THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IF YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL

question what's the halal way of approaching a girl you like i wanted to bring this up to you because for them you would think that you know if the sahabi saw a woman from a mile away he went the other way and made it to the whole night no it wasn't like that they interacted with each other they talked to each other they worked with each other they were in business partnerships all kinds of interactions happen between men and women but with principles it was respectful it was dignified and when a companion when somebody liked somebody else you know what they did here's the astagfirullah part here's what they did hey i like you you want to get married and she'd say maybe talk to my dad he said okay and then you go to the dad and say hey i like your daughter and she's i mean i talked to her she's not entirely opposed to the idea is it cool and he says let me talk to my daughter how this happens today in london as you go to a girl respectfully hey we worked together for three years would you consider marrying me and she's like and maybe she says please don't talk to my dad he'll kill me because if you talk to my dad he'll say this is why you go to work this is why we sent you to uni like you fathers i have four daughters i have four daughters listen those of you that are fathers that have daughters you sent your daughters to university you brought your daughters to this country you made them live here you brought you took them outside in society you made that decision and when somebody like a muslim likes them that's a good thing how are they going to get married sitting at home who's going to like them so when somebody approaches them in a respectful way you should not say oh my god the day has come for allah you know you know what a humiliation now we have to go take you back into bangladesh and hide you in a village somewhere because some guy likes you stuff with allah you know and there's the you know somebody said on her and calm down it's okay you're somebody likes your daughter that's a good thing now you go and investigate find out it's completely fine the only rishta mentioned in the quran the only approach mentioned in the quran is that of musa was by himself musa was by himself and these girls were by themselves working outside and he went up to them and helped them out and the girl said he's kind of nice and she she went back to her dad and said hire him which means come on dad you know and that happened and the girl said i like the guy that's actually what happened in the story of musa musa didn't propose the girl proposed and the father can't propose unless he has the approval of his daughter so it's okay for your girls to say dad there's this guy this brother at the msa yeah he does the he's a thursday halaka that's really good you should come your daughter's telling you something it's okay go attendance okay find out don't complicate this there's nothing indignified about that don't go date a girl now and don't take oh no give a lecture i'll take you out to dinner no no no not that either but can you have respectful interaction with someone you're interested in for marriage absolutely absolutely nothing wrong with that can you take your time to understand each other's likes and dislikes yes it's fine respectful courtship is okay with parental guidance with in dignified fashion there's nothing wrong with it so what happens is we have two extremes we have people that are more conservative than the sahaba and then we have people that are more liberal than liberals okay and the islam is right in between it's a natural way it's a completely natural way okay and so this is something that i thought it's important to mention for families and for yourself talk to your daughters ask if they like someone don't create a between fathers and daughters there should be open communication they should not be terrified to tell you that they're interested in somebody don't force them to marry someone they don't want to don't force your daughters and tell them if you don't marry this one who's going to come and marry you and you have to we already said yes to them don't humiliate the family and say no no those kinds of are haram i will say it they're haram you cannot emotionally and psychologically force a girl to get married under family pressure that is baton that happened at the time of the prophet saws and the prophet says i'm considered they're invalid until the girl genuinely likes a guy and says yes i want to marry him on her own from no pressure from her father no pressure from her mother no pressure from anybody else she likes him and even if the day of the nigachi says mom i don't want to do this the mother doesn't say too late girl too late we've got the hall they're all what are people gonna know if the girl says i don't want to do this then no stop allah gave her that right you cannot take it away you're burying them alive this is the new way of burying women alive by the way back then they used to take the baby girl and bury her right then now we bury them at the day of the nikah this is what we do this needs to stop let them marry who they want if they're a dignified muslim and because now you're living in a different society you won't find someone from the same village it's okay it's okay bangladeshi can marry a syrian it's fine i know it's okay for syrians too yeah you syria turkish somali yes somali that's fine you know you know musa is an arab musa is an arab or or actually not and he's from india israelite and he married an arab he went and buried in madin didn't he so many arabs um we only marry arab really was actually from what's up with that you know it's all good you so it's it's it's a time now it's a strange time that we live in and actually the only thing that can save us is the basic principles of our deen and getting facility making the path to marriage easy is actually one of the greatest battles against shaytan when we make the path to marriage difficult when you have 28 30 30 i'm not going to do other questions forget it let's just talk about this what am i going to do we're going to have 35 year old boys not married you what do you think they were doing for 35 years what planet do you live on they didn't do anything haram no evil thoughts went in their head they didn't go to university they didn't go to work 28 29 year olds not being married this is ridiculous it's absolutely absurd it's unacceptable it's unacceptable and we we create standards that don't exist in our religion and don't make any sense you have three daughters four daughters somebody proposed for the younger daughter and no proposal came for the older daughter no no no no we go in order who said you go in order which sharia if there's a good blessing that came to your home for whichever age why would you deny it what will people say what will allah say when you explain yourself to him and say i deprive my daughter of a good nikah because it wasn't in order what will you say to allah you tell me that what are you going to do ridiculous this nonsense needs to stop marriage needs to be made easy and the guy side because hindu tradition says the guy is the gift so the girl's side has to give him gifts islam came and said the man has to give what the man has to give a gift the woman is a gift to the family and now we do in pakistan india bangladesh southeast asia no no we don't want jahaze we don't want gifts from the girls side but there should be something at least a fridge you know that that is the opposite of what allah commanded that is the opposite of what allah meant you're not only disobeying allah you're reversing what allah said asking to pay to be gifted because you're the girl you know the the guy's side that's like way beyond haram i don't even know what the category that belongs shaitaan is giving you like five stars for that one do not fall into that category don't give your daughter-in-laws and your wives gifts and then ask for them back now this is happening they'll give them jewelry at the wedding no that was just for the photos really allah don't take a single thing from the spouse that you've given to them are you taking a huge accusation against your own self and taking clear sin on yourself when you agree to a maha you know nowadays the the fashion is they don't discuss the math until the day of the nikah or the minute of the nikah before then when the comes up they say oh it's family it's okay we'll work it out it's okay and then the time comes and then the girl says 50 000. and look the guy poor guy was eating biryani and get stuck in his like 50 000 and then his uncle whispers it's okay nobody pays it if you have no intentions of paying mahad your nikah has been valid if you have intentions of asking your wife to forgive them you're committing a grave sin you can't even ask for a discount you cannot you're not allowed you can't and you can't give it when you know you decide she decides when it's given that's her right that's what validates the marriage don't agree to a man you can't afford don't agree to a manhattan you can't you have no intention of paying don't agree to allah that you intend to get forgiven or if you love me you would have forgiven it why do you why does money have to prove that i love you because it's and because you can't use that kind of language if they out of their own free will out of the goodness of their own heart decide to give you some of it like you gave the the you know the thousand for the month to her of the maha and she says here's here's two pounds get yourself an ice cream that's up to her she wants to do that she can do that but you cannot that's not your money that is not your money these things why am i highlighting these random things these are the things that we have introduced into the institution of marriage making marriage difficult and when you make marriage difficult the door to zina is wide open the door to corruption is wide open it's unnatural to think that a 18 year old 19 20 year old guy girl are going to be in university and they're going to be there for five six years and not develop any emotional attachments and then for them to randomly marry a cousin back in lahore that's not gonna happen and if it does happen it's a form of oppression because she's emotionally attached to somebody else and no man wants to be with a woman who's emotionally attached to somebody else or vice versa it's oppression sometimes you're denying a nikah only because it wasn't you you didn't come up with it the guy says i like the girl no you will pick you will marry who we say why who said it's a mistake i don't like it i don't like that girl that's not your problem that's his problem he's an adult now let him make that mistake if it's a horrible mistake so be it but allah gave those young men and women the right to pick who they want parents can give advice yes but when you try to control what your children are doing it will only lead to disaster it will only only lead to disaster i'm not giving license to 12 year olds and 14 year olds who say i could marry whoever i want no i'm talking about mature adults i mean i've met young women that are 25 26 year old accomplished in their careers pharmacists physicians you name it and they they like somebody and they want to marry them family says no that is absolutely volume nothing else can describe it that is if a woman says she wants to marry someone and he's a muslim there's no reason for you to stop it you have no right as a family to stop it this is wrong of you to do you're abusing a right that allah gave you abusing it it should it should not happen and for young men the last bit of advice is for young men become men earn a living be dignified don't offer like dates for me so how we used to give what in what other thing are you a sahabi other than the kitkat you want to give for man you know no be dignified you know earn a decent living for yourself don't say i like her i don't have a job but i don't know they're only her family is only interested in dunya yeah that's why we have man only interested in dunya you're supposed to be concerned about dunya too don't forget the portion you are owed in this life it's a worldly decision too it's not just a spiritual decision how is somebody going to provide for my daughter where is she going to live is she going to live a decent life these are respectable questions these are decent questions so these things we have to take very very seriously in our communities and when it comes to the subject of marriage i didn't talk today about what happens after marriage because there's a whole set of will we do after marriage that for another time i'll yell at you another time but right now let's just fix the institution itself let's make marriage easy for our young people especially the ones that are ready and capable you know whoever among you is capable let them get married capability if capability is there no other barrier should be there and for those of you that will find this controversial it's okay i'm leaving here anyway soon so that you you deal with it and troll me on the on the on online so i'll tell you if you know your if your son wants to marry somebody who just took shahada yesterday right or the girl wants to marry a guy who just became muslim a week ago or something and he said well he only became muslim because he wants to marry the girl he's not a real shahadah who decides what a real shahada is who decides can you tell why something happens when osama you know the famous narration of osama came that he was about to kill someone in battle in battle he's about to kill someone and the guy falls loses the enemy loses his sword and he's about to strike him down and he says he took shahada became muslim did he become muslim because when he fell down it hit him really hard on the head and all of a sudden islam started making sense and he's like hold on a second i think that we need to stop this in i'm ready to be muslim now obviously he took shahada because he knows muslims don't kill each other so he took advantage of the opportunity because he's losing if he was the one on top he wouldn't have taken shahadah would he so he's on the bottom and he takes shahadah and osama sees it and says yeah right he killed him and when that happens this news reaches the prophet saws did he is it obvious like 1 000 the guy took shahada for the wrong reason it's obvious to anybody who sees it the prophet says what will you do when that comes for you on judgment day that's what the prophet says that shahadah will complain on judgment day i wasn't respected and that's in the most obvious of cases when somebody says they've taken shahadah who are you to question their reasons that's between them and allah that's okay as a matter of fact even among the sahabah there were those somebody said i want to marry you and the the woman was a muslim and the guy was a non-muslim and she said you're not muslim he goes okay i'll become muslim she says okay fine and he became muslim and they got married done but you could say he married he took shahada for a woman yeah but the prophet was okay with it why are you have a problem with him the sunnah is okay you're more sunni than the sunnah so uh this is more complicated we've made it more complicated than the sahaba so sahabah were simple people and they came from a very rebellious society where men and women did all kinds of things and nobody cared and then islam came and i want to give you some background here you know in in madinah when the sahaba migrated the muhajiroun were bankrupt nearly right they left everything behind and madina was a crazy place right now it's madina but madina back then was las vegas it was bad when the prophet went this way for them it was not a good place okay you have to understand it was a crazy crazy society for instance one of the most common industries in the city of madina was prostitution when the prophet moved their slice of them and the women that were they were brothels like prostitution houses they used to have flags outside their house that this is a place you can come for those kinds of things and a companion comes to the prophet saws and says ya rasulullah there's a woman because he doesn't make any money he's a mohaju there's a woman she makes good money i'd like to marry her and what what does she do oh well you know she's in the you know what i'm saying i'm not going to spell it out you know why i'm telling you this because sahabah didn't even know that's a bad thing yet they were also learning weren't they they didn't become angels overnight they were being developed and so he doesn't even think and imagine you come to rasulullah and ask this question can you imagine somebody coming to any mom today and saying hey so uh i'm thinking about the next janazah will and then the ayaat came no you cannot marry those kinds of women in surah nur like revelation came to teach sahabah and teach the believers look those are not the kinds of people you want to marry they are their own you know don't mix with them you know like that ayah is referring to professional prostitutes that zany will not marry islam is referring to them because the question was actually [Music] you

Channel: TheProphetsPath

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Length: 19min 23sec (1163 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 04 2021