To Tell the Truth - Henny Youngman; Head of U.S. Secret Service (Apr 9, 1957)

[Music] [Applause] what is your name please my name is u e Balman what is your name please my name is UI bman what is your name please my name is UI bman two of these people are imposters only one of them is the real you e Balman and is the only one sworn to tell the truth and here is our host Bud [Applause] ker thank you and good evening we're here again with our game of deliberate misrepresentation in which four presumably smart people try to figure out which one of three Challengers has sworn to tell the truth tell the truth is brought to you as you know by geratol America's number one tonic the high potency tonic that helps you feel stronger fast and now let's meet our cross-examiners what is your name please my name is Polly Bergen my name is Ralph damy my name is Kitty Caril and my name is high [Applause] Gardner now these three people all claim to be be UE e Bowman of course only one is the real UE Bowman the other two have simply assumed that identity and they do not have to stick to the truth now panel in front of you there is a copy of an affidavit will you please listen and follow along as I read it to you I UE e Balman live in Arlington Virginia I have spent 30 years of my life in the employ of the federal government I started in December of 1927 as a clerk stenographer I am now chief of the United States Secret Service I swear that the above statement is the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth signed UE e Bowman now on with our game three people as you know all claimed to be UE e Bowman chief of the United States Secret Service now remember only the real UE Bowman is required to answer your questions truthfully you will each question until you hear this signal and at the end of the questioning period you'll be asked to register your V for the one person who in your opinion is the real UE e Balman and we will begin this first round tonight with um Ralph Bell well well since the real Mr Balman has to tell the truth let's start with an embarrassing one number one how old are you 52 52 number two how old are you 51 51 number three how old are you 49 49 uh right number one at what age did you start to work for the government 27 27 number two how old 22 22 number three how old 20 20 I have to figure this out now 21 while you're figuring Ralph I'll have to move along kitty carile kitty you lost me in the mathematics but I'd like to know from number two what are the difference in the duties between the FBI and the Secret Service the Secret Service protects the President of the United States and also investigates counterfeiting violations the FBI has a number of Duties Interstate violations kidnapping laws and so forth number three uh you deal in smuggling and that sort of thing don't you no ma'am oh you don't I mean the Secret Service so to protect people from being smuggled no ma'am no well U Don't hi number one is a member of The Secret service can you tell me who is Frank M Barry he's one of our agents who is on leave now in another country establishing a Secret Service uh number two is the US Secret Service permitted to tap wires no sir uh number three uh I'd like to ask this question could I be a secret service agent Mr Gardner I don't think any columnist would make a good secret service agent [Applause] I didn't mean what I wrote I meant my height I'm afraid you're a little too short pober number two if if uh I made a counterfeit bill and I had it on me uh could you arrest me right now well if you made it I wouldn't arrest you right now but I would right after the show he's a he's a right guy yeah uh number three is there um is there anything uh as far as counterfeit bills that makes it more difficult to make them than anything else the one thing that that's difficult to to copy in a counterfeit bill I yes you want to know what it is yes sir please generally it's the engraving the picture the toning shading I see is number three is there anything difficult about the paper is the paper paper changed from time to time no it's been constant for years the same paper Ralph uh number two when was the Secret Service instituted at B whom in um 1865 and that's about it I'm afraid panel it's time already to vote so without consultation will you mark your ballot and vote for number one number two or number three May I remind you that the team of Challengers will get $250 for every incorrect vote which means of course with the little mathematics that if they fool the entire panel they may divide as much as $11,000 all right panel have you marked your ballots yeah no answers I'm getting thank you poly for whom did you vote and don't glare at me like that I voted for number two you have a reason no good Ralph your vote was for number one he's the only one who answered my mathematical question correctly which I finally figured out 27 and he worked for 30 years this is 1957 you finally caught up with it h uh Kitty your vote was for number one and uh why Kitty he just looked like the most secret of all three secret servicemen hi I voted for number one too for this reason two reasons first of all I noticed he was wearing a double breasted suit which means it's easy to conceal a cold 38 and secondly uh he knew that Frank uh who Frank Barry was Frank Barry used to be the chief uh Secret Service God for the Truman and Rosevelt Administration all right sir there we have now our votes and our reasons showing that our minds are made up let's see whether yours have made up successfully and whether you beat match or go beyond the panel let's see what happens now because we're going to find out which one of these gentlemen uh is the real UE e Borman well the real UE e Borman please stand [Applause] [Music] up it doesn't matter I was right I the only one wrong all right there we are thank you very much sir now let's find out about the other two gentlemen number one would you tell us who you really are and what you do I am George D Johnson general manager of the Sheran macalin Hotel here in New York City and number three how about you sir I'm WF mlin manager for beneficial finance company come on down and didn't hear the end of that when he said he was manager of finance company he says come on down and see me yes I I'd like to know how Mr Johnson new Mr uh Barry I was in Washington in the hotel business at the Sheron Park in Colton for the last 25 years uhhuh see there there's an only columnist that can find these things I like to check that mathematical thing again didn't you say you were 22 when you started well you worry with him after the show Ral we haven't got too much time now have to tell everyone there were exactly three incorrect votes for a total of $750 from geror congratulations gentlemen I hope you had fun we did good night good luck and now let's have our next team of [Music] challenges what is your name please my name is Joey Adam what is your name please my name is Henny Youngman what is your name please my name is Phil fer our panel and audience what you have just heard is quite correct you all know these three famous comedians under the names that they have just given you but before entering Show Business one of these gentlemen was known as Michael Feldman will you please listen while I read this affidavit I Michael Feldman have spent many years in show business as a humorist and comic previously however I have worked as a carnival pitchman and I still hold a paid-up union card as a reminder of the days when I was a house painter during the War I was aboard a ship which was sunk in the English Channel as you may have noticed I survived and am now part owner of a golf course I swear that the above statement is the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth signed Michael Feldman now in just about 60 seconds our panel will start start asking on with our show and uh these three people as you know now all claim to have been originally the former Michael Feldman remember only the real former Michael Feldman is required to answer your questions truthfully and I think since you all and we all know these gentlemen well here let's dispense with the numbers this time panel and call them all by the names by which we all know them so well and we start with poly BG Polly um Phil why did you pick the name Foster I lived on Foster Avenue in Brooklyn enough reason Kenny why did you pick the name Youngman I saw a sign once with May West Go Go West Young man I figured it would last you know I'm again to feel like a straight man number three Joey why did you pick the name Adams well I couldn't pick Eve you know I have a feeling I should just quit now while I'm ahead from the first game while you're ahead uh Henny uh you say your name was Feldman before I didn't say that you didn't say that Ral FY uh Joey um Ralph give up don't go on it's all over what's the uh distinguishing characteristic of outside paint well I don't know I I was a kid in I don't know that's enough all right any what is it well I did quite a bit of painting I painted a whole ceiling once I played a whole painting once in a study in calamine that's white that's as direct an answer as I ever got to anything Phil what's the distinguishing feature in outside paint well I don't know as a member start with I don't know well while they're out of knowing I knew the answer to that ain't you use outside kitty Kenny under what circumstances was your ship sunk in the English Channel well I told some jokes one show and Captain let me we haven't got a Dan here Phil have you any recollection of your steel as a carnival pitchman could you do any of it now uh don't get him started don't get him started I some of it I can remember let's hear it well I'm afraid we haven't got time for a long spiel Kitty Let's uh I'd like just to hear a first sentence all right first sentence all right will step up ladies and gentlemen here it is you'll never go find yeah you're all right you're absolutely right I'm very professional um Joey how did you get to be from a pitchman to a house painter well I laid an egg in a couple of towns and I took everything that was available hi Gardener well first I'd like to say I'm awfully happy to be here at grossing is don't look now your bill just came you're not happy uh what I'd like to ask Henny uh who are your partners in this golf course you're supposed to own well uh I have so many comedians for all wealthy you know I see Joey uh how come since you decided you were going to write books you didn't change your name from Feldman to Hemingway instead of Adams well I changed it to Adams the one fell met me his name was Adams too after I changed it from Feldman he said uh are we related in anyway I said I don't know what was your name before I like that's about it with all the straight men we have on the panel tonight not by choice but by Z stand it's time to vote no consultation again would you please mark your ballots and select number one number two or number three you one okay panel have you marked your ballots yeah all right Holly for whom did you vote number one all right Ralph how about you number two kitty your vote number three no number two oh I meant number three oh I put WR you to vote for number number three I'm sorry number three number all right number three all right and hi number three number three he's the only one with a 10 all right now we'll have to get a recap on that cuz I don't know whether the the lights have gone up in the right places but there you are now the die is cast and our minds are made up and let's see where the yours are too we're going to see now which one of these three eminent comedians is the real former Michael Felman will the real former Michael Feldman please stand [Applause] up all right one was an outdoor look no he's always been that dark we have a peculiar way of going about this since we didn't use numbers in this quiz tonight Joey Adams will you tell us who you really are well my name is Joey Adams but my real name is Perry Como I just wrote a new book called Cindy and I written by Joey Adams about of course Zelda and Sam so it's on your news stand or in your bookstores starting April 17th get a copy of Cindy and I I think you have a lot of fun with [Applause] it Youngman who are you my real name is Perry Como and I've just written a book called it's available at your bookstores uh wherever he said and uh incidentally I've been asked to uh mention that I'm appearing in Kansas City at the hotel muleback starting Friday please be there we need the [Applause] money okay gentlemen uh let's see now there were two incorrect votes worth $250 each which means a total of $500 from J I'll take it you take it in cash or in Jed in any event thank you very much for being with us tonight it's been a lot of fun for us hope you enjoyed it just half as much thank you good night good night now let's have our third team of challenges please what is your name please my name is dinina zini what is your name please my name is Dina jaini what is your name please my name is Dina zini now panel will you listen while I read this affidavit I Dina Zaki am a human Cannonball when not being shot from a cannon I spend my time at home with my husband and three children I was born in Alexandria Egypt to a circus family and started my show business career as a trapeze artist my sister and I are the only two people in the world to be shot out of one Cannon simultaneously I swear that the above statement is the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth signed dwia Zaki and we'll start our cross-examination in just all right now panel these three people all claim to be dwia Zaki the human Cannonball again question until you hear the signal we'll start this round with the kitty Carline Kitty um number two you uh say that you're shot out of the cannon with your sister simultaneously do you how do you how do you stack yourself in the cannon do you come out one on top of the other or back this way back to back or sideways how do you how do you do that we get in by the feet get by the top of the barel and then we lie one on top of the other and we are shot simultaneously I see now number one can you tell me what kind of power is used to shoot a human being out of a cannon really is a cannon to compress the hair but uh there's a very little powder only for the effect ah but it's sorry Kitty hi Gardner number three what was the name of the first man ever to be shot out of a cannon in the circus do you remember I sincerely don't remember uh what is the name of the Ringling bonum CL clown who makes props that probably made the cannon that you're shot out of do you know uh I don't remember the name of the clown but my father is originator of the act and he bails the cannon I say number two is it true or false that all the elephants in the circus are female what did you say is it true that all the elephants in the circus are female all the elephants in our circus all the elephants in the circus are female is that true I don't know can you answer that question number one really I don't know how about you number three poly Berg um number one how long have you been in this country 2 years 2 years how did you learn how to speak English uh really no well why really no well really not well oh not well uh number two um do you ever suffer from headaches oh yes I did I just wondered it seems like it might be sort of a hard way to make a living uh almost as hard as trying to figure out which one of these three is the uh number three uh was your family Egyptian or were they just traveling in Egypt at the time when you were born they just had a circus at the time I see Ralph uh number one you say uh when you're not being shot out of a cannon you spend a lot of time with your husband I hope you do spend a lot of time with him um are you're with wringling brother circus I imagine B me are you with Ringling brother circus no no are you with a circus now right now no but I will be after two two weeks number two are you with wringling Brothers no number three are you with wringling Brothers oh you have kitty number one how young were you when you started working in the circus in the circus oh really I was a child because is a tradition you know my parents were in the circus so I was in the circus since I was a little child Oh you mean p me when I start to work I was around 17 number two if you had your choice would you prefer another means of livelihood would I prefer one would you prefer to make a living some other way being shot out of a cannon you love it I love the cannon and the trapes cuz I'm a trapes artist that's it time again to vote panel so will you please get pencil ready and Mark your ballots marking for number one number two or number three ballots all marked panel Holly for whom did you mark your ballot Holly I voted for number three just under of the wire why well because I think it's number two but number three no really this makes a lot of sense honestly number three looks least likely so I voted for her yeah sure sure poly uh Ralph I voted for number three oh I I thought number three had uh more information was a little more glue with it Kitty I voted for number one and what was your reason for that I had a feeling of the compressed air sounded terribly legitimate it usually does hi Garder well I voted for number three I mean she looked like one of the few blondes that showed uh she could be shot out of the cannon without showing powder marks well there we have it now don't forget there are some members of our studio audience here voting along and vying with the panel hope you are at home too so don't change your opinion now as we find out which one of these ladies is the real human Cannonball so will the real dinina Zaki please stand up [Applause] thank you very much well you did well on that one panel extremely well let's find out about the other two now number one would you tell us who you really are my name my name is G Anita I'm sculpt and right now I am working for a page par adverti our page per number two about you my name is Bianca deis and I work for a new Italian House of Fashion in daa here in New York City well there you have it and as you can see there were three right and only one wrong this time so that means $250 from gerol to be divided thank you very much ladies for being with us you've given us a good time good night good luck and I guess that's all we have time for tonight so all I can say now is good night panel good night remember what I told you about jol the high potency tonic that helps you feel stronger fast right now this is Bud ker saying good night and reminding you to tell the truth good night everybody travel arrangements for to tell the truth are made to American Airlines American Airlines our contestant and luxurious comfort of our dc7 Flagship who tell the truth is the mark Goodson Bill toddman production in association of the CBS television [Applause] network

Channel: To Tell the Truth (CBS)

Views: 63,816

Keywords: To Tell The Truth (1956) (TV Program), Bud Collyer (TV Actor), Kitty Carlisle Hart (Film Actor), Game Show (TV Genre), Episodes (TV Program), Polly Bergen (Theater Actor), Ralph Bellamy (Film Actor), Hy Gardner, United States Secret Service (Government Agency), Joey Adams, Henny Youngman (TV Actor), Phil Foster

Id: 5Ek41o3aahk

Length: 24min 48sec (1488 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 18 2015