TikToks That Make Me Drop My Can of Soup On The Floor

so you think that you have good friends but ask yourself this question did your friends buy you a cake for filing your first restraining order my ex-boyfriend my ex-boyfriend smeared a [ __ ] on my wall hi welcome to hell what's your name's all let me get you checked in you're a member of the lgbtq community yeah yeah common misconception you guys don't go down here well only the bad ones so like jeffrey dahmer ben shapiro shawn mendes might show up at some point we're not really sure though and we don't like to assume no no no we love you don't you think you've been punished enough let me get you a drink sorry about them if every homo went to hell we'd run out of space as it is we just had to add a whole other wing on for those boys who are making that point of view about this song which that's it i just wanted that one hey mr jc how you doing babe i've got one of yours here oh just as gay as the day is long i'll send her your way okay bye-bye babe goodbye every time my brother catches me doing this face mask he pulls out his camera and tries to expose me for blackface [Music] she doesn't care about anything would you like to marry me i [Music] y'all be like oh my god he's baby let's protect him who the [ __ ] is baby [ __ ] i would like to meet him [ __ ] who's baby all right i'm on asian tick tock so i'm gonna i'm gonna see these filters real quick okay this one's a bit weird i'm like crying and he's like on my mouth oh whoa whoa i'm trying to trigger it i'm trying to trigger this one okay so with this oh put my hand up what is going on right now what just happened hey yo girlfriend check yeah babe stop getting get off me babe babe get out babe i look so [Music] i look [ __ ] insane so here's the deal i fell down flat on my face i was just going to get a can of soup fell down flat on my face passed out my dog apparently took a [ __ ] right next to my face i rolled in it got an infection now i have a dog [ __ ] infection in my nose and the can of soup that [ __ ] that went all over the floor i'm still starving for soup attention kroger shoppers is that the time is currently 10 30 and at this time the store will be closing in just half an hour at this time we ask that you please bring your main guy in something run and as always thank you for shopping with your richmond kroger oh my god oh no it didn't hear me sigh here it hurt me go oh my god yes they got all the miniatures left oh my god so i'm house sitting for my friend because he's away and i have to take care of little his little kitty right so i wanted to make some chicken this chicken right here just some chicken and i had to bring all my spices from home and all my marinating things um because you didn't have any and yes oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] i dropped it oh my god it's it's behind the oven [ __ ] me [ __ ] [ __ ] okay i got my phone back before i was rudely interrupted by the oven where my phone slipped right here i was trying to say that the owner of this house does not have any spices because yes he is and um his oven is racist i'm a cousin this says that i'm her mcm i mkm 1 900. no it's a it's an acronym actually not a numeral oh it means man crush monday uh public no it means that she likes me [Music] my roommate was filmed in front of a live studio audience this is a super good question what makes manatees so unique is that they don't have the part of the brain that generates aggression we're talking a thousand pound animal that lives in the shallow body form there are no sharks no gators that want to attack this animal they only eat grass so they don't have any other animals to compete with so their only way of being aggressive would be to swim away and the worst thing they could do to you is come and try to chew on your camera so i've had a breakthrough and let me explain you know the whole thing about like singing in cursive where the singer is like i sang in kaiser i know where that comes from i figured it out what genre do you associate that with indie pop indie pop singers do that now indie pop wants to be like this experimental genre what female experimental pop singer is like the biggest one bjork have you ever listened to bjork now let me say bjork does not sound like she sings in cursive what does sound like singing in cursive is an american trying to replicate her icelandic accent do it do it right now go on your favorite streaming platform listen to any bjork song and try to recreate that voice and i promise you you will sound exactly like an indie singer it without fail [Music] oh [Music] forget it [Music] are you actually [ __ ] real [Music] i'm not a [ __ ] string band against uh oh my gosh i just realized this sunday protects against plague holy crap sorry that just occurred to me i gotta get those relics back we gotta get that spire rebuilt okay uh i just compared myself to christ blasphemy is a good place to end election they ride you like a bobsled down to hell in flames this poor guy is having his tongue pulled out while this other demon is riding him like a bobsled well when you brush your fingers your hair does that make noise what thanks for contacting apple support my name is blank please give me a moment to look over your information hello blank i want to have apple care plus coverage of my beat studio three but i'm really not sure if i can get it into vacuum [Music] oh i didn't mean to scare you [Music] [Music] me vibes brb gotta go be prejudiced against anyone who isn't exactly like me closed-minded cheque yo i'm a [ __ ] dumbass i am performing holy war with a transformable on the twitter timeline right and i don't want i need my trans followers to get triggered needlessly right so i decided to tweet a warning and this and this is the man suite that i decided to pull with with all the genius in my mind are you [ __ ] kidding me are you dumb tyler you are you dumb are you dumb are you dumb there is not a day within the past three years of my life where i don't wake up and wish for a lobotomy i i wish to be lobotomized [Music] you guys ever on pinterest and you see those art the the arts with like the different boob shapes um and you see a boob that looks like your boob and you go wow representation matters guys oh my god your dog has disemboweled my horse explanation explanation i don't want to like go to like [ __ ] somebody and then be like oh we have the same love handles twinsies that's [ __ ] disgusting that's so gross my body is not a temple it's disgusting and i don't want to [ __ ] it this isn't about being attracted to yourself it's about no sex it's about knowing what you want and nobody can pleasure you better than yourself it's about knowing what you want like it's not like damn i want to [ __ ] myself it's like nobody could do this better than i could i for one would like to say i am fine with myself i am confident in my own body same yep i can look myself in the eye and jack off i could do it it's not like the top of my list but i could do it and not freak out so i feel like i could look at myself in my glow nude and be like yeah shoddy kind of thick have you guys never sat on your hand before you jerked off to have it numb it's the same thing [ __ ] clone no dear cart in the woods foe today thanks for asking me out my pleasure would you like red or white wine oh i don't drink i'll just have water you don't drink what do you like to do for fun i just stay home and watch movies what a nice girl i can't wait to bring her home and introduce her to mom i can't wait to go home and bang his mom when i was seven i would write down the first letter of every word i wanted to say in my diary so no one could read it not even me and let me tell you folks the code is yet to be broken also rock judging by how beautiful this woman is i believe it was a self-portrait i am good at lips clearly plus and sticker plus my mom says i'm an excellent jar and that is not even bragging about myself kind of i also remember having big plans to open up my very own flower shop and your options were going to be a ragler a rose here's another ragler or my personal favorite the exotic melon flower how cool is that don't worry i didn't leave out my garlic and stitch and last but certainly not least i know y'all have all been wondering what allison really stood for let me tell you athletic limber leopard lover yo-yo queen singer open eyes and not devil video game lover in college i slept with a dude named gerald what's up the dude named gerald and also a dude named tucker and not only that but i cried when gerald didn't take me back quick tour of my car so i have this coat that i bought at jcpenney's because it was super cheap and i haven't bought it in the house yet because i don't want to admit that i bought another coat because i have a coat problem and here is my gym workout bag and it's from curves you don't know what curves is ask your grandma 90 pounds of reusable grocery bags a three-year-old workers compensation form from when a kid attacked me at work i have a walking stick in here for days but i feel a little tippy because sometimes i had vertigo skunk puppet and side pocket my collection of raccoons for no desertable reason i don't know what's going on here and this poor guy is not having a good day oh no oh no oh no no social distancing self-isolation you're [ __ ] bambooz i see you sad lion i hear you sad lion i don't know i feel sad lying we are brothers torn and twain hey um i know you said that i'm only allowed to be upset about one thing that you do a week and i like totally get that and i really respect it but like it kind of hurt my feelings a little bit when you called me a stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] um and i was just wondering like maybe if you could like apologize for that like i know you didn't mean wow why do you always have to bring up the [ __ ] up should i do to you it makes me feel like a [ __ ] shitty person maybe you should stop being selfish and think about how i hey check out the tudors and the stewards 1066 battle of hastings oh wow that's pretty interesting hey what's this empire that i keep hearing about oh never mind not 1066 battle hastings we beat the nazis world war ii yeah this churchill guy doesn't like indians does he did we export all their wheat and just let them starve supporters of king charles the first were called the cavaliers wow i think we caused a famine in ireland too how much food do we need the houses of york and lancaster fought in the ward of the roses holy [ __ ] why did we sell so many guns to israel divorce beheaded died divorce divorced beheaded survived so we were told iraq had weapons of mass destruction and they just didn't god save our gracious queen long live our noble queen god oh yeah have you read this about peninsula andrew these are my ladies this is jill this is my lady amy little susie brianna you know why we call her brianna right it's a long story shaniqua helga this kitty genie i dream of theresa this is teresa right here now it's teresa is that zero dirty girl this spot this spot is for my for my special lady leah i'm gonna say that one more time leah oh rule yeah okay also so i have this tattoo right a skull one yeah would it work my sleeve covers it's like that that's how much you can see and every i don't know why this is like it's not important to the story but i just want to let you know that it's only men that say this is like oh it's upside down why is it what they don't and i go and they go and i'm like ah peekaboo you [ __ ] baby i hate you shut the [ __ ] up my mom just found this in her room and gave it to me nice i've just been looking through my camera and this video makes me cry look at it take six a codified constitution is a set of rules the government puts in place for its citizens to follow these are the two main principles why do i look like that god damn it what does one do in this situation he just ran across my leg it's like he's he's like a crab an angry crab what do i do what do i do oh [ __ ] sweet [ __ ] hi there i'm austin and i'm allison and we are small business owners today we're going to show you our top five favorite cobin karen moments enjoy disgusting change your hands real quick oh okay is that good enough are you ready to talk how do i just oh hi hi i have a question okay what's up how late are you what's that yeah what's up okay that's 43 22 please okay god i can't see the goddamn mask hi ma'am do you have a mask or can i give you one i do but i've already had it okay um be safe be respectful and remember cover your mouth and nose with a mask [Music] hi welcome to kitchen of cow cassidy my name is brenda and today i'm going to teach you how to cook rice in this calcation household we don't know what the [ __ ] this is so we're not gonna use it instead we will use a frying pan take your frying pan and add equal parts rice and water cook in medium heat with the lid on for 10 minutes 10 10 and make sure you check every single [ __ ] minute opening it letting the steam out yeah that's how you do it oh look i opened it every [ __ ] minute so it didn't [ __ ] cook oh what's next drain the water drain the water rinse the water oh [ __ ] cream cheese cream cheese fixes every [ __ ] thing every morning before work i like to drink my iced coffee and just reflect the nypd is throwing people into unmarked vans for misdemeanors you need an entire task force to throw someone in a van for a misdemeanor where are the good cops if you're a good cop and you're letting that happen then you're not a good cop this coffee's a little bitter but i like it i hate my boyfriend like i like i genuinely hate him but i can't break up with him because like i love him like i want nothing to do with him my personality doesn't but my heart loves this oh mario can i come in and talk to you if you don't yell at me then okay he entered his house mario there's something i've been hiding from you for years now ever since you first saved me from bowser and all those other times he got you bro that's true now that is true i'm sick of this world someone run me over now just kidding i don't want to die in front of the community racist house disgusting okay pennywise pull me down i have a clown fetish dude like why is everyone worried about me like i literally do not get every single person has two wolves inside of them one wants you to cut off all the sleeves of your shirts the second one wants you to cut off all the sleeves of your shirts [Music] i think one of my strengths as a tick talker is my ability to make 59 seconds for like 10 minutes you know because i start talking about one thing for example um how much more exciting the twilight series would be if instead of vampires they were moth people and as i wonder aloud whether or not bella would still be seduced by a 100 year old teenager if instead of sparkling under the sunlight he was just constantly slamming his head into lampposts we begin to drift away because my voice is so so smooth before you know it you're looking in the mirror wondering if you would be a happier person if you had gone to baking school and when you look back at the video i'm talking about aliens and now when i was 17 i had an allergic reaction to my deodorant that left these weird scars on my armpits and for a long time i thought it was surgical scars from aliens what is happening you've never been so confused in your life you look back again and suddenly i'm pretending to be a love stricken victorian dandy how long have i been here what is this gentle chaos you wonder so yeah that's why stop [Music] oh [Music] oh i really don't know why it's such a big [Music] deal fun fact just because america doesn't blatantly police free speech doesn't mean we're not a police state how you ask well the government doesn't need to police free speech if bootlickers like you do it for them and if any criticism of the military-industrial complex sounds radical to you congratulations you're a tool of the state it is extremely disrespectful when you guys call me the npc especially since i'm the only one here with the plum bob prove yourselves okay everyone i am not not drunk and i am not not sunburned but i'm hanging out with this guy that i'm dating and i roll up and he is wearing a crop top and light wash jeans casually a crop top and light washed jeans on this man i never knew what simp meant until this moment but holy [ __ ] christ i am simping i just want to thank you god i want to thank you for whatever i did to deserve this i don't deserve this so hail mary full of grace lord is with people that are that amongst women holy mother [ __ ] i think i'm about to get married i think i'm about to get married so i'm just doing my work out and then i look and look what my mom's bought i have so many questions who the [ __ ] is julie just found out about manifesting i'm not really sure how it works but i'm gonna manifest my booty to be big call that astronomical yes yeah yeah these houses [Music] i'm [ __ ] neither how many times do i have to [ __ ] tell you i'm irish [Music] i make a [ __ ] say oh yeah i'm as cold as a lamb with nowhere if you ever see me fighting in the forest of the grizzly bear help the bear cause that [ __ ] gonna need it dad i'm bisexual well i in prison i don't think it counts if if you do it when you're in prison i tried it but um um i don't it's not it's not gay if if you get hit only if you give it okay nice to know what do you do when you just airdropped your entire unedited vlog to your neighbor on accident [Music] is pink panther a lion say that again with snowden i don't get it he's the pink panther okay but is he a lion he's a panther is that a kind of lion no it's a [ __ ] panther i just googled they are not pink and lion's arm what is up you guys i'm just walking down by the river right now i thought i'd check in see what you guys are up to and also see what you guys think of my cool new hair clip it's like a really pretty green i actually just found it over there in the grass earlier so i think someone wants to must have fallen out of someone's hair or something but um anyway i don't know how to get home yeah look at this [ __ ] the [ __ ] i can't believe i wanted to kill myself last week i'm doing this for us no dad you're doing this for you there are 30 million songs on spotify you don't have a zoo now you are coming now what are they ain't changing many bullets three hours i'm so excited your company is great since it's my dad do you ever resume your resume yeah okay yeah thank you um i can't really find it right now it's okay i don't even read them i just got off the vibe yeah dropbox yeah that's that works too yeah i can drop that right into your box shut up that was so [ __ ] funny oh my god you're such a comedian you're [ __ ] insane you are all right okay um oh here it i don't is yeah so i did go to prison for a couple months but that's only because i was you didn't like kill anybody or anything no i didn't kill them i just shot people i did kill some people sorry no it's okay don't apologize my gun was not on safety i've done it before my mom would have been 61 this year but she died this is gonna be funny it's not gonna be sad i promise just stick with me the last birthday that she was alive i walked into her room she's ripping a cig sitting on her bed and i go mom what do you want for your birthday this year she takes a really long drag she looks me dead in the eyes and she goes all i want in the entire world for my birthday this year is a margarita in one hand and a ball sack in the other and i live by that i do and i think she's everyone paid why why did you give the cat more money where does the money go there's no owner i don't know everyone's hyping everyone's hype in this cat welcome to the bread bank we sell bread we sell loafs we got bread on deck bread on the floor shut the [ __ ] up listen i just need a baguette and a brioche we don't have either of those you can get the gluten-free white bread the potato bread what the [ __ ] is gluten take that [ __ ] out it's gluten free i don't care if it's free swear on your [ __ ] yeezys if you want to fight we gonna fight trying to be on world star well you gonna record it yeah i got my dollar store camera oh what's the [ __ ] situation what the [ __ ] do you want i'm the [ __ ] man tell him to take the [ __ ] gluten [Music] i wasn't allowed on my 8th grade school trip to washington dc not because i was a troubled child with extreme psychotic episodes it was because they knew my plot immediately we walk into the white house i start chanting i call forth john f kennedy's soul i rip him out of hell eternal damnation obviously i destroy his soul with my bare hands i rip him to shreds for what he did to marilyn monroe and it wouldn't have ended there with my high level manipulation tactics i immediately get handed over the power of today's america i hatch my own plan my own new world order death to all npcs then i end pizzagate and i save justin bieber [Music] have you ever [ __ ] up so bad you don't even know how to start fixing the problem i really don't think you'll understand how bad this is i'm using a [ __ ] spoon to clean it up hey do you like conspiracy theories yeah no i really like ones where it's about how our government is involved michelle obama is a man he he he called her michael a couple times what does the government gain from lying about that her pants creased on ellen women women starch their pants so they won't crease but but his pants creased his michaels michael's pants creased okay what do you think about the cia's involvement in the assassination of john f kennedy like how the brake lights of the x-100 were on after the first shot rang out and how multiple shots rang out after the first one why would they lie to us about that think about it dummy ranking the ten commandments part one coming dead lost in tenth places thou shall have no other gods before me this one comes off as a bit selfish i think he should be able to share the spotlight at least a little bit in ninth places thou shalt not steal i don't agree fully with this one if it's a chain it's free reign in eighth places thou shalt not bear witness to that to uh thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor this one's way too wordy they could have marketed that way better by saying don't lie to people up next in seventh places thou shall not say the lord's name in vain this one's really annoying when christians randomly bring it up like oh my god let me speak in six places thou shalt not make unto the any graven image again this one's way too wordy with me i did look it up and it's about not worshiping idols i can't get behind that because we do live in the same world as kesha beyonce lady gaga and britney spears photobombing a selfie that is so early 2014. you stupid [ __ ] dinosaur get the [ __ ] out of here i'm sorry you guys that dinosaur been working my [ __ ] nerves all night so i appreciate everybody tagging me in those videos saying they'd feel comfortable with me holding a drink at a potty but you actually shouldn't feel comfortable with it because i'm an alcoholic and what'll probably happen is i'll drink you drink relapse that night and still get caught [Music] for all the people making fun of my tooth gap one the girls and gays think it's cute two you're just jealous because you can't do this [ __ ] i just found out that the us army's esports team had to shut down their twitch channel because too many people were commenting what's your favorite war crime and then other people would link to a list of u.s war crimes and get banned which was just a blatant violation of free speech so now they've paused their streams to review internal policy and procedure people decided to make a game of speedwriting getting banned from the us army's discord server mostly by linking a wikipedia article that lists u.s war crimes and so i've set up this board to find out uh what i'm gonna be doing today we've got one dot so let's uh let's find out oh and now i can't believe i have to argue this one here it's not normal to have to clean your ex boyfriend's [ __ ] off of the walls it's just not normal hello here are some ways you can greet someone during a global pandemic the first one is the the classic elbow bounce but everyone's doing that it's a bit boring so what you can do is like that but lead with the ass so it's a kind of like ass bounce like that and um it's really fun and it helps keep disco alive um but if you're if you're a bit classy you don't want to do that one what you can do is the creation of adam would just say this is your hand this is your friend's hand and you kind of linger like this for about a second that one's really good because there's actually no physical contact at all so that's that's nice and that's all i can think of for now so i think this is the end [Music] you

Channel: Misha

Views: 590,404

Rating: 4.9327254 out of 5

Keywords: owlsatglaciercoast, glaciercoast, tiktok, tik tok, vibe check, 2020, funy, funny, meme, compilation, misha, misha tiktok, misha tik tok, tick tock, tick tok, tik tock, vine, lgbtq, lgbt, gay, cursed, blessed, august, september

Id: H6Ft2r-P0dE

Length: 37min 47sec (2267 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 07 2020