so for six months man it turned me around but then you know something else i get in your body it was in my head it was in my heart but i had to get in there to stay and i started going through some really tough times and i lost everything financially and i was mad at every because like i've loaned a friend a thousand bucks and you know i'm doing well and he didn't even turn my phone call oh and what changed me was i i was down i don't know 22 23 bucks something like that i don't know it's 24 enough that i knew that i didn't have money for food for the next week clearly and i didn't have any prospects and i was living in venice in this 400 square foot bachelor apartment feeling sorry for myself and i thought you know what i gotta eat so i'm not gonna drive my car because i'm not gonna spend the gas i'm not gonna pay for parking sure i'm gonna go to an all-you-can-eat place and load up for the winter right so i can get more like one meal a day right and so uh and there's a place called marina del rey not far from venice and it's beautiful community and it's right on the water and there's a place called el torito it's still there it's a little uh restaurant it had taco bar and all that kind of stuff so i walked there for the three miles and i go like i'm gonna go and load up and i was all about myself and getting through this and this little well this woman walked the door actually very attractive lady that's probably why i caught my hat and i'm waiting to see who her boyfriend is and there's nobody up there there's a little guy down here he was obviously her son and he's wearing this three-piece suit you know a little vest he opens the door for he pulls out the chair for her and it was just he stared at his mother's eyes i mean it was just pierced into her eyes i don't know what it was but something about him was just so moving it was such a sweet caring loving young man to his mother that moved me so i i paid for my meal and always left 17 18 bucks put it back in my pocket was left walked up this young man introduced myself and i said hi i don't understand what he said his name is ronnie and that's ronnie i said that said you're really i said you're a class actor i saw you open the door for your lady i saw you held up the chair for your lady goes she's my mom i said that's even more classy right right and he's and i said so cool that you're taking that to lunch like this and he goes well i'm not really taking a lunch because i'm just 11 and i don't have a job you know i said yes you are and i had no plan literally i just reached in my pocket took all my head change dollar bills and threw it right there in front of him he looked at me like this he goes i can't take that i said sure you can he said why i said because i'm bigger than you are you and he got this big grin in his face his eyes got this big and i didn't i just shook his hand i didn't even look at this while his mom and i just walked out the door but the reason i tell you the story is i had no car i had no money i did not i was euphoric i was like flying home i was like you know i look like an idiot probably skipping or something i mean i was just i and what i thought was i should have been like what the hell did you just do i had no meal when i was gonna eat i went on that night i laid out a plan and the plan was going to take me you know ten days two weeks so i thought well people fast for a week i could fast for a week you know that type of thing and i was this great mindset about it i woke up the next morning and i get the old regular snail mail shows up and this guy i've called a zillion times it wouldn't return my call open it up there's a check thousand bucks plus interest and an apology wow so i'm sitting there and i started to cry honestly and i was just like why did this happen you know and i don't know if it's true but i decided that day this happened because i did the right thing because i didn't have a plan it wasn't a strategy i just felt this little soul beside me i knew it was right and i did it and i didn't do it because i thought i could or i couldn't i didn't even think about it and that's the day i became a wealthy man because i didn't have any money but scarcity left my body and i have plenty of ups and downs since that time and various times in my life but i never went back to that oh my god you know how's it gonna happen it's like breathing do you stop and say god is there gonna be the air before you take a breath you know it's gonna be there right you don't you don't run your life by that aspect and so that to me is what it's about is showing people if you don't give a dime out of a dollar don't yourself you'll never give a million out of 10 million or 10 million out of 100 million it's just not going to happen right but if you can do that now you you don't ever get beyond scarcity you start behind it you you make a decision to get beyond it so how does someone you know when they're living in scarcity living in fear yeah and it's like this emotional feeling it's in your body like you say when you're like i can't even pay for my meal how am i going to like start giving what are some things that people can do to start overcoming that mindset or start strengthening it or shifting it i'll tell you a couple of things i'll tell you what i did when i was first on my own you know i got my dad my mom kicked my dad out when i was 17. she's very powerful alumni four fathers so they all learned how to get the boot she does in his side so she kicked me out next i was 17. she chased me out with a knife she wouldn't hurt me but i wasn't going back in the room and um that's not to figure out what to do and i definitely stay and you know stay in somebody's laundry room for a while and i started reading and feeding my mind and then i developed this little system and the system was really simple and i tell people now as i say number one every single day you've got to feed and strengthen your mind until you do that you're always going to be in fear because fear's automatic the human brain is designed for survival it's not designed for success your brain is not designed to make you happy that's your job right the only way you're going to do it is if you feed your mind because otherwise weeds grow automatically by drinking my coach mentor jim rohn's tell me so tony every day you got to stand guard at the door of your mind you got to watch what's going in because if you're not careful stuff will go in he's saying all the times is somebody who cares about you he said you know if you're your family yeah if your worst enemy puts sugar in your coffee he said what happens i said you got sweet coffee because what if your best friend by accident or your family don't mean to they drop one drop of strychnine in your coffee you're dead he said so life sugar and strychnine and watch your coffee right right so every day i decided i i'm old enough honestly there was no internet those days i'm pretty ancient i used to go to the library because it's the only place to go and i would i read biographies i'd read people's lives and it would make me go wait a second as bad as i think it is the greatest people in the world had it worse sure so there's something here so you feed your mind jim rohn you say to me skip a meal but don't skip reading i said read 30 minutes a day i don't give a damn what it is today i don't mean internet crap i mean read something a biography read something that's a strategy read something's gonna change your life and the second thing i tell people is feeding your mind is great but you gotta also strengthen your body and you do that as an athlete naturally i learned to do that because fear is physical right you know where you feel it and if you go work out if you go lift if you go run even if you're out of shape you just go from an intense walk that experience alone changes your life every day in my life the first thing i do before i do my priming if i'm one of my homes i jump in some hot water for fun and i jump in freezing water and i have you know a river you know and one of my homes in sun valley and i've got cold plungers everywhere so i go in 57 degree water boom and what it does is like it's teaching my brain i do i tell my brain what to do and it doesn't it doesn't feel like it doesn't want to do it and every cell in your body is alive right so it doesn't have to be like two hours worth of something it could be something you do for 30 seconds but it's training your body to be strong because a strong body could strong mind and vice versa yeah the third thing i tell people is find a role model you know it it seems impossible till you see somebody's done it so yeah you know ray dalio is one of the greatest investors in history the guy was a caddy right you know his dad was a jazz musician his mom was a homemaker you know he's worth 14 billion dollars he found someone to mentor him he found well he found multiple people to model right right you don't always find a mentor but you find somebody you can model and when you start seeing that somebody else can do it and you see they really did you start to believe you start to get surgery and then the fourth thing i tell people is it's massive action and constantly change your approach and then it's find somebody worse off than you are and help them because when you do that it gets you out of yourself yeah and that's what i really have people do that's what we do thanksgiving we have our basket brigade where two million people get fed amazing i'm not the one i do the one that i get people to do and it's amazing people go in there and they see my god i thought my life was tough look at this person's life it makes you appreciative it puts life in perspective but i wanted to ask first what the difference is between someone who is financially rich and someone who's financially poor what's the difference there's lots of differences but i'd say the first one is someone who is financially rich is an owner they're not a consumer they're a consumer also but when somebody is poor they're a consumer that all they do is they take the you know i always tell people we're all financial traders i'm not a financial trader yes you are you're trading time for money that's the worst trade you can ever make in your life somebody who's wealthy has made money their slave they're no longer the slave to money and the way they do that is they figured out how to become an owner and the way you do that in the most simplistic way i even taught in my first book was you have to decide there's a percentage of money that you're going to keep forever you're not going to give it to kate spade or ferrari or anybody else you can do that too but there's a percentage of that income that never will be touched that you will grow and compound and will provide income for the rest of your life so you don't have to work now when i was growing up everybody's goal was get rich enough so you never have to work now like all my friends are 15 18 years my senior people like uh steve wynn in most of las vegas he's like 74. uh warren buffett's 85. uh peter gruber one of my dearest friends the world owns the golden state warriors the la dodgers we're partners in the lafc football team in l.a brilliant guy 74 years old and they're all working harder now than they ever were and they don't have to work so the goal is make enough money so you don't have to work and then you'll do what you love and you'll pour your time and energy into it but you have to make that decision it's the first most important decision is i'm going to become an owner of american business you don't want to have an apple phone and not own apple and you don't want to just own apple because any company can go up and down right you want to own the index you want to own you know a variety with enough diversification but if you can just shift and i've taught people who've told me they couldn't they have no money they can't save it's really easy once you get momentum there's a research project i did with um a gentleman uh who was nominated for nobel prize on behavioral finance and what he did was he said if you can even you know you need to say 15 ideally but if you could even say 3 because anybody can do that they took a group of blue collar workers in the midwest and said we're going to force you to save three percent it was three and a quarter or three and a half but then we're everybody can go on a diet tomorrow everybody can save money tomorrow right yeah so his tool was all right you're not going to save today you're going to save tomorrow we'll do the three and a half percent but then you go to your employer and say the next time i get a raise the first five percent goes to my savings account to my investing account and then every time you get a raise to do that well in 14 years the average person was saving 15 and the top 40 were saving 20. now let me explain what that means you and i were together before i when i'm trying to explain compounding to people everybody understands it intellectually but when i ask some of the richest people in the world what are most investors failing to do and they all say they're not tapping the power of compounding so if you're in a situation where as an example let's take your you've got a hundred thousand dollars that you've saved you're 35 years old and you put it in the market and just leave it there and never add anything to it if you leave in the market and you're only being charged one percent in fees at retirement 35 years later you got 762 000 from that 100 never added a dime they grew that much but if you pay three percent of fees which is the average most people are paying you ask people where they're paying they don't know or they say one percent because when you hear about fees let's say a mutual fund fee you'll always hear one percent that's the expense ratio there are 17 other fees so every one percent you overpay you know one percent is the average but if you pay two or three and the average mutual fund is three point one two something nothing one or two percent but every one percent you'll prevail because of compounding means you lose a decade of income so the person paid one percent has 762 000 the person who paid three percent has 450 2 000 and they own the same stocks it's just fees so while we compound our interest we also compound fees so if you could save three percent and build it to five 10 50 or you start with 10 or 15 and eventually get to 20. the best example i can give your viewers is that uh there's a gentleman who worked for ups who literally never made more than 14 000 a year you heard about him in the book and when he retired he had 70 million dollars and he gave away 35 million while he was alive and the reason was a friend of his set him aside and said look i'm going to make you rich because i'm never going to be rich i make 14 a year he goes i'm going to make you rich i'm going to make you rich later in life and i'm going to do it bring a 20 tax to your business and he goes i make 14 000 a year i can't live 120 less and his friend said to him if the irs came and said that 20 more tax you would scream you yell and you'd pay it yeah and he said we're gonna pay it for you and that 20 compounded generated 70 million dollars so wow for the people that are at home the sooner you start the better off you are because compounding does it i've got an example in the book of a guy that starts at 19 he puts aside 300 a month he stops at 27. so he does it for eight years he only puts in i think it was uh 35 000 yep but it's a any it's a million dollars by leaving in the market when he turned 65 and he stopped at 28. he has a best friend that starts at 28 invests his entire life puts in all 180 000 and he has less money at the end the sooner you start the better you are yeah so many questions i want to ask i don't know what i want to ask so what up is there a way to be financially free just by saying i'm going to earn more every year as opposed to investing every year can you do without bit investing at all or do you have to invest and when you say put it in the market you mean putting in index funds well in the book i explained you've got to have diversification right don't just throw it in the stock and just no and what most people do is they go to a mutual fund and they think it sounds logical i'm i'm no good at this this is not my skill a person says you go to a professional runs a mutual fund what do they do they figure out a series of investments to make they put it in the fund and they do it for you and you think well gosh you know they're smarter than i am they'll do well you assume that but the truth is they charge so much that even if they did have an advantage they lose it i interviewed david swenson who's the head of chief investment officer at yale it took you out 200 years to get a billion dollars that they saved he turned into 25 billion in two decades unheard of he's the greatest institutional investor of all time and one of things that he told me he said tony you just got to understand something he said you're never going to earn your way to wealth he said how many people have you seen movie stars actors athletes you know the other day 50 cent just went broke right he made a hundred million dollars on vitamin water and somebody gave him a tip and he's he was had a half a half a billion dollars and he's broke completely mike tyson made a half a billion dollars and went broke you can understand that a little bit yeah i think it's 78 of nfl players go bankrupt two years after that's prior and the average lifespan of an fl player is three and a half years so these guys work their whole life they go through these rough injuries and they don't invest so yeah the answer is you can make a fortune elton john didn't go bankrupt because it's different rules in england but he got in trouble who i just saw the other day is um what's his name the pirates caribbean what's his name um johnny depp johnny depp johnny depp's going bankrupt right now johnny depp he's making 20 30 million a year johnny was worth 700 million dollars three quarters of a billion he's on the verge of bankruptcy right now can't pay his bills he was paying 30 000 a month on wine alone right gosh he spent three million dollars to take hunter thompson's body burn it put the dust into this giant cannon and shoot his dust into the space three million bucks it doesn't matter how much money you earn you can always get rid of it buy an so what i show people is what you really want to do is create an income for life without working the goal if you own a business and i would assume a lot of your viewers are business owners are getting started in business no matter how good you are in business think about this the one universal rule that idiots in finance know is diversification it's the only free lunch you've got to diversify because if you put all your eggs in one basket no matter how good the basket is one day that real estate market that stock market that bond market that collectibles market whatever you invest in radel you showed me statistically it'll drop 50 to 70 on a day now if you're later in life when that happens it's over for you right so you have to diversify and yet most people they know real estate so they do it or they know stocks they do it or they grew up with their hand their parents flipping things and it's the wrong thing to do so you've got to diversify in order for you to be able to truly succeed and that's why when you own a business yeah if you put all your money in your business which is what most of us do naturally you see a lot of risk you put all your eggs in one basket and there's things that can happen i mean you know you're let's say you spent 20 years and you figured out how to put together the ultimate map you know and you remember garmin came out with this thing called the tomtom i don't know if you remember you used to put on your are you old enough to remember that you could put it on your phone yeah or you just put on your dash cost 100 bucks it was a breakthrough they were making like 100 million or something yeah yeah six months later what happened the iphone came out with google maps these little bastards this is my friend came out with it put google maps put their own map on here and test how much zero what's it gonna do your business when someone takes your product reserve and gives away for free so i always tell people competition happens technology happens what you must do is have a second business with no with no moving parts no people no time maybe it takes you two to three days a year for two or three hours after you've read the book you put it in place and you measure it two three times a year that's it yeah go on with your life now if there's a trouble in your business you're financially set i in my life i have 31 companies now we have you know what we have 1200 employees seven different industries we do five billion in sales i mean i that used to be you know me and my seminar business it's grown geometrically but with all those moving parts the only way i've been able to succeed is because i've taken every one of those businesses and i've diversified my assets so that when things were in trouble i still have enough economics to take care of myself and keep the business going so everybody needs to create a money machine that works while you sleep that doesn't have moving parts and that's what this is really about you have a great cartoon in the book um where there's a kid asking his father you know something about like how do you invest your money or how's the stock market work and he says you put your money in at the peak it starts to go down and lose money and so you get scared and you take it out and then someone smarter than you makes all the money something like that so how do we how do and i've done that in the past where i put my money in somewhere high it went down and i was like oh i just lost a bunch of money let me take it out yeah and then i put it back in another time and i'm like what am i doing so how do we um invest without fear of oh it's going down i need to take it out or like trying to time it how do we do that great question it's one of the main reasons i wrote the book i always tell people if you just read the second chapter of the book nothing else it'll change your life you're doing that with multiple chapters but that chapter is really about teaching people that winter is coming we all know winter's coming right quite a phrase but that winter is the best time on earth and i know that's counterintuitive and i don't mean like being a positive thinker i mean pure facts so in the book i take you through 10 facts i'll give you a couple of them right now the first fact i get people is why do people not invest they're afraid of failing they if you're a millennial right so you grew up witnessing 2008 when you're still relatively young how old are you now 33. okay so you were what 27 what what 2008 um yeah 27 yeah 27 28 years old so you're a young man and you're watching the world melting down in front of you for most millennials they are the first generation since the generation that went through the depression that is not investing at the ratio they need to even close and they have more debt than everyone probably right with all the they have more college debt than everyone absolutely true i have a friend that has 400 000 in debt dental school president obama just paid off his debt five years ago while he was still president no i swear to god it's mind-boggling and he had a bunch of scholarships for the last bit it took him that long so what i tell them is listen debt paying off your debt's not enough you've got to become an owner or you're always going to be in that place so yes pay off your debt but here's what you need to know you got to become an owner you got to get in the game but you got to understand the rules of the game you know the rules of the game the old phrase is you get you know when a person with experience meets a person with money we know the phrase the person the money ends up with leaks personal experience ends up with your money right yeah so i teach people the rules in the game so they don't get screwed but the most important thing is this winter's coming but people react so let's take last year last january 2016 we had the worst stock market opening in the history of the stock market first first i think was 10 days there was a drop of 2.3 trillion dollars with the t crazy everybody's freaking thinking the bear market's here the market's over the crash is here i think the market dropped 800 points one day and on that day all the richest people in the world were in davos switzerland you know for the big conference that they do every year and they went there msnbc went there and everybody's freaking let's have what are we going to do and they said let's go ask ray dalio now your listeners may or may not know ray value as if if you're not in the financial business probably never heard of them you've probably heard of warren buffett but ray valley has done more you have a 5 billion net worth and 100 million dollars to give him we wouldn't talk to you 10 years ago now he doesn't give how much money you have in one time because he's got a close fund but they go and they put value on television cnbc he's the king what do we do and he says well you don't need to panic corrections happen all the time but you need a strategy that when markets go up and down you don't go up and down and he said i spent 15 years of my life to perfect such a strategy all of my money's in that plan and he said it's called all seasons and i've never revealed it before but i gave it to tony robbins he extracted from me and it's his book so you gotta go read his book he says on national television the data markets are crashing and that day to give you an idea which is the beginning of february i think it was nine days in february the market was down nine percent in the first five weeks of the year his strategy which he gave me which is made money 85 of the time for the last 75 years wow it's averaged the 10 return just under and the average loss of when it 15 loss was 1.6 right so if you go to vegas and you could spend 85 percent of time make money and when you made money it was 10 percent you lost is 1.6 you can't go forever his plan made 2 while the market was down nine so it was up 11 difference now i'm not suggesting that's the only strategy to do there's many his is the smoothest ride with the least risk but what it did was combination of that and then right after that i interviewed uh fed chair alan greenspan he was the head of our economy the the most powerful man in finance for 19 years four presidents he was there running i was just with president clinton this last week he was he was the fed chair for him and i interviewed him for like two hours you know three hours off stage two hours in front and i asked him in the very beginning of this thing i said to him i said look if you could be put the fed today what would you do and he looks at me and as i said he leans forward and he says resign so i look at that and go oh my god i need to write a booklet of three people so here's what will free you everyone's afraid of the crash so here's we need to know two terms you should understand correction versus crash anytime the market drops from its high by 10 or more up to 20 it's called a correction right if it drops 20 or more up to 80 percent like in you know the great depression then it's called a crash or called a bear market okay so how often does a correction happen now how often we have to be prepared for it since 1900 we've had a correction on average every year wow for 116 years so when is winter coming this year on average it's like how often does winter come you wouldn't be surprised if it's stormed in rain now some winters are long some are short some are harsh some are light but winter always comes so i wasn't panicked when this happened last year i'm not panic whatever it happens because i know it's supposed to be yeah how long does it last average 56 days okay so just under two months what's the average drop during that time 14 over the last 30 years 13.5 of last 100 years so i use the more recent one fourteen percent get your attention right fourteen percent you get a little gut check but here's what you need to know eighty percent of all corrections never become a bear market eighty percent so all this fear and what people do is what you said you did is they see it it's freaking out and losing money i'm the hell out of here and they get out the stock market never took a dime from anybody only you can take it from it you sold that's why you lost right right so if you look back and say what was it like in 2008 i can remember vividly being with my platinum partners and saying you see these 80 stocks this is six months before the crash i told them in april i brought them to dubai and i said these stocks are going to go to eight and some are going to go to a buck and by october and i told them what to do so they were able to get out october i go on the today show in october of 2008 and they go tony there's been three trillion dollars meltdown pump the country up you got four minutes ready at that point the 80 stocks were eight i said some of those i said i'm not a market forecaster but i work with paul tudor jones one of the greatest investors in the history of the world in the biggest market crash in history in 1987 he made 200 wow when everybody else was losing their entire life i've been coaching him continuously now for 24 years every single day so i said i work with the best in the world and they're telling me based on history in the 30s in history in the 70s this eight dollar stock summer gonna be a buck and i remember the day in march of 2009 citibank which had been i think seventy dollars sold for 97 cents you could go and take your money out of the atm it cost you more to take your money up than to own the bank right and then i told people it'll jump from 99 cents to six ten twelve dollars in a month or two is exactly what it did right so what you got to know is corrections happen every year you've got another couple months gotta know it's 14 and you won't lose because 80 times it doesn't go to a bear now what about the bear the bear market it happens to give you an idea in the last hundred years every three to five years you've gone eight without one we're way overdue yeah so in modern years last 30 years it's about every five years the average length of a bear is one year the average drop is 33 percent a third of those drops go 40 or above that i don't care how well prepared you are that's a scary thing yeah but it is the greatest opportunity in your lifetime to go from wherever you are financially to where you want to be i hope your audience is listening right now hear me if you want to leapfrog and you're a millennial and you think there's no future or you're you know a baby boomer and you think you're too old and it's too late the greatest gift you have is coming i know it doesn't sound like it this is not positive thinking this is the truth wall street the stock market is the only place that when things go on sale people freak out if i said you like ferraris sure if i said to you ferraris go on sale for 50 off awesome but when i tell you apple's on sale for fifty percent off you go oh what am i gonna do here what's wrong the whole world's coming to an end if you think about it how old are you 33. 33. so let's assume if you were 35 you lived to 85 you got 50 52 years ahead of you that means you have 52 more corrections to live through right that means you're probably in those 50 years gonna have 10 more bear markets to live through if you're going to have a gut checks every time or you're going to leave out of it right if you didn't participate because you thought oh the market's too volatile i can't trust it all that stuff you missed 250 percent return in the last eight years i mean you've missed out on everything while you're waiting for things to be better and if you won't do it when it's like this when it crashes you're not going to get in so here's the good news about the bear good news about the bear average ones a year could be longer but that's the average could be shorter but here's what's cool every single bear market in the history of the united states has led to a bull market meaning right afterwards so 2008 this plummeting what happened in 2009 up 67 in the year i can show you every single bear market and the next year when it comes out it's this explosion now that's not true in every market in the world it's true for two centuries in the united states so that's why warren buffett says i want to be greedy when people are afraid and i want to be afraid when people are greedy if you remember 2008 he was telling everybody bye he was having the time of his life bye bye bye everything's on sale so what you have to do to become unshakeable is turn when i only the metaphor i use is the turn the snake into the rope meaning we all know the story it's the middle of the night you're walking through the yard or someplace and you see a snake and you're freaked out you pull back you come in the morning and it's a rope once you know it's a rope you're never afraid again i want to take for people investing and show them how to turn that snake into the rope it really is and i'll tell you one final stat on all this people always say and you start to bring it up timing how do i time it like right now things are too expensive oh wait people have been saying that for eight years is there going to be correction yes but when it corrects you just you want to invest again you'll get dollar cost averaging if you paid a little too much here you'll pay paying less here it'll bring the average price to a reasonable price it's going to allow you to succeed but here's what people need to know about timing if you are not in the market it's the most dangerous thing this is so counter-intuitive so i hope your audience is listening let me show you research there's two different research projects one was done by jp morgan i just spoke to them the other day at their alternative investments conference and to be in the room there are 400 people you have to have a billion dollar network to get in the room crazy it was mind-boggling right so jp morgan did a study and also schwab did a separate study 20-year studies in the last 20 years to give an idea the average s p 500 that index has produced eight point two percent over thirty years it was ten point uh twenty eight in the last twenty years a little bit less still great you double your money you know roughly you're you're in a position you're doubling money a little more than every uh you know you know what is it now seven point two so be like a little more in 10 years but here's what they found out if you missed the 10 best trading days in 20 years because you're trying to time the market and you're not in it during one of those days you went from 8.2 return over that period per annum per year it dropped down almost half 4.5 what are the chances of you knowing the past 10 days to trade in 20 years none yeah right warren buffett said market timers and market forecasters are only there to make fortune tellers look good because no one can do it successfully even if they do it for a while it doesn't last because luck you know uh jack bogle told me he started vanguard you know three trillion dollar company he said we took guerillas a thousand in a room and had him flip coins and we did we said how many times he got had somebody got tails just gorilla's flipping them randomly and he said one gorilla in that set of of those turns flipped heads 21 times in a row now when you look at that see all these gorillas doing it you look out and say what a lucky gorilla he said but in the hedge fund industry in the mutual fund industry when somebody does tend to bro you go what a brilliant investor right what a genius and it's just it's just averages in luck at that time yeah in fact he showed me that 96 of all mutual funds failed to match the market over a 10-year period of time only four percent make it they're constantly changing so the statistic i want people to know is if you missed the 20 best trading days in the last 20 years just 20 days and 20 years one day a year and 20 years and you're wrong you're wrong on timing you're 8.2 doesn't drop to 4.5 it drops to 2 percent you might as well be honoring a bond you have no risk right if you missed the top 40 trading days to give you an idea you are minus two percent so you've got to get in the market and if you're saying what about my timing though study was done by schwab if you've got the perfect timing for the year the right day the best possible day to buy some people the worst day someone else dollar cost averages just keeps spending the same amount every month regardless of prices and somebody stays in cash who has the worst return the guy trying to time or no cash the cash you get nothing for cash gotcha the guy who was the best had the best timing got it the guy that was the worst the guy the dollar cost average and the one that was on the worst day were almost identical but after seven years there was only a 20 000 difference in accumulated assets between the worst day and the best day the worst was not being in the market right so you got to be and i'm not saying put everything in stocks we teach in the book all these different assets but stocks in the last two centuries have provided the highest return so you have to have significant exposure to that if you want to get the highest return got it and what i love uh in the book you say that 80 of financial success is psychological 20 is mechanical right so it's not about timing and trying to like figure all these things out and when's the best thing or the best funder this is not about trading it's about investing trading is trying to do that and most people lose money trading even the guys that tell you make money see it all they're making money two or three years from now they usually eat the dust right exactly so yes you've got to have the psychology and my best way of psychology is not to pump you up if you want to be unshakable you want to be educated and you want to the facts you want to know look every five years i'm gonna get a bear maybe three years i'm gonna get a correction every year but i'm to be in the market and make money do you know that six of the 10 best trading days in the 20 years happen within two weeks of the worst trading day so when when trump was elected the market dropped i think it was 800 points that night then he at three or four in the morning he made a speech where he was somewhat you know human and normal and the market got all its money back and since then we're up 14 in november december january in three months february you know three and a half months so people need to understand you've got to be in the market because the worst days will bring you your best day [Music] now i went to india last year and i went to one world academy that's great connected with christian g and p to g the whole team and i went for two and a half weeks that's all it was a game changer and i'd heard that you'd went there yes and she's a good friend of mine when i read the end of the book you talked about beautiful state suffering state what i learned yes and i love how you share that you know you used to talk about you know being in peak state as often as you can but now you really kind of transition into a beautiful state right yeah because i were talking he says it really beautiful to me he's a dear friend i've known him for i guess about 15 years his father is one of the most powerful spiritual teachers in india oneness and so you know give an idea he's considered an avatar there so i went there and they had an opening christian she helped to organize it and they expected a quarter million people over five days and a half a million people showed up the first morning so it was like the ultimate craziness if you imagine so he's got some really beautiful grounding and his father is uh is not just a religious man he's really a spiritual man he he believes whatever you believe is wonderful but what you have to do is wire your brain so that you're connected to the aspect of your spirit or oneness and he teaches various ways to do this so anyway christian g and i over the years have done a lot of fun things together in this about two years ago we were having a conversation and he said you know you teach the secret to life is peak state versus lousy state or being energy rich versus energy poor that a relationship you can love somebody but if the energy's low it's not going to show up the energy is high well he's what if you swap those words and you swap peak state for a beautiful state i said that works you know high energy state is a beautiful state any state where your high energy would be like love or joy or gratitude or drive or courage or faith or you know playfulness or fun any of those things are beautiful states so he goes yeah yeah i agree and i said and then suffering states would be low energy states so that would be frustration sadness anger resentment loneliness boredom whatever he goes yeah that's exactly right so i can swap those because if you swap them there's something cool that you might see or do i said what's that christian jean he said well he said i have made a decision that i'm gonna live my life where i'm gonna live in a beautiful state every day no matter what even if it doesn't even if it rains on my parade even if people do things that are unjust he said the reason is because in a beautiful state just like you teach peak state everything flows i said well that's pretty much what i've been teaching goes yes but if you think of the lousy states as suffering states he said then you can end suffering just by ending the state and i said i don't really relate to the word suffering and i think most achievers do most achievers don't even get fearful we get stressed i always tell people fear is the chief word for stress because if they follow your stress it'll take me to your fear but i realized i didn't relate to suffering like if you told me two years ago tony do you suffer are you kidding me i got the greatest life i have the most incredible wife and four kids and i got 31 companies and i'm financially free and i have a mission i love and i'm in good health and that would all be honest i wouldn't have been dishonest about it but what really helped me out of that conversation i left there and i went well where do i suffer and i realize frustration is suffering i get frustrated yeah you know i get concerned i get pissed off i get you know worried sometimes i get these feelings and so what i decided to do was you know just really create a 90-second rule for myself where i would end suffering as it arises because anybody tells you you're going to end suffering full of crap the reason is your brain is a 2 million year old brain it's not designed to make you happy it's designed to make you survive but there's no saber-tooth tiger for you to react to anymore so now we worry about what are people thinking of us do i have enough money and in this country in america if you are in utter poverty and i hate poverty i feed 100 million people a year so i'm not sitting on the sidelines but if you make the worst and the least amount of money in this country and you're in total poverty you're in the one percent of earners on the earth because 75 percent of the planet lives on 2.50 cents a day right right so what i try to do is show people you can't build on failure you can only dollar success so over the last two years what i've done is played this little 90-second rule and if i feel tension in me i go okay that's suffering where does it come from what am i stressed about what are they concerned about and what i immediately do is i realize the stressful thought since i've seen christianity i kind of traded one thing what i really do now is i dig in and i notice that the only time you have stress or suffer is when you believe a stressful thought so what would be one or two of the most stressful thoughts that happen to you most often because we all have them right you know you can be an overachiever and you still do it so what would be two thoughts that show up a lot that make you stressed you know something's not going well in my business or it's not the way i wanted to look or be or you know one of someone on my team messed up and it makes me look a certain way or am i you know there's a sense of loss yes my insanity yes my ego gets like yes so when i told christian g as i said christian gi said i think i found the three triggers to suffering it was what's that i said it's lost less than ever whenever you believe your mind believes a stressful thought like oh my god i'm not my business is not going here oh this guy screwed this up and now i've lost something i've lost this opportunity or i've lost the time or i've lost the money or it cannot be someone else could be you you could say i failed to do this i did something or i failed to do something and as a result i've lost something i value significance trust love money freedom whatever or you've said something or did something or failed to do something or i failed to do something or say something and i feel like i have less love or less money or less freedom less like yourself for the one the worst is never if you start believing that because she said that or she did that or because i failed to do this or i said that i'll never have love again i'll never be wealthy i'll never be free once you believe that it's true because you won't initiate you won't solve it you won't create it so i'm very sensitive to loss less than ever anything that triggers that and the antidote to it is to realize it's not you so your thought of god you know my business stressful is just gonna you know i'm sure it'll make a little more part of you like is this going to make it right or this guy screwed up and look it screwed me out of all these things when those things happen and you suffer it puts you in a mode what you're really suffering about is yourself and you were honest about it thank you for that i saw you do it you said you know well i was thinking this guy did this and it cost me this it's the meaning me that makes her suffer yeah when a woman will say i'm really worried about my children i'm you know i'm really stressed she's suffering about her children and i'll listen to her and i'll say tell me and she'll say well they're not doing this not doing that and i'll turn to her usually and say i hope you can hear yourself because the real reason you're suffering is not because your children it's not because they're not doing well it's because you think you've failed them it's about you because otherwise you just be working on the solution right but you're busy beating yourself up feeling bad thinking the worst case scenario right so the antidote to suffering the underdog loss less than ever is appreciation i always tell people trade your expectation for appreciation your whole life changes so i was just doing this talk here earlier and i shared with them experience and i'm fortunate enough to have my own you know private jet now but it's a intercontinental jet so i can fly straight to china it's bigger than a gulf stream it's a global express so it's like having your own bed in the sky offices guys it's just an amazing place filmed in there last time oh that's right i forgot about this interview yeah so it's fun so you got the sense of this is so great but up until that time i was chartering yeah but half of my business was overseas and it's like you know 400 000 to fly to australia and back on a gulf stream so it didn't make any sense i finally did well office sold a couple companies made a couple hundred million dollars and i went and bought the plane but before that i would be so stressed getting on qantas airlines to fly towards there's no internet i've cut off for 14 hours i got 31 companies i mean i got this list of calls and texts and slacks and emails and by the time i get there it's going to triple in size you're going to lose money i'd be all stressed out right and then one day i asked myself what the f is stressful about sitting or lying when you go to bed you know even on a commercial flight like that in first class and i realized what an idiot i was but it still grabbed me you'd still suffer and i remember one of the last times it happened before i got my plane ironically uh they announced on the air they said uh uh ladies and gentlemen we're proud to announce we have international internet and it was like god descending the airplane we're all cheering clapping it's so wonderful right and and then within about nine minutes the thing broke down oh yeah yeah everyone's out there everybody's pissed they're like oh this is i can't believe this i'm not putting up with this and i tell a story because nine minutes before it was a miracle now after nine minutes it's already an expectation and when you have expectations you're always miserable i realized my happiness was so cheap because all i had to do was have this nearby and i could lose my happiness because 31 companies 1200 employees you know five continents i think you have five continents now seven different what are the chances that right now someone is screwing up something with that many employees and that many businesses 100 chance yeah so all you have to do is wait and open up and find a piece there it's like i can't believe what the hell is the matter with them see i realized all i had to do was have my phone to be stressed if that's true my happiness is so cheap because what are the chances of everybody doing exactly what you think they should do the right way every day zero zero what are the chances of people you love doing what you want them to do the way you want to do them every day zero with the chances of you doing the right thing every day even if you're talented and disciplined zero so your happiness will never last as long as it's got expectation behind it don't get me wrong i have businesses i run them we manage them but i know that people are going to screw up or my idea script is different than i think they should be and sometimes their script will turn into something even better right i got to give it room so what i did was i began to realize i made the decision it's the most important decision i believe of your life that i'm not going to suffer anymore life's too short to suffer and i'm going to live in a beautiful state every day and the way i do it is i catch myself and i start to get that sense of stress i let it go and i see the eye to go by so your thoughts thoughts about this person messing up your business you're not following through if i was in a room with ten thousand people i guarantee you sixty seventy percent of business owners have the same thoughts at times right i ask people all the time tell me your most stressful thought oh i'm worried about my children this may happen how many people have had that thought everybody i might not make it financially how many times about everybody my point is it's not your thought it's the mind not your mind when you think it's your mind you identify with it and it's you can't separate from yourself but when you realize these thoughts been around for millions of years and i'm just thinking the same thought that so many people thought before like how many people have ever thought i'm going to kill the son of a now you didn't do it because you didn't believe you're really going to kill them but you felt it you said it you were there right so we all have thoughts it's only the stressful thoughts we believe that mess us up so what i try to show people is if you can start to realize these thoughts have been around for millions of years if i told you a millionaire you know 100 years ago that we're going to go to the moon and back you called me a lunatic or crazy if i said 100 years ago you're gonna have a little box like this it'll fit in your pocket and you can click on it and you can see what the weather is any place you could click on it and see a live person on the other side of the earth and talk to them by looking this box and the way it works is invisible waves are traveling around the earth and it pulls invisible waves in the box you go like read between the lines there's no way dumb idiot it's never going to happen so what i want you to realize those thoughts are invisible ways when you turn on tv it takes invisible waves and depending on the channel you're going to see a love story or an adventure or a drama or a comedy or or horror the way you use your body determines which of those thought waves come through you one moment you're pissed off the next moment somebody makes you laugh you change your body you change the channel you change what comes through you so what i've tried to do in this very beautiful state is simple yeah first identify where you're suffering what's your favorite flavor are you a warrior are you a pissed off person angry what is it you do yeah second of all decide you're gonna kill that monster while it's little you're not gonna wait till it's godzilla taking the city you're gonna break the pattern you start to feel the stress you see it as thoughts going by and then you focus on something to appreciate enjoy or love appreciation love and joy destroy suffering you can't be grateful and angry simultaneously as possible you can't be worried and fearful and grateful simultaneously so i tell people gratitude is one of the emotions to cultivate that'll destroy the suffering and that's what we teach people to do david haywood said do you really believe deep down that you've made the choice to live the life you're living or did it choose you and how do you rationalize choice when there is so much we don't get to choose well that's a good question um i have chosen very consciously what i want for my life and i continue to choose i really believe that our creator has given us choice and those that you know look at their life and say it's not the way they want and blame god are barking up the wrong tree you know the resources are inside of us um that's number one but i'd say number two this idea that you know rationalizing choice i don't rationalize choice i i know it's one of the great gifts in my life and i can make it any moment so can you the one power we have is the decision to change anything you don't like your your relationship change it change you first or change it you don't like your body change it you don't like your finances to any one of us can change if you live in a world that's filled with answers you've got a web where you can learn from anybody on the planet now you have access to them you know so i i don't see it as like rationalizing choice i think that mindset reveals limitations in the person asking the question i'm not being derogatory to that person i'm grateful for the question but i want you to know if you're listening that you know if i asked all those watching we all have patterns and i'm a student of patterns the way i can make changes in minutes for people that were stuck for years or athletes i've turned around and developed a great amount of fame around and you know the the quincy jones of the world the you know the pit bulls the serena williams the things i've done with all these people they rave about are because i know that whatever you focus on you're going to feel so i'll just give you one example for the person asked this question and for anybody listening yeah there's i'll give you three patterns real fast so you can check yourself out for a moment so one pattern is of focus do you tend to focus more on what you have or what's missing i'm asking your listeners right now and you what do you tend to focus on what you have or what's missing what i have what do you have great when i ask this in a room usually about 70 are focused on what's missing most achievers are focused on what's missing so they can go out and achieve more right yeah nothing wrong with that but when you stack these patterns together it's really hard to be happy when you're constantly focused on what's missing there's a time notes missing so you go to work but if you do it all the time yeah you can be achieving a ton like some of these billionaires and they're still voting saying what's missing and so they're not happy another pattern would be do you tend to focus on what you can control or what you can't control for me can yeah and i i know that's true with you yeah the majority of people is what they can't control now if you focus on what's missing all the time and what you can't control you're going to be depressed i don't care if you take prozac or zoloft or anything else your depression is not a zoloft deficiency it is the fact that you are doing something in your mind that is producing that depression and if you constantly focus on what's missing and what you can't control and look at a third one you tend to focus more on things in the past the present or the future i know you do all three we all do all three but which one for you would you say you spend more of your time on past present or future well my old self would say the past and the future now after going to one world academy i'm very present and present and future yeah well there's no right or wrong that the past you can't do anything about it so the more you focus there unless you're learning something from it yeah it's pretty much a waste the present is where the joy is the future is how you do business right so you anticipate so it's the ability to do this but if you have someone whose pattern is focusing what's missing focus on what i can't control focus on the past you can give them i've seen it i've dealt with people like that who are suicidal i come in they got every drug they're taking every antidepressant and they're still depressed in fact i'll ask an audience is all the time how many of you know somebody who takes into person still depressed ninety percent of them will raise their hand you know people i'm sure people at home do well why are they still depressed that they're taking any depression because all the depression does is numb you but they're still focusing what's missing they're still focused on what they can't control they're still focused on past or present that's not the way they wanted to be or making up a future that's scary well you're going to be depressed no matter what unless you take control of those factors so the answer to this question is you really i don't see it as a rationale i see it as a gift choice is a gift it's always there you can choose what you focus on and what you focus on is what you're going to experience you can focus on things that make you suffer you can focus on things that make you grateful and of the two gratitude is the better approach it's not some mandy family positive thinking approach it's intelligent because when you're in a good state you can solve the problem 10 times better i used to convince myself that if i'm suffering if i'm pissed i'm 10 times smarter my brain goes faster and it does you know i also found i'm 10 i'm smarter when i'm not stressed and i also enjoy my life your body doesn't hurt your mind and everybody else you're able to reach them if you're looking for more ways to improve your life then make sure to check out this powerful video with jordan peterson if you discipline someone properly they become disciplined right they that means they're competent they're organized they have structure they can control themselves so i'll give you an example

Channel: Lewis Howes

Views: 673,047

Rating: 4.8951273 out of 5

Keywords: Lewis Howes, Lewis Howes interview, school of greatness, self help, self improvement, self development, personal development, success habits, success, wealth, motivation, inspiration, inspirational video, motivational video, success principles, millionaire success habits, how to become successful, success motivation, tony robbins, tony robbins interview, tony robbins motivation, tony robbins relationships, tony robbins money, tony robbins speech, destroy negative thoughts

Id: c-ylElsiKQQ

Length: 145min 46sec (8746 seconds)

Published: Sun May 09 2021