(Game Sack theme music) - Hello and welcome to Game Sack. This time around we're doing bad TV and movie games. Yeah, this one was a lot
easier to pick out titles for, because companies just
wanna make a quick buck, and just put out a crappy game. - And speaking of crappy games, Dave, you've got the first one. So, lets just get right into this. ("Lights, Camera, Action"
Sonic Mania soundtrack) - [Dave] Here's Total Recall for the NES from Acclaim and Interplay, based on the movie from 1990. In this action platformer, you play as Doug Quaid who's out to
get his identity back. Right from the beginning you can just feel that you're gonna have a hard time, since Doug's punches have
the reach of a T-Rex. There's a lot going on in this game that just doesn't feel right. Guys will shoot you from garbage cans, but you can't kill them since they only pop out when
you're not close by. You'll get pulled into an alley by somebody that grabs
you when you walk by. You fight a couple of really
small dudes back there, then it's back to the street again. Be careful though, as a lot
of times when you get back you're being shot at by
a car that's passing by, and it's hard to dodge the bullets. Eventually you'll get to the first boss. You have to fight your
wife who's got a gun and follows you back
and forth across a room. After you punch her a few
times she'll drop the gun and it'll make getting
rid of her a bit easier. The problem is at some point Richter will come and stand in the doorway, shooting a steady stream
of bullets at you. You can't crawl, and if you do have the
gun you can shoot at him, but he never gets hit. You have absolutely no choice
but to stand up and just die. I did this several times, and the only way I was
able to get past this jerk, was to kill my wife very quickly and exit the room before he showed up. And the next level seems impossible. And I'll say that I do
like the idea of it, but the execution is very poor. It's cool since it looks just like you're a skeleton
fighting other skeletons. But it's not cool cause you get constantly bombarded by these other skeletons and that floating orb thing. I couldn't get past this area. And you know what? I've had enough of this crappy game, and I really didn't wanna keep trying. Stay clear of it, it's bad stuff. (music that makes you think
of anything but Total Recall) - [Joe] This is Congo The
Movie, The Lost City of Zinj. Made by Sega for the Saturn, and only released in the US. This is based on the 1995 Congo movie, which itself is based on a book. Now the movie wasn't exactly great, and as you can imagine
the game is even worse. In fact, it's much worse. From what I can tell, this takes place before
the start of the movie, and you play as this guy
whose name is Kabalo. He's not in the movie, and Sega shot new scenes
just for this game. And I've gotta say that the quality of the full motion video
is actually pretty good for the Saturn, I'll give it that. But listen to what Kabalo says right before the first stage begins. - I have no weapon. My water is almost gone. - [Joe] That's right, he has no weapon, and his water is almost gone! So of course the first thing he does after he stops transmitting
is take a big chug of water. And then he pulls out
fairly serious knife. Right after this, the first stage boots and he has a gun! What the hell, he has plenty of water and multiple weapons! - I have no weapon. My water is almost gone. - [Joe] Stupid game. Anyway, as you can see the game plays as a silky-smooth first person shooter. And by silky-smooth, I mean not smooth. At all. It controls similar to most Doom-era first person shooter games, and by that I mean you
don't need to worry about shooting up or down. Your mission is basically to find a bunch of diamonds for your employer, TraviCom. If you find all the diamonds in an area, you get rewarded with more ammo and items to pick up in the next area. Miss even one diamond and you're screwed. It's really difficult to
tell what's happening, or where you're going on screen. Thankfully, there's a
map in the lower right. The game would be unplayable without this. Not that it's exactly
playable with it there, but still. I don't know what kind of place this is, but it has land that distorts on it's own for no reason whatsoever other than to give you a chance to pass. Eh. Seems natural. The enemies you fight are stupid. Like bugs, chameleons, chess pieces and two headed snakes. And of course you're
constantly being attacked by enemies you can't see from all sides. The control is slow, but it works. That doesn't mean that
there's any enjoyment to be found here though, oh no. The stages are long, absent of variety, and well they're boring. Sometimes you have a fever
which engages randomly. When this happens the controls suddenly reverse which is just a fantastic idea in a first person game. Especially when you're
trying to navigate an area, and then fall off. The jumping and the
collision are both wrecked. As for the graphics, well lets just say I've seen Atari 2600 games that are more pleasant to look at than this. Just stay far away from this one. (gun shots) (creatures chittering, angry
that they're in this game) - [Dave] This is Ghostbusters
2 by Activision for the NES. Last episode I talked about
HAL's New Ghostbusters 2 which is the game we should have gotten. Instead we got Activision's attempt at making a game based off the movie. Well I guess this is old Ghostbusters 2, and in this case, the
new is definitely better than the old. This game has lots of problems, and very little enjoyment. You start out going into the abandoned underground subway station. The first thing that you notice is that the controls are backwards. The B button jumps, and
the A button shoots. Aiming your slime blower is a chose since it's slow to move it up and down. By the time you get it raised to shoot at, well say a ghost, the
ghost has flown past you and it's way too late. I tried keeping my slime
blower at a 45 degree angle but that was useless. (laughs) That's not the half of it though. You also have traps that you can deploy by pushing the start button. These will help ever so slightly, and yes if you try to jump over them you get stunned. You can only get stunned three times before you die and your game ends. These side scrolling
levels are a real chore, and aren't even remotely fun to play. There are driving
sequences that are better, but they still fall far
short of real entertainment. Driving the Ecto 1 is easy, and hey it can jump! You can also shoot slime
straight ahead of you, and in the air. Like I said, these levels are better, but everything is so small, you feel you're really
separated from the action. It won't take long for you to get your final game over scene with Vigo taking over New York. And I say let him have it! I was actually rooting for him in the end, and ended up turning it off and playing something better. (music that's better than the game) - [Joe] Here's Dennis the Menace, for the Super Nintendo Entertainment
System, from Ocean. This one's based on the crappy 1993 movie. Not the crappy 1959 TV show, and not the crappy 1996 TV show. And not even the crappy comic strip. I wish it would have been based on the somewhat tolerable 1986 cartoon though. Ocean is certainly not known
for making well-designed games, and this is no exception. It's a side scrolling platformer, and you start out inside
Mr. Wilson's house. Everything in here,
including the thousands of cats that he seems to own, like bouncing up and down
for no reason whatsoever. And of course, everything you touch will cause bodily harm. Actually, instead of a life meter, you have a courage meter. So touching a cat doesn't
actually hurt you, it just makes you more afraid. Yeah. You have to go all over the place and get four of these large coins before you're allowed to exit. You start out with a water pistol which is useless. Yeah, have you ever
shot a stream of water, at a cat? Well apparently the designers
of this game haven't, because the cats here are
completely okay with it! You can pick up other
weapons along the way, like a slingshot, and a blowgun. All of which have unlimited ammo. The control here is super slippery, especially when you try to stop or turn around when running. Sometimes you have to find switches to access other parts of the level. And good luck, because Walter Matthau
can come running at you, and if he gets you, you die. I mean, you lose all of your courage, you don't die, you just become afraid. Yeah. And look at these enemies. You have to content
with the aforementioned random bouncing objects, and is that the Nestle Quik rabbit? Sometimes you're forced
to get hit by enemies just to make it up high
enough to a certain platform. And of course you can't jump down through platforms. It even has some auto scrolling stages which are way too long for their own good. And it's impossible not to get hit a ton. The graphics aren't bad, but the music is mediocre at best. Still, F this game and also the awful movie
that it's based on. ( mediocre 16-bit video game music) - Alright, so far so bad, right? I mean, god these are some stinker games. - They are, they really are. - What is up with that music in Dennis the Menace? - I dunno, it doesn't fit the game at all. - Not even remotely close. - Well, lets see if these
games fare any better. Spoiler, they don't. (sweet music that's probably
from a Gradius game) - [Dave] How about some
Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom for the NES? I get a lot of flack because I actually like this movie as much as
Raiders of the Lost Ark. I think it has a great story,
where Dr Jones is sent to find the mystical Sankara stone, and all the children
that have gone missing from an Indian village. His true adventure begins
when he finds a cult that's using the kids as slave labor to find other stones, and is ripping hearts
out of peoples chests as a sacrifice to Kali. What could have been a great video game turned out to be a jumbled mess. The goal of the game is to save all the children that
are trapped in cells, retrieve the Sankara Stone, and get out alive. It's really hard to make
anything out in this game because of the crappy graphics. The screens loop infinity up and down, and left to right. At first I thought the
levels were humongous until I realized it was just looping. Everything is so confusing, and platforms you think
you can jump to you can't, and vice versa. Then you'll leave an area
and go into another one thinking wait, I haven't
finished that one yet. Don't worry though, because
you'll get back to it by exiting another door in this new area. It's just so confusing
and completely annoying. Speaking of annoying, how are you supposed to rescue this kid without
losing a life or two? He's got lava or
something that'll kill you if you touch it right in front of him. It's just brilliant game design. You do get to ride the mine carts, but instead of a cool adventure, you're just using them to
get to another platform. It is so boring. It won't take long before you just quit this game like I did, feeling that you're not
accomplishing anything. Seriously, I made it to the forth area, and I felt like I did absolutely nothing. The only thing I did accomplish was wasting a few hours of my life. (tense video game music) - [Joe] It's time for
some Cory in the House, on the Nintendo DS. This game is based on the top rated anime of all time, that
ran on The Disney Channel for two seasons, which
itself was a spinoff of That's So Raven. You're Cory Baxter, and
you live with your dad in The White House, where
he is the head chef. In this game, Cory has
designed bobble heads of the President, and wants to
sell them in Neo Washington, But hijinks ensue, and now
he has to find the boxes containing the bobble heads fast. That's so Cory! Now he has to sneak
around The White House, using only his wits, and
the power of friendship. The game is basically
none stop fetch quests for everyone. You need to get one item for this person, so that they can give you
another item to give to another person so that
they'll give you what you need and so on. It's actually kind of
annoying because no one can do anything for themselves and you gotta take care
of every damn thing. Oh and the game thinks
that it's hilarious. Some of the dialogue even
features the laugh track that's straight from the anime, so that you know when to laugh. (canned laughter) Somethings are
unintentionally funny though, like the idle animations. Just look at the way
they sway back and forth when they're just standing there. There's also lots of mini games which require the use of the touch screen. Hmm, should I read all of these
instructions before I start? Nah. The worst are the rhythm music ones which feel like they go on way too long. But you'll also be using the touchscreen for lots of things, like hacking into secret
doors with your PDA. Or, fixing a neon sign,
also with your PDA. Because, y'know, that's how
neon signs are repaired. The game really isn't
difficult at all to play. What is difficult however, is retaining my interest to keep playing. While Cory himself was
an amazing character, whose exploits were often unparalleled when it comes to storytelling, this game sadly just can't live up to the amazing greatness that
is the original anime. - [Secret Service Dude] Huh? - Hng, Hng, - Huh? - Hng, huh? - Hng Huh? Hng hng. - Huh? - [Dave] Jaws was a
great movie, wasn't it? Just seeing it one time almost made me never want to
swim in the ocean again. Hell, even when I swim in a swimming pool I was afraid that Jaws
was gonna get me there. I was just a dumb kid though. Anyway, LJN took it upon themselves to make a video game for the NES based on the movie. In this one, you pilot your
little boat around the ocean. You'll get thrown into random
battles just like an RPG. In these battles, you'll
kill stingrays, jellyfish and sharks with your little spear gun. And they drop various items when they die. The only item that you
really need to collect is the conch, so grab these and leave everything else behind, unless you're going for a high score or something like that. Every now and again a bonus stage will pop up where you fly a plane, trying to kill jellyfish. You must really hate
jellyfish if you have to use an airplane to kill them. Yeah I thought it was a stupid idea, but you can get some good conch shells for killing those bastards. Your goal is to go back and forth between two ports on
opposite sides of the map. The first time you dock
you'll get a scanner that can track Jaws. This will cost you 5 conch shells. Every time you dock at a port after that, your power will increase by one, and this costs three conch shells. Jaws does what a shark does, and just roams around. When you do get into a fight with him, and you're at level one or two, you can shoot him
forever and he won't die. He does have a life bar which I like, but it barely moves. You need to power up to at least level 5 to make his life bar move. Once you do defeat him,
then you have to ram him with your boat. This is insanely hard for some reason. Anyway, the reason this
game sucks is mainly because of the repetition. It gets insanely boring very quickly, since you always seem to be
in a random battle sequence. The more you play, the
longer they seem to get. It can also be tough to stay alive, since everything can kill you in one hit. And since you're swimming, the control is already a bit loose. Those damn jellyfish killed me the most. Probably revenge for the
air plane depth charges from the bonus levels. And to piss you off even more, you lose a lot of your conches and your level goes down. You also have to buy that stupid scanner every time you come back to life. This was a tall order for LJN and it ended up just being a
boring repetitious experience. (Video game gun shots) - [Joe] This one is VR
Troopers for the Sega Genesis. VR Troopers was a Power Rangers-like show from Saban, Saban? Entertainment, and they hoped to cash in on the success of Power Rangers. Well it never happened, and it only lasted for two seasons. It's a standard one on one fighter, where you can choose from a
whopping three characters. Basically, the three
protagonists get sucked into a VR machine and need to fight their
way back to reality or some stupid thing like that. It's set up like any other fighter, meaning you have to win
two out of three rounds. What's almost interesting about this one, is that you can select a different fighter before each match. Not that it really matters though, as there really isn't much
difference between them. You have buttons for
throw, punch and kick. Wait, a fighting game that's
not six button compatible? Well actually it is, kinda. If you change it to one
of the easier difficulties The extra buttons can
do your special moves. Not that you'll need it, cause pulling off the special
moves is a piece of cake. Unfortunately the fighting is boring and uneventful. Even the enemies are uninteresting. Between matches a weird
dog will talk to you, and you'll go into battle grid mode. It may feel like a bonus round, but it's not. A bunch of goons will attack you, and you just need to survive
until the time runs out. If you fail, you need to go back and refight the last battle
that you'd already won! These feel very tacked on, and they're a complete waste of time. The time gets longer and
longer after each match, but I quickly discovered
a way to trick the game into letting the timer just run down. Just look at how dumb the AI is! Overall, it's extremely easy, I beat it on the first
time I ever played it. In fact, I never even lost a single round. Suffice it to say, this
one is not worth your time, nor your money. I guess it's worth mine though, because I own it. God I hope I didn't pay much for this. (generic video game music) - Hey. - Hey-ya. - Hey-ya. - Hey-ya - Hey ya. - Follow GameSack on Twitter @GameSack and @GameSackDave, and on Instagram as @GameSackOfficial. And check out our Patreon if you want. - Alright Joe, I can see
the games you talked about, Cory in the House and VR Troopers, but Indiana Jones and Jaws? Those are some fricking
top quality movies, and they got these really crappy games. - That's true, that's true. They should have made those good movies into good games at least. Like in Jaws, why don't they let you play as the shark, man? And eat people. That'd be awesome. - That's what you wanna do. - I know! But anyway we've got
more games to talk about. Lets get back into it. (music from Twin Bee) - [Dave] Here's The Adventures
of Gilligan's Island for the NES from Bandai. My first thought when I saw
this game many years ago was "Why would anybody wanna make a game based on a crappy TV show from the 1960's? I'll never play that stupid game!" Well here I am playing it, and this is the perfect episode because it is just not good. You play as The Skipper,
wandering around the island doing all sorts of boring tasks for the other stranded idiots. I'd been playing the game
for a bit over an hour and it was in an episode were Mary Ann was taken by headhunters. I wonder what kind of
head they were hunting? I was supposed to get
the Professors book from Mr Howell so he could
translate some ancient text. You'd think that Mr.
Howell would hand over the book immediately
since it might be a clue to saving Mary Ann from the headhunters. And what do you think the jerk told me? He told me to get his
frickin' lost golf ball, and then he'd hand over the book. Even for a video game fetch quest, this is very lame. Gilligan follows you around and is controlled by the AI. For the most part he does
okay at keeping up with you, but he's not perfect. Every now and again you'll get separated because he'll fall into a hole, or just not be able to keep up with you. I was fine with this,
since he was constantly saying the same two things
while we were walking around. The problem is that to continue the story, he has to be with you. Like here, where I found
the ancient stone tablets. Gilligan had separated
from me a while back. I took the tablets to the Professor, and he made a stupid comment about Gilligan not being there, so
the game couldn't advance. Luckily you can use a rope at any time and this will bring your
little buddy back to you. I used the rope and then the Professor took the tablet, and finally the story got moving again. It's crap like this
that's beyond annoying. There's lot of birds, monkeys and boars that roam the island. You can try to punch them but good luck. Your reach is way too short, and they're way too quick, which will leave you falling on your ass almost every time. Trudging back and forth across the map is time consuming and just boring. I wasn't a fan of the show, and I'm definitely not a fan of this game. Which makes me wonder why I bought it, even though I got it for cheap. (mildly perilous video game music) - [Joe] This is Alf, on
the Sega Master System. And it was released in 1989. It's based on the TV show from 1986 that ran for four seasons. I was never really a big fan of this show, I mean I liked Sesame Street
okay when I was a kid, but I could never really get into the non-Muppet puppets like Alf. This is the only console
game that Alf received, thank god. You can tell that this game was made by people who have never
played a video game before in their lives. The goal of the game is
to repair your spaceship so you can fly to Mars
and visit your girlfriend. Unfortunately, you're stuck in a house with a bunch of idiots. The good news is that in this game they don't seem to be home. So you begin running
around everywhere until you find a secret cave in
the basement full of bats. And good luck, because if
anything in the game touches you, you die immediately. Turns out you need to grab the cat which will scare away the rats, and also grab the salami
from the refrigerator and use it as a weapon against the bats. It helps, but it doesn't help much. The bats will get through
and touch you somehow, and it's super easy to die. I can't tell you how many damn times I've tried this cave. Oh and you actually need to navigate through it twice in the game. If that's not bad enough, you only have four lives, and one continue, and that's it. So you get a nugget from the basement cave that you can sell. Hmm, what should you buy? Oh I know, a key to unlock the closet in the kids bedroom. That's right, the general store is selling keys to the closets in your house! What the hell? Oh look, this store is
selling a book about me. Okay, I'll try it. Once upon a time there
was an alien lifeform blah blah blah, ...being very smart, Alf
decided to sell the story of his adventure to Sega so
they could make it a game. They did, and decided that
if anyone read this book they would have to go back
to the beginning of the game. Surprise... Ha. Ha. And you've constantly gotta
avoid these super grabby guys that are everywhere. Eugh. They're even in your house! What really ruins this
game is the sloppy controls and the giant hit boxes. Also the game is cryptic as hell, so you have to guess what you need to do. But basically it boils
down to finding things to sell, so that you can
afford to buy other things. This part where you're taking your rocket scooter into space
throws random stuff at you. That means that sometimes
there is no way to escape. But I discovered that if you face right and fly up on this side of the screen, you don't have much of an issue. Make it to the moon, which
has a spaceship repair kit, for some reason, and boom, you've beat the game. Now, some of you may
complain that I spoiled the game by showing you the end. Sorry, nothing can spoil a game
that's already this rotten. They graphics are sparse, and the music is average. And there's barely any
sound effects anywhere. What's worse is that
this was one of the most expensive games on the console. Definitely not worth your money, or anyone else's honestly. (annoyingly repetitive video game music) - [Dave] This is Bram Stokers
Dracula on the Super Nintendo which is based on a pretty good movie, which is based on a very good book. It's also on the Genesis. You play as Jonathan Harker, who is out to rescue his
girlfriend Mina from Dracula. It's your ordinary action
platformer where you slay many types of things from spiders, to wolves to other humans. Each level has you doing two things. Firstly you must find Van Helsing. He's just standing there
being totally useless and tells you to find a
certain item in the level. Once you find it, you
go to the second area where you fight your way to a boss. The action is okay at best as you slice and dice with your sword. Killing enemies doesn't feel satisfying, since they're just there when you cut them up with no fight. The most annoying part of every level is the unfair hits that
you'll take from spikes that come out from the
ground and from the ceiling. In a well-designed game,
you'll get a slight hint of the tip of the spear maybe poking out of the ground to warn you. Not in this game though. In all honesty, these types of unfair deaths almost single handedly
ruined the whole game. Even when you know they're there, like the second, third or even forth time you try to get past them, you'll still end up taking damage. And once you get to the boss fights, they're typically very easy, and then you have to watch
their death explosion for a good five seconds
before you can move on. (prolonged explosion) But this game is a triumph
of game design genius compared to the Sega CD version. This is a side scrolling FMV platformer, for lack of a better description. Of course the buttons are backwards, with A doing the jumps. You trudge along fighting
the most fearsome creatures from the story. Crows, bats, spiders and zombies. You can even punch ghosts in the face. The controls are just horrible though, especially the jumping as there's a delay before you actually jump. And you can't attack while jumping. The entire game is rather clumsy, and you'll often find
yourself covered with enemies that you just can't avoid. And don't try to play this one with a six button controller, or all you'll be able to do is kick. Just remember to hold the Mode button when you power it up. To top it all off, it looks super grainy, and the sound isn't very hot either. There are random clips
of the movie inserted, but they look pretty bad. Interesting concept having FMV scrolling backgrounds for a game but it just doesn't work well at all. Hell, the book has better
gameplay than this! (definitely not Keanu) (creepy streamed music... in mono) - There you go, those are some games, some bad games, that are
based on TV shows and movies. - They were definitely bad, and I'm sure you guys can think of probably at least a hundred others, maybe, I dunno, if there's that many out there, if there's that many out there, - There'd be at least 95 I'd imagine. - Over the many years
of video gaming history I'm sure there is. - I'm sure there is. And the person who's
captioning this episode is gonna love it when
we talk over each other. - Yeah, yeah totally. (laughter) - Anyway, what are some games that you recommend that we try? If you want to torture us let us know, and in the meantime, thank
you for watching Game Sack. (Game Sack ending theme) - Joe! Joe! You're not gonna believe it! Somebody sent us a game based on our show! - Awww man! I was hoping it'd
be a Genesis game at least. - Yeah I was hoping for
a Super Nintendo game but well, you know... beggars
can't be choosers I guess and, we should probably be grateful, so... ...and since you do most of the work I think you should have it. Awwwww man! Well, let's see how it is, anyway. - Good idea! - Well look at that, it doesn't work at all! - That sucks 'cause I really wanted to play with myself! - I wanted to play with you, too! (record needle scratch) What??
No animation of a Master System game going in? I loved my SMS (sold it long ago.) So much hollow shell, it feels empty when you pick it up.