Their Husbands Are Excessively Physical! | $exuality | Marriage | Sadhguru | Adiyogi

it's a very strong need you must marry if it is not a strong need it's a passing need you can work out your needs probably by just going to a cinema then no need to get married you know everything in your life if you're handling your life sensibly everything in your life is a portioned according to your understanding your need and your capability isn't it so yes your money time energy isn't everything allotted the way you like to arrange it this is also the same thing how much of it first of all do you need it or are you doing it because of socially your psyched if there is a need if I ask you to stop it you will become perverted because it'll all happen in your head I keep hearing these complaints all over some people generally women keep complaining their husbands are excessively physical constantly complaining he doesn't lay finger upon me whatever happens it's a problem because it will never happen exactly the way you want it as long as another person is involved nothing will ever happen 100 the way you want it isn't it so the same problem every human being faces stress strain why why are you making it Universal you're assuming that okay you are stressed and strained and what and one more point starting married and traveling in the path of yoga to reach to the destination and not getting married going on the path of the yoga which one is the best way [Applause] so he has named his wife and children as stress trained torture foreign stress strain and torture how's that I don't want you to travel in the path of yoga whatever goddamn path you're traveling on take yoga with you it will make the path easy and beautiful whether you go north or south if it is dark you take a torch isn't it only not what people take torch southern people take Darkness with you is there such a thing no so you getting married is because of your needs you are not born with your wife were you you were born like this a complete human being because you have certain needs physical psychological emotional maybe Financial social that also is there right so various needs marriage is generally supposed to be a package which deals with all these needs physical needs psychological needs emotional needs social needs sometimes financial needs also so it is a comprehensive package that if you get married all these problems are solved in one shot sometimes they may refuse to fulfill some of your needs so you get stress trained and tortured I want you to understand you married for your well-being not as some sacrifice for somebody's sake you married for your needs and your well-being isn't it you better remember that all your life you married and tied up the other person with you because you have needs you did not do it for the other person's sake yes or no let's be straight about this yes or no yes you remember this if you remember this you live in little gratitude okay you if not all the five puncher and you know the five needs at least two you fulfill for me thank you very much isn't it all the five perfectly maybe they did not fulfill at least two or three they fulfilled right your husband or your wife did they didn't they if they did not fulfill anything I don't think you would be there by now yes or no if they did not fulfill any of your needs I do not think you would still be there they're fulfilling some needs a few things maybe they are not able to fulfill so are you you are also not able to fulfill every one of the needs of the other person some your fulfilling some you are not isn't it so so why did this become stress strain and torture whichever way you have made it till now it doesn't matter if you are willing in three days time it doesn't matter how bad your situation is in three days time you can bring it to a semblance of Peace if not love if not ecstasy at least you can bring it or a peaceful state in three days time if you are willing 100 yes or no at least you can shut up simply whatever happens peace will happen and maybe they will love it so don't walk the path of yoga whatever the path you must carry yoga with you if you carry yoga with you it'll light up your path whatever path you have chosen you have chosen your path out of your needs you already done it so that's up to you those who have not done it I would like you to choose your path not out of your compulsive needs but of your conscious needs so when that stage in your life comes it is time to consciously look at your life and see will today's needs mean something to you after five years or ten years will it be worthwhile to tie up your life for the simple needs that you have today or will are these just passing needs for you it's a very strong need you must marry if it is not a strong need it's a passing need you can work out your needs probably by just going to a cinema then no need to get married you know yes many people are like this their needs are not very strong it's just passing but social structure tells them you have to not necessary it must be a conscious choice whichever way you go it must be your conscious choice not compulsive choices because if you choose compulsively you will always take it out on the people around you because you feel like a slave and you don't like it so you take it out on them and they will take it out on you so it is not about what you're doing it is about how you do it what you're doing is according to our requirements but how you do it will determine the nature of your life is it an advantage to walk single rather than walk with people yes if you want to walk rapidly in Africa there is a saying they say if you want to walk quick Walk Alone if you want to walk long walk in company you're making a long distance Journey it's better to have company if you are walking a short distance and very quick you want to walk it's best to go alone isn't it said another thing when somebody asked him the same question he said it is better to walk alone than to walk with a fool because by looking at you he is very clear who else will marry you so that is way of working so he said he's always discouraging people to take company his head this life is a brief walk why do you need company when you leave this body it's a long place there I will be there this is the offer but you think life is long so maybe you need company if you need company you take it but how you conduct this company is very important if you want to conduct this sensibly one of the most important things that you need to do particularly with your children you must do this is your psychological and your emotional framework should be around the basic fact of life the basic fact of life is that you're mortal your psychological and emotional structure should be formed around your mortality this is most important if you're constantly aware that this is a brief life any moment you will fall dead actually then you would organize your life and conduct your life in a certain way when you know time is ticking away any moment you will be knocked down you have no time to get angry with somebody isn't it you have no time to fight with somebody here you have no time to sit there depressed for a long period of time because going away because your psychological structure is organized around your immortality because of that you have lot of time to fight to be depressed to be frustrated to fret to fume you have a lot of time so it's very very important that everybody organizes their psychological and emotional structure around the Mortal nature of our existence after all you are just a bait and carrier between the last generation and the Next Generation isn't it yes for a brief time it's in your hands this world afterwards somebody else is going to take it you will see taking the Baton from the previous generation happens in most ugly ways handing over the bait into the Next Generation happens in horrible ways simply because people's mind is structured around their belief of immortality they don't see their motto if you're constantly aware that you are mortal sense will naturally Dawn upon you you will have no time for foolishness suppose you are aware that tomorrow you are going to die would you spend today fighting with somebody um because your time is ticking isn't it and your time is ticking even now not after a doctor diagnosis you with some horrible disease even now it's ticking isn't it so if you want to explore the possibility of what this is the immensity of what this is then the time is ticking too rapidly and time is a extremely relative experience if you are joyful and Blissful even if you live to be hundred it's a very brief life it's gone in no time so in this brief life where do you get time for stress strain and torture I don't know where you get time this is simply because you think you are Immortal this is the biggest mistake you have done it is just a brief Journey you must conduct it as gracefully as blissfully as possible if you do not know the cosmos at least you must know this piece of life before you fall dead that must happen to everybody this is not some kind of a prescription this is an individual need right now we must understand this in this Society we handled human sexuality like this before a girl attains puberty they are named this is the boy you're going to marry at the age of six or seven they don't marry but they say they keep telling him your uncle son this guy you want to marry him you want to marry him they're telling him you're going to marry her so they have not seen each other they have not met each other they have nothing going but emotionally they're being bound before they touch each other physically they want them to be emotionally Bound in a strong way so this is the technique of the culture how they dealt with it so when you become or attain to your puberty when your body blossoms into certain possibilities now your emotions are already with somebody so you handle your body you don't go wild because your emotions are already attached to somebody so by the time they're 15 16 the girl gets married by the time they're 17 18 the boy gets married they get into agriculture or business or whatever whatever their activity so one important aspect of the life of the youth is settled one thing is emotion another thing is a physical requirement both are settled at an early age and of course those days children came within a year or two years so they got engaged and they got busy and they life went on all right today our lives have changed because by the time you finish education most people are minimum 24 25 years of age PhD means 30 but 35 I don't know what it depends how kind your professor is so let us say average education time is 25 years of age by the time they get employment and settle down somewhere to reasonable Financial Security 30 years of time all right the peak of human hormonal function is between 15 to 13. you are not teaching people some ascetic way to live you're not giving them some sadhana that they're transforming their energy into some other possibility and attaining to something else there is no such thing and there is close proximity with opposite sex if you don't want to address it then you will create an unhealthy Society very unhealthy society which unfortunately is finding expression in violent ways in our society because we've not addressed the fundamental needs of a human being first thing is nourishment if nourishment is taken care of you must understand nourishment is survival once survival is taken taken care of naturally the species this is not even individual the species that you are is longing to reproduce this is how it's built it's longing to reproduce because this is survival of the species if people don't reproduce there is not going to be human race isn't it so your body and your mind plays many tricks and how when you look at somebody you suddenly think they are the most beautiful suddenly you think they are the most fantastic we will discover later many things but initially everything is clouded see I'm telling you let's say you are 10 12 years of age you looked at people they're quite normal suddenly you became 14 every little bump on somebody's body is a world by itself simply because your hormones begin to influence everything in a way you harm your intelligence is your intelligence is hijacked by your hormones now this is not to be judged as bad or good this is a natural process there may be a few people who will go beyond that it's fantastic for them if they can go beyond that they're not compulsive about it they went beyond it fantastic for that person but you expect the whole society to go beyond it you're just stupid such a thing doesn't happen so definitely the debate of when and how sexuality should happen has to come in but now we are still having a certain cultural aspects to us that we are an emotional lot we are still an emotional Lord people suffer immensely when things happen without the needed emotions a whole lot of people at least there may be a few people who are about that but a whole lot of people suffer so for our country for our society how to deal with this without causing a major disruption in the social structure is something that we must debate you must do research on it how to do it so because of absurd ideas either we exaggerate something or we try to unnecessarily Play Down it has a certain role in your life if you make it too big you will become perverted in your head if you try to obliterate it you will become even more perverted in your mind after all now I am speaking this is the kind of energy you are looking at me this is a kind of energy you're listening to me this is a kind of energy these are different expressions of the same Life Energy isn't it now sexuality is also another expression of the same energy now one has to decide how much of his energy in which direction he wants to send it because after all you are a limited amount of energy isn't it it's just like you have an income let's say you have five thousand dollars a month how much for the house to rent how much for eating how much for schooling how much just for fun how much for vacation you will pushing isn't it tomorrow morning you got your salary in the evening you went out and blew it up now the next month is going to be trouble isn't it of course you have a credit card but everything in your life if you're handling your life sensibly everything in your life is apportioned according to your understanding your need and your capability isn't it so yes your money time energy isn't everything allotted the way you like to arrange it this is also the same thing how much of it first of all do you need it or are you doing it because of socially your psyched if there is a need if I ask you to stop it you will become perverted because it'll all happen in your head if somebody is telling you you you're not normal another kind of perversion will come both are not needed after all you are not going after a man or woman you are going after a certain level of pleasantness so once you experience a certain level of pleasantness won't you like to dig deeper into this because whatever pleasantness happened maybe you use the other person but the pleasantness happened within you right so suppose anyway the pleasantness is happening within you the other person is just a key to open this wouldn't you like to have the key in your own hands yes that if you sit like this you are on full scale you don't need anybody no see any anything anything in your life either for pleasure money love this that it doesn't matter what for whatever the moment you become dependent on another person nobody on this planet is truly reliable isn't it I keep hearing these complaints all over some people generally women keep complaining their husbands are excessively physical some women constantly complaining he doesn't lay a finger upon me whatever happens it's a problem because it'll never happen exactly the way you want it as long as another person is involved nothing will ever happen 100 the way you want it isn't it so yes or no it never will it doesn't matter if you get married to your God it still won't happen as long as your way of being your sense of pleasure and joy is dependent on other person you'll always have a complaint doesn't matter how wonderful the other person is so in this context people might have talked about celibacy because they said take some time off don't because to extract pleasure out of somebody you have to play any number of tricks it doesn't happen simply this is called as quoting once you go to the court the Judgment Day Will Come it takes enormous amount of time effort energy and all kinds of other things frustrations jealousies problems everything attached to it so somebody said take time off from those things and see if this could be internally generated and then being with people will become more out of your love than out of your need which is definitely a better way to be with people isn't it is definitely a better way of honoring another human being isn't it so give this a little more attention instead of paying attention to that one and that one and that one give this one a little more attention it will produce for much more pleasure than any other one can produce for you foreign

Channel: Adiyogi

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Keywords: adiyogi, sadhguru, isha, sadhguru on sexuality, sadhguru about sexuality, sadhguru sexuality, sexuality sadhguru, sadhguru on marriage, sadhguru about marriage, marriage sadhguru, sahdguru on husband, sadhguru husband, sadhguru talk on husband, sadhguru about husband, sadhguru about sexual, sadhguru sexual, sadhguru sex, sex sadhguru, sex sadhguru marriage, marriage sadhguru sex, sex marriage sadhguru, adiyogi channel, adiyogi sexuality, sadhguru talk on sexuality, sexuality

Id: 7DtnT9L8aMU

Length: 26min 4sec (1564 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 20 2023