The Worst Pirates You've Never Heard Of

this video is sponsored by World of Warships at the height of the M the sun pierced its cloudy prison to cast its radiant gaze upon Captain Johnny P RIT the scourge of the Seven Seas squinting through the Brilliance of molten gold Rays the young pirate swaggered along the length of his Schooner every second step proclaimed by the resonating clunk of his peg leg on weathered Timbers the splashing sea sent sparkling salty spray showering the sun soaked smiling sailor accenting his striking pose like a Badge of valiance at the bow of his ship the aspiring pirates's eyes locked into his approaching prey the prized gallion of the Spanish treasure Fleet and ass soon to be first Big Score as captain of the flintlock fiends with a wave of his hand these poor rap scallions would bear witness to the Wrath in Judgment of his Schooner's payload all that was left to invoke his trial by Iron and Flame was one word fire while The Adventurous Tales of Bartholomew Roberts Francis Drake and Blackbeard paint a tantalizing picture of life plundering booty on the high seas the gods of statistics and reality are always there to remind us that pirate life was much more likely to be a successful and abrupt as our little friend Johnny's here as for every pirate who succeeded in finding riches there were dozens more who ended up as pathetic wretched miserable failures sometimes in many pieces that's right we're talking piracy of the seafaring variety so [ __ ] your Flint locks and chase some parrot flocks because today we're going to talk about the worst Pirates you've never heard of hey there buddy what you got there a pilate ship oh wow are those cannons yeah I'm going to be the most dangerous pirate on the Seven Seas yeah let me hear your best y y wow that's awesome well good luck dreams of sailing a Canon packed pirate ship are fun and all but it's not as fun as crushing those dreams in World of Warships World of Warships is a free-to-play naval game packed with tons of battleships 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the video it's 1717 the Golden Age of piracy and major Steve Bonnet set sail for the first time as a pirate captain and also for the first time ever there were numerous ways one could find themselves pirating during the Golden Age many were poor Sailors seized by dreams of riches and freedom others were normal Sailors seized by pirates for their riches and freedom and some were seized by the roal Navy before seizing command to seize riches and freedom Bonnet on the other hand Had An Origin unlike most others in that he did not come for mediocrity but rather aristocracy seed Bonnet grew up in Barbados on a wealthy estate of over 4 100 acres of sugarcane fields which he inherited at the young age of six after his parents passed away now you might think growing up on a farm would build this sort of rugged and handy character necessary for swashbuckling piracy but this is the 1600s uh okay I know this looks bad yeah 94 African slaves doesn't really scream tolerant no that's not fair I have three whites as well a social it of society charmer of faint Hearts major Steed Bonnet was known to be a proper gentleman but don't let that major deceive you he got that from the Barbadian militia which was essentially just a bunch of land owners who hunted down runaway slaves like I said with his wife and four kids he was all set to cruise The Lazy River equivalent of the good life but all that would change one faithful day when he decided to take a detour it's 8 in the morning ah that can't be right the life sucking vampires would be back in their coffins by now yet instead here you are sucking down madira wine like it's the first job you've ever had well Mary I just thought it was about time someone did some sucking in this house and it's pronounced m oh go down to the harbor if you want to gargle the Spanish so much Portuguese Mary it's Portuguese from the subtropical archipelago of Madera which spoiler alert is in the name if you put half as much thought into this household as you do the bottom of a bottle here we go then Mr peppers would still be alive how was I supposed to know the dog couldn't tuck and roll because who launches a dog 60 ft in the air with a sugar cane trebuchet he had a dream Mary what a cherished aspiration or ambition I know what a dream is then why'd you ask Mr Peppers died because I wasn't sure if I just heard the most ridiculous five-word sentence in my life since I said yes I will marry you that's just you're a five-word sentence George I swear to God if you touch my wine glass I will force feed you rose thorns sorry sir I also need you to go pick some rose thorns of course in a very Bonkers and blue jay approved midlife crisis Bonnet decided to spontaneously abandon his life to become a pirate many sources claim it was because he was tired of his nagging wife's constant yapping others speculated it was due to the stress from having lost a child and some theorize that the Avid Bookworm was captivated with Wonder lust of the pirate life from the novels of the time but whatever the reason I think it was pretty clear that our little Steed had a be in his Bonnet per se so despite having literally no seafaring experience he set off to Kickstart his new career on the high seas typically the first thing every new pirate had to do was steal a ship but that sounded like a lot of poor people work to Steed so he just bought one instead after getting the other Essentials like cannons ammunition and a private library in his personal quarters all he had to do was Wrangle himself up a crew hello good sir uh you seem to be of the rather swashbuckle sort how would you like to join me Pirates crew y pirate what because I have a parrot that's kind of [ __ ] up man what it can talk no no just knows that one phrase that's kind of unsettling what is your Monumental ego threatened by the mere idea that something you see as just an animal could possibly be more intelligent than you or are you just surprised by the fact that someone told you no for the first time in your privileged life or perhaps is this reaction just an outlet for how unsettled you are your own life circumstances as a whole spanning from the obvious contention plaguing your marriage to the pable insecurities encompassing your fostered resentment at the predetermined trajectory of your affluent life okay maybe too Brock after Gathering a crew Bonnet kept up his tradition of breaking pirate tradition by paying them a salary from his own fortune as opposed to the norm of just splitting shares of plunder with all his boxes checked the gentleman pirate snuck out of his home out of the island and out of a family that he would never see again adjusting to the pirate life aboard the Revenge would have been rather interesting for Bonnet instead of his usual lavish courses of ve caviar and gummy worms which I only assume are Staples of every wealthy man's diet he would have had to settle for slabs of salted meat dry biscuits and whatever other crit they can scrunch up whilst plundering booty how cute I think I'm going to call you donatell which isn't a reference for anything yet no it's not that's good but I think he's more of a bow staff guy the Pirates started their hunt around the East Coast where they found some success at first capturing a handful of ships without a fight and releasing them after they were deified except for the Barbadian ones which in order to keep word of his activities from reaching home he burned to the ground even with the profitable start bonnet's inexperience really started to shine in these encounters and the crew began to lose what little respect they had for the gentleman pirate but hopefully all that was about to change as they spotted a massive Spanish merchant ship on the horizon and race Interceptor with their Jolly Roger raised high this is it Peter the Big Score set the blowy sheets to Max and let's get this booty y blowy sheet full sale the men say full sale sorry and these men pay your salary blowy sheets to Max men Dave Jones that's no Merchant vessel it's me a Spanish man of war I mean Peter come on we've all dabbled in red light districts what not a man of [ __ ] Man of War uh listen I'm not one the judge but if you're into being eaten just don't do it on company time no not man of war man of war Cortez himself he's here what how did you get Kung toor the Pirates quickly realized they weren't facing a merchant vessel packed with luscious amounts of shiny metal but a Spanish man of war packed with scary amounts of deadly metal the ambitious hunt turned into a rapid Retreat as the Revenge scurried off faster than Bonnet left his family but not before the man of war made the sky a lot more inclusive of the periodic table killing and wounding half of bonnet's men including the big man himself after their escape the Revenge sailed towards the pirate sanctuary of nasau where Bonnet would get to network with his new co-workers per se aask our gentleman pirate was well accustomed to just like white collar networking events the biggest criminals stood out the most and Bonnet found himself making friends with none other than Edward Teach himself iconic for his rather dark andus filled facial hair a black beard if you will that's right the arguably least experienced pirate in history struck up a bromance with one of the most notorious Pirates of all time while the early details of their relationship are speculative we do know that the two captains agreed to sail together however with bonnet's captaining skills being about as competent as his parenting ones Blackbeard quickly caught on to the man's lack of seafaring expertise and hashed up a plan all right so just hang out in the quarters here and let me worry about the captaining oh okay I mean I I kind of feel like a lazy prisoner though no no think of it as an apprenticeship you're going to be learning the most important part about being a pirate y lowrisk plundering tactics uh y spot on matey and you can learn with uh with this Monopoly there be no better way to learn theft than capitalism matey uh okay and should I also start sticking lit fuses in in my hair what oh [ __ ] wow that could have been bad I swear they have a mind of their own they do anyway to work with ye pirating be tough Work Fit for Only the strongest men sir you're uh Missing ice cream time you better have saved pistachio Blackbeard persuaded Bonnet to give up command of a ship and become just a measly passenger aboard it a change that was definitely a relief for bonnet's crew the Revenge found a good deal of success under Blackbeard oh while Bonet kind of just hung around awkwardly like an engineer in well pick a social setting day after day bonnet's command felt more artificial than a Call of Duty code of conduct but he fell past the point of no return in his pirate life and even confided in some crewman that he was tired of it and would gladly leave it all behind to live life a new in Spain or Portugal a few weeks later According to some versions of the story Blackbeard would get a new Flag ship and separate from Bonnet after reinstating him as Captain sailing through the Bay of Honduras Bonnet and his men soon found themselves face to face with a new prize a massive 400 ton 26 Cannon merchantman the Protestant Caesar a score to a attractive for Bonnet to let slip by having much more combat experience than his run in with the man of war the year prior Bonnet closed the distance cut behind his pre turn in open fire Bonnet lost the cannon fight and retreated into the night with his Timbers thoroughly shivered leaving his crew to grow ever more resentful towards their gentleman Captain who just couldn't seem to catch a break after making Port they just so happened to run into Big Daddy again who proposed Bonnet be replaced by a new captain named Richards a proposal bonnet's crew wasted no time in accepting having once again lost command Bonnet was back to being a puppet challenging Elmo's record for the longest time spent with a hand up their ass fast forwarding a little bit because believe it or not there are other Pirates I want to talk about both Blackbeard and Bonnet decided to surrender themselves for a pardon the latter taking a small boat to a town in North Carolina to do so in 1717 King George I was getting real fed up with the amount of swashbuckling and deification plaguing the high seas so being the buzz kill that he was he issued a proclamation that provided any pirate who surrendered themselves a one time pardon for all their various piratey crimes therefore any and all Pirates Scallywags and or Marauders who surrender thyselves before the 5th of January in the year of our King 1718 shall be pardoned one time only for all their crimes all crimes you say including the most heinous does that include stabbing Spanish people uh yes and all other peoples as well I don't want to Pardon for the French ones what about eating stolen sushi with a knife and fork the king will forgive you but I can't say God will how about the smearing of copious amounts of butter on door knobs and or floors to make people sticky that's that's not a crime that's just weird but what if now here's an example of said proclamation in action as I will now pardon myself for the murder of that little [ __ ] now I trust you're all done wasting my time you said you only get one pardon now is it a good idea to blindly Grant pardons to some of the most violent criminals in history I don't know is it a good idea to pop threeyear expired an acids when you have a stomach ache is it when Bonnet returned to his ship Parton in hand he found that Blackbeard had one more surprise in store for him the Legendary Pirate was long gone having taken with him all of the loot as well as various weapons Provisions supplies and the best crewman at this point in his life Bonnet was what we'd call not a happy sailor and he was said to have developed a mortal hate hatred for Blackbeard it's believed he initially sought revenge against his former Ally but he failed to chase him down and would never cross path with him again so instead the man who had just gotten a pardon for piracy returned to said piracy but this time he had a new strategy to mask his piracy he would compensate the victims to make his predatory looting appear like a fair trade on paper therefore it's not stealing it's just good business thank you thank you okay great pleasure doing business with you an old cable this is worthless uh-uh uh the value comes from your imagination check this out now can you imagine what I could do with this having been the victim of a stupendous amount of comical blunders Bonnet had become a lot more violent now even training to kill his own crewman if they refused to fight at times but this renewed piracy would be shortlived as he was soon captured after a lengthy battle with pirate Hunters he was taken to Charles Town where he was imprisoned to await trial but luck would strike one more time for our little gentleman pirate as he escaped captivity to begin his life on the run ah perfect uh I believe you gentlemen have me mistaken for another handsome devil for I am Duke Jeffrey snickles of Worthington how do you do yep that's Steed Bonnet right there book him boys your parrot can talk no no he just knows that one phrase seed was recaptured after only 4 days and despite much pleading from not only him but also various damsels Enchanted by the charms of a gentleman pirate he was hanged at The Gallows on December 10th 1718 while he met a Bitter End at least he can say that he fulfilled his dream hanging out with pirates okay so I had a lot more pirate stories I wanted to talk about and I didn't really expect Bonnet to steal the spotlight more than he ever did from ships so let me know in the comments if you'd like a part two but there's still time left for one more pirate story and for this one we'll have to swim on over to the second most iconic pirate sanctuary in history Somalia when you think of piracy you think of plank walking parrot squawking booty gawking Buccaneers but don't let Pirates of the Caribbean deceive you piracy has been and always will be a thing while it may change in shape and form the piracy breeding conditions of poverty and low social status remain constant and the pirates that plagued headlines from 201 to 2017 were the infamous Somali pirates sure they lost sex appeal switching out cutlasses and sloops for AKs and Rusty motorboats but it doesn't matter how tetnus prone a pirate vessel gets you can never scrub out the Whimsical buffoonery Somali pirates took advantage of their 119,900 thousand Gumball long coastline along one of the busiest commercial trade routes on the planet to capture foreign vessels and hold them for ransom after the Somali government collapsed in the 9s foreign powers exploited the unregulated Somali waters for their various dumping Andor fishing needs hey what's going on out there um nothing what's that over there this exploitation got to the point where foreign fishing in Somali Waters surpassed domestic fishing so local fishermen took it upon themselves to start defending their resources by capturing and robbing invading vessels seeing the potential in this practice things rapidly escalated into the ransoming shenanigans that we're more familiar with today but if we learned anything from Arch Duke ferdinand's driver it's the things that always go according to plan and what might start off is one small mistake on paper can quickly unfold into disastrous results such was the case for a group of Somali pirates in 2009 who set off on a routine capture of a merchant vessel in the cover of the night they snuck up on their Target in two Skiffs and began firing their small arms to intimidate the crew and prep them for boarding but something was different about this attack this merchant ship wasn't behaving how it was supposed to instead of maneuvering in an attempt to shake off the attacking Pirates it started heading towards them to respond this was probably due to the fact that this was not a vulnerable cargo ship this was the S the French command ship for all Naval forces in the Indian Ocean whoa didn't see you there in the darkness of the night the Pirates mistook the silhouette of the S to be a civilian Merchant vessel so it started off as a routine assault quickly turned into a hasty Escape for their lives as the French warship began its Pursuit the ski split up forcing the S to pursue one of them for an hour before they finally surrendered and were arrested you could probably imagine the French crew got a good laugh out of this I mean Somali pirates and glorified canoes attacking a warship in the middle of the night was probably the stupidest thing to ever happened to them until 6 months later when it happened again again you guys like a blind person with a bow and arrow the Pirates kept hitting the wrong target again accidentally attacking the French warship in the night before they realized their mistake but as we all know blind people are very easy to tackle so while they tried to run the S gave Chase and promptly captured them now you're probably waiting for me to say this happened yet a third time and you'd be wrong this has happened like dozens of times and not just with this sh mind you I found stories of Pirates attacking warships from not only France but from Spain America the Netherlands Kenya and so on now accidentally attacking a military tanker you thought was a cargo ship is a little understandable but accidentally attacking a floral class frigate sporting what is clearly a 100mm ticket to the afterlife is a conversation I really wish I could have overheard uh are we sure this is a cargo ship yeah look you can see the containers right there what about that long angled tube pointed precariously outward as if in an Aiming fashion oh well that's obviously a pool noodle pool noodle what ship has a 30ft long pool noodle sticking outside of a big box I don't know Dan a water park Supply ship for fat Americans just [ __ ] grab the AK and let's steal some floaties again in 2009 Somali pirates mistakenly attacked the French frigate uh assuming it was a merchant vessel but to be fair this time the French were being a little devious had positioned themselves in the sun to try to lure the Pirates in before capturing all 11 of them so I guess if the sun was truly shining in all Apollo's Glory that day I can kind of buy a few dudes in a little boat treking through the waves of an open ocean not making out a warship until the last second but there's really no excuse for the time in 2006 where Simo Pirates were faced with not one but two US Navy warships and still decided to fight an American Destroyer the USS Gonzalez was on an anti-piracy Patrol when it spotted what looked like a pirate mother ship on the horizon it was joined by the missile Cruiser the USS Cape St George Who both trailed the oblivious Pirates until dawn they then sent barding teams and inflatable boats to investigate but once the Somali Buccaneers noticed them approaching they decided to open fire on the boarding parties from nearly Point Blank Range the Americans returned fire as they retreated but this was only the tip of the batshit insane iceberg that was these Pirates decision-making skills as they then decided to shoot their AKs and RPGs at the American destroyer in missile Cruiser hey so this is a destroyer right correct short for torpedo boat Destroyer actually they were invented to specialize in destroying specifically smaller vessels oh yeah anyway fulfilling its ancient Duty the American Destroyer made short work of this battle igniting a skiff and American Hellfire when his Tracer rounds hit a fuel drum this seemed to be just the stimulant the other Pirates prefrontal cortexes needed to finally engage as they then decided to surrender after leaving just a few scratches on the war ships it's really hard to imagine what the you know game plan was for these SMY Pirates maybe they thought they could intimidate and confuse the Americans for just long enough to make a quick Escape or maybe they were looking to commit suicide in a way that was most expensive for American taxpayers but perhaps their full plan hasn't been realized just yet while 12 captures and one kill were tallied a Somali pirate spokesman said that 27 Pirates had gone out to seea so my theory is that the remaining 14 had snuck aboard the American ships slowly integrated in into the military-industrial complex and have been creeping their way up through government ranks so that one day they could maybe just maybe have enough power to reinstate Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies The One and Only King of the Pirates godp speeed Somalia wacky Pirates 12 out of 10 [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Stars [Music]

Channel: BlueJay

Views: 685,270

Keywords: The Worst Pirates You've Never Heard Of, Worst Pirates, Wacky Pirates, Stede Bonnet, Stede, Bonnet, Blackbeard, Taika Waititi, Our Flag Means Death, Edward Teach, Pirates, Buccaneers, Privateers, Colonial america, history, pirate history, privateer history, cannons, pirate ship, flintlock, somali pirates, somali pirate attacks, ransom, cutlass, swashbuckling, BlueJay, Blue, Jay, Pardon, pirates of the Caribbean, jack sparrow, pirate life, yo ho, yarg, yahoy, dumbest russian voyage, frigate, sloop

Id: rLgoivl2v9o

Length: 22min 32sec (1352 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 15 2024