MARRIAGE ADVICE TO REVERT MUSLIM - SPEAKERS CORNER

[Music] i give salam to my people in bangladesh salam to the people of marrakesh okay assalamu alaikum what happened to your brothers and sisters and dear friends hope you guys are aware inshallah i had uh brother what's your name brother youtube how are you doing good in hamdulillah but you know some christians might think you know you look like i wouldn't be like we don't believe we haven't seen isla islam you know but they have these images you have to be careful walking in the park some people might be like oh you know i wouldn't be like you know really yeah yeah yeah yeah i was walking to the station someone shouted oh you're jesus yeah exactly there you go yeah yeah exactly so sadly it shows the purity of islam that we can't do that with man because we believe our lord is not a man you know alhamdulillah so yusuf you're a revert yes alhamdulillah how long about three years when i've started taking the dean seriously okay you came to me with a specific advice about marriage yes you're looking to get married insha'allah soon sisters if you're watching this please get in contact if the citizens might be watching this um if anybody's interested for a halal actually you know what if someone's interested brother yusuf you sophia you can gain contact and we can get him to come and speak to your dad didn't it yeah okay so what was the advice that you wanted well as a reaver it can be quite difficult because some muslim families sadly have this idea that they don't want their daughter wearing a white person because they think they you know you might corrupt her this has already happened to me already i came quite close to marrying a girl but her parents didn't want her marrying a white dude so it sadly fell apart she was very nice about it for her you know given to her but it was still quite upsetting [Music] this is something that i went through personally about um sorry i saw a police officer this is something i went through in my marriage journey and i got i had this happen to me about five times four or five times and it gets really disheartening it's very very disheartening because as a young man looking to get married in this society where when the sun comes out a lot of girls lose their clothes i don't know what happened to their clothing they end up getting lost living in the society and trying to go about the halal way and trying to stay away from zina on top of that to have your muslim community to make that hard upon you because they are too concerned about what others think is a disgrace so i'm a revere you're a reaver not only that allah tests us with other people so i was tested very severely uh which you'll see in my documentary if it comes out in charlotte i'm waiting for the app in china because i want to help young people like you it's very important you know to get into the marriage very important that's why i'm developing this app that's why i'm spending so much time behind the scenes that people don't know so i would say to you look you have to prove to allah how bad you want this allah is going to test you me it was very like it was very bad the stuff that i went through very shocking stuff yeah and you know you get hopes up there's been times where i would think okay i'm gonna marry the sister things are well i'll even go shopping like i'll buy a gift and a family and imagine they say no and you're just it's hard it's heartbreaking you know and this happened to me a couple of times you know and the thing is what i would say is that you have to believe that allah is capable of giving you a wife allah is very capable of that yeah he's the one who's created evidence in earth if things are not going right there is a reason yeah that's why i thought to myself because she sent a very long like paragraph explaining and then i was like you know what this happened for a reason maybe maybe because her family was bigoted maybe it was actually a very good thing this didn't happen so i looked at it in a very positive way i was like you know what i spoke to my friends and my muslim friends about this and i just accepted it quite quickly exactly so i would say that is good because at the end of the day you're um acknowledging yeah that allah subhanahu wa tala is the sorry allah is the best of planners and he is planning for you and that's why it's very important for us to understand that when we're looking to get married we expect it to be easy yeah now allah like for example put me through certain stuff that if i was not to go through that stuff maybe i wouldn't appreciate my wife today i would have just maybe disregarded it or just not think much of it but there's certain there's certain stuff that i went through that allah made me acknowledge and made me it's okay made me acknowledge the hardship that i went through that i can you know they say how are you supposed to know what is beautiful if you've never seen what's ugly yeah so the thing is with me i believe allah put me through that because allah knows my psychology allah knows what kind of a person i am so allah put me through that so eventually when i met my wife the way like everything that i wanted in in a in a wife in my in-laws it's like allah rolled the red carpet out for me but before that it was so hard like i was like i don't know am i sinning have i done something wrong what is it like what is it because and then i had to say to myself look ali you know allah is capable of giving you a wife he's capable it's not a big deal there's something that you need to work on so i had to self respect and there were specific two sins that i used to commit nothing major but it would have an impact on my marriage so letting go of those eventually and acknowledging and accepting and accepting that eventually within i would say to acknowledging that and you know praying to allah like they say to hatred i'm not a person that wakes over 200 but in that species i was in such desperate situation that i started waking up into tahajud i said allah please i need a way out yeah and within about i would say less than about a month or maybe six seven weeks i met my wife well i try and do the sunday prayers and i always met dua for it i always met you after my friends as well so yeah i guess it's having that right attitude exactly knowing that god can provide exactly so what you're going to do is you should self-reflect and say okay am i ready for marriage yes and then look at that for example yes what can i improve on so it's going to be a self-development because i was looking for about four or five years you know so besides i learned so much lessons along the way and i had to go through them if i didn't go through them i won't be the man i am today you get it and maybe my wife will not be the person she is you know so just say these things as allah equipping you you know and try stay away from haram do not ever think of turning to like whatever yeah yeah and ask allah's protection i would always say allah protect me from the fitness woman in the context of we're men and our biggest weakness is a woman as a single man in this country it can be tempting as a public figure myself i would get girls messaging me all this kind of stuff it's tempting but if it wasn't for the protection of allah and his mercy god knows where i would have been so yeah that's that's that's what i would say keep strong be consistent um some people just withdraw and be like oh forget it i'm not gonna look anymore whenever it happens no i don't really agree unless you're self-developing if you're not self-developing look be active looking looking at different places etc and going about it the right way if you do it allah subhanahu wa and you will see how allah subhanahu will make things easy so don't give up actively look different meats go to marriage events if my marriage look match i went to marriage events i went to marriage events i've if for example if i see a let's say i'm walking i'm in the park i see a sister i like i find the liking enough nobody can come and save him that's haram i'm not doing nothing around bruh the only person that should be uh questioned are people who are going to trips them you know and ask me the number so if i see a sister that i like i will try to find a brother or a sister here and ask him to ask on my behalf yeah if not should i tell you something i would personally i would obviously have to assess the situation and see and see like if there's signs you know sometimes people people give you signs yeah so in the context of if there is actually no she sees or if you see her coming to the park again so we have to be careful because you know they might be married so this is something we discussed in our marriage documentation with mufti mink how do we draw the line i don't believe there is anything wrong with a brother who's intending to get married so go to a sister in a halal approachable way and say salaam alaikum sister i noticed you i'm single i'm looking to get married if you are i would like to speak to your father there is nothing wrong with that the point is to abuse that to be like oh you're going to go chirps and go no i'm talking about somebody who's sincere looking to get married and is asking to speak to their father you know doing things the right way and we discuss it in detail how to go about it when it should be done but i would say actively look you know uh means your friends um etc you know exhaust your means and then leave it to allah once you say okay i'm doing it but you can't just sit at home and be like okay yeah you're gonna wait for the drop on your head it's not gonna happen and like i tried other apps like match and stuff like that it just felt like no another sister's there were wearing a hijab and it just felt like it was soft called tinder or something and okay now there's apps there i'm not going to comment that's not my area what i would say is the following is that i know people who have got married through apps it works the point is though if you are a weak person your ima is not there these very apps are being used to commit zina it's happening so we discussed this in my marriage documentary we we we kind of we go we go kind of undercover on these apps in my marriage documentary to see the sides to them the go the pros and the cons yeah so that will come out soon inshallah we talk about the ins and outs the pros and the cons yeah what's good what's bad how to do with it etc so um you said something very interesting you said um that the sisters that you was getting to know or they were not wearing hijab yeah and they were wearing a lot of like tight clothing and like it felt like it was just a it felt like they were on that app saw as like they didn't want to be on tinder because obviously that's overtly haram but this is kind of like an alternative they're like well i'm on this i'm obviously trying to look for somebody and i remember i was on single muslim once and this girl like messaged me like oh you're gonna be free on these days and i didn't see the message so until like it was too late but i was a bit like that's a bit of a weird thing to do personally yeah you know you know when i first i was i was on i was on one of these apps as well yeah i was on one of these apps and i share my experience and i share i share my experience because as a muslim who's left that as a new muslim when i left that lifestyle to come and see certain girls muslims offering you haram was very very sad to me it was a very disappointment because and i shared this in my documentary i think part one or part two i talk about i talk about my haram relationship that i was in for about five years how i came out of that i talk about that in detail because we want to tell people how not to start their marriage journey before i tell them how to start their marriage journey you have to know how not to start it so it's sad now what i would say is that's another discussion on its own but when it comes to the hijab this goes for brothers and men yeah the times that we're living today it's all exterior it's all let me tell you something yeah the sisters who wear the hijab may allah bless them and those who are even willing to wear the hijab do not make a marriage decision based on her hijab her nakab her jilbab his beard his fob his miswak the books behind him if you go and do that you're going to have a i'm telling you you're going to be very disappointed you have to look at the values and like how they actually practice the dean because obviously you don't know inside of them exactly and this is something a lot of us fall into a sister message oh i married an imam okay and he watched his pornography this is true the point is this you just said oh he's imam yes wow he's a imam he'll what does that mean i don't have no we run out we don't have it yeah yeah so i'll try to find one where's that guy i need one because i need to yeah i'll find i'll get one okay so the thing is what was i saying yeah so basically why does that happen is because exterior she wears in the club what does that mean does she pray how do you know she prays oh but she wears the car so when she raised in the car bro the point is this the action is good but that should not be your marriage decision i learned this the hard way i learned the hard way you've seen my documentary yeah looking for somebody and oh she wears it means nothing brother there's some stuff that i heard and saw i would have been live in the shaytan in the regime straight yeah okay dude wash yourself some matting yeah matting in the park because all we do is we look at exterior and allah in the quran tells you the opposite he tells you that taqwa of clothing is more beloved so we need to understand that when we're looking for a marriage partner do not if they're wearing hijab good for them it's not a marriage decision factor you're marrying a character you're marrying a person when you have problems you're not going to go and start talking to the hijab hijab listen bro don't do that you're annoying me you're going to be talking to the person and this is why it's so important to marry someone that has good character brother i know so many people here you look at them dressed like a sunnah yeah the guy has the most disgusting character on this planet and the process of selling warned certain women against certain people because he said look this guy you know he'll beat you up he carries a stick on his shoulder so i would say aki bravo yusuf is that ask allah's guidance do it do not ever look at a sister or a brother this goes for both he's you know miskin yeah alhamdulillah and every second word subhanallah it's good but don't buy it straight away don't just think oh she's so righteous he's so righteous he said subhanallah seven times when i was talking allah it doesn't mean anything in the context of a marriage decision what they're doing is between them them and their lord yeah because i hear horror stories bro you marry a guy that guy's got brother he's just marrying and divorcing like his happy days you marry a sister bro you have a child she tells you you have a problem she devotes she goes on a mad one she doesn't show you the kids i know brothers who are suicidal because they can't see their own children and this is what has come to our sisters today and i'm talking both sides the brothers they don't give the rights they abundant their children and these people i don't get these men how could you leave your child and then you have women who use their kids against their child so it's a big problem i can't discuss it here in one sitting but i discussed this in a marriage documentary in detail it's going to come out inshallah very soon to a cinema is near you but inshallah i'm working on something uh any more questions um no actually you've answered them very well no problem inshallah if you get married call us to you i of course i will please you yeah brother sisters as you guys can see we are here having a dialogue with the muslims youngsters youth from all different topics and dialogues because we want to hear our youngsters i want to hear our youth out so we can address their problems in the right way and whoever's watching this we ask you guys to make it easy on your kids because if you make the halal haram your daughter your son don't come and tell me my daughter my daughter will never do that i'm so sorry i'm so sorry you have no idea what your daughter is up to i'm so sorry your son you don't know what they're doing so make it easy on them and let them get married because if you don't don't be surprised if she comes home pregnant or he comes home and says yeah i impregnated a girl why because you're too concerned about oh my cousin will think you can look at the damn about your cousin i'm so sorry who cares about your cousin burn your cousin yeah i'm going to say strawberry bun your cousin you are more concerned about your cousin than allah and his messenger oh what would what would our family think back home who gives the kid who cares about your family this is sickening it's sickening and our youth are falling into zina and zinna and zina when allah says don't go near it how are you going to ask along the day of judgment when she when he comes and says to you your daughter wanted to get married to a reverb brother white black whatever yeah and you said no and she fell into zina you play a part of that you play part and there's no justification we should stay away from that but make it easy on the youngsters it is halal do not make the halal haram until next time from salaam kona assalamu alaykum

Channel: SALAM

Views: 42,860

Rating: 4.9522152 out of 5

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Id: OQ8MJS1OaEU

Length: 17min 30sec (1050 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 10 2020