Three Presidents And One Colbert | Trump’s Easter Message | Stealing From Air Force 1

[Applause] welcome one and all to The Late Show I am your host stepen colar I hope that everyone out there hope everybody over here everybody out there had a good Easter weekend uh Church Ham jelly beans mine was you know basically low-key all I did was moderate a record-breaking fundraiser with Bill Clinton Barack Obama and Joe Biden no no biggie it was the most Presidential Power in one place since those four guys posed for Mount Rushmore it was an honor to be part of the evening we had a wide ranging and and fascinating discussion of the challenges facing our nation but one big question went unanswered why weren't any of them wearing ties I was I was wearing a tie I believe that means I'm president now wow wow thank you thank you the job really does agid you the evening was as a huge success Biden's campaign said the event raised more than $26 million and I would say what's even more impressive is they did it without selling one Bible now a lot of people have asked me what it was like to moderate the evening and I can tell you uh there were three presidents three communications teams and zero catering oh I asked one of the folks from the Democratic party for a Diet Coke and after a long delay they gave me a Diet Pepsi so I'm voting for Trump now I know I know death of democracy but I have my limits well there was also a fun moment when I asked President Obama why I'm allowed to call his wife Michelle but I can't call him Barack he said and I quote your wife can uhoh uhoh a lot of people enjoyed that joke for instance my wife yesterday was uh Easter as I were saying and Joe Biden uh had a lovely message for the nation posting Jill and I send our warmest wishes to Christians around the world celebrating Easter Sunday Easter reminds us of the power of Hope and the promise of Christ's Resurrection it's classic Donald Trump also had a beautiful Easter message April fools [Music] hey almost couldn't get that one out he he posted this all cap screed happy Easter to all including crooked and corrupt prosecutors and judges that are doing everything possible possible to interfere with the presidential election of 2024 and put me in pres including those many people that I completely and totally despise and also with you the uh and with your spirit I guess we say now yeah uh the annual White House Easter Egg Roll was held today and was a big one with about 40,000 participants 40,000 or as the hands that laid those eggs put it an entire generation lost and for what but as with everything in our politics the magga crowd found something to be fake outraged about in this case Fox News complained that religious themed designs were banned from the White House Easter Egg contest because of guidelines specifying that the submission must not include any questionable content religious symbols or over L religious themes how dare they dishonor the true Spirit of Easter when Jesus laid colorful eggs for his Apostles to find but here's the thing and this is true the same guidelines have been in place under every president since 1976 including under Donald Trump W oh my God those poor guidelines they had to be in the worst place in the world under Donald Trump but in in the world of madeup outr rage there's always plan B over the weekend Trump also attacked Biden over the fact that Easter this year coincided with transgender day of visibility so what and Biden had nothing to do with that since 2009 international transgender day of visibility has been held annually on March 31st the date of Easter meanwhile changes from year to year of course everyone knows the formula for setting the date of Easter the first Sunday after the first full moon see I've got some bad news for people who are upset that another thing was celebrated on Easter this year because it's going to keep happening in 2029 Easter is going to fall on April Fool's Day oh so my religion is a big joke to you is that what it is or are you claiming that Jesus didn't actually rise from the dead it was all a big prank on the apostles you got [Applause] Jesus shot of him and smoke him if you got him because just next year Easter falls on 420 there you go oh the Liberals want to turn Jesus into some long-haired sandal wearing bearded hippie was all about peace and love groovy man forgive your enemies all of these m messages that he posted uh were up on Truth social and there's some financial news about its lack of finances according to new SEC filings from truth social in 2023 on revenues of just $4 million truth social lost 58 million but how how how could that be they have such a solid business model old rapist yells at Easter now this is the first right this is April 1st so it's officially April which means it's time for March Madness and if you're anything like me your bracket is completely busted and uh you also have only a vague idea what it means to bust a bracket is that a sex thing cuz that's sounds like a sex thing as of tonight both the men's and women's tournaments are down to the final four but the most surprising thing to happen on the court this weekend was the court because five women's G games were played with different length three-point arcs on either side of the Court put that up Jim look at that you can see the difference that is a glaring error it is the most obvious mistake in sports since they accidentally played the 86 World Series with the live chicken oh here's here's a weird speaking of strange things happening there's some news out of Florida care of governor and caveman describing his dream Rock Ron DeSantis late last week Dan santis signed a bill that will allow the sale of bottles of wine in Florida up to 15 lers 15 lers is almost 4 gallons we have breaking news Rudy Giuliani has moved to Florida G already thank you this is a big change until now Florida law prohibited the sale of wine in bottles larg than one gallon of course there's a legal exception for bachelorette parties because there's no laws on a Gator Mike's fan booat half off of the Bride kisses Gator Mike The Man Behind this new law is Florida representative and guy who buys his formal wear at Spirit Halloween chip lamara Lam Mara's motivation for introducing this bill was to cut government regulation and he says this legislation has been a priority for me for the past five years translation five years ago I got divorced there's um there's some news from uh news from Washington and also the air above Washington journalists have been told to stop stealing souvenirs from Air Force One no surprise to me those journalists are sticky fingered mnch whenever Wolf Blitzer comes to my house on his way out the door full cavity search see you at the Christmas party wolf after Biden went to the West Coast in February the crew found several items missing from the Press section including branded pillowcases glasses and gold rimmed plates so the White House Press correspondence Association sent an email to reporters explaining that the thefts reflected poorly on the Press pool and must stop it sure does you forget the Linens go for the silverware that's where the real money is or just take the door it's a Boeing it's not bolted on it's not [Music] I I feel for the Press here I myself have helped myself to a little five finger discount before in fact I swiped Bill O'Reilly's microwave former Senator Jeff flake's rug from his office and a glass from the home of Barbara strand but that is all in the past when I met with the three presidents on Thursday I did not steal a single thing I stole three things we got a great show for you tonight I'll be talking to Hannah w inham and giving the C Bear questionnaire to Matt Damon when we come back meanwhile join us want [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 2,031,398

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: eYK7CxcaZw4

Length: 10min 29sec (629 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 02 2024