13 Harsh Truths About Men I'd Share If You Were My Daughter

a lot of my videos especially the ones with a lot of views have comments where someone says Where Were You 20 years ago when I was younger I wish I knew all of these things about men and especially bad men back then already I would have avoided so many mistakes in my love life all those frogs that never turned into my Prince Po princes I turned back into a frog yeah that's to be avoided as well of course so let's talk about 13 crucial secrets about men that I would tell my daughter as soon as she was really in interested in a guy for the very first time but since I do not have a daughter and my sister also only has boys I will just tell the internet and so you my name is H I'm an author I also use the pen name Brian Knox I write books about dating and relationships and other topics and the first thing I really want to tell my imaginary daughter is you are amazing and not just because you are my imaginary daughter but because you truly are amazing never give attention to men that cannot see that you are unique and there's nobody out there like you to the right man for you you will be very valuable so never settle for a guy who is not him and if there is a man you like never spend your time on trying to prove to him how amazing you are the right man will see it no proving needed Instead try to spend your time on treating yourself like the amazing person that you are nothing will have a better return on investment than spending time valuing yourself and working on yourself if you treat yourself with respect other people will respect you a lot more in return always remember self-respect attracts respectful Partners it's like a beacon like a light from a lighthouse good men can see that you have healthy standards and they are drawn to you because of them number two women that do not try hard women that don't chase after a man for example will always have more success with men than women who do try hard and they will feel a lot happy and more secure when they are dating or are in a relationship with someone trying hard gives you diminishing results the harder you try in your love life the less results you will get it lowers your value and not just in his eyes but more importantly in your own it will feel like as if you are losing yourself and that's because you are if you have to try hard to make a man feel anything or do something like show his love or be respectful he's simply not the right guy for you now the emphasis is on the word hard both of you will have to put in an effort of course but you cannot and should not be the only one who's pulling the relationship forward because then there is no relationship number three know when to believe him and when not to believe him and the difference dear imaginary daughter will save you from a lot of Heartache it will save you so much time when a man says something negative like I think you deserve better than me I'm not ready for a relationship I see you as just a friend I'm not looking for something serious I still think about my ex a lot always immediately believe him even if his actions seem to prove otherwise a good and emotionally mature guy will never ever risk losing you by playing games so if you hear any of these he's either a game playing bad guy that wants to manipulate you or he's an honest guy and he means what he said you deserve better than both of these types if he says good things like I can imagine us staying together forever I'm falling for you you are my type I love you do not immediately believe him ask yourself do his actions match his words are the things he's doing what a man who loves me would do if yes you possibly found a great guy if not do not believe him he's still on probation but it's not looking good number four he will indeed never ever risk losing you a good man will always protect what he has with you and he will make mistakes but a good man will never deliberately do things where he knows he risks you leaving him because of his own actions if you show a boundary to a good guy you will not have to repeat it 20 times you will not have to get mad for him to respect that boundary that said not everything can be a boundary pick them wisely if he feels like he has to walk on exells all the time because there are boundaries and high EX expectations everywhere and the bar is raised way too high he will eventually leave because he also has to make sure he doesn't lose himself of course number five nobody is too busy to reply within 24 hours after reading a text message from you if he reads your text message and then takes longer than even 8 hours to reply he either trying to think of something really great to say so you would think he's amazing which can only happen in the first weeks of the both of you dating and then you will see and feel the effort he put into his reply it will be long and it will be clearly meant to impress you because the other much more probable option is He's Just Not That Into You or he's playing games which you will also see because then his replies will be rather short and will give you as much Clarity on his feelings for you as a flashlight with dead batteries so not a lot number six call me oldfashioned but if he doesn't insist to pay during the first date he asked you out for for it's not looking good now insist and first date he asked you out for are all important words here men want to provide for and protect the woman they like which does not mean they want to pay for everything nor should they but the first date the very first bill or check that arrives during the first date you know that very special moment where he can show that he had fun and that he likes you and that he would love to see you again and what a hero he is by picking up that check so he can impress you just like a knight that just conquered an army of savages to be there with you if his phone or payment card isn't ready to pay that check before you can blink twice it's not looking good I am not saying he should pay for the first date but whether he does or doesn't offer to pay that's an important sign and if you offer to pay or split the bill which is always a nice gesture and which will be appreciated so when you do that an interested guy will still insist that he's going to pay pay for it and again I'm only talking about the first date here he's not an ATM machine that should keep paying for everything going forward but the first date that's special there will only ever be one first date in your potential relationship with him number seven you cannot change him you can only decide how you respond he's never a project do not fall in love with what he could One Day become fall in love with who he is right now or do not fall in love at all and be gone before it happens most men do not change and those who do will only change because they want to not because you tell them to so if he does something or is something that you do not like you cannot change him but you do decide how you respond and a great way to respond is with your attention don't give any of it to men that do not treat you like you deserve to be treated never give attention to a man just because you like him or because you think he's attractive or because you feel there is a lot of chemistry give attention to him because he treats you well and you happen to like him number eight talking about chemistry chemistry is very overrated a lot of people base their choice of a partner about 90% on chemistry and women and men make this mistake and I've been one of them in my 20s but some women if they can pick between a good guy they do not feel a lot of chemistry for or a somewhat bad and unavailable guy they do feel a lot of chemistry for will pick the bad guy because he's exciting and some of those women have mistaken the emotional roller coaster he takes them on for chemistry now there should of course be attraction But realize that having the same values and being able to communicate well are so much more important than chemistry a relationship is not a combination of onee stands that are hot and steamy it's a deep friendship with someone that you love to kiss and sleep with as well number nine do not play it cool playing it cool does not make him more attracted to you and does not prevent him from losing interest we sometimes play it cool to avoid rejection or to not scare someone Away by showing them that we really like them or by asking for what we want in a relationship but do you really want to be with a guy who's only sticking around because you are playing it cool because you're not forcing him to show his real cards and intentions open communication always starts on day one and that includes telling him what you want and like and then it's up to him to decide if he can give that to you or not and to be honest about that there is no need to go overboard but ask for what you want that's a great way to filter the men that are really into you and those that are waiting for someone else to come along the right men want to climb mountains to be with you so find out who these men are number 10 you deserve a man that brings out the best in you so if you are dating a guy or are in a relationship with a guy and you feel that you can be your best self because he is in your life then you possibly found a great guy if however you feel that you are kind of slipping away that you are getting mad and upset all the time because of the things he is doing or is not doing if he brings out the worst in you he's not the guy for you he could be a great guy but he's the wrong guy for you number 11 when a previously interested guy pulls away or acts disinterested all of a sudden and he giving you a lot of mixed signals and you let him go because you do not have time for these types of childish behaviors and then after a while he's suddenly back and gives you a lot of attention and seems really into you it does not mean he likes you it just means he didn't find anyone else if you take this guy back the same thing will happen all over again and you deserve better than that number 12 always address red flags never ignore them if you see a red flag point it out and then listen to his defense and then you beat the judge if you are for example example looking for a relationship not a fling or a situationship and you meet a guy that does not want to call you his girlfriend or that does not want to talk about where this is going have the conversation and if you feel that he's not honest or that he is sugarcoating things lower your interest in him and start to move on also even aside from the big red flags when you start dating a man it's never your job to make him fall for you or to make him attracted to you or to make him love you it's not your primary job to make it go anywhere your biggest job is to make sure it can go somewhere meaning if you see incompatibilities that you know will make you miserable down the road for example you deeply love and need a lot of physical affection but he likes it about as much as a cat loves a cold bubble bath then it's not looking good that's why it's so crucial to always communicate what is important to you number 13 you get his best behavior in the beginning of the relationship in the first couple of weeks and months after meeting him that's when he's trying to show the best version of himself to you now this has a couple of consequences first if it's already bad then run and get out of there it will not get better second this also means it takes time to really get to know him since the first couple of days and weeks are possibly not a representation of who he really is in a long-term relationship so dear imaginary daughter take take your time before you really approve a man and go slow but be quick to leave him when he shows he's a bad guy for you I will wrap it up here if you appreciated this format and would like me to create a series of videos for my imaginary daughter let me know in the comments in the meantime you can come on over to Brian knock.com for the deeper stuff or go to Amazon to read or listen to my books just search for my pen name Brian KNX I want to thank you for sticking around until the very end of this video I always love it when you do that and I hope this see you in another video

Channel: Brian Nox

Views: 664,724

Keywords: dating advice for women, love advice, make him like you, tips for women, how to attract men, flirting tips, make him like me, make him love you, make him love me, how to talk to men, dating advice, how to flirt, relationship advice for women, Brian Nox, brian knox

Id: _PL9XOnTYTM

Length: 12min 31sec (751 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 23 2024