#TheLoveHour | Balance is a myth w/ Khadeen and Devale Ellis

[Music] [Music] hello everybody welcome back to the live Arab not forget off that why y'all didn't bite me y'all went up in there y'all was wearing your nice clothes in your taxi toes and y'all I say can't come in with my suitcase keV I sent you Inc it was in the mail some of the address would they switch the digit by the time they got back to the studio it was a plane all the way to Atlanta Georgia totally y'all got the golden ticket and that was just a moment sixth off it was like a golden video no no it could be 40 years well the pain will be is just fresh just as fresh my bad Tyler no me no me also lay on the couch here we can do a full session all right all right welcome we welcome you once we welcome you twice we welcome the name of Jesus Christ I am your host miss kept on stage and I'm joined by my co-host husband and co-host the keV on stage and if you haven't noticed we have two Fantastico guests with us here today that I'm super excited about Davao and Kadeem la vie de Valence stage I'm super super super excited to have you guys on our podcast we raised on their podcast and we had a great time yes we're the best I was afraid that your producer cuz we were just afraid that your producer was like because we were in there for like I got so I told Kay what music do like when it's three boys there are the same age you go to the bathroom is go to bed and then you back away how far you can pee from the toilet in Tennessee all them years allegedly I don't have to admit I grew up with sisters I have two younger sisters when I tell you this was never thing never thing just never a thing no 90 tell sometimes that Jax does not think if I don't hear it hit in the water I would like to me I Jackson I don't hear the water he's like what warnimont I might be in the water cuz I hear it splashing up against the rim splash behind the edges and I just know for sure that there's gonna be pissed everything is your pee stream doing gymnastics sometimes it comes out like way faster than you were ready and I apologize in advance to anyone who just pops up at our house unexpected and needs to use the bathroom because chances are one of them toilets is no threat Mellie is the truth two weeks ago I'm in the bed and I hear the toilet seat what I do I roll over you know and I'm like Kadeem is still in the bed so my bad food Kyra I hear toilet flush Kyra walk his little self out of our room you will pass your bathroom yeah so common our room in the middle nights are two we have three bathrooms their bathroom is they have to walk past there fast it was so important for us when we got this house our own house in Washington was just one bathroom upstairs right this house we want y'all to have your own looks to be the same thing they walk right it's right outside their adults walk right past it knock on our door go pee in it which I'll show was in the other one so then you wait does that make you mad wait as a man that makes me mad bro I do it yes yes that's it Candace I don't want I don't smell nobody else dude I don't only do I got a bathroom there you don't do no talking about how to become vegan because K is a fake are you disrespectful I got a black bean burger Mike and maybe your vegan dish it is it is a thing man all the sets when we first came in the boys were on set all the time all vegan lunches vegan this vegan that I tried it I used to give vegans a lot of crap and then I tried it I tried to do it for 30 days and I lasted three and a half and I have never said nothing to them again me neither it's what we was all on it one of these damn fishing Charles man cut - two days later the bacon egg and cheese on a roll chocolate milk eggs or cigarettes they did a whole thing of a dairy section and in it right underneath it they were just like dairy it was like bad as cigarettes you're sensational it's funny now I don't believe you the pig story was hard right right this is too much this is not oh my gosh this is so hilarious that was a really great intro of what to expect for the rest of this episode and while we're taught and about health I also want to tell you what else has really helped be healthy getting eight hours of sleep sleep is important and beyond getting a great mattress you need great sheets the holidays are coming up and this year I really want to give more equal friendly gifts this holiday season and I just discovered attitude which actually we didn't just discover attitude we have their sheets on our beds right now today at this very moment they are a sustainable bedding company they are the most sustainable bedding company on the planet their sheets are really comfortable and you ever buy something and you're like this is like the most adult purchase of my entire life like that's how I feel about like when you get your first car when you get your first appliance like major appliance whether that's like a refrigerator or like whatever it is you're like listen I'm a fully peaked adult in this moment 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live today and asked our audience some questions that they wanted us to discuss with the Ellis's so that is what we're going to do first only people that we know in the history of LA since us that have moved to LA with children alive already yes that people were just like okay children are alive and y'all are moving them to count with no previous job set up and people just like how everybody else we knew they already came here before they have kids right or they left their kids with family but job came and transplanted children and family yeah cuz y'all have family in New York pops and yeah people the videos in New York so what was that like like how did y'all come to the decision to move to LA and how hard was it knowing you had three little children alive oh my god well them the first thing was like we you know we're all entrepreneurs but the thing is we had set income you know because we have the podcast and because we have the YouTube channel and because we create content we knew you know based on our yearly income we had revenue coming in for the year so we were like you know what even though we don't have a job we know we're gonna be making money up until I think they'll at that point we we already had contracts for up until May next year okay so we like so we good we got we got money coming in which is good um the only thing that was difficult was leaving our village because we were kind of gifted the fact that we live six blocks away from each other our whole life so our parents live so close my brother lives down the block for my parents her brother and sister live with their parents so everybody's right there yeah because I drop our kids in the neighborhood and somebody will come pick em up Oh who's around anybody you sent out the group text in the chat yeah and then dinner bad site we don't worry about any of that yeah right now I had a baby my own children usually just kidding I know you gotta you gotta put like mothers no dad that's what happens well that's interesting for us because that's when we grew up military so moving for us wasn't as much of a village thing because our family had moved alright I think that that made a lot easier for us because our parents had both moved her sister had moved her sisters so we were just like ain't nobody like in the military your family is where are you are stationed right so but we did it was hard to give him friends and people watch the kids for real like that was like we had my brother was down the street he moved here but down the street in la is not down the street no from like literally he was like a seven minute drive and he moves here was like an hour and a half so just like we can't we can't go to movies no we haven't been out we haven't been out and I mean you know we didn't come ourselves we brought her mother-in-law which has been great my mother outside of the stairs they was watching into the spiders they was inspired yes we have three Miles Morales and my mother-in-law has transitioned into a different part of life now she's retired yeah so um my mother-in-law she's a director of nursing came here from Jamaica she the oldest of seven children six children Aldus of six children so she's always been in charge yeah she runs her house she's always been in charge right but now it's like it's my house but she always wants to be in charge oh that's it that's her core DMA yeah you can't change that it's old and I just I'm an Aries I don't like being told what to do like I don't like it's so bad I know you know how you know your own character flaws it's so bad it could be ten degrees outside and shower lake that would totally be him we wouldn't have been able to do this if it wasn't for her we wouldn't have been able to do this if it were and the funny thing is it was my idea when we first moved because kay was like how are we gonna move I said yo your mother's retired like let's just bring her with us we'll give her own room she go home bathroom she on the other side of the house so she don't hear when things go wonder how these three boys got here so my mother is the mom well she had three kids - way more baby showers and weddings yes yes thousand kids Wow but nobody talked about so I have a question for you so you kind of mentioned which it leads into like the next question people are always wondering even with us how do you balance this life and all that it entails and still managed a connection between the two of you it's really easy to like always tend to your children but your relationship Sacre your relationship is sacrificing yeah so sacrifice it isn't the right word that I'm looking for but we'll go with it okay how do you guys maintain that connection we don't haha I love the honesty maintaining that we just had like a whole like on vacation for four days four days and two of the days you were like at odds with each other yeah this is why I love y'all so much literally y'all be honest for real yeah your casual one time develop it be my friend he said yo me and caving be fit for a while I was like see yo he will be fit in marriage we've been on vacation I remember one time we are vacations I'm sorry countries no no no we continue we was on vacation for seven days three and a half of which we was just like that was us at the rich the kids like y'all good is right in there it was raining in mine we was just like nah bro let me tell you we were at a wedding celebrating love and I was feeling some kind of way we were we we try so hard to make it balance but realistically there's no way to always have everything you know you're not always gonna be on point you're just not always gonna be on point and sometimes the one thing I know that that works with us is I'm honest I'll tell her like I feel like we're not connecting in this way I feel like you're not paying attention to me I'm tired of being last and I'll ask her what am I not doing I feel like I feel like you're not connecting to me what can I do to make you want to be more connected honestly feel like if she's not connecting with me there's got to be something I'm not doing it's not just a hurt problem taking ownership remember remember what we want we will add the pool and we were talking about sex we're talking a whole bunch of different things and she's just like well I can work on this I go I said hey this is not a you problem I'm asking you about what I can do just please give me something don't worry about my ego don't worry about if it's gonna make me mad just tell me so I'm gonna because I feel like sometimes women like to just not hurt you ego so they try to make you feel like they want to do it they want to fix it so if I walk away thinking I'm doing everything perfect and I'm still not helping her then she's not really helping the problem and then we still be out here not liking each other yeah my problem was that I always and I found myself guilty of expecting him to understand mm-hmm like brah I got three kids but got careers we got schedules that are crazy we travel a lot if you happen to fall to the bottom of the list you're an adult you should understand hmm and I found that that's super unfair of me to always expect him to just understand like yeah you know what at some point K when can I be a priority and I had to check myself on that because I was like to him I'm really doing this to this man and I'm just like do you like yeah leaving right you you you you groan when he wants to be attended to right I had to get and I had to fix that and I'm still working on fixing that now because just that was one of the discussions we had this past weekend it was like you know everything is gonna get done when it gets done and I always have to wait and I'm tired of waiting Oh hard for men to even verbalize and I realized that in our marriage like for a man it for me I don't want to say for a man but for me it was even hard to say that hurt my feelings yes that felt weak yes like my feelings like when you do this I'll be like I'll see the video because I why are you not calling me listen this soul and she's working on it to me more credit she's soul and I know she doesn't do it on purpose but sometime doesn't matter if you're did to know whether or not but she's like so focused on the next thing like I gotta make the boys up I'm leaving did I not say the same thing to you I say yo you just got in the car and left you know what's funny we had a very interesting conversation which i think is going to is gonna intrigue people right where I said her I could understand why people cheat mmm right and it's not a man or a woman thing right but think of it for this perspective right you already excited so so thank you from this like you know that you have things in your life that you may need from your partner mm-hm and you've constantly told your partner and told your partner and your partner feels like they can't reach that goal and they start to feel inadequate now you feel like damn I don't really want to hurt my partner about telling my partner that she or he is not reaching what I need so then it becomes a thing well you know what if I could just handle it on my own and leave her to her own bliss or him to his own bliss you know some of the ignorant is bliss if if he or she doesn't know I could honestly understand why someone would think cheating may be better you don't want to hurt your partner because there's been so many conversations she and I have both had where she says stuff to me where I felt inadequate I'm like them I can't fix that from myself like I'm trying but I can't and if I can't fix it and I'm still trying to exist with you I'm never gonna be able to be what she wants me to be and vice versa so that it makes you feel hopeless unattainable thing so I'd rather not even try then to keep trying and failing right and then they're just like you don't even care you know it's it's human nature though yes the working part don't work about it I went to gym that day that joke was just funny to me like nobody ever be like you gotta believe in Melissa we talk about that all the time about how resent me being yes you know what I mean like and after a while you kick and I felt like I wanted to say this on black level last night but I didn't get a chance to they were asking about vulnerability like how did you get to that point and the truth is it's because I felt like I was losing her mm-hmm like I felt like what worked early in our marriage when we both stayed at home and didn't travel I didn't do stand-up like I was way young in my career I wasn't getting booked like that I didn't have to be as vulnerable but when I'm gone three days out of the week or four days out of the week with with travel she basically was like you know that like surface level stuff we had which worked for 14 years right that's not gonna work anymore so you're gonna have to like give me this as you gone because you're gone like the moments need to matter more and I really felt like man I cannot I don't know how to crack this club because I hadn't had to do that ever yeah in life not miss just with her like there's stuff in my life I told her like like with my real dad like stuff I just don't deal with personally like I go in there the safe of my heart put them in there and lock it and you lock it so long you forget that stuff is even in there you know it's you oh you just compress it and move on so once I start unlocking that I was crying for it everything man it's literally everything was making me cry but she was like not necessarily the crime and she's like finally like we'll break it where it feels like I'm uncovering level of you and therefore our love you know I'm saying how amazing is that that she even took the time to know like okay we need to unpack this that is being open to it yeah I've heard of a couples either one person or the other just not even being open to diving into that yeah so like kudos to you for saying you know what that day worked before now this is gonna work well the thing that's interesting I'm gonna let you talk at first she didn't have the right words that's important yes she was saying stuff like we don't talk I feel like we don't talk so what I tried first cuz I was always trying I was like let me put my phone on the charger when I get home from work seven o'clock and we'll talk hmm so now she's like and I was like let's take a walk three times a week and so I'm thinking literally taking her for literal we're not talking enough right and that's not what she meant yeah issues like I feel like I come then it was our conversations aren't deep enough we in high school you wanted eloquently articulate a baguette yes once she said I feel like you're not being vulnerable and sharing the deepest part of me with you then he was like okay and then I had to tell her which she I don't think she understood until I said I was like you got to understand I'm not hiding that just from you I'm hiding it from me so if you want me to uncover that stuff you be prepared going on and know what's in there right this is like the the deep part of the ocean right there's none Explorer be prepared you know I mean so a lot of times it's doing the work to even communicate clearly so your spouse who wants to be there for you can understand what you mean and not feel like they're missing the mark I know go ahead with Melissa want to say something so i'ma let you say that first but I'm gonna remember that thought but no go ahead go for it what we were struggling with even this past weekend right was Kate would say to me what's the matter then I would tell her then she would get upset about what I said and then I would say you know what you can't do you can't ask me what's wrong and when I'm honest be upset about what I'm being honest about because then that makes me not want to share yeah now it's like I'm on vacation I don't want to argue with you right so you know what I'd rather do I'd rather go in a different room eat these wings by myself because it was at one point what happened we ordered some wings I was into eating by myself she's just like he's gonna being here by herself on my yeah I'm cool you know trying to I'm cool and she's just like what's the matter I'm good yeah boom I lay it out then she get mad so I'm like so why even asked me I'm saying experiences right not my wings the vacation is already trashed the wings is trashed I'm for me from my perspective it wasn't even that I was upset about what he said it was just I think he he always feels as if like whenever I speak the way I speak is a little bit too forceful maybe or I don't know if it's because I drop my tone a bit or what but he was you screaming you know awkward we did our hug so impromptu hug together we got it I see your hand not even that I'm upset about it sometimes too there's a level of frustration because I know that then we're talking about things that were issues before that and now we'll say a lot of those issues of things that maybe I haven't even worked to fix it so I get frustrated with myself am we having this discussion again and we had discussion 2 months ago and I have fix it since then and then he feels like I'm just being upset with him but that's not yeah I'm not with him it's just like straining thief frustration can exude if I'm mad at yourself it still comes off as I'm not mad at you bro it's just like I'm if I could beat myself up I would you know I love uh you guys know I love these conversations so much but I love this conversation number one because we we all get the hashtag goals underneath our post but to see the realness the authentic that says we are y'all are us you only have these moments and what I think is even more like we had so many gyms in here I'm a recap of for y'all in just a minute but really quickly when I get all excited and stuff I'll be needing deodorant because into the - yeah that's your fresh so I want to tell you about natives because you guys know how much 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will not last you're going to text Kevin that's KTVI in to 64,000 one last time Kevin to 64,000 take advantage of this offer people okay I want to really quickly like encapsulate this moment and I'm hoping I don't forget all of the things that were said because they were really good number one we talked about making sure that we're able to articulate our feelings this is something I'm huge on because I think the biggest problem that exists with couples often is that we don't have the language to articulate what's going on with us I think that is the biggest problem it took me as Kevin said months to be like its vulnerability that's what the problem it's the world it took me months to figure that out and so we end up going in circles trying to identify what's wrong and when it's not right we just we're just angry we have attitude with their spouse and you're like I am trying I'm trying to I don't know what I'm tell you that just mad right now and that's what happened so I said so it's oh we all go through this I've literally talked about how I have literally studied a emotions wheel because I'm like I need to expand my vocabulary around these emotions anger and happiness on it but those are not the only two emotions that we experience and so I need to understand what are these emotions what are the definitions of those emotions so when it something's going on I can say oh that feels like loneliness oh that feels like content oh this feels like I'm missing um connection or vulnerability like I want to be able to articulate that with my husband because that's the only way to get to healing is to identified the problem first so right we don't have that next thing I thought was so so good is this idea of expressing yourself and then that is being met with some sort of like defensiveness and it's because I don't want to feel like I'm hurting my spouse I want to feel like I'm better than this moment we've talked about this and so you feel like I don't want to and I'm not mad at you I really am mad at me I'm mad at the situation I'm mad that I'm not at a point that I am better than so so real quick answer question and this is to both of you because this is something that I've always struggled with I don't know if it's a man/woman thing but Kay can tell me what she thinks is wrong and I can I can take it in and try to figure out what's going on without feeling defensive right do you think it's a woman thing that if I say that this is was wrong that the Kay admits that she gets defensive like and you admit like why is that I really want to know I'm gonna hear someone else perspective because Kay explains to me and I understand it it's her and I'm like okay is it just a devout Kadeem thing is it a man/woman thing is it a situation thing you know like what I mean me for me I always just feel like well I hear it I receive what you're saying and then I just get frustrated because I feel like it's almost like damn Kadeem he's checking you on this and you should have fixed it already and you haven't so I just get instantly upset at myself and I feel like damn I'm letting him down and it's not want to let him down of course I don't want that but then here we are ruining a perfect moment that we have together with just the two of us on vacation which like never ever hello it's our work schedule and it was all of those things compounded at one that I was like damn I just really messed up right now I think he was asking ulis oh I'm sorry because I'm trying to make sure that I'm being a good host you know what else I want to know if I'm gonna hear someone else's case respect about the echo everything you say because I feel like that too I definitely feel like it's an unintended feels like an unintentional but it feels more direct indictment of Who I am that I am not meeting the expectation that you have of me it's like it's where it's almost it doesn't mean to come off as an attack but in reality what it feels like is an attack you it feels that's the term we use I'm like you you I'm not attacking you yes I say that all the time see I'm not attacking you but and then it doesn't it doesn't know I mean you know you can tell in your mind like it is not an attack but your body is like oh girl I was listening to Esther Perel I love Esther Perot and I'd literally listen to the same episode years ago and then I listened to it like three times this morning because she just is amazing she the way she puts her words together I'm just like I just love you but one of the things she said in this episode I was listening to today and it kind of gets to what we're talking about is we often go on fact-finding missions instead of dealing with the feeling and so in this moment what I should do we should do is say like I'm sorry this is how you feel I don't want to make you feel like this I'm going to do better but instead we might go into defensive mode and maybe not I'll give an example you didn't notice three days ago I was trying to do better yeah notice two days you didn't notice that after we did that had this conversation the first time I was perfect for two weeks and I may have fall out but I don't get so that's a fact-finding mission and now we want to debate you good time so like devout wants like tangible like CCTV ATM cam because we had sex here on Tuesday we didn't on Wednesday on Thursday we did this at 4:00 o'clock so therefore technically because out because of 4 a.m. right Friday I'll tell you what breakfast I can remember thing like listen this is this is this is aim this is really what happens right you said something Melissa you said that no K said you said everything is perfect in this moment I just want to enjoy this moment right what happens to us me in particular is that it may be perfect for you because I've suppressed the way I felt so everything is perfect in your moment because I've been suppressing continuous so it's not perfect for me right now it's not perfect it seems perfect to you because I'm allowing you to be perfect in this moment but I'm not perfect little do you so then when I say how I feel the way I feel and you say well what do you mean I give you facts and then when you say to me well I do X Y Z I want to know facts because when we go over the facts and you can't back up your statement that's oh that's the only time you can realize like you know what maybe I haven't been doing it as much as I thought because you've been working so much on other things not that it's done on purpose not that you wake up in the morning go you know what I'm gonna ignore the valve today cuz you never do that yeah so am L never wasting be like I'm gonna ignore Kevin but you wake up and I gotta check the kids I gotta do this I gotta make sure to love hours right and before you know it it's like three days well I haven't even xkf what do you want for breakfast because that was our argument Hawaii on vacation work vacation as you guys know you yeah I make it very rarely is it a clue and Melissa was getting ready to launch the love our conference and she had been working like super diligently on it and she had been planning to do launch it prior to Hawaii but like maybe a week to ten days before we supposed to leave her a website provider like that hosts the conference they announced that they wouldn't be able to take payment plans like the work starting like next week so she had done right all this research for months because she knows it's an estate plan so now our vacation week has turned into one hunched I'm working so bro when I tell you cuz I had she used to get on me for years about working too much on vacation so I'm like I'm on no autopilot mode I see you I don't on vacation if you have if you guys really pay attention I'll post videos you put old videos it's up for my stories yes it's never scour the internet find viral stuff is just like man this dude jumped in the water run Mexico you don't mean stuff like that so I'm working hard to be chill this woman is laptop open phone thing this and I'm fine myself like bruh right because when we get home is definitely gonna be back today so can we just have this five days right so I'd like just gave up we walk into the most expensive dinner of the weekend and she's like I feel like you have an attitude well yes I'm glad you know that notice I have an attitude because you got on me for all these years for working all the time right and now here you go doing the same thing that you you know I mean like I'm holding my part of the bargain up and she was like you know but at the same time and she caught me between the gloves I have my gloves up and she still hit me she's like do you notice so sometimes when you were doing that I gave you grace because I knew some of the stuff was important to you and this is important to me and I don't have that you know you know this part wasn't my fault and you're treating me as if I'm doing this on purpose and I was just like it's a good one and then I had to say this devout we was walking restaurant was a good one she was like three minutes later she's like you still seem upset and I was like sometimes when you're mad is your body's still there you just gotta take it it still gotta take some time [Applause] bringing me back to two days ago because we were arguing and we argued about breakfast and dinner her taking care of meat in 30 minutes later I'm laying there in a bit and if she's come over hand coming down my die and I'm like and she just like she's just like I mean he took his blanket and I said just because you made a point don't mean that my anger just dissolves it takes you still mad time I don't wanna have sex I know you man I'm I'm not even in the morning you know the point thing is our argument was about was about hurting it was about breakfast and dinner and lunch because we had just got to argument I said hey when is it like I said you argue with me about all the things all the time that I don't do right you don't work full time I don't work full time we entrepreneurs we make things balance when's the last time you woke up and just say what do you want for breakfast was last time you made me lunch when's last time you made me dinner do you realize that we eat out so often because I try to make sure that you know those things that she was just like oh I even brought your mom to live with us so you don't have to worry about more stuff and you still can't find time to take care of me mmm and she was like I see it about yeah but we in Mexico on vacation and I'm like no no I said we're not going table this we not go on table this but one thing you said that brownie brings you back to the original point question grace because people ask all the time how do y'all have arguments toughest to make videos because our content is based on our yeah one of the questions that was the most common questions like how do y'all do it because I know y'all gonna be mad for real sometimes I'm gonna tell you that video okay when the jacks video was on the stairs yes and you was like man bro her eyes you know well you guys are great actors and acting comes from a place of truth yes but the eyes you can even be you could the greatest actor on earth she could say no man it wasn't funny if you notice I didn't do no post after that grace and being a professional Beyonce fell down a flight of stairs rather than perform we stand her wig got stuck in a frog she kept singing so my no you if this is what you want to do and this is what we have to tell people you want to be an entertainer right you gonna have to learn how to separate your personal life from your professional life when you don't want to because if you're not entertaining if you work in the stock market you don't just call your boss and be like listen me and my wife got into it I'm not coming in to work no you still gotta get your ass behind up and go to work so that day Mia hurt will argue in I said you know we still got to a 60 second video today she's like yeah I know alright let's um bump we put our feelings aside we did the video it was funny got three hundred thousand views and they'll even talk that nobody listened on tour doing the real comedians and the love hour and going through our real marriage stuff and then travel just exacerbate yes lack of breakfast lunch and dinner came from because it was like you ain't on set no more Oh where's Kraft yet I mean you can hold you want to eat here oh great great because with the kids I could make up something quick they don't care they're right fine but I'm my own shoot the battle is here and then my mom she's a great help sometime sue so she'll make something so sometimes she look at me she be like okay what's written out my [Applause] right so we will used to have to be arguing all day traveling in the hotel room ironing clothes not talking it's a trouble to go work with some man we gotta turn it on a lot of times that's that broke a lot of ice yeah absolutely sometimes it saved us because because we had to miss you know work together it helped us to break y'all know when you beeping this the hardest part sometimes is just breaking the ice of like yeah mad as I was but I've been mad for a couple of hours I got at least keep my absolutely my front up yeah like so keeping the front is important to me as a man I got my foot down why can't we be happy okay the Aries in him is like I'm not gonna be happy today because you said we should be happy today in the front up is important to me yes is exhausting that's what night that's why I be so mad when you get me mad I'll be mad my thing is like you will get me mad now I got to keep this front up I want to keep this front up Scott getting me mad if you stop getting me mad I'll have two for dinner had a couple drinks and always well in the land at night cuz then who is poking at me we'll just got back from dinner we can like when we have them dead to rights on this next tip I already do is we're at I'm dressed and all my principles pick up the big joke one thing mister said is grace how do we balance balance is learning how to give your partner grace yeah because she's not always gonna be perfect I know for a fact one thing I know I know I'm not perfect yeah I know I'm a difficult person to do I'm dramatic I'm demanding I need stuff in real time at times I can be selfish but my wife gives me grace I'm saying like that's that's really just what it is you know I sometimes I got to be back and forth but we want this same issue so Melissa and her sister me and Greg my brother we we have like brother therapy mmm cuz it's like being married to the same woman okay they are both sides it's uncanny so one thing about them that is really hard to to love or deal with not love is they grew up their parents which is a good thing I think they taught them like they didn't teach them teach them be dependent on a man right they need to change tires they can drive stick they contain oil they can cook they are would have been she'll be just fine not right married living wherever she like I'm gonna be good like I'm good so but I was trained to be a loving provider for my wife and do this and do that so when you're trying to do that for her and she's trained not to do that and then she'll go above and beyond to be like it just to prove to you I don't need nothing from you I'm gonna do that and I'm like okay so what am I supposed to do then right if you don't need I've been trained to do this and you're it's not needed in this situation you've been trained do the opposite and we're like this like soften that up a little bit I am learning because you'll be like I'm just trying to help I promise I am you a my dad no no I'm not trying to be your dad my brother has a great example he his wife was he was like there at the airport she had a big suitcase and he's like yo could I help you with dishes I got it he says she struggled laughing about I did it she struggling bump it up against the car haha help me Wow so he said what he had to tell her wife and I try to do swim Alyssa's it's important to me that life is easy for you allow me to do this for you so things can go smoothly for you and that somehow made sense to her as opposed to what she was reading it is Melissa gave me this and it's been so helpful the narrative I'm telling myself is so what she was telling herself is you think I can't do this and I need your help and that wasn't his thing but he wants to make life easy that comes across so much better I want to make your life easier comes across so much better than I think you can't do this I'm telling you the way that I grew up in life I grew up in this life this is like you and your ten do I know we go back and forth I just wanna use one example go ahead Melissa was editing something I've been editing for years on Final Cut she's learning right she's doing something I can see what she's messing up on my oh you just got you did anybody ask you oh honey I'm good you know what turn my back on her good night this girl struggle for three more hours but that was her and I'm not trying to be your dad Melissa I'm just but she she took it as you don't think I can do that it's not that it's that five years ago I spent three hours when where is this button watching YouTube videos I thank sleep I usually don't ask you cuz it took me a lot of videos that first because she watching the videos i watch like that dude never explain okay it's 22 minutes long so you ain't getting eight hours of sleep on the sheets yeah I I definitely struggle with this is literal like right now today I struggle with feelings of measuring up I struggle with feeling like I don't want to be your damsel-in-distress I don't want to prince charming to come and rescue me that's never been Who I am I want you to know that I want your help I don't need your help so when you approach me I want it to be on some like I want to help you not that I think you can't do it I just want to help you and for me that's like I never want to look I don't don't make me feel like I'm incompetent don't make me look Phil make me feel like I'm dumb and I don't know what I'm doing I can figure this out without you and I'll spend three hours well I'll do it only get three hours of sleep but I'm a figure it out like that's just literally my energy but that can be problematic in a relationship when you have a husband who wants to be there like let me be I do want to be your prince charming I do want to do those things for you and my dad he grew up with just his mom his dad was kind of absent in his life and so my grandma is very much like what was very much like right like how much you know here I got this and I watched her get this you know what I mean and my parent my dad instilled that in me my sister don't be out here and be dependent on nobody right you gonna learn how to do this on your own and that's me that's me and my sister I don't want your help and if I ask for it it's because or I don't need your help and if I ask for your help it's because I want it not because I needed make sure you got that we the other thing that happened in our life is like so one thing that happens in marriage a lot you don't realize you are assuming you're your spouse has a 360 degree view of your life so what happened these Melissa's always been great at her job at the bank she i mean rose the ranks to the top assistant manager like that at Boeing at the top that's what Harrison I mean always and people always coming to her for help right and my job not the same just terrible employee all the time nobody ever asked me no questions ha until I got you never wanna be an employee Boeing they were like nobody even ever got screens one fake work the other to watch you time I got the privacy screen on the YouTube computer so y'all can see the fake work on the on the born computer so what happened was I know a lot about this entrepreneurial stuff Melissa's doesn't know as much because she's new to it she doesn't know about editing all this stuff so now she's like you know one day she barked at me I was trying to help her with something no you could just get it on business she's like you know I was a boss at my job people asked me questions I was like well that was an interesting answer to a question however later but this was at my son's soccer game like oh yeah you get the Collegium here well not my job people ask me questions are you going to smoke so what she said was which made sense she was out of her depth when she moved from this job to entrepreneurship and when you and when I would just give her all the answers it made her feel like I want comfort employees right yeah job at a TD when people ask me questions they didn't know the answer they're like keV what should we do about this give the answer so I'm treating her like one of my employees now my partner in the business we're supposed to be building this business together she don't feel like a business partner she feels like go do this here's your answer did you order lunch yeah you know so I was like yeah I get that actually because your whole life people have come to you and now he's feeding you like an algae level employee not a an executive in a company we share a mom living with us I'm listening to this and I hear my life is my life did this one thing I struggle with bro because we're our dynamics a little bit different Kadeem is very old-school cadena has not opened the door upon gas in about 17 years since I came around she's like you're a man you're supposed to do man things I used in New York Drive to find full-service gas stations like I'll bypass like 12 like suck owner so she don't mind saying to value a man you supposed to do this taking out the trash can but then what bothers me is that if I were to ever say you're a woman you're supposed to do women thinks it's a problem although although when it comes to men things I have to do these things if I would have never in my kitchen cooking if I were to just say that don't have it would be a problem but it's okay for women I got Matt Wright to say a great point he was bubbling up just thinking she walked to a door she stand right in front the door she would look around she would not look at the knob so an hour done what did you do let me I want to be the knighting on the outside of the street we will fight you pull out your own chair if you go to the door and hold it for me would probably have a fight but my thing is that I love doing those things because like your brother-in-law said I want to make your life easier right but what I want in reciprocation is I want for you to wake up in the morning and say to him okay what's the vow going through today how can I make his life easier and that's the reciprocation that's where we our struggle is mi tell you and I know you got to do your thing list the one thing that because I'm not even like that as much but when the kids were born and the kids are hard you find all the the kids honey let me make sure there's something when I count their status oh the key so you have that ability yes it's and you're good at it you good at it can you Joe you you eat you gotta eat Joe okay my stomach you make sure you go it out for them but I might even say make my plate but have a pot it so I can dip my cousin the thing is I found this is fun it's kind of unrelated but it's funny social media will make you feel like you have to take on the offense of others of course like man like you got to make my plate like in my family my mom never made plates for anybody because she was just busy my birthday was like let me give Charles something to eat before I go to work so there's food it shouldn't even played it it's just on the stove so we always went made our place so that never bothered me so my hug grandmother got on her once and she made my plate on the paper plate when I came home from work and her grandmother looked at her like she was crazy like that man been all day working and it was like gee did you talk to your husband when's he getting home when's he getting home don't you think he's gonna walk through the door and he walked through the door and she was like and you didn't have his tune already like it needed to be piping hot homeless vet with the night hormone and the drink and she did that for my grandfather though I forgot what I was watching the video and it was a black woman who said I'm in America the only place where a black man feels like I came is in their own home they go out in the world and they feel like crap all day people make them feel like they're less than Union literally three-fifths of the human the only time a black man and this was back in the 50s and women didn't work yeah anytime they felt like they had ownership of their humanity was at home so for black women back then it was important to make your husband so he could have the power to go out and be and be like deal with all of that and I was like wow that's so deep and I think it's important for all of us because I can understand why Melissa is the way she is mm-hmm obviously you can cuz you're married I can understand why cadenas and I think that's the most important thing about why we have these conversations I know my wife ain't perfect my wife ain't a cookie cut a version of who I wanted to be I know I'm not perfect I'd okay don't wake up in the morning look at this no okay look up in the morning be like wow like I choose to do this every day but understanding true I'm saying that's what makes it makes it because I hear you talk about dynamics or Melissa's life then I'm like yo this man is really in tune you have to say his wife oh you really talk like I'm like you you're just not sitting here like oh my wife pretty oh no you said hey like my wife's been through this she's going through this for payment school dude I'm like that's the type of work that needs to get done we played sports you probably better level than I did but we understand the game yeah the great players they know their self they know their teammate they know their opponent ya know the history they know your tendencies like in order to be great you have to know all the whole scope not just from the moment I met her what's right what happened before yeah mom what's her yeah oh this versus the middle versus the youngest that's a different way you see the world huh what did you want to do Melissa's like if I didn't get married I'd be in New York in a power suit with a briefcase rocking my life so that she's gonna propose yes in all white cause ain't no kids not a one Lord to ceiling glass that's valuable yeah everywhere that no one's gonna break I told about I said listen you know when we make it make it and we can afford to have a spot for just you and I it's gonna be in a penthouse somewhere all right it's gonna be like such a rich conversation I'm like bubbling it's been the thing that I'm I think dr. Shepherd said to me and I was like yes that's what I'm doing I always feel like elated and bubbling when conversations are like really really good and that's how I feel right now it's more than just like let's talk about who you guys are like this is deep just understanding and hearing dynamics of different relationships that always shines a light number one that like we're all normal and you're going through the same thing you know we're different in some ways but at the end of the day everyone has the same core values of your value to feel loved to feel connected those things are the same across humanity and so having these conversations are just like I hope you guys are excited about it as I am in addition to excitement we know that we're in the holiday season don't get fat over the holidays don't do it cuz you gonna be sad but that's okay because if you are sad I got somebody who can help you there call open fit hello at hello and don't wait for the new year start now that sound like a gospel song don't wait for the new year start now don't wait for the new year you want that new you new year new me all that kind of stuff you want it you want to wait till January first why start now develop those habits get into that discipline mode today right now and start creating the life that you want for yourself and you don't have to wait because we all want to be snatched like miss Kadeem I listen you bout here working like Jesus why can't you transport Amen squats with my thighs and Carol that's a get your weight up there you go I want to tell you about open fit what is so great about them is that they allowed those people who are busy we're all busy we just talked about how busy our schedules are and they impact our relationships but in addition when you're busy it impacts your health and so you have to make your health a priority and sometimes all you have is 10 minutes a day and that's what open fit allows you to do you can do this from the comfort of your own home in as little as 10 minutes a day open fit takes all the complexity out of losing weight and getting fit it's a brand new super simple streaming service that allows you to work out from the comfort of your living room in as little as 10 minutes a day with open fit you don't have to worry about feeling embarrassed at the gym you can get your workout from the privacy of your home own home sometimes going to the gym is so intimidated because they have so many like bars and bells and this and they look like they're know what they're doing yes it was a section where the people don't know what y'all doing and we over here you won you won and so for those people who feel intimidated by going out to the gym those people that feel embarrassed this allows you to get your steps in get your workout in without actually hafting needing to leave the comfort of your own home and go to the gym which is also great too because traveling to the gym sometimes getting out the bed is a struggle then you got to get in a car and go to the German child that's too many steps to get to where I need to be if I could just roll over and do it in the comfort of my own home maybe even in your bedroom that's you might be able to get this so this allows you that opportunity that flexibility open fit has changed the way I work out and texting my code loved to 30 30 30 you can join me on a fitness journey personalized just for you right now during the open fit 30-day challenge my listeners get a special extended 30-day free trial membership to open fit when you text love l.o.v.e to 30 30 30 you will get full access to open fit all the workout and nutrition information totally free people again just text love 30 30 30 standard message and data rates may apply I'm having like such a great time he's fantastical so did anyone else want to add anything I mean Joe we talked about a whole heck of a lot but initially the question was talking about balancing careers but I think at the end of it what we've learned here is that balance is a myth but what we do need to do is offer grace groups and that was said grace to each other be able to have these conversations have them open-hearted not be defensive like me and cadet just to me to admit just a minute that we can be sometimes but Emmie but this human nature and if you find yourself in our situation it's just something to acknowledge and then I mean even with the arguments that we did have when we obey didn't we like come home like hands yeah I feel like those conversations then just garner a greater understanding yeah percent and that clarity sometimes is enough to make you feel like hey I understand what's going on and be I now feel a little more motivated absolutely no word by my spouse and by him wanting him to be happy I feel more motivated to then you know get on the job you know I love that because I made a breakfast this morning y'all I didn't put my eyelashes on because I was making his bacon egg and cheese so we sacrifice listen I forgot my but you did right and my babies that's what's important job one thing I'll add is of course I like the grace the work but also just wanting yeah it's wanting to be here like I'm married because I want to be married I was listening to the radio this morning and a woman called in and she said um how do I get my boyfriend to want to commit to marriage and I was just like yeah yeah like there's nothing you can do he got either one two or not one sir there's nothing you can do okay never made me want to be committed I just want to be committed yeah I never made a case you want to be admitted if you committed to this marriage and you're committed to your profession you'll find balance in there but you just gotta want to do it that's it really even if you think of like a seesaw or anything they like balancing on like a like a unicycle you see those people yeah even if they do it it is extremely it's leaning in here you're gonna go too far over on this side sometimes yeah balance is nothing but re correction Oh it's like driving a car when I was a kid I was like I don't understand why when adults drive a car they're just not holding it but you got a the road is moving the tires of this you're constantly adjusting and just trying to stay in between the white lanes and that's great this is a great episode for me grace and recalibrating so good for balance that yeah those are the two things that's great grace and recalibrating grace don't like what what you're asking when I say Melissa I want you to let me be the man in your life or or let me do stuff that's manly you're asking someone who's 36 years old to recalibrate a thought pattern she's had for her whole life and then expecting it to happen like that when you're you're developing anything anything a skill acting football training weightlifting you have to take time and some of those days are you know you're trying to work out you're gonna have bad workouts days that you miss months where youth fall off same thing with your spouse your answers might've changed a personality trait to accommodate you that's not gonna be done like that's why I appreciate them thing I appreciate about Melissa the most is willingness she's willing if you don't care like if you if I bring that to you just like when you you you that's dumb she's like okay I understand that I'm going to try even though she still walks out of the house just without kissing me bro a lot of time though I'm not gonna get breakfast tomorrow so I know but you can appreciate the times that she does remember I do I I mean you know I'm saying but a lot of times we just we want to be mad so much that we don't give it's no grace no grace yo I'll give you some science Bob what'd you just say studying exercise physiology as a pro athlete it takes a thousand hours of muscle movement to become muscle memory so that was an hour thousand hours so remember when you you know you know if you heard the saying that if you see somebody's really great at something you best believe they probably can't read because they spent all of that time just focusing on Michael Jordan on the mic well your villain is the roof okay that losses all he wanted to say English words that's the chief domo thousand hours so think about that if you're in a relationship you said Mel's thirty-six years old her pattern has been this you tell her for the first time that this was gonna take people won't change instantly it takes thousands of hours to become muscle memory because ultimately it's gonna go back to what she's comfortable doing if she doesn't constantly vocal default setting we played one-on-one I beat him one-on-one I see so many times right and the last time I beat him I was like I'm not playing you know more brokers you you - you'd be backing me down you're too heavy why'd you hurt my back last time right because I ain't gonna do that jumpers only he missed one two shots right right back - boom Oh boom for the whole gang cuz you go default - whether your default setting is your default that's your comfort zone that's your nature that's gonna be what your go to then you have to work against that to become who you are it's a thousand hours a lot of walking out the house a lot of talk about kissing I don't know if this is something I find interesting when Kay I think you've booked a makeup role on a TV show and y'all role switched yes and you had links for four weeks and you was going through hell yeah what was that like as I imagine as you guys careers progress you're gonna have seasons where you're rocking and you're gonna be down off season our shelves finished and Kay's gonna have a but like how do you guys both handle the the switching of those roles so dramatically I'll be the first thing 100% honest is that I'm so happy to see her get her opportunities this is just God's honest truth that whatever I have going on I immediately become second mm-hmm and it's because for the large part of our relationship she has always taken the back role because when I was playing football she moved out to Detroit while I was playing with the Lions then when we came back and got married we wanted to have children right away she backed off of doing TV films what we gonna have Jackson then when she was building back up you want to have more kids and I had to say to myself there's never gonna be a point in our marriage where I have to stop my career Cole to do something for my wife yeah our marriage you never know that so if it's a Ramos she booked like she just booked something knows all right that's how my manager yo whatever we have come on no it has to be around cake schedule right because she's done that for so long that I'm I'm excited to see her blossom yeah so I make jokes about being miserable I really wasn't miserable it was amazing to watch her get up and do something she wanted to do and not worry about mm-hmm the kids and I talked about wanting to be her knight in shining armor I do wake up in the morning saying I want to make her life easier so to take on all of that for once and say you know like go chase that don't worry about the kids sometimes the knight in shining armor is just somebody who's willing to change all the doctor yes Kyra the car okay it was a struggle as far as learning how to adapt to that hmm but I was like so happy like I used to wake up early with her make sure she had breakfast like all the things that I want this is how you make breakfast I don't cook but I mean uh today you gotta make a coffee I don't bag use the hugest thing yeah because you know people particularly like they coffee all colors but I mean it was great for me though to be able to have them early call times four three six five a.m. and just get up out the bed grab my kit and go to work and be around adults and have adult conversation and just be able to to flourish and work on a project that I felt like was bigger than me at the moment and be a part of a team and just do something different and literally not having to worry about anything at home like I had so much confidence in him that I was like I have to call and check in for me I don't have to do the post-its she don't like me to tell her story Casino wants to get arrested one morning one morning she woke up and heard her call she her cold times I got you yeah it was the second day second a cool time it got changed and this was a new duction and the production manager didn't email makeup so she had got the email like first thing in the morning you're like where are you you know where that's okay he didn't change that they didn't tell me so we get up and I gotta take the boys to school so I woke Jackson up and I said Kay I'm gonna just drop it you don't get on the Shama dropping she said but what about the kids there listen Jackson stuff it at some point in his life he's gonna have to learn how to take his brother this is right so I got the babies right and they sleep and I put them in Jackson room I said listen you watch the TV right I'm gonna be back in nine minutes Jackson had the TV here he had his laptop I said FaceTime me if you get scared the FaceTime me I'm gonna see everything that's going on I got in the car I'm driving through the streets and home by themselves now these days you know they'll arrest you for stuff like that I was seven it was me Tori Bryan in a house by sarchie but I thought about this whole babysitting thing it's gonna be on there fine Jeff has a joke where he says we didn't have babysitters when we were kids we got instructions and legs literally don't answer the phone don't answer the door like those were the same thing don't you check that was a great love that I think that that's so sweet I have one last question I think it's actually a really great way to kind of round this out what is the best piece of marriage advice you can give to our listeners this is probably one of my favorite questions and actually I just wrote down something that Duvall said but I want to give you guys a chance to to go through Kevlar you don't think of something new we're in a letter yes go out no I'm gonna let them go but I want you to go laughs okay okay oh no we actually normally don't you don't know we never do we never did this before it um find so one who has found happiness in themselves because you can't make anybody happy it's easy to make somebody mad and must a day up but if they have not found happiness in themselves no matter what you do or what you bring to the relationship you'll never make them happy and you'll always feel inadequate and that miserably that misery will just last in your marriage that is my that is my biggest thing to people you found someone man woman if they're not happy find somebody else which is particularly interesting you say that because like Melissa and Kevin we met each other super young mm-hmm so what we thought was happiness at 18 wasn't the same as happiness 21 25 [Applause] college and bliss oh this is like you know I make my little money and we're good and we can do a little vacation on spring break so that was that at that time yeah so I guess that kind of segues to my piece of advice and that's um be willing to grow and change together and yet allow your spouse the room and the support to do that support to do that because we struggled a lot with trying to say to each other or telling each other but you weren't like this when I'm so good when did you become like this when did that happen and it's like dude I would hope and pray that you do not want me to be the same person that I was at 18 or 21 or 25 I am that much older we've been through that many more experiences I'm that much wiser yeah I'd like to think so so let's just grow together it can't always be an argument it can't always be a living in the past it can't always be I'm just upset because you're different now try to understand where that difference or that change has come from 100% and work to nurture that this is a list 36.7 yes it's like iOS but lists I think the reaction I thought I was going to get from them so let's go I just didn't I love that yeah I really appreciated the support part I usually say the grace spacing graces what I know or is we got to add support yeah that's fantastic because space and grace can feel very hands-off yeah support means like now I got you man I'll do there I will say this is a new one for me leave your notions of what marriage is supposed to be at the door because what are one of my earliest biggest mistakes was trying to mold our marriage to every other marriage that I saw my pastor and wife my mom and dad Melissa's mom and dad these deacons that I like trying to fit all of our lives into these beliefs then we'll take this from there and once I just was like I forget all that mm-hmm let's decide what works for us and just do that it started to really click because I was trying to take on things from people that I don't even feel like that I remember the first time I did is Deacon was like because I brah that's true though and I was like I felt like not like a man but I was like bro man forget you bro you're gonna pay my bills if they're late right well shut up talking to me and this will work our family and I ain't paid a bill consistently I think it's hard no no that's it I want to have more things on my fingers but yeah 37 but once I decided that like even society of like like I had to stop Julian you know I play like that doesn't bother me right so why find a thing to be upset about that that doesn't even upset you like there's no reason if you know bother you just be able to get reasons to be buck right don't add ones that you don't even write you supposed to so like yeah listen I've been talking about dynamics the most like let your relationship flourish and be created because even that between you and your spouse is that's gonna change as time goes the same way you talk about teens not the same as when you guys are young Melissa is like it's the same it's like the iPhone that I've had for so long it's the same frame but breath this 11 is not like the three cameras you know well it's just not like all it is the same is the same company makes it and some of the stuff I really recognized right but if you went from this phone to the three or the three to this you'd be like this don't even feel like the same right much less a blackberry to this but we used to actually touch the letter the but I know I I really really like everything that you guys had to say it's funny Kemp that you said that last night when we were at the black levy event which was great you guys should comes out on Friday you should watch it we actually actually came out this past Friday yeah because this episode is airing after black Oh max it's coming out this Friday it comes out on Friday so go back and watch that episode I watched this coming episode tomorrow yeah I got you but last night we were talking about this idea fitting into this definition of what it means to be a wife this definition of what a marriage is and the image that came to my mind and I saw it again so clearly today take for example a a cookie cutter and there's an outline of a cookie right a perfect example okay you have cookies on a cookie sheet down and in order to fit into the mold that you have you press down on in everything that doesn't fit has to be thrown away follow my example that's what we do in marriage we believe that the definition of a wife the definition of marriage only fits into this mold and everything else I have to throw away well those pieces that you're throwing away it's part of me mm-hmm that's part of who I am and so you end up losing yourself because you've tried to stuff yourself into this smaller definition of what this is what it means to be oh my arm doesn't fit chop it off my foot doesn't fit chop that off too because you write and then you look up 15 years in your marriage and you're like I'm missing my arm this whole time it was helpful I got rid of my foot I need my foot I got places to go and things to do and I haven't been able to do it because I've been handicapping myself trying to fit into this mold of what I thought it meant to be a wife what I thought it meant to be a husband and so you find yourself trying to I'm coming back for my stuff I'm reclaiming this stuff and that's when you go through that like second evolution that second wind that I feel like everybody experiences in your marriage where you're like listen mmm I know yesterday I was like this but today I grabbed my arm and my leg back and I'm a whole new different person so what we have to do is allow me the space and grace to grow but I also need your support because I'm evolving I'm changing and I don't want to go back to who I was yesterday such a powerful image and and I think having this conversation overall that encapsulates like literally that vision that I had for sure I enjoy I enjoy this is so freaking fantastic ya know when I'd be excited it was a great combination of good information relating honesty transparency and Chad laughing about the serious things with so many times relations conversation can be dull and draining and people go you never get married it sounds so miserable somebody but you yeah she's like she's asking questions that way y'all talk and i'ma stay single and then she's like how do I find were you scared to Netflix why I ain't got no man keep that same illness that people say that to us too like cuz you know there's a series of videos at times when you you know you're doing your videos about what happens be telling the truth and then people like ya make Merisi miserable I said you know it's funny we made 8,000 videos of us laughing we make one or two videos in a row about what really goes on and now we make it miserable know you'll want to be misery people don't want to think that it's hard no they don't want to think that there's word I got no lies for you anything you want a value takes work and discipline yes and if you don't take that it's not a value that's important to you it takes work to get it it takes discipline to achieve it and you want to protect it oh yeah that's like entrepreneurship though yes people say they want entrepreneurship then when you tell them all the things it takes to be entrepreneurial a dam I'd rather just get a job I will have to release this masterclass and it's teaching people how to do what I did right and my boys are how you can give away the secrets I'm like I'm gonna tell you right now you I give you young the blueprint but you got to do the work you got nobody can make those videos I made when I was sick wisdom teeth pulled no attitude feeling non-creative feeling like I ain't even funny no more yeah video still going up are you gonna be able to do that free and I had enough for years with no I'm talking about Melissa Ramirez when I was no revenue coming in at no revenue no virality I was happy when I got a hundred views you can't remember oh we got a thousand yeah bro you got to go through some dark days so you know that's a good point you made about entrepreneurship and putting out a master class you give someone all the secrets bottom line is if you ain't willing to put in the work you all the secrets do it happy life but no though I know what to eat I know about intermittent fasting I know about complex going to chick-fil-a and getting an eight-count and a chicken sandwich and the peach milkshake oh my gosh no I'm good in well this is wrong that's the truth I can give you my rolodex but you can't make the call I can make Yakut calls out apparently that is assuming we have so much crossover audience that you may have heard but if you have not child gift from under the rock from whence you came and hit the follow button please help people where they disagree you can find me Kadeem KH a DS and David een I am and I am devout I am de vie à le we have our podcast dead-ass podcasts also on YouTube the Ellis's every Wednesday on BT watch sisters yes this is every Wednesday on BT how do you do with that cuz but I know the episode over [ __ ] I was auditioning for some webseries and I was like can I kiss somebody in the same shoes like only legit famous a regular girl from the valley no she's possible come on set come on set to watch a sex scene yeah it is a most funny sexiest non ultimate thing ever understand being an actor as well what goes in sis like a sexy yeah there's like is so well yeah but your lips are still touching this person and I have a whole issues all the cast know that we all cool he does make it a point in situations like that like to always see wife introduced me there's never like an awkward it's not just now you should this in one take the wife nobody attended Tyler out here being a fish that's so awesome that you guys get to like I think that up close and personal like super don't thing um alright I think that's it thank you guys so much for joining us today on the love our thank you to our two guests Lu let's do all the things and then as an aside that's also a note don't forget that we have the love our conference coming July twenty twenty please make sure that you register singles we didn't forget about you the pajama G is going to be lit the link to register will be in the show notes and a plus one is coming to Charlotte North Carolina December 8th it will be a great time make sure you get those tickets as well until the next time bye [Music]

Channel: MrsKevOnStage

Views: 270,382

Rating: 4.9560704 out of 5

Keywords: mrskevonstage, Mac, estee, Lauder, makeup, beginner, friendly, colourpop, the, love, hour, kevonstage, wife, Milani, Kat, von

Id: dI1m0pVyIzA

Length: 92min 16sec (5536 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 14 2019