Time Crashers Take Part In A Medieval Jousting Tournament | Time Crashers | Absolute History

ten famous faces are going on an epic journey it's 2015 but not for long they're traveling into the past this is a historical circus with no idea where or when they're headed wow wake up in another place in another era oh my goodness exciting they've been told nothing in advance do you know i've got absolutely no idea what we're doing i mean i've never had a costume fitting blindfolded so it's all a total surprise oh wow they're leaving the 21st century behind to crash land into six different moments in british history where are we we're early early 1796. welcome to 1932 oh wow they'll be stripped of their celebrity status thrust into testing environments where's the food it's coming i don't shout pulling these things in it is really hard work and thrown to the bottom of the pile shut up and listen instead of arguing can they survive everything history has to throw at them oh this is bad ah calm down fern we'll sunk the boat please gotta be joking that's horrific they are the time crashers oh my goodness last time the time crashers began their journey at an elizabethan manor house where the hell we are the help working for the nobility where's the loud fellow loud fellow i just think he doesn't like me face while half were serving stuff in this incessant bowing and protocol the rest slaved in the this kitchen is scrimp [Music] that smells of urine after two days of grueling work that is the weirdest thing they delivered a grand elizabethan feast well done you did a superb job [Applause] wow this medieval fortress in derbyshire is about to relive its glory days oh look at that the time crashes are landing in the golden age of chivalry oh this is good yes like a night's tale we make known to you that a global just will be performed here today good morning jermaine we woke up in the pub jake we had a good night it wasn't yeah good morning gentlemen the 10 time crashers have no idea where it reminds me of [Music] kansas or when they are this is medieval isn't it some tented village waiting for a battle having started off in tudor times they've gone further back to the reign of elizabeth the first's great-grandfather the year is 1468. edward iv is on the throne and england is enjoying a brief respite from the bloody wars of the roses look like goblins in this time of peace a testosterone-fueled society found a way to recreate the drama of the battlefield turning war games into a sporting spectacle the joust this was a world dominated by violent young men taking edward he was a warrior he took the throne by the time he was 19 and he was undefeated in battle just like this were a way for his young knights to flex their military muscles and they provided entertainment the time crashes have been split into two groups [Music] and the reds we have another to help fit into life in the 15th century each group has a time crashes guide actor keith allen takes charge of the reds welcome to 1468. oh we've gone back even further then yep you are now orm squires we're squires okay in the retinue of sir henry red you will be responsible for readying your knight and these horses for a joust you are now in direct competition with the other times i'll tell you something i couldn't have whispered joining keith a weight lifter zoe smith hollywood actress kirstie alley socialite meg matthews and olympic gold medalist greg rutherford i'm a big medieval fan since i was a kid i used to read books about nights and jousting and everything else and for me to actually send me living now is a bit of a boy a dream in the black camp comedian chris ramsey weighs up the competition we're against them they're squires and they've got a knight and we're squires and we've got night working alongside chris are breakfast news anchor louise minchin tv presenter fern britton footballer jermaine genus and actor charlie condu we all know each other now so it'll be quite interesting that we're suddenly being set against each other and of course they've got two olympians on their team and we've got chris on out no it'll be fine medieval england was a man's world you are now all i just read we're all men squires came from good households entering services boys of around seven years old the squires could hope to one day become knights themselves all the women have become men kirsty is delighted i'm actually happy to be a man because my status would not be this high if i weren't a man squires were the most important part of a knight's support team known as the retinue good morning good morning morning good morning on your feet keeping them in check was the job of the marshall don't call me sir call me master step good morning ah a squier your task for today is to prepare him and his horses for a joust to take place later this afternoon now the thing about a joust is it's not just a competition or physical abilities this is judged on appearance that means the rider his armor the horse weaponry and the retinue and that is you lot if we win you will be rewarded if we lose you get nothing we'll win we are now going to meet your new master follow me thanks for having me want to say henry my lord if we please you i'd like to introduce you to your new retinue members thank you master adam helping me navigate life in late medieval england is social historian and archaeologist dr cassie newland the bedrock of the feudal system are the knights they are the enforcers they are the muscles sent in to sort out all the little political skirmishes or if someone's getting out of line you send your knights in these guys are the blunt end of the feudal system they are killing machines killing machine he may be but fern is happy to pledge her allegiance so john yes he's i mean i'm a roughy toughy squire but you know i could see that a maid might find him attractive he has a nice manner lovely hair [Music] louise yes master i assume you can read yes master right turn around face these people read out to them this indenture witnesses that sir john has agreed to take into his service louise who freely promises to obey his will in all things sir john will make provision for feeding clothing and accommodation and for burial in the event of death you understand yes master the employment contracts of their day chris yes master these indentures were cut down the middle get that off thank you creating two pieces which could be matched up to prove authenticity come with your purchase keepers i didn't read the contract i just signed it as i always do with contracts so can you quit can you go i've got enough it's till death we're done having signed his fair share of contracts footballer jermaine is taking his new job seriously i definitely want to win i don't want to lose i mean it's a laugh and it's all a bit of fun and stuff but at the same time like yeah i don't want to go on the losing side i like this so far a thousand times more than elizabethan where our lord and lady i felt were worthless twits as you can see here now the lord and lady in the elizabethan times seem to just be people who've swarmed about doing nothing whereas our lord here is actually going to go into a joust and actually risk himself in this time period i actually have status i have the ability to go up the ranks it's like a job in the 21st century you get a chance of promotion and if he wins we get rewarded okay guys we'll make sure he wins this is now definitely competition [Music] like a formula one pit crew the squire's work is at the heart of their night's success we tend to think of joust as purely physical events but the decision on who to declare the winner of a tournament like this one was dependent on far more than just the joust itself everything from the look of the night and his horse the conduct of his retinue how clean his armor was could contribute to which night won the day [Music] our only purpose is to serve the knight because everything is geared towards his just anything that we need to do we will do to make sure he wins the teams have just six hours to prepare for the joust well that's a shield the reds are already hard at work on one of the squire's key jobs preparing their knight's 12-foot wooden lance yellow blue stripes do you think guys yet who's the most artistic out of a pretty person guess you're going to take responsibility of the shield yep and keith allen is starting to feel competitive our strategy is to do the work that is required do it to the best of our ability that's what we do you're looking at a team of winners over here well the reds are already hard at work i'm a bit scared of the horses the blacks are still dividing up the jobs shall we do all my new to do horses louise and fern set to work on the night's precious steed we've divided up with them looking after the night and us looking after horses i think hopefully that should be about right here you go while jermaine gets to grips with his knights kit i ain't got a clue what any of the names were for any parts of the armor [Music] this is going straight on my head i'll tell you that much are we going to be better simple we're going to win these jousting horses were called destreers often weighing over 70 stone they were the most expensive piece of the night's equipment this horse is probably worth more than we are oh definitely this is sir john's mclaren f1 car [Music] come in good boy louise takes charge i have a bit of experience with horses um and horse riding i know there's quite a lot of work to be done but i've got a brilliant assistant fern quite struck by how dirty this horse is she's been rolling in it hasn't yet fern there's a little bit of mud around his hooves i'm not quite satisfied with that one fan well let me just finish this bit first mate do you know i really hope that the others have a grey horse as well or else we've got a lot of work to do that they won't have to do that's true if we'd have that black one yeah it would have taken us hard yeah that would come up gleaming wouldn't it yeah all right [Music] it's not good enough some of these bits on the haunches i was doing my best there i feel rather deflated now what are you sitting down i'm not feeling good just now so louis said to me phone this isn't good enough and i thought fern i don't want any you know upset you anything i cleaned out all the [ __ ] here all the [ __ ] outside all the [ __ ] off his body i can't believe you're language aren't you plating that's lovely i'll just dive into the [ __ ] around the back where i'm going yeah there's a bit to be honest there's a bit more down there it's 1468 and the time crashes are working as males squires they have just five hours left to ready rival nights for a joust this afternoon in the red camp kirsty is already hard at work on her night shield that's looking great kirsty thank you the shield is where the knights will aim their lances known as the taj from the french word for target it's sir henry's crest so i'm trying to make it look as much like it looks on the flag the taj carried the knight's coat of arms it advertised his success his prowess his brand in effect it was an essential part of his credibility i want to keep it fierce and ugly and not look like bambi [Music] i think we're working really well as a team we've all got our different skills [Music] and we're all kind of expressing ourselves harmoniously in the black camp oh the job of polishing their knight's armor pretty hard falls to comedian chris actor charlie and footballer jermaine wrong side you know it's not that crouching hold on no look a knight's armor was made up of body hugging sections of heat treated and hardened plate steel and that's the right arm there oh yeah cutting edge medieval technology it was specifically designed to protect against lance impacts i can't imagine it's particularly comfortable to wear this stuff i mean it's heavy and it's not padded you won't be able to move no i don't think that's the idea to understand i think maybe not the idea is to knock a bit of wood through your chest the violence and danger of the joust made knights the celebrities of their day if they survived it's almost kind of better to just remain a squire to an extent no because you want the glory of winning at this imagine if you were a footballer in the 21st century it's a bit like that you can imagine that you can imagine that yeah the kind of prestige that will be kind of money you'd get in fame just a minute in the black camp stables you're putting hay on everything i've just brushed well i just think you're not going to dry the ice then louise and fern are still at loggerheads you know what we've got works too and what do we i've just made no i know why not i'll do hooves again bottoms and hooves i beg your partner i've just done all that and i was gonna go around again i've got all the big [ __ ] off him you did tommy did his back legs when he kept lifting up all the other ones trying to get into i'm not saying you didn't do a bad job we just need to do a better one i think she thinks i'm dawdling and i think she's racing onto the next step without sorting out the first one first so but i am the novice so i appreciate that i'm probably in the wrong time is ticking on but there may be a more serious problem in the black camp now sir john has expressed a concern that he may not be well enough for the joust i'll do it do what i'll jost that's not the question son fair enough this is a jordan of sir john's urine are you glad he just put his hand up what i need you to do is to take it to the barber surgeon to ever get checked [Music] i know what this place is from the sign the sign of the barber surgeon it is interesting how these signs develop isn't it originally to show that he did bloodletting the barber surgeon would leave a bowl of blood outside the front then it became blooded bandages and and finally the much more discreet red and white twist of the barber's pole exactly in medieval times there were very few trained physicians but there were plenty of barbers skilled with sharp instruments so as well as cutting hair barber surgeons performed bloodletting could pull out teeth or even slice off a limb hello i've got a um about probably about half a pint of uh sir john's urine to be tested urine played a key role in medieval medicine firstly always check the color oh okay cool look a good color to you i think you're slightly dehydrated they believe there were 24 varieties of urine identified by look and smell yeah it smells lovely well this indicates that he's slightly excessive in yellow bile and blood it's a little too much however both of those make a good combative night it is a good thing for a fight so he's all right oh yes you're looking a little geeky though may i suggest a little bloodletting i'm probably all right for bloodletting actually in the red stables does that feel good actress kirsty is in her element i have eight horses and i've got experience brushing them cleaning them she may be a hollywood star but the life of a squire suits her down to the ground i have a horse named mikey that is black like this and friendly like this getting to dress hawthorne is the best thing i've done so far he's an amazing horse he's got a lot of hair loose which is good he's going to be shiny this is a great job this is an honorable job get to work with animals you're going to win aren't you buddy i love this period [Music] keith and greg have to carry out essential maintenance on their knight's armor morrow master armorer good day says we've been sent across to tell you that these um rivets need titans yes these articulations are very loose this will not do this will not do a full suit of armor was made of 80 individually crafted plates of metal held together by rivets this is the shoulder defense the pauldron it must allow full movement of the left arm too tight and the armor won't move too loose and sections could slip leaving the night dangerously exposed you have to strike a balance because this requires skill and patience which will set you to task over here are we doing it yes i'm busy oh that's it work steadily and check the leather just so it nips long jumper greg is determined to do the job well i've dreamt of owning armor of my own since i was a little boy so um i really like this i loved sport more than anything else but history was another subject that i put everything into as a child i was always fascinated by nights and people riding around horses and archers firing arrows and that sort of thing so when i was growing up i'd always be in the garden being sword fights my older brother and and just sort of really trying to live that period my inner geek is sort of going absolutely mental at the moment because the fact that i'm getting to handle armor is is really good repairs made thank you master armor the reds can finally begin the mammoth task of polishing it's got to be cooked by now maybe you're going to dry it out the time crashers have now been working for several hours on an empty stomach right stop what you're doing food is over there but it's mid-morning and everyone must stop for the main meal of the day [Music] we'll start dishing out plates and stuff attendance i'm going to just tie this bit up it's compulsory i just want to make sure that he's looking to wash your hands and have your food it wasn't a difficult instruction i hadn't taken on board the easing was part of my job like responsibility in catholic medieval england breaking fast could only happen after the monasteries had completed mass so the first meal of the day was at 11 a.m louisiana yes please like so many activities in the medieval world eating was an intimately communal affair people shared much more than we do nowadays didn't they cutlery goblets plates they even slept and bathed communally yeah and that's what you see in the archaeology people sharing long benches like this at meals you'd only really have an individual chair if you're someone really important like a king or a lord and that's why thrones are so important early in the next century sharing baths and other communal activities was to fall out of favor when syphilis swept through england in 1468 the squires may be sharing cutlery but it's still a pretty privileged life for our breakfast we're having beef salt bread and wine oh now wine if you could afford meat in the medieval world then a vegetable wouldn't have crossed your lips which is tough for a strict vegetarian like socialite meg the best bit is the coagulated blood so meg do you want some fruit thank you i'm going to get my team some food because they don't eat meat so it's only right knights and squires lived by a strict moral code helping a damsel in distress may seem gentlemanly and maybe some plums but taking food without asking could be punishable by death excuse me boys that stuff fill up with you no no no put it back on steel let me do what i like who are you who am i who are you i i work for well i'm a squire who's your boss where is he you bring him to me me bring him to me you can't get him yourself i'm not going [Music] i'm sure that well it's 1468 and two teams of rival time crashers are preparing to go head to head in a medieval joust but squire keith quit has been caught stealing fruit for vegetarian meg matthews and he's disrespected a superior just eat it quick don't let him see it [Music] keith lobster you are learning the art of chivalric gentlemanly behavior courtesy is one of those prime skills understood manners are essential of course so i'd seek him out and apologize yes i would do that while meg enjoys her ill-gotten fruit oh this gentleman has something to say to you keith has to grovel i've obviously forgotten my manners and the courtesy that i should extend to and for that i'm terribly sorry well that's very good we'll remove your hat in future service i hope that your conduct will be much improved on the field of chivalry later on it will undoubtedly very good dismissed thank you for the lesson you enter the whole sport on cheval rick terms so you've got to maintain that sense of chivalry so i was a bit out of order there knights and squires were actually expected to live by the code of chivalry it was a religious moral social system that required them to be honorable at all times although we think of being honorable and chevalry because doing things like being gallant to ladies but in those times it also meant hacking your enemies head off if you were ordered to they were the contract killers of their day the armor's all done so what do we need to do now in less than two hours the joust will begin [Music] we have a lot to do we're falling behind the shields aren't painted lances aren't painted the reds have raced ahead kirsty is already putting the finishing touches to their shield while the squires in the black camp have barely started theirs with the clock ticking charlie and chris must work out for themselves what to put on the shield charlie do you want to do the shield do you want me to yeah i think you've got the steadier hand mate [Music] what do you think i should do just do the circle we'll red hot there then do a circle circle you don't think he's gonna want the emblem on there chris which one this thing on here yeah you're right you're totally right no he's totally wrong that's the retinues livery badge the shield should be carrying the knight's coat of arms a winged heart let me get some paint i just raced my eyes off this small one in the red camp the shield is finished so kirsty can get to work in the stables the horse has to look as perfect as possible and the planning has to be as flat as possible i grew up in wichita kansas there's a lot of farm country around i can ride horses i've milked cows i've mucked stalls i know brother and i've always fancied myself someone who could live in time periods fairly easily the knight gets what the knight needs there we go during the joust the horse was like a walking billboard for the night's coat of arms you hold this bit darling hold this bit down but only if dressed correctly in the black camp fern and louise are finding it a struggle no no darling we no this is the front sweetheart but he's just honestly funny shush with the joust looming the pressure's on the bottom well i suggest that you find out between yourselves discuss it decide what to do figure it out and do it because we're running out of time we are discussing it vern set off to do a little light espionage in the red stable meg [Music] squire fern just poked us now while i was um polishing i've come to um oh that's an interesting thing can we borrow that afterwards maybe they are just checking to see how we go they might be under pressure i don't know [Music] for fern it's mission accomplished it's right shush got it this covers his tail up to here the smaller one it's around his neck and we'll find the way of doing it okay well done i knew that that was the best option for him well done i know the other team has tried to spy on us and get information but whatever we made the decision we're not paying any attention to what they're doing because we don't care one hour to go first are griefs for the reds time to dress their night in full body armor there you go leaving any part exposed oh dear could prove faking i guess this is where most wounds occur you know and it's probably a timely reminder to have the armor in tip-top condition because if it's not this is what happens in 1468 that feels like a knee plate armor could cost the equivalent of a hundred and fifty thousand pounds in today's money there's no hole there it's just a rivet oh okay fitting it was a three-man job [Music] obviously it has to be on very very tightly and then trying to move leather and metal isn't easy at all let's just get over there that man's life is in your hands basically wow if you mess up there's a chance that he could die who was squires i want you out here now yes messed up now yes yes matt follow me then the blacks are miles behind arming squires we have a meeting with sir john sir jump the knight isn't happy my armor will need another clean [Music] as it's covered in ash i must speed everything up yes my lord that's my lord carry on after spending hours polishing the armor the team have left it uncovered next to an open fire now before we get on the field do you understand yes master i'll do that again they can't even begin to dress their knight in his armor until comedian chris has re-polished every last piece carry on okay come on let's finish this job do we deserve to tell enough to punish you we are way behind time that's fine already dressed and prepared to joust fantastic the red knight incredibly jealous that i didn't have a chance to stick on a suit of armor myself actually it's incredible what's interesting is that some of the weapons the lances for example are actually being superseded by 1468 aren't they i mean jousting begins as training for the battlefield but combat's changing in 1468 you've got the beginnings of modern warfare with cannon and guns and gun powder and in the walls of the roses we're seeing men and horses and castles falling to artillery the hour of the joust has arrived crowds have gathered and the lord and lady hosting the tournament have taken their places we are here and we are ready the opposition haven't even taken to the field they're unprepared but the black knight still isn't dressed firstly i will need my my creeps chris has finally finished polishing the armor but there's no time left to fit it that's what i wasn't in the shelter how about you go to the left in the right room so the joust is looming squires yes move yourself your team are ready the joust is about to begin but only the reds have taken to the field [Music] our master squire told us that being late was unacceptable and it's rude 30 minutes late the blacks finally make an appearance waiting stand stand stand where's the shield this is the retinues heraldry look at the banner a heart and some wings that is sir john's heraldry you have done it wrong which means we can't even use that perfect with ground to make up the blacks parade their banner to try and win the support of the crowd the squire's performance is almost as important as the knights and the reds spot an opportunity to upstage their rivals the person they really need to impress isn't the lord it's his lady protecting high status women was at the heart of chivalry and noble women were often afforded the privilege of judging tournaments squires must pull out all the stops to win her favor all we can do is do our best for our master and hope that he triumphs and we've received the just rewards you know why am i talking like this so dad don't talk like this red bread with you hulk my lords ladies it's a pleasure to be here [Applause] [Music] bit annoyed time for the joust the weapon ready as rack operator it's fern's job to check the lance before passing it to weapon captain louise [Music] for the reds meg readies the lance for kirsty guys once his visor's down the knight can only see straight ahead so the lance must be guided precisely into his gauntlet stay on it guys come on just keep focused the joust will see the knights charge past each other three times they must strike each other hard enough to shatter their lances so the knights must display both strength and accuracy what's the point scoring okay it's three to the shield yep two to the body one to the arm illegal to the head good luck so hungry they're not messing around out there jousting is a war game after the first charge it's a dead heat but there are still two more passes to decide the winner a good hit for both so they both hit the shields top score three all [Music] it wasn't unusual for knights to die at these events in 1520 king henry viii held a tournament with the king of france there were elaborate precautions but nevertheless a french knight was killed tragically by his own brother as long as the nights are deadlocked the squire's every move becomes more significant [Music] let's get those ready guys any slip-ups risk losing the ladies favor now i've got to keep it upright and high passing a night his lungs must be done with haste uh he's ready he's ready and waiting they look they haven't got their life ready and the handover has to go smoothly to avoid spooking his steed for the first time the reds are in trouble oh this is bad this is [Music] is trying not only the nights patients but the ladies too [Music] i'm sorry i'm sorry there you are he's ready they're charting look at this look at this [Applause] although the lances struck they failed to shatter oh this is tense this was called an attaint and meant no score for either night it's still three all with just one pass remaining the squires need to win the favor of the crowd whose support could sway the lady's opinion this is all to play for so i need you to be sharp sharp sharp give us everything we can to him acting as bana bearer for the black knight give me some ass comedian chris [Music] [Applause] yes indeed are we prepared to let that red fool take the point no leave the field the horses wish to fight sir ignore the old fool disgusting standing in a dangerous spot yeah exactly unlikely unchivalrous absolutely smashed that chair and there's no way keith allen beat me a cheering the little hobbit man not a chance there's one final pass before the lady will choose her champion keep them cheering i want them cheering as soon as we move [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] both lance's struck the body that's two points apiece [Applause] it's a dead heat five all so victory rests entirely on the lady's opinion of the squire's performance that's why the role of the time crashes are so important isn't it because depending on how well they've done the horses up how well they've polished the armor that is going to affect what the lady thinks i think we were definitely up there i mean our horses were so much better i think we did a great job with the lances so i think we've still got a good chance i think we held it all together our matters were in our chivalry was here we weren't like clockwork yeah i think our showmanship at the beginning as well very good [Music] while the lady considers her verdict red red by the left quick march lift lift lift right left chris has one last stab at winning favor my leader you are a vision to behold and i say lord you are very very lucky man thank you very much indeed decision time has the reds stumble with the lance tipped the balance in favor of their rivals the lady of the just has decided or will the blacks late arrival onto the field cost them deer that the victim of this noble joust [Music] is [Applause] it's victory for the reds [Music] i feel like i just got an academy award this is one of the best days of my life that was brilliant it's just brilliant i mean really in your face it was brilliant that was great yeah i would do this one again ah every day let's just stay here forever [Music] time for the blacks that's off to face the music i'm more disappointed than i could tell you all that adrenaline and testosterone is coursing through me and it's like oh oh everything that you've done today has been mediocre why i don't think you were pulling your weight on me now i gave you an opportunity later on someone says be quiet chris what no i'm not having it shut up and listen instead of arguing your punishment will be while they're having a good time you are going to get my lord out of his armor and you're going to clean it again you're going to clean the horses again and you're also going to clean the rest of this camp move there's no pat on the back for second place in 1468 it was no congratulations you tried your best there was only you're lost now get out if that is the reality that you can do your job absolutely to the best of your abilities and then be told that everything you've done is rubbish that's not such a great place to live is it the winning squires reward a lesson in sword fighting skills which will take them one step closer to becoming a knight i'll be gentle to get to be a boy to get to be a man with fun for me it's a boyhood dream to live a day in the medieval world and finally today i got to do it yeah ah no i went differently to go around first okay everything was much much better being a squire in medieval times against being kitchen staff in the tuna times that there's no comparison i very much hope wherever we crash to next we're slightly higher up in society because you do get a much nicer ride from it it's the end of a chapter for our time crashes with some of them feeling victorious and others downright defeated what are we gonna do with these contracts i'm gonna burn mine yeah i'm not gonna need this as a resume for my next job [Music] in a way it's the end of a chapter for nights too no longer the sole champions of the battlefield they could have been consigned to history but they weren't artillery had already begun to change the face of warfare but the chivalry and pageantry of knights lived on at the joust and it would remain the sport of nobles and kings for another 150 years 1468 then what do we think amazing best day of my life yeah so where are we going next where are we going next time it's 1913 [Music] and the 10 famous faces crash into an edwardian stately home oh my goodness this is better than true to britain i don't know if you felt these beds they may think they're in downton abbey but the reality of a life in service i am talking could make this their toughest ordeal yet it's like mission impossible [Music] here

Channel: Absolute History

Views: 121,347

Keywords: history documentaries, absolute history, world history, ridiculous history, quirky history

Id: fGRBcocAUz0

Length: 46min 18sec (2778 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 13 2021