Things Dating Apps Don't Want You To Know - AskReddit

his job was to pretend to be a woman people that worked with a dating app company what's a dark secret dating sites don't want us to know this was years ago now but i used to work with a guy who had been an engineer for a well-known dating app he said 99 of the profiles were inactive and that 80 of the active profiles were men he didn't provide numbers but also said there was a huge disparity between the average number of messages sent to women versus those sent to men according to him all of them told the site was mostly men reaching out to dead profiles and never getting responses as i said however this was years ago so it's entirely possible that they've cleaned the site up since then i did a tinder date export a year ago or so and did some statistics on my own luck 24 747 likes and 59 702 dislikes over 667 days resulting in 47 matches out of those 47 matches only eight matches actually led to conversation threads with at least three messages so in those 24 747 right swipes i did in a little less than two years i got eight conversations out of it that's more than 3 000 right swipes per conversation it's a pretty efficient platform for thoroughly crushing your soul i used to work for a famous dating site as a content creator and by that i mean it was me who replied to messages from users i used to get paid between 11p and 18p per message with bonuses for hitting certain message amounts it was mostly horny guys who just wanted to chat and get off but i met some interesting people one a 60 year old guy whose wife had died a few weeks prior hadn't had intercourse in years needed a release spoke at length of how he had picked me because i looked like his dead wife in her prime 2. a guy who was in his 80s who was an ex-adult film star sent multiple links to his videos and such we spoke at length regarding his trips to africa and all the charity work he'd done three a lot of guys who would agree to whatever weird thing i dreamed up on that day horny people be horny it all came to an end for me when a guy told me his dad had died that morning and he wouldn't be around for a while i got reviewed for my reply which was i'm really sorry for your loss if you need to talk i'll be here for you they suggested that i should have replied do you not care about me i have needs to just realize that the site owners really just didn't care at all a couple met on the dating app i worked on unfortunately the man passed away and the lady returned to the app where they met for remembrance one day a bug in the system made some profile likes to be sent again after months and she received one from her deceased boyfriend her bug report was heartbreaking i used to moderate a known dating app the amount of unsolicited genital pictures men would send women not even accompanied by any words was horrifying i mean you'd expect it because online dating is a cesspit but the sheer amount would still surprise you i had to look at each reported picture and say yes that's a wiener what the hell goes through someone's mind that makes them think right i'm trying to find another human being to go on a date with me have intercourse with me or maybe even a long-term relationship need to make a good impression what can i say i know i'll send a pic of the old boy that'll make her instantly fall in love with me nailed it i worked for a famous dating site for a couple years this is probably widely known but women frequently lie about their age and weight and men lie about their height and salary also it's a big problem that women are inundated with dms while most men get none someone replied i tried my best to get conversations started but got absolutely nowhere i must have rewritten my profile five times thinking there must be something in it that was off i'm a fairly average guy so nothing weird in it but it made no difference thankfully the one and only date i went on was a girl i really hit it off with we've now been together for 14 years married for 12 and have a daughter together so it worked out in the end i was ready to give up right before i met her though when i asked my now wife about her experience it was the complete opposite and she had barely had to buy her own dinner for the past six months because of how many dates she'd been on i used to work at a big dating site although this was about four to five years ago globally about 90 of the users are men so there is a huge male to female disparity although it's not that bad on a per-country basis for some countries the most depressing stat though was the histogram of word count and messages something like 91 of opening messages were just one word hey and 85 of conversations were just one exchange long hey no reply ever looking at human digital mating habits played out in data science form was really depressing my ex-boyfriend worked for the yahoo italy dating site back in the early ish 2000s his job was to pretend to be a woman and message mail customers just as their accounts were going to expire this would encourage them to pay to renew their subscriptions once they renewed he would ghost them he only lasted for a few months due to how unethical it was the thing that really pisses me off about this is back in the day when i online dated some guys i met were really salty about getting ghosted it added to this general opinion that women are fickle [ __ ] don't know what they want etc i never ghosted anyone and was up front if i felt it wasn't a match and got the other end of this with some aggressive responses which made me realize why some women would actually ghost a guy it's aggravating to know that so many companies knowingly add to these issues and contribute to misogynistic attitudes by leading these men on with fake profiles for profit in early and mid-2000s i worked for a hosting company that hosted servers for several adult personals websites a bunch of people who worked there went through all the allegedly privacy-controlled content from the server side to harvest all the loots women had uploaded regardless of privacy settings i was pretty much the only person in the team who thought it was gross and weird because people didn't consent to share that stuff with everyone they thought they had privacy settings that controlled who could see it most of the people in the team who didn't participate in the practice objected because they didn't want to sift through dudes weiner picks to creep out on women really glad i got out of that cesspool watch the german documentary that shows how dating websites are faking profiles and are chatting with the customers to keep them in the app and getting their money the reporter starts to work for the dating portal and shows how they are trained to keep the texting going because every message costs money the people are chatting with hundreds of customers in this documentary it has shown how they betrayed a woman to the point she wanted to end it at this point the reporter runs the documentary because she can't stand it anymore in the second part it has shown that she luckily didn't commit go through with it some of the dating portals are run by pure scum in the second part they show the creation of those fake profiles where they get photos without the knowledge of the people in the photos photos for fake profiles come from instagram and facebook with no privacy settings a friend wrote her master thesis about the different criteria in online dating in real life almost half 43 the female participants who were in a relationship told they would never have swiped right on their current partner other interesting results were that over 60 of men they wrote with on apps and agreed to go on a date would have no chance if they asked in real life i had to apply to a certain amount of internships for grad school doing public relations but i already knew which internship i wanted but i applied to the ashley madison internship too i got an interview there and they paid the most so i thought i'd check it out the two dudes interviewed me leveled with me right away and said they were going to hire a woman for the public relations job but they had a contract position for a dating coach and i was one of the few straight masculine social dudes who's outgoing in our pr program so they offered me a part-time dating coach job i took it but also had another job and it was way too much it was so depressing man any guy seeking out a dating coach to have an affair is a lost cause plus ashley madison is like all bots women aren't seeking out affairs like that i was out after a few days the people that worked there were exactly the type of people you'd think that worked for such a company every time i tried to kind of hint and acknowledge how the premise of their website is messed up they'd actually act confused and genuinely seem to not understand what the big deal was greasy people almost all of them funny enough the most innocent girl in my program got the original internship and it turned her off pr for good okay so i didn't work with a dating company per se but i helped software engineers optimize their profiles men get very few matches regardless of how good their profile is women get a lot of matches but most of those matches are useless i wanted to share my basic advice don't try to appeal mildly to everyone appeal strongly to a small subset of people emphasize who you are show don't tell what makes a person want to date you will you impress them with your volunteer work will you bring them fun places will you make them laugh get good photos if you have to get a friend with a good camera to take photos of you multiple times over a day with several changes of clothes be brutally honest do you need to go to the dentist because your teeth are gray go do you need to get a haircut go somewhere that charges 50 a haircut and tell them to do what they want if male do your clothes fit ask a fashionable friend remember people are judging you on your appearance as much as you are judging them they can't see you're kind of funny or interesting they can see if you're well groomed and making an effort guys swipe right on 47 of profiles women only swipe right on 12 searching for serious or casual relationships for men versus women 61 of men want something serious while 38 want something casual 87 of women want something serious while only 13 want something casual it's worth noting on that last one that it's partially because of a difference in how men and women would describe themselves if they're not sure women would rather say something serious if they're not sure to see how something goes but happy for it to turn casual if they're not feeling it while men would prefer to say something casual and then happy for it to turn serious if they like them my old boss was the financial controller of a big dating site he kept on seeing these big invoices for modeling agencies and initially thought it was because of the big parties they used to host when he asked about it it turned out it was just content for the fake profiles they created to lure in users as a guy it's good to realize that you can't win a rigged game that means you can put all that potentially wasted effort into something that will produce real results dating apps for shy guys are like escalators for obese people you might think hey the perfect technology for me but it's actually better for you to take the stairs it's supposed to be terrifying to approach women you're supposed to learn to do it anyway that's what makes it attractive even if you are awkward as hell while doing it it signals to them that in spite of the crippling knowledge of your own insufficiencies you are capable of moving forward and going after what you want you won't find anyone from these companies that will reveal anything crazy but what people should know is that dating apps are legit 80 men so unless you are devilishly handsome or have something else to compensate for a lack of looks you're just not gonna get anywhere imagine there's 100 people on a dating app 80 men and 20 women in reality maybe five to seven of those women are worth pursuing because obviously not every woman is attractive you are competing with 79 other dudes for five to seven women your chances are slim to none assuming you are even average so long story short you are 1 000 times better off flirting and getting numbers in real life as opposed to being another card in the deck on some mediocre app i worked for a dating app for a few years in a row that was pretty high up where i was privy to almost all of the inner workings of the app one of our members got scammed out of six figures and there was nothing we could do about it either she was older and lonely and the person used an attractive picture and kind words to play off of that if you let them people will find any way to scam and abuse those who are lonely some of our systems for detecting and removing scammers and spammers were far more advanced than our systems for actually creating matches also we found older women were actually the most likely to be scammed you can make your own conclusions from that to that point the algorithms are less sophisticated than you think they mostly consist of educated guesses and then trial and error to see what creates the most engagement this engagement could be anything from returning to the app to sending messages the main goal of the algorithm is always to get you to pay never to actually ensure you meet somebody in real life as much as we tried to lie to ourselves that it was no dating professionals or psychological professionals were ever consulted when we were building our software software that basically plays cupid and changes the courses of people's life i kept thinking it would be a good idea to have experts and scientists tell us what determines attraction and sets up a relationship for success but nobody was ever interested in hearing that instead we made our own choices about how to build this thing i met hundreds of our users in person and they were all pretty great people many of them were willing to come in and talk because they were struggling with actually finding people and matches on our app it was sad that our software was failing them some of the best most lovely people really struggled to find a partner almost every dating app has a significantly larger percentage of men than women we toyed with doing a test of blind dating where you couldn't see a user's profile picture until after a match but that failed really quickly people truly are superficial contrary to many users on this thread we were a large dating app and we didn't actually create any fake accounts we were certainly proud of that that being said there are some that do it and it's relatively obvious when they do the profile is usually a very attractive person somebody who probably has no need for dating apps and it's usually shown very early in the queue and the photos tend to be of instagram influencer level quality that's the biggest giveaway thanks for listening to radio tts hit the subscribe button and activate the notification bell for a free match on tinder click the right box for the dating advice playlist forget about dating apps and find your next date in the comments below you already have something in common with another radio tts viewer

Channel: Radio TTS

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Id: vKxPsUp8CUA

Length: 14min 59sec (899 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 05 2021