<i> ( APPLAUSE )</i>
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW." ALREADY IN PROGRESS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST
TONIGHT IS AN EMMY-WINNING COMEDIAN WHO CREATED "THE
OFFICE," "EXTRAS," AND "AFTER LIFE." HE HAS A NEW STANDUP SPECIAL
"SUPERNATURE." >> PEOPLE QUIZ ME ON TWITTER
WHEN THEY FIND OUT AN ATHEIST. "YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD AT
ALL?" "NO." "DO YOU PRAY?"
I GO, "NO." "WHY DON'T YOU PRAY JUST IN CASE
THERE'S A GOD." I SAY, "WHY DON'T YOU PUT GARLIC
OVER YOUR DOOR JUST IN CASE THERE'S A DRACULA." I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH PRAYING. I KNOW LOADS OF NICE CHRISTIANS
AND MUSLIMS AND JEWS. THEY SAY, I'LL PRAY FOR YOU, I
SAY THAT'S A NICE GESTURE. AND THEY SAY, WE'LL CANCEL YOUR
CHEMO THERAPY. DON'T DO THAT. LET'S DO THE PRAYING AND THE
CHEMOTHRM, SHALL WE, LET'S DEFINITELY KEEP THAT ONE, SHALL
WE? <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," RICKY
GERVAIS! ♪ MOVE ON UP
MOVE ON UP MOVE ON UP ♪ ♪ MOVE ON UP
MOVE ON UP MOVE ON UP ♪ >> AMAZING. >> Stephen: WHAT? >> AMAZING. >> Stephen: QUITE LOVELY,
ISN'T IT? NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. >> IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. >> Stephen: WE HAVE SPOKEN A
COUPLE OF TIMES OVER, YOU KNOW, LOCKDOWN, KIND OF QUARANTINE,
COVID, BUT YOU ACTUALLY HAVEN'T BEEN HERE FOR ALMOST THREE
YEARS. IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU HERE AGAIN
IN PERSON. IT'S A SPECIAL SOMETHING. IT'S A MICRONUTRIENT I'M GETTING
FOR RICKY GERVAIS BEING HERE IN PERSON. >> I HAVEN'T WON UNDERPANTS FOR
THREE YEARS. >> Stephen: WHY START NOW? >> EVEN GETTING DRESSED NOW IS A
BIT OF A CHORE. IT'S LOVELY TO BE HERE. >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU. HOW WAS YOUR-- OBVIOUSLY, COVID,
LOCKDOWN IS NO FUN. >> BUT IT SORT OF SUITED ME. >> Stephen: IT SUITED YOU? >> I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE COMING TO
THE HOUSE. >> Stephen: DO YOU LIKE PEOPLE
AT ALL? >> THEY'RE NOT MY FAVORITE
ANIMAL. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
I DO LIKE PEOPLE. I DO LIKE PEOPLE. BUT AS LONG AS I COULD-- YEAH, I
LIKE MY PRIVACY. I DON'T LIKE DOING MUCH. SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO GET OUT OF
ANYTHING. PEOPLE STOPPED INVITING ME TO
THINGS, WHICH IS GOOD. I COULD STILL WALK EVERY DAY TO
MEET DOGS. IF THEY SAID YOU CAN'T TOUCH A
DOG IN COVID, THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM. BUT YOU HAVE TOO KEEP AWAY FROM
PEOPLE, NOT A PROBLEM. NOT A PROBLEM. >> Stephen: THERE WAS A PERIOD
OF TIME THEY WEREN'T SURE IF DOGS CARRIED IT, AND THAT WAS
SCARY. >> I'D RISK CATCHING IT FOR
DOGS. I WALKED IN CENTRAL PARK TODAY,
I'VE BEEN THERE TWO DAYS, AND I'VE BEEN FOUL TIMES, AND I
SCRUFFLE DOG S. >> Stephen: SCRUFFLE, IS THAT
AN ENGLISH TERM? >> NO. THIS IS HOW WEIRD I AM. NOW, I FOUND OUT THEY CARRY A
STICK AND THE DOG SEES THE STICK AND COMES OVER, I GIVE IT THE
STICK, AND IT LOVES ME EVEN MORE. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
ISN'T THAT WEIRD? >> Stephen: IT IS A LITTLE
WEIRD. THAT'S LIKE CANDY FROM A
STRANGER. THAT'S A LITTLE ODD. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF WEIRD,
I WAS JUST REMINDED BY MY PRODUCER WHO WAS TALKING TO YOU
EARLIER, WHEN YOU WERE HERE THREE YEARS AGO, WE USED TO DO
THIS BIT ON THE SHOW CALLED "PERSONAL SPACE." WE WOULD HAVE, LIKE, ONE OF THE
STARS WHO WAS COMING ON THE SHOW, WE WOULD HAVE THEM-- I'LL
SHOW YOU-- WE WOULD HAVE THEM STICK THEIR HEADS IN A BOX WITH
ME, AND IT WAS CALLED "STEPHEN COLBERT'S PERSONAL SPACE," LIKE
THAT. AND I CAN'T BELIEVE, SEEING HOW
MUCH YOU'RE NOT HUGE FANS OF A PERSON OR PEOPLE THAT YOU DID
THIS WITH ME. YOU TRULY DIDN'T SEEM TO ENJOY
IT. >> NO, IT WAS HORRIBLE. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
DO YOU MIND IF I SHOW PEOPLE THE CLIP? HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN IMPOSSIBLE
BURGER? >> THAT'S WHAT. >> Stephen: IT'S A VEGETARIAN
BURGER. >> NO. >> Stephen: IT'S DELICIOUS. >> HAVE YOU EVER HAD ONE? >> NO. >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE TO
TRY ONE? >> YES. >> OKAY. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
I'M NOT-- NO. NO. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
( BLEEP ). >> Stephen: OPEN YOUR MOUTH. OPEN YOUR MOUTH. >> NO! NO! YOU CAN'T-- LISTEN, THIS IS--
THIS-- HONESTLY. <i> ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )</i> >> Stephen: CAN YOU IMAGINE
DOING THAT IN A POST-COVID WORLD? >> DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE IT
WAS NORMAL THEN. <i> ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )</i> IT WAS WEIRD AT THE TIME BEFORE
COVID WAS INVENTED. >> Stephen: SURE. >> THAT WAS WEIRD. >> Stephen: SURE. BUT PEOPLE HAD A GOOD TIME. >> A MAN-- TALK ABOUT-- ME
GIVING A STICK TO A DOG. A MAN GIVING ME A BURGER WITH
HIS MOUTH. >> Stephen: IN A BOX. >> IN A BOX. >> Stephen: YES. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
YOU HAD-- SPEAKING OF, LIKE, THINGS THAT YOU DO LOVE, YOU
HAD-- YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL COSTAR, YOUR SERIES "AFTER LIFE"
JUST RECENTLY ENDED. >> OH! >> Stephen: THERE'S YOUR
BEAUTIFUL COSTAR. WHO IS THIS? WHO ARE WE LOOKING AT HERE? >> THIS IS-- THIS IS AUNT TILLY,
WHO PLAYS BRANDY. SHE WAS 11 LAST MONTH. AND SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
DOG. YEAH. >> Stephen: WOW. IS IT HARD? SOMETIMES WHEN YOU END A SHOW,
IT CAN FEEL LIKE A FAMILY, YOU KNOW, LIKE BREAKING UP A
RELATIONSHIP. WHAT'S IT LIKE HAVING TO SAY
GOOD-BYE TO A CAST MEMBER LIKE THIS? >> THE REST OF THE CAST I WAS
SAYING GOOD-BYE-- WHATEVER-- AND WHEN I WENT TO HUG HER, THAT'S
WHEN WE REALLY GOT EMOTIONAL. I WAS THINKING, SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHY SHE WON'T SEE ME NEXT WEEK. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SO I WAS WORRIED. BUT THEN, I SEE HER IN PUBLICITY
AND STUFF. >> HOW DOES SHE REACT WHEN SHE
SEES YOU? >> SHE RUNS STRAIGHT OVER TO ME. HONESTLY, THERE IS NOTHING AS
BEAUTIFUL AS A DOG. YEAH. <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i>
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH MORE RICKY GERVAIS.
