To Anyone Trying To Find Love

why is it when we try to find someone to love we find ourselves looking for someone else when we've had ourselves all along I think it is because we started looking all from the wrong place let me explain this is for anyone searching for love whether it is from a heartbreak or after a hard time being single for a long time or someone who has never been in a relationship before oftentimes we feel that we're not good enough or that we don't want to get hurt again or that we are too good for anyone to make us feel something and all of those reasons are valid I think the movies and social media nowadays have given us this false sense of hope and reality of what relationships are actually like that it looks a lot easier than it actually is or it is talked about in such bad taste of that it's something that we never want to experience for ourselves ever when someone faces a breakup online they share a video about how much hurt and pain and suffering that they went through and how awful that person was and after watching that why would we ever want to put ourselves in that position we wouldn't now let me be clear in the present time that I'm filming this video I am in a very happy relationship and I'm actually filming this video on Valentine's Day so I'm not on this single side but I did my fair share before this relationship I know that doesn't mean that I went on a million dates don't go that way but it does mean that I took time to figure out who I was what I love doing and who I loved being around that way when someone special enters my life I won't be stuck not knowing the answers to any other questions because I knew who I was and I knew what I loved so answer me this let's play a little game why are you single one do you think you're not good enough two do you think it's a waste of time three is it because the gender that you like or prefer is trash and four is because finding someone isn't truly what you want when we are searching for someone to love I find that the right person will never come along and having a constant search party and scrolling through a hundred people on a dating app might not be the best way to find them with that being said love works so vastly different for each and every single one of us so I'm just speaking for for my personal experience so then how do we find love if we're not searching for it when I was searching for someone to love I was craving love and affection and I would accept it from anyone who walked in that door but nothing stuck nothing stayed nor did I want anyone to stay and that was because I was searching for the wrong reasons when we're not completely content with ourselves when someone else walks into that door we adapt to be them we stop being who we are we stop liking what we like doing what we love and we morph into them we morph into this relationship and we morph into the same person which ultimately leads the relationship in ending because we no longer are the person that they fell in love with and vice versa now people change and that's okay that's inevitable now let's get personal and a little uncomfortable okay this is might be a little weird should I say this being in a relationship um I don't think being single is a bad thing all of my friends that are single joke about being so lonely but plot twists you can be just as lonely in a relationship if it's with the wrong person and to me that's terrifying that's more terrifying than being being lonely while alone when I was single after my first really tough breakup I took a lot of time to be alone I took a lot of time to be myself I dated I isolated myself and I really focused on doing things that I enjoy for example I really didn't like that I didn't know what food made me feel good you know when you eat anything and some days you feel great some days you don't some days your stomach's upset some days it's not I found I was focusing so much on finding someone that I didn't really even listen to my body I didn't listen to what I like doing and that's only such a small aspect of my life there's other things like sports music interests but the main thing I focus on was food I didn't know what I liked but the one thing that I figured out is that I value friendship more than I value love because when it comes to a relationship with a friend you get nothing out of it and that's the hardest to find so I knew that if I was to date again I knew that it would have to be someone that I could become best friends with someone that fit with my values and my way of life and I know that some people think that's shallow but it's my life it's your life you're allowed to like what you like I'm allowed to like what I like I don't think loving what you love is shallow like don't love someone just because the internet says you need to love everyone because we don't need to love everyone in this world we need to be kind we need to be compassionate but when we're talking about the relationship of love this little combination of two people really the one thing you got to focus on there is that you need to love yourself because it's going to save a whole world to heart and I promise a lot of people will come along when you have the love for yourself because the right people will gravitate towards you so if you're single don't rush promise you're in the right spot stay you stay beautiful and I'll see you guys next time

Channel: Joey Kidney

Views: 226,062

Keywords: love advice, finding love, how to find love, being single, self improvement, relationship tips, dating advice, joey kidney

Id: N23aTp9oqMM

Length: 4min 31sec (271 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 18 2023